09x17 - A Double Shot of Brandi

[bunniefuu]

- Breaking news right now.

- Breaking news right now.
Firefighters in California

are battling three separate
wildfires across the state.

[cell phone ringing]
- Oh, it's Camille.

How are you?
- I can see the flames.

- Sh...
- The cops came up the street

and said
"Mandatory evacuation.

You must leave
your house now."

- Denise, how are you?

- I've never seen anything

.....ing like this in my life.

I'm so scared
we're not even gonna get out,

and I think our house
might be burning down.

all: No!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- We need to choose two girls
for my e-com sh**t.

Yep. Come on out.

Can I see from behind?
- Yep.

- You know what?

I'm gonna put you
in a different bottom.

Just try that.

You look amazing.
Just step right up here.

Look how good that looks,
you guys.

I'm, like, dying.

[upbeat music]

[dog barks, whines]

♪ ♪

- Hi, Mommy.
- Hi, honey.

Do you have homework,
by the way?

- Um...
- Please tell me no.

- No.
- But do you really?

- Yes.
- Ugh! We got to get it done.

Just so you know,
I don't love homework either.

[horse neighs]

- Now watch your mommy.
Do you want to follow her?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Go catch her.

- Want to be the leader, Slate?
- Yeah.

- Okay. Hands down then.
Those are crazy hands.

Good job, and good...look
at your steering, Slate.

You're so great.
- Slate!

- Give me a five.
That was amazing.

Yes!

[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, hi.
- Oh, hey.

Hey, wait a minute.
- Hey, cutie.

- Did I just see how beautiful
you look in "CVLUX"?

- Oh...
- Oh, that is gorgeous.

- Thank you, Erika.
- You're a beautiful woman.

That's really pretty.
Look at that.

- Oh, thank you, Erika.

It was fun.
We had a great time.

- Lift the dress a little
and make it behind your ankle.

Yeah. Like that. Love.

And a little lower.
I see your hoochie.

- Yeah. I was gonna say,
I'm seeing snatch.

- Hey, ladies.
- Hey. How are you?

- Welcome to Frida.
- Hi.

- How you guys doing today?
- Thank you.

- Good.
I would like a Diet Coke...

- Okay.
- With lime.

- I'll have a regular Coke.

- Would you like to
start with guacamole?

- Yeah. Thanks.
- Yes, please.

Did you have fun
the other night?

- I had the best time ever,
because I was watching you.

Do you realize we were
on the Ferris wheel

talking to each other
like there was no big deal?

- Erika Jayne gives you
the permission

to do a whole lot of sh...
- A whole lot of permission.

- She gives you a whole lot
of permission to do...

- It's so .....ing fun.
- I know, right?

That's why I did it.
That's why I created it.

- It's so .....ing fun
to be you.

- I heard Kim say, "Even
Erika Jayne's not that rude."

[laughs]

I love that Lisa Rinna

would come to Farrah-ween

as Erika Jayne at Coachella.

Honey, when you're
a Halloween costume,

you have made it.

- Kim and I talked.

We worked it out. We said...
- Good.

- "Let's move on." The end.
- Good.

- Bye-bye.
- Good.

- If I hadn't been you,
it wouldn't have happened.

You know, I never had any bad
feelings about Kim Richards.

I always really liked her.

Congratulations
on your daughter's marriage.

- Can you believe it?
I...yes.

- What a wonderful,
wonderful moment.

- Yeah.
- And I think it's time

for healing to take place.

If you tell me to my face
how you feel about me,

I'm totally cool...like,

I don't care if you like me,
don't like me.

You know, Camille says
one thing to someone's face,

and she's talking
behind people's backs,

which is never good,
as we know.

- Teddi told me
about what happened in the van.

- What does everyone think
of the article I just sent you?

- I'm a little surprised,
to be honest.

- She could have warned us
at the breakfast we just had.

- She just said,
"I am so hurt that Lisa

didn't even reach out
or post anything."

- I'm so confused.

- This situation
with "People" magazine

is almost like a talking
behind all of our backs.

- You guys had had it.

- We just .....ing got
pissed off, but we're like...

- Yeah. You had it.
- "[BLEEP] you."

And then what we realized

was she'd been saying things
about other people.

- Who's that?
- She'd said a couple of things

about Dorit
that weren't lovely.

- I just feel that, you know,

Dorit, there's a little bit
of phoniness,

and I don't know
where she's at.

Like, I don't know if she has
all the money she has.

- And then I guess she said
a few things about Teddi.

- To who?
- Denise.

- PK said something to Kyle,
but then Teddi just jumped in.

I just feel like
she's a bit of a know-it-all.

- I understand the girls are
very frustrated with Camille.

They've gone to her shower and
her wedding and her birthday,

and to hear that they feel
betrayed...you know,

I understand.

So now she's got beef
with Vanderpump, beef with us,

she's got side beef with Dorit,
and now side beef with Teddi.

- Yeah. She doesn't know
she has beef with Dorit,

but she has beef with Dorit.
- Is about to.

[laughing]

[bright electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Excellent.
- Okay, a jump would be nice.

That's it.

- Remember, I told you,
the Beverly Beach girl.

- Yeah.
- She's strong.

She's confident.

Aspen, you look amazing.
- Right.

- It's the first time
I'm doing athletic wear,

and I'm so excited.
I'm so proud of it.

From the beginning to this
point, watching it grow,

watching it become something
that I'm super proud of...

- Yeah?
- I just feel like...

there's a big future
in Beverly Beach Athleisure.

