04x17 - Second Chorus

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray and,
as Bub, William Frawley.

Now jump me.

I prefer not to.

It's the rules of the game.

You gotta jump me, so jump me.

How do I get in that position?

Three games.

Now do you want to play for Tuesday's dishes?

Why don't we change the stakes?

I'm getting dishwater hands.

Night, Dad.

I'm going over to Ernie's now.

Yeah, I know.

Bub told me.

Hey, it's Saturday night.

Aren't you going out?

No, I'm staying right here.

I have a thing to do.

Do you want me to drive you over to Ernie's?

No, Rob's gonna do that.

Oh, well, have a good time.

Okay.

Night.

Night.

What are you guys doing?

Playing checkers?

No, sit down shuffleboard.

We went away to spend Saturday night.

I'll see you later, Dad.

Yeah, get home on time.

I'll be home by 12.

You better be.

I'll see you guys.

See you.

Well, I'm on my way, Dad.

Oh, where are you and Sally going tonight?

Movie.

We may stop at the Top Hat later, though.

They have a new singer there.

Oh?

Anything you want before I leave?

Yeah, throw me one of those pillows over
there, will you, Mike?

Sure.

Dad?

Bub?

Oh, I got a built-in pillow.

Aren't you going out on Saturday night?

So I've been told.

Well, I have to say I'm staying right here at home.

Okay.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, Mike.

Good night.

Boy, you'd think it was a crime to stay
home on a Saturday night.

Well, it's your move.

Bub, I think I've had enough checkers.

You're just too good for me.

Well, how about a nice, snappy little game of Old Maid?

Well, if you don't mind, I think I'll read
a while and then turn in.

I don't mind.

And I'll finish up out in the kitchen.

Want me to help you?

Nope.

tr*mp, how come you're just lying around here?

It's Saturday night.

Don't you know that?

You'll get the lights, won't you?

I'll turn them off, Bub.

Look, I hate to impose, old boy,
but could I sit in my chair?

Would you mind?

Thank you.

All right, change your mind.

You want to go out after all, huh?

Okay.

On your leash.

Don't surround the park when that does it.

If you're speaking of tr*mp, yes.

Well, you've got a lot of nerve letting up
whatever that is off the leash.

Well, I assure you this... Whatever it is
would never harm that, or whatever it is.

This happens to be a pedigreed French
poodle, and she's a lady.

And this happens to be a...

Well, anyway, he's a gentleman.

Gentlemen do not chase ladies through the bushes.

Let that be a lesson to you, tr*mp.

Come on.

When last seen, the lady was headed that-a-way.

She was chasing the gentleman.

Well, she's never done this before.

I...

Well, she's probably never met a gentleman
like tr*mp before.

We apologize.

Oh.

tr*mp?

tr*mp?

I know it's none of my business,
but isn't it a little late for a young

lady like you to be walking around this park alone?

This is early for me.

I'm on my way to work.

Oh, where do you work?

The top half.

It's a nightclub.

Well, isn't that a coincidence?

My son was talking about going there tonight.

What do you do?

I'm a bouncer.

You see, tr*mp, that old Douglas tr*mp of
yours can get you into trouble.

It was just one of those things.

Just one of those crazy things.

One of those bells of now.

Just one of those nights.

Just one of those fabulous flights.

A trip to the moon on got some more wings.

It was one of those things.

Had we thought a bit about the end of it
when we started painting the town,

we'd have been aware that our love affair.

Was too hot not to cool down so goodbye dear and
amen here's hoping we meet now then it was great.

Hey there's dad.

Well mind if I join you no hi well you're
the last person I expected to see I bet

you were home in bed asleep by now on Saturday night
Gee, it's too bad you had to miss the show, Mr. Douglas.

Well, I caught the last part of it.

What's her name?

Susan.

Susan Duvall.

Well, hello.

Hi, I saw you come in.

I thought I'd drop by and watch you bounce.

Sit down, won't you, Mr. Duvall?

Susan.

Sit down.

Nice surprise.

I'm Steve Douglas, and this is Sally Morrison.

Hi.

Sally is Mike's fiancee, and this is my son, Mike.

How do you do?

Mike.

Susan Duvall.

That has to be French, doesn't it?

My father was French, but my mother was Kansas.

How did France and Kansas get together?

Well, my mother was studying art in Paris, and
she came back with a degree and a professor.

Oh, love at first sight, huh?

Second sight.

The first time they met, nothing.

But the second time, zut alors.

Zut alors.

How large a family do you have, Steve?

Well, I have three sons.

And Bub.

And Bub.

Bub, he's my father-in-law.

A real collector's item.

Bub takes care of the whole family, Mr. Vaughn.

There's no Mrs. Douglas?

