04x06 - The Jonah

[bunniefuu]

[knocks]

Morning, Nick.

Good morning.

I think our sign
is all wrong.

There's nothing wrong
with that sign.

Ah, the print's too small.
I just went by MacGarrett's,

and they're signing 'em
right and left.

Ah, well, that doesn't
have anything to do
with the sign.

Why don't you pour yourself
a cup of coffee?

I don't want any coffee,
I want men!

I have a whole fruit crop
to harvest, and MacGarrett
and the others

are signing 'em like
they're giving something
away for nothin'!

-Uh-huh.
-By the way...

are you questioning these
people like you're getting
'em ready for jury duty?

Jury duty?
What are you talkin' about?

Well, word is goin'
around town

that you're practically
cross-examining these people.

Now, look, Nicholas,
you said to me,
"get me the right men."

now, that's what
I'm trying to do.
Isn't that what you want?

I want men!
Any man who is ready,
willing, and able to work,

I would like to have!
Now, if you see one
of these,

grab him, hold him,
and sign him!

-But do me a favor, will you?
-What's that?

Don't ask 'em
any questions.

-All right, Nick.
-Fine.

Hi, Eli.
What you doin' here?

Oh, nothin'.
Just passing
through.

I heard down in Salinas
they're lookin' for hands
up here.

Oh, you can't believe
everything you hear,
Waldo.

Hey, look.
"welcome,
harvest hands.

Best pay.
Come in. Sign up now."

No, I-- I just
been in there.

They all signed up.
Have been for days.

-Yeah, but those men there.
-Oh, poor fools.

They're gonna get
the same sad story
I got.

-Yeah, but--
-I oughta tell 'em
to take this sign down.

I just oughta do it.
But I hear that there's
another place

right down the street
that's got a couple
of openings.

Now, why don't you
hurry on down there,
Waldo,

and get 'em before
they all taken up?

I'll run back in here,
I'll tell this feller
to take his sign down.

I'll meet you down there.
Now, go on, go on, go on.

Thanks, Eli.
Gee, thanks.

You sure are swell
to put me on to this.

Thanks, Eli.

Hey, what's the big idea?
That man's lookin' for work,
isn't he?

That's right.
You hire him,
and I quit.

Ain't a ranch
in California big enough
to hold the two of us.

-He looks harmless to me.
-Yeah?

He's worse
than any gunfighter
you ever heard of,

'cause with a gunfighter,
you got a chance to draw.

With him, there's no way
to defend yourself,

'cause you don't know when
nor where nor how it's comin'.

-What's his game?
-His game is bad luck.

He's a Jonah.

Last town he worked in
burned down the very day
after he arrived.

And the last ranch
he worked on,

the steers got mixed in
with the neighbor's sheep.

There had been peace
in that county for 10 years,

and the day he left,
there was a full-scale
range w*r goin' on.

-You don't say.
-Oh, Mr. MacGarrett,
I sure do.

Everywhere he goes,
there's trouble,

and nobody in his right mind
would work anywhere near him,

and that's a fact.

That's, uh...
Waldo... Diefen--

Deifendorfer.
Waldo Deifendorfer.

Once you repeat it
a couple times...

[chuckles]
I guess it's still
kinda hard to say.

[chuckles nervously]
Yes, well, good luck,
Mr. Deifendorfer.

You, too.
Lots of it.

Hey, now,
you boys stop that.

Now, cut it out.
One of you is gonna
get hurt.

Now, you cut that out.

Hey!
Now, give me that.

Now, get on home.
Yeah.

[glass breaks]

♪♪ [theme]

Whoa.

Say...

ain't this place somethin'.

You know, Penelope,
this could be the start
of a whole new life for us.

Let's go find the foreman.
Come on.

Prettiest sight
a cowboy ever did see.

Yes, he's beautiful.
Seems a shame to break him,
though.

Oh, don't you worry,
now, Miss Audra.

I wasn't hired
to ruin Barkley horses.

I'm just gonna bend
his spirit a little
to yours.

[neighs]

Sorry.

He'll catch him.

I don't know.

Oh, I'm Waldo Deifendorfer.

Audra Barkley.

-Oh, one of theBarkleys?
-Mm-hmm.

Gee, I'm sure glad all the
other ranches were filled
and I could come here.

I'm lookin' for the foreman.

That'd be my brother.

