12x09 - The Promised Land

[bunniefuu]

I've got lots
of foraged greens.

Even if I'm not
eating protein,

I want to eat every day.

Have a look and see if there's
anything else around here.

But I know that
there's an expiration date

on being on a survival trip
and only eating plant food.

Bizarre, but I won't reject it.

No freaking way.

I see a warthog
way the F down there.

Oh, my God.

. I shot low.

I can't draw my bow
back all the way.

This might be
our last day hunting.

I admit, just from
a calorie perspective,

this shelter is overkill,

but it's something
I want to do.

.

.

They call this place
the Land of Great Thirst.

The Great Karoo Desert
in South Africa.

We are in one of the most
inhospitable places on Earth.

Ten participants.

Whoever can stay
the longest wins.

It's pretty simple.

Oh, I found the baboons.

There's ten of them,
but I only have five arrows.

This place is dry, dry, dry.

The sun's beating
down on you every day.

I'm so tired,
and I'm so thirsty.

Oh, man.

I really don't feel
safe drinking this water.

This is a place to be,
if not feared, treated

with a lot of respect.

I changed my mind!

Oh, look at the size
of that thing.

There's a big herd
of wildebeest right there.

- Rhino tracks.
- Meat.

Back on the menu, boys.

They call Cape Buffalo "the
black death" for a reason.

They'll just
straight up k*ll you.

We don't control the game.

Here we go.

Flooding.

This is nothing
compared to what's coming.

It hurts so much, man.

It's freaking ice.

So the question is,
how strong of a mind

do you need to have
to win this?

Whoo!

What the
did I get myself into?

Long, cold nights.

The last one to tap walks
out of here with 500 grand.

This is one
of the hardest things

that a person can
do in their life.

Oh, my gosh.

It's another
great day in Africa.

Good morning.

We're going to get walking,
because I'm cold.

Sad to leave
the bow here, but...

I can't pull my bow back
anymore.

It sucks, but that's reality.

Bringing the hat.

We're just going to do a loop.

Get warmed up.
Whew, brr.

First walk without the bow.

My bow is my whole world
out here in South Africa.

Fishing is not working.
I'm not catching anything.

So, without my bow, I'm going
into the starving game.

These walks really get me...

mentally going for the day.

Not being able to pull
my bow back is devastating,

but I'm trying
to stay positive.

Mentally, it just depresses me
to sit at camp all day,

so I have to do these walks.

It's calm.
Gonna be a nice day again.

There's a wildebeest
on the hill.

I hear him snorting.

But I can't sh**t any big
game, and that's what I want.

Stupid warthogs.

No way.

This is depressing.

To see wildlife
when you are starving

and can't hunt them,

it's discouraging.

Gosh darn.

My stomach hurts,
I'm so hungry.

That's all I got to say.

But I have an idea.

I'm going to go find
some bait real quick.

Let's try fishing.

Hunting is no longer
an option for me.

I know that in order to stay
out here, I have to fish,

I have to bring fish in.

Okay, we're getting some
maggots from a dead warthog

from the pit here for bait.

I'm going to try
fishing with them.

Ooh, juicy.

I'm putting them all on.

When you're out here,

it's so easy
to make excuses to go home.

Not being able
to pull your bow

is a huge reason to go home.

It's justifiable.

Okay, I got a line of maggots.

But I'm not going to go home.

I'm going to stay
here and push.

Okay.

We'll try that.

I'm going to see
how much grit I truly have

and stay out here
even without the bow.

So we'll keep on fishing.

We'll keep trying
till we can't.

Oh, my God.

The windy cold--
windy cold out there.

Far out.

It'll take another couple hours
for that to warm up,

although it may not be warming
up at all today.

It's hard to keep
it up, to be honest.

Maybe I'll take that off.

Oh.

Oh, my God, my hair...

has... issues.

My face is so dry.
Everything's so dry.

My lips feel a bit better
after getting--

I put a lot of the moisture
on it yesterday,

last night.

I could feel myself feeling
the cold for the first time.

I think 'cause I'm losing
a bit of weight,

it'll be harder
to feel warm at nighttime.

We've only really got--

everyone's just got a blanket.

And still no meat.

So that's the thing for me
that I'm sort of lacking,

you know.

