08x19 - R.C. & L.B Forever

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Okay, here's breakfast.

Oh, look at this.

The fried eggs and bacon form two eyes and a mouth.

Oh, that just reminds me of Richie and his
little round face.

Morning, Marion.

Morning, dear.

Morning, Tony.

Morning, Daddy.

Morning.

Hey, what are you sippin' up?

They're not gonna let Khrushchev into Disneyland.

Oh.

Now, I am gonna go shopping for groceries today.

Do you want anything special?

Mm-hmm.

Bring some money back.

You always complain about the grocery bill.

You're the biggest eater.

I am not the biggest eater, Marion.

Just so happens that Jiminy crickets.

Mom, I think you hurt his feelings.

Lori Beth!

For goodness sake, how long have you been standing there?

Lori Beth, are you in there?

There's a letter in her hand, Howard.

She won't let go of it, Marion.

It's like your mother holding a bottle of gin.

How?

Looks like it's from Richie.

Oh!

I'm getting married!

We know that, dear, to Richie.

Yes, we know.

No, I'm getting married in two weeks!

Two weeks!

What?

Richie wants to get married as soon as possible.

The army's getting real lonely.

Oh, I bet.

He's tired of dancing at the canteen with Ralph.

Oh, Richie is coming home at last!

Oh, he's not coming home, Mom.

I have to go to Greenland.

Richie's working on a game.

Top secret base.

Even Bob Hope hasn't been there.

Wow.

You won't get to leave for a year.

I'll have to fly up there.

Well, we'll all fly up to Greenland with you.

Yeah.

No, Mom, it's a restricted base.

Only wives are allowed.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

You mean we won't even go to our son's wedding?

Oh, he promised me I could be his bridesmaid.

Oh, all my life I've waited for our children's wedding.

It's all right.

Well, no, that's just selfish of me.

The important thing is that our son is
marrying a wonderful, wonderful girl.

That's what counts.

Now, don't anybody be alarmed.

I'm going to start you crying.

Oh, Mom, don't.

Yes?

Cunningham, Howard Z?

Yes.

You got a son, Cunningham, Richard J.,
a private in the U.S.

Army?

Is Richard all right?

No.

It is, ma'am.

He's fine.

Oh, I'm so relieved.

Well, thank you.

Thank you.

Cunningham, Marion K.

Captain John Slaughter, U.S.

Army.

Would you like some coffee, Captain?

Oh, thank you, ma'am.

Very nice of you.

Carry it, please.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, this is Lori Beth.

Oh, you're the one for whom Private
Cunningham requested a visitor's pass.

Yes, sir.

And this is my daughter, Joanie,
and her boyfriend, Chachi Arcola.

Why aren't you in the Army?

I'm in high school.

Think Army.

You can choose your own job.

The best one is, uh, what do they call those things?

They're made of armor.

They got a big g*n sticking out of them.

Tanks.

You're welcome.

Oh, we all love that one down at the recruiting station.

Captain, what about the visitor's pass?

Right.

The sign is?

Lines 1-2-3- and 9.

Three copies.

Why are there three copies?

One for you, one for the Army, and one
we destroy so the Russians won't get it.

Well, here you are, Captain.

Thank you, ma'am.

Please sit down.

Thank you, ma'am.

Well, you're a lucky little lady.

Since the base is restricted, only wives
are allowed to visit.

I know.

It's funny, I never thought I'd ever get
married in Greenland.

You're not married yet?

No, not yet.

Then you can't get clearance.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Now, you just said the wives could get on the base.

The wives can, but she's not a wife yet.

Well, do you have a chapel on the base?

Yes, 20 pews.

Well, then she'll fly up there and get
married in the chapel.

She can't get on the base to get married
in the chapel because she isn't married yet.

Well, this is ridiculous.

Beginning to sound like Abbott and Costello.

Who's on first?

I don't know.

Third base.

Wait a minute.

Now, look, this is getting a little out of hand.

Now, what's the big problem?

Private Cunningham is on leave in a year.

Oh, we can't wait a year.

Yeah, he's stuck up there with Ralph Mouth.

Oh, that Mouth boy.

He's the one who tried to go AWOL by
mailing himself to his mother.

Isn't there anything we can do, sir?

I'm sorry.

Move it.

Oh.

Rules are rules.

You make one exception and a nation crumbles, as you were.

Too bad this isn't the Old West.

