09x01 - Home Movies

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Hi, Rich.

Hi, Rich.

Sorry I haven't written in so long.

I know how you guys in the Army love to
get mail, even though it's from your kid sister.

Anyway, the reason why I
haven't written in so long is because.

Chachi and I went through a lot of rough times this summer.

And so much has happened to everyone that if I
tried to write in a letter, my fingers would fall off.

But I hit on this great idea.

During this summer, we took a lot of home movies.

So I thought I'd send them to you along with this tape.

So start the tape and the movie at the same time, okay?

Okay.

It was one of the hottest tunes I can ever remember, Rich.

But it didn't dampen Mom's spirits.

She was still up to her old shenanigans.

Dad really misses you.

Especially when it's time to cut the grass.

I wanted to have some fun and get a tan this summer.

But Dad made me get a job.

So we compromised.

I worked at the lake.

Oh, and Jenny Piccalo did, too.

She was up to her usual subtle ways of meeting guys.

And Cousin Roger got a job as a lifeguard.

And the girls were sure glad he did.

You'd think they never saw a guy in a bathing suit before.

He really loved his job.

Most of the time.

Oh, and you'll never believe who Dad hired
at the hardware store.

Potsie Weber.

I guess Mom can talk Dad into just about anything.

And then there was Chachi and me.

The summer started out great.

But by Labor Day, I wanted to wring his
squirmy little neck.

Oh, I'm really getting ahead of myself.

Maybe I should back up.

I guess I should back up.

I guess everything started the 4th of July.

Marion, turn the can.

Fire!

We got fire!

No, Marion, don't, don't.

Marion, you can't do that.

Marion!

Hi, everybody.

Hi.

Happy 4th of July.

Oh, Lori Beth.

Mom, Mom, I have something important to tell you.

We'll have to wait a minute, dear.

I've got to help Howard with the barbecuing first.

Now, keep this rolling, because if Howard goes up in
flames, I want to have something to remember him by.

Smile for the birdie.

That's nice.

Hi there.

Hi, everybody.

Happy Fourth of July.

Mama, you remember the Cunninghams and the
new Cunningham, Lori Beth?

Nice to see you again, Mrs. Delvecchio.

Mama's going to spend the whole summer with me.

Isn't that nice?

Well, have a nice time, huh?

You see my son, the Betty Grable?

Look, I'm a grown man.

I could wear shorts if I wanted to wear
shorts, and I want to wear shorts.

Fonz, I'm glad you're here.

Listen, I've got to tell you about a girl.

I met at the beach.

Her name's Corinne.

Hey, you're a lifeguard.

I know, but she's a lifeguard, too.

All right, just make sure you don't
take your eyes off those little kitties, huh?

She is so...

Fonz, what is this?

A skull and crossbones for a return address?

That's right.

This letter happens to be from my old g*ng, the Falcons.

Oh, yeah?

Am I crazy, or is that written in blood?

Of course it's written in blood.

That's tradition.

That's how you know it ain't junk mail, you know?

Look at this.

They're having their first reunion in 10 years.

You know, this should be interesting.

It's always nice to look back on one's social peer group
and see the changes over an extended period of time.

Yeah, well, it's also a very nice time to
see your old friends, you know.

Hey, listen, here's a snack, all right?

So, Fonzie, you gonna go?

I can't go.

I got too many responsibilities.

I got Arnold's, I got summer school class,
and car's building up at the garage all the time.

Well, why do the Falcons wait 10 years to have a reunion?

First time everybody's out of jail at once, you know.

Come on, everybody, dig in.

There is plenty of everything.

Mom, where's the ketchup?

Oh, dear.

Oh, just a second.

Oh, dear, because I've got to get some ketchup.

But this is important.

What is more important than ketchup?

But I'm going to have a baby.

I'm going to have a baby.

She's going to have a baby.

I'm going to have a baby.

I'm in my fourth month of fall.

Half a minute changed a lot.

Oh, God.

Howard, you're going to be a grandpa.

Howard, I'm not working tonight.

Yeah, me too.

Hi, guys.

Hi.

Hi, Mrs. von Hewney.

You're only packing them in tonight, huh?

Cunningham, I'm glad to see you.

Here, dump the trash, get an apron,
and get behind the counter.

You too, Piccolo.

But, boss, I'm off tonight.

Yeah, and I have malaria.

Look, you two get to work, or you can kiss
your jobs goodbye.

Well, I guess we have to, don't we?

Excuse me.

Stop the door, she said.

Guys, after all, this isn't attendance day, right?

All right, Chachi, listen.

I'm sorry, but don't be mad.

Why not?

I've been looking forward to this night for a week now.

What am I supposed to say, hippie,
Joanie's got to work tonight?

Is he eating?

