01x04 - Certifrycation Class/Sing Beans

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

♪ You take the moon
and you take the sun ♪

♪ You take everything that
seems like fun ♪

♪ You stir it all up
and then you're done ♪

♪ Radda radda radda radda
radda radda ♪

♪ So come on in
feel free to do some looking ♪

♪ Stay awhile 'cause
something's always cooking ♪

♪ Come on in
feel free to do some looking ♪

♪ Stay awhile 'cause
something's always cooking ♪

Yeah!

[applause, cheers]

[theme music]

[page flips]

[page flips]

And now, I present to you,
the firesnacker!

[crackling]

[fireworks]

[clatters]

[cheers and applause]

Well, thank you, thank you.

Well, you've done it again,
honey.

You set the kitchen on fire.

Radda, radda, radda, radda.

Why do you always
question my technique?

Radda, radda, radda, radda.

[pumps]

This is my domain.

I am the master
of this kitchen.

Do I need to show proof?

Oh, here we go again.

Shnitzel, lights, please.

[light clicks]
Behold this, my certifrycate.

Please note the golden-washed
seal of authenticity.

Please note the signature
of the commissioner

of the culinary arts.

Please note the small man
removing my certifrycate

from the wall and walking away.

[gasps]
Hey! Hey!

Can I help you?

Yeah, expired certifrycation
enforcement agency.

This certifrycate here
is expired.

You can't operate without
a valid certifrycate.

I'm afraid we're gonna have
to shut you down.

[all gasping]
Take it away, Gherkin!

[plops]

[stumping]

Yeah, get yourself
re-certifried

and we'll get youse up
and running again.

Expired?! Hah!
A good chef never goes bad.

You better get that new
certifrycate or you're gonna

be the one who expires.

[quirky music]

[vehicles rumbling]

[honking]

[Mung Daal]
'This should be a piece'

'of cake for a chef
of my abilities.

I've been cooking
for 386 years, after all.

Is that what you call it?

Cooking?
It's fun to pretend, isn't it?

- Endive!
- Endive!

I've got to say, Endive,
I'm surprised you let

your certifrycation
expire as well.

Oh, please.
I let nothing expire.

I'm merely here to renew
and replenish.

Give me a break.

[alarm ringing]

[clicks]

[jingles]

[yawns]

[smacks lips]

[clears throat]

[coughs]

Good morning, class.

My name is Reuben,
and I will be

your captain on
today's culinary cruise.

Here we have our happy little
boat, the S.S. Yum-Yum!

Look how it sails smoothly.
Toot-Toot!

That's because it follows
a recipe!

I think I'm going
to be sea-sick.

[gasps]
What's that on the horizon?

Look out! It's a recipe pirate!

Naughty recipe pirate hates
following recipes!

Boom, crash! Aah!

Oh, no!
The Yum-Yum's going down!

Um, excuse me,
can I have my certifrycate now?

You want it now?

See, I'm a professional chef.
I already know how to cook.

If I wasn't, would I be able
to do this?

[carnival music]

Whoo! Go, Mung!

[slaps]

So, let's just forget all this

silly nautical nonsense and--

- Pirate!
- Huh?

Are you a recipe pirate?

Uh, no?

Whew! Good.

Funny story, for a minute
there, I thought you were.

If that had been
the case, you'd never

ever get your certifrycate.

No certifrycate, and the only
place you'll be allowed to cook

is in a dumpster.

All aboard the S.S. Yum-Yum!

[quirky music]

Now, everyone take a look
at your recipe.

We'll start with the simple
task of boiling water.

All we have to do
is boil water?

Piece of cake.

Now, Panini, always start
with the finest ingredients.

Oh, I am.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

To achieve the proper
temperature, we must

measure the flames
and select the right pot.

- 'Totally.'
- 'Of course, handle in.'

We then gently pour our water.

- Now, give it some privacy.
- Yeah.

Looking good, ladies.
Would you mind?

[pours water]

[drinking]

Ahh, boiled to perfection.

[engine rumbling]

[laughter, cheers]

Yeah!

And what do you
think you are doing?

Toiling water!

Any two-bit chef
can boil water.

[revs engine, laughs]

Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

- Oh, yeah!
- Ooh!

Yessiree, when it
comes to cooking, I like

to take risks, and that's
why the ladies love me.

Perfect fit.

Now, let this be a reminder
to you...follow the recipe

or become a recipe pirate.

But-- I--

We both know you can do better,
so let's just

put it behind us and move on.

