02x08 - Saddle Up!

[bunniefuu]

Can everybody just take in
a moment and check out

these beautiful teeth
right here?

That you begged for.

I mean, yeah, because, like,
like, when I'm up

in the big leagues in the MLB,

they got to see
this glorious face.

My jawline got to be
perfect, you know?

I really want to get in shape
before the wedding.

I've gained 18 pounds
that I cannot lose.

Find a class
that you want to do.

I'll do it with you.

[laughing]
What the...?

We're riding horse heads
on a stick.

[instructor]
Try to look upright.
Don't look at the horse.

[short whimper] --
ride the horse.

Yee-haw!

[Julie] So what's the latest
with couples counseling?

We're in therapy right now
discussing Dad.

Why are you discussing Dad?

Colin really wants
a relationship with Dad,

It has been a little bit
surprising to find out

that they have been talking

about Colin
and Allen's relationship.

We still need to have that
conversation with your father.

I think it's really important
for there to be boundaries.

You just don't want to hear,
"You should do this job."

I'm gonna make whatever
decision I'm gonna make,

and I don't care
what anybody else has to say.

And hold your dad a little bit
of what you said to me.

Yeah, where am I at
in therapy?

Uh, so...

-[Baylen] Speaking of therapy.
-Where are we at?

What do I got to do?

As we talked about in therapy,
me and Colin need to set

these boundaries for us.

But I'm terrified
that my parents will take it

as a -- [short whimper] --
rejection.

This is why
I hate confrontation,

because it feels like there's
so much -- [short whimper] --

to lose.

But seriously,
what's the deal?

-Like...
-There's no deal.

-I'm here to discuss...
-Suck a d*ck.

...setting some boundaries,

especially around my career
after the military.

I do understand the reasoning
on why they keep pushing

for a stable job
with good health care.

-Nah.
-But with that said,

I also want to be able
to choose a career

that ultimately
makes me happy

and also still be able
to provide for me

and my family.

[tense music plays]

Uh, so...

in therapy, we were talking

about stressors
and things like that in life.

And...

for the past, like,
four months,

I've been, like,
really stressed

about what am I going to do

if I get out
of the military,

knowing that, like,
whatever decision that I make

is not only affecting me,
but her,

and potentially
our future family.

So it's just, like, a lot
of weight on my shoulders.

And I know that you feel very
strongly

about, like, health care

and making sure that I have
a really good health care

program with whatever job
that I choose.

And that made it super...

difficult to try
and come to a decision

on what I wanted
to do,

because I really
have decided

to go in the direction
of real estate.

And they don't really offer
healthcare benefits.

[suspenseful music plays]

When I hear that Colin wants
to go into real estate,

my first impression is,
"Has he ever sold anything?

Are you a salesman?"

I don't think it's the most
stable in terms of income

and steady income
and things like that.

[Allen]
For Baylen and Colin,

my biggest concern
is medical insurance.

She's...

on our plan
for, uh, time being,

and that doesn't last
very long.

Baylen has
a lot of medical needs,

and we don't know if those
will dissipate anytime soon.

[Colin] There are ways that we
can still have health care

and good health care benefits,
but it's just really

where I see myself
being the happiest

and something that I can
be really successful in.

I'm just hoping
you guys can still

respect that decision.

So, that's really it.

Alright, well,
I'll give you my spiel.

My best answer is, like,
"Have a plan."

Say to yourself, "I'm gonna work
on this for this long,

"and if I don't make
what I want,

I don't know how much longer
I'm want

to work towards it,"
right?

My opinion would be,

have a set amount that you need
to make in a year.

Like, this is the minimum
I am willing

to make so that it doesn't put
too much stress

on Baylen and what she has to do
and for her health.

-Mm-hmm.
-Like, either I can feed
the kids or I can't.

It's -- it's one or the other.

Julie and I get it.

Like, we want you to be happy,
but things change

in relationships --
things change in your life,

and we want you to be
kind of prepared,

have a plan, understand
what the future can bring you.

And in case real estate
doesn't take off in a few months

or whatever their timeframe is,+

we would feel a lot more
comfortable

if they had
a solid backup plan.

