02x21 - Guard Your Grill

[bunniefuu]

- And the day I came home

From the hospital with the baby,

I found him in bed with another woman,

Bumpin’ and grindin'.

I’m telling you, oprah, there are no good men.

- Ergh!

- You see that?

I can’t be bought.

- What’s up, baby? Huh?

Your man’s home, girl.

Been watching oprah, huh?

Bam.

I’ma go up in here

And get me a little something to drink.

- Hey, hey. Hey, martin.

- What’s up, dawg?

- What’s up? Look here, man.

I just heard on the radio

About the charity boxing match

You’re supposed to be fighting in.

Why you ain’t tell us?

- Come on, cole.

That’s a fake fight that stan got me into, brother.

I didn’t want to invite you to that, man.

- Bro, I don’t care about the fight, okay?

I just want to see the celebrity judge,

Thomas "the hit man" hearns.

- Oh, whoa, whoa.

Thomas "the hit man" hearns gonna be there?

- Mm.

- Y’all said tommy hearns is gonna be there?

Isn’t he single?

Girl, I got to go get my hair and nails done.

- Pam, wait, we were just discussing how men are no good.

- Oh, damn that, gina!

You got a man.

[Upbeat funky music]

♪

[Bell dinging]

- Ladies and gentlemen!

Thank you for coming to the throwdown in motown.

Yes, and I want you to know

That your money is going to a very worthwhile cause,

Namely stan’s kids.

Stand up, kids.

Here are my kids, right here.

And ladies and gentlemen,

Tonight we have a celebrity judge,

The only six-time world champion in the history of boxing.

Give a hand to thomas "hit man" hearns.

[Cheers and applause]

And now...

Let’s get ready to rumble!

- Gentlemen, you know the rules.

Let’s have a good, clean fight.

- They really think you hate me.

- Punks jump up to get beat down.

- Oh, I get it, yeah.

I want you, dumbo!

I want you!

I want you, dumbo! You’re going down!

[Bell dings]

- How you gonna send a punk to fight, huh?

It’s a man's game, boy!

Get some real champs!

Get on out of here! Huh?

[Bell dinging]

[Crowd cheering]

- [Sobbing]

What’s the matter with you?

This is supposed to be a charity event.

You don’t get it.

You just don’t get it!

- Nah, you don’t get it.

You don’t get it.

Get on home and get you a sandwich.

Huh? I’m a bad man.

I shook up the world. I shook up the world.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

The winner and the only knockout ever

In a charity event,

Martin "raw dog" payne.

- Who you talking to?

[Crowd cheering]

[Crowd booing]

- Now, you know, I was gonna get him out

A little earlier than that,

But, you know, I figured, hey,

I got to hurry up and get home to my baby.

You know, gina, I love you, girl.

You know, we’re not-- we’re not ducking nobody.

We take on all comers.

I’m the cbc champ,

And until somebody change that,

Hey, i’m the man.

You better ax somebody.

You better ax somebody. You better ax somebody.

- Hey, yo, oh, oh!

After-party at the champ’s crib.

- Yeah! - That’s right!

We’ll see you there!

[Crowd cheering]

- Yeah, the champ’s in the house.

Guard your grill. Guard your grill.

- Hey, man. Great fight, man.

- Yeah.

- But i’ve never seen anyone

Hurt like that in a charity event, though.

- Well, maybe you don’t know,

But I can go, I can go, I can flow toe to toe.

You better ax somebody.

Speaks for itself.

What’s up, now?

All right, thomas hearns, what’s happening?

- What’s happening, brother?

- All right, brother. You are...

- Frankie lyons. - All right, all right.

Well, thomas hearns,

I guess real champs hang together, huh, bro?

- What do you mean?

- This is my party, man.

Yeah, yeah, you chillin’ in the champ’s apartment,

The cbc champ, yeah.

I know you saw my fight,

So don’t act like you don’t know me.

They call me "raw dog."

Yaka-yaka-yaka.

[Barking]

Raw dog!

- I’m sorry, man. I wasn’t watching.

I was too busy checking out that fine honey over there.

Mm!

- Who, gina?

- You know her?

She rode back in the limo with us.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know her, man.

That’s my woman.

- That’s your lady?

- Yeah.

- [Laughs] that’s the little man's lady.

What is he gonna do with a woman like that?

What is he gonna do, huh?

- Hey.

Hey, what’s up, champ?

What’s up, baby?

What?

- Let me think a minute.

Tommy hearns is not giving me my props, gina.

The man won’t acknowledge my skills, gina.

He won’t acknowledge the skills, huh?

He acting like I can’t stomp with the big dogs.

- Martin, come here, baby. Come here.

Baby, he’s a professional fighter, okay?

- Oh, I forgot.

You like real fighters, huh, gina?

- What? - Yeah, yeah.

Well, let me switch this.

Let me switch it.

What you doing riding in a limo

With thomas hearns, huh?

What’s up with that, huh?

- Pam was with me.

We were showing him how to get here.

