02x01 - Do You Remember the Time?

[bunniefuu]

Mmm.

Mmm.

Martin, did you come up with a topic for your show yet?

No, gina.

Baby, I'm stressin' right now.

Look at me, gina.

Look what I'm doing to myself.

Martin,

The thing isn't even lit.

That's because I don't allow

No smoking in my house, gina.

Gina! Gina!

What?

Now is not the time to be criticizing me.

I'm very expl*sive right now.

Boom! Very expl*sive.

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

* Martin *

How y'all been? * Martin

* Martin *

* Martin *

Hey, hey, what's going on?

Come on, let's go.

I'm ready to eat.

We're ready. Martin's working on a topic

For tomorrow's show.

Yesterday he wasted two hours

Talking about how mcdonald's had no black characters.

Hey, hey.

Ronald mcdonald is a black man.

He's just light-skinned.

That's the hunger talking.

Whoa!

You see?

Martin, come on, baby.

We're ready to go.

Go ahead.

I'm going to stay here, work on my show.

Honey, baby, you'll get it.

No, baby, no.

I'm empty, gina.

I am burnt out.

O.k.?

Think about my last three topics.

About mcdonald's...

Toe jam...

Sea monkeys, gina!

Girl, I did a show on sea monkeys.

Work on that, my brother.

We got to go.

O.k., Fine, thank you.

You going to leave your boy hanging--

Thank you, friends.

We'd help you, but you never like our ideas.

That's not true at all.

You guys have great ideas.

Most importantly,

You are my friends.

If not you...

Who?

All right.

All right, all right.

O.k., Look,

You can do a show on the ozone layer.

Tommy, you go eat.

How about, uh, pork,

The other white meat?

Whazzup with that?

Cole, you go with tommy.

[Pam] you know, martin--

No, no, you shouldn't be speaking.

Gimme here, baby.

Uh...

O.k., Um...

People always like to hear about relationships.

Why not do something about the first time we met?

Oh, come on, gina.

First time we met.

Yes!

That is dope.

Baby...

I remember when you two met,

And it wasn't all that.

Yes...

It...

Was...

Pam.

I remember that night, too.

I walked in, gina took one look at me,

And plah-kada-clap.

She was in love.

Ha ha.

All the cuties were up on me that night.

Gina's just lucky

I chose her.

Oh, you chose me.

Oh, yes.

We better get this story straight

Before you go broadcasting some fantasy.

No, no, no, gina.

I know what happened that night.

Would y'all like to hear?

No!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

That's right.

I remember that night well.

I walked in, and I was the man.

All the women were on me.

I was the mack that night.

Damn...

Baby...

You look good to me!

Well, thank you, baby.

Thank you, baby.

Look here, baby,

I should be on the guest list--

Under "m" for mack, baby.

Pure mack.

Can you dig it, baby?

I can dig that.

You just bring your fine self on up in here.

Say, listen, daddy-o,

You think if you're not busy later,

You can drop by my pad?

I got to think about that, baby.

But you be cool, all right?

Maybe later we can rap a taste on it, huh?

Can you dig that?

O.k., Baby.

Ohh.

Mmm. My, my, my.

Now, I done tasted every flavor...

From french vanilla

To double-chocolate mocha,

But tonight...

I'm in the mood for some caramel.

I need a man.

I--i'm tired of being by myself.

Come on, baby. Shh.

Shh!

Shh!

Now, now, baby.

No words, baby.

Don't get heavy on me, baby.

O.k.?

Excuse me, baby.

[Plays romantic song]

You know, the first time I saw you,

I wanted to touch you.

You have this incredible excitement about you.

I had those same good feelings

The first time I saw you.

So where do we go from here?

To the top, if you're not afraid, baby.

You see, baby,

I want to be everything to you.

I want to be your father...

I want to be your friend...

I want to be your lover...

I want to be your uncle, your aunt,

Your mama, your poppy.

But you got to believe in me, baby.

You got to believe that everything I ask you to do

Is best for both of us.

Oh, wow!

Can you dig that, baby?

Solid, man. I can dig it.

Baby, can you dig it?

Baby, can you dig it?

Yay!

That's how it was.

Gina was all up on me.

Ohhh!

Lies, lies.

He made it up.

Martin, where was cole and i?

We were at the party, too.

I don't know about all that.

I was too busy looking good.

So wait a minute.

Is that the story you're going to tell on the show tomorrow,

That you just snapped your fingers

And I was so overwhelmed

By the sheer magnificence of you

That I just came a-runnin'?

Most definitely, gina.

You was all up in here with your...

Martin!

You stupid.

That is not what happened.

Would you explain it to him?

I saw the whole thing.

Now...

Gina, tommy, and I

Were at a very classy and private party,

And you two bums barged in.

[Sirens]

Get up!

You go on without me.

Get going!

O.k.

Now...

In case y'all didn't notice,

I'm on the run from the cops.

I need a hostage.

Redbone!

You!

Come here.

Ooh!

Don't fight me.

You're a bad man!

You're a very bad man.

I'm bad just the way you like it.

You fight.

You like you a little physical, huh?

You like it.

I love you, woman.

That's the truth. I got no reason to lie.

Well, thank you, pam,

For straightening that our for us.

Now go in the back

And straighten out those buckshots in the back of your neck.

Girl, your hair's so nappy,

Wilson couldn't pick it.

Martin did not kidnap me, pam.

That's right. You tell her.

Oh, you be quiet, superfly.

Your story was worse.

Can we go eat? Please.

We definitely can.

Wait. This is not settled.

Oh, yes, it is, gina.

You see, I'm going to tell my story

My way

On my show.

Now, can we please be out?

No, we can't.

Everybody, sit down.

Come on, baby.

Nobody's going anywhere until we get the real story.

