08x16 - Potsie on His Own

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Round and round, round and round, up and down.

Round and round and up and down.

One, two, three, kick.

One, two, three, jump.

I don't care.

Clarence, I don't care how hot it's in
that kitchen, you put your clothes on.

What a sight.

Al, if Potsie comes in, you haven't seen me.

I don't want to talk to him.

I know I don't.

Why are you hiding from Potsie?

Oh, he's just been driving.

He's driving me crazy.

Lori Beth!

He's here.

Hey, Al.

I haven't seen her.

Excuse me, Al.

Lori Beth.

Hi, Potsie.

Look, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

All right, Al, what's going on here?

All I want is an introduction to a roommate.

Is that asking so much?

That's not asking too much.

Yes, it is, Al.

She's not his type.

Why should I set something up that's going
to be a disaster?

Well, she's got a point there, Pots.

Who's right, Al?

Come on, I'm right.

You know I'm right, Al.

Come on.

Please, I can't take this pressure.

What do I know?

Come on.

Courtney's not your type.

She went to school in Europe.

Her family spends summers in Switzerland.

She has a lodge.

A large what?

Oh, a lodge.

She's been going out with older men in their 30s and 40s.

Men who have lived.

I've lived.

I mean recently.

Yeah, I know what I'm saying.

Now, have you seen Clarence?

Okay, okay, I'll take care of it.

Clarence, they're our health boss.

Pots, there you are.

We're looking all over for you.

Well, you found me.

Oh, that's cute.

Listen, just let me in.

Pots, Pots, do you know that you're two
months behind in your rent?

Huh?

Now, my mom is getting pretty upset.

Look, I hate to do this, but she says either you pay her
by tomorrow or you have to find someplace else to live.

Potsie.

Potsie.

You're so far behind.

Have the money by tomorrow, all right?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to dress Clarence.

What a job I got.

I only have about 20 minutes to study before I get to work.

No, you can't go, you can't go.

We got to talk about Courtney, please.

One introduction, just one introduction.

All right, I'll tell you something.

I want you to declose yourself right now.

You never wear your outer clothing inside, thank you
very much, because you get sweaty, thank you very much.

You go outside, and you get ammonia.

You sound like a parent.

I sound like a parent?

I look like a coat rack.

Hey, everyone here, hold on to my kid's
clothes right here, nice.

I owe you one, you're very cute.

Hey, this is a really nice place.

Yeah, n*zi socks off, don't it?

This is what we do on music, you know, beep-bop-baloo.

Let us not touch what we don't own.

You touched the girl outside.

When they beg, it's different, you know.

You really own half of this place?

I own the whole half, huh?

Well, this is my table right here.

Hey, Al, come out here.

Yeah, Fonz.

And this very tubby, jovial guy is the
owner of the other half.

And who is this?

I'm Joey.

I'm Joey's big brother.

Brother?

Yeah.

Fonz, that's wonderful to think that after
all these years, you two follow each other.

Oh, the searching, searching, searching.

Al, Al, get a grip, get a grip.

We're talking a big brother program,
you know, big brother program.

You get a little kid, you take care of him.

You hang out with him.

You talk to him.

Yeah, that sounds great.

Hey, do you think I could be a big brother?

Well, yeah, you could be a very big brother.

Okay, if I show up in the kitchen?

How's Clarence?

Well, she's dressing me.

I don't know.

Let's go, Joey.

Don't play with any sharp things.

I won't.

One introduction.

How many favors have I done you through the years?

Lori Beth, please, I'm begging you.

Just one, one little favor.

Just one.

Oh.

Hey, I must be in high gear or something.

I was talking to them.

Very nice to see you.

Catch you later.

I like that.

All right, listen.

Is she still nagging you about going out with Courtney?

Yeah.

I know if she'd meet me, she'd like me, Fonz.

You know that deep in your heart?

In my heart.

Would you get Mr. Romance a date with your roomie, please?

Oh, Fonz.

I promise, if he makes a mess, I'll smooth it over.

Okay, if you say so.

I say so.

Thanks, Fonz.

Thanks.

Thanks, Fonz.

Don't tell her I'm dying to meet her.

Have her bump into me accidentally.

Fine, I'll have her hit you with her car.

Rocky.

All right, now.

Is your little life all together now?

Do you feel better?

Well, not really, Fonz.

I got to move tomorrow.

Guess where I got to live?

Thrill me.

In my parents' garage.

That's really terrible.

You know, if there's anything I could do.

You can help me move.

Why don't I think before I speak?

Yeah, all right.

You mean like lugging?

Oh, lugging heavy boxes.

Please, Fonz.

Yo, come on.

Let's get out of here.

Well.

Clarence's dress, Fonz.

It's embarrassing.