Today's really important,
because I'm sh**ting footage

for my upcoming window
display for Kitson.

- I want something that,
when people are driving by

on Robertson Boulevard,
they go, "Oh, my gosh.

Stop the car, honey."
both: Yes.

- "There's Dorit's
bathing suit,"

athleisure wear, whatever.
- Yes!

- So that's what
we really want.

- Ooh! I love it.

- Imagine walking up and seeing

"Beverly Beach."

- So fine.
- Ah!

And it's such an incredible
honor for me,

so I really want to nail it.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Oh, you're my little angel.
Come to Mommy.

Come to Mommy, my angel.

Hi, baby. I'm so glad you came
to see Mommy at work.

- Hi.
- Hi, baby. Love you.

Okay, this is my husband, PK.

- Yeah.
We met briefly yesterday.

How you doing?
- That's right.

This is my daughter Phoenix.
- Hi, Phoenix.

- [babbles]

- Jagger's fully ready to work.

That's so Jagger for you.
- Mommy, can I change?

- You want to change
into your shorts now?

- Yeah.

- You do?
- Yeah.

- Okay, so you need
to help Mommy sell

the boys' shorts.

- I'll do my best poses.
- Okay.

You'll do your best poses?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Well, go in
the dressing room, then,

and get changed
into the shorts.

Today, I get the face
of Beverly Beach boys trunks

on set with Mommy,
and I'm so excited.

- Oh, look at that.
I love that.

Do a little dance for me, Jag.

♪ ♪

- Did you want to just take
a couple pictures with Matt?

Oh, I love that, guys.

Okay, you've got one more short
to try on now.

Okay, so let's go
get you another short.

- You did such a good job.
- Yay, Jagger.

- Great jobs.
- Whoo!

So Jaggy, let's get you
in the elastic.

This way, baby.

- We only have this one.
- Which one?

- This one that he's wearing.

- Where is my elastic short,
Kimberly?

- The black one,
but it has a big stain on it.

I can go get it real quickly.

- Honey,
why didn't you bring it?

I told you we need one of each.
Why?

- I know. I don't know.

I forgot.
- Oh, my God.

- It was in the bag
in the office.

Do you want me to go get it?
- [BLEEP]. Ugh!

I've done hundreds
and hundreds of photoshoots.

I don't ever remember a time
that something didn't go wrong.

I could not have said
more particularly,

"I need a list of all
the things for the e-com

and anything
that we're missing."

It's impossible
for everything to be perfect,

but you've got
to figure it out,

because there's a lot of money
and a lot of time

and a lot of effort
that goes into it,

so you want this to go
without a hitch

and make the most
and the best of the situation.

Okey dokey. Here we go.

♪ ♪

- Little smirk.
- I love it.

Slay, slay, slay.

- Eyes to me.

- Guys, this is the final
shot, Jaggy.

- Final shot.
- It's the final shot.

- Okay.
- Whoo!

- So cute!
- Whoo!

- Yes!

- Yes!
- Perfect.

[cheering]

- Coming up...

- His energy's so effed up.

- What?
- What are you doing?

- So I'm responsible
for this behavior?

- Oh, no.
- Maybe half responsible.

- Oh, no.
- I don't think so.

I think you're responsible.

[uplifting dance music]

♪ ♪

[dogs barking]
- Stop.

No, guys.

No! Bambi! Sh... [BLEEP].

They're...no. Sh...

Sorry. Storm, treats.

Treats.
Treat...get in the house.

Treats.

Storm, come on.
Ugh.

Mother.....ers.

Storm, shut up.
Stop it, you guys.

[line trilling]
Why can't you guys behave?

Stop. My God.

- Hosted Villas,
may I help you?

- This is Kyle Richards
calling.

How are you? Shh.

- I'm great. How are you?
- I'm good, thank you.

I have a couple of questions.

I'm calling about
the Chateau Ventoux.

How do you pronounce it?

[whispers] Stop it.
- Chateau Ventoux. Yes.

- Chateau Ventoux. Yes, is it...
- Yes.

- I have a couple
of questions for you.

I am thinking to bring
some girlfriends there

and stay there,
and I want to check some dates

that you potentially
have available,

and I have
a couple of questions.

We've been doing a lot of trips
and having a lot of fun,

and I came across
a "Vogue" article.

It showed this gorgeous
chateau in Provence.

I've never been to Provence,
so for me,

this is exciting and something
on my bucket list.

I see you have
plenty of bedrooms,

so no one's gonna
have to share.

- We have nine rooms.

- So that will work.
- Perfect, perfect.

- We have an assistant chef
and a server,

as well as full-time
housekeeping staff.

- Can we have a chef come in
maybe for breakfast

or dinner,
either way?

- Breakfast, lunch,
dinner, snacks.

You name it.

- Okay. That sounds amazing.
Okay.

What I'm gonna do is
I'm gonna reach out

to the rest of the girls
'cause I hope to

get these dates to work,
and then take it from there.

- Okay. Thank you.
You take care, Kyle.

- Take care. Bye-bye.
Okay, Dorit.

[line trilling]

Storm.

- Hi, honey.
- How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?
- I'm good.

Remember we talked
about the wine tasting trip

I wanted to take?
- Yes.

- I was actually thinking
we could go somewhere.

Wine tasting,
girls' trip, relaxing.

- Yes.
- There is a chateau

in Provence
that looks unbelievable.

- Oh, my God.

- I mean the Bahamas trip
was fun, but very tense...

- Why would somebody do that

to two good people?
- I don't have that answer.

I'm not responsible
for Lisa Vanderpump's actions.

