08x22 - Savor the Veal: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

-[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-Oh, wait. Oh, wait.

-Okay. Hey, Camilla!
-Huh?

-Come on, come on.
-What?

Give me a big smile, huh.

Really Mona, you wanna take
my picture?

Yeah, I'm starting a diet
tomorrow and I wanna have

something to put up
on the refrigerator door.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Where have you been? I've been
looking all over for you.

I-- I been in the bathroom

and-- and now I know why it
takes you gals so long.

-Jeez. Hey.
-Hey, Tony

You're the pride
of the old neighborhood, eh?

-East New York.
-[LAUGHS]

Hey, hey, Mona,
do me a favor. Come here.

Take a picture, me and Al
and my diploma, huh!

Ten thousand years of evolution
in one picture.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Oh, gee. I wish Darwin
could see this.

-Yeah.
-[TONY LAUGHS] Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Tony, we're all real proud
of ya.

-[SIGHS]
-How about a few words?

Oh, sure, sure, um...
Hey everybody, uh,

Um, I'm really-- I'm glad
you all came, and...

you know, this is
the proudest day of my life.

Uh, you know, took me
a long time to get here--

[CHUCKLES] Twenty years longer
than most people.

But-- but I did it.
I graduated, and...

-now I'm a teacher.
-[ALL CHEER]

Speech! Speech!

Hold on, now what do--
what do you think

I've been doing here, Al?

Nah. I meant you should
teach speech.

-Huh.
-He talks so good.

Don't you know anything?
It's he speaks so good.

Well, actually, Ernie,
it's he speaks so well.

-Huh!
-Oh.

That was worth embarrassing
me for?

Say... Oh, hey! Look who's here!
The valedictorian! Hey!

First ever from the theater
department.

Hey, hey, and let me tell you
something.

I want you to know that was
one unusual commencement speech.

Ay, I couldn't have done it
without you.

[IMITATES TONY]
And don't you forget it.

Scary part is
he graduated before me.

I am so proud of you guys,

The two most important men
in my life,

my father and my husband,
my future and my past.

The man who brought me up

and the man who'll bring me
to my grave.

Sam, later on,
don't make any toasts.

-Hey, hey, hey!
-[ALL EXCLAIM]

Everybody... everybody!
Can I have your attention?

[LOUD CHATTER]

Hello! Ex-- excuse me!

Angela, allow me.

-Pipe down!
-[CHATTERING STOPS]

-Uh, th-- thank you.
-It's all right, dear.

Um, what--

Tony, I've been, uh,
looking for a way

to express what I'm feeling
about this very important moment

in your life and I--
I finally found it.

This is for you.

This better be symbolic there,
Angela.

Oh. Oh, it is, it is.

It, um, it represents your years
as a housekeeper.

And now as you move
into this very important phase

in your life, I want you
to break it over your knee

to mark your new beginning.

Oh, that's-- that's great.
That's pretty good, Angela.

Oh, well, hey, here it goes.
Goodbye housekeeping!

-[SNAPS]
-[TONY GRUNTS]

-ANGELA: Oh!
-[ALL APPLAUD]

-And hello teaching.
-Oh, yeah!

And-- and lesson number one,

-don't ever do that.
-Oh!

-[GROANS]
-You know, Tony,

I never went to college
like you or my son.

Hey, I'm not complaining.
I did pretty good last year.

I made, like 157,000 dollars.

But I always felt like something
was missing,

something important. So, uh,
I got to hand it to you...

to do something like this
at your age,

I got a lot of respect.



And he still won't buy me
new carpeting.

Well, Tony is going to be doing
something he loves.

And you can't put a price
on that.

That's right. I'm-- I'm gonna be
out there helping kids

develop character.
To learn and to grow.

That's terrific, Tony.
Where you gonna be teaching?

Well, I-- I actually don't have
a job yet,

but I have a lot
of applications out.

And, you know, I just graduated
so it's early, it's early.

It's not that early, Tony.

I got my job at Norwalk high
six weeks ago.

Yeah, I got mine last month.

Oh, really, huh?

Sure. Tony, it is a tough market
out there.

There's not many jobs
and what is out there,

-goes like that.
-Why, I-- I know,

it's a tough market, you know,
it's just that I--

you know, I've been kinda busy
with-- with running the house

and then, you know,
planning our wedding. [LAUGHS]

And then-- and then
Hank and Sam got married

and I guess, I-- I just got
behind a little, you know.

I'm sure, you're gonna find
something, somewhere.

