01x01 - The Obelisk with t*ts

[bunniefuu]

Moria! Moria!

Moria! Moria!

How do you tell a life story?

My life.

I'm no ordinary person.

And neither is my story.

My life is spectacular.

And this journey is, too.

For those who don't know me,
my name is Moria Casán.

I'm Argentinian.

I'm the Obelisk with t*ts.

This is not just a set.

It's my head.

Past, present, and future, all modernized.

Mockups that light up
the roadmap of my life.

My cartography, fiction, reality.
My personality, spotlights.

Since I was very little, I've felt huge.

I was always the puppet master
of my own life.

I'm no traditional heroine.

I was always different, a Martian.

A monster.

Do you know what that means?

I'm going to tell you.

But where do I start?

From the beginning?

Or from the exact moment
my life changed forever?

THE GREAT BUENOS AIRES REVUE

DIRECTED BY CARLOS PETIT

EL NACIONAL THEATER

1968.

Argentina was a beautiful mess.

And Corrientes Avenue, wow!

The beating heart of the theater scene.

In my 22 years of life,
I had never set foot in a revue theater.

I was a rebel,

and I still had no idea
who I wanted to be.

-A glass of wine, please.
-Right away.

Thank you.

Do you like me, or do I owe you?

You're beautiful. That's undeniable.

So you like me.

-Do you dance?
-Is there a party somewhere?

Not that I know of.

But my question is serious. Do you dance?

I used to teach dance.

-Oh, really?
-Yes.

-At a school?
-The one in my garage at home.

Do you have any interest in revue?

I don't know.

This is my first time
seeing a show like this.

Well,

if you're interested,
I'll wait for you here next week.

Tuesday at 5 p.m.

Ask for Carlos A. Petit.

I was waiting for you.

-Have you been here long?
-Just got here.

Who was that guy?

Don't know. I think he got the wrong girl.

-Ready?
-Let's go.

Do you tell me everything?

Yes. Why?

-Do you love me?
-Eyes on the road. Yes.

Then why do you lie to me?

About what?

What did that guy say?

What guy?

-The guy you were talking to--
-What is this about?

-This again?
-Tell me the truth.

-You do this--
-Noticed how he looked at you?

No. How was he looking at me?

-Like every guy does!
-How?

-You know damn well.
-No, tell me.

-What did he say?
-I don't know.

-I'm talking to you--
-No, you--

Tell the truth!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

-What are you doing?
-Stop.

-No!
-Stop.

Let me go!

Take me home.

Take me home.

-Stop.
-Take me home.

-Take me home.
-Stop.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

It's me.

It's me.

It's me.

-Who was that guy?
-Stop it.

Who?

Did he turn you on?

-Did he turn you on?
-What are you doing?

Our Civil Code is clear.

There is no institution
more fundamental than marriage.

Every Argentinian woman
has the peace of mind

that she can rest

under the protection
of her legal representative.

That is to say, her husband.

A husband capable of
managing the household finances

and representing the woman
in all her legal acts.

I charge.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, sweetie.

-Wait. Start over.
-Let's go again.

-Okay. Fast.
-Let's go.

-You're here, honey.
-Hi, Mom.

Hi.

Did Rubén bring you?

No.

Are you finally moving in together?

I don't know, Mom. I'm not sure yet.

Think about it.

Think about it, huh?

BYE

You're late.
Mr. Petit is waiting for you. This way.

And one…

Five.

Have a seat.

Five, six.

Dani, do the sequence again.

Okay, let's take it from the top.

In five, six, seven. And one, two, four.

And one, two, four.

All together.

Did you get it?

Go get dressed.

I have nothing to wear, sir.

Anyone have a leotard
they could lend this young lady?

Here. I have one.

Come with me.

Follow that one.

There you go.

And then, when we go back,
it's right, left, right.

And then stay there until they go back.

Come with me.

Don't stretch it out. Break a leg!

Show me arms. Elongated.

Elbow, wrist, hand.

Give her the cane.

Let's make a four. Girls, do it with me.

Seven and one, two, three, four.

More plié when you go down.

Elongated neck,
top of the head to ceiling.

Keep your posture.
Shoulders back. Perineum to navel.

Catwalk.

Go on.

Your name, miss?

Ana María Casanova.

But everyone calls me Moria.

Moria.

Go to Wardrobe.
You're debuting in 30 minutes.

Good job, kid.

My name is Miguel.

And to survive here,
all you have to do is everything I say.

-Is that clear?
-Yes.

That headpiece is crooked, Tania. Come on!

-Migue, are the fabrics here?
-Tomorrow.