And the camping trip
was really fun,

but not really glamorous.

- [screams] Oh, they threw
that .....ing rat in here.

Assholes.

- So I wanted to go somewhere
that's gonna be fun and chic

and exciting
where we can relax and bond.

Even though it's wine
tasting country,

we'll have a little tequila.
- Oh, yes!

- And there's, like, a full
staff and everything, and...

- Like a chef and everything?

- Oh, we have a
chef...full-time chef.

I'm really hoping we can
all make that work,

because they're
booking up, so...

- Oh, sh**t. Okay.
- Yeah.

- I'm 99%, but I got to
just run it by Edwin.

He's not gonna care, but I've
just got to run it by him.

- I suppose I should run it
by my husband too.

[laughter]
[dogs barking]

- Did you want turkey hotdogs?
- Yeah, please.

And Delilah is eating what?

- Well, isn't
she the vegetarian?

- No, Amelia is the vegetarian.

Are they both vegetarians
right now?

I don't know.
It's hard to keep track.

- I have no idea
what Amelia is.

- Do you like this butter
left out?

- Absolutely.
- I feel like

that's just not right.
- Oh, no.

It has to be left out.
That's the whole point.

- But Harry, I feel like
it's gonna have

salmonella or something.

I love, more than anything,

to have my whole family here.

- So comfy.
- Oh, I'm gonna cry.

- Whee.

- Who does the cooking?
- You do.

But lately, Harry's been
in Canada or camping,

the girls are traveling,
they're working,

and I have to say,
when I'm home alone,

I come up with things
to entertain myself,

so I've pretty much...like,
I'm okay with being alone.

- What are these dots?
- They're tree sap.

- Well, I don't want tree sap.
- Well, come sit here.

- Lookit.
- Well, that's nothing big.

[phone ringing]

- Oh, you're getting
a phone call.

Hello?

- Did you see, by any chance,
who ate all the cheese

that I bought
for the cheeseburgers?

- Um, what cheese?
- Mm-hmm. Okay.

All right. I'll get
to the bottom of it.

I'll find the culprit.

- That will really
do you justice.

Okay. Bye-bye.
Yeah.

- Okay. Bye.

- I bet he ate the cheese,
by the way...last night.

Probably doesn't remember.
- No, he didn't.

- He doesn't remember
anything anymore.

He probably ate
the whole pack of cheese.

- Harry has a side to him
that loves to make things nice.

- [sighs] Okay.
There's pie number one.

[oven door squeaks]

Good job, Lisa.
- Thank you, Harry.

Who ate the cheese last night?

- Me.
- You don't eat cheese.

- I made a grilled cheese.
- With five slices of cheese?

- Harry, you got
to cook that meat.

It's getting flies on it.

- There's no flies on the meat.

- I'm not hungry.

- Oh. Oh, my God.

- You guys have to eat
a little bit for Dad.

- No. I'm just not hungry.
I'm allergic to everything.

- Are you allergic to salad?

- No. I can have salad,
but I don't like that salad.

- Amelia has issues with food.

- No matter how many deaths
anorexia causes,

all I cared about
was the skinniness.

- I know.

You watch Amelia

take two steps forward,
one step back,

and it is not an easy,

clean, like,
"Okay, great," you know,

"you did that, you had that,
you got the help.

You're"...you know,
it's not like that.

It's just, you know,
one day at a time.

- Delilah, will you have
a veggie burger?

- Settle down.
- Yeah.

- Amelia, will you have
a veggie burger?

- No. Thanks, though.

- Just have a little bit of it.
- I don't want food right now.

I don't need to be...
I'm allergic to even corn.

- The scariest thing
about anorexia is,

is she gonna have this forever?

- Yum.
- Anybody else want a hotdog?

I'm gonna have a hotdog.

- Force feeding me.
Like, I ain't hungry.

- Oh.

- Is this a veggie burger?
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna say this is
a very interesting burger.

I don't know if I like it.
- I don't.

- Dad buys some
crazy veggie burgers.

- It's not even vegan.
It's just some random...

- I love you,
but it tastes like rubber.

- Someone should give me
a little heads-up about that.

- Well, you should ask.
- Now I know.

- Mm-hmm.

- I don't want to
see her suffer.

You want to fix it.

You want to make it go away.

You want to erase it,
and, you know,

you just want
to take your child out of pain.

You don't want your child
to be in pain.

- All done here now, right?
- Yep.

- Okay.
I mean, you guys

can get up
and can take your plates in.

- I don't need to
take my plate in.

- Oh, God.

- Quit breaking him.
- Mom...

- So you guys will leave
your plates there.

That's fine.
I'm gonna have some dessert.

- Don't do that.
- He's so weird.

- He's so mean.

- You can't help
but blame yourself.

You know, it's like,
what did we do to [BLEEP]

her up?
Maybe we did something.

I don't know.
I just know that it's really,

really hard to watch
Amelia be in pain.

- Does it really upset you
that I can't

eat your food that you make?
- Yeah.

- Does it really
make you angry?

I'm sorry. We're gonna have
to work through it.

His energy is so effed up.

- What?
- What are you doing?

Why is your energy like this?

- What do you mean?
- What are you talking about?

- You're very passive
aggressive.

"Oh, you can't eat my food?
Oh, okay."

Like, hello.
Hello.

- Are you the father
of these children?

- So I'm responsible
for this behavior?

- Oh, no.
- Maybe half responsible.

- Oh, no.
- I don't think so.

- I don't think I'm responsible
for this behavior.

I think you're responsible
for this behavior.

- Coming up...

