09x19 - Hello, Flip

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

La, la, la, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la.

Ah, and here we are being joxed!

Joanie home from the hospital.

Oh, Mom.

Oh, yeah.

We're supposed to be showing pictures of Roger's family.

Look, I read the faking, Daddy.

Come on.

What are you so embarrassed about?

You were a cute little baby.

Thanks.

How long were you bald?

Oh, no.

Children, children.

No, no, no.

Now, oh, now, here's the picture that I was looking for.

This was taken when we went east to New
Jersey to visit my sister.

Hey, Mrs. C, who's that?

Well, that's my sister and her husband.

There's Roger's.

And Roger's brother, Leopold.

Leopold?

He likes to be called Flip.

I don't blame him.

Oh, here we are at the beach.

Remember that?

Howard, you remember this picture when you
were at the beach in New Jersey?

Remember that?

How could I forget, Marion?

That's when little Leopold tried to feed
my big toe to a crab.

Leopold always liked to play these cute
little tricks on his Uncle Howard.

Cute little tricks do not require tetanus shots.

He always calls me Unc.

Ooh, I hate that.

Oh, Dad, come on, Flip isn't that bad.

No, Howard, just because he got in with a
bad crowd doesn't mean that he's a bad boy.

He was a victim of circumstances.

He stole a car, Marion.

Howard, they never proved that he was a thief.

He had an ironclad alibi.

He sure did.

He said he was taking a shower all night.

Oh, dear.

Now, what could be keeping them?

Roger said he was going to pick him up at
the airport two hours ago.

Probably Leopold stole the plane.

Roger, where is Flip?

That's exactly what I'd like to know.

I went to the terminal and waited until
everybody got off the plane.

Two hours I stood there.

Finally, I said to myself, Roger,
he's not coming off that plane.

Look, Uncle Howard, I've got to call home
and make sure everything's all right.

Can I use the phone?

Sure.

Thanks.

Hi, cuz.

Guess who?

How are you?

How are you?

Oh, dear, we were so worried about you.

Oh, I'm fine.

Here, flowers from the Garden State.

Oh, hi, Leopold.

Hi, Huck.

Here.

Scotch.

How did you get scotch?

I have a fake ID.

What did I tell you, man?

Uh, Cliff, this is my boyfriend, Chachi.

Hey, how you doing?

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, same here.

Hey, look, if you're up to it tomorrow, I'll take you
around and introduce you to all the guys, all right?

Sure, I'd like that.

All right, I'll see you tomorrow, then.

Oh, by the way, be sure to wear your sneakers, all right?

We're gonna get a little game of b-ball.

And if you're anything like your brother,
you're on my team.

I'll see you later, everybody.

Oh, and Arnold, I hate basketball.

I hate it.

Well, what do you like?

What do you think?

Oh, yeah, I like that, too.

I was ready for you that time.

Oh, I wasn't ready for that.

Bye.

Oh, how's the clothing business?

Hardware.

Same thing.

Well, he's not there, he's here.

Hey, big bro, looking good as always.

Thanks.

Thanks, it's been a long time.

Sure has.

Why weren't you on the plane?

Well, I was at the airport in New Jersey
playing some cards.

I was up 20 bucks, Rog.

I looked up and I saw the airplane flying overhead.

I waved to the pilot, but he wouldn't stop.

So I took a later flight.

Never occurred to you to just pick a phone
up and let somebody know?

No.

Thanks a lot.

Well, now you're here and you're safe.

Now that's the important thing.

Well, thanks, Aunt Marion.

All right, look, it's getting late.

What do you say we get back to my place,
get you settled in?

Probably want to decide tonight what
you'll be wearing for Sunday night.

You're going to school tomorrow, huh?

No doubt.

Well, I'll see everybody later.

I have a big decision to make between three shirts.

Another sleepless night.

All right, I'll say bye-bye, and thank you for the flowers.

And the scotch.

You know, I just realized I don't even know Flip anymore.

For the past ten years, I've either been
away playing basketball or at Yale.

Now the whole family is counting on me to
straighten them out.

Hey, Flip, where are you going with my car?

Hey, everybody, come on, sit up.

Hey, I'm good to see you.

Hey, all right, welcome.

How was school today, everybody?

Thanks.

Al Delvecchio, we know it's a place.

Al Delvecchio, Flip Phillips.

How you doing?

I know your brother, Roger.

Yeah?

