01x05 - I'm Not a Shots Girl Either

[bunniefuu]

[Ellis] Previously on Sterling Point…

Dear late Grandpappy
left the island to us too,

so let's f*cking sell this b*tch.

Connor, we are not selling this island.

Not today, we're selling when we turn 18.

Yeah, but don't you turn 18, like, soon?

Big party. You're invited, Sis.

Hello?

Hi. I'm looking to speak
with Joseph Anderson, please.

I'm Gordon Campbell's estate lawyer.

[Annie] Sounded like you guys were dating?

We dated a couple of months
in high school.

Do you mind if I borrow that?

[Ellis] She was making out with Rory.

Bro, she likes you. It's so obvious.

Ask her to the movie thing.

-Would you wanna go?
-Yeah.

-I really like being near you.
-I like being near you too.

Yo, that's not chill.

Hey. This is cute, huh?

Six orders of poutine.
Grab yourself a treat--

-Whoa!
-f*cking…

-You're such an as*h*le, Lincoln.
-I'm sorry.

-[Connor] You're in love.
-[Ramona] Yeah, maybe.

She's into this girl named Stacey Mallory.

-You f*cked with me.
-I didn't f*ck with you.

-You didn't want to?
-No.

-You're clearly lying to me.
-It's not my place.

-Not your place to what?
-To tell you how she died.

What did you just say?

She died giving birth to Ramona.

How do you know that?

Because I was there.

I don't know if we should tell her or not.

[squeaky voice] What?
She hasn't left her room in days

'cause that b*tch, Oona,

broke my girl's heart.

And now you wanna tell her
that Mom died giving birth to her?

-Are you a f*cking monster?
-Can you not say that in a helium voice?

Sorry.

Don't you feel like it's f*cked up
to hide this?

[normal voice] There are things
you don't wanna know

-about our biological parents.
-That is different.

It's literally the exact same thing.

It's not.
Our biological parents aren't our parents.

They gave us up for adoption.
Goldie is Ramona's actual mom.

She wanted her
and then f*cking died giving birth to her.

Dark.

I mean, yeah.

[squeaky voice] 'Kay. I'm gonna be late
to my consult with Sully

for the birthday party.

Oh, if you decide to tell Ramona,
let me know how it goes.

Thoughts and prayers. Love you. Bye.

-Tell me what?
-[gasps]

[Annie] Hmm?

Such a stupid question. Are you okay?

[scoffs] Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's… Like, it's awesome.
It's great. I'm good. I just…

I'm kind of processing

the life-altering knowledge
that I k*lled our mom.

-So, that's cool.
-Ramona, you did not k*ll Mom.

It's not your fault.
It's not your fault at all.

No, I know it's not my fault.
Like, it's… I was a baby. [chuckles]

But, uh, it's… I…

[sighs]

I think I'm just gonna go and…
Can we talk about this later?

-Yeah, of course.
-I'm just gonna go

and take a very long,
hopefully dreamless sleep

for the next approximately
five to ten years…

-Okay.
-…first.

Is there anything I can do to help?
I'm sorry this is how you're finding out.

Why are you sorry?
Like, you didn't k*ll Mom.

-Ramona, you…
-[footsteps retreating]

[sighs]

[Sully] So, you want it to be…

-Specific to Camp Rock 2.
-Camp Rock 2…

It can't be Camp Rock 1.

-It is not "This Is Me" era.
-Got it.

It's Camp Rock 2. Very specific.

-Do you remember this? [exclaims]
-Yes. That's the… Yes. Yes.

-Okay, Camp Rock. I f*cking love you.
-Oh.

So, for the cake…
What did you want for the cake?

-Do you want a cake?
-Okay. So, I'm thinking, like, red velvet

-meets Funfetti, meets Oreo…
-Mmm-hmm.

…meets croissant.

Yeah. We will definitely workshop that.
That's such a good idea.

Do you want it to say anything
specifically on the top?

Oh. Okay. So specifically--
and preferably--

Alyson Stoner's face saying,
"Happy birthday, Connor."

And we put Annie's name on the cake too.

I really like that.