Yeah, you bet.

-Yeah.
-It happens.

Yeah, sure Tony, sure. Come on.

Oh gee, I-- I wish I,

you know, done some
job hunting a little earlier.

-Huh? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
-Don't worry. You'll be fine.

Oh, yeah. You're not gonna be
anything like Julia Catalano.

Who?

Girl from my neighborhood.
Uh, a teacher.

She's been looking
for work for 36 months.

That's nothing.

My cousin Freddie
is a teacher, too.

He's been out of work
for five years.

-And he's got a masters.
-[SIGHS]

Ah, five years and he's got
a masters?

Well, yeah.

ALL:
♪ For he's a jolly
Good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly
Good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly
Good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

-Thank you. Thank you.
-[ALL CHEER]

Anybody got any glue?
[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for livin' ♪

♪ Take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life
A brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

"Key punch operator,
Word processor..."

There's nothing here
for Tony.

Wait a-- wait a minute.
Here's something.

-"Teacher Wanted."
-Really?

That's great. What does it say?

"Needed immediately.
Fairfield area.

Must be athletic.

Strict disciplinarian
with a knowledge of knots."

Mother, that's the personals.

Well...

best offer he's had in weeks.
[CHUCKLES]

[GROANS]

-Hi. Hi, Tony.
-TONY: Hi, hi, hi.

Well, look who's back,
Willie Loman.

Lay off, Mona.
I just wanted to be liked.

There's no jobs out there.
Nothing. Nothing!

Well, that depends.

Can you tie a sheepshank?

Mother, please.

Fine. I have better things
to do myself.

I just wish I had anything
to do.

Hey, Dad! Any luck today?

Well I-- I didn't get hit
by a car,

but of course there's
always tomorrow.

Tony, don't be discouraged.
You're not alone.

A lot of very good people
don't have jobs.

Hey, guys, I'm home from work
with my first paycheck.

-Ah! What a feeling!
-Uh, Hank.

Having a job is like being
on top of the world.

-It makes a man feel like a man.
-Hank, dear--

It's reason to get up
in the morning and live,

knowing that I'm a vital,
productive worker.

A contributing member
to society, not some leech.

-Hank--
-It may not be much...

-Hank--
-...but at least I'm not a bum.

Dad still hasn't found a job,
yet.

I hate that hellhole.
I'm quitting.

Oh, no. Hank, Hank.
I'm happy for you, you know.

Now give your paycheck
to your wife.

HANK: Huh?

Ah, what a feeling.

Oh, hey, guys. Look, Tony,

you got a couple of letters
from schools. Open them up.

[SIGHS] Probably rejections
with postage due.

-Don't be so negative.
-Yeah, all right.

Let's see what we got here.

[SCOFFS] "Sorry, Mr. Micelli."
Why am I not surprised?

Let's see here. [SCOFFS]

"We regret to inform you,
Mr. Micelli."

Hey, I'm on a roll here.
Look at this.

Uh...

"We'd like to set up
an appointment, Mr. Micell--

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
That's good, right?

That's good, an appointment
is good, right?

Th-- they wouldn't--
they wouldn't have me come in

to tell me to take a walk.

-Who's it from, Dad?
-It's-- it's from

Stone Creek Community College.

That's only a few miles
from here.

-What's the job?
-It's doesn't say,

just says they're considering
me for a teaching position.

Oh, this is perfect.
I'll take it!

Tony, you don't know
what the job is yet--

Well and I don't care, Angela,
I don't care, I mean,

I'm not proud, I mean,
even if it's not great its--

it's a steppingstone,
you know what I mean,

I mean, I just wanna teach,
even--

even a subject's not important.
What's important is--

is lighting
the lamp of knowledge

in young, eager minds.

Look out for the truck!
Look out for the truck!

-Don't yell! I'm scared!
-Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to yell.
The most important thing

about driving is to always--

-Look out!
-[TRUCK HORNS BLARING]

-Wow! That was close.
-No way, man.

The other truck was much closer.

Well, what do you think,
Mr. Micelli?

Well, I think the closest was
when we lock bumpers

with the police car. Kelly,
Kelly, do me a favor, just--

just get off at the next
off-ramp, please.

I can't. I'm scared
of off-ramps.

Oh, great, great. Well, guys,
looks like we're headed

-for California. [CHUCKLES]
-[BOTH] Cool!

[BOTH SCREAM]

Kelly, Kelly, please, now, the--
the off-ramps are your friends.