Nice place you got here.

Thank you.

No pool table, huh?

No.

Got any beer?

No.

Why does anybody come here?

I haven't.

Why do people come here?

Hey, everybody, enjoy.

He's a great guy.

You're gonna love him.

Now, listen, what'd you think of Jefferson High?

You like it?

It's all right.

School is school.

It's really weird, though.

There's this girl who seems to be following me around.

I don't know.

Why, Flip?

It is Flip, isn't it?

Scoot down.

I'm Jenny Piccolo.

How'd you like to come over to my place
tonight and have a small, sheep-meaningless affair?

Flip, this is just your way of saying hi.

And wait till you see my way of saying, glad to see you.

What do you say, Flip?

Jenny, you don't even know me.

What's to know?

I love your brother, therefore I love you.

Not anything like my brother.

Uh, I'll be the judge of that.

Flip, what are you doing here?

Losing his heart.

Me.

You were supposed to meet with your
guidance counselor today?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

No big deal.

I'll see her tomorrow.

Listen, I made a promise you'd buckle down.

You'll see her now.

Let's move it, pal.

Yes, sir, Coach Phillips, sir.

Anything you say, sir.

Uh, listen, I'm sorry I had to air out our
dirty linen right here.

No, it's fine.

See you later.

All right.

Man, what's with him?

I don't know.

Isn't it obvious?

He can't bear to see me with another man.

Right.

Hey, thanks, ladies.

Hey, thanks, ladies.

My people.

My place.

Everybody happy?

Yeah.

You look great.

You look great.

I like that.

I like that.

I don't like that.

All right.

What is it?

Love of money?

Well, it's nothing like that, Fonz.

This is my little brother.

Hey.

Hey, very nice kid.

Met him down at school.

Why would your parents name him Leopold?

I don't know.

Better him than me.

You ain't worse than a big city.

Listen, Fonz, I don't understand him.

Sometimes he's nice and fun to be around, and other times
he's so irresponsible and undependable, like this morning.

He left the house without making his bed.

And you didn't sh**t him.

Fonz, it's more than that.

I made him an appointment with his guidance counselor.

He didn't show up.

Well, when I make an appointment,
I bust my britches to make it.

Oh, bust my britches.

I love that.

It's more than that.

I mean, the way I've got to figure it out,
our communication is being hampered by the

fact that my role as an authority figure precludes
an open discussion of his deep-seated anxieties.

Now, maybe if a less authoritarian role
model were to open a dialogue with him,

perhaps then we could resolve our difficulties.

What do you think, Fonz?

Yes?

Yes.

Math homework, huh?

You got it.

Why don't you factor out?

Why don't you?

Touchy, touchy.

I'll get that.

Don't move.

Why don't you do that?

Fonz!

What a surprise.

Fonz?

Keep going, Flip.

Listen, I have some papers to grade in my bedroom,
so why don't you two get better acquainted, huh?

See you in a bit.

So, uh, what's going on?

Oh, not much.

I take it this was Mr. Clean's idea.

Yeah, you brother, I think you thought that maybe we could
sh**t the breeze, you'd feel more comfortable talking to me.

What about?

Maybe he's coming down a little hard on you.

Well, I wouldn't say that.

I mean, he only Chucks under my nails and
behind my ears every day before I go to school.

He's a hygiene teacher.

It's in his blood.

Have you ever been here before, Fonz?

Actually, I've never been here before.

Come on, let me give you the grand tour.

I would like that, yeah.

Clean, clean, clean.

Yes, yes, yes.

Trophies.

Look, first place, first place, second place.

He was sick that week.

The kitchen.

Oh, this is very, very nice.

Nice?

Yeah.

It's more than nice, Fonz.

It's perfect.

This.

Look at this.

He divides his foods into four basic food groups.

All right, so he's into good eating.

I understand that.

I like my veggies, right?

Fonz, it's him.

He has a spice rack.

No, he doesn't.

No, I mean it.

He's got a spice rack.

All right, so he's a little fuss pot, you know?

I gotta tell you something.

I don't think that's really the problem here, do you?

No, it's not, Fonz.

So let's get down to it, all right?

Look, I guess what's really bothering me
is all the pep talks.

He's always told me to buckle down,
buckle under, buckle up.

If you could just get off my back.

If you could just let me go to the Fast Domino concert.

I have a concert on Saturday with all the other kids.