Yo.

Thanks, Big Al.

He has a great kitchen.

He let me flip burgers.

Yeah, sure.

Use your sweater for the grill.

Come on, let's get out of here.

We got a big day tomorrow.

Yeah, what are we going to do?

We're going to help.

Potsie, move.

Tell me one more time, Fonz.

Why are we doing this?

Hey, sometimes you do things for the
unfortunates in the world, eh?

And trust me, he is the most unfortunate you ever met.

Fonzie, I got a problem.

Hey, your problems are my problems.

Spill it.

Well, the other day, me and my friend
Jimmy were playing catch.

Yeah.

He threw the ball and broke a window at school.

And I got blamed for it.

And now I can't go on a trip to the zoo
with the rest of the class.

And I really love zebras.

Yeah.

And so if I keep quiet, I miss the zoo.

Yeah.

But if I tell the truth, I'm a snitch.

What's right?

Very good problem.

Very good problem.

I'm going to give you a solution.

All right, I'm listening.

Not right now.

I got a lot of thoughts up here,
and I got to push the right ones up front.

You know what I mean?

Hey, listen, take that last box down to the truck.

I'll be with you in a flash, all right?

Oh, hey, you're quick on the trigger.

Come on.

Look.

Potsie.

Potsie.

Potsie, come on.

I hope that sniffling doesn't mean you're
going to miss this bird bed.

Great memories here, Fonz.

All right, I must have missed them all.

Did I ever tell you about the time Ralph blew me to my bed?

No.

Great times.

Now I've got to move into my parents' garage.

Blow.

Blow.

Blow.

Come on.

I promised you like a half an hour,
you know, not a lifetime.

Oh, Fonz, that's too heavy.

No, it's not too heavy.

No, I'll get Chachi to help.

It's not too heavy.

Sorry I can't help you, Fonz, but you really
hurt my neck when you threw me up the stairs.

The next time you drop a refrigerator on my
foot, remind me not to be so crammy, all right?

I understand, Fonz.

Sure it's not too heavy.

No!

Hey, is Fonz all right?

You didn't drop the refrigerator on him again, did you?

Don't be stupid.

How many refrigerators do you think we have?

I don't know.

Yeah, look, Pots, my mom wants you to go
upstairs and sign the IOUs, all right?

Hey, you know something, Chachi?

Ralph and I had great times here.

When you're old enough, I'll tell you about them.

I'll count the days.

The man is definitely not getting his
cleaning deposit back.

Hey, hi, Lori Beth.

Hi, Chachi.

This is my friend Courtney.

Hi.

Is Potsie around?

Yeah, he just went upstairs.

I'll go get him.

Oh, thanks.

Why don't you two make yourselves comfortable?

See you later.

Comfortable?

Are we supposed to sit on the radiator?

Lori Beth, what are we doing here?

I told you I came by to borrow a book from Potsie.

Richie's friend, the good-looking one.

Hmm.

Okay.

Yeah, he is pretty cute, but he seems like such a boy.

Well, what's wrong with boys?

Men are better.

Oh.

Hey, Lori Beth.

Hi, Potsie.

This is my roommate Courtney Hyatt.

Oh.

Pleased to meet you.

Charmed.

Yeah.

Could you excuse us just for a second?

Yeah.

How could you bring her over when they look like this?

Don't worry about it.

Just act like a man.

Yeah.

Um, I told her I came over to borrow a book.

What book?

They don't know?

Oh, a book.

Right.

Good.

A book.

I'll get you a book.

A book.

Excuse me, Courtney.

A book.

Uh, wrong book.

Uh, oh, here it is.

Oh, thanks.

Captain Blubber?

This issue isn't worth much time.

It's now, and someday it'll be worth even less.

He's funny.

Good-looking and funny.

Uh, your parents have very interesting taste.

I don't live with my parents.

Really?

Yeah.

I thought for sure you were one of those
boys who still lived with his parents.

Kid stuff.

Well, that's very refreshing.

All the college boys I know live at home or in the dorm.

I even met one guy who lives in his parents' garage.

What a geek.

I like a man who can take control of his life.

Well enough to go out with?

Sure.

Why don't you call me sometime?

Uh, how long will it take you to get home?

He's funny.

He's really funny.

I'm funny.

I'm charming.

I'm gonna move to my parents' garage.

No way!

Hey, hold your ground.

Hold your ground.

Very slowly tell me why you're unpacking
what we just packed up.

Oh, Fonz, bring it all back.

I'm staying.

Uh, listen, uh, Joey, why don't you do me
a favor, you know, and kind of go up to my

cousin's apartment, maybe, you know, like
call an ambulance or something like that, right?

What are you telling me that you're staying here?

I can't help it, Fonz.

I can't move.