No.

I, uh, I was kind of surprised to see Dad here tonight.

When I left the house, he was all set for
the evening, playing checkers.

Checkers?

Well, I was just keeping Bub company.

They play to see who'll do the dishes.

Really?

Oh, yes.

Dad, remember the time you lost an old maid?

Mike, why don't you and Sally dance?

No, uh, maybe later, Dad.

Where I'll be.

Would you like to dance, Steve?

Yes.

Oh, careful of your back, Dad.

I think.

Your father's impressed with Mr. Vaughn, Mike.

I mean, really impressed.

Hey, he's too sensible.

He's just being polite.

What do you think brought him here tonight?

I don't know.

But maybe, maybe he couldn't sleep.

I think he came here to see her.

And zut alors.

Boy, that'll be dragging this morning.

Yeah, you'll really be whipped.

Good morning, all.

Morning, Steve.

How many flapjacks can you have?

Well, no flapjacks, Bub.

I'm just going to have some coffee.

I just ate a few hours ago.

So I hear.

Here.

Dad, is that my good tie?

Yeah.

Is it all right if I wear it now that I have it on?

Sure.

You know, for some reason or other,
my ties look so drab this morning.

Well, Dad, isn't that a little loud for you?

And young?

I feel young, Mike.

Well, if you feel that young, why don't
you let me get you a date?

I already have a date, thank you.

Susan and I are driving out into the country.

Oh, where?

Well, she's putting up a picnic lunch, and I thought
we'd drive over to the lake, find some secluded spot.

Oh.

Well, I thought maybe you and I could talk
about a wedding date, then.

Yours and Sally's, I presume.

Yeah.

Well, Mike, I don't think long engagements are too
wise, but on the other hand, you don't want to rush into it.

We'll talk about it, huh?

Rob, would it be all right if I borrowed
your transistor today?

Yeah, you might as well.

You've got my tie.

Now, Dad, the battery's a little low,
so don't play it too long.

Okay.

Mike, would you trade cars with me?

You want mine?

Yeah, Susan likes to ride with the top down,
and that station wagon top's a little hard to get off.

Hey, well, I guess I'd better be going.

Will you be home for dinner?

No, I won't be home.

I'll probably go down to the club and
watch the show again, and they're having a

little jam session after the show, so I might even sit in.

Careful with the car, Dad.

Don't drive too fast.

I won't.

And remember what I said about my transistor.

Yeah, I'll remember.

You know, I could have sworn I... What are you looking for?

My hat.

You're standing right under it, Dad.

Oh, well, I'll see ya.

See what I mean?

Yeah.

I just hope that battery doesn't run down.

I just...

Oh, dear, the moon may be high, but
I can't see a thing in the sky, cause I.

...

Father doesn't look like he's suffering to me, Mike.

But he can't keep it up, Mr. Vaughn.

Don't you see you're just too young for him?



That's not too young, is it?

No, that's just the right age.

Candy, Robbie?

Oh, well, thank you, Mr. Ball.

Mike?

No, thanks.

What do you know, my favorite kind, a candied orange.

Well, now, you were saying?

Hmm?

About your father.

Oh, well, Dad likes candied orange, too.

Rob, for Pete's sake.

I know, so do I.

He sent it this evening.

Mr. Ball, my father is a very impulsive man.

Delightfully so.

He likes people, especially good-looking girls.

And I'll bet good-looking girls like your father, too.

They sure do.

After all, Mike, you can't always measure
a person's age by the number of years.

True, I'm only 28.

But I feel a lot older.

Maybe it's because I've been working ever
since I can remember.

I was dancing professionally when I was
seven and singing in nightclubs when I was 16.

And I went to New York and sang in a couple of shows.

And then there were road shows and summer stock.

And then more nightclubs.

What?

You sure must have piled up the Social Security.

Why don't you have another one of those candied oranges?

All right, thanks, Mike.

How about you?

But, like every girl, I dreamed of getting
married, having a home of my own.

Getting married?

Of course.

Girls do, you know.

That's swell, Mr. Ball.

Who's the lucky guy?

Dad?

Robbie!

Well, Mike, Dad's got to get married someday.

Robbie's right, Mike.

I think your dad should be married.

I think he gets very lonesome.

Mr. Ball, are you planning on marrying my father?

I never think about the future.

I live for today.

And today is... It is lovely and
exciting and beautiful and romantic.

Five minutes, Mr. Ball.

Thank you, Tommy.

And that's the story of my life.

Someone is always saying, five minutes, Mr. Ball.

Would you like to see the show as my guest?

Sure, I'd love to.

No, thank you, Mr. Ball.

We'd better be getting home.

Mike, why can't we see the show?

