02x24 - The Unnatural

[bunniefuu]

♪ There is more to life
than what you're living

♪ So take a chance
and face the wind

♪ An open road
and a road that's hidden

♪ Brand new life
around the bend

♪ There were times
I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail
and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take
and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you
my friend

♪ Nights are long
but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life
around the bend ♪

-There. How's that, hmm?
-Oh, great.

It's too short.

Dad, you didn't even look.

I don't have to.
I know the seamstress.

ANGELA: Hello!

Oh, is it moose
season already?

In here, Mom.

Hi, everybody.
Guess what?

-I've got a...
-Surprise!

Hey, Tony!

Josh! Josh,
what do you say, buddy?

-Josh Brady!
- Yeah.

Do you know who that is?

Josh Brady?

Mona, he's only the best
second baseman that ever
played in the Majors.

Oh, next to you, Dad.

Dad? Don't tell me
this is your little girl, huh?

Yeah, she's a beauty,
isn't she?

Oh, she sure is.

Boy, she must have
her mother's looks.

-Yeah, but I got
my dad's slide into second.

Well, you can work on that.

Hey!

Josh, this is my son, Jonathan
and my mother, Mona Robinson.

-Hello.

Hello, very nice to meet you.

Why is it that you never
bring home surprises
like this for me?

Isn't this fun?

Just like This is Your Life.

Yeah, yeah.
Hey, wait a minute.

Josh, what are you two...
How did you two...

Angela, you hanging out
in singles bars?

No.

The agency just hired Josh
to be the national spokesman
for Scamp aftershave.

Yeah look, uh...

If you want to pick up
a tr*mp, use Scamp.

Let's leave the slogans
to Angela, huh?

It's going to be fabulous.
We're doing a total
media blitz.

Yeah? Well, that's good,
because this won't be
the first time

I've seen this guy
totally blitzed.

-Ah, let's see, let's see...

-There was St. Louis.
Oh, oh, Chicago.
-Oh, gosh.

Oh yeah, yeah.
Don't forget Atlanta.

I wouldn't.
Ooh, I couldn't.

What happened there, Dad?

I forget.

Tony, Tony, is this the guy
that was with you and
the triplets from Budapest?

Copenhagen.

So, Tony, you play
any ball anymore?

Nah, just a little
sandlot stuff.

-And he coaches
my softball team.
-JOSH: Oh.

Yeah, they were third
in the league last year.

-SAM: Yeah.
-Hey, that's great.

-You know, I coach a softball
team myself back home.
-You do?

-We won our division.

So, Josh, what are you saying?

I'm not saying anything.

You're not saying anything?

I think you're saying that
you think you're a better
coach than me now.

Oh, Tony, don't be
so competitive.

Josh didn't mean
he was a better coach.

Well, that's what
it sounded like to me.

Hey, even if I am,
there's no way to prove it.

Yeah, you're darn right.

How about a week
from next Saturday?

-You got it.
-All right...

What? What are you
talking about?

Talking about a little
pick-up game
between Josh and me.

Oh, I think that's disgusting.

You're going to have
a contest to see who can
pick up the most women?

No, Angela, baseball.

They'll each
put together a team...

-Uh, non-pros of course.
-Of course.

And Tony, I think
we ought to make this co-ed.

Hey, that's a good idea, Josh.

I'll tell you what,
three women on each team.

Non-pros, of course.

Okay, guys. You'll each
have a week to
whip your team into shape

and then,
may the best coach win.

-That's you, Dad.
Don't worry.
-Oh, thank you, sweetie.

Don't you ever say that.

-Oh, hi, you two.
-Hello, Angela.

Yeah, hi.

All right, Doc, look,
let's go over a couple of them
signs I showed you, okay?

All right, now,
what does this mean?

-Bunt, right?
-Oh! Bingo!

All right,
what's this now, ready?

Steal.

Oh! Two for two, Doc.
All right.

All right,
what's this one now?

DR. FERGUSON: Um...

You can't find your wallet?

No, Angela, it's hit and run.