In those days, if a man and woman were
apart, they'd get married by means of proxy.

Hey, why don't you tell me something I don't know?

Oh, yeah.

I don't know that.

Why don't you tell me?

You see, Fonz, in those days, if a man
couldn't attend his own wedding,

what they would do is he would send a
stand-in, a representative, proxy, if you will.

If you will what?

You see, Fonz, they would continue on with the
wedding and everything would be completely legal.

All right, the question is, is it legal today?

I see no reason why it wouldn't be.

Well, why can't we do that?

We could have a minister right here in our...

In our own home, and then somebody could
stand in for Richard, and after the

marriage, Lori Beth, you would be allowed
to go to Greenland.

Yes!

I'll tell you something else we could do.

We get a phone, right?

We call Richie up, and he calls us.

We got him right here for the ceremony.

Okay, okay, okay, now assuming this is
legal, and I think it is, only one question remains.

Who is going to be Richie's proxy?

Oh.

Fonzie, would you like to be Richie's proxy?

Yes, please.

Children are smiling.

Families are decorating.

Santa Claus is beating up the Cunninghams.

Must be that time of year.

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Mom, I'm overwhelmed.

We're going to have to postpone this wedding.

How about something to eat?

There's the church music, the florist, the arrangements.

Okay.

And then what about the bridesmaids' dresses?

Now, do I have to include Cousin Ruth?

Katie, we've got 11 months.

We can do this.

And getting David's family to cut their mullets?

Put it on the list.

It's that extra goodness in Sarah Lee
Homestyle bread, along with our bagels.

They're just another reason why.

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I'll get it!

I'll get it!

I've got it!

Oh, thank heaven, the cake!

You are an hour late!

Sorry, ladies, Saturdays are crazy.

Everybody thinks they're the only affair in town.

Why does that cake say, Happy Bar Mitzvah, Herbie?

Our name is Cunningham.

Is that a bar mitzvah name?

I once knew a customer... I'm sorry, ladies.

Sorry?

Well, let's cut the mustard, bucko.

Marion!

Marion, what is going on down here?

The wedding is a disaster.

Fix it!

Happy Bar Mitzvah, Herbie?

What if we take a little bride and stick
it next to the bar mitzvah boy?

What if we take it back and fix it?

That's another choice.

That's the choice you're going to make.

I got some stuff in the truck.

I'll have it fixed right up.

Why aren't you dressed?

Well, I washed some things and I want to
dry them by the oven.

Well, will you please hurry up?

There are going to be people here any minute.

Oh.

Hi, Mr. C.

Glasses are here.

And we are ready to ush.

That's right.

Where's Potsie?

Oh, he went on a psychology field trip with his
school and the bus broke down just outside Chicago.

Well, who's going to sing?

Well, there's always Al.

We'll play a record.

I got to finish dressing.

Will you guys please answer the door for me?

Oh, it'd be a pleasure, Mr. C.

Yeah.

Hey, Mr. C.

What?

Just think.

Maybe someday you'll be getting dressed
for Joanie's wedding.

To someone I know real well.

I hope you're invited.

Thanks, Al.

Somebody quit my bras on fire.

Oh, chimney, quick.

Oh, wait.

I'll smother the flames with my body.

I'm not wearing it, you dope.

That's okay with me.

Joanie, will you get in here and help me?

Come here.

Chachi, Chachi, Chachi.

Good morning.

Hi.

I'm Reverend Dan.

I never heard of you.

Oh, I'm Roger Phillips.

This is Chachi Arcola.

How do you do?

I had to leave for the wedding.

I mean, I didn't have any time.

Well, this is the celebrity.

This is the funniest thing I ever heard.

I said I was sorry.

Are you trying to set a fire to the whole house?

No, Dad, I didn't mean to.

Oh, my, I said I was sorry, Dad.

I have told you a hundred times that you
don't dry clothes in the oven.

When did you start wearing a bra?

Daddy!

She, uh, set her bra on fire.

A lot of people do that now.

Hello there.

Well, uh, we're David.

And Emily.

Oh.

Alan.

Alan.

Alan.

We're Lori Beth's parents.

Oh.

Oh.

Lori Beth's parents.

Please give me, tell me, how was your trip from Africa?

You must be Richie.

No, no, no, I'm Marion's nephew, Roger Phillips.

Oh.

Well, then you must be Richie.

Oh, no, no, my name is, uh, Chachi Arcola.

Oh.

