08x17 - Tall Story

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Why don't you get it out of this foolishness all day long?

Mr. Gantolo, this foolishness is going to
get me a college scholarship.

College, big deal.

It's a place where I got more bathrooms to clean.

Before I go, three things.

One, turn off the lights.

Two, lock up.

Chachi, is there any chance of our going
to see a movie tonight?

A movie?

I thought you liked to watch me practice.

Yeah, about as much as you like to watch me do my nails.

Look, Jo, don't you see I have to practice
so I can get a scholarship?

I know, but every night, it's boring.

You know why it's boring?

Why?

Because you don't get involved.

All right, here.

Now, stand right between me and the
basket, all right, with your arms up.

My arms up?

Tickle, tickle.

I'm not going to play.

Come on, it's a joke.

All right.

Put your arms back up.

Ready?

All right, sweetheart, give me all your money.

That's it.

I'm not playing.

I'm sorry.

It's a joke.

I just put your arms back up.

All right.

Tickle, tickle.

You ready?

All right.

I blew right past you.

Anybody could.

You're right, Chachi.

This is fun.

And you thought it was boring.

Now if you'll excuse me.

Hi, Jones.

Oh, hi, Jenny.

How'd you know we were here?

Your mom said you had a date with Chachi.

Where else would you be?

Right.

What a great pair of legs.

They're mine.

Hey, nice shot.

Want me to get you a bigger hoop?

Sit down.

Chachi, look, Jenny, I'm trying to
practice here, all right?

Now I have to practice so I can get a scholarship.

We know.

Will you ladies sit down, please?

Hey, hi.

How you doing?

All right.

What's all the lights on?

Is this some kind of a team practice?

No, I'm just sh**ting some baskets.

Nothing important.

Oh, my name's Chachi.

John.

Hi, John.

This is Jenny and Joanie.

Hi, John.

Nice legs, too.

Oh, Jenny.

So, John, you want to sh**t around a little bit?

Maybe a little one-on-one?

Sure.

Can I warm up first?

Yeah, go right ahead.

Thanks.

He's tall, but tall guys are usually
pretty awkward, you know what I mean?

Right.

You know, I think I'll take it easy on him.

Chachi, I'm ready any time you are.

All right, John, let's do it.

Good ball.

Take it out.

All right.

All right.

Okay.

Wow.

Great shot.

Here, you take it out.

All right, girls, get ready to wow.

You know, I didn't even realize how late it was.

Would you look at that?

Let's go, John.

We've got to be running long if we want to catch him.

Hey, Chachi, why isn't he on the basketball team?

Hey, you're right.

You're right.

We could use him on the team.

I mean, with his size and speed,
we can get to the state football team.

Finals like that.

Let's go.

Oh, what movie are we going to see?

What movie?

I've got to tell the coach about John.

Thank you so much, Jenny.

What are friends for?

Let's go.

All right.

And three, put the ball away.

Those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.

There you are.

We're looking all over for you.

What's so important, Chachi?

I couldn't find you last night, coach.

I checked every place, even the hospital.

Where were you?

I was at home.

I called your home.

I wasn't answering the phone.

Why not?

Yeah, I'm entitled to a little privacy, too, you know.

Oh.

You know what he was doing, right, Al?

No.

He had a date.

A date.

All right, look.

What's so important, Chachi?

Okay.

All right, question.

Now, what is the one thing our team needs
to get to the state finals, huh?

Huh?

We need a center.

We need some height.

Exactly.

Now, I was playing in the gym last night, right?

Yeah.

And this kid that I've never seen before
comes in and he tore me to...

Well, he, uh, he held his own against me.

Chachi, Chachi, is this kid tall?

Is he tall, coach?

This guy can kiss the moon.

He's tall?

He's a giant.

He's tall?

He's tall.

Al, Al, he's tall.

He's a giant.

What is it?

What is it?

Is there a mouse?

Don't you see a mouse in front of the customers?

There's no mice here.

No mice.

Never been mice here.

Everything's fine.

I just...

Furniture.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry, Al.

Come on.

What's all the excitement about?

Chachi met someone tall.

I thought you were going with Joanie.

No, Lori Beth, I'm talking about a guy who
plays basketball.

Oh.

Well, Al, we need you in the kitchen.

