02x04 - Beat It

[bunniefuu]

Put that there.

[Grunting]

O.k.

Ooh...whew!

Thank you, pam. I don't need no help.

A real man wouldn't need any help, martin.

Well, every man's not built like you, pam.

Hey, hey, hey!

Is that what you want?

Hey, baby, hi.

How are you?

Whoa-whoa, baby! What are these vegetables doing here?

They're pretty.

Pretty, gina, pretty,

But we're having a fight party, o.k.?

Not one of pam's ain't-no-good-men-around b*tch sessions.

There aren't any.

You and your friends keep proving me right.

Prove my razor works

And go shave your back. Do that!

Flow with it! Flow with it!

Martin! Stop it!

Why ain't you saying nothing to her?

It's you, martin!

Every time a fight comes on,

You get all riled up,

Like there's something wrong with your hormones.

Well, I'm sorry, gina. All right?

That's what fight night does to a man!

Blood, sweat, and tears.

It's like a man's time of the month,

Without the cramps.

Excuse me.

I think it's stupid.

Fights are violent and pointless.

You don't know what you're missing, gina--

Two hot, sweaty men with the bodies of gods...

Halfway naked.

Girl, you done got me riled up.

I don't even understand why you're having a party.

You always start tripping about people respecting your house.

I'm just giving back to the community.

Everybody can't afford cable.

I'm a giver.

Pam, make sure everybody that comes in here pays $.

Captioning made possible by warner bros.ros.,

♪ Martin ♪

How y'all been? ♪ Martin

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

Their assignments.

Gina, you got the food.

Pam, you got the door,

And i...i got the fight.

Now, when this fight comes on,

I don't want to hear nothing out of nobody.

Got that?

We got it, martin.

Gina, come here, babe.

Don't say it like that.

I'm sorry for the way I been acting,

But it's fight night, and no matter what I say,

I still love you.

I love you, too, martin.

You ain't got to be all like that.

Now come on and give me sugar, hmm?

[Bell rings]

Oops, sorry.

See you in three hours.

[Knock on door]

$ Up--

Fight.

$, Please.

Let's get ready to rumble!

Uhh-uh!

$...each!

$?

Sorry, cole. Nothing personal.

Just a business.

Ahem.

Whazzup, man?

What's up, man?

Whazzup?

I'm going to make me a sandwich.

Wh-wh-whoa. H-h-hold on there, brother.

First of all, who are you?

Come on. You know me, martin.

Brother man, upstairs, fifth floor.

O.k., Brother man from the fifth floor...

Your $ paid for that over there.

This here is the vip section.

Are we cool on that, bro?

I can respect that.

Respect that. That's all I ask, bro.

That's all I ask.

Uh, excuse me, everybody. I do need your attention.

I'm going to say this once.

We almost had an altercation up in here.

I don't want it to happen again,

So remember these three words--

Respect...my house. All right?

If you're going to drink, use a coaster.

If you're going to eat, use a paper plate

'Cause I ain't washing no dishes.

And if you got to use the bathroom,

The spray is under the sink.

Use it!

Now, y'all have a good time now, y'hear?

Excuse me.

Yo, tasha, that's him.

Who?

Martin "whazzup" payne from wzup.

Martin, do the whazzup.

[Faintly] whazzup?

Yeah, we're tight like that.

Nice to meet you, martin.

Damn! I'm into the thing, babe.

That's all that is.

Oh...we ain't--

Tasha, don't worry about it. He likes you. It's o.k.

Help yourself to some food. It's cool.

So, martin, what you think about tasha, huh?

Who?

The honey I came here with.

She all right!

Me and big shirley have to separate for a while,

'Cause I met her and knew she was the one.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm thinking about asking moms for the bigger room.

Can we rap a taste on this after the fight?

After the fight.

Right.

[Sniffing]

You smell that?

How you doing, brother man?

How you doing, brother? You, ah, comfortable?

Yeah, just chillin'.

Letting the bunion breathe.

Yeah, you got to let the bunions breathe, bro.

Man, put back on your shoes!

You got my whole place smelling like sauerkraut!

Oh, am I bad?

Shouldn't have done that, huh?

No, you should not have.

And that goes for the rest of y'all.

If you got rusty, stink-a*s feet,

Your shoes stay on!

Hey, pam. How you doing?

$, Tommy. Put your coat in the room.

Wait, uh, how much?

$.

