03x16 - Honorable Grandfather

[bunniefuu]

Those.

Drawings for the stabilizer upstairs, Ray.

I'll go up and get them.

Take your time, Steve.

Give me a chance to say hi to the boys and Bub.

Good.

Tradition?

What's tradition?

An excuse to keep things the way they
were instead of letting us introduce a new idea.

Hi, Mike.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Ray.

How are you, Mike?

Mike, you haven't seen Ray in quite a while.

Oh, yeah, it's good to see you.

Hey, look, my point is, why should we have to live
with a bunch of traditions that don't mean anything to us?

Look, Mike, it's all right, Steve.

I did not.

Oh, yeah, you did, too.

Are you trying to tell me I cheat?

Heck, no, but you sure goof up the rules.

While you get the drawings, I'll say hi to Chip and Bub.

Do you think it's safe?

I'll risk it.

I put down a club and you said you didn't have any.

Well, if I said it, I meant it.

Then how come you put down a club?

Well, I must have thought it was a spade.

Boy, if I did something like that,
you'd get sore and then you'd harm quick.

Yeah, well, that's the difference between
being your age and my age.

Hi, you two kachoks.

Oh, hello, Ray.

How are you?

Sit down, will you?

Make yourself at home.

Want to play three-handed hearts?

Sorry, Chip.

I can't stay.

You're lucky.

You know, I never thought I'd say this, but
somehow I kind of wish Sudsy were here.

Oh?

Where's old Sudsy?

We're out of school the rest of the week.

Well, his father took him to Washington, D.C.

because his mother couldn't stand him any longer.

And Chip's just moping around the house, fussing with me.

Freddy went to his aunt's house.

Well, there's nobody left here to play
with except big guys and babies.

Oh, hi, Mr. Wong.

Hi, Robbie.

I mean, bonsoir, monsieur.

Big French test coming up?

No, I'm taking Spanish, but I'm doing this for Angela.

Oh, Angela's French.

No, she just goes for the guys who speak it.

Hey, Bub, do you have any French cookbooks?

I need an interpreter for the ones in English.

You see, Angela goes for the guys who
knows all about fancy cooking.

You know, like Alain Marseille and Alain
Pierre, Alain Antoine, stuff like that.

Invite her over tonight for some leftovers, Alain Bub.

So, for the love of the lady, you're
studying to be a gourmet.

Well, I just got a show that Bradley Beaumont isn't
the only guy who knows his way around a French menu.

Hi, boys.

Hi, Steve.

I hear your drawings, Ray.

Thanks, Steve.

I was just hearing about the Continental
Playboy, who's after Robbie's girl.

Oh?

Don't tell me Ingrid is fickle.

Angela.

Ingrid was three girls ago.

Oh, I can't keep up with it.

Say, Chip, didn't I hear you arguing with
your grandfather when I came in?

Yeah, sort of.

Why?

Because I was handy.

He'd argue with a cat to the mood he's in.

We're still in the same mood, huh?

Uh, Steve, since Chip said loose ends without sudsy,
maybe he'd like to spend a few days with my family.

Well, that's very nice of you, Ray.

Isn't it, Chip?

Yeah.

Yeah.

We'd enjoy having a boy in the house.

My daughter Sally is just a year younger
than you, Chip, and not too bad for a girl.

Hey, how about that?

Creeps is us or nothing but pancakes.

What do you say, Chip?

If Sudsy or Freddy or any of the others should come back to
town, your dad can call you and we'll bring you right back.

Yeah.

Okay, Mr. Wong.

Well, then go upstairs and get your stuff ready.

And remember, you're not taking the rock collection.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

But you're very pleased that you invited him, right?

He's not half as pleased as I am.

Nothing but scorched pancakes.

Bub serves them all the time and we didn't
know what we were eating.

Ray, I'm working on an article for our school
paper that's going to blow the roof right off the college.

I'm calling it Tired Traditions.

Oh?

Yeah.

The old way is the only way?

Well, not for me it isn't.

The sooner we can smash out of this prison of
traditions, the sooner we can start really living.

I'll see you later, Ray.

My leftovers just left.

Well, it seems Mike has junked one
tradition already, ordinary politeness.

Don't you remember how we were at Mike's age?

Yeah, I guess so.

Goodbye, Bub.

Goodbye, Ray.

Goodbye, Robbie.

Yeah?

Do you think a nice girl could really like
a guy who eats snails?

Comment allez-vous?

Je vais bien.

Voulez-vous?

UN sandwich avec du pain français?

Angela.

Oh, hi.

Bonjour, mademoiselle.

Comment...

Comment...

I'm in kind of a hurry.

Oh, well, how are you, anyway?

Oh, fine.

I thought maybe we could have some lunch together.

Oh, that's sweet, but I can't.

Voulez-vous UN sandwich avec...

avec some French bread?

And a salad with, you know, what kind of dressing?

And for dessert, Dutch chocolate cake.

