08x14 - Hello, Mrs. Arcola

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Come on, we're goin' to Cirque City, there's a two-in-one.

We're goin' to Cirque City, gonna have some fun, you know.

Oh!

Hey, what's up?

Hey, we can go see the blog.

Is it any good?

Yeah, I saw the movie.

It's about a big ball of icky, icky.

It's disgusting.

It rolls all over town, just sucks up everything inside.

Swipe.

What are you guys gonna have to eat?

I'll pass, Al.

Give me the same, Al.

Whatever you do, don't go see Psycho.

Why not?

Clarence saw it, he hasn't taken a shower since.

He bathes in the sink.

Yeah.

All right, Clancy, which one?

How about the girl by the jukebox?



Thank you.

Hi, Fonz.

How you doing?

A little date night right here in the old mall shop, huh?

I want to tell you something, old Rocko
saw your two little American faces.

He put you right on the spot.

He put you right on the cover of Saturday Evening Post.

Yeah?

What are Potts and his friends doing?

All right, Potts, come here, talk to him, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, you see, I'm doing the study on
Fonzie's power over women.

Yeah.

I'm either going to call it exceptional extrasensory attraction
capabilities of h*m* sapiens or how to pick up girls.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're talking, it's a bother here, you understand?

It's for science.

I mean, my name could go right up there,
you know, like Louis Pasteur.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, the man who invented milk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll see you later, all right?

Uh, Chachi, let's forget the movie.

Why don't you come over to my house and we'll watch TV?

Oh, great.

Oh, but on second thought, I better not.

Your father's been dropping hints lately
that I shouldn't come over so much.

Hints?

Like what?

Oh, like when he said, Chachi, don't come over so much.

Okay, let's go over to your house and watch TV.

Oh, no, we can't.

Why?

My TV's broken.

You said you watched the basketball game last night.

What?

Joanie, I just want to see a movie, all right?

Well, why can't we just... Is that all right with you?

Well, what's wrong with you?

I've got trouble in paradise.

Jenny, we're having a discussion.

A private one.

I know.

Some people around here are just so nosy.

Go on.

You know, we've been going out a year and
I've never once been to your house.

Why?

Joanie, you've been to my house.

When?

Yeah.

Name one time.

Just one.

Just last week.

We doubled with Tony and Gloria and I had
to go back home because I forgot my wallet.

Remember?

Yeah.

Yeah, and you made us all sit in the car.

So?

You made her sit in the car.

Yeah.

Oh, that's disgraceful.

Look, inside or outside, what's the difference?

You were at my house.

I've never met your mother.

You have never introduced her to your mother.

You know, that's just rude.

Jenny, don't you have something else to do?

No.

Didn't the fleet get in yet?

Not until tomorrow at nine.

Come to think of it, it's not so unusual
that he hasn't introduced you to his mom.

Huh?

I've been dating Eugene and he hasn't met my parents.

Thank you, Jenny.

There, you see that?

Well, why haven't you introduced him to your parents?

Because I'm ashamed of him.

You know something?

If you start swimming now, you can meet the fleet early.

I was just trying to help.

Solve your own problems.

Thank you.

How long have you felt this way?

What way?

How long have you been ashamed of me?

Joanie, I'm not ashamed of you, okay?

You're getting emotional.

I am not getting emotional.

All right?

If you're not ashamed of me, then
introduce me to your mother.

I'm not ashamed of you.

I'm here with you in public, aren't I?

I mean, I haven't asked you to wear a bag over your head.

A bag over my head?

No!

Here's your ring.

Listen, if you're too ashamed of me,
then we have no relationship.

Goodbye.

Joanie, wait.

Yeah?

This is yours.

I never gave you a ring.

That figures.

Why would you give a ring to someone you're ashamed of?

Nice going.

Nice going, Romeo.

Here you are.

All right, come here, sweetheart.

I heard the whole story you broke up with Chachi, right?