As long as it's under mine,
smaller and in parentheses.

Please write that down.

-Sorry.
-Rory.

-They made me fill out all this…
-Hello!

…customs paperwork.

-[Sully] Customs paperwork?
-Oh, my God. Open it.

Okay. Careful. It's sharp.

-What is it?
-I don't know. Magic.

[Sully] Um…

[gasps]

Oh, my God.

I'm shaking. They're perfect.

They're perfect. They're perfect.

How does Annie find this theme?

This is actually my party.

Yeah, but you're twins.

Fraternal. And also, put one of these on,
both of you. Right now.

Wait. So, she's not doing anything?

{\an8}I don't know.
She mainly organizes her creams.

Okay. All right. Well, I'll let you guys--

Wait, where are you going?

Huh? Oh, I'll come back.

It's gonna be good, man!

Put it on.

Right now?

-I got a shift later.
-Please. Please put it on.

Don't do that. It's gonna go over my body.

Okay.

There you go.

-Camp Rock.
-Camp Rock. Yep. Yeah.

[knocking at door]

-[Annie] Hey, Ramona?
-Hmm?

Could we talk?

-Don't look at me like that.
-Like what?

Like…

loving and sympathetic.

Sorry.

-You're still doing it.
-This… This is just my face.

-I--
-Look, I know.

I know you deal
with these things differently.

You talk about them endlessly
with everyone you've ever known,

but this is how I deal.

-I sleep.
-Yeah.

-Okay?
-Yeah. Okay.

Great. Thanks. Have a good day.

[shop bell tinkles]

Oh, my God.

-Jesus!
-[gasps]

-Jesus Christ. I'm…
-I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. I…

-I just got scared.
-That's okay.

I think it was actually Kevin Jonas
who scared me.

Right.

We have a love-hate relationship.

Yeah, me too. You okay?

Yeah. Sorry. How are you?

I'm good. Uh…

I wanted to come by
and apologize for the other night.

Thanks.

Lincoln was, like, way out of line,
and I feel terrible.

And I'm gonna apologize to Ellis as well.

Thank you. I mean, don't stress it.

Well, obviously,
it wasn't you who said it, so…

I know, but I could have done more.
So I'm sorry.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

How much sleep
have you been losing over this?

-Be honest.
-Quite a lot.

-Yeah.
-Seriously.

-Aw, I'm sorry.
-But I… No, no, it's… As long as that's…

-Yeah, we're good. We're good.
-Also, this is insane.

I thought you didn't like birthdays.

Forgot about this for a moment.
A blissful moment.

I don't. I hate birthdays.
Connor likes birthdays.

-Right.
-They make me feel closer to death.

Well, this is unacceptable,
because you have a big one tomorrow.

You're gonna be 18, Annie.
You know what that means?

You can get charged as an adult
for when you get caught

for all your violent crime
you've been committing.

-Hell, yeah.
-Yeah.

It's what I've been waiting for.
That's something to celebrate.

Can I maybe do something special for you?

Can I maybe take you out tonight?

I don't know. [chuckles] I don't know.

No need to involve the Jonas Brothers,
if that's why you're saying no.

-Will you let me?
-Okay.

-Yeah?
-Mmm-hmm.

Okay.

[Oona] Do you know what song you're gonna
sing at the talent show this year?

Uh, I don't know yet,
but I think something Sondheim.

Okay, who is she?

Jesus Christ.

[chuckles] What?

Oh, um, make sure that you pack
enough undies, okay?

You think I'm gonna start
suddenly sh1tting my pants at camp?

Well, no, you just never know.

You mean that time
in the airport parking lot?

-[gasps]
-[chuckles]

-Hey!
-Whoa!

That was not a sh*t, okay?
It was barely a fart.

Ugh! How do you remember that?
That was ages ago.

Mum still gets in on Thursday?

Um…

I don't know.

Why did you say it like that?
She is coming, right?

Yeah. Honestly, I don't know.

Well, what do you mean, you don't know?

She always at least comes
for the talent show.

Yeah. No, I know. I just… I mean,
I know that she wants to be here, but…

I think she just got, like,
busy with some stuff.

