03x16 - Hit the Road, Chad

[bunniefuu]

["BRAND-NEW LIFE" PLAYING]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for living ♪

♪ You take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ Brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

["ALWAYS A FRIEND"
PLAYING OVER RADIO]

♪ Always a friend ♪

♪ Someone I can talk to ♪

♪ Always a friend ♪

♪ Someone I can
Always turn to ♪

♪ Time and again ♪

♪ When it seems as if... ♪

SAMANTHA:
Hey.

Oh! Hey!

[TURNS MUSIC OFF]
[STAMMERS]

I was just, uh--
Oh, no, no.

You were great.

Gee, there may be a career
in this.

If you can only keep your voice
from changing.

It works for Wayne Newton.

Hey, hey. Wait a minute, I want
you to hear this song, here.

Chad McCann wrote this
for Samantha.

That's Chad on the tape.
Later, okay?

I've got to work on
the Sturdy-Boy presentation.

What's that, what's that?
That power tool thing?

Right.

Let me run
an idea by you.

Uh-oh.

Now, I just want you
to imagine

a man repairing
a thatched roof in Ireland.

And as he saws,
he sings.

♪ Oh, sturdy boy ♪

♪ Repairs, repairs are calling ♪

Now you know why her
singing teacher shot himself.

Yeah.

It was an accident, Mother.
He was cleaning his g*n.

Hey, Mona, you want to hear
the rest of the song?

So it doesn't bother you

that some kid is writing
love songs to your daughter?

Mona, it's not a love song.
It's a song about friendship.

And, anyway,
what do you think I am?

One of those
overprotective fathers?

Ha!

Hey!

Chad, arm.

Mona, did you hear Chad's song?

Well, just a little,
but it sounded great.

Oh, trust me, it is.

He wrote it for me,
you know.

Yeah, I just thought about Sam,

opened my heart and jammed it
into my synthesizer.

Is he sensitive or what?

CHAD [OVER RADIO]:
♪ ...Since I don't know when ♪

♪ You're a shoulder
I can lean on ♪

♪ Every now and then ♪

Why, hello there.

Hi.

Whoo!

Ray Charles!

You are Ray Charles!

That's what it says
on my American Express.

Hey, come in,
come in and have a seat.

Well, I hope I'm not
interrupting.

I was just up
in my agent's office there,

and I-- I heard that song.

It's a real nice sound.

Oh, I can't tell

you what a thrill this is
for me, Mr. Charles.

Hey, just call me Ray.

How about Brother Ray?

You must be a real fan.
What's your name?

They call me Sister Mona.

Oh, I have always dreamed
of being a Raelett.

See, I have a great voice.

Oh, well, what do you
look like?

I'm young,
black and beautiful.

Oh, really?

Okay, you got me.
So I'm not black.

[LAUGHS]

Mother, could you please
get me the file for me on--

Look. Look who's here.
Oh!

Well, good. I hope you know
more about typewriters

than the last guy.

An-- Angela--
Well, so how about it?

Are you on a break or are you
going to fix my typewriter?

Well, I-- I'll give it a shot.
I'm pretty good at these things.

I certainly hope so.
I'm paying good money.

All right now.
Where is it?

It's to the left over there.
You want me to show you?

Oh, no, no.
That's-- That's okay.

[WHISPERING]
Mother...

he's blind.

They sent us
a blind repairman.

So what? I used to date
a blind man, and I can tell you,

he was very good
with his hands.

Anyway, he is not
a repairman.

He's not?

All right. Here we go.
What's-- What's the problem?

Well, see,
the keys won't go down.

Then what's
he doing here?

He is Ray Charles.

I don't care
what his name is.

[LOUDLY]
Ray Charles?

Yeah?

Oh.

Oh, I am so embarrassed.

Well, what about me?
I'm your mother.

Uh, uh, Mr. Charles,

I just-- I feel just--
I don't know what to say.

