11x11 - Collapse

[bunniefuu]

♪ I came on "Alone," ♪

♪ And I thought
it would be easy ♪

Each day gets colder.

Each day gets darker.

The wolverine
got my fish bait.

Each day it gets harder
to frickin' keep my hand away

from that damn button.

[bleep].

Huge whitefish.

In the old box you go,
my buddy.

Oh, look at that.
Look at that.

Can't get in.

I got the best food security
I had since I come here.

Sassy got to go hunt
for herself now.

Oh, no.

They are starting to mold.

When I see the first spot
of mold on my moose jerky,

my heart just sinks.

This is the threat that says,

you may not have
a food supply.

That is a sad thought.

I'm not tapping out.

I'd rather die.

Here goes nothing.

Whoa!

Holy [bleep].

This is the harshest
location possible.

We're 125 miles
in the Arctic Circle.

Ha!

Never had an environment

make me feel like
a complete amateur before.

Everything is
against us out here.

Mother Nature went
and b*tch-slapped me.

Looks like I got grizzlies
and wolves as my neighbors.

Holy crap. They're just
hunting the shoreline.

Mother Nature is about
to dim the lights on us.

We're heading
into total darkness.

Hey, bear.

The cold and the dark

is going to sap
people's souls.

It really makes you
wonder if it's worth it.

There is no camera crew.
There's no support system.

I'm completely alone.

Yes!

People go in one way...

Stop bleeding.

And they come out
entirely different.

This is the most difficult
survival challenge

in the world.

Hoo, hoo, hoo.

$500,000, that's completely
life-changing money.

It's beautiful.

Whoever can thrive
the longest...

Out here you ought
to be afraid of me.

Whoever can push through...

Wins.

I hope I made the right
choice coming out here.

Look at that, guys.

There he is again...

pine marten
right there in the tree.

Hey, little buddy.

I was just heading out
to do some fish lines,

and this guy's sitting
right here on this tree,

just sitting here
looking at me.

He likes to growl at me.

Pine marten--
very cute, cool animals.

You're not allowed
to k*ll them,

but they're very cute and cool.

They do create a lot of racket.

Hard to sleep
through sometimes,

but it'll be worthwhile
for them to be there

if they're
getting after the mice.

So--

Whoa, whoa.

This bank is treacherous...

very slick
after this latest snow.

There's a lot of snow cover,

and snow cover
is not good for ice.

I'm hoping that
it's still safe.

You'd never believe it,
but as cold as it is,

this ice still has a bunch
of water on top of it

under the snow.

So I'm not messing around
in areas over there

because I can see open water.

And it's, like, cold.

You'd never believe it.

I've never seen anything
like it in my life--

cold but not good to ice-fish.

We can get
to these sets right here.

Let's check them.

I feel a weariness that you
just never feel in life.

No matter how hard you work
at your normal jobs,

it doesn't touch the weariness
that you start to feel...

after this many days.

There's no fish.

Hey, the bait's gone.

At least there
was some activity.

Want to go thaw out some bait
by the fire

so I can hook it better.

Let's cover this up
a little bit.

I imagine there's contestants
out there

that did a lot more economical
work than me

at the beginning...

you know, didn't put such
big logs in their shelters

and saved a lot of energy
and strength that way.

I imagine that that's the case

and they are probably
in a little better shape

than I am.

The bait's still
there on that one.

Nothing to show for it today.

I'm getting ice clumped all
in the bottom of my boots

from this open water
under the snow.

Check it out.

That's not really cool.

It's not good for ice fishing.

It's not good for walking on.
It's not good for anything.

Getting the bottoms of my
overalls all soaked and frozen.

I've got one toe on my right
foot that's super painful.

It was painful all night.

So I think there's
some frostbite on it.

So I'm going to check it.

It's nice and warm in here,

so I'm eager to look
at this toe.

Let me take a look.

It's not blackened.
It's "grayened."

I would call it more
like frostnip, not frostbite.

Good.
Good, good, good.

Let me prop my feet up
on a good piece of wood...

here by the blazing fire.

Yeah.

It's not hardly even enough
to do anything,

except it'll peel
a little bit later on.

That's not bad at all.

So we're going to warm
these guys up,

these toes right here.

Doo-la-loo-loo-loo.

It's all good.