- That's where we're staying?
- Yeah.

- That's where we're gonna
stay.

- That's huge.
- Yes.

- Well, so is Camille invited?
- Of course.

We're gonna beat her up
in France.

[dynamic electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I'm here for Kyle Richards.
- Ah.

Welcome to Herringbone
Santa Monica.

- Thank you.
- Follow me.

- I'm the first?
- So here you go.

- Thank you.
- All right. Enjoy.

- All right.
- Definitely.

- I'll just plop down here.

- Hi. How are you?

- Hi. Oh, I love your look.
- Oh, thanks.

- You look great.
- Thank you. So do you.

- Thank you.

- Hi.
- Hi. Gorgeous. Wow.

- I thought that was you.
- Yes.

- Oh, I have a spoon.
- What's happening, ladies?

Did you see the pictures
I just posted

from Farrah's party?
- No.

- I got the
professional photos.

And there's a great one
I just posted of you.

if you swipe, you can
see...of you dressed as Erika.

- Oh, I got to see it!

Took me a long time
to get out of Erika Jayne.

That was a hoot of a time,
I have to say.

- Oh, my God.

- Things were obviously
a little rough

between Kim and Lisa Rinna.

- You know what?
I want to say one thing, Kim.

You giving Lisa Rinna
that bunny was really [BLEEP].

- Oh, my goodness gracious.

- Kidding?
- That was so awkward.

Lisa was using her
Erika persona

to speak rudely to my sister,

and I don't want to say
anything right now,

but I feel like
this is complete bullsh...

- Hi.
- Hello, girls.

- Hi, gorgeous. How are you?
- Hello, my darlings. Hello.

- Good to see you.
- How's everything?

- Hi.
- Hi, guys.

Oh, red lip.

- So how are you doing?

- I had my e-com
sh**t yesterday...

- I saw that. How'd that go?
- So good.

It's a really long day.

It's very stressful,
and leading up to it,

obviously you have to get
all your ducks

in a row...the right models

and make everything...you know,
make everything come together.

So you know I'm doing
the Kitson window, right?

- Yes!
- No!

- Yes.
- Congrats.

- Thank you.
- I didn't know that.

- Yes. Yes, I'm designing
a whole window for Kitson.

- That's fabulous.
- I'm super excited about it.

- So fun.
- And it's also something that,

you know,
it's blending my design skills

with something
that...it's so foreign,

so I'm sort of learning as I go

and doing
a lot of research about it.

- Hi.
- Hi, Denise.

- This is nice, and um,

private.
- How are you?

- Isn't it?
- We like to be private.

- Dorit was just telling us
about doing a window

for Kitson
with her new current line.

- Yes.
- Are you so excited?

- I'm very excited.
I'm really proud of it.

It looks really, really good.

Kyle calls me the other day,
and she's like,

"Dorit, I really want
to do this trip.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
So I spoke to PK...

- Okay.
- He's in London.

He said, "You know what, honey?
Do it." So I'm in.

- Perfect.
- Yes. Yes.

- Harry was like, "Oh!"

You know, Harry's like,
"Go, have a great time."

So I get to go!
- Yeah!

- Are we ordering?

- Yeah. Let's order.
- Would you be able to do,

like, an avocado toast

with some poached eggs on top?

- Yeah. They can do that.
- Maybe the apple.

- Albarino?
- Yeah.

- It's large.
- What does it mean,

"Two-hand burger"?

- It just means that you need
two hands to eat it.

- Oh. Can they do it
without the pepper?

- Yeah.
- Thank you so much.

- Easily.
It's my pleasure.

- Sorry I'm late.
- Hi, Erika.

- Hi.
- How are you?

- I'm good.

- What's happening?
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Well, you know,

I closed my store yesterday.

- Oh, you did?
- I felt so bad.

I started bawling when I left.

- How long has that been open?
- Seven years.

- Oh, wow.

- Growing up here and driving
down the street

that I've driven down
my entire life,

and all of a sudden, to see
my name on the corner there,

it felt exciting.

Okay, I'll get ready.

[clamoring, cheering]

Work it, girls! Work it!

Good job, honey. Good job.

The rent in Beverly Hills is
absolutely through the roof,

so that combined
with the fact that

more people are
shopping online,

it just didn't
make sense anymore.

Like, a lot of people
are leaving.

I was like, the street
is getting very quiet.

- Yeah. Well, you know,
they raised those rents.

They can't afford it.
It's really sad.

I can so relate to Kyle,
because I've been there.

In my position with Harry,

we were relying on Belle Gray
as our income,

so it was a little bit
more precarious for us.

Luckily, Kyle's in a position
where Mauricio's done really,

really well, so for Kyle,
she's gonna be fine.

- You guys, now that
we're all here,

I want to just run by you
really fast...first of all,

I want to show you the website.
Look. Okay.

- That's where we're staying?

- That's where
we're gonna stay.

- That's huge.
- Yeah, it's really pretty.

- Oh, so it's big!

- Yeah.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Yes, it's big.
There's a lot of us.

- You're coming, right?
- Yes.

- Oh, this'll be fun.
- I know.

Have you ever been there?
- I've been to Provence,

but I don't think I've ever
been to anything like this.

- A little nervous about
the chateau situation.

I like a hotel with my own room
where I can lock my door

and escape if I need to.

My little OCD moment.

But I'm open to it,

'cause I like the word
"chateau."

[laughs]

So what are we wearing?

- I think it's very cashmere
sweater-y.

- I think so too.
But not, like, super glam.

- They know glamour, so you're
gonna have a good time.