Why?

Clarence is trying to make hot chocolate in the toaster.

All right, all right, I'll take care of it.

Come on, let's go.

Lori Beth, a mouse!

No, no, no, no, I was kidding.

I was kidding.

There's no mice.

No mice.

Come on, sit down.

Have a good time.

Chuch, does this kid go to Jefferson?

Well, he must.

I mean, he knew where the gym was.

Coach, this kid was unbelievable.

He shot from outside.

He shot from inside.

He was all over the court.

Who's this?

Hey.

Fonz.

My cousin.

My colleague.

How are you?

Hi, Fonz.

Hey, how you doing?

This is John Barnett.

He's a new student in my class.

At Jefferson?

No, no, no, at b*stard.

Of course at Jefferson.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, you're welcome.

I'd like to introduce you to some people right here.

He's the coach of the basketball team, Roger Phillips.

How you doing?

My cousin, Chachi Arcola.

Yeah, we met last night.

Listen, John, how'd you like to welcome
out for the basketball team?

Yeah, Chachi tells me you're quite a player.

Coach, there must be some kind of mistake.

I don't play basketball.

What are you talking about?

I saw you.

All right, look, why don't you come by the
gym this afternoon?

We're having practice.

We'll get to the bottom of this thing, huh?

No, Coach.

I think I'll pass.

That's weird.

Fonz, what do you know about him?

Oh, I know.

I know he transferred here from another school.

He's in my class.

I'm tutoring him to help him catch up.

You want to know his birthday, his blood type?

No, but Fonz, I want to know why he was so friendly
to me last night, and today he put the freeze on me.

Oh, I'll find out.

All right.

Hey, John, can I see your tallness over here, please?

How would you like to sit down?

I don't get this jock stuff myself.

Peter, but these guys have their little
hearts set on you playing b-boy, you know?

Hey, Fonz, don't play basketball.

You know, I understand.

You don't like the little shorts, right?

I don't mind the shorts.

You don't mind the shorts?

All right, look, you're new here, right?

You want to make friends?

Sports is a very good way to make friends.

Why don't you come down to the gym,
you know, you throw the ball up in the

air, you wait for it to come down,
you catch it, you know, good, you go home.

Okay, I'll try it.

All right, that's good.

That's good.

Mr. Barnett says he's going to try it.

That's great.

Hey, great, John.

Glad to have your board, huh?

See you at practice, John.

I'll see you later.

All right.

Hey, Fonz, did you ask him why he claims
he doesn't play basketball?

No, but he's got to have some, like, personal reason, man.

You want me to beat it out of him in the back?

You think we should?

Chachi.

I'm kidding.

Man, I get more laughs tickling Joanie.

Every man twits.

Hunch around and round.

Up and down.

Up and down.

Down and one, two, three, jump.

Okay, team, let's go.

Gather around.

I want you all to meet John Barnett.

He's new here at school, and he's going to
try out for our team.

All right, John, let's show him what you got.

What's happening, John?

I found him.

I don't see why we need any new guys on the team, Coach.

We're pretty good right now, right?

Where do you see this guy playing?

He's the big man that we need.

All right, look, Johnny, get out there and
take a couple shots.

Hey, Coach, like I told you, I'm not as
good as Chachi Thicke.

All right, he's mine.

We'll see.

Come on, here we go.

Let her rip.

Oh, you're right, Chachi, this kid's really something.

Give him a chance.

John, do me a favor and try a jump shot, will you?

This is a joke, right, Chachi?

The guy shoots like my sister.

Yeah, well, they're about the same height.

Hey, watch.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come on, now.

All right, you guys get out here and warm up.

We'll start practicing in a bit.

John, John, what are you doing?

Jump shot, jump shot.

I don't believe this.

Coach, I saw him play myself.

Great.

Then what's he doing?

I don't know.

But there's something funny going on here.

I mean, he's holding back.

I played against him and he beat me.

Almost.

I'll tell you, Chachi, he is tall.

I don't understand.

I mean, he does move like an athlete.

Maybe.

Ah, there is one guy who could get him to play.

Who's that?

Tommy.

Tommy?

Tommy doesn't even like him.

Exactly, Chachi.

Johnny, come over here for a sec, will you?