Come on, it's getting late.

You know something?

You know something, Mike?

You're older than your father.

Good night, Mr. Ball.

We saw the show, didn't we?

Yeah, but she probably would have given us
ringside seats if you just would have said so.

Hey, Bub, where are you going?

Yeah.

Your dad phoned and asked me to pack his suitcase.

Oh, is he going on a business trip?

I don't know.

He said something about taking Mr. Ball.

What?

What?

It doesn't sound like business to me.

They're eloping.

That's what it is.

Who's eloping?

Well, Dad and Mr. Ball.

My gosh.

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

Mike.

Top Hat, may I speak to Mr. Ball, please?

This is an urgent call.

Mike.

Bub.

Oh, well, um, could you give me her hotel number?

Bryant Park, 2215.

Thank you.

May I speak to Miss Susan Duvall, please?

Checked out.

Uh, when?

Oh.

No.

No, thank you.

What?

She checked out, and a man came and picked her up.

That'd be Dad.

Wait a minute.

He has to stop here and pick up his suitcase.

Right.

So?

Bub, we've got to talk to Dad.

What about?

About getting married.

He doesn't know what he's doing.

No.

Well, if he doesn't know about that... If he doesn't
know about the birds and the bees by now, he's in trouble.

Bub, no jokes.

This is serious.

Now, we've got to stop Dad.

Yeah.

Are you two guys worried about your dad or yourselves?

Ourselves?

Sure.

You've got the picture of the ideal father,
and you're trying to keep him that way.

Bub, he is our father.

And he's also a human being.

A normal, healthy, human being.

Yeah, but she's only 28 years old, Bub.

Does a father have to be a cross between
Whistler's mother and the Rock of Gibraltar?

He's not just the man in the big chair with
the slippers and the pipe and all the answers.

He's spent a lot of years raising you guys
and giving up a lot of things that he wanted to do.

Is that what I've been preserving?

The wise old gentleman.

Always there to protect us.

Oh, hi, boys.

Hi, Dad.

Bub got me all packed, huh?

Yeah.

Sorry to rush off like this, but the plane
leaves in a half hour.

Kind of unexpected.

Oh, that's okay.

We understand.

Is Mr. Ball with you?

Yeah, she's waiting out in the car.

Could you tell us where you're going, Dad?

Oh, sure, sure.

I was going to write it down for you.

I'm going to Florida.

Oh.

Gee, the weather ought to be great this time of year, Dad.

Yes, it'll be nice down there.

Maybe Sally and I will go there on our honeymoon.

Oh, it's a wonderful place for a honeymoon.

Here, I'll just leave the address in there for you.

Okay.

A little money, credit card.

We like Mr. Valdad.

Oh, I'm glad you do.

All right.

Wish you luck, Dad.

Oh, thanks, Mike.

Me too, Dad.

Well, thanks.

Well, I guess I've got everything.

Yeah, how about some rice, Dad?

Yeah.

Oh, they'll serve dinner on the plan.

Rice?

What's a honeymoon without rice?

Yeah, and old shoes.

Yeah.

Who's going on a honeymoon?

Aren't you?

I guess I have been a little absent-minded
lately, mostly from lack of sleep, but what gives?

Aren't you and Miss Duvall eloping?

You don't really think I'd get married without
talking it over with you fellas first, do you?

Well, Dad, you're old enough to make your own decisions.

Now, look, Miss Duvall and I have had a
lot of fun this past week.

I don't think I could take another week of
it, but I wouldn't have missed it for anything.

Now, she's riding out to the airport with me.

She's taking a plane to New York to start
rehearsals for a show.

I'm taking a plane to Florida.

I'm going on a business trip.

Yeah, Dad.

I'll see you.

Yeah.

Goodbye, Dad.

Oh, Rob, here's your transistor.

I put some new batteries in.

The old batteries wore out.

Well, have a good trip, Dad.

Bye.

Jump me.

I don't want to jump you.

You jump me.

Now, you said that was the rule.

You jump me.

This is the first game I have won in three weeks.

That man in can't move.

Now, set him up again.

No, no, no.

I've had enough.

I think I'll read the paper and then hit the sack.

Yeah, I guess I'll read a little too, then.

Good night.

Good night, Bub.

Good night.

I know it's Saturday night, tr*mp, but, uh... Hello.

Come on.

Once around the park and that'll...

I'll tell you, tr*mp, on second thought, why
don't you just run around the house a few times?

If not, then you want to get back in, huh?

Coming up later, we'll award you an Oscar and a
Tony in an Emmy-winning show, The Odd Couple.

Catch back-to-back episodes starting at
noon, 9 Pacific, right here on TV Land,

the Rewatchability Network.

♪♪♪♪.