05x19 - Charley and the Kid

[bunniefuu]

Thank you.

You've got a problem.

Well, maybe we can help you out for a few days anyway.

Have you got room?

Oh, sure.

We can fix a place up in the attic.

Hey, the only catch might be Uncle Charley.

Oh, look, Steve, this is asking too much.

I'm sure I can figure out something else.

Oh, you won't have to, Frank.

Now, don't worry.

When I tell him the whole story,
what else can he say but yes?

No!

Charley, it'll only be for a few days.

What am I going to do with a ninny of a kid around here?

Getting on the foot and interfering with my knack?

She was practically an orphan until the
founding society located her for Frank.

I don't care if she was a...

She.

You trying to saddle me with a ninny of a female?

Dad, did you say she was a Korean orphan?

Well, no, Mike.

She's Frank Allison's daughter.

He married a Korean girl during the w*r, and she was
k*lled during a bombing raid, and the little girl was lost.

He's been trying to find her ever since.

Why don't we just fix up the attic and she
could stay there for a while until Frank

locates a housekeeper or something, hmm?

I know how these things work.

You bring her in here and count on me to
fall for her little feminine ways,

and I'll be stuck with her until they have
blizzards in Tahiti.

Well, the answer is no.

Has she been lost all this time, Jeff?

Until about a month ago, Chip.

The society found her in an orphanage
where she's been the past two years.

Before that, she was scrambling around in
alleys and fighting to stay alive.

Why don't we do this, Charlie?

Forget it.

Why don't we have Frank bring her by the
house after he picks her up at the

airport, and you can take a look at her,
and if you don't like her, why, we'll, uh.

...

We'll, uh... send her away.

Go ahead.

Call your friend.

Let him bring her by.

But just don't count on Charley.

Hmm?

Maybe this'll be a good time for me to go back to sea.

It's not like she hasn't got a father.

He's got a house.

Why should I get stuck?

They've done everything but run up the flag on me.

Hello, Frank.

Come on in.

Did you, uh... fix it with Charley?

Well, uh... Not exactly, Frank,
but I'm sure it'll all work out.

Well, here she is, huh?

This is my daughter, Leanne Allison.

Hello, Leanne.

Hello.

Does she, uh, speak English, huh?

My daughter's some in the orphanage.

She does very well.

Well, come on in.

Why don't you just call me Uncle Steve, huh?

Uncle Steve.

This is, uh, Mike.

Hi.

This is Robbie.

Hi, Leanne.

And, uh, this is Chip.

Hi.

Hello.

And, uh, this is, uh, your Uncle Charley.

Hello, Uncle Charley.

Hiya, kid.

Well, the, uh, stewardess said they had a
pretty rough flight, and, uh, she's a little tired.

I'll bet she is.

You, uh, sleepy, honey?

Sleep is a blanket for the eyes.

Isn't that poetic?

They probably taught her that the other day.

The orphanage.

Well, uh...

What do we do now, Daddy?

I guess we go to my place.

I'll take the day off tomorrow, and we'll find a
housekeeper or someone to take care of her.

Why don't you find me a mama?

Well, uh, someday.

Thanks, Steve.

Now, wait a minute, Frank.

Uh...

Stick her in the attic.

Well, uh, Leon, you're going to be staying
with us for a while.

And, Frank, you don't have a thing to
worry about, not with Uncle Charley on the job.

I can't thank you enough.

Don't think she got to me, because she didn't.

Huh?

Okay.

Yeah, Dad.

And, Leon, why don't you stay here and get
acquainted with Uncle Charley?

Listen, kid.

You're boring holes in my head with those eyes of yours.

How about reading that book I gave you?

No.

Didn't they teach you any manners in that
ding-a-ling orphanage of yours?

Uh-uh-uh, no.

One more kick out of you and I'm lowering the boom.

Where are you going?

My room.

Well, you stay here where I can see you.

Hey, uh, where are my scissors?

Hmm.

You see my tape measure in that darning eight?

Huh?