Ooh-wee!

Oh, what a breakfast
this is going to be.

Yeah.

I showed this before,
but I just...

Look at that--
fresh grouse liver.

Right done the belly.
Look at that.

And now...

I'm going to check the hooks.

I'm pretty happy
with getting the grouse.

This land has been
so good to me.

You got to kind of coexist
with nature.

And that's what I try to do
when I'm out on the land.

And so as long as you
can coexist, you're good.

I never spoke about it much
on camera,

but I've been thinking about
this for a nice little while.

What am I going to do
on his birthday?

'Cause I've seen it
in the past

that people have
a difficult time.

Their loved ones,
their birthdays

and certain occasions--
they struggle with it.

So, you know,
I got to find a way

to make this as positive
as I can.

So...

So...

The first catch.

Okay.

Oh, [bleep].

Sorry.

I sees a fish.
I don't know what it is.

I think it's a whitefish,
but he's not in it very good.

Not in it very good at all.

Oh, my God.

Oh, [bleep].

Oh, [bleep].
I sees a fish.

Oh, my God.

I got to be careful here.

Ah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, [bleep].

I got to get--

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh-h*!

Is that a connie?

No F-ing G.
I think that's a connie.

Ah!

Holy merciful.

Oh, my God, look at that.

Oh, my God, I can't believe it.

That's like--that's
like the dream.

I'm going to enjoy this.

I'm going to love
every moment of it.

Look at that.
Isn't that beautiful?

That's a beautiful fish
right there.

The way I see it is,
I got to move in milestones.

I'm going to go to 85,

and then I'm going to go
to 95.

But I got to find a way
to get to each one.

But I don't mind
looking too far ahead

because I want to win so bad.

I'm just going to go
until they pull me.

This is the kind of stuff
I was meant to do.

And to be a part of it now,
I'm just overwhelmed with joy.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, when I embarked
on this whole adventure,

when I left,

this was like the dream--
to catch a connie.

Oh, man. Mwah.

Yes, sir.

Liver replenishes
the body well.

Whitefish liver is probably
really good for you.

And so that knowledge
I took with me as well.

And she is a cold one.

Boy.

Is this zoomed?

Holy crap, look
at those wrinkles.

That's not good.

Wish I hadn't seen that.

Zoomed right in
on my wrinkly eye.

I look like hell, man.

Oh, God.

I just didn't recognize myself
in that.

So we're going to check

the burbot stick trap.

Then we're going
to go ice fishing.

Hoping like hell
we got something out here.

A couple days ago, I was down
to the bottom of the barrel.

I was out of food.

And then, finally,
I could fish on the river.

And within an hour,
I had a 30-pound pike.

I cried a little bit
when that pike came in

because I was done.

Start with this one.

When that thing hit the ice,

the weight of the world
dropped.

And I was like, holy crap,
dude, we're back.

Boy, I think there
might be a fish on that.

Burbot alert, baby.

Yeah, dude.

Baby.

Let's check this out.

We'll be down here
fishing a lot today

'cause that's not enough food.

We need big numbers of food.

Nothing on that one.

I don't want to fall behind
again on food.

We'll get our fish processed.

I need to make sure that I get
as many fish

as I possibly can,

get them in my body,
get them frozen,

and get them stored,

because it's the only thing

that's going to keep me warm
through this.

All right, I'm out here
wearing my rally cap.

And we are going to get

our hands on a really big pike,
I think.

That's a good chunk...
right there.

I've learned
the biggest pike out here

will not touch anything
unless it's humongous bait.

This is going to get
some attention.

Okay, I'm going to watch
for that

because the food's on the line.

Go out there to that hole.

Let's just do some jigging,

see if we can get an inconnu
in the back here.

I'm just bouncing it
off the bottom.

When I feel
the weight of the fish,

I'm going to lift really hard.

I'm so excited,
thinking about that...

Big stick right there in front
of me moving,

signifying
a large fish on that.

And then I'm going to catch it
without swearing one time.

And I'm not going
to say, holy F,

holy [bleep],
mother[bleep],

any of that...

unless it comes off.

Then I'll say whatever I want.

Oh. Ooh.

Well, there's a fish
down there.

He hit it right there.

Holy crap, he just walloped it.

That's big.

.

Got him.

