05x06 - New Direction

[bunniefuu]

Wow! Is that real gold?

Okay, where would you
like me to stand?

Right here?

Uh, anywhere's fine.

All right, so, in this scene,
I want you to, uh,

you know, I don't know, just
just be happy or something.

And action!

Oh, okay happy.

I'm so happy.

Today
is the best day ever!

Cut!

What's the matter?
Why'd you say cut?

Look, this isn't working,
all right?

I'm gonna be replacing you
with Tommy.

Get in here, Tommy.
[ Whistles ]

[ Panting ]

What? You're replacing me
with a dog?!

I'm sorry, Grant,
but you are a terrible actor.

You couldn't act your way
out of a paper bag.

All right,
quiet on the set!

Lets take it
from the top.

And action!

[ Barking ]

Woe is me.

I guess I'll never be
a great actor.

Aw, Grant,
what's the matter?

Oh, hey,
Uncle Grandpa.

Alas,
I'm a terrible actor.

What?
Who told you that?

My friend Timmy.

He kicked me out
of his movie

and told me that I couldn't act
my way out of a paper bag.

Hmm. Well,
maybe you're not a bad actor.

Maybe this Timmy fella's
just a bad director.

Really?

There's only one way
to know for sure,

and that's to get you
a great director.

Lucky for you, I happen to know
the best in the world.

Wait. It's not Mr. Gus
and Pizza Steve, is it?

Uh, no,
of course not.

[ Chuckles ]
One second.

Hey, guys.

Grant wants an actual director
to be my sidekick today

so, uh, you go now.

[ Cellphone beeping ]
Hello, famous director?

Would you please meet me
in Grant's room?

Hey, Uncle Grandpa!

Wow,
Robert Rodriguez?!

You are my hero!!

Hey,
anything for you, Grant.

Don't know about him,
though.

He still owes me $20
for a meatball sandwich.

Huh, that's funny.
I don't have it on me right now.

But, Mr. Rodriguez,

how are you gonna get me
to be a better actor?

By directing you in the three

most important types
of cinema

comedy, romance,
and alien invasion.

Excuse me, sir.
Can I get you anything?

Sure, kid. How about
a couple of jelly doughnuts?

Yes, sir.

Make sure
they're jelly!

All right, Grant,
in this scene,

you're a "down on your luck" guy
and money's tight

so you just had to
take in a roommate

to help pay the bills.

Unfortunately, the only roommate
you could find is Frank,

the wacky alien space clown.

[ Laughs ]

[ Blows raspberry ]

Now, the main thing to know
about comedy acting

is to be honest
with your performance.

Got it?

Okay, so you're gonna be working
at your desk there.

Okay, and action!

Hey, Grant,
whatcha doing?

Working?
Huh?
Stop it, Frank.

Stop it.
You working?

Stop what, huh?
[ Laughs ]

If you want to be a great actor,
just be honest.

Be honest.

You listen here,
Frank!

Ever since you moved in here,

you've been
driving me up the

Whoa!

Up the wall?
[ Laughs ]

Why I oughta...

Wha! Oh! Ee! Ah!
Oof!

[ Laughing ]

And cut!
Great stuff, kid.

Wh Why thank you,
Mr. Rodriguez.

Here you go, sir.

I said jelly.
These are bear claws.

Sorry, sir.
My mistake.

What a rookie.

I'm ready for my next scene,
Mr. Rodriguez.

All right,
so in this scene,

you're on the edge of town
by the old abandoned mine shaft,

and this
giant insect monster...

[ Chattering ]
...is hot on your tracks

and has destroyed everything
you hold dear.

Now, the main thing you need to
know about monster movies

is that
you have to go big.

Got it?

Robert: And action!

[ Roars ]
Aah!

[ Timidly ]
What are you doing?

S stop it!

Come on, Grant! It's already
eaten the whole town,

and you're next
if you don't do something!

And remember,
just go big!

Go big. Okay.

[ Shrieks ]

You're really starting
to bug me!

[ Shrieks ]

Ha!

Whoa!

And cut!

Great job, Grant.

And one more
helpful acting tip

always make sure
the monster is actually dead.

Thanks,
Mr. Rodriguez.

Here you go, sir.

[ Munching ]

There's not enough jelly
in these jelly doughnuts.

Yeah, well, if you want
perfect doughnuts,

then go get them yourself,
buddy!