Real estate
might be a struggle.

Getting calls and getting up
and showing people houses

and learning about when's
the last time the roof was done

and answering hundreds
of questions about structures

and homes and HOA fees and all.

You might be like,
"Oh, I didn't know it was

gonna be like this."

It's a long road
to that dead end.

And, by the time people realize
that it's a dead end,

they've wasted half their life,
and they're trying to go back

and they get --
they run out of time.

So all the great,
wonderful happiness dreams

of whatever,
they're in the f*cking cemetery.

Their names are written
on tombstones, so...

If this doesn't work out,
what are you gonna do?

Come up with something
that you have

as a backup plan as well.

We came here to be able
to set boundaries,

and here we are
where I'm being told

that I need
to have a backup plan

for real estate.
And trust me, I get it.

-[short whimper]
-They just want to make sure
that she's taken care of.

-Take a d*ck.
-But nothing's ever really
gonna change

if they just can't trust us
to be able

to make our own decisions.

Moving forward, like,
please, like,

if there's something
we can do --

Julie and I --
to help you, tell us.

But, when you guys go
to your therapy sessions,

focus on yourselves.
Forget about me.

[Colin]
Alright.

I think it's time to head
on back.

Yeah, we have to go get
the doggies

and check on the babies.
-Alright.

-Thanks for having us.
-You could've brought 'em.

[Baylen] I know, but then I feel
bad bringing them back.

-Whatever you need, Alright?
-Yeah, appreciate it.

-No worries, Alright?
-Yeah.

Love you.

It appeared to me,
by the end of the night,

that they were both
pretty receptive

to our thoughts...
-Yeah.

...on his career change.

But that could be different
when they get in the car

and they start bouncing ideas.

They're -- you know,
everyone's lens is different,

so maybe they just did
a good job holding it together.

I don't know.

[Colin exhales]

After that conversation
and everything, like,

how are you feeling?

Regarding, like, my dad,
it doesn't surprise me

that he said "a plan."
-It's very valid.

Like, you...

I can't be making $30,000

and be expecting us
to live off that.

-We have three dogs.
-Like, if we ever want
to start a family,

we would be paying
for health care out of pocket.

It would just be really hard.

It wouldn't...it would be very,
very difficult.

Your dad -- do I think

that I'm going to still feel
pressures from him?


I know that they...
probably don't agree

with my real estate decision.

I understand where Julie
and Allen are coming from.

I know it's not gonna
be easy,

but it's something
that I want to do.

I truly believe that this is
what is best for me and for us,

and I don't quite understand
why I need a backup plan

when I don't plan on failing.

For me, I could not go to bed
at night knowing that...

I didn't provide
the best plan forward.

Well, they have to find
a balance with chasing...

this -- this so-called happiness
that he says,

which I completely understand.

-Like, it's deeper...
-Happiness is looking in the
mirror and saying to yourself,

"I was able to have
a paycheck..."
-Yeah.

"...and work some overtime

"or I got a medical plan,

"or I have
a life insurance policy,

"so if something happens to me,

"my significant other isn't
gonna struggle with my children

in the future."

That's why I tried to explain it
in a way where

he could understand,
'cause at first,

I thought to myself...

"This probably ain't
the best decision I've heard

in the last five years."

I know for my four boys,
that would be a f*cking hard no.

-This career change is
a little bit of a gamble...
-100%

but Baylen supports it.
She supports him.

So we support him.

We really are always towing
the line between being, like,

supportive and firm,
but not overstepping.

But, for lack of better words,
it would probably be

irresponsible for him
to not have a backup plan

because things are always
gonna come at you

that you can't plan for.

So if you have some idea
of where you're gonna go next,

at least,
you know, it's something

to work with instead of nothing.

My neurologist gave me

a referral to start exposure
response prevention therapy.

Would you want to work on
your fear of horses?

Ugh...

-What is kind of like, the goal?
-d*ck.

We're gonna get to a place
where you can ride the horse.

I do not think that I'm going
to get on a horse today

because I'm petrified of horses.

More deep breaths.

[imitates neighing] --
b*tch.