Yes, sir, coach.

He seemed to be lacking in some of the
fundamental skills that basketball requires.

I told you, can I go now?

In a sec.

Would you do me a favor first?

Okay.

Tommy, over here.

Yeah, coach.

Would you go run along with Tommy for me?

Oh, hey, coach, this is pretty cruel, huh?

That's what you want, coach.

That's exactly what I want.

All right, you take her out.

Come on, Johnny.

Let's go, let's see some D now.

Come on, let's see some D.

What a klutz.

Coach.

Coach, why bother?

I mean, this kid could trip and hurt himself.

Or worse, he could fall on me.

Let me ask you something.

Do you dress yourself in the morning?

Or do a couple of guys come in and help you?

Ben, you got a big mouth.

You see, this is how it's done.

Yeah, I think I get it now.

Yeah, that's it.

Come on now.

Yeah, good, good.

All right.

That's good.

That's good.

John, looks like you've played this game before, huh?

What did I tell you?

Before I was a kid, I was a kid.

What was the day, coach?

Look, we got a game on Friday.

You think you can make it?

Hey, coach, I'll be here on Thursday.

All right, guys.

We're on our way.

Yeah.

Johnny.

Hi, Jack.

What are you doing here?

Get home now.

Come on.

I want you home now.

Sorry, coach, but like I said, I can't tell you, too.

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Here's some veggies, Mrs. Brickley.

So anyways, his father comes into the gym, orders
in home, and all of a sudden I lose my star center!

Then why would he do that?

That's the most interesting part of the story.

Now, would anybody like some more rolls?

Me, me, me!

We've never had rolls like this at Yale, I tell you.

The dorm food there... Roger!

You were telling us a story.

Yeah, you want to finish it before I'm on Social Security?

Where was I?

Johnny's father came into the gym and chased him home.

Right.

So anyway, I finally found out why.

Why?

On a hunch, I checked Johnny's medical records.

It seems that Johnny has epilepsy.

Oh.

I told you there was a very special reason why, huh?

That's right.

That's right.

Aunt Marion, this is the best
meatloaf I have ever... Wait a second.

Wait a second.

That's it?

Well, this is all I cooked, Howard.

I'm not talking about that, Marion.

I'm talking about this boy, Johnny.

You're willing to leave it at that?

Well, Howard, if he has this condition...
Well, that doesn't mean anything, Marion.

Matt McKechnie has epilepsy and he's on our bowling team.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Well, what do you want him to do?

Just sew it on his bowling shirt?

He seemed like such a nice man.

He is a nice man, Marion.

Now, look, I have talked to him about
this, and he tells me that exercise is

good for most people that have this condition.

Wait, look, I don't want to put a
damper on what you're saying there, Mr.

C, but don't they, um, you know,
have those, um... Seizures, Miles.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they're called seizures.

But usually they can be controlled with medication.

Matt's only problem is that when people
find out what he's got, they get hysterical.

I'm not hysterical.

I like the kid.

Me neither.

Well, I was for a minute.

But I'm not... Not now.

Well, look, if this is true about the medication and
everything, then I think somebody should talk to, uh, Johnny.

And maybe his father.

We're not talking somebody.

We're talking me, right?

Well, Fonz, you are the only sensible choice.

Yeah, well, before I do anything,
I'm going down to the library.

I'm going to read up on his epilepsy
before I talk to his father.

You have a library card?

And that's for the whole library?

The library, not just the tooting section.

Fillmore Games this week, right?

Right, Friday night.

Well, I'm going to announce it.

It's, uh, it's a tradition.

When did that become a tradition?

This year.

Hey, a tradition's got to start sometime.

See you guys.

Hey, Fonz.

Yeah?

I'm going to announce the game Friday night.

I'll be there anyway.

Good sense of humor.

Listen, would you want to talk to me?

Talk to him?

Yeah, talk to him.

And?

I told him, you've got a problem with your father.

You let your father talk to me.

Oh, Fonz, I don't think you should have
put it quite that way.

Why not?

His father looks like a pretty tough guy.

And big.

Guys, what does big and tough mean to me, huh?

Nothing.

What are you talking about?

Who's Fonzarelli?

You said big.

You didn't say pig.

Are you Fonzarelli?

