04x04 - Uncle Melvins

[bunniefuu]

I look like a slug!

[ Kaboom! ]

[ Cow moos ]

[ Rock music plays ]

You guys
want another break?

We just had a break
eight hours ago.

If we don't practice,
we'll lose the talent show.

And losing isn't fun.

Being prepared is fun.

You guys want to have fun,
right?

[ Echoing ] Right?!

You're crazy, and I'm afraid
of you, and I quit.

Please don't hurt meeee!

I want to be
a politician!

Forgive meeeee!

Dang, Lizzy.

You've really messed it up
this time.

The talent show starts in just a
few hours, and I've got no band.

Aw, heck.

[ Vehicle approaching ]

[ Crunch! ]
Uncle Grandpa: [ Laughs ]

A real Mustard Con to remember.

So much mustard.

Some might say
too much mustard.

Uncle service
at your Grandpa.

Uncle Grandpa!
Are you here to help me?

My band just quit on me,
I'm a nervous wreck,

a and the talent show
is just in a few hours.
Yeah. Uh, okay.

And I really need
a good drummer

and a really good guitarist.
Sure.

Oh!
I know just the two guys.

Wait right here.

They're the best musicians
who've ever lived.

Hoo, boy.
What a lifesaver.

[ Grunting ]

[ Bzzt! ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Tires screech ]

B B Buzz Osborne,

lead singer/guitarist
of the Melvins?!

Oh, my gosh.

Hey, great to be here...

in a cartoon.
[ Motorcycle approaching ]

What's that?
Thanks for the ride, honey.

Dale Crover?

The other half of
the hit rock group the Melvins?

Guten tag.
Oh, whoa.
This is too much.

Will you guys be in my band
and help me win the talent show?

Sure.
I don't see why not.

Anything to help out a kid.

[ Squeals ]

Oh, hey, Uncle Grandpa.

Thanks so much for getting
the Melvins to help me.

[ Farting ]
Uh...

Of course this is
what I, uh, meant to happen.

Yeah.

Wait right there.
[ Farting ]

Hey, guys.

So, uh,
the Melvins showed up,

and they're going to be
my sidekicks today, so, uh...

[ Inhales sharply ]
Yeah, uh...

you go now.

Okay, so,
I don't want to worry you,

but we have to win
this talent show,

and we only have
a few hours to practice,

so we have to get started
right away.

Here's the guitar part
for the song we're playing.

It follows common
contemporary song structure,

which will please the judges
without overwhelming them.

What do you think?
Uh...

And, Dale,
I'm not a drummer,

but I'm sure the judges
wouldn't want anything too busy.

But don't make it boring.
I was thinking something like...

kick, snare, kick, kick,
tom roll, crash.

Change to 3/4, snare roll,
crash, repeat. You know?

Yeah, this is
gonna be great.

Real good.
We can do this.

Ready, guys?
One, two, three.

Hold on a sec, Lizzy.

You're way
too high strung.
Yeah.

We need to get your mind
off winning and have some fun.

[ Sighs ]
You guys are my heroes.

All right.
Let's do it.

Let's have a tiny bit of fun
before we practice.

Can I have fun, too?
Sure.

You can be our roadie.

Yes!
What's a roadie?

It's kind of
like a caddie,

but for a rock star
instead of a golfer.

Speaking of golf, grab those
golf clubs and meet us out back.

Yes, sirs!

What's a caddie?

Fore!

[ Zing! ]

Gaah!

Still got it.

Roadie, fetch us
another golf ball.

Yes, Your Rock Star Godliness,
sir!

Give it a shot, Lizzy.

I just don't understand
how playing golf

is gonna help me win
the talent show.

Nothing helps
your bass playing skills

better than a backswing.

If you say so.

[ Zing! ]

Aah!

Hey, that was pretty fun.

Never question
the wisdom of a rock star.

Ooh. Cat.

[ Yowls ]

Great idea, Dale.

Where's that roadie?

Yes, boss?
I mean, Buzz.

We're gonna need you
to fetch us some dogs, cats,

birds,
whatever you can find.
Aye, aye.

Sometimes, to help free
our musical juices,

Dale and I give animals
fashionable haircuts.

Dale, got the buzzer?

Sure do.

[ Straining ]

Hyuck! Hyuck!

Man, Dale Crover's weird.

You don't even know
the half of it.

I gathered up
all the neighborhood pets.

So, what will it be, bub?
The usual?

[ Buzzing ]

Lookin' good.

What's up, bird?

You want some of this?

Stylin'.

Now you try, Lizzy.

Okay, but after this,
we got to start practicing.

[ Buzzing ]
He is kind of cute, though.