Nick!
Someone to see you.

Like I said, I'm sorry
about that horse that
ran away.

I hope it wasn't
my fault.

How could it be?
You were just passing by.

Sometimes
that's enough.

Yeah, Audra,
what do you have?

Uh, Nick, this is
Mr. Deif--

-Deifendorfer.
-How's that again?

I'm Waldo Deifendorfer.

-I signed up in town
to work here.
-Oh.

-I came up from Salinas where--
-Oh, well, I, um--

Well, I have a little speech--
it's short and sweet--

That I like to give
all the new hands.

That is, we, uh, expect this
to be our best season.

We like all our people
to work long, hard, and fast,

and get along with
the person next to 'em.

I like other people.

Well, you, uh--

Bunk in bunkhouse
number three.

It's up by the house.
Chow will be in 15 minutes.

Three? That could be
my lucky number.

Thank you, sir.
It's a pleasure
meeting you, Miss Barkley.

Stable your burro
in the barn.

Sir, could I stake her
at the bunkhouse?

Penelope likes to be
with me late at night,
and vice versa.

Uh, well...
yeah, suit yourself.
Go ahead.

I don't know...
I just don't know.

What?

I don't know.

Hi, fellas.
I'm Waldo.

Don't bother about me.
Just go on doin'
what you're doin'.

You can dump your gear
over there.

-Oh, thanks.
-Sure.

The name
is Hank Demers.

I'm sort of
put in charge here.

Glad to have you
with us.
Thanks.

Lots of give.
Nice.

Yeah, the Barkleys
got the best beds
in the valley.

-Chow ain't bad, either.
-Yeah.

You're lucky
to sign on here.

That's what I figure.

I'll get your
blankets out back.

Oh, you don't
have to bother.

Oh, it's no bother.
We all work together
here.

One big happy
family.

Say, uh...
don't I know you
from somewhere?

Uh-uh.

-You sure?
-Uh-huh.

I ain't never been
any place--

I mean that counts,
or anything.

What'd you say
your name was?

-Waldo.
-Your last name.

Um-- Deifendorfer.

Sounds kind of familiar.

Oh, there are lots
of Deifendorfers.
The world's full of them.

You got me mixed up
with one of those.
Somebody else.

Could be.

Tell me, Nick,
how are you coming along
with the harvest hands?

-Well, looks like we got
a full crew, but--
-But what?

You should know.
You hired him--
Deeppendapper.

-Deifendorfer.
-Whatever.

Brother Jarrod,
I told you to sign on
anybody,

scrape the bottom
of the barrel if you had to,

but come on--
Deeppendorper?

Deifendorfer.
Waldo Deifendorfer.

All right, all right.
But does he look like
a farmhand to you?

Now, Nick, what does
a farmhand look like?

Let's not have any
courtroom tricks,
lawyer man.

Would someone mind
letting me in on this?

-Well, brother Jarrod here
signed on, um--
-Deifendorfer.

Yeah, yeah.
Well, he doesn't know
a peach from a ripe tomato.

Now, Nick,
that's cruel.

Well, I should
think the point is,
can he do the job?

I'll lay odds
against it.

Nick, why don't you
stop picking on him?

He hasn't even had a chance
to prove himself yet.

Why don't you
at least wait and see?

Who knows?
You may be in for the
surprise of your life.

Got a surprise
for you, Penelope
sugar.

-Morning.
-Yeah.

Nice day.

Yeah, it sure is.

I'm glad you caught that
runaway horse yesterday.

Strange thing.

I can't figure it out.
That's the first time
one ever cut out on me.

Just can't figure it.

"Ours is not to reason why."
Don't you agree?

I guess.

[wagon approaches]

NICK: All right,
you men, let's go!

Waldo, that means you, too.
Come on.

If it's all the same
to you, Mr. Nick,
I'll ride Penelope.

You'll ride with
the rest of us.
Come on, get aboard.

If that's what
you want, sir.

[wood cracks,
horses neigh]

Three days have gone by
and it's been one thing
after another.

First, the transport wagon
collapses.

Well, equipment
wears out.

That was a brand new wheel.

And so was the axle
brand new.

And what about the next day
when the ladder folded up

and one of my men
busted his arm?

Don't tell me
anything about
that ladder,

because it happened
to be brand new, too.