No, I'm broke.

I'll get paid till Wednesday.

All right, you better go, okay?

And I promise that after work, I'll make it up to you.

All right?

Cunningham, save that for the customers.

What does she mean by that?

Nothing, nothing.

She's a sick woman, Chachi.

She's great.

I'm all alone.

I'm all on the 4th of July.

This can't be what the founding fathers had in mind.

Jenny, what am I gonna do about Chachi?

John's, I'm taking an order.

Hi, Crenn.

Hi.

Hey, listen, uh, tonight after the
fireworks, I thought maybe you and I could.

...

I'm afraid not.

Right, that wouldn't have been any fun anyway.

Look, what did I do to offend you?

Did I use your whistle by mistake,
or... No, I think you're very nice.

As a matter of fact, I find you terribly attractive.

You do?

Yeah.

But I'm training for the Olympics swimming team.

For the Olympics?

Wow, that's great.

I promised my coach no men.

I see a good-looking guy, and my mind goes wham-O.

Wham-O, bam-O.

Wham-O, bam-O.

All I can think of is kissing and hugging and... Hugging?

Touching.

Touching?

You know, what's so great about the Olympics?

I mean, if they were that great,
they'd have them every year.

Cute.

So are you.

But I did promise my coach no wham-O, bam-O.

Look, maybe I could train with you.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, come on.

The workouts are grueling.

I was born to gruel.

Look at me, I'm a terrific swimmer.

Come on.

I guess we could give it a try.

Great.

I think we should warm up first.

So when do you see me start with the lips?

Okay, then that's it.

Ow!

I'm gonna get my hands on the idiot who threw this.

Yeah.

Hey, who threw this?

Can I have my frisbee back, please?

Why, you want to finish me off?

I hit you?

Oh, I'm so sorry, are you hurt?

Yes.

Let me see.

It's nothing but a little bump.

I think he'll live.

I got hit by the ricochet.

She bought it!

Hey, uh, Chachi, why don't you make yourself scarce?

I'm ready to make my move now.

Hey, I'll see you around, guy.

And if anybody wants to know where I am,
make sure you tell them!

You never understand women.

She wants you.

Yeah, I know.

What am I gonna do?

Well, like you need to ask?

Chachi, an opportunity like this comes
along once in a lifetime.

Mine, anyway.

Go for it!

Well, I guess I should go over there and apologize to her.

I mean, I was kind of rude, don't you think?

I don't know.

Everybody talks to me like that.

I was rude.

I was rude.

A new fall season brings new reasons to come here.

TVLand endures.

You kiss a scrape to make it better.

You do a little dance to make the tears stop.

You've learned a million things to help your little one.

Like what to do with the first sign of diarrhea.

You give them Pedialyte.

Because soda and sports drinks can be so
high in sugar, they can make diarrhea worse.

Pedialyte has the proper balance.

The balance of fluid and electrolytes to
help prevent dehydration.

It's all part of a learning process that never ends.

But why would you want it to?

Use Pedialyte.

Love, love will keep us together.

Think of me, babe, whenever.

Some sweet talking girl comes along.

Sing it a song.

Dum-da-da-dum.

Dum-da-da-dum.

Lemon Twist V8 juice has a refreshing squeeze of lemon.

It's another way to get your full serving of vegetables.

Sometimes it's the only way.

Lemon Twist V8.

How do you get your teeth their very best clean?

The dentist.

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Plus other great Arm & Hammer products.

Call now.

Oh, you know, I think it's amazing.

We've both been teaching summer classes
for weeks and never bumped into each other.

Well, I think we're talking small world, big school plan.

Here's the question.

Can I get you something to drink before we
start or do you want to get right to it?

No, let's get right to it.

I got to tell you, I really appreciate
that you're helping me with these lesson

plans, you know, because they boggle my brain.

You laughing at me?

I mean, I understand, I don't get this, you
know, but... No, no, no, no, it's just when I...

When you said you had a lesson plan, I thought it was
just a cute way of saying you wanted to get me along.

I'm sorry, I'm so embarrassed.

Oh, no, no, be embarrassed.

You look beautiful in your blush.

I haven't seen a chick blush since, uh, 53.

We just started, you know, sitting with teachers
together, the rules, we couldn't play recess.

I'm very good at recess.

Very good at recess.

Listen, I gotta wait, we're not doing this stuff last year.

Better just, uh, get the Gary a see after.

Right?

You know, I heard a lot about you around school.

Of course you did.

You know, I, uh, boy, I really admire you.

What with owning two businesses and still
finding time to teach.

Yeah, well, you know what they say,
busy hands are happy hands.

Same with lips.

When I was a kid, I... You're a real talker, aren't you?

When I was a kid, I was a little wild.