- We're gonna be in a house

in the beautiful
French countrysides.

There's no need for glam.
I look good enough.

- Is Camille gonna
go on the trip?

- I hope so. I don't know.

- Did you invite her?
- I didn't get a chance

to talk to her about it.
I left her a message,

so she's...I don't know yet
if she can come.

- I mean what did she say?
Can't you just say?

- I can't say it.

She should say it to you,
because you know what?

It's not my place.

Maybe I go to Camille and say,
"You know what, Camille?

You got to talk to Dorit.
I said something to her."

- But at this point,
can't we just know?

- No. I'm not gonna say it.

If I hadn't gotten mad
at Camille

in the van that day,

I probably wouldn't have
said anything

ever to Dorit.

Camille needs to own
her sh... now,

and if you've been talking
behind anybody's back here,

she better, like, step up
and tell everybody,

'cause I know
for a fact she has.

I'm sorry, but she did, and I
don't want to say that to you.

- And I know we all love her,
but I'm gonna be honest.

She makes the back
of the little hairs

on your neck just stand up.

- What a b*tch.

- I don't want to
hurt her feelings.

If Camille is gonna
pretend to kiss

Dorit's a*s,
invite her to her wedding,

and yet say nasty things
about her behind her back,

well, she's gonna have
to tell her now, isn't she?

- It's actually scary, someone
could be so nice, so friendly,

and make you feel like you guys

are well past anything
that happened last year,

and then go back to it
to someone else

as if she's got
some residual feelings.

- What?
- Well, wait till Lisa hears

what she said about her.
- Oh, my God.

Before Lisa Vanderpump
got her teeth redone,

I had such an issue
with the gums.

I was like, "Honey,
you need new caps.

Your gum line is receding."

- It didn't please me to hear
her say the thing

about Lisa Vanderpump,

even though I wasn't
in the world's best place.

That doesn't please me.
- That was a very good point.

When someone does that,
it's like, you think,

"Well,
what is she saying about me?"

♪ ♪

- I thought the wedding
was perfect. I can't...

- Oh...
- I couldn't be more thrilled

about how it all came out.

- It was more beautiful
than I expected.

And you looked amazing.
- Oh, thank you.

It's a great feeling
having a life partner.

I love it.
I mean, there's a feeling

of security and safety
and love and family

that I've missed not being
married, and it feels right.

They all looked gorgeous
at the wedding.

- They did.

- And I loved
Lisa's pink dress.

And Teddi looked cute too.

- She was a little odd at the
airport when we were leaving.

- And I'm a little
PO'ed by it.

- Because that's my kid.
- I know.

I found out that,
at the airport,

coming back from Hawaii,

my daughter said "hi"
to Teddi,

and Teddi snubbed her,

and Mason felt really bad
about that.

That's when my mommy claws
come out.

[growls]
Like...[screeches]

I don't like the way that
Teddi's been acting towards me.

I don't like the way
she's been giving me attitude.

She's just gotten a little big
for her britches.

And then to take jabs at me
saying stuff about, like,

"Why are you wishy-washy
about how I feel,

"whether I'm gonna pick
a side with this thing

with Lisa Vanderpump?"

I've been around
Lisa Vanderpump

and Kyle
and their relationship...

- For years.
- For a very, very long time.

I see Vanderpump's
point of view.

I feel for Kyle.

So I know the dynamic...

- Mm-hmm.
- Of the relationship,

and, you know,
Lisa has been there for me,

and she has been there
for Kyle.

- Just listen to you guys.
- Women, right?

- Complex.
- It is, isn't it?

Isn't it just...
- I mean, unbelievable.

- Do I say anything to Teddi?
I don't know.

- I think you should
address it.

- It just makes me feel
uncomfortable.

It's just one of those things.

Do I bring it up
and have her bark at me?

- Oh, it's such a fine line.
I don't know.

- Can she take criticism?
I'm not sure if she can.

But she's
an accountability coach.

Go figure.

- Well, so is Camille invited

on this trip, or...
- Of course she's invited.

Obviously right now Camille's
not on the best of terms

with everyone,
but I think that if I were to

go out of my way
not to invite Camille,

that's really making
a statement.

- Of course. We're gonna beat
her up in France.

[laughter]

We've got to kick her a*s
in France, man.

- Coming up...

- Hello, kitty cat.
Cheers, b*tch.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- Right this way.
- Thank you.

- All right. Wait.
You're walking way too fast.

[laughs]
- I'm sorry.

- The heels fall in between
the wood planks.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Hi. How's it going?

- Good. How are you?
- All right. My name is Jason.

I'll be taking care
of you guys this evening...

- Thank you.
- So if you guys have

any questions, let me know.

- Okay. Thank you.
- All right.

Anything to drink
besides water for now?

- I think I'm gonna
have a drink,

but I'll wait for her...
- Sure.

- And see if she does.

- Hello, kitty cat.

- Whoa, hot mama.
- Hi, gorgeous.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

Oh, my gosh.
- Look at you.

- I'm gonna start hooking
on the side. No.

- Oh, well, you know what?
- No.

- Those girls make good money.
- Right?

- I think I am too.
- All right, [BLEEP] together.

- Right?
- No. I'm coming

from someplace in Hollywood,
I don't have time to change,

and now I'm a hooker.
- Who cares?

Well, if only hookers
looked like you, see?

- Well, [BLEEP],
a lot of them do,

especially if they're Russian.

I'm not lying.
They're gorgeous.

Not that I'm saying
I'm gorgeous,

but you know what I mean.

Like, they're pretty.

