07x02 - Hey Dude!

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for living ♪

♪ Take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times
I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you
My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand new life
A brand new life ♪

♪ A brand new life
Around the bend ♪

Ah, let's see. Oh, look,
"Elsburg is teaching

the affective industrialization
on the American novel."

[TONY CLEARS THROAT]

-[CHUCKLES]
-Uh...

Or, uh, or we could take, uh,
He-- Hemingway, uh,

a social icon
with, uh, Professor Tewkesbury.

-He's good.
-[SIGHS]

-Or, uh, or we could, uh--
-Stay home

and rewrite the Kama Sutra.

That would be in Asian studies.

-Tony...
-Oh, Kathleen,

I-- I just can't handle
being so, uh, Asian

in Angela's house.

Tony, Angela's out with Peter,
Sam's working in New Mexico,

and Mona does worse than this
on the train to work.

-[DOOR CLOSES]
-[FOOTSTEPS THUMPING]

ANGELA: Oh! [LAUGHING]

Boy, am I glad to be home!
What a fun day!

Bye-bye, Peter!

-Hi!
-Hi.

-[ANGELA CHUCKLING]
-Hi, we weren't doing anything.

Well, I am not here.
So, you two go on

with whatever you weren't doing.
[CHUCKLES]

-[TONY CHUCKLING]
-Actually, I have to

-get to work.
-Oh, so soon. Oh.

-[SIGHS] I'll call you tonight.
-Okay. Okay.

[TONY SIGHS]

-Good day, Kathaleen.
-Good day, Tony.

[TONY CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS] Nice gal.

-[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
-Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

-Postcard from Sam.
-Oh!

[CHUCKLES]
Oh, Jackrabbit driving a Buick.

-Aw.
-Aw. [CHUCKLES] Let me see that.

"Love you. Miss you.
Wish you were here."

There's more writing
on the stamp.

[SCOFFS] Two months ago,
we got these long letters,

-now this.
-Yeah. Well, you know,

Summer job. It's her--
it's her time to be independent.

You know, to spread your wings,
to get away from your parents.

-Let's call her.
-I'll pick up in the kitchen.

[PHONE RINGING]

Activities desk.

TONY: Hello, sweetheart.

ANGELA: Hi, honey. I'm here too.

-Oh, hi, guys.
-Well, hi-- hi, Sam.

Just-- just called
to see how you were.

Oh, fine. Love you. Miss you.
Wish you were here.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
We, kind of, got that message.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
Sam, guess what?

Guess what? I found
a whole bunch of new courses

for you in the catalogue.
Uh, when you coming home?

[STAMMERS] Uh-- uh, hello, Sam?

[STAMMERS] Uh, actually, Dad,
I-- I was, kind--

I was, kind of,
thinking of maybe staying

a little bit longer.

Little longer?
Well-- Hey, you-- you're

gonna miss registration.
[CHUCKLES]

Hello, Sam!

Uh, you see, Dad,

they really love me here,
and I got a promotion,

and I was just thinking
that maybe... [INHALES DEEPLY]

-...college could wait.
-Wait?

Wait?

Dad, I really love New Mexico.

And the other day,
I was sitting on the porch,

and I looked up,
and I just started to cry.

Aw. You-- you missed
your father, huh? [LAUGHS]

No, Dad, I was crying
because everything

was so beautiful, I mean,
the way the sun was setting

behind the butte,
and-- and there was this eagle,

and he was slowly circling
in the sky.

It was a vulture.
You were dinner.

Look, Dad,
I can't talk right now, okay,

um, I'll explain
everything tomorrow.

-And don't worry. I love you.
-[STAMMERS] Sam-- Sam, w-- wait.

Hmm. Well... [CHUCKLES]

...well,
I-- I'm not gonna worry.

I mean, what? Me? Worry?
[CHUCKLES]

You know
why I am not gonna worry?

'Cause I'm going to New Mexico
and talk some senses into her.

Great. We'll be right away.
I'll call the travel agent.

Right. I'll pack.
You-- you need your linen suit?