I dated wild guys who did crazy things, but...

But now I'm ready for a lasting relationship
with a mature, responsible, normal guy.

Good luck to you.

I think I found him.

UN momento.

Did my ears deceive me, or did you
just... Did you say you thought I was...

Wonderfully normal.

Wonderfully... All right, who am I supposed to marry?

Anybody.

Probably your mama.

Oh, Jenny, it was so beautiful.

Chachi and I were up on Inspiration Point
for hours, and all we did was talk.

Talked?

Yeah.

Well, you see, that's the difference
between you and me, Joanie.

Give me a piece of beefsteak like Chachi,
and he wouldn't have the strength to talk.

Oh, Joanie, don't look now.

Here comes my cousin Carla, the tr*mp.

Why, Jen-Jen and Joan-Joan.

What a Marvie surprise.

Marvie.

Oh, Terry, I'd like you to meet my cousin
Jen-Jen and her little playmate, Joanie.

They're inseparable, like sweets and pimples.

Why don't you make one?

I'm a train lathe.

Every little thing at Jefferson High.

You go to Jefferson High, you wouldn't by any
chance know a doll named Chachi Arcola, would you?

Do we know Chachi Arcola?

Boy, how well we do know Chachi Arcola.

Marvie, you'll just have to let me know
where I can get a hold of him.

I was with him Fourth of July night.

We had the most Marvie time.

This could get ugly.

Praise Arcola!

All right, before you blow your top,
she doesn't mean a thing to me.

It was purely a physical attraction.

It didn't come out right.

I was going to tell you.

When?

Right after we were married.

Maybe one day we could be, but not anymore.

Goodbye, Chachi.

Well.

Like I said, Richie, this wasn't the most wonderful summer.

The only one who seemed content was Lori
Beth and her not-so-little friend.

She thought she was so fat, but we thought
she looked beautiful.

And Mama and I were a little worried about Dad.

He just wasn't his usual chipper self.

He seemed more interested in the sports
page than anything else.

As for me, after Chachi and I broke up,
well, I've never been more miserable in my life.

And Chachi, well, the only thing that made my life
bearable was I heard he was even more miserable than I was.

See?

Hello, Johnny.

Mom, I'm not here.

Whatever you say, dear.

She's not here.

I know she's here.

I followed her home.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Chachi, but you have been a very bad boy.

I can't let you in.

No, please, Mrs. C, look, I just made a very small mistake.

Is Mr. Physical Attraction still down there?

Yes, well, you just made it.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I can play rough, too.

I want my Letterman sweater back.

Fine.

I was hoping you'd ask.

Here.

I accidentally threw it in the fireplace and it got burned.

This is my sweater?

Uh-huh.

Good.

Fine.

Goodbye, Chachi.

I just want you to know that I think you're really
the nicest boy that Joanie ever brought home.

Too bad you blew it.

End this year and begin the next with two TV Land events.

On New Year's Eve, say goodbye with Last Things
Last, a day-long marathon of classic final episodes.

I might well get going too soon.

Then, make a new start on New Year's Day
with First Things First, a day of first episodes.

A short time ago, this woman was limited by her mobility.

A month ago, this man wasn't even able to
get around his house.

These are people who chose freedom over
restrictions, independence over limitations.

They chose mobility.

They chose the scooter store.

And this is a team of mobility.

Experts that made it all happen.

Great news.

You've been approved for payment.

Dr. Cruz, I'm calling on behalf of Marie Stanford.

And they can make it happen for you.

If you're living with limited mobility,
call the scooter store today.

I promise no other company will work hard to make
you mobile or do more to guarantee your total satisfaction.

I expected they'd help me file some
paperwork with Medicare and my insurance.

I never expected them to be so nice or to work
so hard to get me a power chair at no cost to me.

Call today.

Call today and let the scooter store work for you.

If we pre-qualify you for a new scooter or
power chair and Medicare denies your

claim, the scooter store allows you to
keep your scooter or power chair at no cost.

That's the scooter store guarantee.

You don't qualify for Medicare?

No problem.

We'll work with your insurance company,
even help with financing.

If there's a way, we'll find it.

When they delivered Mom's power chair, I
expected they'd show her how to use it once or twice.

That man stayed for hours.

You can just tell they care.

Whatever it takes, as long as it takes,
that's our guarantee.

Why do we go to such great lengths?

Because making you mobile is our mission.

We'll work with your doctor, we'll work
with Medicare, and your private insurance.

We'll even service your scooter anywhere in the country.

So call the scooter store today.

Find out what great lengths the scooter
store will go to for you.

Improve your mobility and your life.

Call 1-800-537-9600 for your free,
no-obligation information from the scooter store.

Call to find out if you pre-qualify for a
brand new power chair or scooter.