Holy [bleep], holy [bleep],
holy [bleep].

That's an inconnu, I think.

Got you.

Yeah!

Baby.

Yes!

That's what we needed, man.

Right there--
that's days of food.

That's two
or three days of food.

Plus, it's a greasy inconnu.
You cannot beat that.

We need as many of those
as we can get, big fat.

I hope there's more
of those down there.

We're going to eat good
tonight.

That's such a good feeling.

That brings us
from the three days of food

we had in the cache to...

over a week now.

If I had one more,
I'd feel a lot better.

Oh, yes.
Oh, yes, baby.

Ah!

Dude.

Oh, yeah, man.

Thank heavens.

Oh, what a great day.

Thank you,
Northwest Territories.

We've replenished
the coffers today--

beautiful pike, big inconnu,

and a burbot.

Oh, that's a lot.

That's a lot of meat.

We're into the heavy winter,
and I'm just grinding.

I found the pattern
that works,

found the lure that they like.

Everything is going good.

We're back.

We're back
to right where we were at.

All the things that I planned

about what I'll do
with the money

is all back into play.

I've always wanted
a campground,

and my parents have always
wanted a campground.

Being around campers

and being able to work
with my mom and my dad

and having a campground that
all my sisters can go to

and we can all hang out

and have family gatherings
and stuff--

what a dream come true
that would be,

which is totally doable, dude,
with that kind of money.

There's a good dinner.

The rest, up top.

Make it easier to go for
when we're hungry at night.

I know where the fish are at.

We just got to nail them.

And I'm going to
take home the gold.

I haven't seen
a moose in forever.

I wonder where
they all went to.

I don't know where
all the moose went to.

I thought they'd come down into
these lower lands right now,

but...

I saw them earlier, but now
they seem to be all gone.

I bet they went over to
Jake's place and he shot one.

I keep thinking about Jake.

I think he's still out here,

and I think
he's k*lled a moose.

And I think William's
out there somewhere.

Go home, guys.

Let's go.

Going to gather up
some firewood.

There we go.

I'll haul this
over to the shack.

I know my main work is done.

My shelter is built.
It's very snug.

But this weather
is not cooperating with me.

It's snowing a little bit.

I'm gonna chop more firewood
each day than I need.

And I want those cold days--

if I can't get out
or if I'm sick or injured--

I want to have
firewood sitting there.

It is too cold for me.
It is too cold for me.

I've got a big old stack
of firewood here,

a lot more
than I'm going to burn today.

Got more firewood
piled outside.

Got more firewood
piled around the back.

Got more firewood
piled under there.

So pretty much inside
for the day now.

I've got to kind of be careful
not to do too much of it

in one day and leave nothing
for the next day,

take away all sense of purpose.

But I was just sitting here
tossing around in my mind,

what will I do?

And I think I'll do--

try to do some art
on some birch bark

and dry out the ice
off these pants

that I used out there to chop.

If I put my boots and feet
right here and lean back...

That might thaw the ice
off of them right there.

So I'm trying to imagine
this art piece,

'cause I only have two good
pieces of birch bark left,

two or three.

And I can't just doodle around
on them like on scratch paper.

I've got to kind of
have it in my head

if I want to put it
on the birch bark and keep it.

I'm thinking of an art piece
to represent...

my experiences here...

Something contained
in the silhouette of a bear,

kind of fanciful, with its fur
coming out a little,

incorporate somehow
the river...

Moose antlers...

And four words--

"let there be life"...

'Cause that's
what I found here.

Ah, very hot now.

No.

I just melted my boot
pretty badly on the toe.

I just melted it pretty badly.
.

I was laying there, and I was
feeling it every so often.

Oh, my goodness,
that is so not good.

No.

I don't think it's ruined...

but it's very...

damaged on the toe
and weakened,

and it could get ruined
very easily.

I have to be very careful.

This bit's fine.

That was so close.

If I had to wear
the muck boots out here,

my first pair of boots
that I wore through the fall,

I'd get frostbite in one day.

Ain't no question.

All right.

I'm going to get out there
and test out these boots.

Can't afford to be doing
that kind of stuff.

While I'm out here, I'm going
to check a few fish lines.

I think it'll be okay
for a while.

But that's the kind
of accident

that can stop you from keeping
on living out here.

