02x14 - Whoop There It Ain't

[bunniefuu]

♪ Martin ♪

How y'all been? ♪ Martin

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

Gina's lookin' good, man.

Oh-oh...

Oh, da da da da!

No, no, see, see.

She's wearing the dress.

She knows what that dress does to me.

Tommy, cole, gina just paged me .

Excuse me!

Ooh, girl, you--

I'm telling you, girl, look at you,

Looking as good as you want to look.

Martin. Martin. This is mr. Berry.

Hello, martin. Archibald berry.

Hello, archibald berry. How you doing?

Uh, mr. Berry-- archibald can I call you?

Some of your boys from accounting was over there

Talking trash about you.

Yeah, "mr. Berry this, mr. Berry that."

Thank you, martin.

Looks like I'm going to have to go handle my business.

Go ahead, berry. Go ahead, berry!

Girl, this dress...

Baby, I gots to have you.

Martin, cut it out, o.k.? I have guests.

I gots to have you.

You know what this dress does to me!

You know what that does to me. That's my sweet spot.

Thank you, martin.

I put accounting in check.

So, anyway,

As I was saying...

I stopped listening to pop music

When elvis died.

For me, he was then, and remains still the king.

Right.

Oh, that's-- that's nice.

That's really nice.

Yeah, yeah, me, too.

You, too what?

Oh, nothing. I was just agreeing with everything you're saying.

Oh, I like that.

Keep it up.

So, anyway, as I was saying,

There's a filing revolution out there.

Is itmoi?

'Cause I was just going to say,

We could go to my hotel

If you want to get busy or something.

Uh, uh, uh, excuse me, robin hood, o.k.?

But I think you looking for the merry men.

I ain't in here. Excuse me.

Whatever. Don't knock what you ain't never had.

Look at your little golden brown self.

Be gone!

Excuse me, mr. Berry, please.

Martin, you have got to cut this out right now!

Baby, baby, gina, we'll only be gone five minutes.

They won't even know.

I, for one, never use a laser printer

Without protective goggles.

You know what?

I could use a little break.

You mean that?

Boy, don't back out on me now!

I want my five minutes!

No, tonight I'm going for the record--six.

Bite right here?

Not right now.

Well, just flow with it.

Boom, boom, boom. Roll!

She's just going to use you, golden brown.

So who y'all here with?

Girl, girl, girl, girl, girl.

Party was nice.

You know...

You two really disgust me.

Ditching your own party for a quickie?

You heard us!

You were the one.

Wait, wait, wait.

Pam, we are in love.

That's what people in love do for one another.

Love?

Please. That was not love.

That--that was sex!

Pam, please don't start with that again. Damn!

Pam, what is the difference?

Love, sex, it's all mixed up in there together.

That's all. You know what I'm saying, tommy?

She all confused about it.

Excuse me, martin,

Um...you do know the difference, don't you?

Course I know the difference, gina. We had a good night.

Now, don't start that.

What's the difference, martin?

Are y'all trying to back me into a corner?

Fine. Fine. You don't scare me.

I tell you the difference.

I break it down for you.

Cole, tell them the difference.

"Love"..."Love" has four letters,

And, um... "Sex" has three.

Tommy, it's on you.

O.k.

Come on, man.

I'll tell you what love is.

Love is sharing...

Caring, commitment.

Preach on, tommy.

Love is two souls joined together as one.

School your boys.

Love is flowers for no reason.

Love is telling her all the things she wants to hear...

Until...

You get the drawers!

Yeah, tommy.

Boy, I'm going to tell you.

You scared me for a minute, man,

But you came strong at the end, though.

See that, gina?

All men do is think with their private parts.

With their martin juniors and their tommy juniors

And their cole junior juniors.

Martin, is that what you think?

Um, gina,

Look, w-wait a minute, baby.

Now, let's turn this around.

Now, there are times when you want it and I don't.

I mean, gina, there are times

When i-- when I feel used,

When I feel like a piece of meat.

No. You're going to hear me.

There are times when I feel just a little bit...

Violated.

Very funny, martin.

I saw that on a soap opera.

You all are pitiful.

You all disgust me.

What about you, pam?

