10x22 - Affairs of the Heart

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

It's got the coolest place down in no time.

Oh, Howard, why can't we just get an air
conditioner like the Burkharts?

Because the time to buy an air conditioner
is in February when they're on sale.

Will you stop that?

That's true, Howard, but in February you
always say, well, it's 20 degrees out.

What do we need an air conditioner for?

Ah, I finally finished addressing my
invitations to my party.

Party?

What party?

Howard, you remember, we promised Casey a
party if she got straight A's.

Yeah, but that's before I knew.

We didn't need an incentive.

Don't be such an old poo.

Casey and I thought it would be fun if we
had a Hawaiian theme.

Okay, I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll break out the tiki torches and we can
have a barbecue in the backyard,

and that way we keep the kids out of the house.

Hi, Cunninghams.

Hi.

You all know Don Kitchell, don't you?

Oh, yeah, you're the dentist's son.

Howard, do you remember?

This is, you remember Dr. Kitchell.

Oh, yes, of course.

Yeah, he replaced a cap for him, he was.

You see, Howard had it done at the dental college
for free, you know, but they just botched up the job.

Remember, Howard, you had that cute little whistle.

Marion, please.

He talked really fast, he talked like one
of the seven dwarfs on his way to work.

Don, why don't you be a deer, run to the
car, and get the rest of the bags?

Anything for you, Jenny.

Excuse me a moment.

Marion, why is she bringing her suitcases
into my living room?

Howard, she's just staying here a few days
while her folks are out of town.

Well, if it's just for a few days,
why can't she make it on her own?

The last time she was alone, she got that
congressman in trouble.

This is the last of it.

Jenny, are you sure you won't change your
mind about a movie tonight?

Oh, gee, Don, wish I could, but,
you see, I'm studying ten days to a more

powerful vocabulary, and I don't want to
interrupt the, uh, well, uh, sorry.

Sequentiality?

What does that mean?

That means maybe some other time.

Yeah.

Well, goodbye, everybody.

Nice seeing everybody.

Bye, Jenny.

Goodbye, Don.

Goodbye, Don.

Bye, Jenny.

Bye.

Jenny, you've been going out with him for a month.

Why'd you turn him down?

Well, K.C., life's a meat market,
and I'm just tired of the cheap cuts.

I'll take that one.

Hey, Mr. Mr. C.

Right here, I want to take a picture of
your own naturality.

Here you go.

Come on.

Come on.

Yo.

Oh, my hair looks just terrible.

No, no, no.

What is this all about?

See, this is the before shot.

Now, I'm going to take you outside,
and you're going to feast your eyes on

something magnificent that I got for you,
and that's going to be the after shot.

All right.

Come on, Mr. and Mrs. C.

Step over.

Step over.

Look at this.

Is this a dream come true or what?

And I thought it would never happen.

What is it, Marion?

Oh, he's built a little fort.

That's cute.

All right.

Listen up, huh?

It's 98 degrees.

You just finished a long day selling them
cute little wing nuts.

You're driving home, your shirt is
sticking to that plastic seat cover of yours.

All of a sudden, you come home,
you stop the car, you put on the emergency

brake, you strip down to your skivvies, and
you take a massive dive into your own pool.

Oh, I missed the seat.

Good?

Thank you.

Marion, I am not going to throw my life
savings into a hole in the ground.

No, don't you understand?

That's the great part.

I'm throwing half of my money into this hole, too.

Oh, okay, hold it.

Hold it.

Here we go.

Marion, if you want to go swimming,
there's a perfectly good pool down at the Y.

Oh, Howard, it's no fun there.

Their pool's always full of transients.

Mr. Fonzarelli, I just got off the phone
with my subcontractor.

He says we can start ripping up this yard right away.

Fonzie!

Yeah, well, there's just a little wrinkle
in the ointment there.

Mr. C., I would love you to meet Eric Sandler, right here.

Eric Sandler, the Olympic swimmer?

Yeah, I go to UWM now and work for my
father during the summer.

Sandler, plumbing pools and septic tanks?

Hey, what's going on?

Arthur is talking to Howard about a swimming pool.

Oh, that's right!

Thank you!

Hold it right here, right here, hold it!

Will you stop that?

You want an album, don't you?

Now, look, I'm sure you know your pools,
young man, but I'm not ready to put one in yet.

But, however, if I do need a new septic tank, I have one.

I have your car.

Don't worry, he's gonna come around.