[short whimper]

[upbeat music playing]

-[Baylen] You like
the pink dog carrier?
-[Colin] No.

Oh, why?

Because none of our dogs
want to stay in here.

Fluffy does.
Fluffle Puffle likes it.

But you said,
"Why are we carrying Fluff?"

-I like it --
you look good in pink.
-Yeah.

[Baylen] Thanks for taking me
out to dinner

for my birthday last night.

With all the expenses
from the wedding coming up

and us trying to save money,
me and Colin decided

that I would have my birthday
just between both of us

with a cute little dinner.

And a cute family walk
with the dogs this morning

with the Fluffle.

Pumpkin...

My little man.

I'm not ticcing much today
because the walk is so peaceful

and calming that it just
has been helping with my tics.

Do you really think
that our dogs are gonna be able

to walk up the aisle
at our wedding?

No, they'll need training.

That's something
that we're gonna have to talk

to our wedding planner about.

[squeaky bark]

[barking, growling]

I'm excited to work
with the wedding planner.

We need a lot of help.

We need a lot of direction,
is what we need.

My parents recommended
that we get a wedding planner.

We've been doing
a lot of research,

and we really liked
this person named Shannon.

We're really hoping
that the wedding planner

can help us with one --
everything.

The only thing we've gotten
done is the venue.

There's food.
There's alcohol.

There's flowers.
There's hair and makeup.

There's transportation
for our guests.

-There's...
-There's a lot, everybody.

There's a lot of things
we need to do.

We don't need to list them all.
We have a lot.

-Get a horse.
-Oh, my God.

Save a horse,
ride a cowboy, m*therf*cker.

Ride the horse --
[short whimper].

-It's so pretty.
-It's really pretty.

This walk was
a perfect way to work out.

Don't have to touch anything.

Don't have to be worried
about anybody's germs.

I do feel like working
through my fear of germs is

the only way to get
through everything, though,

because I don't want to be like
this forever.

Like, I do want to be able
to go to a gym,

and the only way
to go to a gym

is to put myself into a gym.

I've always had OCD,
but recently my OCD

has manifested itself

into having
a problem with germs,

and touching gym equipment
that's shared with other people

is just too much for me
right now.

I feel like I'm at my peak.
I'm at as much as I can take.

I kind of just think that
I'm going to get all the germs

and get sick and end up
in the hospital

or get sick and even die.

Dr. Flaherty, my neurologist,
gave me a referral

to start seeing Dr. Russell,
an ERP therapist.

It's exposure response
prevention therapy

for my obsessive compulsive --
d*ck --

for my OCD.
-Exposure therapy.

Yes -- I really want
to resolve my fear of germs.

-Mm-hmm.
-Is there anything
you can think of?

Well, I mean, if I'm going to...

want a horse in our wedding,

would you want to work
on your fear of horses?

Would you at least ask
if it's something

that you could work on?

Ugh...

I mean...
yeah.

Yeah, I can ask her.

It's something that
needs to be worked on.

-OK.
-Yippee-ki-yay, m*therf*cker!

I really appreciate Baylen
being willing to confront

her fear of horses just for me.
-[short whimper]

-I mean, that...
-I'm doing it for me, too.

I'm doing it for me, too.

I mean, I'm just saying,
that's a tough thing to do.

Like, I wouldn't be able
to work through one of my fears.

I don't want to be near
the things that I'm afraid of.

Yeah, I know, me either.
Me either.

Me either, yep.

Pumpkin wants to go
in this water so badly.

What if we just, like, give him
a little dip right now?

-Come on!
-[Colin] Oh, yeah,
he don't like it.

He knows how to swim, though!
Hey, good little man!

I know you know how to swim!

[laughing]

[soft music plays]

Penny!

Hey.

You're gonna sit in bed
with me and do something.

What?
What are you doing?

-[Julie] Hm...
-Come on.

[Julie] I just want to go over
a few things.

The venue stuff.

So I want to just be able
to start

writing some things down,

things that are helpful
for them,

'cause I think
that they're clueless.

I'm kind of clueless, too.

But I know that they need
to get the show on the road.

And I'll make sure
that the wedding coordinator

knows what she's doing.