-Seemingly.
-What about this afternoon,

when the freight wagon
backed up too far

and crushed 20 crates
of fresh-picked fruit?

-Amen.
-What is that supposed to mean?

What it usually means--
the end.

You've had your share
of mishaps, so now
it'll be clear sailing.

You really expect me
to believe that?

-I do.
-Wonderful.

Mother, do you realize
how many man hours
we have wasted?

Do you know how much money
it has cost us?

And do you happen to know
where that puts MacGa--

-MacGarrett!
-No.

-He could be responsible
for all this bad luck.
-Why, Nick--

I would not put it
past him!

Nick, I have known
frank MacGarrett
for over 25 years.

Then you oughta know
how he operates.

Oh, he's a tough
competitor,

-but he would never
do anything like that.
-That leaves who?

Why does it have
to leave anybody?

I'm telling you,
Sid, I got your call
this time.

Change in my luck.
My turn to get fat.

Raise you, Hank.

The tide has turned.

I see you...
and raise you
with all I've got.

Wouldn't be bluffin',
would you, Hank?

Gonna cost you to find out.
Like it's been costin' me
all night.

I've always been a gambler.
I'll see you.

Read 'em and weep.

Four treys with an ace.

Read these.

Straight flush.

Only way to beat
a hand like yours, Hank.

[laughs]

-It can't be.
-It is.

Four of a kind,
and you stilllose.

It just can't be.
I don't understand it.

I get beat,
one hand after another,
and now this!

[giggles]

Like a witch doctor's
been standin' over me
all night.

Guess I'd better
feed Penelope again.

So long, fellas.

Hi there.

Oh, hello.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.

I mean, for foolin'
around like this-- bare legged.

That's all right, Waldo.
I've seen a man's
bare legs before.

I have three brothers,
you know.

Right, yeah, well,
I'm glad of that.

Am I intruding?

Oh, no.

Perfect Sunday
afternoon.

Sure is.
I'm glad you rode by--

if you don't mind
my saying so.

Not at all.

Usually, the men go
into town Saturday night
and stay over.

Well, to tell you
the truth,

I kinda like to be alone
sometimes.

I think I know
what you mean.

-You do?
-Mm-hmm.

Funny. It doesn't make
a difference

where you are
or who's around.
You know what I mean?

Sometimes I feel
exactly the same way.

Me, too.
Of course, that's with
Penelope included.

Of course.

Still, it's nice to have
somebody to talk to.

Sometimes.
Like you, I mean.

There's some people
who make you feel
at home right away.

Like the first time
I saw you, Miss Audra.

I walked right up to you,
talked right to you.

I don't usually speak
to strangers,

especially
of the opposite sex.

But I must admit in your case
I made an exception.

And that's the honest truth.

I'm very flattered.

-You are?
-[horse approaches]

Hey, Miss Audra.
Been lookin' for you.

Remember that herd
of mustangs I was
telling you about?

-Yes?
-Well, they were spotted
headed north.

I think they're goin'
towards Box Canyon.
Wanna ride with me?

Do you really
think you can
find them?

Well, if I can't,
no one can.
Come on, let's go.

I'll see you
later, Waldo.

Uh-huh.

You know, Penelope,
if it wasn't your day off,

we'd go out after
those mustangs, too.

Hey, Sid.

How 'bout lendin' me
some of your hair tonic?
I'm all out.

What for?

What do you think for?

-You ain't goin' no place.
-[chuckles] Oh, no?

Goin' up to
the big house tonight.

Come on.
You couldn't get in
the back door.

And if you're talkin'
about Miss Audra--

That's exactly who
I'm talkin' about.

I'm takin' her
to the dance
on Tuesday night.

Sure.
Who said?

She did--
this afternoon.

In case you're interested
where, it was out
at Box Canyon.

I asked her,
and she said yes.

[giggles]
This I gotta see.

You come to the dance
on Tuesday night
and you willsee.

Where is he?
Let me at 'im.

I knew it.
I felt it!

-Where is he?
-Where's who?

Deifendorfer.
I told you there was somethin'
fishy about him, didn't I?

Oh, Hank, don't start
that all over again.

Just 'cause you lost
with four of a kind--

Yeah?
What about that transport
wagon breakin' down?

And Charlie fallin' off
that ladder?

And all those crushed crates
of fruits that took us hours
to pick--

It's all his doin'.
He's a jinx!

Sure.

Go ahead, laugh.