Well, we have to have a little talk with them, don't we?

Please do.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Roger.

Yes?

When you are finished with your hospital
corners, could I see you for a minute?

Well, men.

How are we getting along?

Who moved this?

Well, what's up?

Well, we were just having a little chat
here, and I have the feeling that maybe we

should let Flip go to that concert this Saturday.

Well, uh, yeah, okay, I guess so.

Oh, great.

Thanks, Rog.

Can I have the car?

I'm sorry.

I promised Aunt Mary and I'd pick her up
from her theater group on Saturday night.

Pick her up?

No problem, Rog.

I'll pick her up after the concert.

Okay.

Listen, Flip, why don't you make yourself
an extra set of keys?

That's okay, Rog.

I don't need keys to start the car.

What he means to say...

What he means to say, I'm sure, is that he
would love the keys because we trust him.

Love the keys, Rog.

You won't regret this, Fonz.

You won't regret this, Fonz.

Ha, ha, ha, cheers.

Ha, ha, ha, Mr. Glavin.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, Mr. Peterson.

Har, har.

h*, h*, TV Land.

Ha, ha.

h*, h*.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha.

Ha, ha.

h*, h*, he, he, he.

Cheers.

h*, h*, right here.

Ha, ha.

On TV, he, he, land.

Ha!

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Hey, Rog.

Had a great time.

Where have you been?

What is that on your shirt?

Spaghetti sauce.

Want some?

Spaghetti sauce?

What are you doing eating spaghetti sauce at a concert?

Oh, well, the concert was canceled,
so we ended up in an Italian restaurant.

What about Aunt Marion?

Was she there?

You were supposed to pick her up after the concert.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, did you?

Oh, sure.

Yeah, I took her right home.

Excellent.

You were very responsible tonight, and as a reward,
I'm going to take your miniature golfing tomorrow.

Miniature golf?

Wow.

Oh, God, please don't let me die tonight.

Marion, why didn't you knock?

I couldn't make a fist.

You're frozen stiff.

Now, don't talk.

You'll shatter your jaw.

Oh, I'm all right, Howard, really.

Here, come stand by the fire till you thaw out.

So, how was your evening?

Leopold didn't come and pick you up, right?

Oh, I stood outside the theater waiting for him.

Everybody else left.

And then I decided to call here, you
know, see if you could come and pick me up.

And then I remember that I left my wallet
on the night table.

Oh, you poor darling.

So you had to walk all the way home, huh?

Well, not yet.

There were two young ladies.

Two young ladies standing in a doorway nearby.

And they were just nice enough to loan me a dime.

So I called here several times,
but the line was always busy.

I'm sorry, honey.

I was talking to Bigelow.

Did he tell you about his wife and the gardener?

Gardener, yes.

Well, anyway, I thought there was a chance
that Flip might still show up,

so I just passed the time just chatting
with Trixie and Sugar.

The two girls in the doorway?

You know them?

No, no.

Well, anyway, oh, they were just so friendly.

They talked to every guy that went by.

Yes, I'm sure they did, Marion.

So after they left, then I started walking, so
here I am, and now I think I'll just get ready for bed.

Oh, no, no, no.

We're going right over to Rogers.

Oh, no, Howard.

I don't want to go anywhere.

It's just colder than a well digger's hat out there.

Well, you'll just bundle up, Marion.

Because Leopold is not going to get away with it.

Come on.

I want him to see what he did to you.

Where did you get that candy bar?

I bought it.

If you crave something nutritious,
I have cottage cheese in the refrigerator.

Who are you calling?

Aunt Marion.

Why?

Because I thought I'd ask them over for
dinner tomorrow night.

I don't understand it.

If you drove her home, why wouldn't they answer the phone?

They probably went to bed.

Flip, if they went to bed, why wouldn't
they answer the phone?

Think about it.

Oh.

I'll get it.

I want to talk to you.

No, no, no.

Aunt Marion, I'm really sorry.

I completely forgot.

You forgot?

Yeah, I figured Uncle Howard would pick Aunt Marion up.

Uncle Howard is going to pick you up.

Oh, wait a minute.

This is my responsibility.

I will take care of it.

Now, look, Roger, this just wasn't one of
those pranks he's always pulling on people.

Like, you know, like the time you had us
talk like this, remember?

So, how do you think he couldn't hear?

What?

Couldn't hear, dear, you couldn't hear.

Oh, the look on your face.

