02x02 - Panini for President/Chowder's Babysitter

[bunniefuu]

Mung daal: ♪ you take the

Moon, and you take the sun ♪

Chowder: ♪ you take

Everything that seems like fun ♪

Truffles: ♪ you stir it all

Up, and when you're done ♪

Shnitzel: ♪ radda radda radda

R-r-radda radda ♪

All: ♪ so, come on in

♪ Feel free to do some looking

♪ Stay awhile 'cause something's

Always cooking ♪

♪ Come on in

♪ Feel free to do some looking

♪ Stay awhile 'cause something's

Always cooking ♪

Yeah!

[ Applause ]

My fellow apprentices,

Welcome to today's meeting of

The apprentice council.

All: yay, apprentice council!

Yay, apprentice council!

As your president and

Apprentice flyswatter, I

Believe we have the power to --

[ Fly buzzes ]

Hyah!

Heyoh!

Hyah! Hyah!

Come back here!

Come back here!

Come back!

Well, I guess we need a new

President.

Panini: I'll do it!

As your president, I officially

Declare child marriage legal.

You may kiss the bride.

Chowder: ew!

Hey, you can't just declare

Yourself president.

Panini: excuse me?

Chowder: I'm free!

Panini: well, I don't see

Anyone trying to run against me.

I nominate myself.

Gorgonzola for president.

You stink!

Quiet, you.

Panini: the public has

Spoken.

I am president.

Nuh-unh.

That's not how it works.

We need a proper election.

I need someone to run against

Her, someone malleable, someone

I can completely control.

Chowder: [ slurping ]

What?

Hey, chowder, want to run for

President?

Chowder: no thanks.

I'm really more of a walker.

Look into the lollipop,

Chowder.

Look into the lollipop.

Chowder: yes, master

Lollipop.

You will run for president,

And gorgonzola will be your

Vice president.

Chowder: I will run -- wait,

Wait, wait a minute!

Girl, you crazy.

As president, you can ban

Panini from being your

Girlfriend.

Chowder: step aside!

Future president coming through!

Panini: excuse me.

I have issues with this.

Future husbands and wives cannot

Run against each other.

Chowder: I'm not your future

Husband!

As president, I will ban you.

Panini: then let the race

Begin.

Ceviche, my friend, we have got

This election in the bag.

You are so awesome.

Panini: no, you are so

Awesome.

I so want to kiss you.

Panini: so, um, yay,

Election!

Yeah.

Yay, election!

Yay!

Panini: let's get the rest of

The town.

Okay, now's our chance.

Pretty clever, eh, pudge?

Chowder: mm, is she supposed

To be french?

[ Scoffs ] no.

She's supposed to be ugly.

It's defamation of character.

Chowder: oh.

Because french people are ugly?

No.

Chowder: ooh, if she's

French, you should draw a beret.

It'll help.

Quiet, you.

Look at master lollipop.

Look at master lollipop.

Oh, my gosh.

That poor little french girl has

A moustache and a beard.

I'm totally gonna vote for her

Out of pity.

Chowder: we can't let panini

Get the pity vote, master lolly!

What we need is a

Professional campaign manager.

You've come to the right

Place, my friends.

I don't know if you know this,

But on my last birthday, I

Happened to be elected

Number-one son.

[ High-pitched voice ] by your

Mother.

[ Normal voice ] who said that?

What have you tried so far?

Chowder: we drew a moustache

On a poster.

Not bad.

What else?

Chowder: a beard.

We drew a beard, too.

A beard.

That's inspired!

See?

I told you.

And even with all that,

You're still behind in the

Polls?

Hmm.

How many babies have you kissed?

Chowder: what does kissing a

Baby have to do with winning an

Election?

It shows you are in touch

With the common peoples.

Chowder: I don't want to

Touch common peoples.

But I really don't want to touch

Panini!

What do I got to do?!

You will obey, obey, obey.

Chowder: I'm getting tired of

Master lollipop.

Master cinnamon swirl says

You will kiss babies to win.

Chowder: yes, master cinnamon

Swirl!

Ooh, I got to try that on

Mother.

[ Babies snoring ]

Chowder: I can't kiss that

Baby.

It's disgusting!

Just kiss it so we can win.

Chowder: is it normal for

Babies to have chest hair?

Just kiss it!

[ Smooches ]

Chowder: aah!

[ Babies cry ]

Calm down, you babies!

Be quiet!

[ Telephone rings ]

Sergeant monte cristo of the

Baby police speaking.

[ Speaking gibberish ]

A baby riot, huh?

[ All wailing ]

All right, you babies, break

It up!

It's the fuzz!

Chowder: aah!

You'll never take me alive,

Copper!

