05x20 - Stake-Out

[bunniefuu]

Come on, gina, you can do it.

Come on. Come on, gina.

Come on. Come on.

Aah!

Aah!

Yes! All right.

Whoo!

Yeah, that's a workout.

That's a workout.

That's a workout. How'd I do, pam? How'd I do?

Well, if you do more, that'll make .

[Knock on door]

Gina, no, wait. You got to do this.

No.

♪ Don't you know ♪

♪ Know ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Car's all done, little ladies. Car's all done.

Cool.

So--so, that was really fast, elroy.

Yeah, well, I work fast, ma'am. I work real--

Did--did you find out what's wrong with my car?

Well, ma'am, uh...

Your--your gaskets were leaking, ok.

Your front-end alignment was out of alignment,

And, uh--uh...

Your turbo blew up, ma'am. That's what--

From what I discovered looking at it.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, elroy.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't have a turbo.

W-well, you do now, ma'am.

Oh, that--oh, that turbo sh**t out there

Something wicked there, ma'am, real wicked.

Ooh, you got a turbo now.

Whoo!

Elroy, that was pretty fast.

How'd you do that in minutes?

Well, I like to work fast, ma'am.

I don't believe in really holding up people's property.

I like to get them in, get them out.

You know? But, uh--

But I guess-- I guess, ma'am,

If you really want to know the truth,

I guess gladys knight and the pips once said it best.

No, no, that's all right.

♪ I really had to choose ♪

♪ Talkin' imagination ♪

♪ Took a good reason ♪

♪ To keep on keepin' on ♪

♪ I had to make the best of, best of ♪

Thank you, elroy.

♪ A bad situation ♪

Help me out, background. Sing!

♪ Ever since that day ♪

Background, sing!

Elroy, this is not star search.

Just give me my keys.

Please.

Do the people want the song?

No, the people--

Ok--ok, well, ma'am, i--

If you and your little friend here don't want to back me up, ma'am,

That's going to cost you thou, ma'am.

What? Thou, ma'am.

Are you going to back me up or not? Ma'am, back me up.

I'm not backing him up.

Do the people want the song?

You better get your keys.

I said, do the people want the song?

Yes! Ok.

♪ I got to make the best of ♪

♪ Best of, best of ♪

♪ A bad situation ♪

♪ A bad situation ♪

♪ Ever since that day ♪

♪ Ever since that day ♪

♪ I found out that you were gone ♪

♪ Gone, gone, gone ♪

♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! ♪

♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo ♪

♪ Got to keep imagination ♪

♪ There's imagination ♪

♪ Don't you know ♪

♪ Know ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Guh, hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Hoo, hoo, hoo ♪

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

Whwh

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeawhazzup!♪

♪ I'm the man ♪

Tin ♪♪

So, gina, how much longer do you have to be in l.a.?

Mmm, girl, more weeks.

Girl, you should come and hang out with me,

Get a tan like me.

Lay up. Mmm.

Hmm, tan?

Well, what kind of sunblock you using, a blanket?

Shut up, pam. I got a tan.

Where? I mean, I just don't see it.

Whatever, girl, whatever.

Anyway, you should see how I set up that new l.a. Office, girl.

It's the b*mb.

Gina, I'm so proud of you, girl.

[Car horn]

That's martin. He's taking me to the airport, girl.

How many phone books did he have to sit on

To reach the steering wheel?

Well, it's just a little jokey-joke for the road.

That wasn't funny.

It was. It was hilarious.

Anyway, I'm really sorry I can't make your birthday dinner,

But...

I guess I'm going to have to give you your present now.

Get my gift. Get my gift.

Wait a minute.

Get my gift. Here.

You going to love it.

A half-eaten french fry? What the hell is up with that?

Hold on. Let me explain. Scenario:

L.a.--I was at hootchy burger.

Ran smack-dab into denzel getting his grub on.

Denzel who?

I know you not talking about my denzel.

Yes, girl, yes!

I smooth jacked him midbite.

I was here. You was there?

Pauletta was following me with kids.

They was running after me.

Gina, I knew I recognized those bite marks.

Oh, gina, thank you so much.

You know, I'm going to have it bronzed,

And I'm going to wear it around my neck. I cannot wait.

[Car horn] ok.

Yeah, baby?

Martin: hurry up, gina. You got a plane to catch.

All right, I'll be right there.

Girl, I got to go. You know he don't like to wait.

Oh, come on, don't let marty mouse rush you.

Shut up.

Martin: I heard that, yosemite pam.