That's right, I'm Fonzarelli.

You tall?

I'm John's father, and I'm pretty ticked off at you, pal.

Oh, yeah?

You got that book on epilepsy?

Uh, no, Fonz, but I could tell you
anything you'd like to know.

I wasn't going to read it.

I was going to stand on it.

I don't need any lectures on epilepsy from
some shop teacher.

Whoa.

I read all the books.

He's my son, and I don't want him taking any chances.

He's not taking any chances.

What did you say?

Nothing, nothing.

It's, uh, it's better if you talk to one person.

Mr. Barnett, let's sit down any way you
like and talk about John.

You know, this is much better here.

We're eye to eye.

Now, let's talk about your son.

I'm glad you agree he's mine.

I'm not here to take your son away from you.

I'm here talking about sh**ting some baskets.

sh**ting a few baskets, huh?

That's right.

What happens while he's sh**ting a few
baskets he has a seizure?

Look, I talked to the trainer.

He knows how to handle it.

Okay, so the trainer handles it and my son's okay.

What happens afterwards?

After?

After 2,000 people, all the kids he's gone
to school with, watch them have the

seizure, and he has to face them the next day.

How does your trainer handle that?

Let me ask you a question.

Is John aware of all this stuff?

Sure.

Yes, he is.

I had a talk with him.

It's his life, and he wants to make a
choice on how to live it.

Listen, I believe that he won't have a seizure.

If he does, he won't.

He won't be ashamed of it.

He told me that.

And I agree 100%.

I think so, too.

But what do I know?

All his life, I've been trying to protect him.

Me, I'm the one.

Right.

Now everybody's coming down on me.

His mother, now you guys.

Sure, he can play.

He can do anything he wants.

I'll sign your consent form.

You won't regret this.

Yeah, right.

But if anything happens to the kid, it's on your heads.

I'll sign your consent form.

I'll sign your consent form.

Six seconds left on the clock.

Okay, guys, great game so far.

Now, look, we're down by one point.

We've got six seconds left.

We've got to get the ball out to Chach.

Chach, you take that ball and you drive the middle.

John, if your man drops back to double
team and you break for the hoop,

Chach, you get the ball under him up for a
layup, and we got it.

Easy as that, all right?

John, you got it?

John, you got it?

What?

Oh, yeah, if I'm open, break to the basket.

Something wrong, John?

No, uh, I just... I just wish my dad was here.

He's here.

He came in ten minutes ago.

This is Potsie Warren Weber, game side, signing off.

Well, what do you think?

Listen, son, when you got the
ball in the low post, you were

holding it down so those little
guys could steal it from you.

You can't do that.

They're pretty good.

Look.

Careful.

Try to take it from me.

Oh, it's okay.

We'll work on it tonight, buddy.

Did you enjoy the game?

I loved it.

And you're not worried about what might happen?

No.

It doesn't really matter.

I'm real proud of you, son.

I'm real proud of you, son.

I'm real proud of you, son.

I'm real proud of you, son.

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I'm Matthew Lesko, and my new book will
tell you how to tell bill collectors to go shove it!

My new book shows you 4,000 government programs that
you can use to pay your bills and get out of debt forever!

Get $2,000 to pay your rent or mortgage!

Or $600 to pay your phone bill!

Or even $7,000 to pay your credit card bills!

I've been researching government grants
for over 25 years, and government

officials don't even know about these programs,
and you've never seen a book that's so easy to use!

Here's a program to pay for your
prescription drug bills, or a program to

pay for your living expenses, or programs to pay for your
housing bills, apartment bills, or even your student loans!

Over 80% of the people in the United
States, including millionaires, are eligible!

Isn't it about time you get rid of your
debt once and for all?

If you don't use these programs, somebody else will!

So call now, and get free money to pay your bills!

Call 1-800-982-6688 now.

Hey, can I take a shot?

Sure.

You know, I never saw him that happy before.

Yeah?

You were right.

Yeah, it's a gift.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

Do you ever make mistakes?

I overslept once.

Oh, my...

Goodbye grey sky, hello blue, nothing can
hold me when I hold you.

And feeling so right, it can't be wrong,
rocking and rolling all week long.

These days are all happy and free,
these days are all right...

Next up, I Dream of Jeannie.