Remember, being in a band

isn't all about
winning talent shows.

It's about being
an eccentric rock star.

I'm a rock star!

[ Yowls ]

[ Yowling ]

♪♪

Sometimes, it's refreshing
to step away from music

and create with
a different medium of art,

such as painting.
Yeah, it is fun.

But did we have
to flood my house?
Yes.

Dale, how's yours
coming along?

Swimmingly.

Good, clean,
responsible fun.

[ Toilet flushes ]

Whee! [ Laughs ]

[ Harp plays ]

I haven't had this much fun
in so long.

Made me forget all about
that stupid talent show.

[ Gasps ] Oh, no!
The stupid talent show.

It starts in 10 minutes.
We're gonna be late.

Not to worry, little Lizzy.

Uncle Grandpa,
get the Mel van ready.

Yes, sir!

[ Tires screech ]

Dale and I
are late to all our gigs.

The fans love it.

[ Groans ]

High school talent show,
here we come.

Dale Crover is weird.

[ Tires screech ]

[ Meows ]

Boo!
Boo!

Get off the stage!
Hiss!

Aah!
Thank you, Kevin.

That was
very... interesting.

I believe we have
a musical group next

who go by the name of...
Psst!

"'What are we going
to call ourselves?'

'How about Lizzy Harrison
and the Melvins?'

"Yeah, I like that.

Uncle Grandpa,
are you writing this down?'"

Enjoy.
[ Light applause ]

[ Man coughs ]

Psst. Lizzy.

Remember,
loosen up and have fun.

We believe in you.
Hit it, Dale.

[ Rock music plays ]

Thanks, duuude.

But can you step aside
for a sec?

[ Squeals ]

♪ Help,
I've been waiting too long ♪

♪ Waiting too long ♪

♪ Help,
I've been waiting too long ♪

♪ Waiting too long ♪

♪ Help,
I've been waiting too long ♪

♪ Waiting too long ♪

♪ Get your eyes down,
keep it underground ♪

♪ Keep it
where they won't pretend ♪

♪ Let it all pretend,
let it all begin ♪

♪ Did it make you sad
to hear them? ♪

♪ Get your eyes down,
keep it underground ♪

♪ Keep it
where they won't pretend ♪

♪ Let it all pretend,
let it all begin ♪

♪ Did it make you sad
to hear them? ♪

♪ Get your eyes down,
keep it underground ♪

♪ Keep it
where they won't pretend ♪

♪ Let it all pretend,
let it all begin ♪

♪ Did it make you sad
to hear them? ♪

♪ Oh ♪

[ Music ends,
cheers and applause ]

They like us.

Congratulations,
Lizzy and the Melvins!

"You win first place"...

is what I would say
if the Melvins

were students
at this school.

But because they're not,
you're disqualified.

[ Audience groans ]

I'm sorry, Lizzy.
Are you kidding?

Today was the best.

I just played an amazing show
with the Melvins.

I was so obsessed
with winning,

I forgot why I started
playing bass to begin with.

And I owe it all to you,
Dale, and Uncle Grandpa.

Happy to help.

Then I guess
our work here is done.

Now we can finally reveal
our secret identity to you.

You guys
are reptile creatures?

Don't be fooled
by our true form.

We are
a serene, gentle race.

And now we must go back
to our peaceful planet.

[ Both roar ]

Whoa!

[ Both screech ]

Gonna be a tough act
to follow.

[ Drum solo plays ]

Whew!

Mm, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh!
Hey, there.

I'm just recording and producing
the new Melvins album.

It's a pretty big deal.

Okay, guys, take five.

It all sounds good,

but I'm
an industry pro producerman,

so I have to make it sound
even good er.

[ Zip! ]

Hmm,
hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.

What are these,
Daleford?

Uh...drums.

Oh!
College boy, eh?

Hit this drum, please,
Crover.

Wha  
[ Farting ]

[ Ting! ]

Not quite my tempo.

Tempo is actually the speed
at which music  

I'll be with you
in due course, Buzz...

if that is your real name.

Now hit it again.

[ Duck quacks ]

[ Farting ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Shh.

Lookit.
Aaahhh!

It's a good egg.

Let's see what you got,
hot shot.

Play
"Mary Had a Little Lamb."

[ "Mary Had a Little Lamb"
plays ]

[ Hoarsely ]
Something still not quite right.

[ Whistle! ]

[ Buzzing ]

What do you think?

It's a little bare.

Pbbbhhhht!

[ Screeches ]

Hold still, please,
Melvin.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Ha ha!

Man, I feel
just like The Beatles.

What's The Beatles?

♪♪

That was
quite delicious.