What a faux pas.

I just-- I wasn't expecting--
I feel terrible.

Oh, that's okay, babe.
Come over and try this.

All right.

Oh, my. It works.

Well, thank you.
You are really talented.

Well. you know,
it's always good

to have something
to fall back on

in case the music
just don't work out.

[LAUGHS]
Yes, well...

Okay. Would you like to hear
the rest of Chad's song?

Ray likes it too.

Yeah, it's--
It's a great song.

As a matter of fact,
what do you guys do here?

Are you in
the music business?

Oh, no. Oh, no,
we're in advertising.

Oh, so that song
is for a commercial.

Oh, no, no, not at all.

That song was written
by a 14-year-old kid.

It's not at all the kind
of thing that we would use.

Oh, that's-- That's too bad.
Uh, it's kind of catchy.

Unless, of course, we could get
the right person to sing it.

Um...

Mr. Charles.

Oh. Oh, baby.
It's-- It's not my bag.

Oh, well, isn't there
anything I could do

to put it in your bag?

[LAUGHS]
Well, it--

It would have to be the kind of
thing I could really get behind.

Oh. Oh, well, then I think
we are really in business here,

because we're talking
about a product

that brings friends
and families together,

helps them build
a better tomorrow.

Sturdy-Boy power tools.

This is usually
where she sings

"The Battle Hymn
of the Republic."

[LAUGHS]

Well, that's one
of my favorites.

Truth is, Sister Mona,

I-- I dig Sturdy-Boy
power tools.

Really? You--

You use power tools?

Oh, sure. I build
a lot of things:

tables, chairs, bookcases.

Of course, God only knows
what they look like.

[ALL LAUGH]

[APPLAUSE]

Just think, Ray Charles
is going to sing his song

in a commercial.

[SQUEALS]

Who's Ray Charles?

This whole thing
is so incredible.

What can I say? Chad and I make
a great songwriting team.

Like Hall & Oats,
Ashford & Simpson...

Irving and Berlin.

I thought Chad
wrote the song.

The words and the music,
but I was the inspiration.

The poor guy's crazy
about me.

Chad!

Sam.

Uh, it's not what
it looks like.

She means nothing to me.

Take it easy, Sam.
You don't want to make a scene.

Bonnie, please,
I'm a mature woman.

I know how to handle
these things.

Ow! Oh!

Oh, Samantha...

How could he do that
to me?

With Susie Sherman
of all people.

She has a huge behind.

Maybe he couldn't see it
from the side he was kissing.

Why'd he have to write
that song for me?

He made me think
I was special.

Oh, hey, now, Samantha,
this may not help much,

but I think
you're special.

Hey, forget about think.
I know you're special.

You're the most special person
in the whole world.

You're right.
It doesn't help.

Boy, this-- This sure was easier
when you were small.

I mean, you'd come in with
a scraped knee or something,

and all I had to do
to fix it was...

[IN DOPEY VOICE]
What's the matter, Samantha?

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Hey, look at that.
It still works, huh?

All right, honey, look,
I got to go get dinner ready.

You okay?

Sure.
Okay.

Love you.
Love you too.

[IN DOPEY VOICE]
Hey, Samantha, look at this.

Don't press it, Dad.

♪ Always a friend... ♪

Oh, Angela, please.

What? Is my voice
that bad?

Your voice is fine.

It is, isn't it?

My late voice teacher
told me

that it was not unlike
Petula Clark.

I just don't ever want
to hear that song again.

Well, why not?

Because Chad McCann
is a toad.

Well, honey, what--
What happened?

I caught him kissing
Susie Sherman.

Why that pubescent
little philanderer.

How dare he treat you
like that.

So you really
understand?

Of course I do.

I'm a woman too.

And you'll stand by me?

Hey, we're sisters.

Oh, good.

I was afraid you'd still want
to use Chad's song.

