08x18 - Scholarship

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Company 9, bus 47.

I'm gonna score.

He makes a new scoring record.

Chachi Arcola, Jefferson's on the way to the finals.

I want you all to drive home safely because I'll walk in.

My name's Eddie Monroe.

I'm a basketball scout for Eastern Florida University.

Really?

You graduate in June, right?

Right.

You play a good game, kid.

Oh, thanks.

You know, I can play even better,
but I'm breaking in a new pair of socks,

so... You did just fine.

Listen, have you talked to any other scout?

Oh.

Are you kidding me?

Plenty of them.

Well, uh, one.

You see, the other guy was from the University of Arkansas.

Oh, nice school, nice school, but you know
it is in Arkansas.

Yeah, he was very honest about that.

Well, now, Florida, you know, you got
sand, you lay around in the sand,

you got palm trees, beach parties, pretty
little bikinis going by with girls in them.

Oh, those are the best kind.

What about your grades?

What about them?

Well, I've seen them in a relationship.

A little, uh, shaky.

Well, maybe a little shaky.

Uh, why, does that bother you?

Well, let me put it this way.

It doesn't bother me as much as it would bother Arkansas.

You see, we at EFU know how to handle a student in
your situation who may be, uh, academically disadvantaged.

Are you talking about a scholarship?

You got it, kid!

Chachi!

Come on, come on, we're gonna celebrate!

Oh, uh, okay.

Who's that, your girl?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Isn't she great?

Oh, what a face.

You know, I'd hate to leave her behind to go to Florida.

I mean, if I left her for four years, she's liable to date.

Who's going to Florida?

Your boyfriend.

You are.

Where are you going to college?

I don't know.

What's your name?

Joanie.

Joanie, how would you like to go to college in Florida?

Florida?

Oh, sure would be a lot warmer than in Milwaukee.

That's right.

You're a very intelligent girl.

How'd you like to go to college in Florida?

I'd like a scholarship.

A scholarship?

Oh.

What for?

Listen, we'll work something out.

Leave it up to me, okay?

We'll be in touch.

This is so exciting, Chachi.

Come on, come on.

The g*ng's waiting for us at Arnold's.

All right, let's go celebrate.

All right.

Nice talking to you.

Nice talking to you.

See you later.

Chachi, a basketball scholarship.

Oh, and Florida.

All right, I'll see you in a few minutes, okay?

Yeah, I'll meet you outside the gym, okay?

Hey, Frank, this is Eddie.

Yeah, I'm in Milwaukee.

Yeah, I saw the kid.

He's good, all right.

Yeah, I think I can get him.

Yeah, I know I said that about the other
kids, but this kid's different.

Yeah, he's eating it up.

What do you mean it's my last chance?

Frank, I'll get him.

No matter what, I'll get him.

I'll get him.

Mom, Dad, I got a scholarship to college.

No.

Yes.

What?

Well, where?

When?

Wow.

Okay, I got a scholarship to Eastern Florida University.

Oh.

Oh, that's a big school.

What kind of a scholarship?

Cheerleading.

How nice.

Cheerleading?

You got a cheerleading scholarship?

Yes.

That college scout that's been talking to
Chachi also recruits cheerleaders.

You're going to go to college on
boom-a-lock a, boom-a-lock a?

Thank you.

Boom-a-lock a, boom-a-lock a.

Well, I wouldn't have gotten the chance if
it wasn't for Chachi.

And you know what they say?

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

I don't understand this whole thing.

Well, Howard, that scholarship means that
we're going to save $2,000 a year.

That part I understand.

Hey, Mr. C, I am excited.

Hey, I want to ask you a question.

You hear what happened to my baby cousin, huh?

Whoa!

First Fonzarelli ever to go to college, huh?

On a basketball scholarship.

And everybody said when he was dribbling
that little ball around that he was going to win.

And everybody was just goofing off.

Yeah, that's right.

Including you, Fonz.

I was only repeating what I heard.

Part of the deal is Joanie's cheerleading scholarship.

Isn't this exciting?

We're going to go to college together, Chach.

Hey, Chach, didn't they say anything about your grades?

Oh, yeah, but Eddie, oh, that's the recruiter, he says
all I have to do is pass the entrance exam and I'm in.

He's in.

And he's got a great campus job lined up for me.

Oh, really?

What's the job?

You ready for this, huh?

My job is to turn the lights on at the football stadium.

What?



Wow.



Well, there must be a lot of lights.

We're talking a load of lights,
you know, and a great responsibility.

You can't play football in a dog.

And Eddie's even loaned me a car to get
back and forth to the stadium.

Oh, and a scholarship for Joanie.

Oh, there's just so much to do.

I'm going to start sewing those little
name tags in all your clothes.