You see my thimble in those spools of thread?

No.

The least you could say is no, sir.

Come over here and help me look for them.

sh**t you.

Maybe later.

Right now, you go up to your room and stand in the corner.

Thank you, Charlie.

Well, Leon, did you have a nice day today?

The peace of the home is sent to us from heaven.

Boy, they sure knocked out some great
philosophy at that orphanage.

You see, Charlie, I told you she'd be no trouble.

She was swell.

Well, Leon, do you like it here?

The duck in the lake is pleased with the
worms placed in the mud.

Oh, come on now, Leon.

Uncle Charlie's cooking is better than that.

How's Alice's coming along with the housekeeper bit?

Well, Charlie, you just can't run out and
find a suitable woman to take care of a

nice little girl like Leon in five minutes.

Give me my worms placed in the mud.

Leon, you want two bowls of soup, huh?

Yes, Uncle Steve.

Well, here, you can have mine.

Poor kid.

I wonder how many meals she's missed in
the last couple of years.

And if that's not enough, you can have what's left of mine.

Thank you.

My heart sings songs to you.

Hiya, Leon.

I'll be right with you.

I'm making out a shopping list for when
your dad comes to dinner tonight.

Oh, here.

I made this for you after you went to bed last night.

It is Susu.

She is mine.

What's the matter with you, Leon?

Huh?

Of course it's yours.

I made it for you, and I gave it to you.

You are not her mother.

I am her mother.

Mm-hmm.

I'm glad to hear I'm not her mother.

Now, go find some place to give Susu a
nap, and let's go to the market.

Move back a little, Leon.

That's me and my shadow stuff get to be a
little warm after a while.

In 1924, is that little girl with you?

Yeah, you can't win them all.

And don't forget the stamps.

I only need a half a book more to get me a pair of
roller skates, and I need them on this job of mine.

Right.

Here you are, and 1920.

That does it, buddy.

That does what?

I'm the store detective, and we've been
watching you for the last 15 minutes.

Anybody rotten enough... to use a
little girl to steal with ought to be shot.

Now they sh**t us.

What are you two fatheads talking about?

This.

And not only that, I gotta go back to that store more
than once, and half those people will think I'm a crook.

Sure, it's easy enough to explain
something to one or two people,

but there's always somebody who didn't
hear the explanation.

So from now on, a few people are going to say, there's
that terrible man that used the little girl to steal with.

Sure, the detective knows I'm okay, but...

Leon!

Let's take food for when the snow arrives.

Look, I know why you swipe stuff.

It's a habit.

But I've told you 50 times now.

That's over.

Now you cut that out or I'm going to packer you.

Hi, Leon.

I.

Thought I heard somebody yelling down there.

Ow!

What's up, everybody?

Dinner's ready.

Well, that's a very nice thought, Leon.

Why don't you say it again for the boys, sweetheart?

Clouds are only the woolly lambs of the
Shepherd in the sky.

Isn't that nice?

Kind.

Well, Frank, why don't you sit here, and
Leon, you sit here between your daddy and me.

Yeah.

Very good.

Well, what kind of a day did you have with
Uncle Charley, sweetheart?

I wake up late, when the sun has chased
the moon away many hours.

Tell your dad the rest of it.

Oh, yes.

I then went downstairs, and Uncle Charley
found my doll that I lost long ago.

I didn't find anything.

I made it for her.

Her name is Susu.

She was lost on a boat.

It was a bad night in our village.

Well, Susu's back now.

You'll have no more problems, I promise you.

Uh, have you found anybody to take care of her yet?

Well, we, uh, think we found somebody,
Mike, but, uh, we won't be sure till tomorrow.

Whoever she is, you better give her some shingage.

What, Charlie?

Uh, I was just saying, I think it's about
time we described the rest of our day.

Uh, Uncle Charley, this is your great solid.

Yeah.

After I gave her the doll, we went to the market.

Sounds like somebody has a truck with bad timing.

Hey, where'd she go?

Leon, what are you doing under there?