-But I'll be there, so that'll be cool.
-Just tell me the truth.

I don't know if she's coming back.

Well, what do you mean,
"if she's coming back"?

Well, what did she say?

She said it was that she met a seer.

-The f*ck's a seer?
-I don't know, man.

But supposedly, he said that she was
on the cusp of revelation,

and, yeah, she doesn't know
how long she'll be in India for, so…

And apparently,
there's no rushing revelation.

-Why aren't you more mad?
-What? Like, at Mum?

Yes, at Mum! You just, like, let her
get away with the craziest stuff!

I'm not letting her. I can't control her.

-Well, f*ck! Dude, maybe you should try.
-Okay, Maple, I feel you.

-Please do not take this out on me.
-She's our mum. She has to come back.

-Try!
-Maple, what do you want me to do?

Bro, she communicates via postcards!

Hey.

Oh, hey. How's it going?

Are you building a canoe?

No, no. I'm just restoring it.

[mockingly] "I'm just restoring it"?

-[chuckles] Yeah.
-It's so cool.

Wanna be my first passenger?
Make sure it doesn't sink with me?

Um…

Looks like a storm's coming in.
I don't know.

-Doesn't feel safe.
-[both laugh]

-Okay.
-Yeah?

-Yeah.
-Okay. Let's do it.

[footsteps approaching]

[yelling] I hate my sister! [pants]

I'm just done with her.
I'm so done with her.

Yeah. I feel you. I hear you.

It's just, I think maybe--
and hear me out--

-your anger's a bit misdirected?
-[Maple] No, it's not!

-Okay.
-Can I move in here?

-I thought you were going to camp.
-f*ck camp!

-Okay. Well, you love camp.
-Not anymore!

I just feel like I want
to punch a wall or something!

What's happening to me?

Yeah, that's something we call rage.

It's better to make friends with it,
welcome it into your heart.

It's only gonna get worse as you age,
so… [grunts]

-Um…
-Where are you going?

I think I know something
that might make you feel better.

[dramatic opera music playing]

-Honestly, worth it.
-Oh, absolutely.

So, what do we do now?

Oona is trying her best.

I know she acts all, like,
cool and awesome, together,

but it's hard on her too.

Her mom left her to take care
of her 12-year-old sister.

It's not, like,
the coolest move ever, you know?

Well, it's not permanent.

Yeah. Yeah, I know, but still…

Ever get hangry?

You mean, like, when you're so hungry
you get angry?

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I guess.

Well, isn't every emotion
kinda like hanger?

Like, you have to ask yourself,

"Am I actually angry right now,
or am I just hungry?"

And most of the time,
you eat a granola bar, and you're fine.

Maybe when you're mad,
you can ask yourself, like,

"Am I actually mad right now,
or am I maybe a little sad?"

I feel like I'm going through
the same as you right now.

Just in reverse.

What do you mean?

I just found out some super dark sh*t
about my mom, and it's…

It's really sad, but it's…

I don't know. I mostly just feel mad,

'cause it's so f*cking unfair.

Unfair that she died?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And now you're realizing that…

you're actually just really sad
that you don't have a mum?

[Ramona] Yeah.

Do you think she just…

doesn't want to be my mum?

What?

Dude. Maple, no.

No, not at all.

It's just, adults are weird,

and they have, like,
a lot of complex bullshit going on.

I miss her.

[Ramona] Yeah.

Are you gonna stay mad
but secretly sad at Oona forever?

Mmm. Undecided.

Are you?

Undecided.

[both chuckle]

Think it is very dangerous
that we canoe in the rain?

[Ellis] No, absolutely not.

[exhaling]

Hey. Bald eagle.

Oh, my God.

That's so cool.

It's so beautiful.

Didn't know our bird
was allowed in Canada.

[both chuckle]

Um…

There's something
I should probably talk to you about.

Sorry to just, like, drop this on you.

What?

The other day, after the fair,
when you guys left,

your dad told me something kinda intense.

What?

He said he was
with my mom at the hospital…

the night that she died.

What the f*ck?

Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe she asked him to take her there.