[clattering]

For our second task, we will be
making a sandwich.

[slaps chart]
Follow this diagram.

Exactly.

[gulps]

When you complete
your assignment

bring it to me for your grade.

Okay, Chowder,
no more Mr. Nice Guy.

We're going to follow that
recipe, get the certifrycate

and get back to business.

- Right!
- 'Step one...bread.'

[scoffs]

Okay. This is
going to be a piece of cake.

You said that the last time.

Next ingredient, slomato.

Slomato doesn't go with
sewerdough bread.

Plumpernickel and slomato,
now, that's a combo.

Mung, I thought we
were gonna follow the recipe.

Right, right.
Follow the recipe.

[Mung Daal]
'Now, we add'

'wettuce, munion, mayo--'

Wettuce on top of slomatoes?!

Well, that's ridiculous.
This recipe must be wrong.

I'll just put them
in the right order.

Mung! Like the picture!

Fine.
If they want an upside-down

sandwich, then that's what
they're gonna get.

[Mung Daal]
'Done.'

[chomping]

Mighty woman,
this is fantastic.

You'll find that
everything I do is fantastic.

[chomps]

This looks promising.

[chomping]
Mmm-mm!

Mmm, mm.

[smacks lips]
Mmm.

- Well?
- I don't like mayo.

But I followed
the recipe exactly!

The recipe calls for mayo.

Yes, but I'm the customer,
and this customer's allergic

to mayo.

[snorts, popping]

How was I supposed
to know that?

Will it be the peg leg
or the eye patch?

- Peg leg!
- Eye patch it is.

[splats, sighs]

[quirky music]

[slaps chart]

[tap squeaks]

[shivering]

[bell dings]

[slurping]

Mwah!

[spraying]

[sneezes]

[bell dings]

[quirky music continues]

[splats]

[bell dings]

[bell dings]

[bell dings]

[bell dings]

[bell dings]

For our final exercise, we will

be testing your dexterity

and wrist techniques.

I need you to simply
cut a piece of cake.

Piece of cake, right, Mung?

I-I-I don't know what to do!

You have to put yourself
into it!

No, silly, you must follow
the rules!

Recipe, schmecipe,
go with the flow!

Stop, the customer's
always right.

Let yourself go!

Stay inside the lines!

Feel the food!

Cook by the book!

Piece of cake, whoo!

Piece of cake!
Piece of cake!

- Piece of cake!
- I'm a little confused.

I don't see any cake-cutting.

What do you have to say
for yourself, hmm, huh, hmm?

[twitching]
Cake. Cake. Cake.

- 'Cake.'
- Okay, then.

I was hoping it wouldn't
have to come to this.

[clatters]

I can't tell you
how let down I am.

You really were my favorite
pupil, but recipe pirates

must walk the plank.

[quirky music]

What's that big hand for?

Oh, it helps me make my point!

[thuds]

[crash]

How unfortunate.

But that's what
happens to those

who have no business
in the kitchen.

[sighs]
Garbage never looked so dreamy.

- Mung?
- I don't understand, Chowder.

All these years, I thought
I knew what I was doing.

What kind of chef can't
even get a stupid certifrycate?

I might as well hang up
my smock.

[Chowder]
'No!' You are the greatest
chef in the world!

And, and, and..

♪ I believe you can cook ♪

♪ You should believe 'cause I
believe in you ♪

♪ You just have to try
and trust your gut ♪

♪ That you can put food
on a plate ♪

♪ 'Cause you're the best chef
in the world ♪

♪ And everything I learned
I learned from you ♪

♪ Even if I didn't understand
a word ♪

♪ On the wings of an eagle ♪♪♪

[squeaking, applause]

Chowder, you're right.

I don't need a stupid
certifrycate to be a chef.

But I do need it to make
a living as one!

[Chowder humming]

You can stop now.

[stops humming]

Congratulations, ladies.

Your certifrycate
for a job well done.

We did it, Miss Endive.

Was there ever any doubt,
my dear?

Let me just sign this for you.

[humming]

[quirky music]

[Mung Daal]
'Avast, ye mateys!'

[thuds]

See you later, suckers!

[gasps]
My certifrycate!

Well, I guess we'll be
spending some more time

together.

[chuckles]

[swoosh]

[Mung Daal]
'Behold my'

'certifrycate of authenticity!'

This document hereby states

that I, Mung Daal,
am a certifried chef.