Oh, well, wouldn't this
be better for hit and run?

Yeah, if we were
playing Helen Keller.

-I've got to go, Tony.
-Now, wait a minute, Doc.
Wait a minute.

We gotta sit here and think
who's going to be
the other girl on our team.

We need another woman.
Come on. Think.

-Well,
I got to be going, Tony.

Tony, come on,
give me a chance.

Nobody ever let me play
when I was a kid.

Well then, you're probably
used to it by now.

Tony, wait, wait,
wait a minute.

Now, I know I'm not
the most coordinated
person in the world,

but if somebody took
the time to coach me,
I could come through.

I know I could.

-Fine.

You're not a good
enough coach.

I guess I'll just
go through
the rest of my life

never knowing
what it was like
to be part of a team.

Thanks a lot, Angela.
Thank you.

Angela, this is a very
important game to me

and I don't think
you'd like baseball.

You know,
we play it in the dirt
and you get all sweaty,

and those hats,
they leave weird dents
in your hair.

I guess you know best.

All right.
You can play!

Well, if you really need me...

Coach.

That's two.

Here you go. Come on. Come on.

Wait, Tony, I think
you gave me the wrong glove.

This is left-handed.

No, Angela, this goes
on your left hand.

You throw with your right
and you catch with your left.

Oh, I see. I guess
that keeps the game moving.

-Well, you know baseball.
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
-Right.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

Let's start, let's start with
a little batting practice.

Let me see your stance.

Let me see your stance.

Take the bat.

Take the bat
and get ready to hit. Come on.

That's a good start.

That's a good start,
but you're trying to hit
a softball not a burglar.

Oh, that's funny!

Dad, what's going on?

Angela's gonna take
some batting practice.

Mom's batting?

Yeah, yeah
and I'll tell you what.
You can do me a favor.

Go down to the end
of the driveway and
shag some ba*ls for us.

It goes on
the left hand, sweetheart.

Okay, but I'll need
my book, too.

It might be a long time
before she hits one.

Thank you, darling,
for the vote of confidence.

Hey, Sam, do me a favor.

You pitch so I can get
a load of Angela's swing.

Dad, do you think
this is a good idea?

I mean, she might break
a window at the Hayburns.

The Hayburns all the way
across the street?

Batter up.
Come on, let's go.

Oh, I guess that would be me.

Okay, here we go, you ready?

Pitch it in, Sam.
There we go.

-Hey, h*.

Okay, okay, okay.

Take it easy, relax,
concentrate, okay,
eye on the ball.

Here we go.
All right, here we go, Sam.

Hey, here we go.
Let's go, everybody.
Here we go. Hey!

Sam, could you
throw that a little slower?

She could, Angela,
she could, but then we'd
have to call this bowling.

Here we go, hey, all right,
hey, here we go now.

I wasn't ready.

All right.
Now, look, now look,
take it easy, relax.

-Nobody's putting
any pressure on you, right?
-Right.

Would you hit this ball?

Would you hit it, please?

Dad, are we going
to do this all night?
My arm's getting tired.

Yeah, and it's getting
too dark to read out here.

Tony, Tony, maybe we should
just call it a day.

No, no, we're not quitting
until you hit this ball.

Now I told you, it's easy.

You keep your eye
on the ball, right?

You shift your weight forward,
and you follow through
with your body.

It's so simple,
why can't you do it?

Because you're
making me nervous.

-I'm making you nervous?
-Yes.

You're making me
a little nervous, too.

Now look, if you
want to play on my team,
you've got to learn to hit.

Well, maybe I shouldn't
be on your team.

Ah, maybe that's the solution.
You shouldn't.

Oh, well, maybe
it is the solution.

Whoa, whoa.
What is this, huh?

A little dissension
in the dugout?

Hey, hey, hey, Josh.
Stay out of this, please, huh?

It's between me
and the slugger.

He doesn't think
I can learn to hit.

Aw, heck, anybody
can learn to hit a ball
with the right coaching.

Here. Let me show you how.

Look, come here.

-Just hold it up like this.
-Okay...