I mean, they lived close.

Yeah, but he said
that they hadn't seen each other

since they were teenagers.

So I'm just like…

why would he lie about that?

I found, like, paperwork
in my dad's office today.

Gordon made my dad Ramona's guardian
before he died.

So is it kinda sounding like…

your dad might also be Ramona's dad?

This is gonna destroy my mom.

-Ellis, I'm so sorry.
-No, don't. It's not your fault.

-You shouldn't have to find out like this.
-It's not your fault. It's fine.

Where's that tape?

-Hey.
-Hey.

Maple's inside.

-Okay.
-We broke a ton of sh*t.

-Really?
-It felt really good. Yeah.

-We both feel better now.
-Nice. Thank you.

-Um…
-Yeah.

-All good.
-Yeah.

Yeah, no, she, like…
I don't know what she told you, but…

she started talking about my mum. Um…

And then I tried to talk to her about it,

and she started freaking out,
which is fair, but…

Right.

I don't know. I just made it worse.

-No.
-Yeah.

-But thank you for…
-No.

Yeah. Yeah, all good.

[Oona] Thanks.

What if I'm, like, not enough?

For who?

Um…

You are.

Yeah, I think I'm just gonna
let you guys do your thing.

-Yeah.
-Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

[exhales]

[Goldie] Joe, hi.

Can you believe I found this?
I hope you still like mixtapes.

Are mixtapes even a thing anymore?
[laughs softly]

Anyway, I guess the fact

my dad never gets rid of anything
is sometimes worthwhile.

I wanted to record something right now
because the baby just kicked.

She could be here any day now.

I wonder who she'll be.

I can't wait to meet her,
for us all to be a family.

I hate movies
where they sing-talk the whole time.

-This is insufferable.
-Well, it won Best Picture.

Yeah. Maple, I feel like
when a movie's won Best Picture,

I'm just gonna automatically hate it.

What does winning Best Picture even mean?

You like Parasite.

True. True that, yes.

[chuckles] Yeah, okay.

I'll give it a shot.

-I'm really gonna miss you this week.
-I'm gonna miss you too.

Can Ramona come with us to camp drop-off?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Mmm-hmm.

Whoa, damn. Who's the one in the fishnets?

-See? I told you you'd like it.
-Wow.

-Whoa!
-This is the best part.

Don't know if we should be watching this.

Happy birthday.

Uh, Ramona, I'm sorry about Mom.
I hope you're feeling okay.

I'm sorry that you found out that way.
I wanted it--

Just accept the "happy birthday" first.

Thank you.

I get it, why you told me.

Just please, please, please,
no more secrets.

Like, no more digging around for stuff.

I think I'm good on the b*mb drops
for the rest of my life.

[chuckles] Yeah. Fair enough.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-See you all on the flip.
-See you on the flip.

["Man I Need" playing]

Thank you.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. This is my party. Hi.

Hi.

-Hey, man. Sully…
-[Sully] Yes.

…you f*cking k*lled it.

-I love you. You're perfect.
-Thank you so much.

-I don't know what I'd do without you.
-It was a fun challenge, really.

I locked in on this one.

I don't know anyone here.

Yep.

[people chattering indistinctly]

[Ellis] Hey.

Hey.

Is Ramona coming?

No. No, she said
she didn't wanna come tonight.

-Oh. sh*t. Great.
-Yeah.

[chuckles]

'Cause I was thinking all day
about ways to tell her

that she's actually my sister, so…

Yeah.

How… How do you know for sure?

I listened to the whole tape. Both sides.

Why did I not think
to listen to both sides?

-Oh, yeah, no.
-It's really stupid.

No. You're fine.

Yeah, the whole other side was
from when she was pregnant, so…

Oh, my God, Ellis.

[Ellis] Yeah.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah, I think the weirdest part was just…

hearing how in love they were.

Sorry, I'm totally ruining your birthday.

No, you're not. No. No, no, not at all.
Not at all. I…

-Little bit.
-I promise you are not.

It's actually the opposite. It…

I, uh, got you something.

-You…
-It's--

-You did not have to do that.
-Yeah, it's whatever.

