01x02 - I'm from a different galaxy

[bunniefuu]

Here or in Rosario?

-In Rosario. It left a scratch and…
-Action!

No chick who's hot
wants to be a doctor or a nurse.

When you're right, you're right.

They either got dark circles
or huge teeth.

Or a mustache and--

Excuse me, gentlemen.
Are you Carlos and Alberto?

-Yes.
-Yes.

-And you girls?
-The doctors.

-It can't be.
-Take off those costumes!

-Excuse me!
-What's wrong with you?

That's the fever talking.

Okay, let me feel you. You're cold as ice.

Oh gosh! Yes, feel me up a little more!

Control yourself!

What is your ailment?

I see impossible things.
I must be delirious too.

Poor thing! Let me examine you.

Both of you to my office right now!

Cut! We got it!

-Let's go, we're late!
-To the theater!

-Hurry up, guys!
-Bye!

Bye!

I'll warm up the car!

Do you need this many bags, Susana?

Shut up, Gordo!

Oh God!

Come on, Mo, we're late!

Where are you, Su?

-Wait! Let's go!
-Let's go!

Go on, Gordo! Get the girls!

Oh no! Damn!

-Hurry up, Gordo! What was so important?
-It's nothing!

Let's go, we're late!

Start the car, n*gro! Come on, let's go!

It's hot, right?

Su.

What's wrong?

I'm sick of him.

Disgusting fatso.

His wandering hands.

I hate him.

Let me dance with him. He'll back down.

-What will you do?
-Put him in his place.

Girls, no full nudity on the second show.

-A big-shot Army guy is coming.
-Okay, babe.

What's going on?

-You're slippery with all that oil.
-Hold me tight, ladies.

Don't fall, okay? Don't give me any ideas!

-Respect me, you insolent girls!
-Always!

You're the best part of that sketch.

Your timing is perfect.
And it could be even better.

But that number is too small for you.
You're so much better.

I don't know who you are.

What is it?

-Am I bothering you?
-Yes.

Excuse me, then.

I'm Mario Castiglione, member of I Medici.
Humor in service of the people.

-Now that we met, can I ask you a favor?
-Yes.

Can you stop staring at me every night
like I'm a TV screen?

It distracts me.

It distracts you? Do I distract you?

I want to say one thing.

And then I'll leave. I promise.

I'm madly in love with you.

I'd like to take you out.

I have a wife and two children.

But if we get to know each other
and like each other,

maybe I can leave everything behind.

Leave, honey. I want to rest.

I'm serious.

Moria! Over here, Moria!

-Moria!
-Hello!

Hi, beautiful!

My darlings, hello!

How's it going? All good?

Of course!

Come here.
Let's get one with the four of us.

Let's do it.

Thanks for coming.

Hi, honey!

Hi. Oh, I look gorgeous in this picture!

-Wait, let me sign it.
-Hi, gorgeous.

Here you go, hon. Thank you.

Come here, Su. Come here.

-Where? Here?
-Here, honey.

Moria, quick question.
How does it feel to have a hit again?

Wonderful. I'm happy. So happy.

People are really hoping
to see you in Mar del Plata.

-Hoping to see us? Then we'll go.
-It's confirmed, then?

-Thank you, honey. What's your name?
-Marcela.

I can't kiss you because…

I'm starving!
Last one, and I'm going to dinner.

Thanks for coming.

We have to go.

Bye, guys!

Thank you!

THE STARS OF THE REVUE

Okay, where are we going next?

Me? To my apartment.

Absolutely not. Let's go for a drink.
Your daughter is asleep by now.

You're crazy.

All I want is to take off these heels
and hug her, even just for a bit.

My baby. I hardly ever see her.

Did you always want children this early?

I don't know. I was so young.

-And I was so in love.
-Ooh!

Although her father and I
lasted all of two seconds.

You're feisty, huh?

What about you?

What? Am I feisty?

I'm super feisty, of course.

No, that we know. Don't worry.
I don't even have to ask.

No, have you ever thought about children?

You know? I haven't.

No.

No. I was always very happy like this.

With myself. Loving myself.

No, I mean it, dummy! Really.

The times I got pregnant,
I took care of it.

We always have to decide on our own.
What a cross to bear.