We can't be sure that Baylen
and Colin listen

to everything, advice-wise,
that we give them,

but they did pick out
a wedding planner.

-Thankful for that,
-That -- definitely thankful
for that.

[Julie]
Right now, I'm really just
making a list of things

that I think are important
for them

to go over with her --
things that maybe they just

wouldn't think of,
so hopefully that they will

be able to use this
as a reference

when they speak with her.

-Just -- just listen.
Write "food."
-[Julie] OK, food.

-Next to food...
-OK...

Just write "Desserts."

-[Julie] OK.
-[Allen] Underneath that,
put transportation.

How many people are staying
or are traveling?

How are people getting
to your hotel?

-Are we ride-sharing?
-Who's doing the photos?

Is this gonna be random,
done by IPhone?

Oh, doggies,
yes, that's a big one.

How -- like, who's watching them
that night when...?

That's what I mean,
where are they going?

When they're trying to Christian
[christen] the marriage.

[laughs]

Bah.

-Hilarious.
-OK.

f*cking hilarious.

I mixed up the word
a little bit,

made it sound a little bit
more Christ-like.

-It's not very Christ-like to do
stuff before marriage.
-Yeah, that was...

But everyone's doing stuff...
I don't know.

-Like --
-[coughing, grumbling]

-Next...
-Moving on, next question.

I'm thinking,
like, responsibilities

of the bridesmaid and groomsmen.

Like, there's a lot
that Sammi, I think,

has to do as

the maid of honor.
-She does all the dress stuff.

And that's kind of a big deal.

I just know it's gonna be
a lot for her.

So we definitely have
to incorporate Sammi,

but...I don't know.

It's getting harder for her
to come here.

And I think I used to look
at it that it was,

like, the flying.

The flying is a small piece
of the puzzle.

She has...

-[Allen exhales]
-...honestly, crippling anxiety.

In an ideal world, Sammi
would have a whole ton to do

with the wedding planning,
because that's what

the maid of honor does.

I know Sammi would love to be
super involved,

and she is so detail-oriented.

But it's really just
not realistic.

I can't just drive down
the road and see you, you know?

So it's kind of like,
I feel bad

that I can't be
here sometimes.

With my anxiety and OCD
and traveling, I feel terrible.

Like, I just can't shut
my mind off.

Like, I know she needs us,

right?

Alright.

Her brain, I think, is exhausted
at the end of each day.

So this just adds to it.

But I know
that she wants to help Baylen.

I mean, I don't like being far
from Sammi.

I would just like to be able
to hug her...

and help her.

You're OK.

Come on.

[Julie speaking]

[Allen]
Yeah.

Anxiety and OCD seems
to be like a common thread.

I see it in Baylen and Sammi,
and we're obviously keeping

a close eye on Bechnir.

-[Allen] OK.
-Mm-hmm.

-Mm-hmm?
-Yeah.

-Good?
-Mm-hmm.

Unfortunately, right now,
it seems like we need to put

a little bit more attention
into Sammi

because her condition seems

almost a little bit stronger.

That's our job as parents,
to keep a watchful eye

on all of our kids.

She's always been the strong
one,

so she just doesn't like
to be vulnerable.

Like, let us do something
to help you.

We gotta make sure

everything's perfect
for you, too.

[soft piano plays]

Hey.

Hey.

I'm fine.

[neighing]

[Baylen groans]

I don't like horses.

They can throw you off,
they can kick you...

bite you.

Everything about them is
scary to me.

I want to back up.

I don't know if I can do this.

[upbeat music plays]

♪♪ OK ♪♪

♪♪ Oh ♪♪

♪♪ Come on ♪♪

I know one thing
and one thing only.

I've done all my homework
for this.

What was the homework
that Dr. Russell gave you?

I'm supposed to look
at horses,

watch horses.

So all I've been doing is
looking at videos,

'cause we don't really live
close to horses.

[Baylen] The first session
with Dr. Russell

went really, really well.

We kind of went off of my OCD

and built a hierarchy+

for the things
I want to work towards.

So starting with horse therapy,
we can build off of,

just to go do other things
like germ therapy

that are more complex
than horseback riding.

