04x10 - The Ever-Popular Robbie Douglas

[bunniefuu]

My three sons are in France.

Honestly, Danny, the things you say.

Hi, Amber.

Oh, hi, Jim.

I'll take him.

No, Rob.

Rob Douglas is my name.

Well, I'm saving that seat for Ken Brownell.

Wake up, Douglas.

You don't get to sit next to Amber
Anderson unless you're a wheel.

And you aren't even a spoker.

Well, Candy, I thought you'd be there today.

That'll be the day.

Amber, I wanted to ask you, I'm... Don't strain yourself.

She doesn't even know you're alive.

Jim.

Hey, uh, suppose you have a speech
prepared for the election.

Well, I... Nice.

Jen.

Oh, I didn't... If you do, it won't be with my vote.

Well, thanks a lot.

Just being realistic, what would you ever do for me?

Amber, I wondered if you... Good
morning, ladies and gentlemen.

The first order of business today is the election
of the student who will represent you in the.

...

Now, we have two aspirants for this high
office, Rob Douglas and Alan Wheeler.

We shall hear first from Mr. Rob Douglas.

As you all know, I'm running for student
council representative and, well,

I hope you'll vote for me because I'd like...

I'll work real hard and go to all the meetings and stuff.

I guess that's about it and I hope you'll vote for me.

Thank you.

Brilliant.

Now, our second candidate, Alan Wheeler.

Fellow students, I wish to assure you
that, if elected, I intend to work hard

for improved study room facilities and I
shall make it part of my platform to work

towards achieving this end as well as investigating
the possibilities of the future of the university.

For an alumni scholarship, I need students who
do not have the finances to continue schooling.

Thank you.



Don't rub salt in the wound.

You should have voted for yourself.

Somebody only got two.

Somebody nominated you and somebody had to second you.

Our elections don't... They just decide to
run if... But, uh... But somebody voted for me.

Hi.

Well, the button... How'd it go, Rob?

Fair.

He got slaughtered.



Well, it was close.

Next time, it'll be different.

Next time?

Yep, I've just decided to run for class president.

Class president?

What are you, a glutton for punishment?

Well, I have to get elected.

Something's, uh... Something's come up.

Something, huh?

What's her name?

It's, uh... Amber Anderson.

She, uh... Stop.

Well, what a girl that leans toward the nothing type.

What does he want to do?

Uh, he...

Well, he, he does the things that presidents of classes do.

Well, there's an explanation for you.

How in the Sam Hill do you expect
anybody... Well, now, what's wrong with a kid?

Well, you're not that likable.

You're more of a, well, an acquired taste, like eggplant.

Look, Rob.

I'm just giving you the cold, hard facts.

You don't know anything about being class president.

You don't have any, any platform,
any campaign, or any supporters.

Nothing.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Rob, you got a... Didn't you?

Well, so did Abraham Lincoln the first
time he ran for office.

Oh.

What I need is an angle.

What did Lincoln do?

What's all the production about?

If you want to go out with a girl,
call her up on the phone and ask her out.

But she doesn't even know I'm alive.

I've got to do something big so she'll notice me.

Rob, did you ever hear the
saying, the best man always... Yeah?

You tell him, Bub.

Tell him what?

Tell him the best man always wins.

The best man doesn't always win.

Great.

I went.

Playing golf with the chairman of the board.

Dad works straight through dinner.

You're all right.

But how do you beat a set...

Well, how do you beat a set up like what?

At Friday.

Now, here's a guy like that.

And then along comes some back-slapping,
golf-playing personality kid.

Personality?

That's my angle.

I don't have any personality.

That's all these elections are.

They're just popularity contests.

I'll develop a new personality and become popular.

Irresistible.

You won't know me.

Well, I sure won't.

Well, personality.

Personality.

I'd like to check these out, if you please, ma'am.

I'm sorry.

Only permitted to check out.

Well, now, you and I know that there are rules and rules.

But I felt sure that a lovely young lady
like yours is an exception.

I'm afraid not.

Please.

Amber.

Hi, Bill.

No, I'm Robbie.

Robbie Douglas.

Hey, did I tell you I'm running for class president?

Gee, that's swell.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Here, let me take this.

Here.

That's mine.

Oh, here, I have it.

Thank you, Bill.

One second, Amber.

I'll...

I'll take a few of these back.

Psychology of popularity.

How to win friends.



I'll, uh, I'll take how to develop a new
personality, and that's my way to success back.

Well, why don't we make an exception this time?

It's as you said, there are rules and rules.

Yeah, well, well, thanks.

You know, I was just scanning through these a
little, and, uh, I guess they're already starting to work.

Party Platter.

And go overboard.

Well, well, well, if it isn't Chip.

