06x11 - The World Accordion to Jonathan

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

♪ there's a time for love ♪

♪ and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

[Humming]

Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Hey, hey, hey.

Look what I got
jonathan, huh?

♪ what the world
needs now ♪

♪ is glove, sweet glove ♪

Tony, uh,

It looks a little
old and used.

That's right, angela.
I broke it in good, you know,

I--i oiled it,
I strapped the ball in it,

And put it under
my spare tire

For three whole days.

Thank god you didn't
get him a puppy.

Anyway--anyway, now that
he's made the baseball team,

He's gonna be
a star second baseman

Just like
his old maid.

Hey, everybody,
mr. Lucky's home.

Tony: hey.

Looks like mr. Lucky is gonna
end up with mr. Hernia.

What--
what do you got there?

Uh, why mr. Lucky?

Mr. Lucky because
I have probably

The finest musical
instrument on earth.

Funny. That looks
like an accordion.

It is. I had to get
to music class real early

So no one else
would get it.

Isn't she a beaut?

Yeah. Makes me wanna
polka my brains out.

Honey, I didn't know
you liked

The accordion
so much.

Oh, big fan.
Big, big fan.

Yeah, yeah.
Well, me, too, jonathan.

You know, you can play all sort
of neat songs on this, like...

♪ lady of spain,
I adore you ♪

♪ ba ba ba ba
bup bup ba ba ♪

When I was in barcelona,

Carlos used to sing me
that song.

Who would've thought
he'd become king?

Mother, the only king
you ever dated

Was leon gold,
the bedspread king.

Oh, well,
I'm off to practice.

I'm just dying to jump
on this baby.

All right, buddy.
Hit it hard.

Hit it hard.

Tony, maybe someday
jonathan and I

Could play
a concert together.

He on the accordion,
me on my cello.

This house is not
big enough.

Sure it is, mona.
Sure it is.

There's always room
for cello.

Mona: oh, no.

Well, my day was
a total embarrassment.
How was yours?

What happened?
What happened?

Jonathan got stuck
with the accordion.

And everybody at school
made fun at him.

He was so upset,

He threw up
on the music teacher.

Tony: oh.
Oh, my baby.

He's always had
a nervous stomach.

I better go
talk to him.

Take an apron.

Hey, hey. Hey,
wait for me. Wait for me.

This will
cheer him up.

I'll give him the glove.
Good thinking.

Oh, poor little fella.

I feel sorry for him.

Well, uh, mother,
you wanna come with us?

Nah. Too depressing.

[Knocking on door]

Angela:
can we come in?

Whew! This sucker's big,

But then, there's all
the more to love.

Sweetheart,
you don't need to do this.

We know what happened
in school today.

Everything?

Tony: yeah. Can I get you
an antacid?

I hate this thing.

It's totally uncool.

Well, hey, jonathan,
you know what's cool?

I'll tell you
what's cool.

Baseball's cool!
[Laughs]

I got cut
from the team.

Tony: well, baseball's
not that cool, you know.

Well, honey, I'm sure
lot of kids got cut.

No. I was the only one.

But then I went to try out
for the band

And look what
I got stuck with.

Sweetheart, you know,
there's more to life

Than sports
and music,

And acceptance
by your peers,

And feeling good
about yourself.

There's, uh...

A mother's love.

But, mom,
I wanna belong.

I mean, I've got to belong
to something,

Besides you.

Well, hey, jonathan, look,
you wanna be in that band?

Then we make that
accordion thing work.

I mean, hey,
you got lemons,
you make lemonade.

That's right, tony.

And you know
what else?

Sometimes you might even find
a little lump of sugar

On the bottom
of the glass.

Yeah, yeah. Sure,
sure angela, sure.

Listen to me.
Listen to me.

I got a buddy--
my best friend bobby governale.

You've heard me
talk about him.

He plays
the accordion too.

Let me tell you
somethin'

When we were young,
all the kids made fun of him.

But because bobby was
always practicing

And squeezing
that accordion,

He built his biceps up
as hard as baseballs, huh.

And you know what
that did for him?

It made him feel better
about himself.

Yeah, that's true. He made him
feel better about himself.

But, it also got those guys
to stop laughing

And appreciate
the accordion more,

Right after he beat
the hell out of them.

Oh, forget it.
I'm a loser.

Oh, jonathan.
Sweetheart!

You are special.

Sell it
to someone else.

I'd like
to be alone now.

All right. Okay.