My baby, I know you was thinking about me. [Knock on door]

Here. Lay right there, and mommy will be right back.

Surprise!

Surprise.

Hey, what is all of this?

Oh, happy birthday, pam.

Oh, thank you.

Happy birthday, pam. Thanks.

Happy birthday, pam.

Happy birthday, pam.

Get off of me!

I got older, not desperate.

One day, when you are old and desperate,

You going to wish you had somebody

Warm and thick like me to hold onto.

Well, when the time comes, I'll call alphonso robero.

Let me see what you got.

Hey...

You got me a computer.

I can't believe you spent all this m--

Hold up. Hold up.

What I got to do for that?

Now that you bring that up, girl, I've always--

Shut up.

Ok, ok, pam, just look at this

As a "happy birthday slash don't expect anything for christmas" gift,

All right? This is nice.

Oh, you know what? I got a great deal on it from my job.

There you go ruining it. You just ruined it.

It's hot?

Tommy, everybody knows you ain't got no job.

No, pam, it's not hot. Look, where you want me to set it up?

Just set it on the table over there. Don't drop it.

All right, all right. What are you talking about? "It's hot."

Mmm.

Anybody want this?

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Stop playing, boy.

This is denzel's french fry.

Come on, baby. I'm going to put you in the bedroom where you belong,

Right next to my bed.

You want me to show you my room?

[Knock on door]

What--what's going on?

I don't know, but I'll tell you what.

If she talked to me like that, she could put that french fry down.

Hey. Good afternoon.

My name is detective johnson,

And this is my partner detective hippy.

Um, hey, hey, look here,

I don't know nothing about no stolen computers, all right?

Uh, he--he did it.

What? Yeah, him. Him.

This one without the job did it, ok?

Hell, I don't even know him.

Hell, I don't even know who I am right now.

Shut up, all right?

Um, look, look, officers, how can I help you?

We're looking for a miss pamela james.

Oh, oh. No, no, officer, mm-mmm.

Uh, pamela james isn't here. She's out on the fire escape.

Ahem! I say she's out on the fire escape!

Pamela, go! Go, girl! They're here!

The cops is coming to get you!

What's all this yelling about?

What is wrong with him?

Hello, my name is detective johnson.

And you are?

Ooh.

Whoever you want me to be.

Um--um, this is pamela james.

Miss james.

No, no, no, no. Please, please, call me pam.

Pam...

We had a tip on a perp in the vicinity,

And we need to commandeer your domicile

To surveil said perp.

We want to use your crib for a stakeout.

All: oh.

Ok, stakeout.

We had a tip that dynamite willie

Is hiding out across the street.

He's considered armed and dangerous.

Hmm...

So, um, detective johnson...

Please, uh...

Call me carl.

Carl, um...

How long do you think all of this will take?

It could take anywhere from a few hours

To a few months.

Well, as far as I'm concerned,

We can make it last forever.

[Imitates laugh]

♪ I wanna show you, baby ♪

♪ That I need you ♪

♪ Who can love you like me? ♪

Ooh...

You know how to work all this equipment and sing, too?

Sound like he begging to me.

My mama once told me a long time ago,

She said, "son...

"Anything worth having

Is worth begging for."

And when it comes to begging, baby,

Nobody does it better than me.

Man, please.

Pam, will you let this boy go ahead and do what he got to do,

So he can get the hell on out of here?

You know, that reminds me of the time we were on that back in '.

Yeah, yeah. I whipped out my ..

Well, I thought I was going to have to commit a .

Luckily, I was in my k- unit,

And my -legged partner apprehended the suspect.

The dog caught the bad guy.

All: oh.

Hip...

Go check on the coffee.

-.

Ooh, can I see?

I can't see anything.

Oh, let me show you how to work it.

Ooh, I can see everything now.

This is a big one.

Yeah, the biggest one in the department.

Well, I've seen bigger, now.

Come on, y'all, this is getting out of hand.

[Beep] whoa, what was that?

What's going on?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Get away from that.

But what's that sound?

Feedback from the tape recorder.

Electronic devices were planted

In order to ascertain audio evidence of said perp.

We bugged the joint.

All: oh.

Ok, well, check this out. Look...

We got some decon for them bugs.

D-don't--don't listen to him. He...

Now, y'all are going to have to back up. We got work to do.

Except you, pam, uh--

Stand right by me.

Uh, well--well, look here, bro,

She ain't going to be able to stand there too long.

See, soon as my buddy gets here,

We--we going to be going out to dinner.