Marion, I'm trying to make a point here.

Right, right.

I don't think behavior like yours should go unpunished.

And I promise it won't.

Good.

I wanted him to see what he did to his Aunt Marion.

She couldn't even make a fist when she got home.

Well, I can now, Howard.

Hit him.

No, let's go, dear.

Good night.

Good night, all.

And, you know, tonight was not a total failure.

We got to know Flip better, and then I got
to meet Trixie and Sugar.

Oh, Marion, I don't want to talk about
them anymore tonight.

Well, that's all right, because we have plenty to
talk about tomorrow when they come for dinner.

Marion, I have to explain something to you.

You know, Flip...

Oh, you're lucky.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Chachi.

No, no, he's all right.

No, he's fine, so far.

Yeah.

Oh, well, thank you for calling.

Well!

Flipper, that was Chachi.

Says he was worried because he didn't show
up at the concert tonight.

Said you missed a great one there, pal.

Well.

Roger, I was sort of kidding around when I
said the concert was canceled.

Well, the fact is, I met some guys.

My kind of guys, you know?

Yeah, I know.

Hoodlums.

You know, I'm knocking myself out trying to
help you change, and you're not even trying.

Big deal.

Big deal?

What'd you come out here for?

It wasn't my idea.

Well, it's not a prison.

You don't have to stay, pal.

Fine, I won't.

I'll go back to New Jersey.

Well, take your dirty feet with you.

Oh, man, I can't wait to get back.

Good!

I've had it.

Well, I've had it with you.

I'll send you some furniture, Paul.

Good!

No!

No!

No!

Ha!

Oh.

Anyway,

Roger threw a major fit.

He got all bent out of shape because he
couldn't turn me into a perfect person.

Oh.

I still don't understand why you don't like basketball.

Well, that's it.

Take his side.

Hey, lighten up!

Flip, can I talk to you for a minute?

Can I talk to you alone for a minute?

Sure.

Excuse us.

I agree with him.

Jenny, I was just showing him the way.

Step, I'm really sorry that you're leaving.

Oh, thanks, Joanie.

Especially since you're leaving for such a lame reason.

What do you know about it?

Well, I got the whole thing figured out.

Oh, really?

I haven't seen you since I broke your tiny
tears doll and you got my life figured out.

What a real whiz kid.

Well, let me take a shot at it anyway.

All right.

When you were a little kid, you always
wanted to be like Roger.

Maybe.

Then you started to feel that you couldn't be
as good as he was, so you decided to be bad.

Am I warm?

Maybe.

You see, I understand about perfect older
brothers because I have one of my own.

Richie?

Yeah.

I did the same thing.

I broke curfew.

I played hooky.

I started to run around with a g*ng.

Oh.

And started smoking.

Really?

I was doing my best to become a real sleaze bucket.

Did you?

No.

I decided that it was really dumb to mess up my life
just because I thought people expected too much of me.

I'm being the best person I can be.

Well, that's all I had to say.

Thanks, Julie.

See you later.

Okay, put your stuff in the car.

We better get going.

Yeah, I guess we'd better.

Yeah, listen, Flip.

We don't know each other as well as brothers should.

I guess what happened was as much my fault as it was yours.

Sorry things didn't work out.

Well, I don't have to go back to New Jersey.

Does that mean you want to stay?

I don't know.

Do you want me to stay?

Well, I want you to stay if you want to stay.

Okay.

I want to stay if you want me to stay.

I want you to stay.

Me too.

Hey, what are you leaving without saying goodbye?

No, I decided to stay after all.

All right, I'll see you later.

Look, what made you change your mind?

What difference does it make?

I was just curious, that's all.

Do we have to fight about everything?

We don't fight about everything.

You're right.

Come on, drive your home.

Why can't I drive?

Because it's my car.

You drive too slow.

Well, I like to keep all four wheels on the ground.

I knew it.

I've got a hand.

I am.

What?

Animal magnetism.

He couldn't leave me.

And I've got just enough time to jump on
the back of their car.

Did you convince him to stay?

Yeah.

Really?

Uh-huh.

How'd you do that?

Well, I told him that I understand him and
I can relate to his problems.

Oh, your sleaze bucket story, right?

Right.

Come on.

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If everybody had an ocean across the USA then everybody'd
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One, two...

Hi, Fonz.

Who played a joke on a Fonz?

These are the days of my happy days
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