To me, that's a blessing, Su.

Okay, but really.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?
What do you want?

What do I want?

I want to be immortal.

What about you?

To be a millionaire.

Su!

-Our Su, a millionaire!
-Yes, darling! Yes.

You will be,
because you're sharp as a tack!

And I'll be immortal, you'll see.

You'll see my resurrection,
just like Jesus Christ.

I adore this place.

It's very nice.

And it's huge. It's perfect for a family.

I am my own family.

I'm concerned
that it's so far from the theaters.

Have a think.

Thank you.

Rosa!

-Look at this.
-What do you think?

-How wonderful!
-Look at this! It's great!

-It's beautiful, hon!
-It's a joy to drive!

-Congratulations!
-Rosa, I can't believe it.

Congratulations, hon. It's lovely!

-See how it starts?
-Let's get a picture.

-And the color is great.
-Isn't it? Fire and blood.

Let's take a picture.

-A picture.
-Okay, let's take one.

-What did you cook for me?
-Surprise.

Stay still.

Hold on a second, okay?

Come on, guys. Here it goes. Now.

-Nice.
-One more.

-One more.
-Okay.

I'm serious. I refuse to be paid last.

…that I'm young, I don't know anything…
You say worse things to me every time.

-You have to live to learn.
-You don't realize what you're doing.

Oh please! Enough, Carlos.
I've lost my appetite.

All right. Tell me,
what's your hesitation?

I don't care if Alberto,
Susana, and Gordo say yes.

Unless I get more money, I'm not signing.

Is it really the money that worries you?

I'm bored, Carlos.
I want to do something new.

-Like what?
-I don't know.

Something fun, something different,
something transgressive.

I'm bored.

Bored? Moria, you won't get
a better contract than this one.

I don't want a better contract.
I want better ideas.

You don't know what's good for you.
I do. I've been doing this job for years.

I make the decisions about my career.

And that's it.

-Is that how it is?
-Of course.

-Are you sure?
-Yes.

Okay, fine.

When things are fated,
there's nothing you can do about it.

Mario Castiglione.

-You already introduced yourself, Mario.
-Good. So you remember.

Cheers.

Cheers to that.

It's one thing to say
that eroticism leads to the divine.

But I'm saying another thing.

The divine is always expressed
through desire in all religions.

The connection between two people,
that fusion, that energy,

is, of course, sexual.

Of course it's sexual.

But your expression is one of boldness.

-My expression?
-Yes.

What do you know? You barely know me.

You're special.

-Oh really?
-Yes.

So special you're not even touching me.

I will soon.

Oh, Castiglione.
Come on, show me your d*ck thing.

Come on, I'm interested.

Oh, right.

Picture a teddy bear, but it's a d*ck.

-Hot!
-I'm inside it.

-Inside it?
-Yes.

-I'm sweating already. Go on.
-No. Picture it.

Okay.

I'm going to act it out.

-Are you ready?
-Ready!

Wait, let me get ready. Ready.

I turn into a d*ck, look.

Okay. Hilarious!

A vibrating d*ck
chases you around the set,

asking questions
about crime, injustice, inequality,

poverty, politics, the dictatorship.

-The d*ck is a revolutionary.
-A revolutionary? Really?

If you say so, then a revolutionary it is.
What can I say, Castiglione?

Did Moria Casán ever think about
having her own show?

There are four of you on the bill.

Would people pay to see me alone?

Yes, of course. I would pay for that.

Yes.

I'm leaving.

I'd leave everything for you.

You're very bold.

The boldest.

What's wrong?

Nothing. I'm leaving.

You should have a kid with me.

Mario, let me make something clear.

Listen.

I'm not like other women.

I don't have that longing.
That social expectation just isn't for me.

You know how you see
childbirth in movies, or on TV?

The women are always in pain,
crying, drenched in sweat. No, I…

I hate suffering.

And to me,
childbirth is synonymous with suffering.

And they expect a whole person
to come out of here?

This space is meant for other things.
I'm serious!

A baby coming out of the same place
you get pleasure?

Right next to where you poop?
No, absolutely not.

If I open my legs,
it's for things to go in, not to come out.

No, it's too much.

To me, having a child

is the most unnatural thing on the planet.

