09x21 - Tell-Tale Tart

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

More than the greatest love the world has
known, this is the love that I give to you alone.

So, quarterback hands off the horny.

Horny fades back like he's gonna pass, when suddenly,
from nowhere, a linebacker blitzes in and frames him.

Hey, hey, you're gonna buy me another hamburger.

No, I'm not.

Okay.

The Bears and Packers, right?

I saw that game.

You know something?

If the ketchup didn't fumble, we'd have won.

Oh, Chachi, there you are.

Listen, this is an emergency.

I've gotta find Joanie.

What?

Hello, Bobby.

Hello, It.

He said hello to me.

It's a big emergency.

I have some very important news of an
extremely sensitive nature.

Ah, gossip.

Right.

Great, great.

What is it?

No way.

Never.

t*rture me.

Hurt me.

Set me on fire.

Ah, come on.

All right, but you won't believe it.

Listen to this.

Mr. Johnson, the print shop teacher,
was arrested for printing his own money.

We knew that.

We knew that.

But you didn't know that he printed his own money?

He printed his own face on it.

I didn't know that.

Oh, God.

That guy was an idiot.

Well, you like me.

Have you seen Joanie?

She was supposed to meet me here.

Oh, yeah, I think she's with that new girl, uh, Mickey.

Yeah, she showed her around school.

What?

Again?

You know, this is the third day in a row.

What does she have, amnesia?

Who's Mickey?

She just transferred from Fillmore High.

What a fox.

I wish I was her student guide.

I know exactly where I'd guide her.

Oh, there's Gloria Parkas.

I have to find some kind way to tell her
that her parents are splitting up.

What do you think?

Oh, nice song, but it's a tad short.

Hi, Chachi.

Hi.

Hello.

Um, I don't even think I know your name.

That's okay.

You'll never have an occasion to use it.

You know something?

I dig your accent.

Oh.

Oh, thank you.

We got basketball practice.

I'll call you later, Joanie.

See you later.

That's just the way it goes.

Oh, Miss Cunningham, so nice of you to drop
by since we were supposed to go shopping today.

Oh, Jenny, I'm sorry.

I totally forgot.

Mickey, you know my friend Jenny?

Her best friend, Jenny.

Hi, Jenny.

What do you think of our new hats?

I like Joanie's.

Come on, Jones.

Let's go cruise the record store.

I can't.

Mickey's coming over for dinner.

I'll call you later, though, okay?

Yeah.

It's Piccolo.

I'm in the book.

Yo, Fox.

You know Marty the Postman?

Yeah.

Must be broke again.

Tried to sell me the mail.

At least you got me the short-ordered monthly, right there.

Oh, yeah.

My favorite restaurant magazine.

Look at the great articles they have here.

Here's a good one.

Botulism.

How to win those nasty lawsuits.

I gotta read that one.

Yeah, you better read that one.

Well, if it ain't the future of America, you little cutie.

Hi, Fonz.

I'm glad you're here.

I want you to meet my friend, Mickey.

No kidding.

Mickey?

No.

Fonz!

Mickey.

Gosh.

Come over here.

Well, I guess you two know each other.

Are you kidding?

I used to date this lovely lady sister.

Really?

Yeah, right after we moved up here from Texas.

Gosh, it's good to see you.

I know it is.

Boy, have you grown everywhere.

Listen, does your sister still make
furniture out of beer cans?

Okay, we're gonna sojourn over here to my private table.

We got a lot of catching up to do.

I'll see you later, alright?

See ya.

That's great.

Listen, everybody, I have something to
tell you about Mickey.

Really?

I'm throwing a big party for her so she
can get to know everyone.

Friday night, you're all invited.

I don't know if I can bake his.

I might have to bake my cat.

Oh, Jenny?

Come on.

I'm running late.

Mickey and I gotta get going.

Hey, Joanie, why don't we catch a flick tonight?

There's a great new horror film out.

It came from beneath the sink.

Mickey and I saw that last night.

You should go and see it.

It's a good flick.

See you later.

Yeah, I'll go alone.

Just like I did before I met Joanie.

Mickey, I just wish you could have seen your
expression when you came in that front door.

It was hysterical.

You know, Chachi got a picture of you.

He did?

Yes.

Well, at least he shot it before the door
slammed in my face.

I tripped.

Mickey, Mickey, tell us about the time you
danced on American Bandstand.

Please, do tell.

Hey, listen, did you all rate a record
when you were on that?

Yeah, I did.

It was so much fun.

It was Little Darlings by the... The Diamonds.

Really?

Yeah, and what happened?

Hey, everybody, watch me turn my tongue upside down.

Will you excuse me for a second?

Yeah, go ahead.