-Who's laughin'?
-MacGarrett's men are in town.

They're laughin' themselves
sick about it.

One of 'em palmed off
Deifendorfer on the Barkleys.
They know him from way back.

They've given him
a wide berth.

Now we're stuck with him.
Who knows what's gonna
happen next.

-Well, what do you aim to do?
-I don't know.

You want some advice?

Take it straight
to the Barkleys.
It's their crop.

Nick, you're not really
going to go through
with this silly test.

The boys in number three
are not kidding,
and by tomorrow morning,

it's going to spread
to the other bunkhouses,

and nobody's going to get
even nearthis Waldo.

Now, Heath is down
in Modesto,

and I've got this
whole ranch to run--
all by myself--

and I've got crops
to harvest and I'm not
taking any chances.

The little test
goes on.

Nick, the whole thing
is ridiculous.

I will not
let superstition
run this ranch.

Waldo wouldn't hurt a fly.

Talk all you want.
It doesn't change
a thing.

I happen to know
there are real
live Jonahs.

Now, don't ask me why.
I don't know.

It just-- It's just
the way it is.

Now, listen, sis...

people like Waldo,
they-- well, they don't
mean to hurt anybody.

It's just that, well,

calamity seems to
follow 'em around like
a hungry hound dog.

And I am going
to prove...

that Waldo Deifendorfer
is a born loser.

-[knocks on door]
-I'll get it.

Come in, Waldo,
please.

-Oh, my gosh!
-Oh!

I nearly broke her.

Somebody must have moved it.
It was in the way.

Oh, I don't know.

Nice place
you got here.
Big, too.

What is it your brother,
Mr. Nick, wants to see me
about?

Well, actually,
the whole family's
in there.

-They all wanna see me?
-Mm-hmm.

Well, what do you know.
What's it all about?

Well, it's a game, sort of.

Oh.

You know my brothers,
Nick and Jarrod.

Mr. Nick.
Mr. Jarrod.

And this is
my mother.

How do you do,
Mr. Deifendorfer?

Mrs. Barkley,
it's a real pleasure.
Also an honor.

Well, thank you,
Mr. De--

Friends call me Waldo.
Bosses, too.

Waldo, will you sit
down there and join us
for a minute here?

Oh, yes, sir.

We're gonna cut
for a high card.

Me?Mm-hmm.


Oh, I never gamble.

Well, there's no money
involved.

Then what?

Waldo, remember
I mentioned a game?

Oh, yeah.

All right.
I'll cut first.

[laughs]
A three.

Your turn,
Waldo.
Yes, ma'am.

JARROD:
A deuce.

All right,
let's try it again.

Uh, this time,
you cut first, Waldo.

-But--
-It's all right. Just cut.

A four.

It isn't over yet.

Well, it is now.
Read it and weep.

All right.
Once more.

Never tempt fate,
brother Jarrod.

A king!
Oh, Waldo,
that's wonderful.

It is?

Well, now, will you
lookie here at what
I drew.

Looks to me
to be an ace.

Enough?

I still say it doesn't
prove a thing.

Thank you, Waldo.
Thank you very much
for cooperating.

That's the game?
That's all?

That's all.

-Well, would you
like some coffee?
-Or some cookies?

Well, gee, thanks,
but I gotta get up early.

A man can't be tired
and do a full day's work.

The bosses might complain.
[chuckles]

Night, everybody.
Night, Miss Audra.

Ah ha ha ha!
Jonah!

Nick, now what
did that prove?

Three cuts of the cards
do not amount

to a run of bad luck
or the stroke of doom!

[vase breaks]

-No.
-Mm-hmm.

-That way.
-Oh, no. Oh, no!

This is a nice
big piece.

You'd better go now,
Waldo.

I guess I wasn't
looking where
I was going.

I'm sorry.
Night, folks.

Wonderful.

Now what do
you think?

I think it's broken--

But I don't think
it had anything to do
with being a Jonah.

I agree.

Well?

I'll, um, go along
with Jarrod and Audra.

-After that?
-Well, accidents happen.

What does it take
to convince you all?

A lightning bolt
from the blue?

Look, I don't know
about the rest of you,
but as far as I'm concerned,

this Mister Diefer--
what-- whatever his name is---

gets out of here, and now!