He felt the same way about frost-free refrigerators.

She's dug the hole in us.

Hi, I'm Casey.

I know you.

You're Eric Sandler.



Heart-shaped mole on your upper left thigh.

Uh-huh, yeah, I've seen you at the meets.

You're the one who keeps offering to shave
the guy's bodies.

You're an Olympic swimmer?

Oh, you must have been so proud to represent
your country against the best the world has to offer.

Oh, Casey, sweetheart, why don't you just
go slip into something red, white,

and blue and run on inside, get Eric
something cold to drink?

Okay, iced tea?

That's fine.

Or I can make some freshly squeezed
lemonade, but that would take too long.

Oh, that's better.

Run along.

Uh, she really doesn't have to go to all that trouble.

Ah, she lives for it.

Look, I'd like to stay in chapel.

I've got another pool to dig this afternoon.

Oh, in this heat?

Oh, you really shouldn't leave before the
lemonade gets here.

You know, if you don't get enough
liquids on a day like today, well... Oh, my.

Are you all right?

Oh, it's just a little heat stroke.

Is there anything I can do?

You could loosen my clothing.

Eric Sandler?

Jenny's dating the Eric Sandler?

Yes.

Yes, it's true.

They've been seeing each other every day this week.

Sure.

John Wayne rides side saddle.

All right, where is she?

Where's my sleazeball cousin?

Jenny's not here.

Well, she said something about an emergency.

She probably just wants to use my fake ID again.

Hi, what's your name?

Carla.

Where's the rest of your shirt?

Oh, this is that quaint little place I was
telling you about.

Attention, everybody.

I would like for you all to meet my date
for this life, Eric Sandler.

I won't burden you with all of their names.

I'll just get something to go.

I've got a customer waiting with an algae problem.

I can't swim in the pool, but fishing's good.

Oh, but we do have fun.

Excuse me.

Why, Carla, what a truly unexpected surprise.

Why, Jenny.

And, Jen, didn't you think the cab you
sent for me would show up?

Carla, Carla, Carla, admit it.

You're jealous.

Just because some Marvy guy walks into
Arnold's with you doesn't mean it's serious.

Oh, really?

Well, then how do you explain this?

Holiday Inn finally gave you a master key.

Uh, Jenny, I've got to go.

If I'm not home when you get there, why
don't you just use your key and let yourself in?

Close your mouth, Carla.

Your tongue will dry out.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.

So, Jenny, are you going to invite Eric to
my party on Saturday night?

Sweetheart, when you've got the Hope
Diamond, you don't hide it in your bra.

There you are, Jenny.

I've been trying to reach you for four days.

Hi.

Hi, Casey.

I hope we go to Casey's party together.

Oh, well, uh, just sit down and y'all just talk a while,
and, um, I'm going to go order an apple for the pig's mouth.

Be gentle.

Oh, Don.

Don, dear, sweet, predictable Don.

We need to have a little talk.

About what?

Well, Don, I can't say that the dating hasn't been fun.

The movies, the sodas, the free dental x-rays.

I think it's time for me to move on.

Don, dear, find another woman.

Someone more conventional, someone more your own speed.

Well, like Casey.

Or a nun.

I certainly misjudged you, Jenny.

Mm-hmm.

I thought we had something going.

Yeah.

I guess I was just wasting my time.

Mm-hmm.

Well, no hard feelings.

Jenny, he was so nice.

Aren't you afraid of burning your Bridges?

Torch them, baby.

I have Eric.

I have Eric.

There we go.

Now we're going to get a nice circular breeze in here.

And that's real air, Marion.

None of that phony factory stuff you get
with air conditioning.

Hi, C's.

Hi.

Well, I finally finished waxing Eric's car.

You know, it would have taken a lot longer
if I hadn't found these cute little

mittens to help me finish polishing the chrome.

Bye.

Marion, those are my golf club covers.

Howard, now don't get upset.

I'm sure they'll just wash out.

I'm not upset.

I just need some professional help, that's all.

I'm going out to find me a hitman.

Now, see, if we had a pool, then you could cool off.

Hi, Eric.

Come on in.

Thanks.

Why not get Jenny?

Oh, don't bother.

I just dropped by to get my car.

Oh, okay.

Oh, but you can give her these.

Ooh, something for Jenny.

Mind if I just peek?

Go ahead.

It's just my laundry.

Look.

Look, when she's done cleaning my apartment,
she can just leave the key under the mat, okay?

She's cleaning your apartment?