Very good.

And you'll need luggage.

Oh, we could take a trip and see the campus.

I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going to
call Grandma and Grandma Kelp.

Joanie is going to college with Chachi.

We should have a little talk before you go.

Listen, Joanie, what do you say we go out, huh?

I got Eddie's car and he even gave me an
advance on laundry money.

Really?

Well, how much of an advance?

A hundred little Georges.

Oh, God.

A hundred dollars for laundry.

Boy, I'm in the wrong business.

Wait a minute.

Get over here.

Give your cousin a hug.

I'm so proud of you.

I'm so proud of him, you know.

Boy, oh boy, what a day.

Yeah.

They both got scholarships.

I saved about $8,000.

Chachi's got a car, an easy job, a pocket full of money.

This is all wrong, isn't it, Roger?

I'm afraid so.

I know it's too good to be true.

What are you talking about too good to be true?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

Look, Fonz, colleges are allowed to give
athletes tuition, books, and $10 a month for laundry.

Who made up those silly rules?

A kid's got talent, you can pay for
talent, that's the American way.

Fonzie, don't you think this whole thing
is taking on a strange aroma?

I mean, you must admit, a cheerleading
scholarship for Joanie is somewhat out of the ordinary.

No, I don't.

The girl is gifted.

It is very hard to jump and spell at the same time.

That's not quite the point I was making.

No, I'll tell you what the point is, Mr. C.

The point is that this college has a whole lot of talent.

You know what I mean?

They're trying not to break up the little lovebirds.

Did you ever meet a college with a heart before?

Great.

And where's Chachi going to be when he gets out of school?

You tell me where he's going to find a job
turning on and off the lights.

You know, I'll tell you something.

I can't believe this.

That's four years away.

He's going to have a college education by then.

He'll get a great job.

Great.

Great education.

He'll be taking those Mickey Mouse classes
like famous referees.

History of sneakers.

You know, you're making my ears drum.

If the man has to take an entrance exam, that
means that he is smart enough to get in and get out.

By the time he gets out... He'll have a good job.

And he's going to pass that test.

Out of my way.

Of course.

You know, Raji, you're jealous.

Whoa.

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Ew.

Smart mommy.

Beta-fiber.

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I found my free love.

Hey, Chachi, how you doing?

He's in a lot of trouble.

Oh, would you look at these problems?

This stuff is m*rder.

m*rder.

Let's see, if one boy mows 10 square yards
and gets $8.45, yeah, we got that.

So if two boys mow three acres, what do they get?

Tired?

Chachi, you wrote tired?

Stay with it, will you, coach?

Come on, Lori Beth, back to work.

Chachi, you wrote tired?

I thought I might get extra credit for humor.

Think again.

Look, keep studying, Chachi, all right?

Hey, hot shot, how you doing on that sample test?

Oh, Eddie, I... I think I should level with you.

You see, when I was younger, like last
year, I didn't study that much.

As a matter of fact, I didn't study at all.

Oh, I wish I had.

Well, how many of those questions did you get wrong?

About half.

Well, that's not so bad.

I only did half.

I guess I don't get to go to college, huh?

Nah, not necessarily.

You're probably what we call an ALB.

What's that?

An academic late bloomer.

Oh.

That's the type of guy who's not ready for college right
now, but in a couple of years he'll probably be a genius.

Hey, you think so?

I can tell.

Now, what we have at old EFU for the ALB is the DSA.

Do you understand that?

N-O.

D-S-A.

Deferred Scholastic Achievement.

It's a plan to help people just like you.

You see, you don't have to take your entrance
exam right now until you get your degree.

That way it takes the pressure off.

Oh, I like that plan.

It's a good plan.

Hey, listen, why don't you go out and have some fun?

All right.

Hey, did you bring your birth certificate?

Oh, yeah, my, uh, B.C., right?

Hey, very clever.

You're gonna do real well in college.

Listen, uh, why do you want it?

Well, I'm gonna have to make a copy of this for, uh, EFU.

You know, clerical stuff.

I'll get it back to you in the morning.

Oh, fine, whatever.

You know something, Eddie?

I really feel like you're my pal.

Well, at old EFU, when you say Eddie, you're saying pal.

See you later, pal.

Morty, I'm gonna need you to take a test for a kid.

Uh, you'll get the usual.

So, uh, how well do you want this kid to do, huh?

Genius or just a slip-by?

I want him to do very well.

Here's his birth certificate.

All right.

He wrote tired?

What?

What a BB-brain.

Roger Phillips, basketball coach at Jefferson High.

Hello, Eddie Monroe.

I understand you've been talking to Chachi
about, uh, scholarships?

You should have talked to me first.

I'm his coach.