I'm doing okay
on all the plant food.

But it's just boring.
It's driving me nuts.

I could probably survive
on plant food for 50 days,

but it'd be so painful.

Oh, my God.

I'm sick of eating greens
and things like that.

It feels
like every day I wake up

is like a D-Day.

"I have to get more food
today" type of feeling.

And I've woken up
with that again today.

I'm going to walk east and just
see what's on the other side

of that hill.

And hopefully there's
more resources there.

I'm not losing hope.
We'll see.

This is the week for it
to come forward and happen.

We're heading east...

To see what's--
what's down there

and hopefully get a little bit
of purchase

on maybe some fishing
or hunting.

That is a river entrance,
so it's like a fish funnel.

And I don't really know
what's over there.

I'm very,
very hopeful that there

is mussels, potentially,
because mussels

are fabulous bait.

Or even other animals
that just don't have

any idea that I'm around
that I could just ambush.

It's not a new ecology,
but it's a new space.

It's going to offer
different resources.

So I'm calling it
the promised land.

Getting over
to the promised land,

there's a real opportunity
cost to consider,

because there's genuine risk.

The physicality of it,

given that I haven't had
a lot of protein

in the last four weeks,
it's a stretch.

But I'm really
extraordinarily hopeful

that it will pay off for me.

You see that there, that chew?

That's the porcupine...

coming through here.

Good to see.

I need to go that way.

It's too dangerous going...

that way.

I really want to see what's
on the other side of that.

What's on the other side...

over here?

Oh, [bleep].

Oh, [bleep].
Ooh!

Ouch.

Got to be very--
got to be careful.

These rocks are not--

Look at that.

Whew.
They're not stable.

I'm good to keep going.

I've had worse back home.

I'm really lucky
to not have hit my head.

So I'm just being
very, very careful

when I'm stepping
to make sure that I feel

like I've got steady feet.

Navigating the terrain,
it's relatively simple

near the water,
where there's flats.

And then the minute
it starts to go up,

walking over boulders

and rocks and trying
to find trails

that animals
can move through...

Hang on.

I am finding it tougher
than I thought

to get out
to the promised land.

I'm tired.

This is just
a decision-making point.

So I've come along
all the way from there.

And I can see over here
the mouth of the river

and a little open sort of area

and that next valley...

in through there.

But to get around there

is still quite a trek.

And I don't know, man.

I don't know what
the right thing to do is.

It's a lot of energy...

and I don't want to hurt myself

going along the rocks,
you know,

just for the sake of...

getting somewhere.

I'll go no further today.

I'll try again, though.

This is nice.

I was thinking about...

Erica and our tradition
of starting every day

having coffee together.

Not necessarily talking a lot,

just sitting
and drinking and...

Enjoying being together.

First thing every morning...

usually before daylight.

Today I need to
redo that corner.

That's going to be
a delicate repair.

I can do it, though.

It's scary to attempt
rebuilding this wall,

because it's in a very fragile
state, missing that corner,

and more of this wall
can easily collapse.

So I'm going to have
to be extremely delicate

building this wall
back up and merging it

with those fractured edges.

There's probably going
to be some more loss

as I disassemble this.

I'm going to have to go...

back down pretty far.

I'm just going to
then eat into the wall

and over to the corner.

It's going to be
a little bit tricky.

This repair is going to
be harder than building

in the first place.

Time to dive
into fixing my mistake.

As I watched
this shelter collapse,

it was interesting
how many thoughts just passed

through my mind so quickly.

Like, it's over and done.

I can't recover from this.

It's going to continue
to collapse.

I will have to start over
completely.

Is it worth it?

But this isn't the first time
I've made a mistake.

And what I've learned in life

is that you can recover
from mistakes.

It's not the end of the world.

Think I just hit a critical
point in that repair.

I don't think anything else
is going to collapse.

I think I'm solid.

Whew.

That was scary.

With this, all the stone
is already here.

The fill is here.
I just have to rebuild.

Even though I'm using
more calories than I expected

doing this again...

I'm still here.

Right before I came out here,

Erica and I were discussing
the reality of the opportunity

to be on "Alone."

One of the main pros
is that this shows

our children
that we're willing

to take risks in our own life.