- You are gorgeous.
- Well, thank you.

- I'm so glad that Alec
introduced us finally.

- No, but he's not happy
about it.

He's like, "You guys
are trouble together,"

and I'm like,
"No, we had the best time.

What are you talking about?"

- No, but we have
so much in common.

Brandi and I
have a mutual friend.

That's how the two of us met.

We went to dinner one night,
hit it off.

I think she's crazy fun,
and I like her.

- Have you decided
on drinks yet?

- Absolutely.
- Yeah?

- I'll have rosé.
- Yeah?

- And then I'll take
Casamigos Reposado.

- Just like our last date.

- I know.
- I think Denise is awesome.

We've been through
the wringer together

with these public divorces.

- God, there's so much
to talk about.

- I know.
- Jesus Christ.

- What you see is
what you get, period.

There is no bullsh...
She's just Denise.

So I was looking
at your Instagram,

and you were
with Patrick Muldoon.

- Yes.
- But, like,

didn't you guys date?
- Yeah.

- I'm looking at
your Instagram,

and I'm thinking,
"These two used to [BLEEP]."

How the [BLEEP]
is your husband handling that?

- You know what?
You're so funny to say that.

- No. I'm being serious.

- No.
My husband's so supportive.

He seems
so fine with all of that.

- They all seem fine
until they're not fine.

- They're really not?
You know what?

If it was the reverse,
I probably would be

upset with Aaron.
- Absolutely.

- Like, if he did that, I think

I would have been .....ing mad.
- I would k*ll him.

- Eddie Cibrian said
you slit his tires.

Is that true?
- Yeah.

- Okay. Oh. Okay.

- We need more...we need drinks
upon drinks upon drinks.

At Casamigos, I apparently
punched someone in the face,

which I did not do.

Listen. I admit that
I might have slapped

a pretty English older woman
in the face once.

- Pick on somebody
your own...No.

- But I'm not out
in the streets, like,

punching dudes in the face.

The guy told the cops
the next day

that I had nothing
to do with it,

I didn't witness it,
and I wasn't even there.

- That's awful. This is why
this stuff is so .....ed up.

It's .....ed up.
- It's terrible.

There was some story
that they think Lisa Vanderpump

planted in...I think
it was "Radar Online"

or one of those..."Daily Mail"
or whatever.

- She does have a direct
hotline

to "Radar Online,"
to be honest.

- And I don't know her well
enough to know

if she leaked it or not.
- Well, she did, for sure.

And of course
she's gonna like you,

'cause you're young
and pretty and blunt,

and she likes pretty things.

- Mm-hmm.
- She liked

Dorit, she likes me.

Lisa Vanderpump and I were best
friends for five years.

Let's be clear.

- What is this? "Super Strap"?
- Oh, yes.

- You put it
over your mattress.

- I slip and slide?

- You put it over
your mattress.

- Who am I gonna slip
and slide with?

- After do a shot of tequila.

- [laughing]

Do not put him there.
It's not safe.

- Where's the peanut butter?
- Get him out...

Thank you for being a friend.
No, I mean it.

No, you are
a good friend to me.

Exactly. Thank you. Thank you.

- I love you.
- Thank you. I love you too.

- Whatever she wants out there,
she gets out there.

We were leaving for Palm
Springs, and Lisa was there.

I had the tabloids at my house.

She goes,
"You need to bring this."

And she put it back
in my luggage.

If you cross her in any way...

- Mm-hmm.
- Which I did...

- Well, did you cross her, or
did you stand up for yourself?

- A little bit of both.

- But that's...
- No. I kind of crossed her.

- You did?
- I said,

"You're not telling the truth
in this situation."

- I want to know the truth

about the tabloids
in the suitcase.

- I didn't see the tabloids
until I got back.

- No, that's not true.

Literally,
the past three years

being punished
for crossing her in a way...

- Why would she do that
to her friend, though?

- She really, in her head,
does nothing wrong.

- All right.
I have another round

for you guys.
- Oh, thank you.

- I think we need
food though too.

- I want some carbs
with some oil and salt.

- I think I might
do a salad too.

- Thank you, hon.
- You're welcome.

- We're not, like,
"hot difficult" at all.

- Okay. Here. Cheers.
- Cheers, b*tch.

- I...cheers, b*tch.

Maybe you should come
with us on our trip.

We're going to Provence.

- Provence.
- We're going wine tasting.

- Oh, [BLEEP]. I'm in.
- Sure. You can come.

- Great.

- I have some carbs
for you guys.

- Thank you.
- Can you give me a double?

- Two glasses?
- In one.

- Two glasses in one?

- If you bring me two glasses,
I will k*ll you.

- Okay. Okay.

- And do you want another one?

- Yeah.
- I will in a minute.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Brandi could drink me
under the table for sure.

I sip it.
I don't do shots of tequila.

I .....ing sip that sh...
I know how much to sip.

- So Kim called me,
and I was like,

"What are you talking about?

She's the sweetest person
ever."

- Oh, about me?
- Yes.

- She told me how much
she liked me,

but probably not anymore.
- I know Lisa so well,

and I know she doesn't have
a mean bone in her body.

- Oh!
- I really do.

No, Kim, she doesn't.

- You don't know what
she's done to me.

- She's like, "That b*tch,"
and I'm like, "Oh, my God."

- But why am I a b*tch?
I was trying to reassure her

that Lisa Rinna
didn't mean anything by it.

- You know what?
I want to say one thing, Kim.

You giving Lisa Rinna
that bunny was really [BLEEP].

- [gasps]
- Was it bad timing? Probably.