[SIGHS]

Pardon me?

Just...part of me dies
every time I hear it.

Sam, sweetheart,

I feel terrible
about what happened,

but you know it's not healthy
to dwell on these things.

And as hard as is,

you've just got
to pull yourself together

and get over it.

I will.

By 7:00?

That's when Ray Charles
is going to be here.

See, he's done a new arrangement
of the song, and he just--

He can't wait
to run it by me.

Ray Charles is going
to ask you about music?

Well, it is my commercial,

and we just have to make sure
that we're simpatico.

Angela, I don't want him
singing that song.

Samantha, there's a lot
at stake.

Please try to understand.

I do. You care more about your
business than you care about me.

That is not true.

♪ Always a friend... ♪

Jonathan, shut up!

Samantha,
I know you're upset,

but that's no reason
to take it out on him.

Yeah!

I said shut up, squirt.

Don't talk to him
like that.

I can talk to him
any way I want to.

Samantha,
go to your room.

You are not my mother!
You can't tell me what to do!

Samantha,
go to your room!

Hey, oh, whoa.
Oh, hey, hey.

What's going on?

Angela told me
to go to my room.

Then go to your room.

You said we were sisters.

We're not sisters.

We're not even friends.

Oh, Angela, here.

Now, look, I'm sure
she didn't mean that.

She loves you.
I know she does.

She's just had
a very rough day.

Which-- Which is still no excuse
to talk to you that way.

She doesn't want me
to use Chad's song.

Well, can you blame her?

I mean, can't you just
get another one?

No, that's the song
that Sturdy-Boy wants.

And what am I supposed
to tell them,

that their multi-million dollar
campaign is off

because Chad McCann
kissed Susie Sherman?

[SIGHS]

They wouldn't
understand, huh?

Tony.
All right, all right.

I'll talk to her.
I'll talk to her.

What are you going
to tell her?

Oh, Angela. You don't tell
teenagers anything.

You know, you start
lecturing a teenager,

they get this glazed look in
their eye, you know what I mean?

You're talking about
the meaning of the universe,

and they're thinking,

"Gee, I need
a yellow blouse."

You know what I mean?

Oh, Sam--
I'm not out of my room,

I just came down
to get my books.

Now that my social life
is ruined,

I might as well
be a brain.

Um, why don't I just
leave you two alone.

Now, Sam...
Uh-oh,

I feel a lecture
coming on.

Oh, hey, what do you mean
a lecture?

I don't lecture you,
do I?

Yes.
Oh, well...

Well, this isn't
a lecture.

Look, Sam, I'm not going to lay
a bunch of stuff on you

about how sometimes you got
to look at the bigger issues,

and sometimes in life
you have to make sacrifices

for the people you love.

You need a yellow blouse?

Sorry, I must have
drifted off.

Look, Sam, I know
you're mad at Angela,

but she loves you.

She loves you like
you're her own daughter.

And I don't think
you want to throw away

a friendship like that.

I can't believe
you're taking her side.

Sweetheart, it is not
a question of sides.

It's a question of doing
the grown-up thing.

I know this is not a lecture,
but is it over?

I guess.

Thank you.

Well, next time I'll just
stick with the funny faces.

[IN DOPEY VOICE]
What's wrong, Samantha?

I don't know...

This should be plenty.

Hi, Mona. Where you off to?
Bible class?

I am not going
anywhere.

I wouldn't miss this dinner
tonight for all the world.

Yeah? Well, I should make
leftover meat loaf more often.

It's good.
What?

You are going to serve leftover
meat loaf to Ray Charles?

Ray Charles is coming here
for dinner?

Yeah, in about 20 minutes.

I don't believe this!
Why didn't Angela tell me?

Oh, Angela didn't call you
from the office?

No, she didn't!
[GASPS]

That's right,
she told me to.

Well, isn't this better?

A phone is so
impersonal.

Mona! I could k*ll you, Mona.