Give it here.

Here.

Take it.

I'm leaving.

What is Moria Casán thinking about?

The future.

What's there?

Am I in it?

I talked to the producers.

You talked to them?

It's already done.

Come here.

Yes!

Bravo!

Bravo, girls!

Let's go.

How did you think of that?

I have no idea.

Gordo is still throwing a fit.

Let him. He's so annoying.
I don't get why you put up with him.

I just don't want to argue.

I know, but nobody touches me
unless I want them to.

My grandfather did when I was eight.
I told myself, never again.

Oh, Moria.

I'm fine, honey.
It's okay, there's no trauma here, okay?

You have to move forward.

Forward ever, backward never,
as the saying goes.

No, you're different than me.

You know what bothers me?

These guys bother me. Their humor.

It bothers me, bores me, puts me to sleep.

What are you going to do?
Are you re-signing?

I don't know. You?

Me neither.

Tit-à-tit.

-Good luck with your thing, Mo.
-Good luck with your thing, Su!

Why the long face, hon?

It's nothing.

Come sit.

What's wrong?

Lupe and Adrián were arrested last night,

and I don't know how they are.

Do you know which station they're at?

Good evening, Officer.

Good evening.

Is the Chief here?

Tell him Moria Casán wants to see him.

-One moment, please.
-Thank you.

Chief.

-You think they'll release them?
-Yes, don't worry.

-Chin up.
-Okay.

-We both stay calm.
-Okay.

-Moria.
-Chief.

-How are you?
-Pleased to meet you.

How can we help you?

Look, there are two guys who are detained
who just happen to be dancers in my show.

My new revue show.

We do it every day on Corrientes Avenue
and it's a massive hit. You have to come.

You, your family, and the entire station.
You can't miss it.

Of course, whenever you like.
We're big fans of yours.

Then please understand how important it is
for me that these guys get out.

-I don't know what happened, but--
-It was a raid.

-Sure.
-We do them at night.

People can't walk around like that.

No, of course. I understand.

But you have to understand me.

These are my dancers.

My boys.

Goodbye, Officer.

Good night.

-Bye.
-Goodbye.

Goodbye.

-Goodbye.
-Bye. Good night.

-How are you?
-Fine.

-Did they do anything to you?
-No, how could I let them?

We're done, girls. No more drama.
Where do we go next?

There's a party.

-Let's go!
-It's at the Delta.

What? What's there?
Mosquitos? Absolutely not.

Yes, mosquitos,
but also freedom and fantasy.

During the dictatorship,
being different could cost you your life.

-Away from this.
-No more tears.

Gays, lesbians, and transgenders
built their refuge of parties and fantasy.

And they embraced me
to the point that I became an icon

as the great Argentine q*eer.

-It's her!
-Moria!

It's Moria!

Hello, my sweets!

What is this? We made it to the party!

Love you, Moria!

Great! Now we're here. Hello!

What is this scandal?

You're gorgeous. Do a twirl.

Oh, I love it!

I love it! You're so beautiful!

-Chicho!
-Welcome to our promised land!

-Moria, I'm Chicho.
-What a pleasure, I'm delighted!

Hello!

-We were so scared!
-Why?

We thought it was a Prefecture raid.

Down with the police!

-q*eers!
-Oh!

Tonight, Moria Casán saved our lives!

Bow to her, please!

I'm deceased!

Let's go, girls!

This woman got her heels muddy for us!

Fifteen centimeters, my love!
Let's all go party!

Scandal! Scandal!

Bravo!

Bravo!

Me?

My turn. Let's go.

-I feel like I'm from another planet.
-What?

I don't know, I see things.
Like a Martian. My head spins.

But what do you see?

I see past, present, future.
Myself, all of me, all the time.

All of me, honey!

Congratulations.

I hope you enjoy it.

Your keys.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, let me go on, or begin.

-Go on, begin, go.
-Whatever.

Chiribin, chiribin. Ooh!

No, wait. Do it again.

-Do it higher?
-Exactly.

Chiribin, chiribin.

Gosh.

I'll smother you with a boob.

You'll poke my eye out.

Both eyes.

How much do you think it might cost
to make a comedy pilot for TV?

Let's think of a name for the show.

-It has to be impactful.
-Yes.