Yeah, and, uh, don't forget
my sunscreen.

-You know how I freckle.
-Okay, go.

ANGELA: Okay.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Uh, that is,
if you want me to go. [CHUCKLES]

Well, I-- I want you to go,
but only if you want to go.

-[CHUCKLES]
-[CHUCKLES] I want to go,

but only if you really
want me to go.

[CHUCKLES]
Well, uh, why don't we just

talk about this on the plane?
[CHUCKLES]

-Oh, okay!
-Plane?

Plane?

-Where?
-Uh... New Mexico.

Oh, well, let me see.
I'll need my bikini,

and, uh, my spurs.

Okay, good work today, everyone.
Now don't blow it all at dinner.

Okay,
tomorrow's aerobics class...

-[MAN PANTS]
-...has been moved to 4:30.

What time is the stretch class?

-Uh, 5:30. Any other questions?
-Yes?

Why aren't you going to college?

Dad. Angela.

I just let go of his mouth
for a second. [CHUCKLES]

That's it for today, everybody.

You know, you-- you really
should go to college.

Listen to her.

-Thank you, Mrs. Albrecht.
-Thank you, Mrs. Albrecht.

What are you doing here?

You said we could talk tomorrow.

Today's tomorrow. We're here.
Let's talk.

You didn't come here to talk.
You came here to take me home.

-[TONY SIGHS]
-We came here to talk

about taking you home.

Sam, this is just a--
a summer job.

It's not worth throwing away
your college education for.

Dad, you don't understand.
There are other factors.

-Oh, factors!
-Excuse me, sir,

you left your room key
at the front desk.

Oh, oh, thank you very much.
[CHUCKLES]

Hi.

Uh, Sam, it's okay.
I already thanked him.

Tony, Tony, I think we just met
the other factor.

Uh, Matt, I'd like you
to meet my father.

Mr. Micelli? [CHUCKLES]
I didn't know you were coming.

I didn't know you existed.

Sam's told me all about you.
A-- and you must be Kathleen.

No, no. I'm Angela. [CHUCKLES]

Uh, well, as we say
at the ranch,

looks like I just stepped in it.

Last one in the Jacuzzi
is a skinny, shapeless blonde.

Great. Why didn't you just bring
the whole family?

Hey, towel girl.

-Oh, no.
-I'll need a court for 7:00,

Jacuzzi at 8:00, 107 degrees,
medium jets.

You'll never work
in this town again.

So, Sam, who's cowboy Bob?

[CHUCKLES] It's cowboy Matt,
and you must be Mona.

Sure. Her he knows.

Uh, Sam, come here.
Look, we have things to discuss.

Right you are, sir.

So, why don't y'all come over
to my place for dinner tonight?

I was thinking more
in terms of my place.

Oh, well, they are charging
an arm and the leg at the lodge.

I'm talking about Connecticut.

-We'd love to, Matt.
-Oh, great.

Look, it's a little bit
out of the way,

but you worry, I'll make
all the travel arrangements.

Whoa. [WHISPERS] Good horsey.

TONY: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
I mean, whoa!

No, sit!
Heel! Oh, heel!

Oh, oh, no, not there.
Not there.

Whoa! Oh! Oh, go ahead.
Oh, oh, easy.

Oh, easy, easy, easy, easy.

-[TONY SIGHS]
-See? Wasn't that wonderful?

I love the freedom
of the open trail.

Yeah, what does
internal bleeding feel like?

-Oh...
-MONA: Whoa, big fella!

Whoa!

Yahoo! Thanks, big fella.

Howdy folks,
welcome to Casa de Matt.

Sam's just about done
with dinner.

Sam's cooking? Adios.

-Well, come on in.
-TONY: Okay. Watch it, watch it.

-[TONY SIGHING]
-ANGELA: Howdy.

MONA: Howdy.

SAM: Hi, guys.

Mm. Oh, wow.
Oh, what's that I smell?

[CHUCKLES] I meant,
what smells so good?

-Oh.
-That's my blue corn

-enchilada casserole.
-She's a fine little cook.

Boy, he must be in love.