-Thank you.
-Open it.

I can't believe that you did this.

It's really not that much.

You know.

Yeah, not the Mona Lisa, but, you know.

This is pretty close to the Mona Lisa.
[chuckles]

-It's really not that much.
-Thank you. No, no.

-Thank you so much. I love it. Thank--
-Annie.

Yeah.

-[Rory] Hey.
-Hey. Hi.

Happy birthday.

Thank you so much.

-Hey, man. What's up?
-[Ellis] Yo.

-Uh, did you just get here?
-I just got here, yeah.

-Okay. Damn.
-Same.

Your set starts, like…
We'd have to leave pretty soon.

[Annie] Yeah.

Rory actually got us tickets
to this, like, club thing?

-Yeah, yeah.
-I don't know. To escape Connor's party.

-Yeah, no, totally. That's… That's…
-[Rory] Yeah.

I didn't know you were gonna be here.

[Ellis] It's totally fine. That's cool.

-AJ, I'll wait for you outside.
-Cool. I'll see you outside.

-Okay. Good seeing you.
-Yeah. Same.

This… Did you make this frame?

Yeah. It's…

-[laughs] It's ridiculous.
-I know.

-Thank you.
-Yeah. You're welcome. Happy birthday.

Thanks.

-Have fun. Sorry. Can't stay. Okay.
-Yeah, I will.

-Yep.
-I'll see you later.

-Yep. You have fun.
-Okay.

-Thank you. Bye.
-Okay.

This is so cool. You'll have
the best time. I'm jealous.

-I'll write you letters every single day.
-Bye. I'm here for a week.

Yeah, but write me back, please, okay?

-Okay, bye.
-I love you.

Dude, Maple, you gotta sing hard, okay?

-Bye! Bye!
-Love you! Bye! Bye.

Okay, b*tch.

[grunting] Uh, uh, uh, uh.

-You gonna blow this b*tch out or what?
-Wait. We have to wait for Annie.

-That's her name. She's gonna love it.
-I think she left with Rory already.

-But she might come back later.
-Whatever. It's her loss.

She's not gonna get a treat bag,
that's for sure.

And they have Sillybandz in them
and Poot stickers.

And Poot stickers?
Wow, I was a little like… "Mmm."

But now I'm like,
"You know what? Great idea."

And it is her bad. Missing out.

-I think I need a few frosés.
-[gasps]

-Can I join? Come. Immediately, right now.
-Abso-f*cking-lutely! Okay, okay, okay.

-sh*t. It's amazing.
-Oh, my God.

-What do you want to drink?
-So many people.

Um, I'll do, like, whatever whiskey
they have, on ice. Sorry.

"Whatever whiskey they have, on ice"?

-That… Seriously?
-Is that a bad order?

No, it's the coolest order
I've ever heard.

-[girl] Wait, Annie? Annie!
-Two whatever whiskeys they have, on ice.

-Whoa. Yo!
-My guy.

-No way!
-Oh, my God!

-What?
-Dude!

-I can't believe you're here.
-What the hell?

Okay. Annie is, like,
my really good childhood friend.

-Our dads work together.
-Yeah!

-This is Travis, my boyfriend.
-Travis.

-Glad you're finally meeting.
-Nice to meet you.

-Hi. Hi. Yeah, good to see you again.
-Dude, hi.

-You guys know each other from…
-High school.

Okay. You guys have a place out here?

-Trav's parents do. On Lake Joe.
-Amazing.

-Um, how's school?
-Dude…

It's good. You'll see. You're next.

If I make it there alive.

How was the summer program?
Did that just end?

Oh, I didn't go, actually.

-You didn't?
-No.

'Cause I didn't get in.

-Oh, sh*t.
-Yeah.

That's crazy. You know what?

It's literally fine, 'cause I feel
it actually isn't important

when it comes to, like, actual admission.

-Oh, really? Did you not go?
-Should be fine.

I did go,
but I know a lot of people that didn't.

Yeah. Yeah.

-But people go.
-[Travis] It's fine.

Okay. And I don't know if you guys…

Do they know?
That it's Annie's birthday today?