Tell me a little bit about how
OCD is controlling your life.

What do you feel like
are the most distressing parts

about OCD for you?

Like, I know germs,
because everything has to be

wiped down,
the dishes have to be done.

I will clean the whole house
before I even drink

water in the morning.

What ERP is gonna really
ask you to do

is to really confront
your fears.

My other half is obsessed
with horses,

and I'm deathly afraid
of horses,

but I'm like,
It's one of the fears

that can be changed.

Yeah, absolutely.

A big part of exposure therapy
is actually getting out

and doing this in public --

I think this is
the right next step.

So today,
we are meeting up

with Dr. Russell

for my first ERP session
with horses

at a horse ranch outside of DC.

My therapist says, "You have
to walk before you can run."

Me facing my fear of horses
and exposure is me walking.

It's all practice
for when I have to tackle

my bigger fears
and run with germs.

This is how I build up
my tolerance step-by-step.

I don't want to say
I'm not gonna enjoy today,

but not thrilled.
-Not thrilled?

I know you are.

These horses
are gonna be real nice.

-Mm-hmm.
-They'll want to just lick you.

I don't want to be licked, so...

-Their tongue is massive, OK?
-Yeah.

If their body's massive,
their tongue is massive,

and I don't need
that lick on me.

Well, that's just a massive
amount of love that they want

to give you.
-[retching noise]

The worst-case scenario

for how this horse
exposure therapy

could go
is that I don't follow through.

You think that's the worst?

What did you think
the worst-case scenario is?

Something traumatizes
you forever.

-OK, we don't need to...
-OK.

OK...OK, OK.

Oh, my God,
I have a pit in my stomach.

-I really do.
-[Colin laughs]

[intense music plays]

Uh-oh.

We're here.

[Baylen] I'm very anxious
as we're pulling in,

and I'm seeing horses.
We're seeing people on horses.

My heart rate is
at at least 250,

because I don't like
horses, and we're pulling up

literally, to see horses.

[groans]

[whinnying]

Hey.

-Hey.
-Hey.

[Dr. Russell laughs]

-You want a hug?
-Yes.

OK.

-Hi.
-Good to see you.

-This is Colin.
-Hi.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

So, how was the drive in?

Anxiety-driven,
but we're here.

I told Colin, I said,
"The only reason I'm here is

'cause you're here."
So we're here.

-Well, I'm here with you.
-We're here.

We're gonna get this.

As Baylen rolls up today,
I'm already noticing

she's feeling pretty anxious.

I can tell she's already
anticipating

some of the exposures
we're about to do today.

In my clinical opinion, I think
Baylen's OCD is pretty severe.

However, she seems incredibly
motivated to work on it.

She's being really brave.

We're gonna do the exposure
therapy today with the horses,

but we're gonna do
one step at a time.

It's gonna be challenging.

OK, so we're gonna start with --

we're just going to kind
of introduce you to the horses.

I know that you even --
just kind of being around them

is scary for you,
so we're just gonna kind

of look at them from a distance,

and then kind of gradually get

more comfortable
being closer to them.

And I'm gonna be checking in
with you with your SUDS.

Do you remember
the 1 through 10 SUDS?

Mm-hmm.

SUDS are subjective units
of distress scale,

and it's on
a scale of 1 to 10 --

one being really
no distress at all,

very calm, relaxed --
ten, feeling very distressed,

almost out of control.

Once you kind of,
the SUDS level comes down,

I can tell they're a little high
right now.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Then we're gonna take
the next step

and the next step
and the next step.

So what is kind of,
like, the goal?

Where could she like end up at
by the end of today?

d*ck.

We're gonna get to a place
where you can ride the horse.

-That's the goal.
-Today?

Hopefully.

I do not think that I'm going
to get on a horse today,

because I'm petrified of horses.

They are extremely muscular.
They can throw you off.

They can kick you.
They can...

bite you.

Just everything about them is
scary to me.

[Dr. Russell]
So, exposure one underway.

-Yes.
-Look at him.

-Yeah, just look at him.
-[horse neighs]

[imitates neighing]

That one's talkative.