There you go.

Now keep your eye on the ball,

move that weight forward,
and follow through
with the body.

Why didn't you tell me that?

I did!

Well, it's all in
the technique.

Come on, Sam,
toss one in here, huh?

SAM: Okay.

Oh, oh, oh!
Did you see it?

Did you see it?
Did you see it?
Did you see that go?

I noticed.

We'd better get inside
before the sonic boom hits.

Oh!

Hey, uh, Angela,
if you're not going to
play on Tony's team,

maybe you'd like
to come play on mine?

Why, yes. I think
I'd like that just fine.

Yeah, it's great.
What kind of pitch
was that, Sam?

You hung a meatball right
over the middle of the plate!

Oh, I'd like to...

-Hey, big guy.
-Hey, Mona,
get a load of this.

Huh? I made one of these
for everybody on the team.

Tony's Tigers.

That's great!

Ah, you see, Mona,
this is the kind of thing
that pulls a team together.

-It'll give us that little
psychological edge.

-It's gonna be so important.
I'm telling you.
MONA: Yeah.

-Yeah, I got it, I got it.

Hey, you like them?

I got one for
everybody on the team.

Hiya, Josh.

Nice of you
to drop by and show off.

But it's too bad we're gonna
have to beat these
pants off you tomorrow.

Wow. This game is really
going to be fun, huh?

Well, here I am.

JOSH: Whoa.

Whoa! You're about
the best looking third baseman
I have ever seen.

Does that include
George Brett?

Goodnight, everybody.
See you later.

Don't wait up.

Oh, hey, Angela...

See you.

You call this a uniform?

I saw every city
on the east coast
with his head in the way.

I made it to the Majors
first and I thought
I finally came out on top,

but then I hurt my shoulder.

They called up Josh,
he went on to
fame and fortune.

Oh...

Well, I know
what you mean, Tony.

I had a girlfriend like that
in high school, Gwendolyn.

We competed for everything.

For grades,
cheer-leading, boys.

I really know how it hurts
to come in second best,
time after time after time.

Oh, poor Mona.

Poor Gwendolyn.

Why do I come here?

Okay, team, let's get
this show on the road.

Come on, hey.

One, two, three.

Well, I must say, Angela,
you look like a real jock
in your new uniform.

Thanks.

You know, Tony,
it feels kind of strange...

Well, maybe if you didn't
tuck your shirt in so tight.

No, no, I mean it feels
kind of strange for us
to be on opposite sides.

Uh, yeah, well, look,
I'm sorry that I was so rough
on you in the backyard there.

I got carried away.

Hey, tell you what.

Let's make a pact that
no matter who wins today,
we'll still be friends. Okay?

You got it. I swear.

You're a good kid.

TONY: Oh, there's one.
Yeah!

Let's get two, now.
Let's get two.

Oh!

Hey, Tony!

What? What are you doing?

Doc, why aren't you dressed?
You're late.

Listen, listen, Tony.
I have emergency
surgery, a bypass.

I could be there all day.

Well, well,
can't you wait, Doc?

I can, but I'm not so sure
about the patient.

Yeah, yeah, you're right,
hey, well, a guy's life

is much more important
than this baseball...
How old is he?

Look, I'm really sorry.
Good luck out there.
I hope you k*ll 'em.

Yeah, you too.

Thanks.

Ooh, tough luck,
huh, Tony, huh?

Where are you going
to find another player?

Aw, don't worry
about it, Josh.
I'll ask my grandmother.

She could beat you
without her new hip.

Hey... Ha!

Where am I going
to find another guy?

Hey. Hey, guys,
either of you play ball?

Uh, chess is my game.

Check-mate.

Well, I'm free now.
Can I play second base?

Oh, I don't know.
You know, that throw
at the first is tough.

If I were you,
I'd give him a shot.

Hey, what are you,
some kind of
manager or something?

Off and on.

All right, look,
come on down, pal.
I'll give you a chance.

-Hey, how ya doing?
-Good, good.

-Nice to see you.
-What'd you say your name was?