I have no friends!

I might as well die, right now!

Kelly, no, no, no. Kelly, Kelly,
don't think like that now.

Kelly, don’t think like that.
Now, listen,

you got plenty of friends.

Jeff and Todd,
they're your friends,

-right, guys?
-[CHUCKLES] Yeah, sure.

-Kelly, we're your friends...
-[LAUGHS]

BOTH: ...not! [LAUGH]

-[CRIES]
-All right, all right

Thanks a lot guys, thanks--
Kelly, relax, relax, Kelly.

Take a deep breath and I'm gonna
talk you through this, Kelly.

[CRIES] Okay, I'm fine.
I'm all right now.

Okay, okay, Kelly now,
now the vehicle in front of us

-is slowing down. What do we do?
-[CHORTLES]

-Uh, oh.
-[TONY STUTTERS]

Well, how about, how about?
We slow down because...

-Uh, oh.
-...we're gonna hit it.

-Uh, oh.
-It's a gasoline truck!

-[ALL SCREAM]
-[HORN BLARING]

-[DOOR OPENS]
-[SHUDDERS]

You-- you're home.
I didn't hear your car pull up.

I walked home.

You walked?
Tony, it's ten miles.

I'm never getting
in a car again.

-It was that bad?
-I was stuck in a death trap.

Doing 90 miles an hour
with the cast of Wayne's World.

You poor thing.
Well, I hope you quit.

I can't quit, Angela.
It may not be perfect,

but at least it's my
foot in the door.

And anyway,
it's my best offer I've got.

Not necessarily.

Maybe it's good news.

-Is it addressed to me?
-Uh-huh.

Then it ain't good news.

Look, you read it.
I can't take another rejection.

Okay. Just wait, wait.
Wait, wait.

-How about a job offer?
-Oh, give me that!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

This ain't just a job offer,
Angela.

It's-- it's history teacher
and baseball coach, Angela.

And-- and they want me
for an interview

in Iowa on Friday.
Oh, this is great This is--

Iowa?

-Iowa?
-Yeah, Iowa. I mean...

"Wells Junior College,
Branford, Iowa."

Must be some mistake, huh?

I wonder how they got
your name.

I don't know. I don't know.

Hey, maybe-- maybe they got it
off a mailing list.

When I-- when I ordered that--
that rake and hoe set.

No, no. It says here--
it says here that my counselor

recommended me and they were
impressed with my unique

background and academic
achievements.

-That's great!
-Yeah, that's...

-Iowa.
-Yeah.

[SPEAKS ITALIAN]

I mean, that's--
that's far. That's far.

-That's out there, all right.
-[GROANS]

Aw, it's too bad. This sounds--
job sounds great.

Well, hey, at least I still got
my job as a crash dummy.

-Oh! You're still up.
-Oh!

Uh, yeah, I-- I couldn't sleep,
so I uh,

I thought I'd come down
and read a little.

-Oh, well I'm still hungry.
-Oh.

Do we have any of that
lasagna left?

Oh, sure.

So, you like it cold,
huh?

Okay, I'll get some for you.

You're reading The Encyclopedia,
Volume "I"?

[SIGHS] Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, see I was, you know

I said I couldn't sleep.
So, I came down here

and I was reading
about insomnia.

It's open to Iowa.

Uh, yeah, well.
That's-- that's what it said

under cures for insomnia,
"See Iowa."

You're still thinking
about this job.

Well, you know, maybe a little.
I mean,

that sounds-- sounds so great

and would look a lot better
on a resume

than driving instructor,
you know.

Well...

Tony, um, maybe we should
check it out.

Oh, what's the point?
Angela, you know it's--

it's 1,346 miles away.
I mean, that's a commute.

[SCOFFS]

Tony, if this could be
your dream job,

I think you at least owe it
to yourself see what it's like.

[SIGHS] I don't know. I mean,
really what is the point?

I mean, you know,
we're getting married,

and my family's here,
my friends, your business.

Don't worry about it.

We'll cross that bridge
when we come to it,

if we come to it.
You know, who knows?

You could hate it.
They could hate you.

-Thank you.
-[CHUCKLES]

The point is, you'll never know
unless you go there.

And I don't want you
to have any regrets.

You know, always wondering
"What if?"

You know, you know it's a--
I mean,

maybe I should just go out there
and see what they have to offer.

Sure, we'll make it a vacation.
We'll take the whole family.

-It'll be fun.
-Great.

-Great.
-Okay.