Who was it supposed to be?

No, you're Chip Darby.

How about letting your... If it's
my doll you want, I'll receive it.

Look at this family.

Everybody's so suspicious.

Well, well, well.

Good old... You're doing a fine job, boy.

Just a fine job.

I got that.

Hi.

How you doing?

Well, I'm checking data on this new alloy
for the cargo airline job.

If we can use it, we should be able to
shave about 6% off the cost.

Not bad.

How would that compare with the other bid?

Well, golfingly speaking, I'd say...
Well, maybe one stroke under par.

Well, hello there.

Working hard, I see.

I was getting the habit.

Did you finish your homework?

Ah, yes, all finished, thanks.

But let's not talk about me, Dad.

Let's talk about you.

Tell me, Dad, Dad, how's it going?

It'll give them a tussle, anyway.

It's rough, though, isn't it?

Oh, yes, Dad, I know exactly how you feel.

You do?

Well, that's comforting to know.

You know, Dad, what most of us don't
realize is that we can be our own worst enemy.

Now, listen, Smiling Jack, why don't you just ooze
yourself upstairs before you dazzle us to distraction?

Oh, amusing, isn't he?

Lovely joker.

Take care.

Is he all right, Bub?

I noticed before dinner he seemed to be,
well, gnashing his teeth a lot.

No, no, no, that's just his new friendly grin.

Chapter eight, you know.

Smile your way to popularity.

If I smile a little crooked, I get this
little dimple right here.

Hey, uh, Chip, uh, look at this.

Hey, Chip, take a look, huh?

What do you think?

Hmm, looks like somebody put glue in your toothpaste.

You know, the trouble with trying my charm out
on this family is that everybody's too used to me.

What I need is somebody who'd look at me
through fresh eyes.

Somebody who'd be a sort of a Cape
Canaveral testing ground for the new me.

The hardest thing is smiling and talking at the same time.

Rob, Chip.

Chip, somebody get the door.

Chip, why don't you go?

I think that you sort of have to part your
teeth while you breathe.

Oh, no.

What's the matter, Chip?

It's the creep of the week.

The who?

Wendell Burgess.

Robbie calls him the creep of the week.

Happy week.

Well, creep or no creep, Chip,
but don't let him stand out there.

Ask him what he wants.

Okay.

Hi, Wendell.

Is Robbie home?

I'm not sure, but I can go ask him.

He's home, Wendell.

Just come in, will you?

Chip will go up and tell him you're here.

Wendell, I'm Robbie's father.

Come on home, huh?

Well, thank you, Mr. Douglas.

I'm sure Robbie will be down in a minute.

Oh, to tell you the truth, I'll tell him
I've got a career or something.

Dad already told me you'd be right down.

How am I supposed to develop my
personality with Sando Bird?

That's him.

Burgess.

He's my keeper.

Wendell!

Wendell, great to see you, old man.

Great.

Well, well, long time no see, huh?

Oh, I saw you three hours ago in math class.

Dad, you remember Wendell, don't you?

I'm always talking about you at home.

What a real plus you are to the class.

Huh?

You see, I just heard some terrific jokes.

Did you hear the one about the snail who
ran the 100-yard dash in a year and a half?

That one, huh?

I wanted to know if I could borrow your math book.

Say no more.

It's my pleasure.

And if you'd like some help with the
assignment, I'd be delighted, Wendell.

You're welcome.

Here, old friend, take it and keep it as long as you want.

Well, thanks.

I appreciate it.

You're welcome.

Well, you are a last resort.

I really didn't expect you even to be decent about it.

Well, thanks a lot.

Sure.

Now, look, what else are friends for, huh?

Well, say, I guess that's right.

That's for sure.

Anything, anytime.

You know, just whistle.

Just want to shake your hand, old buddy.

Goodbye, buddy.

Bye.

We'll see you later now, Wendell.

Did you see that?

I'm dynamite.

Did you see the way he looked at me,
the way he shook my hand at?

I really impressed him.

And that's the answer for you, too, Dad.

Here you are, beating your
brains out over all this paperwork,

and what good did you just saw what happened with Wendell?

What's to do is develop a new personality,
make this golfing character fade into insignificance.

I appreciate your interest, but... Exactly.

I appeal to you because I'm showing real
concern for your problem.

Now, Dad, you've got to fight fire with fire.

I agree.

Absolutely.

But it seems to me you're overlooking a
very effective form of fire, doing a good job.

No.

No, Dad.

No, the world just doesn't work that way.

I mean, look at Abraham Lincoln before he grew a beard.

As I recall, Abraham Lincoln made a few
other contributions along with the beard.

Honest, hard work does have value.