I ain't giving nothing.

Martin owe me money.

That was apersonal loan, tommy!

This is business, brother, just business.

Oh!

Thomas!

Do it!

How you doing?

I'm tommy.

Hi. I'm tasha.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey... Hey...

What do you want, sheneneh?

Oh, my goodness.

If it isn't little miss attitude.

Why are you always over here?

I mean, don't you have a man?

I don't have time to play games with you.

Ain't nobody playing no games, all right?

All I want to know is why martin had a party

And didn't invite me.

I mean, I likes to party, all right?

There isn't a party.

We're just watching a fight together.

Well, I likes me a good fight.

You should know that.

Oh, no! Oh, no! Ooh, no!

Uh-uh.

You don't put your hands on me,

Because ain't nobody here to break us up, all right?

Rowr! Rowr! Come on in.

Whatever, sheneneh,

But there'll be a $ cover charge.

$?

$.

$?

Oh, my goodness.

I thought martin was paid.

That is so cheap.

Just like them little runned-over shoes you got on.

Oooohh!

Arrgh!

That's right. You better run, run-over!

What?

Come on! Bring it over!

Oh! Yeah!

The sport's back.

Yeah.

This is so brutal.

I can't hardly watch this.

G-g--please, gina, please!

Gina, here, please!

[Knock on door]

Did I miss anything?

Just two decades of fashion.

As if those runned-over shoes were ever in fashion.

Just give me $, grizzly adams.

And take my coat, mama.

I don't want to hold that coat!

Hey.

$, Sean.

Hey, martin, do you like my hat?

It's a hat...

No, it's actually an hat.

It's good to see you, too.

Sean, man, it's time for the main event,

So let's get down to some serious business.

Who do you like?

Oh, uh...

Well, I'll take the white guy.

[Everybody shouting]

Bet him for me.

Give him for me.

Excuse me.

Martin, did I tell you about the time

When I promoted "the thrilla in vanilla"?

Don't you mean "the thrilla in manila"?

No, man, the thrilla invanilla--

Girls wrestling in ice cream, cole.

That was a sundae I'll never forget.

Martin, these coats are piling up.

Handle it!

Please, gina, take the dog in the room for me.

Hey, hey, hey!

Gina, I'm watching the fight!

No. He got him on the ropes.

[Bell rings]

See? You're making me miss it!

Ooh!

What did I miss?

Double knockdown.

Both of them got saved by the bell.

Tasha's missing all the action.

I wouldn't say that, cole.

I wouldn't say that at all.

Gina, can I see you for a minute?

I'm watching the replay.

Come on!

What? I'm trying to--

What do you want? Make it fast.

Gina, peep this.

Tommy is in the room with cole's girlfriend.

They knockin' booge, gina.

Knockin' the booo...

What should I do about it?

Go in there and talk to that sister.

No!

We shouldn't get into other people's business.

[Bell rings]

See ya!

You my woman! Come on!

Uh, tasha.

Can I see you for a minute?

Right here.

Let me get straight to the point,

'Cause I got to get back to the fight.

I know what you're trying to do, babe,

But this ain't that kind of party.

Tommy and cole are my friends.

And what you're trying to do ain't right,

So handle it, baby.

Don't get in my business.

Ah-bah-bah-bah, ah-bah!

Respect my house. Respect it.

Huh?

What's going on, martin?

Ah!

Oooohh!

What happened?

He hit him below the belt,

And the ref didn't even take the point!

What!

Brother man, can I get my seat, man?

Don't tell me.

I shouldn't have sat here, right?

How'd you guess?

Please...excuse me.

sh**t.

Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

No, you do not have on my sweater.

Yeah, man.

It got a little cold in here,

So I went in your closet and borrowed this.

Guess that was wrong, too, huh?

Y-you damn skippy it was, brother man.

You got to go, man.

Follow this trail.

Aw...

Let's go, brother man.

Move! Move!

Let's go!

Can I get my sweater back?

Oh, my--look at the way he stretched--

Don't tear it!

Thought we was tight, man.

About as tight as this sweater was on y'all.

Now listen up, everybody.

I got some very, very sad news.

We almost had a second altercation.

You see where it got brother man--

On the fifth floor.

O.k.?

Now, if you would like to join him,

You can.

Now, all of y'all, please say it with me.

Respect my house. Respect my house.

Y'all been so good. Thank you.

Y'all been so good. Thank you.