-So, we'll go.
-So, we'll go.

-[TONY LAUGHS] Okay. Iowa.
-[LAUGHS] Thanks.

-Night.
-Night.

Iowa?

The campus is magnificent.
The whole town is.

I don't see how anybody
couldn't love living here?

-It's like a picture postcard.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Small and flat.

Tony, Angela, what do you think
of our campus so far?

Well, it's, uh,
it's like a picture postcard.

Well, its-- it's lovely.
The whole town is lovely.

You know, I always thought
of Iowa as just cows,

and corns and pigs,

and city slickers sticking
their foot in their mouth.

What about you, Tony?
You ready to sign on?

Well, I don't know,
Dr. Graham, you know,

I've never been, the kind of guy

that marries the first girl
he dances with. [CHUCKLES]

Tell me about it.

Not now, please.

Well, normally, neither are we,

but we don't often
get former pro-ball players

with a strong academic record
like yours.

Did I mention that last year
we were the number one

junior college in Iowa,
academically?

That's-- that's interesting.

And athletically, we were
number one in the Midwest.

-Oh, that's--
-Interesting. Interesting.

In fact, here are a few
of our first-place trophies.

There's wrestling and track, uh,

football, and, of course,
baseball.

Well, you keep your trophies
in the history department?

Oh, we had to,
we ran out of room

in the hall of champions.

-That's interesting.
-Please, come in.

Oh, this is quite an office
you got here, Dr. Graham.

Oh, actually,
this would be yours.

Really? This would be mine--

Oh, well, it's...

It's not bad, I mean,
if you like burled walnut.

And, uh, take a look
at this view.

-Wow!
-Aha!

You like our stadium, huh?
Well,

finally we've impressed you
with something.

Well, yeah. I mean,
what, what, no dome?

Oh, they left it open.

-Really?
-[LAUGHS]

Oh, you city boys will fall
for anything.

Oh, you know, there was
one other thing

I wanted to show you.
I'll be right back.

TONY: Okay.

Boy, do they want you.

Sure they want me, they
probably can't find anybody else

to fill this crummy job.

Crummy job? Tony, come on.
This is terrific.

This is more terrific
than I was counting on.

Oh, what are you talking about,
Angie? Do you--

do you notice not one
gelato stand

in this whole state.
Who could be happy here?

This place is heaven!

They even have an Olympic
swimming pool.

Guess who is the
new sweetheart of Sigma Chi?

I have to admit,
this place really surprised me.

I always thought of Iowa as
nothing but cows,

-and corn and pigs.
-JONATHAN: Yeah.

Oh, Hank.

All right, all right.
I admit, I admit.

It's a nice place.
It's a nice place--

Well, I found what I was
looking for.

There. Shall I, uh,
put it on the door?

Associate professor?

Wow, I thought they'd start you
as a regular teacher.

Ah, we thought we'd sweeten
the pot a little bit.

What do you say, Tony?

[EXHALES] Well, uh...

I'm sorry, Dr. Graham.

Well...

so are we. We...

thought you were our man,

but good luck.

Oh, thank you, thank you.
And believe me

you've made the decision
very difficult.

[SIGHS]

Well, it was a fun trip, anyway.
I got pinned,

serenaded, and I saw
a two-headed heifer.

Come on, g*ng. Let's go.

Come on. Come on.

-Tony?
-Yeah?

Uh, are you sure this is
what you wanna do?

-Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure--
-I mean,

really, I-- I don't want you
to have any regrets.

Angela,

I'd regret it a lot more,
if I took this job and it

messed up what we have.
I'm sure.

Come on.

FEMALE PA: This is the
final boarding call

for flight 485.

SAM: That's us! That's us!
We're late!

-Come on.
-All right. Okay, okay.

You know, who knew Dubuque
would have a rush hour?

-[SECURITY ALARM BEEPS]
-Step back, please.

Oh, yeah, sure.

-I, uh--
-[ALARMS BEEPS]

Must be my keys. Here we go.

-[ALARM BEEPS]
-Step back again, please.

-Uh, yeah, sure.
-[ALARM BEEPS]

Okay, you made your point.

Tony, what's the problem?

I don't know. Maybe I got
too much iron in my blood.

-[ALARM BEEPS]
-Oh, come on.

This is ridiculous. You know,
we're on a way to New York.

We may not be the big city, sir.
But we do the best we can.

-That's--
-Freeze! Spread 'em!

Oh, what are you doing?
Wait a minute--

I've got something here.
Feels like a knife.