Whose body gets the shivers

Whenever someone mentions the name denzel?

[Shivering]

Aha! Aha!

Denzel.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Look. Now, see? Is that love?

No. That's sex. S-e-x. Sex.

You don't want to hug denzel.

You want to be up in here with yours with denzel.

I do not.

Yes, you do.

I do not, o.k.?

I love that man.

Yeah, right.

Sure. Yeah, right.

Come on, baby. No, no.

What gina and I have is love.

You're looking for that, aren't you?

Please.

Love? Please.

O.k., O.k.

Let's see you go without sex for two weeks.

Then we'll see how much love you're talking about.

Two weeks?

Ahem.

Two weeks?

Two.

Well, cool. I'm cool with that.

That ain't nothing.

I can do that.

Gina's the one who can't handle it.

Once I drop the shirt,

Gina's going to be all over me.

That is straight up.

Excuse me, martin.

I can go two weeks without sex.

You're the one who can't.

See? Now you're going to start showing off.

No, you're showing off.

Two weeks is nothing.

When do we start?

We'll start now.

Start at midnight.

Bam!

Is that time right?

Yes, it is.

:.

Mm-hmm.

:.

Everybody out!

Get out!

Get your coat and everybody out.

We're wasting time.

Come on, get going!

Go on.

We're wasting time.

So, martin.

Yeah? Yeah?

Seven days to go. Think you can make it?

Oh, please.

Oh, I can make it, gina.

As a matter of fact, I'm thinking about going another month.

Right now I'm in shape.

I'm in control.

I'm a man at peace, you know?

I know what you mean.

I've never felt so rested, so serene.

Well, good for you.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, gina?

You got the baby toe on me.

Uh-huh.

And part of your a*s is on me, o.k.?

I guess I should move it.

Uh, u-u-unless you, uh, you giving in.

And if you are, I can understand,

I mean, me being so fine and all, you know.

No, I am not giving in.

My foot just fell over there.

Looks like you're the one who can't handle it, baby.

Please. I can handle it, o.k.?

You're always on this side.

All I'm saying is stay on your side of the bed, please.

And what's that supposed to mean?

I'll tell you what it means, gina.

O.k.?

You ain't got no bed manners, o.k.?

You go to sleep over there and wake up on me.

You got my head between the nightstand and the damn bed.

You got me down here smelling old raisins, o.k.?

Excuse me.

Please.

Now, enough is enough already.

The only reason I'm on your side of the bed

Is because you steal all the covers.

You got them all now.

I'm freezing my butt off.

Give me some covers.

I will give you covers when you get back across the border.

Head to the border.

♪ Head to the border ♪♪

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. Fine. Fine.

No. It's right here.

Oh, you're going to give me some covers.

Gina!

Oh!

Martin!

Martin!

You got an ice pack.

You got an ice pack, martin.

You got an ice pack.

That's cheating.

I pulled a thigh muscle.

You pulled a thigh muscle.

I'm sure you did.

I ain't got to take this.

I'm going to sleep on the couch, all right?

Fine. Sleep on the couch.

I don't care.

Gina, gina.

Please.

Don't break.

You can beat the ice, girl.

If you break, you'll prove you can't live without sex.

I can't!

I'm not like you.

Did you have to go there?

Oh, I'm sorry, pam.

But for real, how do you do it?

I don't know.

I have hobbies to keep my mind off of sex, like...

Horseback riding

And exercising on my pogo stick...

And cooking with cucumbers.

I'm going to see my man.

Gina! Gina!

Don't give in.

I am not giving in.

Did I say I was giving in? No.

I'm going to make martin give in.

Well, I'm leaving.

I'm going home to do my laundry.

And if you need me,

I'll be sitting on top of the washing machine...

For a while.

Tommy, I can't take it no more.

Ooh.

It's--

The ice ain't working, brother.

It's making things numb down there.

Let me get to gina.

Aah!

No, martin. No!

I got to call gina.

Don't call her.

You can beat gina, martin, o.k.?

If you call her now, you know what she'll think?

She's going to think that all men want is sex,

Which is true, but we got to keep that lie alive.

Keep the lie alive!

But y'all don't know, man.

Y'all--ay-ay-ay.