Bub doesn't know how to make French pastries yet.

It sounds wonderful, but I promised to
have lunch with Bradley.

Oh, Bradley.

He took me to this divine place for dinner last night.

So different, so exotic.

Peruski's pet drop, grape leaves summer,
and for dessert, baklava.

Uh, French?

Oh, no.

Bulgarian.

Bulgarian?

Mr. Douglas, Chip's father?

Yes.

Please come in, Mr. Douglas.

Thank you.

May I have your hand?

I'm sorry Chip took off without some extra
socks, but, uh...

Oh, we could have gotten him more socks,
but I really think he was lonesome to see you.

Oh, really?

You're actually Chip's father?

Yes.

Ray has talked so often about you and your
family, but I thought you were a much older man.

Oh.

Well, you have a charming home here, Mrs. Wong.

Thank you.

Personally, I prefer Danish modern, but
my husband's father clings to the old ways.

That's why we stay in this district.

All of his friends are here.

You know how we respect the old ones.

Yes.

Ray's out there in the garden with his father.

I'll get Chip.

Fine.

Steve.

Hello, Steve.

Hello, Ray.

I just dropped by to bring Chip some clean socks.

Oh.

I'd like to introduce you to my father.

Mr. Douglas.

Thank you, Mr. Wong.

And this is my wife's cousin, Miss May Lung.

She just arrived in the United States from Hong Kong.

How do you do, Miss Lung?

We would like to keep your Foochie with us.

Foochie?

It's the name father has given Chip.

It means not strange.

To my father, it seems that Foochie has
always been one of us.

Oh, yeah.

Steve has two other sons and his father-in-law.

They all live in a household with no women.

I do not think such a household exists.

Instead of this side of heaven.

What are those birds, Ray?

A cardinal and two finches.

They recall to my father another garden long ago in Peking.

Birds and flowers fill an old man's days
quietly and restfully.

Father has many different varieties of
flowers in his little gardens here.

Yes, they're very beautiful.

Well, I guess I'd better say hello to Chip
and get back to work.

Sir, is Alice rounding up Chip for you?

Yes, she is, Ray.

Goodbye, Mr. Wong.

Miss Lou?

Goodbye, Ray.

Bye, Steve.

Did you meet our grandfather, Mr. Douglas?

Yes, I did, Mrs. Wong.

I was just thinking of a grandfather whose
days are not filled with birds and flowers.

I hope Chip isn't too much trouble, Mrs. Wong.

Oh, no, he's a very good boy, but quiet.

Quiet?

You must have the wrong boy.

And he eats very little.

Well, now I know you have the wrong boy.

I've tried to fix the dishes he likes,
but he only eats enough to be polite.

That isn't like Chip.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Chipper.

Dad, this is Sally.

Hello, Sally.

How do you do, Mr. Douglas?

Come, Sally.

A woman must know when the men wish to talk.

See you.

Well, Chip.

Chip, uh, how are you getting along with Sally?

Well, she's not too clunky.

For a girl.

Huh?

You having a good time?

Yeah, it's okay.

You don't want to go home?

No.

Everything's kind of interesting.

Everybody acts kind of goofy, but it's not creepy goofy.

I, uh, think I know what you mean.

Mrs. Wong tells me you're, uh, not eating too well.

Well, she fixes hot dogs and hamburger and spaghetti.

I was counting on chop suey.

Well, she's probably just trying to make
you feel at home, Chip.

Yeah.

Now, you eat like you do at home, huh?

Well, maybe not quite that much.

We'll pick you up Sunday.

Okay, Dad.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Mrs. Wong?

Yeah?

I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving.

Mr. Douglas, on Saturday, we celebrate the
birthday of Honorable Grandfather Wong.

We'd be so pleased if you and your family would join us.

Oh, we'd like very much to come, Mrs. Wong.

I want the rest of my family to meet your
Honorable Grandfather.

Wonderful.

We'll see you on Saturday, then.

About 7.30.

That'll be just fine.

Uh, Mr. Douglas, if there's no woman in your
house, then who cleans and cooks and sews?

Our Honorable Grandfather, Bub O'Casey.

Goodbye, Mrs. Wong.

Goodbye.

Birthday party?

Yeah, it's a party for our raised
Honorable Grandfather Wong.

How old is this guy?

I don't know.

It's kind of hard to tell, Bub.

He must be up in his 70s.

Well, birthday parties are strictly for kids.

What are we going to do, play pin the tail on the mandarin?

You went around the world when you were in the Navy.

Don't you know that Oriental people have a
different way of looking at things?

Yes, they have this strange idea that
young people owe respect to their elders.

Now, that must be Ray.

Big Mouth and I can finish up.

That old guy will split a gasket trying to
blow out 70 candles.

Now, here.

Now, hi, Rob.

Hi, Dad.

I'm Mr. Wong.

Hi, Rob.

You look depressed.

Yeah.

Angela again?

Dad, every night Beaumont takes Angela to
a different kind of restaurant.

