05x07 - Anger Management

[bunniefuu]

Don't step on that spider!

[ Cow moos ]

[ Beeping ]

Oh, boy!

Bacon wrapped hot dogs
how I love you so!

Can't wait, can't wait,
can't wait to eat ya!

Tiger,
get a load of this guy.

"Ooh!

I'm Mr. Gus weading my wittle
bookie wookie."

Mm hmm.

Hey, Mr. Gus,
what are you reading?!

Is that a book?!
Are those words?!

Is that a paragraph?!

Ooh!
Look, a comma!

So what ya reading, Mr. Gus?
Huh, huh?

Glad you asked,
Uncle Grandpa.

It's new book I got
from the library called

"How to Manage Anger

and Find Peace of Mind."

Sounds like a mouthful

just like
my bacon wrapped hot dog.

[ Whip! ]
Huh?

That was
some super slippery bacon!

Darn it, darn it,
darn it!

My doggy dog is ruined!

It's okay, Uncle Grandpa.

It's just a hot dog.

No need to lose
your cool.

Mr. Gus, puh lease!

I'm as cool as a cucumber.

Yeah,
he cool, he cool.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a big day of kid helping
ahead of me.

Yup, I love helping kids,

'cause it's so easy
and I'm so good at it.

[ Whistle! Splat! ]

Hey, there, Sammy!

Uh, hi, Uncle Grandpa.

My skateboard's busted.
It doesn't work anymore.

Well, let your old Uncle G
have a look see.

Oh, yeah!

Looks like you have
a crack attack
in the wheel, here.

[ Creak! Pop! ]

So can you fix it?

Maybe put on
a new wheel or something?

Oh, I'm gonna do more
than just that, Sammy.

Huh?
[ Zip! ]

Check out
my thought bubble.

I'm gonna give you

some monster truck wheels
and a V 12 engine

so you can totally shred
some pavement

in this sick, mean,
dream team skate machine.

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Coughing ]

Wow!
That sounds awesome!

You bet your little tush
it is!

Let's pop this wheel off
so we can get this baby rolling

on some sweet fatties.

It only gets easier
from here.

[ Blink! ]

Darn thing!
Won't come off!

[ Blink! ]

[ Grunting ]

Come on,
you stupid wheel!

What are you doing
to my board?!

[ Grunts ]

[ Panting ]
This wheel is stuck!

Uncle Grandpa, you totally
broke my skateboard!

Thanks for nothing!

But the wheel wouldn't...

[ Cash register dings ]

Here's a brand new
skateboard, Sammy.

Knock yourself out.

Thanks, Uncle Grandpa!

[ Brakes screech ]

Hey, Tara...

heard you had
some kite troubles.

[ Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip! ]

So how can I help you?

Well, I've tried and tried,

but I can't seem to get
my kite up in the air.

Not to worry,
my sweet aeronaut.

Your favorite Uncle Grandpa
will not only

get this kite up in the air,

but also break
through the stratosphere

and help you fly this bad boy
out in deep space.

Whoa!
That would be awesome!

I know.
That's why I suggested it.

Boo ya!

The trick to kite flight

is to give it
a little running start.

Just a little
acceleration and...

Darn it!

Well, maybe it's not
windy enough!

But look at those trees
bend in the wind.

[ Wind howling ]

All right,
let's try this again...

but faster!

Uncle Grandpa, are you sure
this is gonna work?

It better or else!

[ Rock music plays on radio ]

Okay, that's it.

Time to put my foot down
on the kite flying accelerator.

[ Tires squeal ]

Now, that's what
I'm talking about!

[ Brakes screech ]

[ Poink! Poink! ]

Here you go, Tara.

What'd I tell ya?

Your old man Uncle Grandpa
didn't let you down.

Look at that baby fly!

Cool!

So when do we get
to fly it in space?

Huh?

What's happening?

Huh?!

Both: Whoa!

You stupid kite!

Won't even stay up in the air!
Uncle Grandpa, no!

[ Fabric ripping ]
Don't tear up
my favorite kite!

[ Panting ]

I hate your favorite kite.

[ Cash register dings ]

Here you go, Tara.

Brand new
top of the line kite.

Thanks, Uncle Grandpa!

Aw, man!

My pencil won't sharpen.

Gee whillikers!

[ Blam! ]
Huh?

What's wrong
with your pencil, Louis?

It won't sharpen.

"My name's Louis.

My pencil won't sharpen."

Excuse me.

But aren't you gonna
sharpen my pencil

in a cool
Uncle Grandpa style

and take me
on an adventure?

No.

[ Sharpener whirs ]

See?
I told you.

Hush it!

[ Sproing! ]

[ Growling ]

Uncle Grandpa?!

Oh, my gosh!

[ Warble! ]

[ Foosh! ]

Stupid pencil!

Good for nothing graphite!

[ Train horn toots ]

I'm sorry, Louis.
You're a crayon man now.

Got no time
for dumb pencils.