Y'all don't know, man.

Martin, martin.

Martin, look.

All you got to do is hold out

One second longer than gina.

See, cole's right.

You have to get to her before she gets to you.

Yeah.

Just trying--

You know what--

That's right.

Let it out.

Let it out.

Yeah!

All right.

There it is.

It's out.

Whoo!

That's good.

You know what? Y'all are my fellas.

Now I know I got to break her down.

You know? I got to make gina want me.

That's what I'm here for.

It's all on you, brother.

Keep the lie alive.

Keep the lie alive.

Keep the lie alive.

Keep the lie alive.

Keep the lie alive.

Keep it alive.

Hey, I'm straight. I'm straight.

Keep the lie alive.

Lights.

Yeah, o.k.

[Sexy music plays]

♪ Well ♪

♪ Well, well, well ♪

♪ Oo-oo-oo-oo ♪

♪ We-ell ♪

♪ We-ell ♪

♪ Drifting on... ♪

[Knock on door]

♪ Ain't no place I'd rather be ♪

♪ Than with you ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Loving you... ♪

♪ Well, well, well ♪♪

Aah! Oh!

, , ...

You want to play like that, huh, gina?

O.k., Here we go.

Here we go.

Oil gets to them.

That's right, oil gets to them all the time.

O.k.

Put that in there like that.

Hey, what's up, gina?

I didn't know you was coming.

I was just out jogging.

I thought I'd stop by.

Ahem.

Um, martin.

Yeah?

What are you doing in your robe

With, um, candles and soft music

And champagne?

I know it seems a little bit crazy.

But I started thinking, hey,

I got to learn to do things for myself.

You know? Make me happy.

Right, right.

I've been working out,

And I don't know if the push-ups are working.

They don't seem like they're moving fast enough.

Would you tell me if they were?

Boom, uh, boom,

Is it on the right? Is it on the left?

Is the abs there, gina?

Is the abs there, gina?

What about the back?

The back all right?

They say the back is supposed to be important,

Especially if you're here, gina,

And you're like this.

Like this...

You're like this.

How's the back, gina?

I don't know.

It's all right.

You know, um...

I've been working out a little bit myself, too.

Oh, yeah?

Trying to do some things for me,

And my calves are feeling kind of tight.

Could you massage them for me, martin?

You want me to massage them?

Martin?

Yeah?

Could you massage them, for me?

Sure. I got you.

Thank you.

Martin?

[Sniffing]

[Squeaking]

How does that feel, martin?

Ooh.

Ow! Damn, gina!

Did you shave?

'Cause you're feeling kind of spotty, baby.

I got some gillettes in the bathroom, if you'd like.

I'm going to watch me some tv.

That's fine.

That's what I came over here for.

Well, boom, there it is. It's on.

Yo, go to the left.

[Basketball game]

Martin?

Hmm?

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

I was just looking to see if the stove was on.

Excuse me. I got to get the remote.

Excuse me.

Gina, baby, you got something on your neck.

I do?

Yeah, yeah.

Where? Right here?

Right here.

Uh, right there.

You feel that?

Martin?

Huh? What?

What'd you want to say?

That's my spot, baby.

What?

Baby, that's my spot.

Tell me.

I can't help it if this hand's on your spot.

Martin, baby.

Baby, wait, wait, wait.

There's nothing left to be said.

We got to stop.

No. Stop.

No, martin, no.

Gina, damn it. O.k., Baby?

Listen, don't give up. You know you want it.

If we give up, pam is right.

There's nothing but sex in our lives. There's no love.

Damn it, gina.

How can you say that?

We both love sex,

So how is there no damn love?

That's true.

That's true.

Because, martin, we like things other than sex.

That's right, girl.

Huh, what you want to do?

We--we like movies.

We like movies.

Tv.

Tv.

♪ Martin ♪♪

Uh, uh, uh--

Sports.

Go, pistons, go.

Aha! On the hoop.

Oh, baby.

And twizzlers, baby.

The red kind.

Come here.

What about the opera?

[Sings soprano]

Girl, I'm going to tear this--

Do it right.

Martin. Martin.

I love you.

I love you, girl.

[High pitch] ♪ ah ♪♪