You're Richie?

No.

Oh, thank God.

Uh, um, excuse me, uh, you've never seen Richie?

Well, Lori Beth did send us a very nice picture of Richie,
but before it got to us, the insects had eaten its face.

We have African flies that could carry away a house.

Well, where is Richie, anyway?

I'm so anxious to meet him.

Oh, Richie's in Greenland.

You mean he skipped out on my daughter?

No, he's getting married by phone.

Lori Beth didn't tell you.

Well, we were in Nairobi when the message reached us.

It had to be relayed by jungle drums.

They must have dropped a beat.

Well, where's Lori Beth, or is she phoning it in, too?

Oh, no, no, she's right upstairs getting ready.

First door on your left.

Oh, I can't wait to see her.

Those were Lori Beth's parents?

Yeah.

Why didn't you introduce me?

Oh, Al, I'm sorry.

Look, when they come down again, I'll introduce you, okay?

She thought I was Richie.

I know.

You should have introduced me.

You should have introduced me.

I'm sorry.

Very nice cake, huh?

Hey, Fonz.

Fonz, you look great.

You think so?

Are you kidding me?

You're a vision of loveliness.

I'll tell you something.

I got so nervous, I started to dress last night.

I slept standing up.

You are not the one getting married.

Now, what are you so nervous about?

Well, I'll tell you.

You know, I'm standing in for my good friend, right?

I don't want to mess up.

Well, you listen to yourself.

Huh?

The Fonz mess up?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So beautiful.

Well, where are the Cunninghams?

Richie?

Roxy.

Well, the girls are almost ready.

Now, there's nothing more to do but wait
for the guest and Richie's phone call.

Oh, this is so exciting.

Who are you?

Oh, Howard, wouldn't it be beautiful if Richard actually...

If Richard actually were here,
like he'd come in the door, he'd sweep

Lori Beth off her feet, carry her on the threshold.

I'm here.

I didn't think I'd make it, but I jumped
on that plane and I am here.

Oh, here you are.

How wonderful.

Oh, my God.

How great.

Oh, no, no.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, but that is not Richie.

He's one of Richie's friends, Potsie Weber.

Oh?

Oh, no one's ever been this excited to see me.

I'll always remember.

This day.

Richie.

Oh, Richie.

Oh, it's Richie.

All right, all right.

Well, Richard, why?

What kept you so long for calling?

Oh.

Oh, he had to wait in line at the barracks
to use the phone.

Oh, Richard, are you eating all right, dear?

Are you wearing your thermal underwear?

You're not drinking out of the other boy's
canteen, are you?

Matt and Mary, you just go get the girls
ready, will you, please?

Rich, hi.

How you feel?

Oh, that's great.

Now, look, I'm going to turn you over to
the Reverend Edwards.

He's going to perform the ceremony.

Okay, hold on.

Here you are.

All right, everyone.

Come on now.

Hello, Richard.

How are you?

I haven't seen you since you shouted out
the baseball scores in church.

Yes, I forgive you.

Richard, are you ready to begin?

Fine.

Here's your proxy.

Richie!

How you doing?

Huh?

You excited?

You nervous?

Yeah, me too.

I'm going to tell you something.

I bet you can't wait for her to get on that
big bird to fly way up there to Greenland, huh?

I bet you can't wait for tonight either, huh?

Sorry, Red.

All right, Red.

Here we go.

You ready?

Whoa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Potsie's going to sing as always.

That's right.

Hit it, Weber.

I love you, true.

Truly, truly dear.

Life with its sorrow.

Life with its tear.

Here come your parents.

Oh, they look happy, yeah.

And here comes your cousin, Raj.

Oh, Mrs. Allen's tripped on the stairs.

She's all right.

And there's Joanie, beautiful Joanie.

You ought to see her all in lavender, you know.

I love you, Richie, and I miss you.

Richie, here she comes.

It's unbelievable.

She looks too good for words.

Hey, look, remember that bike we saw in
the window for $4,000?

Think about that in a white dress, you know?

She just walked out the door, Rich.

I had you going there for a minute.

All right, look, we're ready to go.

Her dad's putting her on my arm.

She's on my arm.

Come on, let's go.

Good luck.

We are gathered here today in the sight of
God and of this gathering.

Marion, are you all right?

Something is missing.

Yeah, I feel the same way.

If any man can show just cause why they
may not be lawfully joined together,

let him speak now or forever hold his peace.