-No way.
-She's 18.

-You're joking. Today?
-Happy birthday.

-Thank you.
-So, we're all here by coincidence.

I feel like if there was ever
to be a night

where we all had a night,
like, an actual night…

-Know what I mean? It'd be tonight.
-Absolutely.

-Absolutely!
-We have to do shots.

-We have to do shots.
-What about tomorrow?

-Hi!
-No, no, no. Let's do it. Let's do it.

I'm not really a shots girl.

That's okay. I'm not a shots girl either.

[Clem] Thank you so much.

-Okay. f*ck it. But I--
-Two for her.

Oh, my God. But I'm not gonna look cool.
I have to sip it.

-Thank you.
-Holy sh*t. What are we having?

-[Annie] Heavy pour.
-Tequila. Hope you like it.

The only upper alcohol.
Doesn't get you depressed.

-Cheers.
-You know what? Yeah!

-To Annie!
-To Annie!

-Happy birthday.
-Thank you.

-Yeah, happy birthday!
-Yeah!

-[Travis] Yes!
-[whooping]

-[Travis] That's our girl! Yeah!
-[Clem] Yo, we are so lit!

["Diva" playing]

Uh-uh. Oh, no.

Why are you so sad on your birthday?

-I don't know.
-You're an adult.

I don't understand why I'm not having fun.
It's, like, the one thing I'm good at.

Oh, honey. Here's a little secret.

Sometimes the party gets old.

We should just be celebrating
the fact that Annie's not here crying

and ruining the vibe.

Your sister really runs the show,
doesn't she?

You know, I got into, like,
a really sick summer camp at UCLA.

Like, apparently,
I'm a really kinda genius coder.

Well, congratulations. I mean, that's--

The thing is, I didn't go.

I didn't even tell Annie or my dad.

God forbid
she's not the smartest one in the family.

You know, Rory told me something once.

'Cause he's, like, my therapist.
We're enmeshed.

And he said, "Mom,

don't ever stand on your knees
just to make somebody else feel taller."

You are an adult today, which means

you don't ever have to be in situations
you don't wanna be in anymore.

Happy birthday, Connor.

Ooh. Thank you. I love folders.

That's an offer.
And a pretty damn good one.

If you ever decide to sell your island.

I would have sold, like, 45 years ago,

but my sisters said they'd never.

I said I'd never get married again.
I've been married, what, nine times?

Boom.

["Dracula" playing]

You genuinely… You…

I know you don't feel that way
and never have.

You have it together.

-I've met his ex, and she was like…
-Whoa!

"My favorite thing about you is
that you don't brush your hair."

And I was like, "I brush my hair."

And then your boobs got bigger than mine.
And then I--

They're not. They're not. They're not.

Yeah, you're right.

[inaudible]

-[sobs] I'm really proud of you.
-I'm proud of you.

And, like, you've always worked
harder than all of us--

No! You should be
so f*cking proud of yourself.

[inaudible]

-I'm not saying… We're going to dinner.
-I'm serious. I'm not just saying it.

I can make you dinner.

-[toilet flushes]
-I can be that girl.

Okay. Good night.

Oona.

Yep.

[Ramona] Come on, man.

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry
about what happened with Stacey Mallory.

I did some stupid sh*t,
I know that, but this whole vibe?

Like, still?

I get it, man. I'm a lot, I know.
I have a lot of baggage. I'm depressed.

And, like, Stacey Mallory is
the smarter choice, but… please.

Like, please don't push me away.

You're my best f*cking friend.

And if having you means losing you,
then just…

Just f*ck it. I don't want that.
Like, I don't…

-Can we just go back to how it was before?
-I don't want it to be how it was before.

But I just don't know if I can…

Look, I'm sorry about everything
that I've done recently.

Movie night and everything.

I know I've been such a shitty friend
to you, but I just…

This is scary, you know?

You are the best thing in my life,
and I don't want to lose you or hurt you.

Because if we try and it doesn't work,
then that's another person in my life.

And I don't know if I can risk it.
I don't know if I…

God, I've wanted to do this
for such a long time.

When did you turn 18?