Yeah, well, I meant to talk to you, coach,
but I wanted to clear the air with Chachi first.

That's all right.

Where is Chachi?

He was just here studying.

Oh, well, he just finished up.

You know, he's a bright kid.

He doesn't have to study anymore.

Is that so?

I love your confidence.

Are you kidding?

It's so cool a kid could pass this test
with his eyes closed.

You know, I've been meaning to tell you,
coach, I like your team.

I like your colors.

As a matter of fact, I like your tie.

I liked it the other night, too.

Good color.

Hey, where's Chachi?

I brought him a snack to help him study.

I guess he feels adequately prepared.

Well, look, I gotta go.

I got a date tonight.

I forgot to get flowers.

I'll see you.

Yeah.

You know what I'm gonna do, Lori Beth?

I'm gonna go down to that test center
tomorrow morning and wish Chachi good luck.

It's the least I could do, right?

Yeah.

Well, we'll see you.

Mr. C!

C!

They went out to dinner.

I'm the only one here.

Well, that's good, because I got some good news.

You know, I got anxious, right?

So I called that testing place.

They tell me that Chachi passed the test
with flying colors.

You hear me?

Flying.

We're talking to Wright brothers.

I'm telling you that they were in a frenzy over his score.

The woman on the phone was in tears.

She said, the man is a genius.

Except he has to lose a little weight.

I don't know what that means.

Right.

I'll tell you what it means.

I'll tell you what it means, Fonz.

It means that Chachi didn't take that test.

Another kid took it for him.

You don't lose very graciously, do you?

Fonz, I went down there to where they were taking the test.

Yeah.

Just to wish Chachi some good luck.

Yeah.

Only Chachi wasn't Chachi.

When they called out his name,
this little round kid raised his hand.

Why don't you tell me this sooner?

Fonzarelli, communication is impeded.

When the person with whom you are trying
to communicate is not so difficult.

You're disposed.

One more time.

Fonz, you wouldn't listen.

We're talking major cheating here.

Major.

How could Chachi do this?

What, has he got animal crackers for brains?

Who is he?

Hey, get out of here.

Come in.

Hey, Fonz, hi, folks.

You guys, uh, you guys see Joanie around?

Oh, no, she went with Jenny to watch her brother wrestle.

Oh.

And Jenny's brother is crazy.

You know, one of these nights, that alligator's gonna win.

See ya.

Yeah.

You and me, we gotta have a little talk.

What?

Scratch that.

I'll talk.

You listen.

Sit down.

Somebody took an entrance exam for
college, and it wasn't you.

What?

That's right.

I went down there, and I know you didn't take it yourself.

Yeah, listen, uh, this is family stuff,
you know, kind of private.

You want to leave us alone?

Oh, I, I'll go get a little cake.

Yeah, chew, don't listen, huh?

Right.

Nice time.

You cheated.

What are you talking about?

Eddie said I didn't have to take the test.

Oh, they're going to make an exception for you, right?

They're going to let you in on your good looks.

Fonz, Eddie says I'm part of this new thing they got.

They call it the, uh, the Future Genius Program.

Future Genius?

What are they talking about?

Way in the future?

Look, Fonz, I'm sure Eddie wouldn't do
anything that wasn't okay.

Hey, Eddie, Eddie.

He's my buddy.

You're making me crazy with this, Eddie.

This school is a rip-off.

They let a little round kid take the test for you.

You ain't going to a crooked school.

I'm going.

You're not going.

Hold it.

Time out.

What did you just say to me?

Look, Fonz, I'm sure everything is okay.

Is it okay to let another kid take your test?

Another kid took my test?

Oh, now we start to listen to me.

Well, Eddie probably set it up,
but don't worry about it, Fonz.

You know what it's like?

Yeah.

It's like an assistant basketball, right?

Now, one guy feeds another guy the ball,
and he makes a basket.

The school just gave me an assist.

Your brain needs an assist.

There's something wrong with this.

I don't know what it is yet, but I'll figure it out.

Well, you want to figure this out?

I got a scholarship, and I'm going to EFU.

Well, you're going to get very hungry then.

Why is that?

Because you can't eat without teeth.

Eddie will buy me a new set.

I'm going.

No, you're not.

You want it back?

You're not going.

I'm going.

You're not going.

Don't even whisper it.

Eat your cake.

Eat your cake.

It's a pass there, Carla.

He scores.

That was a 36, Van Buren, 24.

Timeout is called.

I'm going.

No, you're not.

I'm Chachi Arcola's cousin.

Hey, buddy, I can't see.

There's nothing to see.

When there's something to see, you'll see, all right?

Hey, it's nice meeting you.

You ought to be very proud of your cousin.

He's got 16 points.

Don't talk to me about 16 points.