That's right.

I can't believe what a bonehead he is.

You understand?

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Details like that don't mean nothing.

What are you doing?

School research, Fonz.

This has nothing to do with me and chicks.

It has to do with me and Shortcake alone.

Shortcake's a chick.

Yes, that is.

That is right.

You see how much you learned in one night.

Take a break, all right?

This is Potsie Weber, signing off from the
frontiers of science.

Come on, guys.

I forgot to put the tape in again.

All right, what do we got here?

We got broken romance, right?

Romance on the rocks.

Tell me what it was.

He didn't like your dress.

He didn't take you to a place you wanted to go.

He got fresh with you.

You told me I'd take care of it.

None of the above.

How about this?

Yeah.

Your cousin, Chachi, is ashamed of me.

No, come on.

You know that after a year, he still refuses to let me
come to his house or to introduce me to his own mother?

Let me get this straight.

You never met my Aunt Louisa?

Is that her name?

You know what kills me?

Here are these guys here from college that
they're researching me for science.

I got a cousin who don't take the benefit
of knowing me in person.

Where is that Fonzarelli finesse?

No idea.

Hey, sweetie pie, I'm going to take care
of this for you, all right?

Really?

Give me a kiss right there.

Thanks, Fonz.

Hey, Chachi, you see my cleats?

Yeah.

Yeah, right here with the Gonzo.

Okay.

Big game today.

Hey, we're playing Army.

President Coolidge is going to be there.

Oh.

Have fun.

Oh, I forgot my walnuts.

Can't have a game without walnuts.

There you go.

Hey, good pass.

See you later.

Chachi.

Hey, Fonz.

Yeah, how you doing?

What are you doing here?

You speak to Joan here?

Of course I spoke to Joan.

And you fix things up?

Yeah.

Oh, that's great.

No, this is great.

You're great.

Yeah.

Where's Uncle Gonzo?

Where else?

Of course.

Hey, Gonzo.

Hey, Fonz.

How's the game?

Hasn't started yet.

The referees haven't shown up.

All right, no long passes, you understand?

Is he dressed?

Yeah.

See, he's getting better.

Fonz, how'd you fix things up with me and Joanie?

Well, very simple.

I asked them all to come over here
tomorrow night for dinner.

Here?

Yeah.

For dinner?

Yeah.

During my lifetime?

Yeah.

Fonz, are you crazy?

They can't come here for dinner?

Why not?

Because.

Because my mother's having surgery.

Ann Louise is sick?

Oh, did I say surgery, Fonz?

I meant a bridge party.

Bridge party?

Yeah, you see, a bridge party made up of
some of her friends who've had surgery.

That's why I got confused.

Very natural mistake.

So it can't be tomorrow night.

Maybe some other time.

I'll handle all the details.

Bye, Fonz.

All right.

Fonzie!

Ann Louise!

You look very healthy.

Oh, come on, I look awful.

You kidding?

Boy, that Potsie Weber called me downstairs
to his apartment to help him fix his car.

I explained to him he doesn't have a garbage disposal.

Taste this, honey.

Here, have a little bit.

Come on, have some more.

A little, little, little good.

Anyhow, Potsie is cramming garbage down his sink and
turning the light on and off waiting for things to happen.

I'm telling you, managing an apartment
building is not all glamour.

Mom, I'll do that.

Oh, sweet.

Oh, is this a face, huh?

Is this a face?

Look, this is also a face?

Yeah.

I got faces.

I gotta ask you, are you busy tomorrow night?

Of course I am.

I'm busy.

I'm having tea with the queen.

Yeah.

That's good.

Listen, I took the Liberty of inviting all the Cunninghams
over here tomorrow night at 7 O'clock for dinner.

Oh, Fonzie, that's wonderful.

I've been trying to get Chachi to do that for a year.

Yeah.

I'll be right back.

All right.

I'm back.

Yeah.