Sorry.

You know, I am really disappointed in all of yous.

Martin and I fell in love that night,

And if you just tell the story like it happened

And stop trying to make yourselves look so good,

It would be a beautiful story.

O.k., Then fine, gina, fine.

It's on you. Speak on it.

How'd we meet?

O.k.

I remember I had a sense

That something really special

Was going to happen that night.

Charles, isn't it a wonderful party?

Perhaps, perhaps.

But look at this.

Domestic caviar.

Well, I hope they found a good discount.

Charles.

A party isn't about the food.

It's about the people.

Oh, yes, darling. I agree.

They do seem to be the right sort, don't they?

They are rich people.

Like me.

Good god, look what the wind blew in.

It's a special delivery from a secret admirer.

His name's martin payne.

He's really shy.

Excuse me a moment.

Wait a minute, gina.

Hi!

Hi, come here.

Come here.

Come here. Give me your hand.

Give it to me.

There you go.

What a good boy.

Watch your step.

Thank you for the rose.

It's beautiful.

Well, not half as beautiful

As you are, miss ma'am.

But I've already said too much.

No, it's nice.

There's no need to be shy.

Yes, there is.

I mean...

I just never met anyone like...

As beautiful and neat and swell

As you are.

I mean--i mean,

When I look into your beautiful, shimmering eyes,

It just makes me go...

Ohh!

Please, can I have one last look, please?

Ahh!

I can go die now.

Wait.

That is the most moving thing

Anyone's ever said to me.

Gina, gina, what could you possibly want with this...

Loser?

Look.

I know everyone will look at him

And see a shy, ineffectual male

With a poor self-image, but...

I look deep inside,

And I see a beautiful soul.

And as god is my witness,

I will take this raw clay of martin payne

And one day mold a great man.

Miss--miss ma'am?

Would you mold me?

Yes!

Could you mold me?

Mmm.

Oh, oh, oh.

Let me get this straight.

You fell for me because you think

I was acting like a punk?

No. Because I think

You're a shy, sensitive man.

Punk? Yeah. Punk? Yeah.

This is whack, gina.

Shimmering eyes.

No, no, baby.

Ha ha!

You must've had crust or spackle

Or something in your eyes.

Oh, that's right, martin.

You played the saxophone,

And I came gliding across the room?

Well, who directed your fantasy, homey,

Spike lee?

That's a good one!

I told you to chill

With your little buckshot a*s.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Let's get back to my story.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, you all, shut up!

Shut up and let me tell it, o.k.?

Like you know the truth?

Yes, I do, martin.

You weren't all that fly.

Gina and pam,

Y'all weren't divas.

Say what?

And, cole...

Huh?

You need prayer.

Tommy's the only one

Who doesn't have anything to gain by lying.

Martin,

This is the story

You should use on your show

Because it's the truth, o.k.?

You, me, and cole were hanging out one night,

And we crashed this party.

Wait a minute. Who's this?

I haven't seen her before.

I got to find out.

You brothers watch, look, and learn.

All right? Check me.

Mmm.

Nummm.

Excuse me.

Mm-mmm.

See...

You should be thanking me.

I saved you calories.

, If you include what's on your nose.

Oh! Damn!

Oho!

Can you help me out?

Here you go.

Now, that's embarrassing, huh?

Mmm.

But it's good, though.

Get that out of the way.

Listen, listen, listen.

Your name is?

Gina waters.

Martin payne.

We kind of hitting it off.

We like each other, don't we?

Let's cut through the drama.

Thank you.

Welcome.

Let's cut through the drama

And get out of here.

My vega's out back...

Let's be out.

O.k., I'll go with you.

You will?

No.

Oh, o.k.

You did a little joke, joke, joke,

Little whoopi goldberg.

O.k., You funny.

You funny.

You something else.

I got to go.

Look, babe, I may need a jump later on.

It's going to be tougher than I thought.

You think you can get that woman

To throw her drink in my face?

Cole, shut up, man.

Please, shut up.

Time for plan "b."

Watch me.

Excuse me, brother.

You mind if I play a little?

Go ahead.

I still get paid anyway.

My man.

Ahem!

Excuse me!

We want to get this party jumping,

You know?

I want to dedicate this song

To the most beautiful lady in the room.

It's a little something I wrote entitled...

The first time...

* Ever I saw your face **

Gina.

[Plays off-key]

Give me that!

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I do parties, picnics, conventions, bar mitzvah.

I'm in the book. Someone look me up.

You seen people blowing me up?

Now, are you going to give me your number

Or do I got to do a drum solo?

Give you my number? I don't think so.

Here he is. He's the third one.

We don't want a scene.

We'll take you outside and bust you up.

Damn, where's your control?

You don't have to put that muscle in it, all right?

Check it.

I'm not with them, man.

I don't even know them.

I'm with her. Gina.

Gina, is he with you?

If he's not, he's out of here.

Y-y-y-yeah.

Yes.

He's with me. He's my cou--

Man.

Man. My friend.

I'm your man.

Man?

My man. My man.

My man. My man.

I know he's not with you.

Oh, yes, I am.

Excuse me.

Come here, girl.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Mmm.

Ahem.

How you like me now?

O.k.

These other two got to go.

Get them out of here.

Wait, wait, wait.

All right, appreciate it.

Keep moving on.

Hey, love's all right.

Your man?

I'm your man.

You didn't have to--

I'm sorry, I didn't--

[Sniffs]

Is that my breath or yours?

Yours.

That's the truth.

That's the way it happened.

I didn't choose her.

She didn't choose me.

We just, uh, fell in love.

Hey, look here.

Well, tomorrow, to continue

My all gina week--

Ha ha!

I'll tell you about the first time...

I made her scream out my name.

Martin.

Oh, martin!

Oh, martin!