-[GRUNTS] Up you go, Sam!
-Oh, Matt.

I love it
when she can't reach things.

What-- what-- what is it?
What is it?

Don't they have stepladders
in the west?

[CHUCKLES] Tony, Tony,
you picked me up.

-It didn't mean anything...
-[TONY PANTS]

-...did it?
-Angela, you tripped and fell.

What was I supposed to do?
Leave you in the gutter?

I don't like it. She just looks
a little too comfortable here.

Oh, Dad, look.
I know what you're thinking,

but Matt's an old-fashioned,
kinda, guy.

Don't worry.
We're not living together.

Honey, that never entered
my mind.

Yes!

So, uh, Sam says
you're the equestrian director.

Oh, that's just a fancy title
for taking care of horses.

Ah, so, the flies
don't bother you, then, huh?

Dad, don't start.
Matt goes to college part-time.

He has other goals.

Sam, I don't blame your father
for being concerned.

But I assure you,
your daughter's in good hands,

and she always will be,
as long as I'm around.

Well, that's-- that's really
good to hear, Matt,

but, uh, but I got to tell you,
you know, I-- I can't see

her throwing away
her college education

for what seems to me,
to be just a summer romance.

Hey, if this were
just a summer romance,

well, we wouldn't be
talking about getting married.

[ANGELA GASPS]

Uh, Matt, I-- I, ki-- I, kinda,
wanted that to be a surprise.

[CHUCKLES]

Surprise!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[STAMMERS] M-- m-- marr-- m...

married?

You-- you didn't--
you didn't say married?

Married?

You-- you can't get married.

-I know a good caterer.
-TONY: Mona!

Wait a minute. There's no way
you can get married!

There's just no way
you can get married!

Uh, Dad, it's not like
we're gonna get married
tomorrow.

No, tomorrow
you'll be picking out
a-- a cheap coffin

to bury me in on Boot Hill!

[PANTS] Wait a minute.
I can't catch my breath.

Don't you worry, sir.
I'm trained in CPR.

Wait a minute!

Don't you touch me!
You're the one who's k*lling me!

Tony, are you going to eat
those chips?

-[GROWLS]
-Tony,

Tony, I think maybe
you should sit down.

[PANTS] No. I'm-- I'm okay now.

I'm-- I'm much better.

-I'm in control.
-[WATCH BEEPING]

Oops. Got to go.

-Emergency?
-Samantha's pregnant.

-[GROANS]
-SAM: No!

Dad, it's his mare.
He named her after me.

[GROANS]

Maybe I should stay.

No. Go, go,
and ride like the wind.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come here!
Here's what we're going to do.

First, we're gonna rename
that horse...

then I'm going to throw Sam
over my saddle,

and ride east
until I hit pavement.

Tony, what you have to do
is relax,

so that you don't say something
you're going to regret later.

You're right. You're right.
That's why you're here.

You're the voice of reason.
Use your voice. Talk to Sam.

Sam, Angela wants to talk
to you.

[WHISPERS] Go talk.

[ANGELA CHUCKLES]

[SAM SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

Well, uh, Sam, are you sure
you want to get married now?

-You're so young.
-Young!

Good, good. Young.

I didn't say a word.

Matt's 21, and I'm 18.

You were just as young
when you got married.

[LAUGHS] Oh,

y-- yes, but my marriage
was not a great success.

But, Angela, we are in love.

You can understand that,
can't you?

I do. I do,
but what about college?

I've got plenty of time
like you said, I am young.

-I know I said that.
-And we're in love.

I know, you said that, but, uh,
Sam, there is a big difference

between love
and getting an education.

Well, Matt says I could go
to college here.

Well, Matt maybe right,
but w-- what--

what about your scholarship?
What are you gonna do for money?

We both work full-time.
It's cheaper to live out here.

I know it's cheaper
to live out here.

-And Matt says--
-I don't care what Matt says!

This is real life,
Not Little House on the Prairie!

Now pack your bags.

We're taking
your teenage butt home!

E-- excuse me, uh,
but I-- I think

the voice of reason
is shrieking.