Oh, now, Nick,
I'm willing
to admit

that he doesn't exactly
move like a gazelle,

-but let's not be hasty.
-Hasty?!

Well, he is willing,
isn't he?

And honest and loyal.

And, um-- um--

Polite?

Whose side are you
all on, anyway?

Well,
just trying to be fair.

What do I tell the hands
out there?

They want me to get Waldo
off their backs!

Oh, I'm not worried
about that, Nick.

You'll find the right words.

Well... we'll...
give it another day
or two.

Attaboy, Nick.

After all, it can't
get any worse.

Who said?

See you later.
Take care.

I can take a hint.

Nobody has to hit me
over the head, do they,
Penelope?

Now, let's see,
Penelope...

we've got to make
some plans.

First, we'll...

why does it always
happen to me?

What do I do
that's so wrong?

[footsteps approach]

Oh, Miss Audra.
This is a surprise.

So is that.

Oh, I been planning to leave.
I've had the urge to move on.

You know what they say.
A rolling stone gathers
no moss.

Waldo, I'd like the truth.

The truth is it's best
that I leave.

We didn't ask you to.

They did.
Well, they didn't
exactly ask me to,

but they put my bags
out on the front porch.

Course, I don't consider it
anything personal.

Waldo, what does it take
to make you angry?

Why should I get mad?
Besides, it's not so bad.

You kinda get used to it
after a while.

[horse approaches]

Wait here.
I'll be right back.

-Don.
-Hey, don't you
look like something.

Clay Howard loaned me
his best carriage
and the horse you like.

I figured a girl
as beautiful
as Audra Barkley

should go to that dance
in style.

Don, I'm sorry.
I can't go.

Well, wha--
What do you mean,
you can't go?

-Something very important
has come up.
-Yeah, like what?

Well, it's personal, and--
and it's an emergency.

It's something I just
have to do.

There's a church dance
next month.

We could postpone things
till then, all right?

Thank you.
And I really am sorry.

It was all so unexpected.

Miss Audra, it's been
very nice knowing you.

If there's anything
I can ever do for you,
don't be afraid to call me.

Course, I never know
where I'll be, me with
the wanderlust and all.

-You're not leaving.
-I can't go back in there.

Even if they begged,
I wouldn't let you.

There's a room off the barn.
You can have your privacy,

and Penelope can have
her own stall.

Come on, I'll show you.

See you later,
Penelope.

Waldo, what do you
think of dancing?

-Well, I only tried it once.
-Once?

Well, you see,
I stepped on
this girl's foot.

Well, that happens
to practically
every man.

Not like me.
I broke her toe.

♪♪

Hi, friend.
Drinkin' alone, huh?

Little lady from
the main house leavin' you
waitin' at the gate?

Why don't you mind
your own business?

Look, friend, you was
the one who made it
everybody's business.

You was the one that
was braggin' as to how
you was gonna

bring Miss Audra Barkley
to the dance.

She was gonna come.

She was dressed
and ready to go.

She had to beg off
at the last minute.

Sure.
Fine with me.

I said, fine with me.

Look, no "fine with me."
she wasn't feeling well.

That's all there was to it.

They sure got, uh--
quick cures these days.

Now, I wonder what he's got
that you haven't.

[giggles]

Waldo, wait here.
I'll be right back.

-I wanna talk to him.
-Wait, let me explain.

Okay. You cancel me,
you came with him.

-What's to explain?
-It's not that simple.

-He was locked out
of the bunkhouse tonight.
-So?

Well, he hadn't
a friend in the world.

I just couldn't
leave it at that.

Fine for him,
but what about me?

Look, I asked you to
this dance, and everybody
here knows that.

-Don, I'm truly sorry, but--
-Yeah, you're sorry.

How do you think
it looks for me, huh?

You know the rough time
all these people are
gonna give me?

Don, you can handle it,
but Waldo has a problem.

Heaven knows how many places
he's been kicked out of--

how many backs have
been turned on him.

Someone has to show
they care.

Someone has to welcome him
back to the human race,
and I--

Well, I thought this
would be one small way.

[music ends, partygoers clap]

I'm sorry if I hurt you.
That wasn't my intention.

[music resumes]

Come on, Waldo.
Let's dance.

-Now?
-Now.

First, Miss Audra,
listen--

Do me one favor--
Be careful of your toes.
Please.

-Miss Audra?
-Yes?