Kind of like any animal
noise that I can mock

sets my tics off,

'cause it's just
a trigger that I can't remove.

[Dr. Russell]
How are you feeling?
Getting closer?

Hi, guy.
I want to back up.

OK...
OK, I think we'll stay here
for now.

-Is this, like,
a good distance for you?
-Yeah.

OK, what level
are you feeling?

-I want to cry.
-It's OK --

how about we take
a couple steps back?

-OK.
-OK.

It's OK.

I'm so overwhelmed.

This is moving way too fast.

This is all
we're doing right now.

Just this exposure.
OK?

I don't know if I can do this.

Deep breaths, OK?

-More deep breaths.
-[imitates neighing] -- b*tch.

[short whimper]

[tense music plays]

[horse grunts]

-What level are you feeling?
-I want to cry.

OK, it's OK.
How about we take a couple
steps back?

-OK.
-OK.

It's OK.

[Dr. Russell]
As Baylen sees the horses
for the first time,

I can see that she's feeling
a lot more distressed,

and I can tell that it's
a little too overwhelming
for her,

so we have her back up

to a spot where she can engage
with the exposure more.

OK.
What's your SUDS right now?

-What number?
-Six.

-[Dr. Russell] Six?
-Mm-hmm.

I'm, like, fine to look at them,

but not fine
to get near them.
-[Dr. Russell] It's OK.

This is where
we're at right now.

I knew she was afraid
of horses, but I didn't realize

that this is the extent
of how much she is afraid.

This might be goodbye
to a horse at the wedding.

[imitates neighing]

[Dr. Russell] Which one do
you like the best?

-I'm guessing the smaller one.
-Yeah, the one with the mohawk.

-[Dr Russell] The mohawk?
-[Baylen] Sparky?

-And this is Coco.
-Sparky and Coco.

-Aren't those cute names?
-Yeah, those are cute names.

That makes it better.

-Mm-hmm.
-That makes it better.

The names of the horses seem
to kind of soothe her a bit.

I can tell that she's feeling
a little bit more relaxed.

I think it's always surprising,
the things that seem to calm

people in exposures,
but this one makes sense.

You know, she's such
an animal lover, so...

Do you want to take
another step?

-Yeah.
-OK.

Oh, getting pretty close.
They're taking steps, too.

-Hi...hi.
-OK, I think the next step

would be to hold your hand out.

OK?

[imitates neighing]

Mm-hmm.
Scary.

But we're close enough that,
you know,

that you can start
petting them.

Despite my fear,

I'm so determined
and motivated

to get through this

and to conquer
my fear of horses.

Where does this one
like to be pet?

On his neck or on his face
right here.

-Right there?
-Yeah.

-OK, so
I think that's the...
-Oh, he thinks you have

a treat because you're sticking
your hand out.

Oh, my goodness.

-You can pet
his face right here.
-OK, you got it.

Pet him right here.

[Dr. Russell] Wow.
OK.

You got it.

You're doing
a good job, Baylen.

-Or you can pet his neck.
-[Colin] Yeah, like right here.

You want to pet right here?

[Dr. Russell] Wow.
Look at you go.

-Oh, it sheds.
-Oh, yeah.

-He does.
-[Colin] Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I like your little mohawk.

I'm very nervous.

However, I'm very proud
of myself that I'm able to touch

the horse when seconds ago,
I wasn't able to.

And I'm just making sure
that I'm not getting bit.

Are you ready
for the next step?

What is it?

[Dr. Russell]
Can she lead the horse?

-Yeah.
-How do I do that?

So you stand on the left side,
and you have your hand,

one hand right here,
and then one hand holding

the other side of the lead rope
so it doesn't drag.

Come on, Sparky.
Come on, Sparky.

[Dr. Russell]
Look at you go.

[soft whimpers]

If you want to turn him
this way,

you can just walk your body
this way...

Let's work.

-[Baylen] Oh, we're going
in the grass.
-Yes.

I am really surprised that
I'm able to lead the horse when,

short minutes ago,
I was not even able to step

forward to touch the horse.

It gives me comfort to picture
Sparky as my dog Fluff.

A real big Fluff.

Meaty Fluff.

A really,
really muscular Fluffle.