She's-- she's destroying
her life.

She is destroy--
she's throwing it away

on a tall drink of water
in cowboy boots.

It's crazy. It's nuts.

And this furniture
is giving me splinters.

Angela, Angela,
wait just a second.

I'll be right back.

Oh, I'll keep my eye
on the child bride.

Don't say bride!

It doesn't matter what I did.

See, it doesn't matter
if I got married young.

So what if I got married young?

If I jumped off a cliff,
would she jump off a cliff?

Angela, relax. Relax, here.
Here, have a-- have a seat.

-[ANGELA SIGHS]
-Have a seat.

[BOTH SIGH]

[ANGELA SIGHS]

W-- what--
what can she be thinking?

I don't know.
You can't talk to her.

-You can't yell at her.
-You can't send her to her room.

It's 2,600 miles away.

You know, I was always able
to talk to her,

and have an-- an open exchange
with her,

to make her see
that my way was right.

-Wow.
-What?

-Those colors.
-Yeah, yeah.

Wow. That's...

that's the most beautiful sunset
I've ever seen.

Look. Is that an eagle?

Holy smoke.

Gee, now I know
what Sam was talking about.

Now I understand

why she'd want to build
a life for herself out here.

Gee, I-- I think I'm gonna cry.

So, you're okay
with her and Matt?

Get real.
It's a sunset and a bird!

You don't build a life on that!

Where-- where are you going?

Sometimes a man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.

Sometimes a man's gotta walk.

I tell you
what I should have done.

Matt and I should have
just run off and gotten married.

Oh, which is harder?
The green sauce or the red?

We should have driven to Reno,
tied the knot,

and they couldn't have done
a thing about it.

[MONA COUGHS]

It's the red. Definitely.

They're not even giving Matt
a chance, Mona.

You're right. They're scum.

So... then-- then you think
I'm doing the right thing?

Absolutely.

I mean, look,
you only just left home,

and already you found yourself
a great guy.

-Yeah, I did, didn't I?
-Hmm.

And he's a lot like Tony too.

What? Dad Tony?

-Mm.
-[SCOFFS] No way.

Oh, what's so wrong with that?

I mean, Tony took
very good care of you,

and so will Matt.

I can take care of myself.

Uh, yeah, I know that,
but I mean,

why walk when you can ride, huh?
[CHUCKLES]

You're so lucky.
Most girls don't find one guy

like that in an entire lifetime,
and you found two.

Hmm. [CLICKS TONGUE]

[COUGHS]

I was wrong. It's the green!

[COUGHS, EXHALES]

Howdy.

Howdy.

How's the foal?

Fine.

Do you really love her?

She's a fine filly.

I meant my daughter.

So did I.

I ain't gonna give her up.

Me, neither.

Well, then, I guess we got
ourselves a problem.

Yes, we do.

I'll give you
one hundred thousand dollars.

-Okay.
-[SCOFFS]

I was joking.

-So was I.
-Mm.

Look, I gotta tell you, sir.
I admire and respect Sam.

You did a great job raising her.

Would you stop talking
like that.

I'm starting to like you.

-Thank you, sir, I like you too.
-Oh, cut it out.

Hey, look, look, Matt,
if you really love her,

you can wait four years
to marry her.

Four years?

Well, seven,
if she wants to be a lawyer.

Eight, if she wants to be
a doctor.

Boy, would I love that, huh?

Dr. Samantha Micelli.

"Dr. Micelli,
report to surgery, stat." Oh.

Of course, she'd need
another three years

for internship and residency,

five, if she wanted
to specialize.

Thirteen years, tops,

and that's nothing
for true love.

How about if we get engaged
and wait a year to get married?

Well, I could live with a year.

I tell you what,
she comes home, lives with me

-and goes to college.
-Well, I figured she'd stay

-out here and go to college.
-[SCOFFS]

-Oh, oh, guys, I--
-One-- one second,

one second, Sam.
I tell you what we do.

-She visits you on vacations.
-Oh, I got a better idea.