- I am the cbc champ, okay? - Yes, I know.

- The charity boxing champ, okay?

Damn tommy hearns. - Shh-shh-shh.

- He ain’t the champ.

Down with tommy hearns.

- Gina, we’re about to leave, go to another party.

You want to roll with us?

- Tommy, I don’t know if you heard me a while ago, brother,

But this is my woman.

She won’t be rollin' nowhere, brah.

- Excuse me, little man,

Wasn’t nobody talking to you, okay?

- Hold it, hold it.

No, thank you.

I’m gonna stay right here, but thank you.

- Sure, gina?

You know, you can roll with us, baby.

We’ll take good care of you, baby; i’m serious.

- [Indistinct speech]

- Take care.

See you later.

- Oh, he gonna throw a kiss at you?

No, he just threw a kiss.

Wait.

So, thomas,

You ain’t gonna give me my props, huh?

Well, maybe you’ll acknowledge my skills when I kick your a*s.

- Say what?

- You heard me.

Yeah, they call you "the hit man."

Well, I got a call from sugar.

He calls you the "get hit man."

Hear me and hear me good.

Two weeks from today,

I go ten rounds with thomas "the hit man" hearns.

What?

The brawl for it all.

Y’all can go back to mingling.

All right, raw dog has spoken.

Ahh!

Oh! Oh, man!

My big mouth done finally got me in trouble.

I never tripped like that before, man.

I challenged a professional fighter--

No, no, correction.

I challenged tommy "hit man" hearns

To ten rounds, man!

Ouch. Ouch.

Ah-oh!

Oh! Ah-hoo!

It hurts already, tommy, cole.

- What are you worried about, man?

He ain’t gonna hang around for you.

Brother, brother, look.

He is a professional fighter.

He got better things to do with his time.

- But, martin, besides, he left town.

- How you know that?

- I seen him get on the plane this morning, man.

- You sure? - Uh, yeah.

:, Brah. Word is bond.

Zhooo.

- Pa-dow! Ha-ha.

I was gonna whup him anyway.

I was gonna flow toe to toe

Down the pike on tommy.

You know what i’m saying? Don’t play me.

- ’Cause you're the raw dog.

- What’s my name? - Raw dog.

- What’s my name? - Hey, raw dog?

- Raw dog. - The fight’s off, raw dog.

- Thank you.

- Hey, hey, no. No, no, man.

There’ll be a lot of mad people there if there’s no fight.

I mean, miles and them done already spent

All their bingo money.

So if you don’t show up, brah, you...

You gonna look like a punk.

- I’m gonna look like a punk?

- Straight up.

- No, no. No, no.

You know why?

’Cause I'ma show up, in shape and ready.

You see, tommy hearns is the one who’s not gonna show up,

Because he don’t have time.

Then he’s gonna look like a what?

A punk.

Now, check this out.

I just hire a fighter from the gym

To fight me and take a dive.

Simple.

- Boom, there it is, then.

Let’s get to training, brah.

Come on. Roll with the left.

Come on, flay with the right.

Come on! Hey-hey!

[Intense hip-hop music]

- There you go.

- Go, go, go, go!

- ♪ I give nothing but a beat

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- ♪ I give nothing but a beat

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- ♪ Give nothing but a beat

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- Five!

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- ♪ Give nothing but a beat

- ♪ One day when I was riding on the train ♪

♪ I seen these two kids talkin’ ♪

♪ About the nubian reign had fallen ♪

♪ I didn’t say nothing 'cause these kids caught my goat ♪

♪ Even wore my coat like a m*rder that they wrote ♪

♪ So this kid with mouth swagger ♪

♪ And i’ll blaze the cloak and dagger ♪

♪ So I gots to show dukes the macho lot that I am ♪

- Time!

- Yeah! Yeah!

- ♪ And bad men wear black

♪ And if it comes to droppin’ bombs ♪

♪ Yo, i’m with that ♪

♪ Check it out now

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- Time!

All right, all right!

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- Look, cole, i’m not gonna tell you again, man!

What are you doing?

- ♪ I give nothing but a beat down ♪

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- ♪ Lord jamar will live long

♪ ’Cause I give strong blows to the heads of my foes ♪

♪ Dread flows

♪ Gives me power as it grows

- Okay, get up. Come on, get up now.

Get up. Let’s go.

- ♪ And hell will be your home

♪ Lord jamar, sadat

♪ As we swell your dome

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- Work it!

- ♪ Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- ♪ I give nothing but a beat down ♪

- That-a-boy. That-a-boy.

Go.

Time!

Water!

- Punks jump up to get beat down ♪

- Here you go, champ.

Ah, yeah.

There you go.

All right, here we go.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to the brawl for it all.

I’m talking about the challenge match

Between martin "raw dawg" payne

And this asiatic brother over here,

Nam kingee.

- You’re too slow.

You don’t have the reach.

Come on, man, you can’t whup me.

You better ax somebody.

I’m too pretty.

I’m a bad man.