Was it the right thing to say?
Probably not.

- Bad timing,
bullsh... thing to say...

- And that's okay.
We all [BLEEP] up.

We all make mistakes.
- That's it.

Exactly. Especially me.
- She made a mistake...

- Exactly.
- All I know is they should

just move on from it.

It's a .....ing bunny.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

[phone rings]
- Oh, it's Camille calling.

- Oh.
- Uh, yes, I can go.

- Amazing! So all's good then.
I mean...

- Till we get to France.
- [laughs]

[waves crashing]

- Hi, honey.

- Hey, baby.
- It looks good.

- It's getting there.
- It's coming along.

How's it going?

♪ ♪

- Well, we just got
the power on.

- You did? It's almost there.

Aaron's been crazy busy,
and I've been traveling a lot,

working a lot,
and so we definitely make sure

not too much time goes by
before we see each other.

Sami and Lola were good?
- A little bit.

- Who wasn't good?
I got the pictures...

- You know,
they're teenagers, and...

- You sent. [laughs]

You sent me pictures
of her messy room and bathroom.

- No.
You know what it was, baby?

- What?
- I just walked in

and picked up all...she uses
every towel in the hall...

- I know, but...
- Throws it,

and then walks away
like it doesn't...

- Okay, but I told you
before I left

that I would talk to her
when I got home.

I have to, as a girl,
figure out the best way

to get this across to her,
but I'm already, like, worried,

because I feel terrible
that I'm leaving you

with everyone
while you're in the middle

of putting
your .....ing center together.

I'm also going out of town
on vacation,

coming back, going to France
with the ladies,

so then I feel bad.

Do I even go to that?

It always stresses me out
to leave town, no matter what.

I have to make sure
the kids are taken care of,

and now I have my new husband,
we're newlyweds,

and I have been gone a lot,

and I give him a lot of credit
being able to be so supportive.

- Every time I go and say
something

in a calm, cool,
collected manner,

she says, "Stop yelling at me."

- I know.
- I'm like...I'm talking to her.

- I know, but can I tell you
how to talk to a girl?

- How? How do you do this?
- As a little girl.

You have a voice that carries,
which is amazing, but...

- Thank you for the compliment.

- A girl that's 13 might
perceive that as "yelling."

[laughing]
- Okay.

- Between Charlie and Aaron,

Charles is definitely
the easier-going parent.

Aaron's actually pretty strict

in having boundaries
with the girls

but makes them feel
very safe and secure.

Sometimes we need a guy to say,

"Hey, Lola,
can you do me a huge favor?

It'll help me so much if
you can just please clean up,"

to her in a language
she'll understand.

- Oh. I see. You gotta...okay.
- [laughs] You know what, baby?

I owe you, like, a bachelor
party in Vegas or something.

- I need something, you know?
- I'm gonna do it for you.

- Go motorcycle across
the country or something.

- I'm gonna take care of it,

and I'll talk to you in,
like, four days.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

- I feel like I need scarves
or warm stuff.

- It's definitely colder there.
It's, like, 100 degrees here.

- I agree.
- Do you want to make

this light?
- Yeah. Let's make this light.

Every time I'm over here now,
I'm thinking about my store.

You know, I closed my store,
like, officially.

- I know. I know.
- It was really depressing.

- Kyle...
- I don't know why I'm so sad.

I...
- You should be sad.

- This is really depressing.
- Oh.

- I know.
- It's a big space.

- Oh. My chandeliers.
I need to take them out.

- You definitely need
to get them out of here.

- Yeah, and all the mirrors,

but I got to go back
and get them.

This sucks.
- I'm sorry, babe.

- Well I did...thank you.

I did find a space
that I really like.

- See?
- But...

- But what?
- Because I've never done it

from the ground up on my own,
I need help.

This has been a very
challenging time for me.

The staff doesn't have a job
right now, and, you know,

I'm like...
- It sucks.

- You know, it's just a lot
to think about,

and, you know, I don't know.

Look at this.
"Provence."

- On someone else's mind too,
I guess.

How come we...
- How funny is that? Provence.

Of course,
as I pass Villa Blanca,

I think of fun times with Lisa.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

You look gorgeous.
- I love that.

- Hello.
- How are you?

- How are you? Hi.
- This is Briana.

- [laughing] Cheers. Cheers.

Now, I don't focus
on what's happened recently.

You think I did that.
- I'm saying...

- I'm done with you too.
- Maybe you care more

about your image
than your friendships.

- Bye, Kyle.
Show yourself out, darling.

- It makes me sad to think

this chapter
of my life is closed.

- Oh, let's look in here.
- Should we go in here?

- Yeah. Let's check this out.
- Okay. Cool.

- Maybe they have some scarves.
- Let's get a scarf.

♪ ♪

- Hi. How are you?
- Hello. Welcome. Good.

- Oh, look at this with
the cherry blossoms.

both: That's pretty.
I like cherry blossoms.

- This is also
a really pretty scarf,

by the way,
and feel the fabric.

I think maybe this one's...
- I like that on you.

- I think I do too.
- Look at this.

This looks like denim.
It looks like denim.

- That's a unique scarf.
- Wait. Are these pants?

- Those are... [laughs]

- I mean what's more French
than a scarf and a beret?

All we're missing
is a baguette and cheese.

- It is pretty.
I could wear this.

- Yeah, you could.
[cell phone ringing]

It looks nice on you.

I'm looking
for some more scarves.

Are they...I need something
a little bit more...

- Oh. It's Camille calling.
- Oh.

Hello, Camille.
- Hello.