Darn you meddling kids!

I'll get you someday!

Never!

Both: ooh.

[ Screaming ]

[ All chanting "panini" ]

Panini: oh, hey

Traitor/future ex-boyfriend.

How's your campaign going?

Panini, panini, smile, smile,

Sweetheart, baby!

Look at me!

Chowder: guess I better go

Buy a wedding ring and tux.

Come back here.

Listen to master pizza.

Chowder: master pizza, you

Say?

[ High-pitched voice ] no,

Chowder, listen to me!

[ Normal voice ] who are you?

[ High-pitched voice ] I am

Master willpower.

[ Normal voice ] can you give me

Pizza?

[ High-pitched voice ] better.

I can give you dignity.

[ Normal voice ] sounds tasty.

Chowder, wait!

We still got the big debate to

Do.

Chowder: but I like the taste

Of dignity.

[ High-pitched voice ] I've

Got something better, chowder.

Chowder: who are you?

Um, I'm master, um...

Chowder: oh, hi, master um.

Do you know master willpower?

[ Normal voice ] no.

Chowder: gorgonzola, I asked

Master um, not you.

[ High-pitched voice ] you

Have to become president to keep

Panini from being your

Girlfriend, remember?

Chowder: oh, yeah.

I forgot.

Master willpower, can you offer

Me anything like that?

[ High-pitched voice ] sadly,

I cannot.

And so, chowder, gorgonzola,

And master um made their way to

The big debate.

Please welcome the future

Apprentice council president

Panini.

Bring it home, panini!

Make mama proud!

What?

Panini: ceviche, I need my

Politician teeth now.

[ Cheering ]

[ Crowd chanting "panini" ]

Mwah, mwah!

Adorable, adorable.

Okay.

And running against panini, we

Have chowder, who's been lagging

In the polls.

Both: go, chowder!

Chowder: you will never be my

Girlfriend.

I must win!

No, no, chowder, that is not

How we debate!

Do-over, redo.

We're gonna try that again.

Okay, that was weird.

Now I'm interested.

Chowder, what are you doing?!

It's a debate, dimwit.

Use your words.

Now get out there and let me do

The dirty work.

Chowder: "dirty work"?

Chowder, I refuse to be

Candle holder for the rest of my

Life.

And since you are probably gonna

Screw it up, I have no choice

But to take matters into my own

Hands.

[ Laughs evilly ]

Chowder: oh, that makes

Sense.

First question goes to

Panini.

When you become president of the

Apprentice council, what type of

Tree will you be?

Panini: thank you, pã¢tã©.

But seriously, I will be an oak.

They are solid.

They are unwavering.

And most importantly, they are

Made in marzipan city by

Marzipan-anzians for marzipan!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Go!

[ Laughs ]

Mung daal: fireworks.

She's using fireworks.

Truffles: I'd completely

Forgotten fireworks even

Existed.

[ High-pitched voice ] in my

Marriage.

[ Normal voice ] who said that?

[ Laughs ]

Okay, next question to

Chowder.

Doreen from temecula asks --

Ooh, this one's good.

Doreen wants to know what you

Intend to do about the price of

Beans in lasagna town.

Chowder: we-- how the heck

Should I know?

I get all my beans from

Gazpacho.

Good plug, chowder!

Buy my beans!

Buy my beans!

Panini: well, what's your

Answer, num-nums?

Chowder: uh...well, well --

At least I'm not a girl!

[ All gasping ]

Panini: slander, slander!

It's political mudslinging!

Oh, I'll give you political

Mudslinging -- literally.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Panini: chowder, how could

You?

Chowder: i-i didn't do that.

Panini: don't play dumb.

Chowder: i-i'm not playing.

My dumbness is real.

Panini: fine.

Be that way.

I've got a few smear tactics of

My own.

Chowder: hey, if you're not

Gonna fight a clean fight, then

Neither am i!

Panini: hey!

Chowder: hey!

Panini: hey!

Chowder: hey!

Panini: hey!

Chowder: hey!

Panini: hey!

Chowder: hey!

Children, please!

What is happening?

Oh, my god.

[ Laughs ]

Chowder: and take that.

Uh-oh.

Panini: [ grunts ]

Chowder: please don't k*ll

Me, panini!

Panini: I -- I -- I just

Wanted to be close to you,

Chowder!

I just wanted to pass laws that

Would legally make you my

Property, and instead you listen

To gorgonzola and ruin

Everything!

Why?

Why?

Why?!

Oh, my gosh, panini!

Are you okay?

Panini: yes, ceviche, I'm

Fine.

Now go away so I can finish my

Moment.

Why?!

Chowder: don't cry.