Hey. Hey, kid,
for what it's worth--

I think you're a hell
of a baseball player.

There you go.

Oh, what a day
that kid had.

My poor baby.

Jonathan: I'm not a baby!

Humph!

Let's move down the hall.

Okay. Okay.
Jonathan: thank you!

You think
there's a sport

That requires
great hearing?

Jonathan: no.
I already checked!

Come here. Come here.
What are we--

What are we
going to do?

I can't stand to see him
hurting like this.

All right. Don't worry
about a thing, angela.

You know,
a kid his age needs

He needs
a guy's influence.

And I'm just the guy
for the job, you know.

I'm gonna start
an all-out campaign

To build up
his confidence.

When I'm through
with him,

He--he's gonna have a sport
he's great at,

He'll have friends
coming out of his ears,

And he'll play that accordion
brilliantly.

[Accordion music playing]

Well, two out of three.
Come on.

Grrr.

Grrr.

Grrr!

Grrr!

Grrr!

Grrr!

Grrr! Grrr!

Woof woof!

Aroo!

And then when you get your
opponent laughing like that,

You take him down!

Oh-hey, jonathan,
I been thinking.

I know you how much
you like the races.

Yeah,
I like them a lot!

All right, buddy.
So what do you say sunday,

Jonathan and tony
at lime rock raceway?

Hey, sunday, huh?

Where--where the cars
meet the stars

And your tires
are on fire

And the tread's
on your head.

Vroom! Be there.

Really? That'd be great.
We'll have
a good time.

Hey, is that
your watch?

Where? What...

Oh! The old watch
under the couch trick.

I should've
seen it coming.

Ooh, you're
lightening fast.

You got the reflexes
of a puma.

Hey, it's all
in the hearing.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, I'll get that.

Hang on.

Hey, it's my man bobby!

My friend tony!

Hey!

Ooh, you really should
have that thing lanced.

Jonathan, this is bobby
"groovy goovey"
governale, huh?

Hey, nice house.

You like it, huh?
Yeah.

Hey, you hear
from wino?

Are you kidding me? He was over
my house again for dinner.

Nothing changes.
Don't give him my address.

Oh, it's good to see you,
buddy.

Jonathan, you wanna be great
in that school band?

You wanna have arms

That'll rip the seams right
out of your shirt?

Then let this man here.

Let this man...

Teach you how to play
the squeeze box.

Bobby, please,
tickle those ivories for us.

[Accordion music playing]

Hey!

Whoa!

Whoa! That's great, bobby!
That's great!

Hey, how does that
make you feel?

Doesn't it make you
just wanna
play that accordion?

What do you think?
Wow!

Can you teach me
to play like that?

Are you kidding,
kid?

With hands like yours,
you're a natural.

Hey, before you know it,
you'll be a star

In one of my recitals.

Hey, did you hear that,
huh?

Hey, bobby, bobby,
you could teach him
my favorite.

♪ lady of spain,
I adore you ♪

Eww.

What, what?

You know,
not for nothing, tony,

But I hate that song.

It's giving the accordion
a bad rap from day one.

I refuse to play it
or teach it.

Oh, bobby, you know,
you're missing out

On a real crowd pleaser here.

It's a showstopper.

But you know what,
I've seen it stop shows.

Mona: okay, okay, who's making
that god-awful...

Wonderful sound?

On my favorite
instrument.

Bobby governale,
mona robinson.

Oh, you like
the accordion?

Like it?
Like it?

Every time I hear it,

I feel like
slipping into

My lace and silk
lederhosen.

Mona celebrates the oktoberfest
all year long.

Well, I got to be going.

Mona, it was a pleasure
to meet you.

Tony, see you later.
Okay, buddy.

And you.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Hey, great hands.

He gets them
from me.

Uh, bob,
could you drop me off

At the pulaski home?

I want to pick up
my concertina.

All right, bob.
See you tomorrow

And, uh,
watch yourself.

Did I handle it?

Did I get the guy
for you or what, huh?

Okay. Where were we?

Hey, watch it.
You heard bobby the hands.

Okay, then.
No hands body slam!

Aah!

Aah!

Oh, oh.

Oh, h*!

Oh!

[Accordion music playing]

Hey.

Hey.

[Accordion music playing]

Hello, my name
is angela bower.

And I'm having a small recital
in my home on tuesday night.

And I need to rent


My son jonathan is
making his debut.

The accordion.

Yes, I'm serious.

He's only been taking lessons
for two weeks,

But he's very, very good.