You can't move?

No.

Are you crazy?

We packed this all up for no reason.

Afraid so.

That's all enough.

I'll take you up to the roof.

Fonz, I did it for a woman.

A woman.

That's my soft spot.

What woman?

Courtney Hyatt.

No.

Yeah, LB brought her over.

She said she'd go out with me.

I told her I lived alone and she was impressed.

Her eyes work and everything?

Yeah.

Fonz, she made me take a good look at myself.

You know, I can't move in with my parents now.

It would be a big step backwards.

Fonz, I can't do that to myself.

I gotta stay.

How you gonna, how you gonna pay for this
bird bath, for this palace here?

I can get quick cash.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

She's gonna pay for this.

All right.

My ears have perked.

Tell me.

I didn't think I'd have to do it, but now I got no choice.

Okay, this better be on the up and up.

Let me know.

Fonz, I never thought I'd have to stoop this low.

What is it, Fonzie?

I can't tell anybody.

Not even you, Fonz.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Captain Blubber.

Everybody likes leprechauns.

In fact, everybody should go out and look for leprechauns.

There's no such thing as a leprechaun.

They don't even know what a leprechaun is.

We ain't gonna find any leprechauns.

Leprechauns are very shy.

The leprechaun is a mythical creature,
like in a storybook, like pixies and elves.

And they have little beards and wear green hats.

Yoo-hoo!

Hooray for leprechauns!

Leprechauns.

If you want to see leprechauns, or cowboys,
watch Bonanza every afternoon at 1 on TV Lab.

Leprechaun, leprechaun, leprechaun.

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Puff the magic.

I got a problem.

I need your help, all right?

Joey's friend down at the school throws a
ball right through the window.

Joey can't go on a trip to the zoo.

He loves zebras.

What do I do?

Oh, that one.

You heard this one before.

A million times.

All right.

All kids have this problem at school.

Now, what you got to do is to tell Joey to
confront his best friend, and if the

friend won't take the blame for throwing
the ball, then Joey should tell his

teacher on the friend because that kid is
not his best friend.

Freaks of genius, Mr. Seuss.

You are a great parent.

Well, you know, I've had a lot of practice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anything else?

Ah, the kid's got like a few, you know, girl problems.

Well, I can handle that, too.

Oh, come.

Richie had problems with girls at that age?

No, I did.

I'll handle that, Mr. Seuss.

Yeah, you better handle it.

Yeah, that's good.

Okay, Howard, let's go.

Roberta's waiting.

Okay.

Well, bye-bye.

Bye.

Okay, Fonz, over here.

Lock up for me.

I will.

We're playing bowling.

Mixed doubles.

Mixed doubles.

Good.

Bye, Al.

Look at this.

Lori Beth, take two, please.

Oh, thanks.

Thank you very much.

Fonz.

Yeah.

Potsie's here, and he still hasn't told us what his job is.

That's all right.

I mean, a man's entitled to some privacy, you know?

Because he's keeping a secret don't mean
he's doing something bad.

I mean, maybe, you know, he's singing or
something like that.

Why would he keep that a secret?

Because maybe he's singing for the CIA.

Right?

Well, I can't.

I can't help it.

I worry about people.

I need to know what he's doing.

You keep pushing him, he's going to get angry.

Come on, Courtney.

I'll drop you off on the way to work.

Oh, is the campus near where you work?

Don't ask.

Have a good time, kid.

Thanks.

Oh, wait a minute.

Potsie, um, where are you going?

Now, I asked you very nicely, Lori Beth.

No questions.

Hey, Pots, where are you going?

Where am I going?

What am I doing?

Oh, you just keep pounding me.

Hounding me, hounding me, hounding me, hounding me.

Hounding me.

Maybe it was how I said it.

Hey, Potsie, where are you going?

This is all right to me.

Yeah, hey, Professor, you want some cappuccino?

Yeah, thanks, Pots.

All right.

I'll tell you something.

We got to keep off his back, you know?

He is going to get crazy.

Yeah, the man is positively paranoid.

I suggest you stay out of his life, you understand?

Do not meddle.

Fonz, uh, you followed Potsie yesterday like you told us.

Excuse me, Fonz, but was it not your
recommendation that we don't meddle in his life?

No.

My recommendation was... No, it
was that you don't meddle in his life.

All right.

Two bigs, here we go.

Well, I took Jenny with me because she's
used to following men.

Yeah, right.

Well, Potsie left his apartment wearing
dark glasses and a bag over his head.

How do you know he's wearing dark glasses?

Well, he's wearing them on the outside.

All right, we know it's Potsie.

Okay, he took the 3rd Avenue bus to Stephen Street.

He changed three times.

He changed bags twice.

He followed downtown and then... And then what?

