03x01 - The Little Mer-Tiger

[bunniefuu]

[ Up tempo music plays ]
good morning! Good morning.

Good morning.

[ Roars ]

Good morning.

Good morning!

Girl on tv:
♪ where am I now? ♪

♪ What is this thing? ♪

♪ What am I doing? ♪

This animated musical
sure has a lot problems.

Tell me about it.

Who cares? As long
as there's a happy ending.

[ Watch beeps ]

[ Roars ]

[ Growls ]

Huh?

Hey, uncle g,

Why does giant realistic
flying tiger throw a hamburger

In the ocean every night
before midnight?

Pizza steve, I'm surprised
you've waited 42 years

To ask me
that question.

Gather 'round,
and I'll tell you

The unabridged tale
of tiger's origins.

[ Snap! ]

[ Growls ]

[ Tropical music playing ]

Hey, girl!

Aren't you gonna
join the party?

Mr. Crustacious,

Why is giant realistic
mermaid tiger always so gloomy?

It's starting
to bum me out.

Pacific cod steve,

I'm surprised you've waited

It's because
cats hate water.

But she's not
an ordinary cat.

She's a mermaid tiger.

It's not like
she's some lame sea snail.

[ Sighs ]

You just don't get it.

She wishes
she was a normal tiger

A tiger with legs.

[ expl*si*n ]

[ Zap! ]

[ All gasp ]

[ Pop! ]
What did I just hear?!

Did someone say "legs"?!

I don't know,
bubble grandpa.

That's what I heard.

If there's one thing
I can't stand,

It's fish
who wish they had legs!

What's wrong
with living under the water?

Do you have a problem with
the way things are down here?

Now, which one of you pathetic
parasites wishes they had legs?

Just keep
your mouth shut.

It was him, your highness!
It was mr. Crustacious!

He said it, not me!

Well, well.

If it isn't leg loving larry
over here,

Making all these
leg wishes.

You're gonna wish you kept
your slimy little mouth shut!

[ Twinkle! ]

[ Roars ]

So you're the one
who wants legs?

[ Growls ]

Hmm.

Now, now. There's nothing
to be ashamed of.

Maybe I overreacted
a bit.

Tell you what
you want a pair of legs,

And I want, uh, uh...
A hamburger.

I can't get hamburgers
here in the ocean.

They only exist on land.

But if I give you legs,
then you can get me a hamburger.

Sound fair?

[ Roars ]

Wonderful.

Just need you to sign
this little contract first.

[ Sizzle! ]

[ Whiffle! ]

Eely bag will have that
notarized right away.

Now let's get you
some legs.

By the power
of poseidon's podiatrist,

I give thee legs!

[ Creak! ]

[ Roars ]

Now, this is
what a hamburger looks like.

And just to be
extra clear,

It needs to be in my mouth
before midnight tonight.
[ Growls ]

Otherwise,
I'll take back the legs

And turn you
into a sea snail

The scum of the ocean.

[ Sighs ]

[ Roars ]

Bubble grandpa,
where she's headed,

There isn't a hamburger place
for miles.

She can't possibly find one
before midnight.

I'll let you in
on a little secret, eely bag.

That's the whole point.

I'll teach that dumb tiger
to wish for legs.

[ Laughing evilly ]
oh! Now I get it.

[ Both laughing evilly ]

We got to warn tiger
about this.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Growls ]

[ Grunting ]

Come on!
Stop squirming!

[ Grunts ]

I wish this dumb octopus
would hold still.

Uncle grandpa, why exactly are
you trying to mount this thing?

Like I said, belly bag,
while the r. V.'S in the shop,

I'm gonna need something
for transportation.

I still think
we should explore

[ Snap! Snap! Snap! ]
Other ooh!
Options!

Yeah, I guess
you're right.

[ Squeals ]
what's the use?

[ Crash ]

I've just always wanted

Something powerful and majestic
to ride.

Uh, why is there
a tiger staring at us?

Huh?

I'll take
one of these.

Who are
we hiding from?
[ Growls ]

Also, good morning!
[ Roars ]

Can I help you?

You can start
by wearing some deodorant.

Sorry for
getting off on the wrong foot.

My name's
uncle grandpa.

And speaking of feet, nice
pair of jumpers you got on you.

[ Meows ]

So, what brings you
around fisherman's wharf?

[ Squish! ]
Hmm.

Ohhhhh!

It's a hamburger!

Mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm.

Hey,
what's the big idea?!

This is
just a picture!

[ Roars ]

Yes. Very good.
That's a watch.

According to this
tiger to english translator,

She says she needs a hamburger
before midnight,

Or she'll be turned
back into a mermaid.

Geez.
That old story again.

Well, I'd love to help you,
but, unfortunately,

I don't have any transportation
at the moment.

[ Growls ]

Wow. I've never ridden
a giant realistic tiger before.

You're a lot softer
than that slimy octopus.

Now let's find you
a burger!

[ Zing! ]

[ Whiffle! Pop! ]

You mean to tell me

This is the first time
you've ever had legs?