Yeah.

Oh, she's been a great help.

Frankly, I don't know why she's doing it.

Well, I suppose because she likes you.

Yeah, I can accept that.

I just hope she doesn't get too hung up on me.

That happens to me a lot.

Jenny, hung up?

Never, never.

Good.

Because, hey, you know how it is.

Sometimes playing Jane's like,
Jenny, they, uh, they get their kicks from

hanging around good-looking, rugged athletes like myself.

Catch you later, kid.

What a cow, Patty!

I want to take one last dip before we drain this sucker.

No, thanks.

But I could use some advice.

Oh, yeah?

I'll be right there.

Shh!

Shh!

Shh!

Shh!

Shh!

Hi.

It's Jenny.

Yeah.

Jenny thinks that she and Eric are a
couple, and Eric doesn't see it that way at all.

Hmm.

And I just hate to see Jenny get hurt.

Yeah, I know.

Casey, look, you're new in town, right?

We've all been down this road with Jenny before.

And believe me, it is a dead end.

Excuse me.

Jenny, we've got to talk.

Oh, save it.

I've got to get Eric's sweater ready.

You certainly do.

You do a lot for Eric.

Oh, come on.

I just do.

I just do his laundry and walk his little
doggy and refinish his furniture.

No big deal.

He's gorgeous.

But is it worth all of this?

Casey, come out of your coma.

When Eric and I walk into that party
tonight, all of those girls are going to

finally look at me and say, I wish I were Jenny Piccalo.

And then I'm going to look at them and
laugh with that cute little way that I do.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'll get it.

Hi.

Hi.

Um, are my skirts ready yet?

Why, Eric, quelle chance, my love, it's good to see you.

Casey and I were just talking about the party tonight.

I've been thinking about that, too.

Which reminds me, I've got pineapples
galore to dice in here.

You know, I'm getting the impression that a lot
of people are starting to think of us as an item.

Well, let the tongues wag.

Well, frankly, it's making it kind of
difficult to date other girls.

But suppose I don't mind if you were to see other girls.

Just keep it out of the papers.

What I'm trying to say is I think that you
should go to that party tonight without me.

What?

Eric, you can't do that to me.

And I already hired a photographer.

It's not that I don't appreciate all the work you've done.

If it's any consolation, I really like the
finish on my dining room table.

Look, I'll make you a deal.

I'll weatherstrip your window.

If you come to the party with me for just five minutes.

No, no, no.

Jenny, what I'm... That's exactly what I mean.

I don't respond to desperate women.

But I'm not desperate.

Oh, please, let me convince you of that.

Just give me another chance.

Jenny, you're scuffing my boot.

Look, I'll level with you.

You're a good egg.

I'm just not interested in you as a woman.

You're not the person.

Bye, Jenny.

Didn't I ask you to, uh... put these on hangers?

Oh!

Never mind.

I just...

Oh, Jenny!

Eric forgot his sweater.

May I see that sweater for a moment?

Well, I just wish you weren't.

There.

Oh, well, do you feel better now?

Well, you just have to do one little thing for me.

What?

Cancel your party tonight.

What?

I can't go without Eric.

Oh, Jenny, I can't.

Oh, please, K.C., come on.

It'll be easy.

Just tell everybody you didn't get straight A's.

Tell them you're cheating, that you're a fraud.

My reputation's at stake.

Give me your date.

Here.

Try this.

What is this?

It's a wiki-wiki weenie.

A wiki-wiki weenie?

No, thanks.

I'll stick with the poi pops.

Come on, I wish you could talk Jenny into
coming out to the party.

You know, she's gonna miss the limbo contest.

I'll try, Aunt Marion, but, you know, if Melvin's
torch dance didn't get her out here, nothing will.

Oh, that was so stirring.

Hi, Lloyd.

Jenny Piccalo.

How'd you like to make a fast 10 bucks?

Listen, come to a party with me tonight
and pretend like you're madly in love with me.

What do you mean, 75?

No way, buster.

Pay me along these $65.

Forget it.

I'm not that hard up.

Jenny, come on out.

There's a lot of people that don't have dates.

Excuse me, K.C., but everyone out there is
expecting me to show up with Eric.

If I walk out there alone, they'll think he dumped me.

He did.

I know that.

But if I walk out there with someone else,
they'll think I dumped him.

Let's see.

Excuse me.

Tony Zignowski.

Yuck.

Greece or city, I'm not spending a penny over five bucks.