Remember Sunday
out by the stream,

-when I told you how much
I like being by myself?
-Mm-hmm.

Well, I gotta
tell you now--

There are a lot of times
when I don't like it at all.

To tell you the whole truth,

most of the time
I don't like it.

Most of the times,
I like being someplace
where it's crowded--

where everybody's smiling
and having a good time

and liking each other,
like now.

To tell you the whole truth,

most of the time
I'm just plain lonely.

Waldo, to tell you
the whole truth,

so are a lot of people.

Tonight it's kinda hard
to tell the winners
from the losers.

Yeah? Well, I guarantee
you one thing.

When I get through,
you won't have
any trouble.

It was a lovely
evening, Waldo.

It sure was.
I never knew I could
be so light on your feet.

[chuckles]
That's a joke.

You don't have to make jokes.
You did very well.

And I really enjoyed myself.

-Good night.
-Sleep tight.

Audra, I'd like
a word with you.

Yes, Nick?

While you were out
dancin',

a delegation from
bunkhouse three
paid me a visit.

-If it's about Waldo--
-Who else?

This delegation was headed up
by your friend Don Jarvis.

It seems he wants to walk out
and take 15 men with him.

Why couldn't you have left
well enough alone, Audra?

Waldo's no stray dog,
you know.

Then why is he
kicked around like one?

Has that ever occurred
to you?

It occurs to me I have
two short weeks to get
that crop harvested.

And how I do it makes
the difference between
profit and loss.

You understand that?
It also occurs to me

that I have a responsibility
to the other men, and they
don't want Waldo around.

Then the problem's solved.
He'll stay in the room
off the barn

-and he won't be "around."
-No, no, no, no.

You still don't understand
what I'm getting at.

They don't want Waldo
in the orchards.

They don't want to work
with Waldo.

Everything occurs to you
except what Waldo may want.

-I'll pay him off.
-He won't take it!

-You think!
-He's not looking
for charity.

How do you know
so much about this?

All right,
that's enough,
both of you.

-Audra is right.
-Now, wait a minute.

And so are you,
in a way.

-So, I'd say a compromise
is in order.
-Such as?

-Well, it seems simple to me.
-Simple?!

The men will not work
with Waldo in the orchard.

We'll take him out
of the orchard.

And you, Audra,
you say he won't
accept charity.

All right.
We will find him
a legitimate paying job.

Now, there are plenty
of those this time of year.

I ask you,
what's wrong with that?

I'll tell you what's
wrong with it.

That's what's wrong with it.
He's still on this property.

This is my property, Jarvis.
This is Barkley property.

Have it your way.
But I want him off
of here, and fast.

-You want him off, huh?
-That's right.

I'm talkin' for these men.
It's their orders.

Well, I run this ranch,
Jarvis,

and I don't take orders from
you, them, or anyone else,

but I'll go along
with anyone to a point.

And I'm about up
to that point with you,
and that's where I stop.

[scoffs]
You better leave
a little room, Mr. Barkley,

'cause if he's not off
of here by noon tomorrow,

we will be,
and more will follow.

Well, now, let me
let you in on somethin'.

If you...
or you...

or you, Hank,
or any one of you
walk from here,

I'll see to it that
not one of you

get one hour's work
in this whole valley.

Who you tryin' to bluff?

You know these men got
their pick of the places
around here.

As a matter of fact,
I've already checked
with MacGarrett.

They got a special invite
to come over to his ranch
anytime they want to.

So, you take your choice--
Deifendorfer or them.

Well, Penelope,
how do you like this
for accommodations?

Your own stall.
And my own room.

No, it's real.
It's not a dream.

All the bad luck
is behind us now.

No more dark clouds.
From now on, my fine friend,
nothing but sunshine.

[thunder rumbles]

Oh, no.

Oh, no, it can't be.

It never rains
this time of year.

Looks like he really
means business this time.

It's all right, Penelope.
Don't worry.

No rain.

This rain could ruin it
for everybody.

If it keeps up,
there won't be any work for
anybody in the whole valley.

Yeah?
Talk about your Jonahs.

[Penelope brays]

I know how storms
scare you, Penelope,

so I thought I'd
kinda bunk out here.

Oh, don't thank me.
You'd do the same for me.

[brays]

Besides, the roof's
leakin' in there.

Good night.

Now you'll sleep tight.

[thunder crashes]

[door opens, closes]

Boy, that is some storm
out there.

