04x08 - Ladies' Night Out

[bunniefuu]

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives down stairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there
just to take good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our
wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our
wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want I want
Charles in charge of me ♪ ♪

Is this cool, or what?

It's cool if you've got a date
with Satan.

I really don't know why
you're going to all this
trouble, Jamie.

Well,
you should be doing it, too!

Where's your sense
of adventure?

My sense of adventure
doesn't include
clogging my pores.

What's the point, anyway?
Grampa will never let you go
to Club Dread!

Well, he might.
Especially if he doesn't know

that Club Dread
is an after-hours rock club.

But, he will!

You've got to tell him
the truth!

Oh, I plan
to tell him the truth.

I just won't bore him
by throwing in a lot of
unimportant words,

like after-hours, rock, club,
and dread.

[ Knocking on door ]

Hi, it's Charles and Buddy!

We're doing repairs
around the house

and your window's
next on our list.

I'm not here! Go Away!

Uh, Jamie I respect your need
for privacy.

Good!
That's why I'm giving you

ten seconds
before I open the door.

Ten, nine, eight,
three, two, one.

Hey. Where's Jamie?

Oh, there she is Charles.

She's either vacuuming
with her mouth,

or she's been run over
by a bed.

Hey, Jamie.
Look, you okay?

Oh, yeah.
I just lost something.

Ahhh!

Wha-wha-what did you lose
a couple of pints of blood?

Jamie, you can't walk around
the house looking like that!

Oh, I'm not.
I'm going out.

Out?
As in, out of this room?

As in, out to a party.

No, no, not looking like that,
you're not.
No way.

Well, Charles,
where I'm going,

they won't let you in
unless you look like this.

Ya know,
I think she looks great.

All right, you hear that?
Buddy likes it.

Now if Buddy likes
your make-up,
you're not wearing it.

No way!
Forget it!

Well,
who died and made you king?

Yea,
who died and made you king?

Buddy, go work on the window.

I'll stay over here
and work on the pain.
Okay?

Yes, your majesty.

Jamie,
I'm in charge around here,

and I'm telling you,

you're not going anywhere
looking like that.

Well,
you're not the boss over me!

If Grampa says yes,
you can't say no!

Uh, oh, yeah, well,
did your grandfather say yes?

Well, not yet.

Well, then, ask him.
And when you ask him,

you know what he's gonna say
to you?

He's gonna say,
"You're going to this party

over my dead body!"

Okay.
Well then, I will ask him.

Alright.
Hey Charles, I can't believe
I got the window open.

All right, good, thanks Buddy.
Let's go.

Now remember these words,
Jamie.

"You will go to this party
over my dead body."

Good day.

Well, happy?

No, I'm very angry!

Charles had no right to treat
you like some dumb little kid!

How much time do I have
to get ready for this party?

You mean you want to go?

I've got to.
It's the only way

to express my solidarity
with you!

Great!

But, if Grampa says no, are
you prepared to sneak out?

Why not?
It would be good
for my writing career.

The experience of the club
the sneaking in and out
of the house...

Getting caught
and viciously punished,

all because your
little brother told on you.

You wouldn't.

Sure I would.

I'd be a genetic freak
if I didn't.

It's what I live for.

Adam, darling, would ten
dollars impair your memory?

I spit on ten dollars!
Forget it!

There's nothing you can give
me that will buy my silence.

Oh, not even a date
with Kelly Munroe?

Kelly Munroe?

I can't even get a date with
Kelly Munroe in my dreams.

Well, I can get you one.

And, I can even show you
how to kiss her.

You will?

I'd die for a kiss
from Kelly Munroe!

Wait a minute.

You're going to show me
how to kiss her?

You mean,
I'd have to kiss you first?

No, Adam!

I wouldn't kiss your lips
if you ripped them off

and stuck them on
George Michael's face!

What I meant was,

is I could teach you
how to get Kelly to kiss you.

You know, in fact,
if you keep quiet,

I guarantee that you
can kiss Kelly Munroe.

For a kiss from Kelly Munroe,
my lips are sealed.

You've got a lot to learn.

We can!
I know!

That smells mighty good,
Lillian.

I almost wish I could skip
my J.P.J. election

and, uh, stay home for dinner.

Well,
can't you be a little late?

Oh, no Lillian.

I mean, if you're late,
they don't pipe you aboard

or let you ring the bell.

Oh!
Then you have something

worth starving for.
I can't stay either.

I have to get back
to the diner.

Oh, well when you're ready
to go, I'm gonna walk you
to the car.

There's been a report of a
prowler in the neighborhood.

No!
[ Muffled screaming ]

Oh, Buddy, Buddy.
Relax your face, Buddy.