You haven't eaten yet, have you?

No, but I haven't eaten.

No, you gotta have a little something.

Come on, come on.

You gotta eat a little something.

A little bit.

You don't want to get sick.

You know, you won't feel good.

Come on.

Sit down.

There you go.

There you go.

Eat.

You know what?

I'm so excited your girlfriend and her
family are coming over.

Oh, boy.

I know just what I'm going to wear.

Is that enough?

Juani.

Oh, this will be great.

Joanie's going to bring her parents here to meet my mother.

And my mother will talk about fixing people's toilets.

And then, then they'll get to meet Uncle Gonzo.

So what?

Is it where it got?

Fonz, the man is on the roof waiting for new Rockne.

He's not playing with a full deck.

Fine.

But he's going to be here to party.

I promise.

Fonz.

I don't want a man running around here like a
lunatic yelling, I've got to win one for the Gipper.

I love it when he does that.

But Fonz, you know, he leaves his walnuts
shells all over the place.

You know how that looks?

And then, then Mr. C will say,
oh, and where's Chachi's room?

And my mother will say, you're eating in it.

You know, I'm getting a picture.

You're not really ashamed of Joanie, are you?

It's just your mother, where you live, your family.

It's great.

Fonz, it's just that, I mean, they're
cutting hands like father knows best.

Yeah?

They have a perfect life.

Richie's got his own room, and he doesn't
even live there anymore.

Me?

I got an uncle that sits around in his
underwear all day, breaking walnuts on his head.

We'll be right back.

I'm back.

Let me tell you something.

You're ashamed of being poor.

That's exactly right.

And I want to tell you something else.

I'm ashamed of you.

You got a mother, you got an uncle who,
you got a mother, you got a roof over your head.

And everything is going to be fine unless you blow it.

All right.

All right, Fonz, I'll do my best.

That's what I want to hear.

That's the cousin I love.

What's the worst that could happen?

He's here!

He's here!

Coach Rockne, he's here.

I'm coming, Coach!

All those years he played football,
he should have worn a helmet.

He'll be all right, I take care of you.

I promise.

I promise he'll be good.

Andy Griffith, your show's been on TV land at 10 P.M.

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It's time someone else had a turn.

Yeah, you big dummy.

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How's the spaghetti sauce, honey?

Oh, it's good.

But you know what, Mom?

I think it might be a little too spicy for the Cunninghams.

See, they mostly have meat and potatoes.

Oh.

Oh, honey, relax.

They're just people.

They put their pants on one leg at a time,
just like everybody else.

Besides, that's my special sauce.

Let's see, me, Joanie, oh, I'm still short a chair.

I took my vest off so it would look like I
have another suit.

I wish I had another suit.

Josh, you can't get rid of that suit.

You just grew into it.

Mom, Mom, what is that?

A chair.

I got ingenuity.

Mom, it's not a chair.

It's an end table.

That's perfect.

It's right at the end of the table.

Glasses, plates.

Plates.

Chairs.

Mom, nothing matches.

Nice variety, huh?

Nice.

It looks like the back room of a pawn shop.

They'll think they're having dinner at a garage sale.

Chachi, it's all you've got.

What's the difference?

A plate is a plate.

A glass is a glass.

It doesn't matter.

They're coming here to have food and meet your family.

Look, I don't go Gonzo.

I need one more chair.

Oh, tell the Gonzo he has got to wear his
pants to dinner tonight.

Uncle Gonzo's not going to be here.

I sent him to the movies.

You gave Gonzo money?

No.

Mom, he'll be... He'll be all right.

You've given him money before.

He spends it all on walnuts.

I know.

All right, you stir the sauce and put my nice dress on.

Hi, kiddo, what's up?

Oh, that's nice.

Uncle Gonzo.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be at the movies.

You didn't give me enough money.

You blew it on walnuts, didn't you?

What's a movie without walnuts, huh?