-She visits you on vacations.
-[SCOFFS]

-Excuse me, guys--
-L-- let me straighten this out.

Let me straighten this out.
I tell you what we do.

You can come to Connecticut
and visit anytime you want.

Anytime you want.
Thirty days notice in writing.

-Guys!
-Just give us a minute.

No! No minutes! No seconds!

No-- no written notices!
No nothing!

I can't believe
you two are sitting here

and negotiating my life!

I'll decide where I live
and who I live with!

You really ticked her off now.

Ah, Buttercup... someday...

you'll have a foal.

She'll meet some stallion.

They'll run away together.
She won't write. She won't call.

-[BUTTERCUP SNORTS]
-Oh, I am sorry.

I-- I didn't mean
to depress you.

I thought
you didn't like horses.

Well, we straightened out
our differences.

Well, I hate to be
the bearer of bad news,

but, uh, I saw Sam and Matt
up on the butte,

and they were kissing.

He was kissing my daughter
on the butte?

Oh, Buttercup.

You two want to be alone?

No. I'm sorry.
I'm just-- just a little upset.

No, I'm the one who's sorry.

I came out here to help you,
and I don't feel like I did.

No, what are you talking about?
Of course you did. I mean...

just you being here was, uh...

Hey, I don't think
I couldn't have gotten

through this without you.

-Dad, we need to talk.
-I know, I know.

-[ANGELA CLICKS TONGUE]
-[TONY SIGHING]

Well, I guess
I'll just mosey on over

to the chuck wagon
and hunker down some grub.

[CHUCKLES]

I have no idea what I just said.

-Uh, listen, Dad, I--
-I know, I know.

You guys made up,
and you're staying.

Yes, we made up,
but no, I'm not staying.

-I'm going to come home.
-You're coming home?

Oh, Buttercup,
she's coming home.

♪ Happy trails to me ♪

Dad, don't do that.

-What, sing?
-No, gloat.

You're gloating
because you're getting your way.

Is that so wrong?

Yes. 'Cause I'm not coming home
because I'm Daddy's little girl.

I am doing it
because it's what I think
is best for me.

-Okay.
-No! Don't say "okay,"

because when you're saying okay,
what you're really saying is,

"Haha. I won.
I'll just humor her."

Rump roast.

What?

I'm-- I'm trying to say
something

that you can't read
too much into.

I... I just want you to know
that all of your decisions

are not gonna be the same
as mine.

You just lucked out
this time, Dad.

-Did you tell him?
-Oh, yeah, yeah, she told me,

and, uh, I couldn't be happier
in a non-gloating,

sort of, way, you know.

I hope, uh,
I hope this is okay with you.

Well, it's gonna be
an adjustment, sir,

but if it's what Sam wants
then I'm for it.

What a guy, huh?

Gee, come here, you. You--

you really are a terrific guy.

Well, I'm glad you feel
that way, neighbor.

Ne-- neighbor?

In a couple of months,
I'm moving to Connecticut.

Oh, good, good, good.
That'll be nice.

You-- you can stay in my room,
because I'll be dead!

Butter... [SIGHS]

[CRIES] Angela!

-Angela!
-Dad...

TONY: No. Don't talk to me.

TONY: Who's the Boss
will be back in a moment.

Stick around.

All right. It sure is good to be
back home, huh?

-[LAUGHS]
-ANGELA: I'll say.

TONY: Yeah.

Hey, uh, Angela, I just, uh,
I want to tell you

that I really appreciate
that you came along.

It was-- it was really nice
spending time with you again.

Yeah. [INHALES DEEPLY]

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

Hi, Tony. It's Kathleen.

I'll listen to that later.

[KATHLEEN TALKING
ON FAST FORWARD]

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

Hi, Angela. It's Peter.

[CHUCKLES] I'll listen
to that later.

[PETER TALKING ON FAST FORWARD]

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

Hi, guys. It's Sam.
I'll be home on Sunday.

Oh, Dad, there's somebody here
who feels bad

he didn't say goodbye.
I'll put him on.

[BUTTERCUP NEIGHING]

Buttercup.

[♪♪♪]