Tony, I had a million
things to do.

Look, I had to get
my nails done.

I had to rent a piano today.

And do you know how hard it is
to find a gardenia

this time of year?

No jury in the land
would convict me.

Come here!

[♪♪♪]

[PANTING]

Can I help?
No, you might get hurt.

Let me know
when he gets here.

[DOORBELL RINGS]
He's here.

[WHIMPERS]

Well, it seems like
Tony has everything

under control
in the kitchen.

Can I get it?
Of course you can, sweetheart.

Uh, Sam, are you okay?

Hello.
Hi, Mr. Charles.

Oh, hi, there.
And, uh, who are you?

I'm my mother's son.

Oh, well,
what a coincidence.

So am I.

[ALL LAUGH]

Uh, this is Dave Hunt,

my driver and all-around
good guy.

And this is Angela Bower.

Hello.
It's a pleasure.

Well, I'll see you later.
Okay.

Oh, well, you're welcome
to join us.

Do you have cable TV?

No.
Compact disc?

No.
Hot tub?

No.

I'll wait in the limo.

[LAUGHS]
Hey, hey, hey.

What it is,
Brother Ray!

Hey, there she is.
Yeah.

You remember
Sister Mona.

Yeah, who could forget?

[LAUGHS]

All right,
you come with me.

All right.
Come over here and sit down.

RAY: Okay.
ANGELA: Oh, Ray,

there is--
Come right here.

There is someone else
I'd like you to meet.

All right.
This is my housekeeper

and all-around good guy,
Tony Micelli.

Hello, Ray.
Hi, Tony.

Oh, boy, I am a big fan
of yours.

A big-- I mean,
you know,

we've spent a lot of romantic
evenings together.

You mean,
just the two of us?

[BOTH LAUGH]

Well, only when
I struck out.

[LAUGHING]

Well, I never had
that problem.

Ray, there's someone else
I'd like for you to meet.

This is Samantha,
Tony's daughter.

Hi.
Oh. Hi, there.

It's nice to meet
the lady behind the song.

I'll bet you it makes you
feel pretty good, huh?

Yeah.
Mm-hmm.

Well, what do you say?
How about a drink?

Make it a double.

I was talking to Ray.

Oh, no.
No, thank you.

I promised Dave
I'd drive back tonight.

I got you.

[MONA LAUGHS]

Mr. Charles,
would you sign my album?

Oh, sure.
Which album is it?

Well, actually,
it's not one of yours.

It's Simon
the Singing Whale.

But he does
"Georgia On My Mind."

Hey, Ray,
it's a great rendition.

You know, Simon is one of the
great blues whales of all time.

You get that?
Oh, yeah.

Well, I-- I'm sure
I can't compete with him,

but I can try.

Would you like to hear
my arrangement

of "Always a Friend"?

Yeah!
Oh, yes.

All right, show me
that baby grand.

Oh! Oh!

I could sing along.

No, you couldn't.

[PLAYING NOTES]

♪ You are always
A friend ♪

♪ Someone I can talk to ♪

♪ Always a friend ♪

♪ Someone I can
Always turn to ♪

♪ Time and again ♪

♪ When it seems as if
My whole world ♪

♪ Is caving in ♪

♪ You are always
A friend ♪

♪ Someone I can
Believe in ♪

♪ Always a friend ♪

♪ Someone I've been
Needing so ♪

♪ I don't know when ♪

♪ A shoulder
I can lean on ♪

♪ Every now and then ♪

♪ We've been friends ♪

♪ From the beginning ♪

♪ I love the way you always
Smile at me ♪

♪ Oh, can't you see ♪

♪ I'm winning ♪

♪ Now my only wish ♪

♪ Is that someday
I will be ♪

♪ Always a friend ♪

♪ Someone who will always
Love you ♪

♪ Always a friend ♪

♪ Someone who'll be
Worthy of you ♪

♪ Right from the start ♪

♪ You and me together ♪

♪ The two of us forever ♪

♪ I see in you the love ♪

♪ I wish you could
See in me ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Let it be ♪

♪ Always your friend ♪

♪ Let me be
Always your friend ♪

TONY:
Oh, Ray, that was great!