Time to chop through
the river again.

Better put my hand
through the loop.

Don't want to ever lose this ax
in the water.

Hmm.

Hey! A fish!

Yeah!

Whoopee!

Wow! Yeah!
Thank you, God!

I got a fish finally!

Yeah!

I'm happy.

This small fish is going to be
absolutely welcome

in my house.

I'll take most of the meat
back to camp and eat it.

I know that I could go longer
by just rationing it,

but I'm going to eat it.

I need it so badly.

First thing I want to do is get
the fish where it'll thaw out.

I'll place it right there
on a little board.

The smart thing is
to ration a bit,

but it's hard
to start rationing,

because I'm starting
to starve a little bit.

I'm real hungry.

Start to do
my little artwork piece.

Every night I'm dreaming
about food now.

I've dreamed about it
for a long time,

but the dreams
are getting really intense.

Now I'm, like, starting
to steal food in my dreams,

and that's different for me.

All right,
let me turn the fish.

I look up at God, and I say,

I've asked You for food,
and You've given it to me.

If I stop eating
and start to ration,

is that just a lack of faith

that there will be food there
for me tomorrow?

And I'm caught right now
in that question there.

It's a private question.
It's faith within me.

I'm dealing with that.

But I'm just working it out
each day...

trying to follow my instinct.

This is cool.

Okay.

Good morning.
Good morning. Good morning.

I tell you, another...

Maybe I'll make
a fireplace right there.

I know as the daylight
dwindle here,

the cold is going
to get more intense.

And so I want to build
a fireplace.

Up on the bank here,
there's a nice little rock.

That will reflect
heat back on me

and help me warm up
late in the evening

just before I go in the tilt
for the night.

Heat up my clothes,
make sure I'm dry,

so that when I go
in my shelter,

all the heat radiates
off my body and clothes

into the sleeping bag, keep me
warm through the night.

That's good.

Yeah.

I don't think had any snow
last night, for a change.

Usually you get
a little bit of snow.

Yep, nothing unusual,

but today just
the same old routine stuff.

But...

As it gets colder and colder,

you want to be a little more
protected all the time

from the cold
and the elements.

And so this lean-to
will keep the snow off of me,

and I'll get the heat
reflecting back

from the rocks.

I prefer to do that
than have an internal fire.

Internal fire is quite risky.

Every time you light a fire,

that dries you up
a little bit.

And so as time goes on,
it gets more dangerous

and dangerous and dangerous
for catching a fire.

We'll wire that extra good.

I built igloos, slept in 'em
with my son all night long,

and it was minus-35 outside
with windchill.

Building this lean-to
reminds me of my family.

I look at my picture
every evening

and just hope everything
is going well.

I'm sure it is,
but you never know.

Good morning, everybody.

So last night, I got woken up
two times

by something
on top of the shelter

getting
into our fish reserves.

Look at that.

It was that damn marten.

He was up here
getting himself a snack.

Got into that big boy.

I'm surprised that thing
did so much damage.

Look at this.

The thing was freaking sliding
up and down right here.

This place is relentless, man.

He was over here
digging all night,

looking around,

trying to figure out a way
to get up here.

Now, that would be
a frickin' problem.

Let me tell you what...

Big problem.

Every bit of food I have
I need, man,

to make it
to the end of this thing.

It's hard to keep safe.

No matter what you do,
no matter where you have it,

there's something
coming after that food.

This place is wild.

The only thing you can do
is frickin' hang stuff

high in the trees.

That's the only place safe,
I've found.

You can't get away from it.

Did that marten just come back?

That piece of
was just right here.

Where's my big fish at?

Oh, my God.

He's just dragging
my fish away, dude.

Oh.

You mother[bleep].

Frickin' battle.

Constant battle
trying to keep what I got.

Trying to diversify
my storage.

Can't let your guard
down out here, man.

Damn animals coming
from every angle--

wolverines, martens,
lynx, grizzly bears.

Yeah, I need
another storage bag.

At least it wasn't
a wolverine, eh?

I know we're
in the homestretch here.

I'm gonna figure out a way
to wrap that fish up in this

and hang this up.

The hard part is not knowing
when the end is.

The people that are still here
are truly something else, man.

You got to be damn tough
and damn stubborn

to still be here doing this
right now.