Ah, yes.
You did it again, honey.

You set the place
on fire. Again!

That's what I do, baby.
It's what I do.

[siren blaring]

[theme music]

[page flips]

[page flips]

Listen, I need these cooked
before tomorrow night's show.

I mean, you can do that,
can't you?

You guys won't let me
down, will you? Will you?

I mean, I can't handle any more
disappointment in my life.

Not to worry, my fine sir.

We at the Mung Daal Catering
Company are nothing

if not professionals.

[Chowder slurping]

[rips]

Knock it off!

[quirky music]

What is it, Mung?
What's in there?

Is it something yummy?

We have been commissioned
to make sing beans.

Sing beans? Wow!

Radda, radda.
Radda, radda, radda.

No, I said "sing beans,"
not "tootie-pootie beans."

Tootie-pootie beans?
Ugh, not again.

You remember
what happened last time

you ate tootie-pootie beans?

[all clamoring]

And to think that
the day began so hilarious

yet ended very, very badly.

Well, as the name implies,
sing beans are a musical food.

The better you
cook them, the better

they sing when you serve them.

If I sing, too, will that
help them cook better?

No, Chowder, I don't think--

♪ Beans beans beans ♪

♪ Green yellow and brown
beans beans beans ♪

♪ I gobble all of them down ♪

♪ Toot toot toot
after I eat..♪

Shnitzel, hurry,
bring in the next scene!

♪ ...dreams
beans beans beans ♪♪♪

First, we must extract them.

[slushes]

Now to add some extra
musical ingredients.

Chowder, if you please?

[belches]

Thank you, Chowder.

We'll start with an ounce
of folk.

[playing guitar]

[splattering]

[guitar crashes]

Maybe a pinch of salsa.

[belches]

[burps]

[salsa music]

[splattering]

Ooh, and a touch of reggae
would be nice.

[belching]

[thuds]

[reggae music]

[splattering]

Well, I think that's it.

Oh, oh, wait.
Where is it?

It's got to be in here.

[rustling]

Ahh, there it is.

We can't forget
a little bit of flavor.

[splash]

That should do it.

It'll take a whole night
of cooking

before the dish is ready.

The beans must simmer
at a very even temperature

with constant supervision.

We'll all work in shifts.

Let's draw straws to see who
works first.

[squeaks]

Ooh, good straw, Chowder.

That's gonna be hard to beat.
Let's see yours, Shnitzel.

No, no, no, no.
That's terrible.

I don't even know what I'm
looking at.

Radda, radda, radda, radda.

Fine, I'll show you mine.

But just to let you know,
I didn't know

how to draw a straw,
so I drew you drawing a straw.

But if it makes
you feel better

we'll all take
shifts together.

That way, it's fair.

Until I get tired.
Then you're all on your own.

Wait, what?

[squeaking]

[crickets chirping]

[harmonica music]

Well, time to change shifts.

[quirky music]

[harmonica music]

[smacking lips]

So, are they ready now?

- No.
- How about now?

- No.
- What about now?

- No.
- How about now?

- Are they ready now?
- No.

I bet they're ready right now.

- No. No.
- Now, Mung, now?

- No.
- 'Okay, now?'

- 'No.'
- 'How about now?'

- 'No. No.'
- 'Now? Now, Mung?'

- Uh-uh. No.
- Okay, now? What about now?

- Now? How about now?
- No. No.

[slaps, thudding]

[popping]

[quirky music]

[clangs]

[thudding]

[smashes]

Oh, I got it.

Let's all tell jokes
to pass the time!

I'll go first.
I got a real doozy.

I love doozies!

So, what's the..

[snickering]

So, what's the difference--

[laughs]

I said, what's the difference
between chopped beef..

[giggling]

And pea soup?

[Chowder laughing]

Wait for it. Wait for it..

Everyone can chop beef,
but no one can pee soup!

Eh? Eh?

[soup boiling]

[boink]

You lied.
That wasn't a doozy.

Your turn, Shnitzel.

Radda, radda, radda.
Radda, radda.

Oh, I'm sure
it's perfectly fine

to tell around small children.
Go on, go on.

Radda. Radda.
Radda, radda, radda.

Radda, radda, radda.

Radda, radda, radda.

Radda, radda, radda, radda!

Oh, my! Shnitzel, you
naughty, naughty boy!

You-- Whoo, whoo, whoo!

I don't understand.
So, why did--

Ah, we'll talk about it later!

- When you're older!
- But--

When you're older!