Whoo!

Ray, that was just--
Just beautiful.

But I'm afraid we won't
be able to use the song.

Oh, honey,
I can do it better.

[LAUGHS]
No!

No, no, it's--
It's not you.

It's just that it's a little
too painful for Samantha.

Uh, how's that?

It reminds me of someone
I care about very much.

Yeah, it's the boy
who wrote the song--

No, Angela.

Not him.

You.

Me?

You've been a real friend to me,

and I said some really bad
things before.

I'm sorry.

It's okay, it's okay.
It's okay,

I know you didn't mean it.

Oh, no, I really didn't.
I was just so mad at Chad.

I know, I know.

I want you
to use the song.

No, it's okay,
I really can do without it.

No, it's important to you,
and I want you to use it.

Really, I can find
another one.

Angela, use the song.

Are you sure?

She's sure.

Hey, Ray, what do you say,
how about an encore?

Hey, what about if I play
something I wrote myself?

Sounds good to me, huh?
Okay, here we go.

A one, a two,
and a one, two, three, four...

five and a six and a seven,
eight nine...

Isn't-- Isn't that how
you do it, Ray?

Yeah, but I just wanted to see
how high you can count.

[PLAYING "HALLELUJAH,
I LOVE HER SO"]

[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]

TONY:
Oh, yeah!

♪ Let me tell you
About a girl I know ♪

♪ She is my baby
And he she lives next door ♪

♪ Every morning
Before the sun comes up ♪

♪ She brings my coffee
In my favorite cup ♪

♪ That's why I know
Whoa, I know ♪

♪ Hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

♪ When I'm in trouble
And I have no friends ♪

Yeah!
♪ I know she'll go with me ♪

♪ Until the end ♪

♪ Everybody asks me
"How I know?" ♪

TONY:
Yeah? What do you say?

♪ I smile at them
And say she told me so ♪

♪ I know, oh, Lord ♪

♪ Hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

♪ Now if I call her
On the telephone ♪

Yeah? What do you say?

♪ And tell her
That I'm all alone ♪

What happens next?

♪ By the time I count
From one to four ♪

Where is she?

♪ I hear her on my door ♪
[TAPPING]

♪ In the evening
When the sun goes down ♪

♪ When there is nobody
Else around ♪

♪ She kisses me
And she hold me tight ♪

TONY:
Yeah, yeah.

♪ And tell me
Daddy, everything's all right ♪

♪ That's why I know
Whoa, I know ♪

♪ Hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

♪ Oh, hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

♪ Whoa, hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

♪ One more time ♪

♪ Hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

Whoo!

[EXCLAIMING]

♪ They say... ♪

Whew.

Pretty good, huh?

Mmm.
[LAUGHS]

You know, Ray, I never get tired
of listening to your stuff.

Yeah, neither do I, babe.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Ah.

Let me think here.

What's the first time
I heard this song?

Let's see...
was it Annie?

[LAUGHS]

No, no, wait, wait.
No, I think it was Cindy.

Yeah.

No, it was Tracey.

Uh-huh.

Thank you, Ray.

Hey, you got it, brother.
Anytime.

♪ When the sun goes down ♪

♪ When there ain't
Nobody else around ♪

♪ She kisses me
She hold me tight ♪

TONY:
Yeah, yeah.

RAY:
♪ And tell me, Daddy
everything's all right ♪

♪ That's why I know
Whoa, I know ♪

♪ Hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

♪ Oh, hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

♪ Whoa, hallelujah
I just love her so ♪

♪ One more time ♪

♪ Hallelujah
I just love her so ♪