She's in this game with me.

She's taking care
of everything at home.

And we're separated
from each other.

We're both going
through the struggle of that.

So we're showing
our children...

it's okay to take risks.

And if they don't
all work out, that's okay.

At least you had
the courage to try

and not be too afraid to fail.

Okay, now the stonework's done.

That was a major setback.

I'll do a little bit
more stonework,

you know, matching it
to the roof line,

which isn't going to be
straight and perfect,

because there are
no straight logs here.

Well, there's one log that
I know is going to be good,

but it's really heavy.

I can't carry it here
without cutting it.

So we're going to go do that.

I'm going to go cut it
with fire.

The roof structure
is going to be a challenge.

I don't have a saw
to cut anything to length.

The lumber that I'm going
to use, it's an acacia log.

So it's very dense wood.
It's more than I can pick up.

So I'm going to have to burn
to cut it in its location.

Make it smaller
so I can carry it to the site.

So this looks like it's
going to go pretty quickly.

Once I get it to length,

I'll put the fire out,

and I'll carry it
to the shelter in the morning.

My goal today was to finish
the rock work, and it is done.

I'm just going to start
on the roof tomorrow.

And we got a little bit
started on that,

so I'm feeling pretty good.

383

This acacia burned
off okay last night.

It's a nice straight piece.

So these are part of the roof.

This log is really dense.

It's a hardwood.
It's like iron.

I don't know if I can carry it.
I might just have to drag it.

But where's Roland
when you need him, right?

As I am building this shelter,

I've had to go further and
further away to get materials.

And that's been
a big calorie expenditure.

All right, well,
the main roof supports are up.

My plan now is to start
at the back end,

cover it
with straight sticks...

and use clay
and grass... mixed

to fill that all in
and make a roof, a clay roof.

After I have the beams up,
it breaks the roof

effectively
into three sections

that are shorter spans.

And I'll be spanning
those sections with sticks--

a solid layer of sticks,
one right next to the other.

And that layer of sticks
is going to support

the weight of the grass
and clay on top of that.

Any one stick doesn't have
to be particularly strong,

because bundles of sticks
tend to be quite strong.

And so a solid layer combined
will give this roof

the strength it needs.

All right, take a break.

I am hungry.

It's terrible to feel
this way, guys, hunger.

If you ever see anybody
in need of food...

and you have five bucks,
please help them out.

We still have our maggots on.

Nothing wanted to eat them.

Shame.

And our fishing sucks.

There's no more catfish
in here.

They would have bit
on that by now.

I've tried fish guts.
I've tried maggots.

I've tried beetles.

I even had a worm
at one point,

and I can't catch anything.

It's like the fish
have just stopped biting.

Okay, well, let's go forage.

I have no energy for projects.

I can't walk
for too long either.

I'm losing strength.

I'm losing muscle,
weight, you name it.

I'm pushing my limit.

So what I just noticed
on this acacia tree,

see those green pea pods?

I can eat those.

But this has been the only tree
with green pea pods.

Everything else is already
brown and already fallen--

done for the winter.

Okay, got them.
I'm going to go eat them.

So it's literally,
like, a pea pod.

You can see that.

And they taste
like peas in the garden.

You know, so I had, like,
literally four peas.

Yeah.

I wonder what four peas does
for the body.

Probably nothing.

It's good if I could get
a ton of these.

But they're already gone.

Winter's here.

There was seven in that one.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight in this one.

Can't even get this one open.
It's so little.

Good snack,
just not enough of it.

I fantasise about food
all the time.

And that's really hard.

That's so hard to do,
to get off your mind.

And you just can't get it
off your mind.

We have at least, like,
6 1/2 hours before bed.

Still hungry, so we're
going to go try our hand

upriver a little bit.

It takes a lot of energy
to go up to the pond upriver.

It's a lot of work,

but I'm desperate
to find something to eat.

Made it.

Jeepers.

I'll try over here.

Okay.

I can't believe how much
I fantasise about food.

It blows my mind.

I could go for some pizza,
stuffed crust,

garlic knots, marinara sauce.

Mother freaking lover.

Awesome.

We walked all this way,
and it broke.

Yay.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Okay, so I'm getting
frustrated.