Martin, in the bedroom, now!

Not now. I'm here!

Yo!come on, man! Turn it back on!

Not until martin meets me in the bedroom. Now.

Martin, go. Go meet him.

No. Watch out, baby.

You want the room?

Oh, yeah!

You want the room, cole?

I want the room. I want the room!

Ooh...pam!

Huh?

You all right?

What?

I know you said you was watching a fight,

But you look like you been in one.

You got to bob and weave.

Bob and use your weave.

You look like you been hit in the face

With a bag of nickels.

You're still not getting in, sheneneh.

I'm not getting in. No!

No. I'm not getting in.

Sheneneh's not getting in.

No!

Which part of no don't you understand--

The "n" or the "o"?

Oh, I forgot.

You dropped out in kindergarten.

Excuse me.

[Kicks on door]

Open the door, guys.

Oh, oh, oh.

Well, well, well, looky look.

Looks like you can't get in either, baby.

Open that door!

Pam...pam...pam!

What?

Shh.

Which part didn't you understand?

"You can't" or "get in either"?

Bo-bo-bo-boop!

Excuse me.

Sheneneh! Sheneneh, sheneneh.

What, babe, what?

I'll handle this like a woman.

I'm going to ask you, very nicely,

Can I borrow your phone please!

That is not nice.

One more time.

Can I borrow your phone...please!

I don't know. I don't know.

I got to think about it.

It's going to take me a while,

Since I did drop out in kindergarten.

Hold on.

All right...girl,

Of course you can...

If you got $. Boop!

Couldn't you mind your business?

Couldn't you stand to see me happy?

What are you talking about?

Tasha said you told her to drop me.

I'll be straight up

So I can get back to the fight.

I saw tasha in here rolling with tommy.

What?

When I say rolling,

I don't mean on a river, cole.

Oh...oh...

O.k., So it's like that!

O.k., It's like that?

That's what my eyes saw.

Hey, thank you, man.

You're my real homey, right?

Brap, brap, brap, brap, brap!

[Yelling and booing]

What did I miss?

The fight's over. The white dude won!

How?

Well, you wouldn't understand, martin.

It's a white thing.

Leave boxing to the brothers.

Y'all already got golf.

Excuse me, uh...

Thomas. Hi.

Could i, uh...

See you in the bedroom for a second?

I just want to talk to you

About something real quick.

Sure.

O.k.

We could talk, man. Come on.

Ah, ha ha.

Baby, you should have seen it!

They kept jabbing and jabbing.

It made ali-frazier look like an after-school fight.

Why are you rubbing it in, gina?

It's because of y'all messing with me all night

That I missed a good fight.

I try to give the gift of cable,

And how do y'all repay me?

Get out! Everybody, get out!

Get out!

Martin, martin!

The fight ain't over yet.

The main event's going on in the bedroom.

No! Tommy! Cole! Martin, would you stop this please?

Hell no, gina!

Because of them, I didn't get to see the fight.

I'm going to see one now!

Excuse me. Hold up!

Hold up!

Damn!

What is this about?

Like you don't know?

You didn't say you was cole's woman!

I'm not his woman!

Not yet, but I was just about to come strong.

You didn't even pay for me to get in here.

Cole, I didn't know! I'm sorry!

Chill out, tommy.

Cole, take her. She's yours.

I don't know if I want her.

Take her.

Excuse me!

I decide who I want to be with.

I don't want to be with either of you,

'Cause you're both tired!

I'm going to take a cab home.

Ah, excuse me.

Which way are you going?

To the west side. Are you going that way?

I am now.

How do you feel about vanilla ice cream?

Big shirley...big shirley?

Come on. Cut it out.

What's wrong with you?

We're supposed to be boys.

Going to let somebody come between y'all?

He wouldn't do that to you!

You--come on, man!

All right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, man.

What's wrong with you?

You know what's happening.

Come on.

One love.

One love.

One love.

Let's go.

Brother man, whazzup, man?

Brother man need love, too.

Aw!aw! Aw!aw!

Hey, big shirley. What's up?

Yeah, this is cole. I'm cool.

[Crying] no, I'm not.

Girl, I'm lying.

I miss you, girl!

I just wish I could be there right now.

So I could...

Wrap my arm halfway around you...

And beg and beg

And beg you for your forgiveness, girl.

Yeah. I could pick that up.

O.k.

Where can I get some chicken fingers at this hour?