He's also quite
an athlete.

He just got a new glove,
you know--

Uh, I'm sorry.
I'm mrs. Bower's nurse.

May I help you?

That will be 6:00
at 3344 oak hills drive.

Yes. Thank you.
Goodbye.

Lime rock raceway,
here we come.

♪ doo dah, doo dah ♪

Oh, tony, jonathan
is gonna be so excited.

He thought today's race
was sold out.

And it was.
It was.

But when I got to that
ticket booth

I turned on
the old street smarts.

Oh, you pushed,
you hustled...

I cried.

It worked too.
It worked.

Because the ticket girl
felt bad for me

She gave me her seats.

Tony, you are
the sweetest,

Most wonderful man
in the whole world.

Eh, talk is cheap.

How about
a little action, huh?

Yeah, how about
a little action, huh?

[Doorbell rings]

Just...

Uh...

Oh, hello, bobby.

I was just about
to call you.

Everything's all set
for the recital.

That's great.
Angela, thanks again

For letting us use your house
for the recital

You bet.
Hey, tony.

Hey, bobby.
What's happening?

Hey, hey. Hey.
Nice suit.

Who died? [Laughs]

You, if you keep on
insulting my clothes.

Hey, watch it,
buddy.

Jonathan: hey, bobby!

Johnny!

[Sings scales]

[Sings scales]

[Sings scales]

Hey, how's the school
band going?

Oh, great.
I'm getting a solo

In abraham,
martin, and john.

You--you are?
You didn't tell me that.

Oh, sorry. I forgot.

Oh, well, hey, uh--

Hey, bobby,
what are you doing here?

You guys ain't got
another lesson today, do you?

Nah, I got this gig
over in hartford.

I'm doing a big
bar mitzvah.

And I thought
my main man, johnny,

Would like to come
and see me play.

Really?
That'd be great.

Let's go.

Uh, sweetheart,

Uh, tony just got
tickets for the races.

And he went through
a lot of trouble.

At lime rock?
Yeah, yeah.

Hey, we'll have
a blast, you know.

The roar
of the engines,

The smell of
the pit crew.

Oh, well, hey,
hey, jonathan,

If--if you'd rather go
to the bar mitzvah,

It's okay with me.

Hey, thanks, tony.

Come on, bobby.

Tony, you okay
with that?

Oh, sure.
Of course, bob.

Hey, hey. Car races
happen every day.

A bar mitzvah happens
once every 13 years, right?

hava nagila.

Something is
different today.

Nice.

Better.

Quiet.
Hmm.

Could it be that a certain
little polka head

Isn't squeezing
his bellows?

Now call me
a terrible person,

But some times
I just have the urge

To hit it.

[Accordion chimes]

It lives.

Hey, guys.
Oh, hi.

Oh, we had a great time
at the races,

Didn't we, tony?
Oh, yeah.

Great, great time.

Oh. Dad, are you still upset
about jonathan dumping you

To go to the bar mitzvah
with bobby?

I am not upset
about him dumping me.

I mean I want the kid
to make new friends

And be exposed
to other religions

And eat gefilte fish.

Anyway, anyway,

It's what I've been saying
all along,

The kid needs to be
more well-rounded.

[Door opens]

Jonathan:
hey, everybody!

♪ da-da da
da da-da da ♪

♪ da da da
da-da da da ♪

Hey!
Hey!

Hi, guys.

So, uh,
did you guys have fun?

Oh, yeah. This girl debbie
slipped me her number

On a math book cover.

What can I say?

Chicks
love musicians.

All right.
Hey, bobby.

Uh, could I speak to you
in the kitchen, please?

Sure. Be back in a minute,
lady k*ller.

Tony: [laughs]
lady k*ller, huh?

Lady k*ller.

Hey, bobby,
great job with jonathan.

You know, he's been squeezing
that accordion so much,

Before you know it,
he'll be beating up them kids

Who are making fun
of him, huh?

Hey, that's important
to a kid.

Yeah.
And you should know, huh?

But anyway, look, bob,
I got a little problem.

You see,
I had this plan

To sort of build up
his confidence

In a lot
different areas.

But now, all he's doing
is spending his time
on that accordion.

Yeah. But, tony,
he's got to practice.

He's got an
important recital coming up.

Yeah. I know
about the recital.

And that's what
I was thinking, you know,

Maybe after
the recital,

We could cut back
on his lessons.

Cut back
on his lessons?

Cut back
on my lessons?

You can't do that.