Can't catch
a break today!

[ Blam! ]

Uncle Grandpa, you okay?

Am I okay?

No, I'm not!

I've had it up to here
with the kid helping business!

Whoa, whoa, chill out,
Uncle Grandpa!

Just calm down, man.

It's gonna be okay.

Yeah, bro.

No need to blow your top
over some kids.

[ Groaning ]

We can just
talk it over

[ Echoing ]
Noooooo!

I can't take it anymore!

It's driving me mad!

You need
to seriously chill, bro.
Just calm down, for goodness sake.

[ Normal voice ]
No!

No chilling!

Enough is enough!

Woman: [ Laughs ]
That's a shame.

Huh?

Such a pity
to see jolly Uncle Grandpa

in such a bad mood.

[ Gasps ]
Both: Aunt Grandma?!

Aunt Grandma?!

What are you doing here?

I thought
they locked you up

in the Happy Hills Home
for Unsound Minds!

Oh, Aunt Grandma has
far better things to do

than be locked up
like ruining your life.

So you're the one who's been
behind my bad day.

It was a splendidly beautiful
plan, wasn't it?

The skillful art
of sabotage.

It was I who planted
these strategic hindrances
to foil your day.

The slippery bacon
on your hot dog...

the super glue
on the skate wheel...

horseshoes in the kite.

And, my favorite,

the titanium pencil
that doesn't even sharpen.

[ Laughs ]
That's just low!

Why I oughta...

Hold that angry thought.

I have another surprise
for you.

Feast your eyes on this!

[ All gasp ]

Impressive, isn't it?

Allow me to introduce
the official Supreme Judge

of the Kid's Cartoons TV Board.

He's here to judge and evaluate

what are acceptable attitudes
allowed in kid's cartoons.

His Anger Meter measures
the anger rating

of any specific character
in a show.

If the rating exceeds
the allowed limit,

he will be forced
to banish the character

with outstanding anger issues.

As you can see,
it has a full range

from "Cool"
to "Uncontrollable Rage."

And when you, old man,
get too angry,

you can say goodbye

to "The Uncle Grandpa Show"

and hello to the all new,

mom approved,

k*lling it in the ratings

for demos 6 to 11 boys
and girls,

"Aunt Grandma" series!

Now, I've seen
a lot of things in my day,

but that's a bunch
of balderdash!

If you think I'm falling
for your stupid tricks again,

you've got another thing coming,
Mama!

[ Singsong voice ]
Ah ah ah ah!

Temper, temper.

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ Groans ]

You think you're just gonna
take over my show,

you're wrong!

I don't think
she's joking, man!

[ Echoing ]
You stay out of this!

[ Normal voice ] You can't
just waltz into my show

and ruin my episode!

Yes.
Keep it coming.

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Growls ]

See?
It's working!

Keep it up,
you furious goon.

Mr. Gus,
we gotta do something

or the judge is gonna throw
the book at him!

That's it
throw the book!

This ought to do it.

Yo, Uncle Grandpa, catch!

[ Grunts ]

Huh?
What's this?

"How to Manage Anger
and Find Peace of Mind."

Oh!

I get it!

[ Creak! Pop! ]

Oh!
Brain food!

[ Chomp! ]

[ Surf music plays ]

What's going on?

[ Yawns ]

What is this?
Why aren't you angry anymore?!

Hey, I think it's working!

You go, Uncle G!
Stay cool!

How about a little of this
to incite some rage?

[ Spring! ]

Patooie!

Nice try, Granny,

but you're gonna
have to do better than that

if you want
to make me mad.

[ Growls ]

♪♪

[ Sloop! ]

Sorry.

I'm still 100%
not mad at you.

No hard feelings.

[ Screams ]

Why won't you get mad,
you simple minded slog?!

[ Alarm blares ]
Huh?

[ Kettle whistling ]

[ Growls ]

What?
No!

[ Growls ]

Wait!
You can't do this to me.

No!
This is an outrage!

I mean,
but I'm not outraged.

Looks like that eraser
is rubbing you the wrong way.

You haven't seen
the last of me.
I'll be back.

And when I return, I am going
to do horrible things to you,

like for example...

Peace.

Wow, guys.

What a crazy emotional
roller coaster of an episode.

Sorry you had to see me
at my worst.

But now I'm glad
you get to see me at my best.

Plus, we got rid
of Aunt Grandma again,

so that's another plus.

I'm really proud of you,
Uncle Grandpa.

You learned mind power
is the key

to taking those things
that anger you

and letting 'em slide
like water off a duck's butt.

Ch yeah, bro.
Way to keep your cool.

You were almost as cool

as Pizza Steve would have been
in that situation.

Thanks, guys.

I learned
a valuable lesson

that anger is real,

and there's a way
to manage it responsibly.

And that there's a creepy guy

watching everything we do
in the RV,

and we better do what he says

or else he might kick us
off our show.

[ Theme music plays ]

That was quite delicious.