Ooh, my turn!
I got a good one.

So, a duck walked
into a restaurant..

Wait, I think it was a hyena.
Definitely a hyena.

No, no, a duck.

So, a duck walks into a
restaurant and orders a steak.

Or was it spaghetti?

[Chowder]
'No, that doesn't sound right.'

'Maybe it wasn't
even food he ordered.'

'Could have just walked
in there to get some water.'

'I don't know.
Let's just say it was steak.'

So, get this, the hyena
says to the waiter..

"Put it on my bill!"

Wait, no, it was a duck.

You know what,
let me start all over.

[both snoring]

Mung.

Shnitzel?

[gasps]

It's the beans!

I wonder if they're
almost ready.

I'll just take a quick peek.

[all]
♪ la-la-la-la-la ♪♪♪

[beans singing continues]

[chomping]

[belches]

You guys taste like sweat socks
and not the good kind.

Hey, maybe I can teach you guys
a better song.

I know this great one about
beans and tooting.

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!

[clanks]

[beans singing continues]

[lid crashes]

[clinking]

Let's get warmed up.

[crickets chirping]

[crash]

[yawns]

I think we got it.

Now, let's put it all together

and hear what it sounds like.

And a-one, and a-two, and a..

♪ Said everyone's got
a song inside ♪

That's right, that's right.

♪ It's waiting to be free ♪

Yeah.

♪ Don't you know I said ♪

[country music]

♪ Everyone's got a song inside
waiting to be free ♪

♪ The beans are here
to show the way ♪

♪ Come on and follow me ♪

♪ Everyone's got a song inside
waiting to be free ♪

Wait! Come back!

♪ The beans are here
to show the way ♪

♪ Come on and follow me ♪

♪ So flap your gums
and move your lips ♪

♪ Let me hear you shout ♪
♪ Let me hear you shout ♪

♪ Release that song
you have inside ♪

♪ That's what it's all about ♪

♪ Everyone's got a song inside
waiting to be free ♪

♪ The beans are here
to show the way ♪

♪ Come on and follow me ♪

♪ Everyone's got a song inside
waiting to be free ♪

♪ The beans are here
to show the way ♪

♪ Come on and follow me ♪

♪ So flap your gums
and move your lips ♪

♪ Let me hear you shout ♪
♪ Let me hear you shout ♪

♪ Release that song
you have inside ♪

♪ That's what it's all about ♪

♪ Everyone's got a song
inside waiting to be free ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ The beans are here
to show the way ♪

♪ Come on and follow me ♪

♪ Everyone's got a song inside
waiting to be free ♪

♪ The beans are here
to show the way ♪

♪ Come on and follow me ♪

♪ Everyone's got a song inside
waiting to be free ♪

I said, waiting to be free!

♪ The beans are here
to show the way ♪

♪ Come on and follow ♪

♪ Me-e-e-e-e ♪

♪ Come on and follow
with them! ♪

- 'Whoo!'
- 'Yeah.'

♪ Follow me ♪♪♪

Gotta follow with them.

[growls]

[chomping]

[burps]

Uh-oh.

[clattering]

[Mung Daal]
'Chowder?'

'Chowder! Chowder!'

I can't seem to find him
or the beans.

And my back is k*lling me
from sleeping on the floor.

There you are!
What happened to the beans?

[burps]

[quirky music]

[host]
'I hope you all
really like tonight's show.'

I mean, really,
because I can't handle

any more
disappointment in my life.

[crying]

So here they are,
the fabulous sing beans!

[cheers and applause]

[band music playing]

♪ Everyone's got a song
inside waiting to be free ♪

♪ Radda radda radda! ♪

♪ ...come on and follow me! ♪

♪ Let me hear you sing ♪

♪ Everyone's got a song
inside waiting to be free ♪

♪ Radda radda! ♪♪♪

Remember when you said
this was gonna be fun?

Well, you lied.

[music closes]

Chowder, do you know what
separates us from animals?

- That fence?
- Well, yes.

- But cuisine also separates us.
- How's that?

Our tastes
are greatly developed.

[Mung Daal]
We cannot be satisfied
with just any old mush.

- Wha?
- Oh, nothing.

We're making calzoninis today!

And what does
this have to do with animals?

Forget about the animals,
Chowder.

Never forget the animals, Mung!

Never forget!

Can we please get back
to the recipe?

Sure?

Now I forgot
what we were making.

I think it had
something to do with animals.