We're done.
We're freaking done.

We're done.

Let's go back to freaking camp.

All right, gonna try
and use clay with grass.

So I'm taking the clay from...

termite mounds.

They've already selected clay
to make their mound waterproof.

They've mixed it
with their saliva.

I'm going to add water to that,
work it.

Add some grass thatch to that
to make it...

spread better...

then I'm gonna plug
all the holes.

I'm gonna work from
the back to the front.

Give this a shot.

The clay on the termite mounds
is a combination of the clay

that the termites
have mined

out of the soil,

their saliva, and then
some organic matter mixed in.

It creates this very durable,

waterproof structure.

Wetter is better.

Goes on easier, smoother,
flattens out easier.

And those features are
exactly what I'm looking for

in the roof of my shelter.

Okay, I think
this is gonna work.

It's been so engaging
having this experience.

Sometimes I'll get wound up
about all the things to do.

When that happens at home,

my wife reminds me

that there's a lot of fun
to be had in life

just from the very,
very simple things.

And that very much reminds me
of my childhood.

That one's good and wet.
Let's fill this up nicely.

I grew up
in a very large family.

We mostly lived
in very small homes.

Shared bedrooms with multiple
brothers all the time.

And as an introvert,

I naturally wanted
time of quiet and alone.

And so the wilderness
around our home

was like an escape for me.

My personality type
needs some quiet time.

And I'm getting that out here
building this shelter

and living off the land.

Well, I'm gonna call that a day
on the shelter experiment.

I'm gonna go ahead and sleep
in there tonight.

Make a fire in the corner.

Home sweet home.

In deciding
on what the shelter would be

and how it would look,

I thought a lot
about the aesthetic.

I wanted to build
something beautiful,

because I was thinking
about Erica.

I really miss her.

I've been so busy,

I haven't spent any time
sitting since I arrived.

And I haven't really had
an opportunity

to feel homesick
or wish I was somewhere else.

Now that's all
I'm gonna be doing.

And I don't like to sit still
for very long.

I tend to fidget a lot,
always moving.

But now that I'm settled
into this place...

You know, my food supply
is really good.

I have a permanent shelter.

So what's next?

I think I'll...

just hang out by the fire
for a while and think.

And so now it's just me
and my thoughts

and feelings.

I'm curious what I might learn
about myself

as I reflect on things.

We'll see how it goes
from here.

Hey, guys,
do you want to know

how to get this nice,
skinny body like me?

You want to know my secret?

I'll tell you my secret.

If you want the weight to
just melt away,

book your spot for "Alone"
with zero food.

You'll get a very nice tan
while you lay in the sun

and starve the pounds away.

Unable to catch any fish?

Then this is the spot for you

if you want to lose
some weight.

But don't worry, we have lots
of rocks to munch on.

You can munch on some thorns.

How about some deadhead horns?

You'll look just like me.

Oh, you don't like thorns?

You'll get in shape
even faster.

This is the spa that you need
to take to lose weight.

Hurry up.

Book your spots now,
because spaces are limited.

I wish I could eat these rocks.

All right, let's go
for our little walk.

Today's my mom's birthday,

so let's see if there's
any animals for her

on her birthday.

I don't think
I can harvest food anymore.

I can't pull my bow back,

so big game
is no longer a question.

Got to take breaks...

Turtle pace, even.

If I go up, like,
two steps of an incline,

I definitely need a rest.

And I haven't seen a fish
in ten days.

There's none, absolutely none.

Tired.

Have to remember
to pick up my feet.

One foot in front of the other.

But I have to continue
to do my walks

to stay mentally strong.

even though it's tough
seeing all these animals

that I physically can't hunt.

Took a lot of energy
to get up here today.

My legs are so weak.

I feel like they just want
to give out underneath me.

I'm very lightheaded today.

It reminds me of...

A time...

I was elk hunting.

I was solo hunting
in the mountains for days.

And I was chasing
this 380 bull,

and I sat on him, and I sat
on him, and I sat on him,

and I finally called him in,
made a shot.

Missed completely
underneath him,

and I was devastated
that I made that mistake.

I was also exhausted
from hunting days and days

by myself, and...

And I was like,
I don't even know

if I can walk up this hill,
this mountain.