Relax it!

He was, um, never mind.

Well, it looks like a bad time
to work on the sink, huh, Mom?

Uh, yes it is sweetheart.
I've got dinner going already.

Oh, Charles, since Ellen
isn't going to be home

tonight, you're gonna have to
stay home and watch the kids.

Oh, that'll be no problem,
Mr. Powell.

Charles and I
can keep an eye on the kids

while we finish
doing our repairs.

Oh, I, I thought you had a
date tonight.

Oh, actually I have
three dates tonight Charles.

But, they don't start
until 11 o'clock.

You're insane, Lembeck!

You know, you could get
in a lot of trouble

making a date with three women
at the same time.

Oh, don't worry Mr. Powell.

With my luck,
only two of them will show up.

Charles, make sure
the doors are locked tonight.

Yes, sir.

Oh, and the windows too!

Walter told me
there was a prowler.

Ooh, I can't stand the thought
of some weird psychopath

sneaking around
the neighborhood.

Aaahhhh!

Hi!
We were just talking
about you.

Good lord!
What happened to you?

Nothing, why?

Oh, oh, you mean the make-up!

Well, it's for Sarah.

You did all that
just to scare your sister?

No, um, oh!

I just thought I'd take Sarah
to a little party tonight.

Ya know, poor Sarah

never gets to meet
any interesting people.

Well, Jamie, I'm proud of you
for being concerned

with your sister's happiness,
but it is a school night.

Oh, oh,
I promise all our homework

will be done before we go.

Oh, before we go?

And uh, uh, wha-what time
does this party start?

Wel... later.

How late?

Kind of late.

Well, whose house is this kind
of late party being held in?

Technically, it's not a house.

It's, uh,
you might call it a club.

Does this club have a name?

Yeah, um, it's Club Med,

or Club fed, or Club Shred,
or something like that.

[ both ]
Club Dread!

Club Dread?

Well, actually
it's a pretty nice place

for an after-hours
rock and roll club.

After-hours?
Rock club?

Jamie, you're going to this
party over my dead body!

Yes!

I love myself sometimes.

Oh, okay, Grampa.
I just thought I'd ask.

Charles, I'm holding you
personally responsible

that the kids
do their homework,

and that they get to bed
early tonight!

Yes, sir.
It'll be my pleasure.

Do you hear that, Jamie?
Charles is in charge.

You just follow his orders.

Oh yeah, Grampa!
You know I would never

do anything
Charles wouldn't want me to.

Everything is cooking,
sweetheart.

All you have to do
is serve it.

Okay, well I'm off!
Just remember, Charles,

you are in charge!
An-and, if anything goes wrong,

heh, heh, heh,
you're in trouble.

Jamie never gives in
that easily, Buddy.

We have a major problem here.

Jamie's gonna break out
tonight!

Yeah, well, too much make-up
will do that.

You're getting worse,
you know that?

Okay, Grampa is gone,

so all we have to do
is outsmart Charles.

How are we gonna outsmart
Charles?

It won't be easy,
but it is three against one,

and we already have
a head start.

Ladies,
does Adam owe you money?

Oh, no.

Then, why you talking to him?

Well, um, well,we weren't!
No, he was talking to us.

Right, we're ignoring him.

Let's go upstairs.

Right.
That way you can ignore me

without all these
interruptions.

All right, Buddy.

They brought Adam
into this thing now.

This is w*r!
Total w*r!

But Charles, if you know
they're planning to sneak out,

why not let them know
that you know

and that'll be the ned of it!
No, no, no, Buddy.

They'll just deny it.
I gotta catch them in the act.

But, you heard
what Mr. Powell said.

If the girls sneak out tonight,

he's gonna hold you
responsible.

They're not gonna
sneak out, Buddy.

And they're not gonna
outsmart me!

Now, what we have to do
is figure out
what their scheme is.

I have a feeling that Jamie
knows that I'm on to her.

Okay, I can tell
that Charles is on to us!

So, we've got to move quickly!

See, they're gonna try
and confuse me

with something simple like,
like the old cat and mouse
game.

First,
we have to confuse Charles.

We'll play the old
cat and mouse game.

And then,
then they'll complicate it

by getting caught on purpose
pretending it's over.

But, it won't be.

Then, we'll let Charles
catch us sneaking out,

pretend to give up, and he'll
think the whole thing is over.

Then, what they'll do
is throw in some
little distraction.

Then, we need
some small distraction.

And then, they'll make
their big move, Buddy.

Then, one final move
and then...

And then...

[ Together ]
I've got them!
We've got him!

Uh, Charles, I'm tired
of running all over the house

playing cat and mouse.