I, uh, just came home
to see if there was anything
I could do to help.

NICK: If you can
stop time, fine.

We got 35 minutes
to deadline.

Or else maybe you can
figure a way to stop
this rain.

You mean to tell me
those men out there

really believe that Waldo
started this storm?

According to
the last petition,


And what you really mean
is that Jarvis fellow

has got 'em believing it,
right?

I don't know what
to believe now.

What's this, Nick?
You thinkin' of givin' in?

No, I'm...

just doin' a lot
of thinkin', is all.

Well, while you are,
think about this.

You give some people
an inch, Nick, and they
take a mile.

If I know you,
you're not gonna
give anybody a mile,

no matter what you're
thinkin' right now,
and you know it.

All right.
How do we win, Jarrod?

[sighs]
Well, I don't know.

Maybe it's more important
sometimes, Nick, to know
how to lose.

-Five to 12:00.
-All right, all right.

-So, where's Barkley?
-He'll be here.
Stop worryin' will you?

He's just testin' our nerves,
playin' the string out
to the end.

He can't win,
and we can't lose.

That rain keeps up,
nobodywins.

Don't worry,
the rain'll go with
the Jonah, like I told you.

Any minute now,
Barkley'll be comin'
through the door,

and that'll be the end
of Waldo Deifendorfer.

Wanna bet?
Come here.

HANK: I'd say it looks
like Waldo was settling
down for a long stay.

Come here.
Listen to me.

You can forget about
those blankets Miss Audra
gave you,

and you can forget
everything the Barkleys
told you.

-You're gettin' outta here.
-Yeah, but--

No but!
You pack up your gear,
you get on that mangy burro,

and you ride!
Now, come on, move!

NICK: Let him go!

Don't you know when
you've had enough?

Oh!

[grunts]

Oh!

[grunts]

I-- I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I thought you'd
be doing this.

After I leave,
things'll be better
for your family.

But how will they be
for you?

They'll always be
the same for me.
It makes no difference.

It does if you fight back.

-What can I do?
-Well, first,

have a better
opinion of yourself.
Have some faith in you.

How can I, when from
the day I was born
I've brought bad luck?

Even that day,
after the doctor delivered me,

he fell down the porch steps
and broke his leg.

That was hisbad luck,
not yours.

You gotta accept what you are.
Look, it's my luck.

If I had a pet duck,
it would drown.

Waldo, making fun
of yourself doesn't help.

It does if you make fun
before somebody else does.

Look, Miss Audra,
I don't want to cause
any trouble here.

I don't believe you.
That's just your excuse.

The fact is, you're feeling
sorry for yourself.
You always have.

You're not running
to help anybody.

You're running because
you're a coward.

You're not noble,
and you're not a man.

You're just a sheep
leading yourself
to slaughter.

Why don't you for once
stand your ground?

Why don't you for once
try a little faith?

Oh, what's the use?

She doesn't understand,
Penelope.

Come on.

Hey, he's leavin'!

Where can I go now?
What do I do?

I never asked you
for anything.
I wouldn't dare.

But I just gotta ask you now.
You see, I can't go on
like this anymore.

Or, to tell you the truth,
I don't want to.

Besides, I can't be
someone else, can I?

I mean, a person's stuck
with being what he is,
right?

Of course, I know it's
the first time I ever
talked to you direct.

So, I guess you're sorta
surprised, and perhaps
a little aggravated,

because I didn't take
the trouble to get a proper
introduction from a reverend.

But I need your help now.
Nothing big or important.

Just a little something.
Please.

Yours truly,
Waldo Diefendorfer.

[thunder crashes]

Gee... I never expected
anything this big.

Especially the first time.

Gee... thanks, sir.

You know, Waldo,
this was the best season
we ever had.

Me, too, Hank.

Look, uh, me and
the boys are headed north
for the Feather River.

-How 'bout joining us?
-Sure, friend.

Great. Wouldn't want
to lose our good luck charm.

Hear that, Miss Audra?

-You brought me
a change of luck.
-Change of faith.

Oh, yeah.

See you.

See you, Waldo.

[expl*si*n]

Oh, here I go again.

It's not what
you think, Waldo.

Nick's up there dynamiting.
We're just bringing water
down from the high lake.

Oh.

See you.
Bye.

Goodbye.

♪♪ [theme]