I like your spunk, kid.

You got guts.

Okay, so in this scene,
the Great w*r has just ended

and you're at the docks with
your one true love, Sofia.

[ Gulps ]
Now, the main thing to know
about romance movies

is that you have to
be confident.

Robert: And action!

Grant, if I don't go back to
France to marry the President,

he will stop at nothing
until he has me.

He is
a very dangerous man.

Um, I don't really know
what to say, guys.

If she leaves,
you'll never see her again!

Just be confident!

Be confident.

Okay.

[ French accent ]
Stay with me, Sofia. Please!

Oh, Grant! Yes!

[ Sigh ] No.
This isn't right.

You must go.

But why?

Shh. Go for the people
of your country.

[ Sobbing ]

Mais chaque fois que tu regarde
un coucher de soleil

souviens toi que c'est mon
couer qui Brule pour toi.

[ Sobbing ]

Now go! Go!

And never look back!

[ Crying ]

[ Crying ]

And cut!

Beautifully acted,
Grant.

Way to be confident.

Thanks for the help,
Mr. Rodriguez.

And for showing me that
with some great directing,

I too can be
a great actor.

Well said, Grant,
but you're not done just yet.

Cut!

Sorry, Grant,
but I already told you

you can't be in my movie.

Um, Uncle Grandpa,
what are we doing here?

This!

You got to act us
out of this paper bag, Grant.

I want out of here!

Just remember what
Robert Rodriguez told you!

Right.
[ Screaming ]

Hey, what you doing?
Working? [ Laughs ]

Okay, just be honest.

That's it, Franky!

You're driving me
up the wall!

Whoa! Ah! Oh!

Oof!

[ Both laugh ]

So funny!

[ Shrieking ]

[ Screaming ]

Okay, go big!

Ya!

Hya!

[ Both screaming ]

Always make sure
it's fully exterminated.

Always make sure it's dead!

[ Panting ]

[ Gulps ]
Be confident.

Chaque fois que vous regardez
le couche de soleil,

c'est mon qui Brule
pour vous.

Ah, no, no, no!
[ Crying ]

[ Both crying ]

I'm sorry I said
you couldn't act, Grant.

You did great in there.

So much range!

Will you be
back in my movie?

[ Inhales through teeth ]

I don't think
I want to act anymore.

[ Both gasp ]

I was just acting!

Of course I want to be
back in your movie.

Yay!

Nice.

♪♪

Welcome to
"Inside the Director's Mind"

with me,
Uncle Grandpa.

Today
we're extremely lucky

to have the best director
in the world,

and he's joining us here
in the RV theater

Robert Rodriguez.

Thanks for being here,
Robert.

Happy to be here,
Uncle Grandpa.

Robert Rodriguez,
when I'm bored,

I sometimes look out
the window of the RV.

Is that a movie?

In a way, yes.
And in another way, no.

See, when I look out the window
of your RV, it's a movie.

But not when you do.

Do you consider your movies
to be "loud books"

or "music with people
instead of notes"?

That's all false.

And you still owe me $20
for that meatball sandwich.

Tell me something

Does it hurt when the actors
get flattened on the screen?

Absolutely.
It hurts them a lot.

The whole time we're sh**ting,
they're in agony.

But they get paid very well,
so don't feel bad for them.

Now, I usually watch movies
in fast forward

because I think its funny
when the people move fast.

My new movie can be watched
at any speed.

Upside down?

When viewed upside down,

my movie is
a nonstop thrill ride.

I've always wondered this

who takes out
all the bad words

for the TV versions
of your movies?

We have a goblin who eats
all the bad words.

We have to give him
at least 100 bad words a week

or he'll destroy our peaceful
filmmaking village.

[ Laughs ]

How about some
audience questions?

You there
with the body of a pizza,

and also
the face of a pizza.

This is
for Mr. Rodriguez.

Where can I
get shoes like that?

These aren't shoes,
actually.

I just smeared peanut butter
over my feet.

Wow, got it.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

You! You, the dino man.
Yes, you.

Okay, so, I've directed
a couple of films myself

just little projects.

Eh, could I get one of
those special pins

they give directors?

You already have one.
Look in your shirt.

Well, I'll be!

That's amazing.

Well, this has been extremely
helpful and informative,

but it's time
to say goodbye.

Or in classic
director speak,

cut!

♪♪

That was quite delicious.