Jenny, kitchen.

Will you excuse us?

Oh, well, I'll just take this popcorn out of here.

Just what do you think you're doing?

Well, it was halftime when we were all at home.

Yeah, yeah, I'm talking to Jenny.

What did I do?

You slammed the door in her face,
and don't think I don't know who walked in.

Just cut it out.

Here, have a potato chip.

Heavens, no.

Nikki might want one.

And who am I to eat her potato chip?

You think I can have my room back now?

Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.

I'll go get Mom.

Come on, Mom.

Need the new parachute?

Hello, Seven.

Seven.

Mom, Dad's real lonely in the kitchen.

So long, Son.

Hi, I'm Carla.

Having a good time?

Haven't had this much fun since I was vaccinated.

And, uh, how is Mickey getting along at Jefferson?

Oh, just fine.

They're about to make her principal.

Yeah, it's the same way at Fillmore.

I used to be her locker mate there.

You must have been shattered when she moved away.

Oh, she didn't move away.

She just changed schools.

She had to.

She what?

Tell me what.

Marcia?

Eugene Belvin.

Hey, stop screaming.

I'm not coming over.

Yeah.

Yeah, listen.

Jenny just called, and you won't believe what she heard.

That new girl, Mickey.

You know, that old friend of Fonzie's.

Yeah.

Turns out she had to leave Fillmore High.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Why?

Because she was...

She was with child.

I swear, Harriet, I heard it right from Eugene.

That new girl, that friend of Fonzie's,
left Fillmore because she was expected.

Honest.

Honest.

I wouldn't say it if I wasn't really sure.

Yeah.

You know that new girl, Mickey, got pregnant.

Guess who the father is.

Fonzie.

Who will win the TV Land Award for
favorite crime-fighting duo?

Who will be named TV's all-time dreamiest teen idol?

Which unforgettable classic TV theme song
will be honored at last?

It's all up to you.

The 2004 TV Land Awards are coming, so cast your votes.

Go to TVLand.com and select your favorites
in the viewer's choice categories.

Make your choice heard.

Log on and vote today.

That yogurt.

Hi, I'm Gordon Elliott.

I recognize you.

Let me show you something different.

Campbell's Select Soup, and we're going to try
the roasted chicken with long grain and wild rice.

They have nine varieties with more tender chicken.

Nine.

Here we go.

Can I borrow that?

Borrow your gas for one moment.

Ta-da!

Campbell's Select Soup.

Is this good enough to be your mom's soup, do you think?

This actually might be better than my mother's soup.

It's almost ill*gal amounts of chicken.

Oh, it's great.

Make it Campbell's instead.

Feel fresh.

Feel confident.

With Summer's Eve, a complete line of feminine
products, proven gentle and effective, so you can be you.

Hi, guys.

Hey.

Honey, I got that dessert you like.

Oh, great.

Oh, and look what else I got.

Honey?

Kids.

Relax, it's new natural citrus Listerine.

It's less intense.

Sure.

All right.

Sounds good.

Introducing new natural citrus Listerine.

All the same germ-k*lling power to fight plaque.

Now in a new citrus flavor that's less intense.

For a cleaner, healthier mouth.

You can handle it.

Germs can't.

What does everyone want for breakfast?

Honey Bunches of Oats!

It has strawberries!

Strawberries!

Post Honey Bunches of Oats with strawberries.

It's anything but ordinary.

Isn't that amazing?

I've been coming here for years and I
still get choked up when I walk in.

All right, my little friends, you can start talking again.

Go ahead.

It's all right.

Uh, just a guess, guys, but, uh, is anything wrong?

They won't tell me.

Roger.

People are saying that new girl Mickey got
herself into trouble.

And they're saying that Fonzie's responsible.

What?

Yeah.

Don't ask me, I just heard.

Yes.

Yes.

What?

What is going on here?

Well, people are saying, huh?

Take your hand off his mouth.

What are people saying?

Fonz, people are saying, uh, that we, that we gotta talk.

Yeah.

Uh, in your, in your office, please.

It's real important.

All right.

Let's talk in my office.

Shh.

All.

Right, Mickey, just promise me that you'll
think it over first, okay?

All right.

I'll call you later.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

Well, if it isn't Radio Free Milwaukee.

I just got off the phone with Mickey.

She's in tears.

Oh, don't tell me she got a B.

No.

She's ready to drop out of Jefferson.

Oh, life will be an empty charade without her.

Will you knock it off?

You did this.

This is just like the rumor that you
started with Noreen Qualls, too.

I never said that.

I never said Noreen was pregnant.

I just said a girl in the nurse's office said she was.

I was just passing it on, and that's all I'm doing now.