She thinks he's great just because he
knows where to get creamed whale blubber.

Creamed whale blubber?

Yeah.

Must be an Eskimo day.

Now, Rob, why don't you invite Angela to join us Saturday?

Thanks, Mr. Wong, but I'm afraid a birthday party would
seem pretty tame to a girl who doesn't know what to do.

A girl who's tried candied grasshoppers.

Just leave it to me, Robbie.

By Saturday, you'll be an authority.

Not on the entire Orient, perhaps,
but at least on the Wong household.

Let's start him on his education right now.

May I?

Anything that'll help, Ray.

Robbie, in my house, there's a Chinese scroll.

It says, Ji Ji Wai Ji Ji Fat Ji Wai Fat Ji Si Ji Ya.

Is that so?

What's that mean, Ray?

It means to know what you know and to know
what you don't know is to know.

Oh, how was that again?

My.

Mother has an imitation Ming face.

Maybe I could talk about that.

Just relax and leave everything to me, Angela.

Welcome, my honorable grandfather.

Welcome, my father.

And welcome, my brothers.

You haven't taken polite pills?

Thank you, my son, Foochie.

Foo what?

Oh, please come in.

You are most welcome to the house of my father.

Hello, Sally.

Yeah, Bert.

Hello, Bub.

Hi, Ray.

Hello, hi.

So this is Angela.

Truly a bird of paradise.

Oh, yeah.

Isn't she, though?

Angela Topher, this is Mr. Wong.

How do you do, Angela?

How do you do?

I've never seen anything like this.

I suppose you're familiar with that.

No.

It stands for happiness, so that when everyone
comes into the house, they find happiness.

But you're retouching.

It's a smattering.

As Confucius says, Of course.

You must be Robbie and Angela, huh, Mrs. Wong?

Oh, Robbie.

May I present Miss Angela Topher.

How do you do, Angela?

How do you do?

Robbie said you are indeed a rare
treasure, a girl of Jade and silver.

Robbie said that?

For you and Miss Topher, Robbie.

Adagio.

That's very nice.

It's a matter of tradition.

I look fine.

Thank you.

Do we all get one range?

Yes, I like this road.

Would you like to see the garden?

This way.

What.

Is this, Robbie?

Robbie, it's beautiful.

The family shrine is only put up on special occasions.

The Buddha is a good copy of a Tang sculpture from Shensei.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Mr. O'Casey, will you sit here, please?

With your permission, we'd like to make
this a double birthday.

We'd like to honor you also.

But this isn't my birthday.

I can't remember the last time I had a birthday.

It is the sum of your years that we honor,
sir, not just one year past.

Please, Bob.

Okay, why not?

Maybe I got a birthday party coming.

Please.

Thank you.

Grandpa.

It's very nice of you to honor Grandfather Bob.

Bob, I didn't know there was anything like this left.

The old customs and traditions are leaving us, Mike.

I think that much joy and beauty will be
lost when the new life is worn over completely.

Maybe so, Mr. Wong.

Mr. Wong?

I thought you and I were Ray and Mike.

Somehow it didn't seem right.

Come.

It's time for the presentation of gifts.

Chip, Sally.

For you, Grandfather.

The golden coins, much the most beautiful
coins in the world.

It's from the Douglas family.

Thank you.

For you, Honorable Grandfather.

May your singing sound better than my fussing.

Well, it's just exactly what I wanted.

A great big canary.

It's a lark.

It's from the Wong family.

Well, I don't know what to say.

I wish I could say thank you in Chinese.

Do-je.

Do-je.

You're welcome.

Learn.

To like this, Grandfather.

Sing something, Afong.

Boy, this is great.

I thought all your mother knew how to fix was hot dogs.

This.

Is great soup, Grandfather.

What.

Kind of soup is this?

It's a bird's nest soup.

They're made from a very special kind of nest.

The best ones are found in some caves in...

Please don't be upset by the chess move of my cousin.

When I'm married, it will be a man who
chooses me and whom I choose.

But we must play out the game for her sake.

It'll be a pleasure.

So let's begin with that in common.

I think you're just fabulous.

Thanks.

One of these evenings we'll go Indonesian.

They really have far-out customs.

Oh, Robbie.

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute!

What's the matter with you, Wegbert?

I played a heart.

Just a second ago you said you didn't have any heart.

Who said?

I said.

Wait a minute.

Back where I come from, when a guy makes a
crack like that, he better have something

to back it up or he's livin' to get his whole face changed.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah.

And now, uh, Honorable Sir Grandson, you were saying...

A thousand apologies.

If Honorable Grandfather said he had
heart, then Honorable Grandfather had heart.

That's much better, fool.

And please, Honorable Grandfather,
don't put any cards up those big sleeves.

Very funny.

Very funny.

Very funny.

Very funny.

Very funny.

Stay tuned for another episode of My Three Sons as
this twice as nice morning continues here on TV Land.