Okay, I'll wait.

Welcome to living together.

The Bluebell Girls.

Mr. Petit brought them
from the Lido in Paris.

This is a whole army.

Except buck naked.

Ma'am, this is Sandra's replacement.

Her debut's in ten minutes.

I'll be back in five.

Why aren't you ready yet?
Come on, let's go.

-David!
-Coming.

Let's see, hon, sit down.

-I'm David.
-Hi.

We'll be working together.
Look, let me give you some advice.

You can forget anything,
but never forget a red lip.

Perfect.

Let's go. You're coming with us.

-If you're lost, follow me.
-Get in front.

I'm Luisa.

-I'm Pupé.
-Moria.

What about you? Can you neigh?

Oh, I love it!
Come on, turn around, beautiful.

Just look at this.

Please, Arturo, behave yourself!

How are you doing?

She says she's doing well.

Look, everyone.
A round of applause for this cupcake.

It's like the Suez Canal,
but with more cushion.

Bravo!

-Was he there?
-Yes, he was.

In the third row.

I didn't see him.

Meow!

-You were impeccable.
-Really?

Good job, babe.

No.

Don't take off your makeup,
Petit will k*ll you.

You can't take the magic away from people.

Let's all go África tonight.

What is África?

Welcome.

All the wildlife is here today.

That long-haired guy
plays for San Lorenzo.

He came with that blonde model
everyone's talking about.

That's Gerardo Sofovich, "the Russian."

He's a huge businessman.
He owns the theater where we dance.

-Let's go dance by him.
-I'm going to get a drink first.

Okay. Let's go.

Sparkling water with ice, please.

Do I know you?

Carlos Sexton.

Moria.

Moria?

Is that your real name?
What kind of name is that?

My mother picked it.

She wanted to name me that,
but they wouldn't let her.

Let me buy you a drink, Moria.
If I can call you that.

My friends are waiting.

Oh.

-What are you doing here?
-Please, leave.

-Who brought you? You're coming with me.
-Just go, Rubén.

-Let's go.
-Stop!

-Will you listen to me?
-Let me go.

-What are you doing with these wh*res?
-Hey!

-Let's go.
-Stop it. What the hell?

What's wrong with you? Let me go!

Oh, no, girls.

Stop it!

-Are you okay?
-Call security!

-Are you crazy?
-Let go of me! Get off!

Don't take him away.

Get off me!

Don't touch me!

I'm fine.

-Don't move.
-Get off!

-Get the hell out!
-Are you crazy?

Let me go!

What's wrong with you, Rubén?

What's wrong with you, Rubén?

You follow me everywhere.

You control me.

You keep tabs on me.

You f*ck me. You beat me.

You almost ripped my wig off.

What's wrong, Daddy?

Do you want me to cover up a little?

Huh? Do you want me to dress less trashy?

Unlike you, my dear,

I'm not afraid of anything,
not even embarrassing myself.

I see you and I don't recognize you.
Rubén, who are you?

Who are you, Rubén? What are you?

What are you?

You know what you are?

You're a fur coat in summer.

You're suffocating, a drag, you're…

unnecessary.

Goodbye to your jealousy,

your bullshit, and your sour faces,
which I detest, Rubén.

And your voice, which I can't stand.

Because the only punch
I'm taking from now on

is the punch of success.

-Did you hear me?
-Yes!

The only punch I'm taking from now on
is the punch of…

Success!

That one doesn't leave any bruises.

Okay, enough! I've given this clown
enough of my time.

Get him out!

Out!

Out. Go away, leave, darling. Thank you.

Now let's discuss something
more interesting.

Let's talk about me.

Ever since I was little,
my mind has been racing.

I used to wet my pillow from crying,
and my panties from the hormone surge.

I was intense, over-the-top,
and with this mouth that can't be shut.

I spent years crying and suffering
because of these mentally destitute men.

But we're not putting up
with these things anymore.

-Isn't that right, girlfriend?
-No.

Not out of love, nor contempt, nor guilt.

-How long have you two been married?
-Thirty years.

-Thirty years? I can't believe it.
-Thirty!

-And do you still get off?
-Yes.

A lot? Do you have sex?

Ask her.

-How many times a week?
-No less than 14.

I don't buy it.

Fourteen times?

Let's clap for this couple who gets off!

Fourteen times a week!

I'm dying!

For those who don't know me,
my name is Moria.

I'm new to the revue,
and I'm a rare and unusual case.

That's why before coming here,
I went to the doctor.

After examining me very thoroughly,

he got my diagnosis right.

-Do you want to know what I have?
-Yes!