So, cleaning the hooves,
wherever you want to start.

Dr. Russell's definitely
a taskmaster

with these exposures,
and now I'm cleaning hooves.

-Hooves.
-Hooves [long "o"].

-Hooves.
-Hooves.

Hoo-hooves.
Huh-hooves.

Whoo-hoo,
whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!

[both laughing]

Eat a bag of dicks!

Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!

She's got me brushing
the horse,

and I'm also brushing myself

because it's setting
off my tics.

Look at your bum.

It feels really nice to not
have something hold me back

and to just leap over
that wall of fear.

Suck d*ck.

You're looking
pretty comfortable.

I think you're ready.

-Next step.
-Saddle up.

Saddle up.

I did not think I was gonna
make it this far today.

I am petrified to saddle up
on this horse and gallop...

right now.
-No one said you're galloping.

-You just got to get on it.
-[Baylen] Yeah.

That's even scarier.

I'm a little bit scared

because I'm petrified
of heights,

and being on top of a horse
just makes me go right to think

I'm gonna fall off the horse
and I'm gonna get hurt.

-[Dr. Russell] You got it.
-Oh, my God.

And here's the reins
if you want to grab them.

And you can hold on
to the front of the saddle

if you want to.

OK, how are you feeling?
What's your number?

Um, like a 10.

[blows raspberry]

OK, we're just gonna stay
here for a minute, OK?

OK.

And you can relax.

[sighs]

[horse neighs in distance]

[imitates neighing]

Whoo-hoo,
whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo.

Remember, Baylen,

a lot of anxiety
is anticipatory.

It gets better
once you do it, OK?
-Mm-hmm.

-Ready?
-Yeah.

Yay, Sparky!

Seeing Baylen get
on the horse right now,

it just makes me so happy
because I was going into the day

thinking that she was
not going to get on it,

was not going to ride it.

She was just gonna maybe
at most pet it.

So, seeing her on that horse,
it really made me happy.

That's a good boy, Sparky.

This is definitely
a lot better.

[Dr. Russell]
OK.

[Baylen speaking]

Whoo-hoo,
whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!

Ride the horse.

[short whimper] --
whoo-hoo,

whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo.

I feel free trotting
around the arena with the horse.

Probably for other people,
being on a horse is freeing.

That's not what was
freeing for me.

Freeing to me was like being
able to be out of my thoughts

and not being controlled
by them.

So what's your SUDS at?

Honestly, low.
Like a three or a four.

-Yeah, you got it.
-Now that you've...

got to ride on one,
you think we could ride off one

into the sunset
after our wedding?

-No.
-[laughing]

OK.

I'm definitely more
comfortable around horses,

if -- that should have been
your question.

The vision is, I would love
for me and you to ride off

into the sunset.
-Damn!

Well, you could ride it
with Fluff, Toot, and Punk.

-No.
-Colin!

No.

Thank you for being brave,
Baylen.

Thank you so much.
I can do hard things.

-[clapping]
-OK, we don't need to do --
we don't need that.

We don't need that,

but I love you.
-Love you too.

Food and dessert is, like,
very big for us.

-OK.
-Kind of like a semi-open bar.

-I want alpacas.
-Alpacas.

A horse.

We need
to manage expectations.

In thinking about your budget,

I think you're not gonna love
what I have to tell you.

♪♪ Let me see you there ♪♪

♪♪ Let me see you there ♪♪

♪♪ Let me see the show
God k*lled a star ♪♪

♪♪ Let me see that glow ♪♪

I'm excited.

Wedding planners do this
as their full-time job.

-Try and figure out like --
-What fits and what doesn't.

Yeah.

Today we are meeting
with our wedding planner,

Shannon, for the first time.

We're hoping to get a better
understanding of everything

and how far our budget will go.

I'm very thankful that my mom
put together a list

of important things that
we need to discuss

with our wedding planner.

It's a long list.

I woke up missing horses.

[neighing]

-Hello.
-Hi.

-Hi.
-[overlapping greetings]

-How are you guys?
-I'm Colin.

-Nice to meet you.
-Can I give you a hug?