If you concentrated on the obligations and responsibilities

of the job you're going after,
it just might prove worthwhile.

Dad, I respect your attitude.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

But facts are facts, and you saw the results.

The new Robbie Douglas has just checked
out A-OK, and it's time for Blast Off.

Damn, stop it!

Keep in touch.

Hiya, buddy.

What's the good word, Woodward?

Hello, Mr. Chambers.

Nice to see you.

Oh, hello, Douglas.

I sincerely hope you're feeling at the top of your form.

Top of my form?

Yes, sir.

I'm feeling fine, Douglas.

How are you?

In the pink.

Pleasure seeing you, sir.

Nice to see you, Robbie.

Top of my form?

I sure appreciate you helping me with my math, Rob.

But I got a 50.

When I do it myself, I usually pass.

Wonderful, buddy.

You don't know how sorry I am.

That's not a chance.

Oh, say, that's a deal.

Sure enough.

Oh, honestly, the things he says.

Oh, here comes Robbie now.

Isn't he a scream lately?

He's so different from the way he used to be.

You should have seen him with Helen's the other night.

We were hysterical.

Robbie.

Where did you get that card?

There was no time.

I got my Adam's apple caught in a revolving door.

Robbie, who's he?

Oh.

And if elected, I will strive to show our
elders that we as junior citizens can

govern ourselves in a serious and responsible
manner, which reflects credit upon our generation.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now, we should hear from my other candidates.

Candidate, the ever-popular Robbie Douglas.

Thank you, Mr. Chambers, and hello, fellow inmates.

This is Rob.

Show me an office, and I'll run for it for
you, junior citizen.

Now, you can say anything you want about the
shape of the world, then, but at least it isn't square.

Thank you.

Junior citizen, you know what that is?

With saddle shoes.

Now, I just wanted to say it's good to be here at
Bryant Park, America's first maximum security high school.

I understand that next year they're changing the grading
system to F for failing, P for passing, and E for escape.

Now, I'm not a graduate, but we three
seniors went on social security.

Social security under 20, it's called an allowance.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, Rob.

How'd it go?

Once fine.

Just left a meeting where they made their
decision on the cargo job.

What happened?

They picked by design.

No kidding.

You, uh... I beat them.

At least somebody would...

Oh, that's right.

You, uh...

You had your election today.

How'd you come out?

I was annihilated.

Well, that's too bad, Rob.

You were right.

The guy did all this work and research on
what the class wanted.

Talked about the things he was gonna do for us.

I just cracked jokes like I was running for mayor.

A funny vote.

Well, maybe next time you...
There's not gonna be a next time, Dad.

I didn't care about getting elected anyway.

I just wanted to impress Amber.

Well, that was it.

Well, in that case, I'd say the final
results aren't in yet.

Well, sure they are.

She didn't even vote for me.

Well, as I get it, you didn't want her vote.

You wanted to date with her, right?

Yeah, sure.

Well, you haven't made your presentation yet.

Why don't you call her up and give it a try?

You mean just call her up and ask her out of the blue?

Sure.

And cut out all that phony, uh, you know what I mean.

Just be yourself, Rob.

Be honest.

See how that works.

Like that?

Yeah.

What did you say today?

I mean, when you made your presentation.

Well, I just said, gentlemen, here are the
facts and figures.

I think they'll speak for themselves.

They did.

Amber?

Amber, this is Robbie Douglas.

I just called to give you some facts and
figures, and I think they'll speak for themselves.

Fact number one, I lost the election, but
I only wanted to run so you'd notice me.

Fact number two, I want to date with you
more than anything else I can think of.

As far as figures go, I... I've only got enough
for a movie and, say, a hamburger afterwards.

So that's about it.

So, will you?

You will?

Tonight?

Say, after dinner?

Okay.

Goodbye, Amber.

Dad?

Hey, Dad!

Hey, Dad!

Dad, at work!

I got elected!

She likes me the way I am.

We have a date tonight and everything.

Quiet, modest, serious, Robbie Douglas is go, go, go.

Did I hear him say something about quiet,
modest, serious Robbie Douglas?

He is now go, go, go with Amber.

Well, hi, Dad!

How's every little thing?

That new design working out?

Fine, Chip.

Yes, thank you.

Keep up the good work, Dad.

Bye, Dad.

Oh, you're doing a great job with the cooking.

That lunch you fixed me was a-okay.

Wow.

I better go get cleaned up for dinner.

Oh, by the way, I'm running for class treasurer.

Well, take care.

It's broken out again.

Hiya, Robbie, old buddy boy.

How's every little thing?

Look, bird, it's a plane.

It's not Superman.

Stay tuned for two episodes of My Favorite
Martian during this twice as nice morning on TV Land.

.