I don't think
it's coming in there.

I'm going to get that hanging.

That little prick was
probably inside my shelter.

I should have been more careful
to begin with.

I'll never get
another chance at this.

I'll just do exactly
what I've been doing.

Unless a big hiccup comes,
I should be able to win this.

I'm going to start
crafting some game pieces.

I need 4 dice

and 18 little figures.

The pieces are all done.

I call this game
"Trial by Fire."

Okay, here goes.

We're going to play this game.

So all these
little player dudes--

we line them all up randomly
into two groups.

They're divided
into two tribes.

Oh, my tribe.

My tribe kind of is the best.

It's kind of cool.

So I've got this guy Trevor
on my tribe,

who is annoying.

But Randy--
he's kind of trustworthy.

But this guy named Timber--
I really like him.

He's kind of cute.

You each get
to roll a number...

and that number...

will count as a vote against
the person in that number slot.

6 has a vote against him.

The player with the most votes
is number 6.

So that's the player
on the chopping block.

I'm
so devastated and disappointed

in these people.

Huh, I--

Fire represents your death.

We're going to throw you
in the fire.

No! Aah! Krrrr!

And that, ladies and gentlemen,

is how Trial By Fire is played.

All right,
time to go do stuff.

I'll try to put the gill net
out there down under the ice.

We got to stay proactive.

I don't have a lot of faith
in the gill net,

but I have to try everything.

Things weighing
on my mind are--

how much time until there's
nobody else out here?

And having no way to know,

I have to get
in my mental space

of getting down to business.

I cannot stay here
on the power of fun.

All right, the ice is finally

cleaned up a little bit.

So...

I am setting my gill net,

and it's extraordinary

to finally be using it
on day 72.

My gill net is not the best.

I don't think it's very much
the right size,

but we'll just see
what we can do with her.

Her?
We should name it.

Betty, Betty the gill net.

I have a plan that'll help me
line it up right.

One of my biggest things
that I want from this

is that this experience will
be my 40 days and 40 nights

in the desert, if you will.

Okay.

I've come to a point
where I am not sure

exactly what's next.

But if I understand
how my life has worked...

and how I've received
the most clarity of vision,

it's going to happen for me
in the wilderness.

That's where I'm living
my purest life.

All right.

And pull it through that hole.

Yes, yes, yes.

I think I'll tie it on
about here.

Phase one--success.

We got the pull string
under there.

That's good.

Now we got to hook up the net.

I've spent so much of my life
trying to marshal life's chaos

into something manageable.

And I will not do that here.

A story like this
has to be told naturally.

I have no parameters here.

I just have one thing.

I just want to see
my family living a life

where they're well.

And any life can transpire
after that,

even if it doesn't match up

with what I dreamed
I'd be doing.

And that's the truth.

This is not going to work.

Oh, well...

All right...

time for me to head to camp,

hook up the fire, boil tea,
boil water, thaw some fish,

chop some firewood,
do all that fun stuff.

And let's go.

It's the middle
of the night sometime.

My feet--

I've lost all feeling
in my right foot,

half the feeling
in my left foot.

I don't know why I've--

I guess I just don't have the
circulation left to keep them.

So I've got to
do something here

to try to get the circulation
back in my feet,

get back in my sleeping bag,

and try to get out
the rest of the night.

I've had frostbite before,

and if that's what this is,
I'm in trouble.

I don't know what's wrong
with my feet.

Even in my sleeping bag, I'm...

losing all feeling.

Feel it.

Yeah, it feels real cold
to the touch, real hard.

I can't feel my fingers
on my feet.

I don't want to go home
because of this problem.

If I can't keep them warm
inside my sleeping bag,

inside my boot liners,

I might have problems.

Last night for me
was truly miserable.

I bet I slept maybe one hour.

And it's my feet.

I just can't keep them good.

I don't think
it's a temperature problem.

I think it's my circulation
just won't go.

My legs are just like,
no, no circulation.

So I was just--

It was a pretty miserable
night, to be honest.

But I'm going to boil my tea
for breakfast

and trust I'll have a good day.

That's my plan.

Just keep it going.

I'm going to go in and
get the tea boiled.

It must be past noon, but the
sun has not yet shown itself.

All right,
let's get this going.

Let's get this plumb going.