You know, jonathan,
this has nothing to do

With you being
well-rounded.

It's that old
accordion bigotry

Rearing it's ugly head.

Accordion bigotry?

That's ridiculous.

And how come you used to make
fun with me when I was a kid?

Bobby, I was eight years old.
I made fun of everybody.

I called everybody names.
Remember?

I used to call the triangle
player a square.

Come on,
admit it tony.

You thought all accordion
players were jerks.

Bobby, I did not.

Admit it.
I did not.

Come on, admit it.

All right, fine, I thought

All accordion players
were jerks, okay?

So you think
I'm a jerk

Because I play
the accordion?

No, jonathan,
it's not what I meant.

I mean,
when I was a kid.

And anyway,
that was before

I heard
lady of spain

Played on it,
you know.

No, jonathan,
that's an accordion bigot.

He sweets to your face,

But behind your back
he's saying,

"We don't want them
living next door.

We don't want that kind
marrying our daughter."

Is that true, tony?

Of course, not.
Don't listen to this nut job.

What are you kidding me?

Hey, you wanna--
you wanna to propose to sam?

You got my blessing.

Too little, too late.

Look, don't bother.

And don't bother
coming to the recital either.

I don't want you
anywhere near us.

Oh, wait.
Wait a minute. Jonathan...

Well, well, well.

An accordion player
living under your very own roof.

There's a certain
twisted justice to that.

Man [on tv]:
and if you call right now,

you can get
everybody's favorite,

the too fat polka.

Man [over tv]:
♪ i don't want her ♪

♪ you can have her ♪

♪ she's too fat for me ♪

♪ she's too fat for me ♪

[Knocking on door]

Man [on tv]:
♪ she's too fat for me... ♪

Can I talk to you
for a minute?

Heard you got
angry at tony.

Well, he lied to me.

He told me
he like the accordion,

But he really doesn't.

He's just another
closet accordion bigot.

No, he's not.

And why does he want me
to cut back on my lessons?

Because he doesn't want you
to limit yourself.

Uh, let's face it,
honey.

Not--not many boys your age
have a complete collection

Of lawrence welk
records.

Oh, now you hate
the accordion, too.

Bobby was right.

This society will
never accept us.

Jonathan,
I love the accordion,

And tony loves
the accordion.

But more importantly,
tony loves you.

Did you know how much
it hurt him

When you said
you didn't want him

To come to
your recital.

I hope as much as it hurt

When he made fun
of my accordion.

Oh, sweetheart.

Oh, I'm sorry
you're hurt,

But you've gotta remember
that tony was the one

Who brought bobby here
in the first place

Because he wants
to make you happy.

Now that
you're spending

So much time
with bobby,

I think
tony kinda misses you.

I have to practice, uh,
if you don't mind.

[Xylophone music playing]

I think
this is terrific.

I think
this is okay.

I think we've died
and gone to music hell.

[Xylophone music playing]

Jonathan's on next.

Sam, he--he doesn't
want me in there.

Sure, he does.
No, he doesn't, sam.

Our relationship is--

Has deteriorated
to good morning,
good evening,

And please pass
the gefilte fish.

You're really hurt,
aren't you?

No, sam, I'm not hurt.
I'm stupid.

I should have
expected this.

I mean, you teach a kid
everything you know

About being a guy,
and then he bars you

From his accordion
recital.

It's the same
old story.

Dad, as a former kid,
let me just tell you.

Sometimes kids say things
they don't mean,

Or they mean things
they don't say,

Or they say things
they mean,

But then they take it back

Because they realized
it was really too mean.

What do you mean?

This is a big day
for jonathan.

And even though
he may not admit it,

I think he wants you
out there.

Sam, he doesn't.

[Applause]

He's on, dad.

Thank you, amethyst.

And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

A special treat.

I'm honored and proud
to present

My friend,
my student,

My main man,
mr. Johnny b!

[Cheering]

Woman: yeah, jonathan!
Whoo!

[Accordion plays]

Ladies and gentlemen,

I can't continue
with this song.

See, sam, I told you
I shouldn't be here.

I'd like to try
something a little different.

This is for
my main man.

Oh, his main man,
his main man.

[Plays lady of spain]

[Crying]

[Snorting]

That's my boy.

That's our song.

Jonathan.

[Tony wailing loudly]

Tony: who's the boss?
will be back in a moment.
Stick around.

[Plays dueling banjos]

Could anything be
nerdier than this?

[Tuba music playing]

[Screams]

[Whimsical music playing]