I wasn't listening to

Gorgonzola.

I was hanging around because he

Was giving me food.

He's my friend.

Panini: he's not your friend.

He's like a villain or

Something.

Hey, mr. President.

Chowder: aah!

A villain!

A villain, you say?

You'll never take me alive,

Copper!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Come here, you!

[ Buzzing ]

Come back here!

Ow!

Got 'em.

Panini: looks like the

President's back.

Chowder: so I guess neither

Of us wins?

Panini: well, I wouldn't say

That.

You did win...my heart.

[ Smooches ]

Chowder: I'm not your

President!

[ Zip! ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

Chowder: pbbbbbht!

What?

Who said that?

Was that you, miss pie?

What's that?

You want me to eat you?

Okay, but don't tell steve.

He might get jealous.

[ Drooling ]

Mung daal: hold it right

There, partner!

Chowder: aah!

Freak!

Aah!

Mung daal: it's me, chowder.

Chowder: oh, hey, mung.

Be careful.

There's some freak walking

Around here dressed like a

Clown.

Mung daal: that freak was me,

And I'm not dressed like a

Clown.

I'm dressed like a real cowboy.

Chowder: aah!

Freak!

Mung daal: still me, chowder!

Chowder: no, behind you!

Aah!

Mung daal: aah!

Freak! Aah!

Truffles: quiet!

Would you stop your fooling

Around?

We're gonna be late to the

Hoedown.

Mung daal: yes, dear.

Chowder: a hoedown?

That sounds fun.

Mung daal: oh, no.

Little ones aren't allowed at

The hoedown.

That's why I got you a

Babysitter for the night.

Chowder: babysitter?

[ Zip! ]

[ Panting ]

Ugh!

But I hate babysitters!

Mung daal: oh, I have a

Feeling you're gonna like this

One.

[ Doorbell rings ]

That must be him now.

Chowder: a carrot?

Is it safe to come out?

She's not around is she?

Mung daal: who?

Mother, that's who.

She doesn't like it when I'm out

After dark.

Chowder: [ gasps ]

Gazpacho's my babysitter?!

[ Snap! ]

All right, folks.

I'll take it from here.

Mung daal: thanks.

We'll be back before sunup,

Partner.

They're gone!

The night is ours.

Chowder: what should we do

First?

Well, I got this here list I

Like to call "gazpacho's list of

Cool stuff to do when

Babysitting!"

Chowder: good title.

Yeah, I know.

[ Squish! ]

[ Squish! ]

Kimchi: pbht!

Both: [ slurping ]

Chowder: okay, let's see --

What's next?

Ooh, hide and seek.

Actually, it looks like it's

Past your bedtime.

Chowder: say what?

Come on.

Let's get you ready for

Dreamland.

Chowder: but we've only done

Half the list.

Chowder, if there's one thing

Mother's taught me it's to sleep

As much as you can.

That way, you don't have to face

The horrible reality of what

Your life's become.

Chowder: hide and seek!

Ready, set, go!

[ Zip! ]

Chowder!

Chowder, buddy!

Chowder: this crate is a

Perfect place to hide.

But first, I better empty out

These steaks.

There.

He'll never find me.

Now where is that kid hiding?

Oh, where, oh, where could

Chowder be?

Hmm.

He's not hiding in the giant

Meat grinder, is he?

[ Alarm sounds ]

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

What have I done?

[ Sobbing ]

Oh, what am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

[ Squishing ]

I wonder if they'll notice.

Chowder: oh, they'll notice.

Oh, chowder!

You were so young, so innocent,

Could have had so many more

Meals to eat!

Chowder: all right.

If you're gonna cry about it,

I'll go to bed.

Huh?

Aah!

Hommina, hommina, hommina.

Chowder: what's your

"Hommina, hommina, hommina"

About, gazpacho?

You!

You're dead!

Right there on the floor!

Chowder: that's me?

What's left of you.

Chowder: well, this is

Definitely my hat.

And [sniffs] it does smell like

Me and sound like me...

[ Squish! ]

And tastes like me.

Who knew I was so delicious?!

I'm dead?!

But -- but I'm still here.

Look.

[ Gasps ]

You're the vengeful spirit of

Chowder here to haunt me.

Just like mother, except she's

Still alive!

Chowder: I'm a spirit?

Look, I don't know the

Details, okay?

All I do know is that you're a

Spirit, and spirits got to cross

To the other side.

So, cross and be gone!

Chowder: "the other side"?

How do I get there?

You mean -- you mean you

Don't know how to cross to the

Other side?

Chowder: no.

I can show you how.

But first, I need you to sign

This paper saying I'm not

Responsible for your gruesome

Death.