Bring food.

Turn lights off.

Bad army.

Go away soon.

Now, there's, uh, there's no army here, honey.

Come on.

Here, I'll take this.

There we go.

And if she was awake, she'd kick me on the knee.

What did I do with her?

Quit looking.

It's up in her room.

What is?

Anything.

Oh, here it is.

Must have dropped it.

Yeah, you're lucky.

Look at this.

Steve, you and I got to have a talk about
that little demon.

You mean Leon?

Yeah.

What's wrong?

You wouldn't let your own kids get away
with things she does.

Believe me now, Steve.

The smart thing to do is get rid of that kid.

What do you mean she's gone?

Oh, quit standing there saying,
what do you mean she's gone?

She's gone!

And it's all my fault.

Well, of course it's not your fault, Charley.

It is, too.

I should have let her kick me a few more times.

Where are you going?

I'm going to check with the boys, and then I'm going
to call her father, and if necessary, we'll call the police.

You haven't...

You haven't heard a thing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure she's all right, but...

Yeah.

Well, if you hear anything, let us know, will you?

Yeah, we'll be here at the house.

Yeah, thanks, Ernie.

Bye.

Well, look, it's not as though she can't
take care of herself.

Sure.

Yeah, that's right.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Ernie.

Yes, I'll tell her.

Thanks.

Thanks, sir.

Chip, the purple carrot man will be out in ten minutes.

I know.

Well, you guys can sit around if you want to.

I'm going out and look some more.

We've already been looking for two days.

Where else can we look?

I'll find some place.

I'm with him.

Me too.

Chip, you'd better stay here near the phone, huh?

I thought you'd think of that.

Time for your sleep, Susu, dear.

You will not be lonesome, because Mama cares for you.

To have someone to care is celestial.

Always remember that.

Leon?

Leon?

They do not answer.

Leon?

Shh.

He will take us home to our daddy.

No.

Uncle Charley does not like us.

Yes.

He made me out of love for you.

Shh.

You hear, Leon?

Leon?

Leon, baby?

Uncle Charley!

Are you.

All right, sweetheart?

What did you do to that lady coming to get you?

Sue, I am happy, but Sousa wants to stay here.

Your turn.

You're.

Goofy enough to leave yourself wide open like that.

It's your tough luck.

Boy, Leon, you're great.

Look, what's that?

Yes, I promised Uncle Charley.

I'm sorry, Ernie.

Leon, time for you to get cleaned up for
your dad and that lady.

What's eating him?

Ah, she kicked him again.

Well, he must have done something to deserve it.

Come on.

There you are.

Leon, sweetheart.

This is Mrs. Anderson.

She's going to take care of you while I'm working.

Hello, Leon.

How do you do, Mrs. Anderson, lady?

Mrs. Anderson, this is Mr. O'Casey.

He's been taking care of Leon since she's been with us.

Oh, how do you do, Mr. O'Casey?

Hello.

Well, sweetheart, you better say goodbye.

We're going home.

Goodbye, Chip.

Goodbye, Ernie.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Goodbye, Robbie.

Goodbye, Mike.

Goodbye, Leon.

Bye.

Goodbye, Uncle Steve.

Goodbye, Leon.

Goodbye.

Now, now, we'll come and visit you, honey.

Chip, run and get Susu for her.

This is the first time we've seen her cry.

Come now, Leon.

Crying never does any good.

Here's Susu.

Good heavens.

Don't let her touch that filthy thing.

I don't think you should have done that, Mrs. Anderson.

Everything is going to be all right, honey.

I.

Told you never to do that again, Leon, honey.

This is last time, Uncle Charley.

Well,

looks like the kid will have to stay a few more days.

Yeah, it kind of looks that way, doesn't it, Frank?

It kind of looks that way.

It kind of looks that way.

Come on, honey.

Steve, you know what I think?

What?

I think Charley told Leon to kick Mrs. Anderson.

Charley tell a little child to do a thing like that?

Why, Frank!

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