Yes, I'd like to say something.

All right, Richie, I think your father's gone bonzo.

No, no, I haven't gone bonzo.

Forgive me, please, Lori Beth.

Look, David and Emily, you flew all the way
here to be with your daughter on her wedding day.

And, well, we feel a need to be with our
son in some way, too.

So, if this doesn't sound too crazy,
I wonder if you'd all indulge us for just

a few minutes while we go into the kitchen
and talk to our son on the phone in private.

I'm sorry.

Hey, let me tell you, it's not crazy.

I mean, we can amuse ourselves.

You know, Jenny will learn how to catch the bouquet.

Class will sing some tunes.

Hello, Richard, this is your mother.

I'm sorry that we stopped the wedding,
but we wanted to talk to you, dear.

There's something that I was planning to
say to you when this day arrived,

and I thought I would be saying it to your face.

Well, maybe I'd better let your father go
first, because I can't think what I want to say.

Hi, Rich.

Yeah, hi, son.

I'm very proud of you today, but then I've
always been proud of you.

You know that.

I mean, since the day you were born, you've always been a
source of pleasure and pride to both your mother and myself.

Well, if I could say anything to you on this day,
I guess... Oh, I thought of what I wanted to say.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

Okay.

Richard.

I guess what I wanted to say is simply this.

In the past, your mother and I have always
been here when you needed us, and now that

you're getting married, nothing has changed for us.

We're still your parents, and we're still
here, and we always will be here,

and we love you very much.

Yeah, hurry, Marion.

Of course.

Richard, this is your mother again.

I can't help thinking...

Of the day that... Of the day that you were
born, and the moment when the nurse put you in

my arms for the first time, and
somehow, I always feel that no

matter where you are or what
you do, you're always in my arms.

Richard, this little talk has made your mother very happy.

Yeah, so what do you say we get married, huh?

Okay.

Okay, everyone.

Thank you for your Patience.

We're ready now.

You bet.

Here we go.

All right.

Richard, will you have this woman to be
your lawful wedded wife?

Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her
in sickness and in health so long as you both shall live?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

We do.

Lori Beth, will you have this man?

And to be your wedded husband,
do you promise to love him, comfort him,

honor and keep him in sickness and in
health so long as you both shall live?

I do.

You lucky dog.

And now the ring to symbolize the
togetherness you will always share.

All right, I'm getting a ring now from Chachi.

It's officially on her finger.

Yeah.

All right.

What next?

That's it.

Now, by the power vested in me by the state of
Wisconsin, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the phone.

Hello, this is Mrs. Richard Cunningham, and I love you.

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living with limited mobility.

Hi, I'm Dan Weston with good news from the Scooter Store.

You may qualify for a brand-new power
chair or scooter at little to no out-of-pocket cost.

If you are confined to a chair or bed,
unable to get around your home without

assistance, If you're unable to push
yourself in a manual wheelchair,

and your doctor prescribes a power chair
for your medical need, then there's a good

chance Medicare and private insurance will
cover the cost of your new power chair.

I hadn't been able to get around the house
on my own in over a year.

This power chair has changed my life,
thanks to the scooter store.

Medicare approves 90% of all the claims we pre-qualify.

Plus, if we pre-qualify you and Medicare
denies your claim, the scooter store

allows you to keep your power chair at no cost.

If you have a medical need, it's time to
receive the benefits you deserve.

Call the scooter store now.

Call 1-800-641-5522 for free information.

That number again is 1-800-641-5522.

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Ah, everything seems to be in order here.

Good luck!

Mrs. Cunningham, Richard J, may you have
lots of little commandos.

Hey, Lori Beth, are you ready, right?

You got a rendezvous to go up there and keep
my buddy Ritchie warm for the first time in a year.

Boy, am I ready.

Whoa, this is heavy.

If I didn't know better, I figured you got
Herbie's cake in here.

Let's move it.

Bye, John.

Thank you, everybody.

Bye, Cedar.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Give my love to Richard.

Have a wonderful honeymoon.

Great time.

Great time.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Well,

Joanie, you're next.

Goodbye,

gray sky, hello, blue.

So you can hold me when I hold you.

The Brady Bunch is next, so keep on,
keep on, keep on watching.

The Silver Platters make their big debut with
their one-shot wonder hit, It's a Sunshine Day.

You know you want to sing along.

So stay tuned for Episode 88, Amateur Night.