Want some?

No, Uncle Gonzo, we're having dinner.

Look, I'll tell you what.

I'll give you all the money you have, all right?

Now, please, just promise me you'll go to the movies.

I'll go straight to the movie.

There you go.

All right, let's hurry up or you'll miss the cartoon.

Okay, cool.

What's playing?

Roadrunner.

Hey, that's my favorite.

Beep, beep.

Chachi?

Oh, Mom, you look great.

Aw, thanks.

Probably Uncle Gonzo.

Okay.

What, more walnuts?

Oh, hi.

There was a walnut salesman here a minute
ago, a real pushy guy.

Oh, that must have been that strange man we saw coming in.

He broke one open on my head.

Chachi, Chachi, where are your manners?

Invite them in.

Oh, come on in.

Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham, this is my mom, Louisa.

Oh, hi.

How do you do?

I've heard so much about you.

And this is, uh... Joanie.

Joanie.

Right, right.

Oh, Joanie, you're beautiful.

Oh, we've got another face here.

This is not the type of family that squeezes faces.

It's so nice meeting you, Mrs. Arcola.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, oh, please call me Louisa.

Louisa.

Everybody calls me Louisa.

I'll call you Howard.

I'll call you Marion.

You're a cute couple.

Oh.

I've just got to squeeze on the face.

Oh.

What about the, uh, sauce?

Oh, sure.

Anyone want a drink?

No, Mom, I make the meat sauce.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, come here, come here.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You know, just when Chachi's father,
rest his soul, used to come in,

the first thing he'd say was, hey,
Louisa, where's the sauce?

Oh, the man had no manners, but boy, could he kiss.

Chachi, he could.

Marion, you know what I mean.

You know what?

Let's sit down.

Come on, come on.

You sit, you sit.

Oh, be comfortable.

Come on.

Over here.

Come on, Chachi, sit down.

Sit, sit.

Good, good.

Oh, I wish I had a camera.

Oh, it's boiling, it's ready.

Oh, soup's on.

Oh, I love soup, soup.

Oh, we're not having soup, we're having spaghetti.

Soup's on is an expression I learned when
I was working at a logging camp.

Where would you like us to sit?

Oh, you sit at the head of the table.

Oh, that's nice.

Okay.

There we go.

You know, Chachi's worried about the plates don't match.

I say a plate is a plate.

I say a plate is a plate, am I right?

We say that all the time.

Yes, we do.

I don't know why we haven't done this before.

This is great.

Yeah, I'm tickled to death.

Okay, everybody, come on, dig in.

I hope you like it.

Oh, we will, won't we, Howard?

Oh, boy, we're going to love it.

It's my special sauce.

It's a little spicy.

Oh, we love spicy.

I'll get the bread.

We love bread.

Mmm.

Oh, Louisa, this is just great.

Oh.

It looks delicious.

Well, that's my mom, a great cook.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Marion,

what is wrong with you?

Howard, there's cayenne pepper.

Well, you're allergic to cayenne.

I know that, Howard.

Cayenne pepper makes you sick.

I know that, Howard.

Let's not make a fuss.

Well, here, drink some water, huh?

Nope.

That was wine, wasn't it?

Yes, would you like some more?

Oh, no.

Thank you so much.

Uh, where's the, uh...

Bathroom?

Oh, right, right through there.

Yeah.

Oh, here, let me help you.

You gotta keep the door shut with your foot.

She reacts to certain seasonings,
but the food is delicious.

She was too spicy, Mom.

Oh, Howard, you just go back and sit down.

Don't you want me to come with you?

Trust me, dear, this is an experience we can't share.

Hey, she'll be out in just a few minutes.

I've seen the movie and the cartoon.

Uncle Donzo.

That's the guy.

Uh, Uncle Donzo, this is Mr. Cunningham
and his beautiful daughter, Joanie.

Hey, you're a pretty big guy.

You ever play football?