- Hello, Kyle.
Can you hear me?

- I can. You got my message
about the trip to Provence?

- I went over my schedule.

I talked to Mason
and the kids,

and, yes, I can go.

[shady music]

- Amazing! Oh, my gosh.
- Yay!

I am so excited
that you included me

on this and...
- Are you kidding? Of course.

We'll talk to you later.

both: Bye.
- Bye.

- Um...well, that's...

so she's coming.

- That's good.
- So all's good then.

- Till we get to France.
I mean...

- She just
doesn't know that yet.

- [cackles]

- Coming up...

- It's Camille.
How are you?

- Okay. It's just stressful.

It's crazy, because I'm kind
of in a canyon area,

and the next canyon over,
you can see the flames.

sh**ting up.

[dance music]

♪ ♪

- No, but I'm pretty excited.

I've never, like,
been fancy wine tasting.

- They give you the tastings...
- Yeah?

- And you get, like, drunk.
It's terrible.

- That's t... [laughs]
- Make sure you eat

before you go.
And then you're like...

- So you can't really track
how much you're drinking.

- Yeah, and then
you're Turnt-Up Tina

next thing you know.

- I can't be Turnt-Up Tina.

This is a hard group
to be Turnt-Up Tina with.

- Dangerous.
- ♪ Danger ♪

[funky music]

- So I'm not gonna need
any of this stuff.

It's not that kind of trip.

- Okay.
- Well, maybe one.

- Or that one.
- Oh, my God.

I feel really, really frazzled.
What do I need to get?

Okay.

Actually, this could
come in handy on the trip.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- These are Valentino
rain boots

and these are Hunter
rain boots.

- Well, you got to bring
both of them.

- Which ones do you
like better?

- I like these.
- You do?

- These are too, like...

- See, I like these better,

but I know you like these.

- What...
- All right. So I'll bring...

- [BLEEP] what I like.
It's what you wanna...

- Okay. [BLEEP] it.
I'm bringing...

I'm .....ing bringing both.
[BLEEP].

All right.
Can you fold this sh...?

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Breaking news right now.

Firefighters in California
are battling

three separate
wildfires across the state.

- Right now,
a massive wildfire

ravaging Northern California.


have evacuated,

and thousands more are left
without any power.

- I mean, there are people
watching this fire

approach their homes.

The entire city of Malibu
being evacuated.

- And that's the thing.
I mean,

this has happened so quickly.
- This is very serious stuff.

- I don't know
what the latest update.

The truth is, I was packing
and texting back and forth

with you guys
and Camille and Denise.

I don't even know
what the latest update.

- And we don't know
what it's like

right in the middle
of that smoke.

- How far does Camille live
from Denise?

Are they...
- They're close, I think.

- She's stuck in that...
- I think Denise must be closer

to the fire than Camille.

- That's really scary.
[cell phone rings]

Oh, it's Camille. How are you?
- Okay. Okay.

It's just stressful.
It's crazy.

We live in...kind of
in a canyon area,

and the next canyon over,

you can see
the flames sh**ting up.

- Sh...
- The cops came up the street

and said,
"Mandatory evacuation.

You must leave
your house now."

♪ ♪

We're bumper-to-bumper, stuck
in traffic, and to the left,

I see flames and smoke
moving down the hills

faster than
we're moving in our cars,

and we are terrified.

I'm terrified in this moment.

We have terrible
cell service right now.

Can you hear me?
both: Yeah.

- Yeah. Well, we just wanted
to make sure you're safe

and you...you know, keep us
posted, please, on anything.

- Will do.
- Be safe, Camille.

- Oh, be safe.
- Okay. Keep us posted.

- Yeah, she's cutting
in and out.

- Yeah, cutting in and out.

- My heart is breaking
for Camille.

I can't even imagine
what she's going through.

I know the group had planned
on having a talk with her,

but tragedy has a way

of putting things
into perspective.

- Should I call
Denise and see...

- Yes.
- If she's able to get out?

Let me try Denise.
Let's try, um...

[phone line trilling]

- Hello?
- Denise, how are you?

It's Lisa.
- Good.

I finally
have cell service.

- Oh, my God.
- Lisa, I've never seen

anything .....ing
like this in my life,

and we've lived here
how many years through fires?

It's .....ing insane,

and I just want
to get everyone safe...

- Yeah.
- We're still not even

out of Malibu.
- Yeah. No.

You know, just keep in touch.

We don't get on the plane
until, like, 3:30.

- Ugh. Oh, my God.
You guys, I'm gonna cry,

because I've never
experienced this ever,

and I just called my sister.

I was so upset because
the fire is literally on PCH,

and I was so scared

we were not even gonna
get out of there,

and I think our house
might be burning down.

all: No!

- Jesus.

- Next time on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills."

- Oh!
- Wow!

- Oh, my God!
- It's like "Downton Abbey"

but in France.

- I feel rich!
- Bonjour!

- Wow.
- Oh, wow.

- Oh, I love this stuff.

It really makes you feel like
you're in Europe, you know?

- Well, we are
in Europe, Dorit.

- Oh, my God. I can't believe
her house burned down.

- I feel really weird
even saying this, you know,

'cause I've never,
ever talked about this.

When I was younger,
I had my own problems.

It was like that for years.

- The fact that you did it
as Erika Jayne

was the part that made
us all like, "What?"

- What is the issue
you're having?

- There's no problem.
- Let's own our sh...,

all of us.
- Okay.

- It doesn't make me
like you any less...

- I don't care whether
you like me or not.

- To learn more about
the housewives,