So you admit it.

I admit nothing.

I may have mentioned something to Eugene,
but it wasn't a rumor.

I was simply stating a fact.

And the fact is that there was a rumor
that Mickey was in trouble.

Then it's a person's right to make their
own interpretation.

That's what democracy is all about.

Because people think Mickey's pregnant?

Because they have the right to think she's pregnant.

I suppose you'd be happier in Russia.

Jenny, you're cracking up.

You know, it may interest you to know that
Mickey has never had a pregnant day in her life.

She was out sick with mono for five months.

Her mother had a baby.

And then a lot of dirty little minds just
assumed it was really Mickey's.

Things got so bad, Jenny, she had to change schools.

And here it started all over again.

Except now, there's so much more.

She's saying Fonzie's the father, Jenny.

Fonzie?

Yeah.

Why are they saying that?

Hello, Fonz.

There is a rumor going around.

You see these names?

I'm checking each one.

I'm going down the list, inch by little inch.

And I'm going to find out who did it.

So far, I'm up to, uh...

Eugene Belvin.

I went to his house.

His mother said he was sick in bed.

And an idiot.

I'll go back there in the morning.

I'll ask him.

He'll tell me.

Do you have any idea, Joanie?

I have no idea.

Me neither.

When I find out who it is, I'm going to start a race.

The names?

Oh, no.

The person.

The person.

I see.

Whoa.

Eugene.

Jenny.

I was just dreaming about you.

And now, now it's coming true.

Was that a good dream?

Yes, but later.

Listen.

What are you doing here?

Eugene, I have something very important to tell you.

Now, listen to me.

Fonzie's coming over here tomorrow to find
out who told you that story about Mickey.

You did.

Eugene, that's exactly what I don't want you to tell him.

Now, listen to me, Eugene.

You've got a cover for me.

Tell him anything else.

But he won't believe me.

I know him.

I mean, the word death.

Death will come up a lot.

Eugene, darling, do it for your little pooky bear, Jen-Jen.

Wait a second here.

I wasn't born just yesterday, you know.

No.

If I'm supposed to risk my life for you,
it's gonna be a price.

We've got to come to terms, baby.

That chance.

Want Fonzie to find out?

No.

Okay.

Then you'll be my girlfriend for one month.

You'll call me Love Buckets and kiss me whenever I want.

Mundo Disgusto.

Well, what's your answer?

All right, you've got a deal.

Eugene, what are you gonna tell Fonzie?

Well, I'm just gonna pin it on my brother, Melvin.

He's a real idiot.

Ask my mother.

I'm feeling very nauseous, Eugene.

Good night.

Oh, well, until tomorrow, mon pet it.

We have a date with destiny.

You missed me.

As I lay sleeping Oh, I dream the hell Oh,
come on, Bobby, that's impossible.

Jenny would never do that.

But it's all over town.

She was seen coming out of Eugene's window last night.

Yeah?

By who?

Who?

By Eugene.

Who else?

Besides, Louis Finn across the street.

He saw her, too.

Who's Louis Finn?

Oh, you know him.

He's the guy with the telescope.

He's an astronomer and a lowlife.

Oh, hi, g*ng.

Uh, hi, Joanie.

Well, hello there, passion flower.

Get much sleep last night?

I beg your pardon?

Oh, don't pay any attention to him, Jenny.

It seems that there's some kind of dumb rumor going around.

That you spent the night with Eugene.

Oh, come on.

I barely even speak to Eugene.

Joanie, tell him this isn't true.

Jenny, they have a right to their own opinions.

That's what democracy is all about.

Hiya, bunny lips.

Ready for our big date tonight?

Why, you miserable... Anyone seen Fonz?

Seven O'clock, okay?

Sorry, I didn't quite hear that.

I said I'm counting the minutes.

Come on, buckets.

Your brother, where's your brother?

Oh, he's hiding, but I promised not to tell where he is.

So I wrote it down.

Here's his address.

Till tonight, sweetheart.

How about a big, wet kiss?

I did it.

I did it.

I'm the one that started that rumor.

I'm so sorry it's not a guy.

I never hit a girl, you know, before this.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

What, are you crazy?

You can't walk around with such a big mouth.

You understand?

You understand what I'm saying?

What, do you think it was a very funny little joke?

Petty jealousy nearly ruined a girl's life.

How do you feel about that?

Sorry.

You know... Shut up.

Now, you lied to me.

Yeah, but here's money, Fonz.

This has got the shop teacher's picture on it.

I would get out... Out of here if I were you.

I'd better talk to Jenny.

Uh,

Joanie, you know what to say.

Jenny.

Jenny, I know you're in here.