Then we saw these darling little shoes in the window.

Pointy toe, stacked heel, cute little things.

What color were they?

I wanted them blue, but they didn't.

Oh, you're making me mad.

Oh, I love you.

We're talking shoes here and you lost a
man wearing a paper bag?

Oh, they were so cute.

I'm sorry, you want us to follow him again tomorrow?

No, no, no, it's over.

It's finito.

Oh, but Fonz... No, I'm not kidding.

I feel a little bit bad that we followed
him in the first place, all right?

It's over.

Forget it.

Okay.

I gotta go.

Hey, Fonz, who's the lucky lady?

No lady, no lady.

Joey's birthday.

I'm taking him to Uncle Bobo's Ice Cream
Emporium, you know?

All right.

I want to taste something.

They got that ice cream there with little marshmallows.

You gotta dig them out like a treasure hunt, you know?

I love it.

I love it.

All right.

Let's get in it, Fonz.

Wow.

This place is neat-O.

I want to taste a little bit of kid heaven right here, huh?

Welcome to Uncle Bobo's Birthday Emporium.

I have a table right down here.

In the middle, we're all the fun.

All right.

We'll sit right here.

I'll be right back.

I have to go and visit Mr. Kitchen.

No, no.

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh.

Fonz, I almost forgot to tell you.

I did what you said.

Yeah?

And Jimmy told the teacher that he was the one
who threw the ball and broke the window at school.

Now I get to go to the zoo, and we're still best friends.

You're a genius.

I am.

I am a genius.

I am a genius.

I also happen to know a very high-class,
middle-class parent that helps me out.

I help him out every once in a while.

And what have we here?

Party!

One for the little boy, and one for the big boy.

Don't do that.

Oh, we have a stubborn big boy.

And we're going to have a very dead big clown here.

No hat.

It's Joey's birthday.

His birthday!

Everybody!

We have a birthday boy!

And here we have a special Lone Ranger mask.

Did you say Lone Ranger?

Uh-huh.

You got one for me, too.

I'll look in Mr. Closet.

And what does the birthday boy want to celebrate with?

What are you going to have, Fonz?

I'd love that ice cream.

You know, with all those little marshmallows in
there, and you've got to dig them out like a treasure hunt.

Marshmallows!

And for you?

Anything he wants.

Anything he wants.

Anything he wants.

All right, I'm going to make a little
visit to Mr. Restaurant.

All right?

All right.

I got just the thing for the birthday boy.

Mr. Birthday Cake, table nine.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, little fella.

Happy birthday to you.

One more time.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, little fella.

Happy birthday to you.

Oh my gosh.

I don't know what to say.

All right.

All right.

I missed the birthday cake.

Are you doing this for the CIA?

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Hey Vanessa, I'm home.

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Baking.

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Well, thanks for helping me clean up.

Now, if Roger decides to move in,
everything will be terrific.

Okay, now my daddy's sending you a ticket,
so we'll explain.

I expect to be seeing you next week in
Miami for the regatta.

Let me get one thing straight.

I don't sponge off anybody.

I'll buy my own ticket to Miami.

Oh, you drive me wild when you talk like that.

Oops.

Oh, that's okay, Rog.

I was just leaving.

Yeah.

Bye, Courtney.

Bye, Rog.

Bye, Courtney.

See you in Miami.

You'll have to excuse her.

I drive her wild.

Yeah, right.

So this is it, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The bedroom looks like it's only big enough for one person.

Oh, Ralph slept out here.

I was kind of looking for my own bedroom.

Some guys like that.

Yeah, well, Aunt Mary and Uncle Howard are
down in the car waiting for me.

They're going to help me look for apartments today.

Oh, that's nice.

Nice.

They're driving me crazy.

They have to come see every apartment I look at.

They're the nicest people in the world,
but they treat me like a nine-year-old.

They won't let me out of their sight half the time.

Oh, hi.

Oh, hello, Warren.

Hi.

Who won't let you out of their sight half the time?

Um, this couple I stayed with in college,
they treated me like a nine-year-old.

Well, they sound just awful.

Can't they see that you're all grown up?

You can take care of yourself.

Now, Roger, just zip up, Kajak.

Now, we've got to hurry.

We have so many more places to see.

Yes, Marion.

Bye, Roger.

This is where you and Ralph have been
living right up until he went in the Army?

Yeah, but I'm all alone now.

Lucky guy.

Thanks.

Not you, Ralph.

No.

Days after days are lost by grace.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right.

It can't be wrong.

Next on The Brady Bunch, poor Benedict Arnold.

You know, you make one mistake and then short-sighted people
like Peter Brady refuse to play you in the school play.

Will they ever forgive you?

Stay tuned for episode 80, next, right here on TV Land.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.