Really? Do you want to know what I have?

Yes!

I have an identity crisis.

Because I can't be any more…

me!

-Excuse me, Moria. Can I get a pic?
-Of course.

-Honey.
-How are you?

-Very good.
-How did it go?

Amazingly.

-Be right back.
-Really?

I'll wait.

Casanova.

-How are you?
-Very well.

-Darling, how are you?
-I'm well.

-Will you sit with us for a bit?
-But of course.

I'll leave you two alone.
Have a chat, okay?

-I'll go say hi to Lila.
-Thank you, dear.

Please.

Okay, very good.

I want to make you a proposal.
Something you won't be able to refuse.

I'm listening.

Now that the season is over,
I'm preparing my new show.

It's not a revue.

You know that nowadays the audience
laughs out loud at television.

And they want the same thing
from the theater.

I'm convinced that comedy
is the way forward,

and I want you in the cast.

A comedy?

The script is fantastic.
I already have the rights.

What do you think?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't know. The truth is that…

I find revue to be such a complex,
demanding genre.

It's the hardest one, isn't it?

It's hard.

I love it.

So, honestly, thinking of leaving it…

-Casanova…
-I don't know.

The audience is going to love you
in this comedy, okay?

And don't worry about your fee.
There won't be a problem.

Very well.

Can I think about it?

Excuse me.

Take a seat.

Please.

Is everything okay?

How much do you charge
your soccer players to manage them?

You want me to manage you?

You might have to sort out
a comedy for me.

Okay.

Wait two seconds.

Hey, kid.

I know you're working,
but you can't publish that picture.

Understood?

Don't worry.

-Thank you.
-Thank you, Carlos.

-You're a tough guy, huh?
-Sometimes.

Gerardo, one more?

So, a comedy?

-What do you think?
-Interesting.

Cheers.

To us.

To me, honey.

Are you okay?

I'm fine, I just spaced out.

Look.

No.

No.

I don't know
if I should do the comedy, you know?

No, I have to do something else.

-Something like what?
-Something different, Carlos.

I don't know, something…
something new, Carlos.

Something new, different. Like me.

A magazine cover.

And 10 000 dollars.

From debuting at the El Nacional
with Petit to second vedette.

A non-stop ascension. What's next?

I'm prepared to face any obstacle.

w*r, if necessary.

I'm flexible, I'm curvy,
and I have many skills.

-There we go. Is that okay?
-Good.

Does the entertainment industry
need new faces?

The audience needs something new,
and I can give it to them.

I'm here to fill that void.

Fix that thing. There.

Okay, let's do one more. One more.

You come across
as a very confident, determined woman.

But something has to rattle you.
What are you afraid of?

Not being me.

Betraying myself.

Not being consistent with myself.
I would never forgive myself.

And finally,
how do you imagine the future?

The living model of the future…

is me.

VOICES TODAY

"I'm here to fill that void."

-What void are you filling?
-Did you not read it?

A void for something new,
something that doesn't fit the mold.

I want to work with you.

I like your boldness.

You'll like it more

when you see the future
coming down the stairs of your theater

in your new revue.

What do you say?

I can offer you this.

-This is double.
-I'll get you more than double.

Two things.

I don't want anyone,
absolutely anyone, touching my a*s.

And I want it in writing.

And the second one?

-Give me 30 days.
-What do you mean, 30 days?

-Impossible. We won't make the premiere.
-We'll make it.

What are you trying to invent?

Look, Gerardo,
this show is your creation, but I…

I am my own creation.

Thirty days.

Thank you, Juri.

Slow down, Claudia.

Chin up. Lautaro, I'm kicking you out.

As if you had suspenders.

-Oh, okay.
-Hi, Gerardo.

Hi, Moria.

Hi, everyone.

Hi, Moria.

-Moria, you are her.
-Very good.

Okay, let's come out from the sides.

I'll make it.

We'll make it.

Okay, let's take it from the top in one,
two, three, four, five, six, seven and…

One…

That's it. Slowly, don't rush.

I needed something else
to become that woman of the future.

That perfect monster.

I needed a pact,

an intimate sacrifice
for an eternal and indestructible romance.

Between the audience and me.

My new body is not vanity,
it's an offering.

My balcony t*ts, my sacred t*ts.

My trademark, my true manifesto.

Final number, everyone! Let's go!

Moria, it's the final number.

Moria! Moria!

Moria! Moria!

GOLDEN NIGHTS OF BUENOS AIRES

EL NACIONAL THEATER

DIRECTED BY CARLOS PETIT

GOLDEN NIGHTS OF BUENOS AIRES