Ha, boy, you better go on about your business.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What’s going on on the other side?

It looks like thomas hearn.

- Why your expression change?

’Cause what I'm about to do to him?

- It is thomas hearn.

Well, my goodness sakes.

This is gonna happen

Just the way we thought it was going to.

- What’s up, bro? Huh?

- I thought you said you saw tommy hearns getting on a plane.

- Oh, I guess he was getting off the plane.

My bad.

- Ain’t that something?

- Let’s have a good fight.

- How you doing?

What are you doing here?

- I come to get my a*s kicked.

- Oh.

You know when I had said about, like, you’re the "get hit man"?

You have always been the hit man,

And ain’t no one gonna take that away from you.

I love gina, and I did it for her.

Please, tommy, don’t walk away.

- Martin, martin.

- Tell tommy don’t walk away.

- Martin. - Huh?

- Look, if you want to punk out right now,

Go ahead, man,

Because sometimes it takes a big man

To run like a little girl.

- Baby, baby, please.

This is crazy. Let’s just go home, okay?

Please?

- You don’t have to do this.

Man, he’s gonna k*ll you.

- Uh, brah, you ain’t gonna make it, okay?

So what i’ma do is go ahead and back the pacer around.

We just run.

- Come on, man, get up.

Let’s fight. Come on.

- Let me say my prayers.

- Oh, god!

- Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the lord my soul to keep.

[Blubbering]

Because I thought tommy be leaving.

- I know.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

- Oh, baby...

Look, in my bank account I got $.

- All right, here we go.

The six-time world champion thomas hearns against payne,

Who slips, falls down, whatever.

He’s looking a little confused at this.

He may have been a little overmatched

At this little altercation that’s about to take place.

He’s on a footrace now.

I can’t believe what he’s doing.

The referee’s trying to get out of the way.

Payne back in the way.

Hearns starts to open up with some rights and lefts.

Payne takes it.

A shot to the right of the side of the head.

Payne again goes down.

Now he thinks he’s antonio inoki,

Doing the crab leg.

Crawl down there on the bottom of the ring.

What is going on here?

- Why he keep working?

- And he now has a few words with the referee,

Backs away from a left hand.

Hearns leading with that left,

Throws a couple of lefts.

Payne now comes in with a left of his own

And another right and a left to the midsection.

Hearns just stays in the corner.

Hearns just waiting to look for his opening.

A cuff to the side of the head.

- Give me a bucket of fried,

Two chitlins,

And a bowl of sunflower seeds.

- Stop laughing.

- He’s delirious.

- Payne a little rocky right now.

He’s taken a few blows in the early moments.

In fact, he’s so confused,

He’s now going after the referee.

That’s not the guy. Look out.

That’s the guy you want to fight.

Again it is hearns leading with the left hand,

And trying to sneak in with a left hand is payne.

-Pound martin payne

Against the six-time world champion

Thomas "the hit man" hearns.

Down goes payne again.

That’s the third time he’s hit the canvas.

Where did everybody go?

Somebody get the license number of that truck.

I hear a phone ringing somewhere.

But he’s game. He’s staying in there.

Mild flurry of punches inside.

- Come on, martin! Let’s go!

- Payne staggering around.

Help has got to be on the way.

Hearns lets a few go.

The referee’s gonna try and break that up.

Staggered against the ropes is martin payne,

Figuring, "how did I get into this mess?"

Ooh.

Oops.

Oops.

And payne goes in and outside the ring.

He’s still on his feet, I think.

He’s got a few supporters here.

I’ll say that for him.

Wobbly, he’s still in there.

Hearns just toying with payne now.

Payne begins to come back.

Payne begins to throw a few punches now.

Where’d he get this struggle?

Where’d he get this strength?

He thinks he’s won the fight.

Hearns, meanwhile, resting against the corner.

- I got him, gina. I got him.

I caught him, baby!

- I love you, baby!

- Huh? I love you.

- [Slowly] oh, no...

- Uh-oh.

This could hurt.

[Loud crash]

- Tommy!

Hey, man.

Little man didn’t give up.

- Yeah, you got a lot of heart, little man.

Got a lot of heart.

- Gina...

- Yes, baby, i’m here.

- I don’t want to fight no more.

- I know, baby. I know.

But the fight is over, baby. It’s over.

- I don’t want to fight no more.

- Baby, I love you.

- No.

I love you.

- I love you too.

- No, I know, but...

I don’t want to fight no more.

- Hey, baby.

Baby, come on out.

It’s okay. It’s only me and you.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, martin, i’m sure.

- Is the swelling going down?

- Yeah, way down.

Yeah.

Shrunk a little.

- Okay.

You know it’s 'cause of you i’m in this, right?

That’s why this happened.

You riding in limos and stuff.

- I’m sorry. - I know, I know.

You love me?

- Yeah, I love you.

- [Laughing]

Can I have a kiss?

Yeah.

I understand.

- Oh, baby, i’m just playing with you.

- You love me?

- Yes, I love you.

- My baby love me.

My baby love me.