Now, when my pet goldfish,

Abraham, died, this is how

Mother sent him to the other

Side.

All you have to do is flush, and

You'll be on your way.

Chowder: gazpacho, even

Though you ground me up into

Hamburger, you were my best

Friend, and I'm gonna miss you.

[ Sobbing ]

I'm gonna miss you, too, little

Buddy.

Oh, hey.

Can you do me a favor?

Say hello to abraham for me.

Chowder: sure thing!

Other side, here I come.

[ Toilet flushes ]

[ Rumbling ]

Aah!

We got to try a different

Toilet.

Come on, little buddy!

Chowder: aah!

What am I gonna do, gazpacho?

We've tried every toilet in

Town, but none of them worked.

If only there were some sort of

Super-toilet.

Then I might be able to cross to

The other side.

Chowder, I know of such a

Toilet.

Chowder: you do?

Yes.

I have to use it when mother

Makes mac and cheese.

However, getting to the

Super-toilet is very dangerous.

Chowder: why?

Where is it?

[ Creak! ]

There it is!

Chowder: whoa, the

Super-toilet!

It -- it's so beautiful.

Yeah.

Legend says that endive had it

Custom-built 'cause every other

Toilet shattered under her

Massive derriere.

Chowder: golly.

Hurry up and jump in.

We got to get you to the other

Side before she finds us here.

Chowder: [ grunting ]

I got you covered.

Up you go.

[ Splash! ]

Splash back -- classy.

Chowder, psst!

You in there?

Chowder: yeah, but how am I

Gonna reach the handle to flush?

I'm way ahead of you.

Okay, this is goodbye.

I hope you have a safe trip.

Flush away.

Let's go.

[ Thud! ]

Oh!

No.

She's coming!

I got to hide! I got to hide!

Oh, ooh!

Panini, did you lock me out

Of the bathroom again?

Panini: no, miss endive.

Oh.

Hmm. That's strange.

Both: please don't use the

Toilet, please don't use the

Toilet, please don't use the

Toilet.

[ Creak! ]

Whew!

[ Slow music plays ]

Hmm, nice choice of music.

Okay, I'm gonna go up and see if

I can find a way out of here.

Chowder: what about me?

Don't worry.

I never leave unfinished

Business behind.

Oh, god.

[ Splash! ]

Chowder: [ gasps ]

Oh, no!

Endive's k*lled gazpacho.

[ Gasps ] oh.

Chowder: gazpacho, endive

k*lled you, and now you're a

Spirit like me.

I am?

Chowder: yeah.

Well, good thing I'm already

In the toilet.

Chowder: I know.

I'm gonna sneak up to the

Handle to flush.

Chowder: no.

You've already been through too

Much.

Let me go.

[ Humming ]

Mmm, fruit.

Now's your chance.

Go!

Chowder: okay.

[ Grunts ]

How do I get up to the handle

From here?

Space boots.

Chowder: but I don't have

Space boots.

Oh.

Well, do you want to use mine?

Chowder: yeah.

Toss them up.

Okay, ready?


Mmm, more fruit.

2 15/16.

Now I'm back to 2 1/2.


Chowder?

Chowder: [ gasps ]

[ Screams ]

Huh?

Chowder: [ screaming ]

Aah!

Eh, space boots.

Chowder: huh?

[ Toilet flushes ]

I'll teach you to spy on a

Beautiful woman!

Chowder, you did it!

Come on, let's go!

Huh?

You again?

[ Chuckles ]

Chowder: here I come!

Ugh.

Argh!

Got you.

[ Laughs evilly ]

You'll never get me pot of

Gold.

Argh!

Both: [ gasping ]

We made it.

[ Sighs ]

So, this is the other side.

Hmm.

Looks -- looks pretty much like

Our side, huh?

Aah!

Both: endive's angry spirit!

Aah!

Run, chowder!

Whatever you do, don't look

Back!

Mung daal: chowder, gazpacho?

Well, I've searched the whole

Place, but I can't seem to find

Them.

The strangest part is all the

Bathrooms are flooded and the

Meat grinder's been used.

Huh?

Both: [ panting ]

Mung daal: there you are.

Chowder: hey, mung!

Gazpacho and I are both dead,

And we just crossed to the other

Side using endive's

Super-toilet.

Mung daal: what?

Why does this always happen

When I babysit kids?

Panini: just give me a hug,

Num-nums.

Chowder: no!

Panini: chowder!

Chowder: no, no, no!

Panini: just one hug?

Then I'll go.

Chowder: really?

One hug?

Then you will leave?

Panini: promise.

Chowder: okay, hug's done.

Leave.

Okay, thanks.

All right.

You can go now.

You promised!

Panini: I lied.