That number again is 1-800-537-9600.



While most people with mobility problems
are having trouble just getting around,

at age 92, Joy Cullison's out seeing the world.

Now I'm free to see the world.

You're looking at the HoverRound, the
world's most advanced power mobility chair.

The HoverRound allows me the freedom to...

live on my own and not depend on somebody else.

It's round for a reason.

HoverRound's unique round design provides
amazing maneuverability.

One-touch driving, speed control, and
automatic braking make it safe and easy to drive.

It disassembles or easily attaches to a standard lift.

It even elevates to extend your reach.

And if you qualify like Juanita, you'll say... With
Medicare and our supplement, it didn't cost a dime.

Not one dime.

Call our mobility specialist now for a
free evaluation and free hover-on video.

Declare your independence.

The next time, I'm going to the Grand Canyon.

Before you knew it, Richie, it was the beginning of
August, and Chachi and I were still at each other's throats.

I don't know.

Maybe I was stubborn.

But the more Chachi tried to woo me back,
the tougher I got.

Dad was still baseball crazy, and he even
took me to a doubleheader with the Cardinals.

I caught a home run by some guy named Stan the Man.

Roger was still after Corrine.

Unfortunately, he had about as much
success on land as he did in the water.

And Fonzie was trying real hard not to be normal.

I.

Think the plans will be.

I think we're talking about my life here.

I had one dad.

Mr. C, look at me, will you?

Do you see a man of misery here?

My life is not going the way I planned it.

You know, one morning I wake up and I got all
these responsibilities that cover me like mosquito bites.

That's the way life is, Fonz.

You know, I mean, one day you wake up and
you got your whole life ahead of you.

Next day you wake up, you're dead.

Yeah.

You know, life is a lot like a baseball game.

I mean, you spit on your hands and you
step up to the plate.

And before you know it, the count is three and two.

And the old curveball of life is coming
right down the pipe.

And you can hear the ball smacking into the catcher's mitt.

And the big umpire in the sky saying, you're out.

Do you have plenty of beers in the sun?

Can this nickel a beer day or what?

You hang on to your youth as long as you can.

You're only young once.

You gotta make it last your whole life.

Admit it.

Admit it, you're right.

I can beat it, you're right.

The Fonz can beat time.

Okay.

Okay, I don't need all these responsibilities.

From now on, I'm gonna do what I wanna do
when I wanna do it, you understand?

Good, thanks.

The reunion.

I'm going to the Falcons reunion.

I'm gonna show them.

The Fonz never changes.

The Fonz never changes.

What?

Still can't put anything over on you.

Rocko.

Right.

Hey, how you doing?

You look great, Fonz.

You haven't changed a bit.

Yeah, well, you went a wide tamper with perfection, man.

Great to see you.

Been a long time.

Yeah.

Fonz, how about it?

Can I?

Huh?

Can I?

All right, all right, all right, take your best shot.

This guy, man, you just can't hurt this guy.

Yeah, that's right.

Look who's here.

It's your old chick, Hillary.

From here, she looks great.

What do you want?

I want you to stop joking me.

That's Hillary.

Fine.

Come here.

How you doing, Hillary?

I forgot why I haven't seen you for a while.

Looking good, huh?

You're cute, cute.

Oh, we logged a lot of miles together, huh?

Yeah.

We rode on your bike a lot, too.

That's what I meant.

Warmongers, it's that dirty cheap bum.

And wouldn't you know, Johnny Suede is with her.

All right, all right, watch it.

What's going on over here?

What do you think I got a parking lot out there for, huh?

Get this thing out of here.

Come on, scoot, scoot, scoot.

Ah, what's the matter, pups?

This here's a drive-in, isn't it?

Yeah, tire marks all over the floor where
my mother cleaned.

I'll give you a drive-in.

Get off that bike.

First of all, go back.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, sir.

I'll take care of this, all right?

All right, okay.

Fonz, I'm just tired of being pushed around.

I understand you.

Another thing.

If I don't want to get married, I won't get married.

Now, you got that straight?

Yeah.

Yeah, fine.

Good.

The warmongers all figure we got some old scores to even.

We invite you to settle up.

No weapons.

In one hour.

That is, if you guys are still Turkey.

Let's ride.

Come on, backer.

Let's go.

Move out of the way.

Come on.

Come on, backer.

Get up.

I got two hours.

You heard him?

Are we ready?

I don't know.

Let's go.

It feels so right.

It can't be wrong.

Next up on TV Land, game show host Monty Marshall is played
by Christopher Knight's real-life dad, actor Edward Knight.

Well, Chris must have been a real player on that set.

What pull.

Stay tuned for Brady Bunch number 94.

You can't win them all.

These are yours and mine, happy days.