No. It's-- it's not a knife.
It's not a knife.

He's right. It's a nameplate.

Wow! You're an associate
professor?

No, actually,
I-- I turned it down.

You're kidding.

Why would you do
a stupid thing like that?

Could I have that, please?

Keep the change. Come on.

So, what was it, the metal plate
in your head?

You're gonna go.
You're gonna go.

Okay, I'm going. I'm going.

Tony, wait. Wait.
We have to talk.

We'll-- we'll talk on the plane,
Angela.

No, Tony. This-- this
is important.

I've been thinking
about it all day.

And the fact that you kept
the nameplate tells me

I'm making the right decision.

Wh-- what decision?

Please, we're going to have
to close the door.

Just one moment, please.

Tony, I want you
to call Dr. Graham

and tell him you'll take
the job.

Why? Why? Because I kept
a silly souvenir?

No. Because it's the right thing
to do and we both know it.

Last call for flight 485.

I know you're worried
about us being separated,

but you don't have to,
we can make it work.

How-- how can we make it work,
Angela?

You have a business to run,
you remember, your business.

I-- I know, but I can take
time off and I'll rearrange

my schedule and I'm willing
to commute.

Angela, you'd do that for me?

Yes.

But even-- even if you could,
I mean, what about the family?

Hey, you guys need me, right?

-No.
-Not me.

I don't.

Like that heifer needed
two heads.

There's a lot of love
in this terminal.

No, Dad, what we're trying
to say is

we'll miss you,
but we'll be okay.

I mean, hey, I'm married now.

And I'm going away to college
next year.

Besides, you're 40 years old.
It's time for you to leave home.

Would you all kindly board
the plane?

Dad, what we're trying
to say is...

if you want that job, take it.

Oh, gee, Angela, I--
I don't know what to do.

Here's an idea.
Get on the plane!

Just a moment, please.

Tony, call him before he gives
the job to someone else.

-Uh, I--
-If you don't get on this plane,

-right now--
-You'll what?

-I--
-You just take your little self

and put it right over there
and zip it!

Forgive her. Forgive her. she--

she just found out
the in-flight movie

was Return to the Blue Lagoon.

Angela, Angela, what about us?
We're getting married.

-What about the wedding?
-We'll still have it.

Many people have
long-distance relationships.

And besides Tony,
it's only temporary.

See with this on your resume,
you can get a job anywhere.

I can't, Angela.
I have responsibilities--

Listen to me.

From the day you walked
into my house,

you've been sacrificing
for other people.

-I mean--
-I mean, I mean, you came there

in the first place to build
a better life for Sam.

And, when I wanted to build
my business,

you were there for me.

For all these years, you've been
putting your life on hold

for other people,
for other people's dreams.

And now it's your turn.

Please.

Tony, let me do
something for you.

Associate professor sounds--
sounds pretty good, huh?

Sounds great.

Okay, I'm-- I'm gonna call
Dr. Graham. I'm gonna take it.

-You are!
-I'll take the job. Okay, okay.

Okay. Uh, wait, wait a minute.
Um, open the plane--

Is there a phone on the plane,
Miss?

-Yes, sir.
-Oh, great then I'll call

-from the air.
-No, sir.

-Wh-- why not?
-It left.

Why didn't you say something?

Because I hate you.

Oh.

So much for the friendly skies.
[LAUGHS]

We’re- we're in Iowa. What--
what you wanna do?

Well, hey, how about we get
a picnic basket,

bottle of wine,

we go watch a sunset
over a corn field.

-Sounds wonderful.
-Huh.

City girls, works every time.

Bada-boom. [LAUGHS]

Come on. Come on.

TONY: Stick around for scenes
from the next Who's the Boss.

First you leave Brooklyn,

then the entire
eastern seaboard.

Aww, it's all right,
Mrs. Rossini.

Hey, I'm just going out there
to teach for a year.

Well, you still need these.

-A gallon of olive oil...
-Okay.

-...and this.
-Well, wh-- what's this?

Name of the other Italian
in Iowa.

Our first weekend together,

and I'm buried in tapes
and books.

Stop it.

I will not have you felling
guilty for ignoring

and neglecting me.

When he walks through that door,
he's all mine.

-Tony!
-Don't kiss me, I'm gonna vomit.

Last weekend was supposed
to be our weekend,

but when you got me sick,
we had to change our schedule

and so I fell behind.

Hello! Could somebody please
pick up this phone?

Ooh, this is going to be fun.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]