Oh, a little bit in high school, yeah.

Oh, good.

Suit up.

You're going in for Zombrowski.

I'm going to what?

You're going in for Zombrowski.

You're going to have to excuse Uncle Donzo.

He played football with the Canton Bulldogs.

And never once did I wear a helmet.

Of course not.

Donzo, the Cunninghams came here to eat dinner.

Oh, how nice, how nice.

Pleasure to meet you.

Thank you.

Now tackle me.

Tackle me.

I don't know what.

All right, here.

Take the ball off, tackle you.

Right here.

Right back.

Oh, good.

Touchdown.

Don't worry, honey.

We have a great dessert.

Oh, I think I got all the walnuts off the floor for you.

Oh, thanks, Joanie.

You're a doll.

I only got one more chair to take back.

That Mrs. Johnson's so generous, she's
been standing up playing bridge all night.

All right, Uncle Gonzo, I'll be up in a little while.

Do you see now why I didn't want you over my house?

No.

Boy, it's kind of hard keeping the door
closed with your foot.

Mom, how are you feeling?

Oh, so much better.

Oh, I'm just so embarrassed.

I just ruined your mother's party.

The minute she mentioned spicy,
I should have told her about my allergy.

I hope she'll forgive me.

I'll forgive you.

You, this whole evening has been a disaster.

Oh, no, it hasn't.

Your mother is the most charming woman.

I'm just so glad I met her.

Thanks, Mrs. C.

Where's Gonzo?

He's up on the roof changing the scoreboard.

Look, Mr. C., I'm sorry about Uncle Gonzo and tackling him.

Oh, don't be, Chachi.

Look, he fixed my back.

Hasn't felt this good in years.

Besides, every family has an Uncle Gonzo.

In our family, it's Marion's Uncle Leroy.

He thinks he's shrinking.

Do we have to mention poor little Leroy?

Marion, do you feel better?

Oh, so much better.

Now, I want you and Chachi to come to have
dinner at our house next week.

And you must bring Uncle Gonzo.

We'll stock up on walnuts.

While we walk outside, let the kids stay
for a few minutes by themselves.

Good night, Chachi.

It was a wonderful evening.

Joanie, I was never ashamed of you.

I know that.

I was ashamed of other things.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Uncle Gonzo and his walnuts, your father's back,
your mother sticking her foot against the bathroom door.

Are you kidding?

But we had a wonderful time.

It all worked out.

Oh, and your mother was so nice to me.

All I care about is you.

And you know what else?

What?

You've got such a face.

Thank you.

I had a wonderful time.

See you tomorrow.

Okay.

Oh, thank you very much.

It was wonderful meeting you.

Hi, Joanie.

Oh, they're such nice people.

What was that for?

Because I love you, Mom.

Um, you've got such a face.

But this is the original face.

Do you suspect there might be more to Tony and
Angela's relationship than just employer-employee?

You're not alone.

I'm Tony Masselli.

I'm the housekeeper here.

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Boy, I just love beat the clock.

Yeah.

If the guy breaks all those water balloons
in 10 seconds, I'm going to beat the clock.

In 10 seconds, he wins the luggage.

Oh, I don't know why we're watching this program.

It's so boring.

Wait, they're starting.

Here we go.



I'm just so happy for his wife.

You're going to have to beat the clock.

Oh, I misbeat the clock there.

I bet they have water balloons.

Yeah.

So how'd it go last night, the Arcolas?

Oh, it was wonderful.

You know, we should have done that a long time ago.

Sure, sure.

And my young cousin thought it wouldn't go all right.

Hey, listen, I bought you over some presents here, huh?

Big end.

Oh, let's go.

Great.

You know, I'll tell you something.

There's only one way to eat these babies, huh?

Yeah, we know.

Yeah, we know.

These are the days of the five lucky days.

Next up, I Dream of Jeannie.

Next up, I Dream of Jeannie.