'Cause you sure know
how to use 'em.

[ Roars, meows ]

I know the feeling.

I remember
the first time

I got
these rainbow suspenders.

Really boosted
my confidence.

Look out
for that manhole!

[ Roars ]

Now look out
for those tires!

[ Roars ]

And those break dancers!

[ Hip hop music plays ]
[ roars ]

The roller disco!

[ Disco music plays ]
[ roars ]

The himalayas!

Uncle grandpa,
how many obstacles

Before we reach
a burger joint?

Good call, belly bag.
Let's stop here.

[ Screech! ]

[ Roars ]
[ grunts ]

Gosh, I've been
having so much fun,

I completely forgot
I have motion sickness.

Excuse me
while I go be sick.

Giant realistic
mermaid tiger,

Bubble grandpa
is setting you up!

It's true.

There's no way you're gonna find
a burger before midnight.

He just wants to turn you into
an underachieving sea slug.

[ Rumble! ]

Well, well.
What do we have here?

A couple of traitors!

It was
mr. Crustacious' idea!

Take it easy,
you treacherous trilobites.

You just made things
a little more interesting.

From here on out,

If this little mer tiger doesn't
hold up her end of the bargain,

She won't just lose
her legs.

She'll also lose
her dumb little friends.

[ Snarls ]

No, no, no.

Don't forget
you're still under contract.

And would you look
at the time


I sure am
getting hungry.

[ Growls ]

Okay, so, what are we
looking for again?

[ Growls ]

Now she has to
rescue her friends.

Kidnapped friends?!

The stakes
have never been higher!

Count me in.

Those new land legs
of yours

Probably aren't very good
in the water.

Luckily for you,
I'm an excellent swimmer.

They don't call me
"aqua grandpa" for nothing.

[ Growls ]
actually,
no one calls me that.

Well, well.

Looks like your friend
isn't gonna make it after all.

Tiger still has time.

We'll see about that.

What do you think this is,

Some animated musical
with a happy ending?

[ Laughs evilly ]

Good morning!

Tiger! You're back!
[ Roars ]

You didn't tell me this villain
was extremely handsome.

Who the squid are you?

Who am i?
I'll tell you who I am.

I'm just some random guy
who decided

To spontaneously get involved
in an adventure

With someone I just met.

That's who!

Well,
did your "friend" here

Tell you
about our little deal?

'Cause I don't see
any hamburgers around.

Hey,
that's a swell idea!

Here we go.

[ Growls ]

Welcome to uncle grandpa's
underwater soggy burger buns.

How may I
take your order?

One hamburger.
Okely dokes.

Just pull up
to the second window, please.

[ Growls ]

Here's your order,
sir.

One hamburger
just in time.

[ Growls ]

Mnh!

She made it!

In your face!

What?! No, wait!

Um, uh, actually, I specifically
said, "no onions,"

And this has onions on it,
so it doesn't count.

You lose anyway.

Hey!
That's not fair!

Now, say goodbye
to those stupid legs.

[ Growls ]
nooooo!

Uh! What the squid
is happening?

Oh, great. All that
potty training for nothing.

Don't get too used to
that provocative mermaid body,

'Cause now I'm turning you
into a boring old sea snail.

Mermaids, sea snails
make up your mind already!

[ Roars ]

He's gaining on us!
You need to swim faster!

[ Growls, snarls ]

You can't out swim me
with those land legs.

He's right!

Wait a minute.
That gives me an idea.

[ Snap! ]

[ Growls ]
here, chew on this.

[ Chomp! ]
It'll give you a boost.

[ Pbbbbbbt! ]

What the
how does that even make sense?

Doesn't matter.
You're no match for my powers.

Oh, man! I really don't want
to be a sea snail.

They're the worst!

[ Growls ]

[ Twinkle! ]

[ Shoop! ]

Oh, no!

[ Grunts ]

What the huh?

This can't be!

[ Ting! ]

[ Crying ]

Sweet, sweet karma.

Way to go, tiger!
[ Roars ]

You're a bona fide hero.

And with your new
rainbow rocket power,

You'll never have to use
those crummy legs ever again.

I could use someone like you
back on land.

Care to join me
and my team of misfits?

[ Roars ]

[ Growls ]

It's okay, tiger.

We know how much you want to be
on land with your new legs.

[ Roars ]

Really?

You'll send us hamburgers
every night

So we'll always
remember you?

I mean, I don't see
what that would symbolize,

Considering
it was bubble grandpa

That originally asked
for the hamburgers.

But sure. Why not?

If there's one thing I like
about my underwater adventures,

It's a happy ending.

Now, let's get out
of this filthy ocean!

[ Roars ]

[ Pbbbbbbt! ]

Uncle grandpa:
and there you have it

Giant realistic flying tiger's
official origin story.

I don't know if I buy it,
uncle grandpa.

That story
sounds made up.

Yeah.

If what you're saying
is true,

Then how come
you don't have a mermaid tail?

Sure I do.

You guys just never see me
with my pants off.