Shut up, tommy.

Um, it ismy birthday.

Oh, uh, happy birthday.

How old are you, ?

[Imitates laugh]

Oh, look, there the perp.

Where? Where?

I don't see anyone.

My bad.

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

[Knock on door]

It says it right there.

All right, I'm coming.

Ew, what you want?

I want you to get out my face.

Now, what the hell is going on up in here?

Oh, these, um, detectives are using my apartment for a stakeout.

Stakeout?

Don't you mean stank-out?

Now that's funny.

Whatever.

Aren't you supposed to be in the mini-man march?

And aren't you supposed to be at jurassic park?

Why do you always have to come up with--

I know you're not talking about this fine nubian princess here.

Nubian what?

I know you ain't talking about my man over here.

Shut up, martin.

All right, all right, pam, look.

Playing all the time. Pam...

Happy birthday.

Don't say I never gave you nothing.

Better have got me a gift.

It's a gift certificate.

Yeah, that's right, that's right.

For a lifetime supply of tic tacs, martin?

Right, right, and you might want to redeem that

As soon as possible.

[Telephone rings] so dumb sometimes.

Trying to be funny.

Hello?

Oh, yeah, yeah, hold on for a minute.

It's for you, carl.

Oh, thank you.

No problem.

Anytime.

Johnson, here.

Yes, sir.

We're on our way.

Yo, hip, we got to go. We got a hostage situation downtown.

Dynamite willie will just have to wait.

Let's go.

All right.

Well, bye, carl.

Dynamite willie?

That's who they looking for?

Yep. So what?

What you mean, so what, man?

There's $, reward for his arrest.

Grand?

Move over.

That's right, man. Don't y'all--

Don't y'all watch america's most wanted,man?

If we catch dynamite willie, we going to get broke off.

Uh-uh. Hold up. Hold up.

Broke off, nothing. What about my birthday dinner?

Now, see, I'm confused.

All right, now, do you celebrate the day the egg was laid

Or the day it was hatched?

Shut up, martin. You so stupid.

I'll just take myself to dinner.

Y'all sit here and listen to martin if y'all want to.

Well, good. That's one less brother

We got to split the reward money with.

Cole, come over here and check out the telescope, man.

Ok.

Tommy, you see anybody yet?

No, not yet.

Cole, come over here and look through the telescope.

If you see dynamite willie, holler, ok?

Hey--hey, martin, I was thinking, man.

You know, this is pam's apartment.

I think we should cut her in on the money.

Well, tommy, since you're such an animal lover,

You can give her a cut of your $.

$?

Yes, tommy.

Look, man, it was my idea.

I'm the brains behind the operation, man.

Martin, you know that's not fair.

Neither is being a black man in america,

But you got to move on.

Cole: yo, yo, yo.

Look, I see somebody.

Cole: I see somebody. Come here, come here.

Yo, he's right. I'm calling the cops.

Tommy: oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's him, all right.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Martin, what are you still doing at pam's?

I thought you'd be--

Gina, not now, baby. Look, I got to call the cops.

Cops? Martin, what'd you do this time?

Gina, I didn't do nothing, baby.

It's not about me.

It's about pam and dynamite willie.

All right, I'm confused. Who's dynamite willie?

He's a criminal, gina.

See, I told pam about messing with those roughnecks.

When she going to start listening to me?

Well, try speaking goat next time.

Look, I got to go, baby. All right.

Hey, hello. One time.

Yeah, yeah, look. We got dynamite willie.

Get over here as-- as quick as possible.

What you mean, you got to make a quick pick-up first, man?

We got donuts here, man.

Hey, hey, tell them don't forget the loot.

Uh, and don't forget the loot.

Yeah, yeah, I got to go. All right. Ok.

All right. All right, all right.

What's he doing now, cole?

All right, uh, now-- now he's, uh--

He's going into the kitchen.

Right. He's opening the refrigerator,

Taking out some whipped cream,

And he's headed to the bedroom.

Oh--oh, you know what, martin?

I heard-- I heard that, um--

That dynamite willie has robbed over banks, man.

You see? See, that's the problem with people today, man--

Keeping their money in banks.

I spend all my money.

That way, my mind is free.

Ooh, somebody else just came into the apartment.

Uh-oh, that must be the accomplice.

Nah, that's a woman,

And she--she look like miss gerri.

What?

M-miss gerri?

Oh, snap.

That is miss gerri.

What the hell is she doing, man?