Uh…

-Four months ago.
-How was it?

-Nice.
-Good.

I had this exact rite of passage.
I smoked a cigarette.

Sick. As if you haven't been smoking
since you were a child.

-Okay, I--
-Just on the piano, just…

That… You caught me,
like, a couple times doing that.

-Uh-huh.
-That was a middle-school phase.

Right.

Thanks for making me come out.
It ended up being really nice.

I'm glad you're having fun.

It was nice seeing you with Clem and Trav.

Oh, my God. It is so weird
to see people from home.

I feel like I forgot about my other life.

Your real life? New York?

[sighs]

You're good. You're good. You're just…

When you go on vacation too long,

you start to feel a little bit crazy,
and, you know…

But once we get back to the city,
you're gonna feel like yourself again.

It's gonna be good.

You can come visit me at Columbia.

Are you excited?

-For Columbia?
-Yeah.

Yeah.

[hesitantly] Yep.

-Yeah?
-Yep.

-No?
-Well, be honest.

Wouldn't it have sounded
a little bit cooler, right this second,

if I'd said,
"Oh, come visit me at Juilliard"?

-Oh, sh*t.
-What?

-Yes.
-No.

-You do.
-No.

-Damn.
-I didn't say that. I didn't say anything.

-All right. No, wait.
-I didn't say anything.

-It would.
-It wouldn't have.

-It would, and I've accepted it.
-It wouldn't have. What?

What were you gonna do?
You broke your hand.

You had to settle
on using your gigantic brain

and going to an Ivy League instead.

-I'm so sorry.
-Yeah.

-[Clem] Hi.
-[Annie] Hi, baby.

-Hi.
-I love you.

And I also hope you have, like,
a really good night.

[Rory] Look after…

[laughing]

-No, I am… Like, honestly?
-Yeah, I didn't say anything.

-Okay, bye, Travis.
-So good to see you.

It's good to see you. Goodbye.

-See you soon, hopefully.
-Yeah. For sure.

-Guys, get home safe.
-We'll try!

Yeah.

They're nice.

-Do you, like… Like, as a man…
-Uh-huh.

…if you have a woman
against a wall like this,

do you not have the urge to do that?

-Oh, nice. Hey, hey.
-You know what I mean?

'Sup? I'm Rory.

-Do you wanna talk about your feelings?
-[chuckles] What? Is that--

-'Sup? Yeah, wait.
-Is that what I sound like?

'Sup? I got a boathouse.

-Kinda hot, right?
-It's aggressive.

-I'm… Sorry.
-No, it's good.

-That's the kinda guy I am.
-Yeah.

-I would be doing that nonstop.
-Mmm-hmm.

-Wanna know a secret?
-Yeah.

Um…

I broke my own hand.

-What?
-I broke my own hand.

What? [chuckles] What do you mean?

I did it. I asked my cousin
to slam the car door on it.

[laughs] Oh, my God.
I don't mean to laugh.

That… So, walk me through that.

I did it because of this kid

called Xavier Plano,
which is a dumb f*cking name.

He came outta nowhere
when I was ten, he was nine,

and he was, like,
way better at piano than I was.

He was way, way, way, way, way better.

And, um… Yeah, and I cracked.

-I couldn't handle the idea--
-Just, like, not being the best?

Not being the best. Yeah.

And so I broke my hand.

And you wanna know
what the really annoying bit is?

I don't even think he enjoyed it.
And I loved it.

And now I can't play.

But at least I didn't lose to him.

Yeah.

I've never said any of that
out loud before.

-What are you thinking?
-What am I thinking?

Yeah.

I'm really not thinking.

Like, at all.

And I don't know.
That's a very good thing.

["Off to the Races" playing]

You wanna have sex?

-Yeah.
-You sure?

Yeah.

Do you?

Yeah, real bad.

[laughs]

You've done it before, right?

-Have I had sex?
-Yeah.

-Yeah, so many times.
-Okay.

[panting] You don't have to.

-You don't have to.
-No, no.

-Jesus. It's tight.
-[chuckles]

Yeah.

[moans]

[ethereal music playing]