And my mom goes, "One foot
in front of the other, Kels.

"One foot in front
of the other.

You'll get there.
You'll get there."

And...

I just remember that today--
one foot in front of the other.

Just keep going.

One foot in front
of the other...

no matter how exhausted
you are.

It's my mom's birthday, so...

And on her birthday,
she gets a sable.

Mom, look at the sable.

That's your birthday sable.

I saved...

a tiny bit of jerky
for your birthday.

It's the size of a corn flake.

I saved it for your birthday.

That's it.

It's all I'll get today.

So I hope you're having cake...

And steak...

or a fish fry.

And you better eat
two pieces for me.

I'm gonna head back.

So, anyways,
happy birthday, Mom.

Thank you for supporting me,
and I love you.

Hope you have a great day.

And I hope you're having
ice cream and Nesquik

just for me.

My relationship
with my mom is awesome.

She's super outgoing.

My mom can meet
a friend anywhere.

I do feel like that's where
I get my confidence from.

Like, in college
or when I moved away,

I never let anything
or anybody hold me back.

My whole entire life,
if I wanted it,

I just went and got it.

Well, Mom, hope your birthday
is better than me.

I'm starving.

You know, I feel like I came
in here the underdog.

And I told them all,
I was like,

I'm gonna come out of nowhere.

I really hope I...

Do come out of nowhere.

The hardest part of this game
is the unknown.

How many people are left?

I bet you Katie's still here.

When I think about
the last two people,

me and Katie absolutely
come to mind.

Two strong women
that can endure so much--

that would be awesome to see.

I've been contemplating
writing a book...

on all my grand adventures--

charged by grizzly bears,

almost drowned kneeboarding...

Survived
a rollover car wreck...

Things like that.

Hunting, fishing,
all those crazy adventures,

you know, horse training,

the rescue, this adventure.

I'd love to put all
the crazy adventures in a book.

It's going to be called
"How to Wing It."

Nothing I do is planned.

It's wild.

And if it is planned,
plan A goes out the window,

plan B goes out the window,
and you don't have a plan C,

so you wing it,

because you can't be successful
without failure.

One day at a time.

It's how I got here.

But...

we're not done yet.

Can't give up.

I had one of those dreams
last night.

It was just me and Kelsey
who were the last two people

in the show.

Recurring dream.

I don't normally have
recurring dreams.

I'll have to unpack that one.

Do I sit by the water
and try to hunt?

Or do I walk up onto that ridge
and have a look down

and see if it's possible
to make it

to the promised land?

The reality of where I am here

is that I think for me to get
better bait and fish and hunt,

I'm gonna need to end up
over that ridge

to the promised land.

I still feel like I've been
rejected by all the animals.

I feel like they've all gone,
oh, we're getting out of here.

We're going to go round
that side of the hill

because that human lady
over there,

she just keeps
trying to k*ll us.

It's a shame.

I don't like that feeling.

And I just honestly don't know
that I've got the energy

to get myself there.

So I'm just
sort of contemplating

the reality of all of that.

I'm going to trust
whatever feels right

rather than the head.

So, to the promised land.

I feel like I've got
everything else dialled in.

I feel like I have
an amazing nest at night

that I can go into,
and I'm warm.

The plant food's
all happening.

The water's all happening.

The critical piece
is the protein.

That's the missing link.

Every day I'm waking up
and thinking,

how am I going to crack this?

What am I missing?

And it feels like
there's a push inside

to try to work that out.

Let's go across the top here.

I'm gonna go up and over there
and down.

I might find some more animals
up there sheltering.

We will see.

They're such clever animals.

Mm.

Goodness me.

Let's see if I can just see
those tracks.

I can see the kudu male

with the wiggly horns now
as well

and the stripes on his body.

They're gonna come
right in front of me, I think.

Yeah, they're coming.
I think I've got a shot here.

I'm going to take a shot.

Nothing on that one.
Damn it.

Officially out of food.

How strong of a mind do you
need to have to win this game?

I have this sort of
seeking part of me

that always wants to know,
what's really possible?

I tell myself to suck it up.

This is my adventure, and
I can do it as long as I want.

This is "Alone."
Haven't you seen it?

Anything can happen.