She's, uh--

She taking her clothes off right now.

Yeah, yeah, and that--

Oop, oop, now she taking her teeth out.

Feh.

Ah, yeah.

Feh. I'm--i'm going to be sick.

Martin. Martin, come on, man.

You act like you've never seen a naked body before.

Tommy...

What I saw clinging to miss gerri's bones

Can't be considered a body.

It was more like a slinky with skin on it.

Well...

You don't have to worry about that now.

She's gone, martin.

Ok, cole, what's he doing now?

Ok, now he's...

What? He pointing at us.

Point? Yeah.

Let me see that, cole.

He ain't pointing at us, fool.

What he doing?

He's giving us the finger, man.

Now he's walking out the front door.

Ok, can't we--i--i bet he's on his way over here.

I'm out. I'll see you all later.

Hey, hey, tommy, hold up, man.

The cops will be here in a minute.

You said that a half-hour ago.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Martin, you right, man.

I can't believe I was trippin'.

How would he know what apartment we in?

[Person approaches]

That's him.

We're going to die.

Cole. Cole, chill.

Tommy--tommy, cut the lights off. We going to jump him.

We'll jump him. Cole, over there.

All right, I got him!

Turn the lights on! I got him!

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hold it!

Don't hit her. It's--it's pam.

That ain't no damn pam. That's the bogeyman.

Whoever it is, get them the hell out of here!

Pam, pam, I'm sorry.

We thought that you were dynamite willie.

Tommy, do I look like a man to you?

Yep.

Cole: whoo. Boy, oh, boy.

I'm glad that's over.

[Knock on door]

We're going to die.

Man: open up. I know you're in there.

Pam, hand me that blanket.

Martin, you know what? You make me sick.

All this is your fault.

Look, look, y'all chill, ok?

Uh, um, when he comes in, uh, we going to jump him, all right?

Pam, you just lock jaw on him, ok?

Stupid.

Tommy: you guys be quiet. Shh.

Here he comes. Here we go.

Aah!

Here you go! We got you, dynamite willie!

Who the hell you think you messing with?

We going to break your neck!

What's going on here?

Hey! Hey!

What's going on here?

What you think is going on here, man?

We caught dynamite willie.

Now show me the money.

That's impossible.

We picked dynamite willie up minutes ago.

Then...

Who this?

I saw you peeping toms.

You were peeking in my apartment while I was trying to get my freak on.

Hold up, mr. Old man.

Ain't nobody no peeping tom,

And what I saw down there blinded me.

Aw, you clowns aren't even looking in the right apartment.

Somebody moved the telescope.

Go figure.

M-m-my bad.

It's about to be mybad.

I'm going to beat the tarnation out of all of you!

Oh, lord! He got a g*n! Run!

Tommy: look out! Run! Go!

Don't you run from this old-fashioned a*s whupping.

I know--i know I left them here somewhere.

All right, all right. Go get them.

Boom, boom. Right here, see?

See, tommy, I knew I left them here, man.

Yo, I'd have been straight up locked out of the house.

Wait, wait. Since when you need a key to open up a cardboard box?

Shut up.

Very funny.

Speaking of keys, what you still doing with the keys

To pam's apartment, huh?

These?

"These?"

Oh.

Well, er, uh--

All right, I'm going to tell you, cole.

I never returned them from, you know,

Back when we were kickin' it.

You the man.

Hey, look, look, was it, was it, was it?

Shut up, man. You got your keys. Just get out of here.

[Beeper]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

This might hit me up.

Ok, hurry up, cole. We got to leave.

All right, I'm going to return this real quick.

Hold on, man.

All right.

Yo, what up? Somebody page cole?

Hey, hey, what's up, girl?

Yeah, yeah, you know I was checking you out.

You know that.

Huh? Say what?

Oh, you want-- you want me to come over?

Right now?

All right, no, dig it, let me ditch my partner, and I'll be right there.

Sure enough. All right.

Oh, so it's like that, huh?

Got that booty call. About to roll it over to shanise's crib, yeah?

Oh, no. Nah, this ain't got nothing to do with shanise, man. I got to go.

Wait, wait, cole, cole.

Then if that wasn't shanise, who was it?

M-miss gerri.

Not miss gerri miss gerri.

You better believe it.

I want you to get out my face. That's what I'm doing here.

To tell you to get out my face.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

I was going to wing it anyway.

What's he doing now, cole?

It's a woman, and she look like sh--


Oh, snap, man! That ismiss gerri.


What was that one?

Hold up. Ready?