You can't stay in here for the rest of your life.

Who says?

It's not that bad in here.

Besides, I've already started to redecorate.

Jenny, why'd you spread that rumor about Mickey?

Why do you hate her so much?

Because you like her so much.

Well, of course I like her.

I like you both.

Oh, come on, Jones.

Next to her, I feel like Raggedy Ann next to Barbie.

I mean, she's pretty.

She's pretty, she's smart, she doesn't live in a bathroom.

Joanie, you were my first real friend.

I acted this way because I was afraid of losing you.

I'm sorry.

Listen, I'll admit, I got a little excited
to have a new friend.

But Jenny, she could never take your place.

We're sisters.

You and I go way back.

We've got memories.

Gosh, we bought our first bras together.

Two years apart, we'll only go to ketchup.

Can't all three of us be friends?

Yeah.

But who's your best friend?

Jenny, you'll always be my best friend.

You know what, Joanie?

What?

I'm going to k*ll this rumor business.

I'm going to admit to everyone that I lied.

I'm going to apologize to Fonzie and Mickey.

I'm going to apologize to the world.

Ha.

You know, we really have had some good times together.

Yeah.

Where do we buy those bras, anyway?

Fister's.

Remember when you bought your first training bra?

Do I remember it?

I'm still wearing it.

Sorry.

You know, for years, our Eggo waffles have
made breakfast perfect.

And now, with this rich, maple-flavored
Eggo syrup, we've made it even more perfect.

Plus, with the no-drip spout, the bottle
doesn't get my hands all sticky.

There's just one thing we have to ask ourselves on this.

Why didn't we think of this before?

I mean, it's syrup.

We make waffles.

Waffles and syrup.

One of these things is sort of like the other.

Introducing Eggo syrup.

Better late than never.

I mean, it's not rocket surgery.

What's going on here?

Ouch!

Looks like Junior could use some help.

Nice shot.

Cottonelle Ultra toilet paper.

The softest, thickest, most absorbent Cottonelle.

Cottonelle.

Looking out for the family.

To exfoliate your skin every day,
would you use something hard?

Or something that polishes gently?

Dove's new creamy exfoliating body wash
with tiny beads and moisturizing lotion.

Fresh skin daily.

This chair doesn't look frightening.

It's just oak, glue, and nails.

But if you ever find yourself in it, it
can be the scariest place on the planet.

It's the defendant's chair.

And Allstate knows how intimidating it can feel.

If you're an Allstate customer and you're sued
over an accident, they'll send a lawyer to defend you.

You should never be alone.

That's Allstate Stand.

Are you in good hands?

Hanes created the Comfort Soft Waistband
because we know guys.

To get comfortable, they will employ every
available resource.

They will improvise when necessary.

Guys will pass on their comfort-seeking
skills to future generations.

Hello, Michael.

Hey, Doc.

See how the new Hanes Comfort Soft
Waistband is wrapped in cotton?

And it's tag less.

Wow.

This could be our most comfortable underwear ever.

For some time now, you've heard me use the
term Medicare Participating Provider.

What's that?

Well, if you have diabetes and you're on Medicare, it's
someone who doesn't charge too much for your testing supplies.

Like Liberty Medical.

They charge only what Medicare approves
and not a dime more.

Most drugstores will file Medicare forms, but that
doesn't make them a Medicare Participating Provider.

They decide what they're going to charge.

And, you know, you may wind up paying more.

Now, what if there's not a Medicare
Participating Provider in your area?

Well, Medicare suggests that you use a
mail order provider, like Liberty.

With Liberty, you pay nothing up front.

Your supplies are delivered right to your door.

Now that you know the difference,
there's no question who you should call.

Liberty.

They can help you live a better life.

Call 1-800-770-3175.

So little Red Riding Hood walked into her
grandmother's cottage, and Grandpa's got a bad cough.

I'm going to get some water.

Don't you go away.

My grandpa was watching me.

Come on, we'll go upstairs.

That's good, boy.

Yes.

My little big boy.

Let's see, where were we?

There.

Now, in the bed, she saw someone wearing a
shawl and a nightgown.

She was rather puzzled.

But grandmother seemed quite different,
so she said, What big eyes you have, Red.

Howard!

Shh, Marion.

All the better to see you instead.

It's all good, it's all good, it's all
good, it's all good, it's all good,

it's all good, it's all good.

Goodbye, gray sky.

Next, on The Brady Bunch, Peter Brady
could be the first cloned human.

He finds his exact double at his own school.

Why, if it weren't for his twins' glasses,
you'd never tell them apart.

Brady Bunch number 113 is up next on TV Land.

Stay tuned.

Bye.

Share them with me.

Oh, baby.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.