If it's for TV, it has to be.
It needs your name on it.

My name should be on it, of course.
That's non-negotiable.

And something more.
It has to be like Moria and…

Moria and Moria.

Something that magnifies it,
enlarges it, that it exalts it.

It has to be just one word.
We have to think of just one word.

Let's think.

-Big Like You?
-I don't like it.

-Sounds like a kids show.
-Big Like You? No.

Huge Like You?

No, I don't like "huge".

-Magical Like You?
-Too corny. Not "magical".

-I'm just brainstorming. And--
-Fine. Don't get distracted. Think.

Okay.

Hold on. Monumental Like You?

Monumental Moria.

That's it, I felt it.

-You felt it?
-I did.

-"Oh, I felt it! Chibirin, chibirin."
-I felt it!

-Mmm.
-"Mmm" what?

It has to be like a revue made for TV.

-We need a star comic.
-I'm the comic.

-I thought you'd give me--
-I'm the comic.

I'll give you a spot,
but I'm the star comic.

-I'll introduce you. I can do that.
-Yes.

-Yes?
-Yes.

What a duo.

-We can write the sketches together.
-Of course. I love it.

Chiribin, chiribin.

We have to build this character.

-You have to play a character.
-Right.

You have to create a character
that is both you and not you.

Someone of the people.

But more over-the-top than the real Moria.

-More? How cheeky.
-Yes, even more.

How cheeky!

I love it!

Say it.

-Moria… No.
-No, but don't stutter.

No, but it has to be something else.
Something… Something more.

The… The queen! No.

-She's from a working-class neighborhood.
-No, no.

I told you, it's someone of the people.

Someone people can relate to.
She has to be a neighborhood diva.

-Yes.
-I love the idea I had.

Everyone will come.

I'll just stay here. Right here.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen
on the other side of the screen.

We have a lot today.
This party's got it all. We never skimp.

We have bubbles, noisemakers,
and we can do some serious banging!

We've got everything.

But anyway… I don't want to bother you
or get in the way.

I don't want to take up with your time
with this intro.

Let's get to it.

Let me introduce
the one you really want to see right now.

You're all cozy, curled up on your couch.

Get that hand out of there. I can see you.

And now, let's bring in
the owner of this joint.

Rita Turdero.

The Panther of Mataderos, gentlemen.

They call me the Panther

They say that I'm fierce as a beast

I'm Rita Turdero,
the Panther of Mataderos.

I was born among winches and cleavers,

and now I'm on screen
with TV hosts and deceivers.

-Chiribin, chiribin. Ooh.
-Ouch.

One, two, three!

-Look at that!
-Very good!

-This is Chekhovian, it's Shakespearean.
-Enough, you clown. Talk.

I'm worried because I think
you'll want to change everything again.

We can't change everything every week.

Absolutely not, you're wrong!
I'm ready for bigger things.

But coming from you, and knowing you,
it's definitely something very big.

It makes me want to take out
the Castiglione Stick.

Try to get this through your head.
This stick is useless!

-No, the Castiglione Stick!
-Out with that stick. Go on.

Tell me, what are your big plans?

I want to create a social security fund
for ladies of the night.

They need help.
They're more at risk than penguins.

-What's that? A penguin? Show me.
-No…

Show me the penguin.

Show me the penguin.

But we don't understand.
Nobody here gets what you want to do.

A lot, I already told you.

I want taxi drivers
to give those ladies a discount.

I want the city to install benches,
because they're on their feet all night.

Well, they're not on their feet
all the time.

It's a long time on their feet, you clown.

Look. The smoke will hide us.

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Don't touch me!
Do you know what I want now?

I want you to leave
because I'm sick of you.

Leave!

One, two, three!

Look at that!

What are you doing?

You jerk!

Oh, wow, Castiglione!

Grazie mille per noi.

-Do you want a sip before you come in?
-No.

I decide when I drink.

Mario.

I felt it.

I'm pregnant.

True architecture is born
from a powerful force,

from something extraordinary.

And that something
is what I define as sublimated love.

The only thing
that can change our lives forever.

Sofía Gala Castiglione.

My spell.

My fragility.

My destiny.

My only kryptonite in this story.

My home.

My ultimate love.