I'm going to be proactive
and change the situation.

Whenever you're
feeling really down, cold,

like...

The elements
are just getting to you,

change the elements.

Make warmth.
Make fire.

Make water.
Make tea.

Do something.

Good. Good.

Fire is very good.

It's a tough day.

I'm not afraid
of tough days, but...

I can only push my body so far.

I'm eating each day...

but not much.

And now I just can't keep warm.

I just can't keep
the feet warm.

My body feels like it's
betraying me and breaking down.

I might have to cut off
a few toes.

That'd make me
gruesomely attractive--

some serious scars,
appendages cut off

because of frostbite,

craggy, crinkled face.

Looks better on TV than it
does from here at the moment.

You're back on your couch--

"You can do it, you can do it,
you can do it."

I'm telling myself
the same thing.

I'm not feeling the warmth.

There's a fish.
Come on up.

Oh, it's getting dark already.

This beard's a pain.

Maybe I'll trim it up
a little bit,

so if I drink water,
I don't get, like...

It doesn't get soaked,
you know?

It's hard.
I don't want to cut my lip.

Somebody right now
is looking at this, saying,

oh, please cut this part next.

It's driving 'em insane.

That helped.

You can feel the difference.

All right, you guys,
look at this door.

It's been falling apart
for days.

And I'm worried about it
breaking more

and becoming,
like, nonexistent.

For me to be going
into the coldest weather

of the year with that is sad.

I don't remember even how
the hell I built this,

but I know
that I need pine boughs.

And I could probably steal
some pine

off this roof of the shelter.

Daylight is dwindling, man.

Start with that.

With four hours of daylight,
I have very limited time

to go get fish
and get firewood.

And then it's back
into the cave.

I'm just going to load
that whole bunch of boughs,

tighten that stick back on,
and I think we're good.

At night, you got
20 freakin' hours of darkness

to sit in.

I've gone the last,
like, 30 years of my life

without being bored,
until I got here.

I'm always busy.

My ADD is always kicking.

I always got
something going on.

I've always had
undiagnosed ADHD.

Even in school, I knew it.

My attention span
is just not there.

I never could sit
through a class

unless I was extremely
interested in it,

unless it was an
art class or something.

And I get so bored
with jobs quickly.

Well, better than it was.

No matter
how stimulating it is,

if it's the same thing
day in and day out,

I'll be quitting.

Prepare for dinner--

all I got
to look forward to, really.

If my head's not in it,
I won't be able to do it.

It's just what I'll do.

Now the boredom sets in.

It's just something
I got to fight through here.

There is a clear--
absolute clear reason

why...

the harshest sentence
you can get in a prison

is solitary confinement...

because it's hard on you, man.

There's no better--
there's no worse punishment

than your own self tearing
yourself apart

for things you did wrong.

There's no worse punishment.

Strange, isn't that?

Isn't that strange?

I mean, I thought
the cold weather

was going to knock
people out, but it hasn't.

Whoever's out here
is tough as hell.

We're going to bear it
with each other until...

one of us caves.

I don't know if there's
two or three left now.

Somebody's got to cave, though.

It is not going to be me...

I don't think.

It better not.

I don't see myself caving,
but I...

don't know.

Who the hell knows?

I didn't really think
it was going to go this far.

I mean, this is a nasty place.

What was that noise?

There's a huge animal
just outside.

I don't know
what the heck it was.

Got me panicking
about my food storage.

I'm gonna string my bow.

Something could very, very
easily come and get that food.

That's what I'm worried about.

And it could be anything,
is the problem.

I don't know if it's the right
decision to go out there,

but I got to go check.

I see something
in this tree over here.

What the hell is that?

Oh, my God.

That's a freakin' marten.

off, marten.

Get out of here.

It didn't get my food
up there, thank goodness.

Trying.

That can't be what
I heard, though.

I heard something
much bigger than that.

I have till day 80's worth
of food hanging up there.

We just got to protect it.

The marten's right
back at it, dude.

There's so many nagging things
that you got to stay on top of

to make it out here
for this long.

Stay away from my food.

It just drives you wild.

There he goes.

The end could be
any one of these days.

I could get a med check
tomorrow,

and that might be it.

Go back in.

Dub Paetz might be the winner
of Season 11 "Alone."