-Uh, Steve.
-Ah, good.

Steve, you're in great shape.
What do you do?

I'm a musician, yeah. Sax.

TONY: Come on.

All right, guys, let's hit
the field. Let's go, huh, hey.
Yeah! There we go.

Yeah! Whoo!
Hey, babe.

h*, h*! Where do you
want me to stand?

How about right here, huh?

What?

Look, I want you to rest now
so you'll be fresh later.

You'll be my
little secret weapon, huh?

Okay.

All right, thatta girl. Hey.

Hi, kids.

-Mind if I sit here?
-Sorry, that seats saved.

Oh. Well...
Is this seat taken?

I know.
Season ticket holder, right?

Don't tell me.
You're saving this
for a boy scout troop.

If they ever turn
this park around,
I'll be in the front row.

All right, let's play ball.

Hey, come on.
Tony, you all right?

We just need one more out.

I'm fine, I'm fine.
Maybe I'm just
a little tired, that's all.

All right. Who's up?

I don't know.
But I hope it's that girl.

All right.

She looks like an easy out.

Is it time to use
your secret weapon, yet?

-No, not just yet.
-Oh, please.

Look, Angela,
there's two men out.

Now if you went
out there and struck out,
we'd lose this game.

-Sit down.
-Oh, I see.

Well, maybe I'd
better not play at all.

Oh, oh, excuse me.

What'd I just hear?

We said everybody's
got to play, Josh.

Oh, no, Tony,
you don't understand.

I could lose the game
and then I'd be so humiliated.

Oh, I'm very sorry, Angela,
but rules are rules, Josh.

She's got to hit.

Well, thank you.

Oh, Angela,
a word of advice...

Oh, yes, Mother, anything.

Don't blow it.

Okay! Play ball!

-Strike one!

Mother!

Play ball, Angela.

Who's up?

My mom and she's really bad.

Well, maybe you can trade her.

Can you do that?

Well, Steinbrenner's
always looking.

Strike two.

Time, time, time.

-Look, Angela,
that's two strikes, huh?
-Mmm. Uh-huh.

Now, Angela, I don't care
if you strike out, but you
are not going down looking.

What?

If that ball comes over
the plate this time,
you swing at it.

-Okay?
-Okay.

All right.

Let's play ball.

That's it, that's it.
That's a grand slam!

Sixty feet that way,
then hang a left.

Drop the bat and run!

I don't believe it!
My mother beat your dad.

Whoa, yeah.

What is this world coming to?

I'd keep her, kid.

MONA: Go!

Run, baby girl!

That's my girl.

Yeah!
Yeah, baby!

Congratulations.

Yeah, thanks.
Looks like your
strategy backfired huh?

Yeah, I guess you'll always
be one up on me, Josh.

Yeah!

Angela!

Oh, hey. Hey, Angela,
I knew you could do that.

Sure you did.

Tony, Tony, did you see me?

I did it, I did.
Oh, I'm sorry.

That's all right,
that's all right.

Hey, it's your big moment
in the sun.
How's it feel?

Truthfully?
It feels wonderful.

Then you go enjoy it.
Good hit, good hit.

Okay, okay. Thanks.
Thanks a lot.

Dad, what kind
of pitch was that?

-You hung a meatball
right over the plate...
-Shh!

Oh.

-You're a good guy, Dad.
-I know.

TONY: Who's The Boss
will be back in a moment,
stick around.

Steve, Steve, Steve.

Steve, it is really easy
when you know how.

Lean in.
Yeah, that's right.

Now you hold the bat,
keep your eye on the ball.

Shift your weight forward and
follow through with your body.

Oh. Yeah.

Now, I know you can do it.

You can do it.

h*! h*!

See? I told you,
you could do it.

-That's great.

Thanks a lot, coach.
I think I hear
my mother calling.

Oh...

Angela, I think
we're in big trouble.

The Hayburns?
You wish.

-TONY: Angela!
-Oh!

-Did you lose this?
-I don't know.
Where did you find it?

In the front seat of my van.

I think I hear
my mother calling.