-You sure can.
-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you!
-[Shannon] Oh yeah,
we're huggers.

My name is Shannon
with Shannon Wellington

Weddings and Events.
This is Chris.

We are a wedding
and event design

and planning company,

and we've been doing this
for about 15 years now.

Our goal for today is to learn
all about Baylen and Colin

and what their priorities are
for their wedding day.

Tell me more about
your experience with weddings.

I know when we
had talked briefly, Baylen,

you said you don't have a ton
of experience in being

in weddings
or going to weddings.

Nothing.

OK.
And how about you, Colin?

What's your experience?

Yeah, I've been in,
or I've been to a few,

but nowhere close
to like knowing how to plan

for a wedding.
-OK.

Eat a bag of dicks.

While we've never actually had
a bride or groom

that specifically had
a condition like Tourette,

many of our brides and grooms
have anxiety.

They have their own quirks,
so to say,

so we have to be able
to kind of roll with it.

Wedding planning can be
overwhelming and stressful,

but it should also be
really fun.

So why don't you guys tell me
about what venue you've chosen,

because you found one
that you love.

Yes.

-It's locked down?
-Yes.

Perfect.

We've already put a wedding
deposit down on our venue.

While the venue expense has
eaten up a large portion

of our wedding budget,
we still have high expectations

for the rest of the wedding,
like flowers and food

and my dress and colors.
So much fun stuff.

-[Chris] What drew you
to this venue?
-The views.

-The views?
-It's 360.

-It's...a mountain.
-It's on top
of a mountain.

-[Shannon] OK.
-It's in the middle of nowhere.

OK.
Is there, like, a hotel nearby?

It's about 20 minutes
to a hotel,

but we also need to work

into the budget
chartering buses.

-Right.
-Because they go
up and down the mountain,

and I would rather do that
than have anyone else drive.

I think the location
of the venue

that Baylen and Colin chose are
definitely going to present

some challenges
in terms of fees.

Travel fees?
-Exactly.

Travel fees.
I mean,

if there's not someone
extremely hyper-local

to the venue,
then most vendors are gonna say,

"OK, like, we'll come, sure,
but for this,

you know, additional price."

What are you looking forward
to the most?

I think flowers would be
number one.

-OK.
-Food would be number two.

-OK.
-Food and dessert

is, like, very big for us.

OK.
Anything, like, fun

that you've seen that you, like,

definitely want?
-I want alpacas.

-Alpacas.
-A horse.

You want to ride
in on a horse?

-No, he...he does.
-Oh, you want
to ride in on a horse.

As far as the alcohol goes,
we're thinking kind of like

a semi-open bar.

Have you guys ever done
a queso fountain?

A queso fountain?

I definitely want the dogs
in the wedding.

To me, that's a deal-breaker.

Like, they're gonna be
in there regardless

of if they're walking
or if they're being held.

Our dogs are not trained
at all.

This is in the hard column.

We need to manage
expectations.

So part of our job is educating
them so that we can be like,

"OK, this is what reality is."

I feel like the theme is,
like, we want a lot of food,

a lot of alcohol,
a lot of this, a lot of that.

In thinking about your budget,

I think that it's going to be
a little challenging

to get to the point where we
can have everything we want.

The moment of truth is
finally here.

What if she tells us we can't
afford our dream wedding?

I'm definitely worried that
she's bracing us for some news

we don't want to hear.

And I think
that you're not gonna love

what I have to tell y'all.

You got that baby fever
going on.

-I just want kids.
-Yeah, now.

Not now.

We get adjusted
to the new lifestyle,

then we can get into

the lab and maybe start
cooking something up.

What?

We're gonna go wedding dress
shopping this week,

but Sammi
won't physically be there.

Because of her anxiety,
Sammi could possibly not be

here to enjoy that experience
with Baylen and I.

To me, that's the connection.
It's my girls.

I'm so excited,
but I'm so nervous.

Today, I'm pretty pumped
about wedding dress shopping.

-[woman] Oh, wow!
-[Baylen] Oh, my God.

Whoo-hoo,
whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!

I hear the dragging.

-[gasp]
-Oh...

-Oh my...
-Oh...my gosh.