I thought for sure by now,

this competition
would be over with

and I'd be home.

I thought it was going to be
about 60 days,

and we'd be out.

I could be it right now.

Well, I'm worried that
that marten won't leave

that food alone over there.

It's, like, right there.

It sounds so surreal to think
that one of my family members

could be nearby right now.

And...

if I get a med check
tomorrow, then I know.

I can be pretty sure
that I'm out of here.

I hope like hell, man.

I hope and I pray...

that's true.

That'd be so amazing.

Well, well, well,
happy birthday, William.

Dad loves you
to the moon and back.

Oh, my, he knows where
I wish I would be.

But I'm doing what I got to do
here, I guess.

Sorry for all this, but...

but hopefully I'll be home
relatively soon.

Yeah.

I'm gonna get up and go down
and light the fire

and have some connie.

Yep, the fire will be
a bit bigger than normal.

It is my boy's birthday.

Happy birthday, William!

I wish I was home, but I'm
going to enjoy it out here,

and I'll make it all up
to you when I get back.

Love you to the moon and back.

God bless.

This fire is for you.

Enjoy this day and...

think about you all day.

My boy's turning 12.

And here and now,
this will be the first time

I missed his birthday.

It's tough, and I know
he wished I was there.

Back home, three hours later,
it won't be much longer.

He'll be getting ready
for his birthday party.

And they're going to
have a lot of fun.

They'll have
the fire pit going.

His buddies will be over.

He'll have a blast today.
Don't worry.

On his birthday, we always
have this crowd of kids over.

And I enjoy just watching
them playing in the backyard.

There's a lot to miss.

Can't wait to get back
to see him, though.

He loves hunting and fishing
and stuff like that.

For his age,
really self-reliant.

He lights all the fires
in the fire pit himself,

and kind of like a chip
off the old block.

Wait.
Oh, there it is.

The last head, see?

My last connie head
for my boy's birthday.

Awesome.

Oh, this is going
to be such a treat.

Before I left to come here,

William was getting
a little worried.

Put that piece back in there.

Sit for a little while.

A special meal
on a special day--

birthday dinner, and my dinner
in honor of William.

Yeah.

Being out here all alone,

it's not easy for anyone
with a family.

What a treat.
What a treat.

So welcome
to my entire existence.

It's pretty much me
and the sleeping bag

trying to keep warm,

trying to burn as much time
as humanly possible.

This sucks.

I just want a normal life.

But here I am in isolation...

in the Arctic

in what's now
the middle of winter.

My life consists
of being wrapped up

in a sleeping bag
for as long as possible

just to pass time.

Sounds insane.

So...

that's that.

I feel like my family member's
on the way here

or here right now, I hope.

Yeah, I just got
a notification

a while ago that the doctor's
visiting within an hour.

So I got to get my right socks
on for the weigh-in

and just heat them up there
a little bit.

Med check should be here
any minute.

That is not good.

Healthwise, any concerns?

No, just cold, cold as hell.

Get tired easier...

each day that passes,
I guess, but...

Okay.

In through the nose,
out through the mouth.

In through the mouth--
- Oh, Jesus.

I'm throwing you off.

In through the mouth,
out through the nose.

Do you know what toe
I'm touching?

You're touching my big toe.
I can feel it.

You do feel like you're able
to manage it out here?

You're not losing sensation?
- Last night I was okay.

And in.

Exposing the rib cage to me.

There we go.
Okay.

Okay.

Man.

That hurts so bad, dude.

When they came up saying I had
a med check,

I was like, dude,
this has got to be it.

No, it isn't.

It's back to woodcutting
and freezing my a*s off...

for I don't know
how many more days now.

Oh.

I want out of here.

Oh, [bleep].

♪ Who wants to

♪ Live in the Arctic?

The cold out
there is intense.

I feel like the end of my
nose is going to get frostbite.

♪ It's not a nice
place to live ♪

Whichever way you slice it,
now we're in the endgame.

Somebody's going
to win this thing.

I know there's only one or
two people left, for sure.

Yes.

No fish.

The water level's dropped.

As time goes on, I'm getting
more skeptical in my mind.

My heart's just
frickin' pounding.

Throughout the long Arctic
darkness, the bear sleeps.

I'll never have another
chance at this kind of money.

This is
for all the marbles.