I'll take 16 points of your body and make
them black and blue.

You cheated my cousin into your school.

Didn't he tell you about being an academic?

Epidemic late bloomer?

I'm talking cheetahs, not bloomers.

Hey, what do you want from me?

If you don't want him to go, he doesn't have to go.

But he said he wanted to go.

He's 17 years old.

How many 17-year-olds do you know that are
mature enough to say, when they handed the

world on a plate, no, no, no, it's all
right, I'll take it the hard way.

Hey, I happen to have confidence that the


Maybe I have more faith in the youth of
America than you do.

You know, you're amazing.

You make it come in poison Ivy,
come out, smell like a Rose.

Let me tell you something.

Then why don't you sit down, you're spoiling a man's view.

Jefferson on three.

One, two, three.

Jefferson!

He comes back on the court.

Passes the ball, passes the hill, passes the hill.

Arcola steals the ball, Arcola!

Arcola's hurt!

Hey, Larry, eggin' for some bacon?

Hey, Larry, I'm good, Parker.

Larry!

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English muffin?

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All right, take it slow.

Thanks.

All right.

All right, what's the story, Doc?

Well, I think some ligaments have been torn away.

Yeah, so bad?

I don't think you'll be playing for a long time.

But, Doc, after all that, will I have 100% use of my ankle?

Well, I can't be sure.

I hope so.

Look, meet me in my office tomorrow.

We'll X-ray it, okay?

You better take good care of him.

You know I will.

I see you're not in charge.

I feel so bad.

Uh, kid, this may seem like a lousy time for this bit of
news, but there was a problem with your entrance exam.

What problem?

Well, it seems that he had some other kid
take his test for him.

I didn't.

You did.

No, I don't recall that.

Look, I'm going to have to go back to Florida, and they'll
decide whether this young man tried to cheat on his exam.

It may take a good while to make that decision.

All right, wait a minute.

What you're really saying is you're going
to wait to see if this ankle heals, right?

Well, that's your opinion.

You want my opinion?

Fonz, you hold my jacket.

I'm going to give this guy my opinion.

No, no.

No, no.

Just give me some room right now, okay?

Which opinion do you want?

This opinion?

Or you want this opinion?

Let me get one shot at you, Fonz.

You want to know something?

I have never seen this man come up to violence.

You know what kind of sleazebag you must
be to get him to this point?

You know, I'm crazy about you.

I really am, you know?

You pump these kids full of sunshine, you
eat them up, and you spit them out, you know?

Come here for a minute.

I'm talking about spitting out.

Hey, now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

This isn't my fault.

This is a business.

This is the way it's done.

There's a hundred guys all over the
country doing the same thing.

Yeah, and there's hundreds of guys out
there doing it right, too.

I'm going to report you to the NCAA.

There's too much talking.

Not enough hearing.

All right, all right, all right.

Come here.

Come here.

Why don't you just find yourself right off
campus, all right?

All right?

Hey, kid, I hope your ankle heals.

Thanks, pal.

Nice.

Well, that's the man that you wanted to
take care of you for.

Four years, huh?

Fonz, it's all my fault.

I let that guy tell me things I knew were wrong,
only because I liked what he was telling me.

Most important thing is you realize that now,
I mean, the guy was a smoothie, you know.

All right, charge that ankle heal.

There'll be other scouts.

But what if they don't like my grades?

Hey, you're a smart kid.

You go to junior college, you get your grades up.

Yeah, listen to him.

He knows what he's talking about.

What are we sitting around here for?

A hundred people waiting in honors for a victory party.

Okay, let's go.

Yeah, Al, I got to tell you something.

Very impressive about how tough you got, you know.

Yeah.

Al, I don't like to show that side of me, Fonzie.

I could be an animal.

Yes, I know.

Come on, Al.

Watch yourself.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Where are you going?

I got to go back to the locker room.

The guys are going to throw me in the showers.

Ah.

It's a tradition.

See you, Chachi.

I'm going to miss that.

They left me all alone here.

I can hardly walk.

Chachi.

Oh.

I was waiting for you outside.

What?

The doctor said... What did he say about your ankle?

Well, he said it would be all right after a while.

Look, uh, Joanie, I'm sorry, but I'm not
going to be able to get you at the EFU.

Oh, that's all right.

My dad was a little down on that anyway.

And they're going to be laid up for a
while, so I can't go to the party either.

Well, that's okay.

I'll get it right from somebody else.

And what?

I'm just kidding.

Does it hurt?

Oh, a little bit.

Hey.

Hey, do you want to know something?

What?

We are all alone here.

We are?

Yeah.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right, it can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

These days are on.

Next up, I Dream of Jeannie.

These days are on.

Happy.

Days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.

Happy days.