Hey, girls, you're missing all the fun.

Mrs. Cunningham sees everyone in the hula.

Oh, Dawn, sweetheart, you've come back
just like a little homing pigeon.

No, Jenny.

Don't say another word.

Isn't he just adorable?

Oh, Dawn, I'm so glad you saw through all
those silly little things that I said to you in Arnold.

No, but I think I did finally see the real you.

Oh, I'm nothing like the real me.

Jenny, I really liked you.

But I realized it's somebody else.

If you cared about me, you wouldn't treat
me the way you did.

Okay, Dawn, I'm sorry.

I really liked you, too.

I'm sorry.

It's too late, Jenny.

Oh, just give me another chance.

I'm here with Shelly.

Oh, Shelly Rusullo?

Yeah.

The Alpo Queen?

Oh, she's a cheap date.

You don't need to bring her any flowers.

Just a rawhide bone.

Ditch her.

Maybe that's your style, Jenny, but it's not mine.

Oh, sure.

Run on back to Shelly.

You'll have to catch her before they make
her fetch the limbo stick.

Oh, Jenny, are you all right?

Sure.

Just because no guy in the Tri-State area
will go out with me tonight.

At least it's not the first time.

You see, I have been dumped by two guys in the same day.

They're probably going to name a landfill after me.

Come on.

Gray skies are going to clear up.

Put on a happy face.

Oh, Casey, please.

I feel sick enough as it is.

Don't.

Don't make me nauseous.

Fonzie.

Hey, would you look at what Mr. C does
with the American classic?

Fonzie, Jenny's heading down that dead end again,
and this time I think she's going to need a tow truck.

All right, I'll talk to her.

You do me a favor.

Yeah?

You eat this.

If you're checking for coins between the
cushions there, forget it.

I already checked it out.

Oh, Fonzie, my knight in shining armor,
you've come to rescue me.

Jenny, down.

Sure, I get it.

You don't want to be seen with me either.

Hey, I didn't say that.

Then you'll take me to the party.

I definitely did not say that either.

Yeah, I don't blame you.

All right.

Because I'm not pretty enough.

Because I've got a very big mouth.

And I've got a body that doesn't quit,
it just knocks off early.

It's not funny, Fonzie.

Yeah, right, right.

No guy will ever really want me.

I seem to remember a guy following you
around like a pull toy after a two-year-old.

But that was just Don.

Oh, yeah, right, just Don.

We don't like him.

Oh, we like him.

Oh, yeah?

I thought he wasn't very nice.

He's pretty nice.

Uh-huh.

So I certainly understand why you gave him
his walking papers.

Fonzie, I dumped Don for Eric.

Right, Eric, the man who treated you just like a queen.

Not exactly like a queen.

You had great fun with him, huh?

Oh, not really.

Yeah, he wasn't very nice.

Not especially.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

But when I went out with him, heads turned.

Jenny, you're unbelievable.

You know, I knew a guy once that had a VW
and took him everywhere he wanted to go.

But he thought it didn't have enough flash.

That sounds like Don.

So he got himself a Cadillac.

That's Eric.

I'll tell you, when he pulled up a red light,
people, their eyes perked up, you know?

Then one day it broke down.

He didn't have any money for the break
job, so he parked it in his driveway.

Everybody looked at him and thought,
whoa, he's rolling dope.

Meanwhile, he's taking a bus to work.

That's my life.

Mm-hmm.

Thanks, Fonz.

I feel worse than ever.

See, that's what I'm here for.

Nick at Night's getting ready for Valentine's Day.

It's a romantic evening where weekday
mornings are twice as nice.

What do I always talk to you about?

Suspect.

And where does that come from?

It comes from your heart, Jenny.

Not what you're drinking.

It comes from who you drive or who you're with.

Can you dig it?

Thanks, Fonz.

I'm not done yet.

Now, you've got two choices.

You could stay and hide in here and miss
this fantabulous party, or you could get

up the courage and go out there and show
everybody that you do not mind being yourself.

Now, I'm done.

Wow.

Here I am.

Here I go.

What the heck?

All by myself.

If I have any luck, this sucker will break up early.

Hello, people.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right, it can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

These days are our happy and free.

Oh, happy days.

These days are our happy and free.

Stay tuned for another episode of Happy
Days on TV Land's Twice as Nice.

It's not going to be nice.

It's going to be wild.

No, Potsie.

It's going to be nice.

Twice as nice.

Happy days.

Happy days.