Can't we play another game
like, like Mr. Potatohead?

Buddy, Mr. Potatohead
is not a game.

It's your life.

Now we have to wait for,
for their move.

All right?

Sarah!
Is the coast clear?

Yes!

That's it!
Okay, buddy,
you take the front door,

I'll take the back door!
Go!

I hate this game!

I can't believe it!

Charles is guarding
the back door!

Let's try the front door.

Aha!

Oh, no!

Buddy has the front door
covered!

I give up!

We'll have to cancel
the mission.

Ohh!

The girls went back upstairs,
Charles!

Oh, you see I told you
I knew them, Buddy!

Now, now we have to wait
for the distraction!

Charles.
I really need your help.

Will you proof read my essay
on the Revolutionary w*r?

Adam, my man.
I would be honored to.

Buddy didn't you leave
something in the living room?

Oh! Right!

All right, let's see
what we got here, Adam.

Um, huh, oh, h* h* h* h*, whoa,
h* h* h*, oh, very good!

Very impressive Adam!
I especially liked the way

you handled, uh, Washington's
Farewell Address.

It was very touching.

Ah, thanks.

You're welcome.

Charles, the girls
were on their way out again!

And when they saw me
they went back upstairs!

They gave up!
The game's over!

We can get back
to our normal lives!

No, no, no, Buddy,
the game is not over!

They still have to make
their big move!

Now, we gotta keep our eyes
peeled.

Mr. Powell!
You're home early!

Ah, they had to call off
the election!

Why?
What happened?

Ah, huh, huh.
One of the candidates
had a last minute emergency!

The battery in his pacemaker
went dead, then he went dead.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,
sir.

Why?
Did you know him?
No.

Well, then snap out of it,
Charles.

Yes, sir.
Everything all right here?

Uh, yes, sir!
No Problems!

Well I'm glad to hear it.
I'm just gonna finish my paper

before lights out.
Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Okay, Charles.
Back to the game!

Ah, Buddy, the game's over.
Mr. Powell's home.

The kids aren't gonna try
to sneak out now,
with him in the house!

We're home free!

Okay.
If you're not worried
about Adam carrying the ladder

past the window,
then it doesn't bother me.

I don't care about Adam.
Ladder!

Buddy!
It's a jailbreak!

All right, girls!
the jig is up!

Charles, the jig isn't up!
The ladder's up!

Oh, no, Buddy!
Worse than that!

Mr. Powell is up
and if he finds out

that the girls are down,
my number is gonna be up!

There they go, Charles!

Sarah, Jamie!
You guys are busted!

Buddy, Pull me in!

We gotta head them off
before the hit the street!

Something is going on,
I can feel it.

I knew it!
I knew we'd get caught!

Sarah, just hurry, okay.
Charles is right behind us!

We should never
have sneaked out!

We didn't sneak out, Sarah!

If we had sneaked out,
we wouldn't be here!

All right Buddy!

[ Knocking ]

Aha!

Girls!

Just wanted to make sure
that you were...

Waaaahhh!

What was that?
The prowler!

Oh, girls, you stay
right where you are!

I'm gonna call the police!
Nine, uh...

[ Girls ]
One, one!

I know that.

[ Knocking ]

[ Knocking ]

Who is it?
Police, open up!

This guy says he lives here.
Charles?

You recognize him?

No! I call everyone Charles!

Course I recognize him!
What were you doing outside?

I, I, uh, I, I thou, I thought
I heard the prowler.

Did you see anybody?
Yes. I saw the policeman.

What about the guy
that was chasing you?

Someone was chasing you?
No, No, I was chasing him!

He was behind you.

I'm very fast.

Here's your prowler.

I caught him
three blocks from here.

He was running
like a scared rabbit!

H-hi, hi, hi, hi, Mr. Powell.

You know this guy?

I've never seen him before
in my life.

He just called you Mr. Powell.

Lucky guess!

I know him, officer.

Yeah?

Well, I don't know you!

This guy looks like a prowler!
He was carrying this!

Sir, that's a plunger.

He pointed it at me.

You see?
Use a plunger, go to prison!

Book him!

But, Mr. Powell!
It's me Buddy!

I don't care!
What were you doing outside?

Well, first I was running
like a scared rabbit,

a-and then I was
getting caught,

a-and then I was
getting handcuffed...

Oh, let him go officer!

He's not a prowler,
he's an idiot!

Okay.

See. He recognized me.

Oh--

But, this could be classified
as a lethal weapon.

Come on, Ken.
Let's check around the house.

You attacked a cop
with a plunger?

What's wrong with you!
Oh, come on, Charles!

Are you out of your mind!
It wasn't loaded.

Now, wait, wait, wait!
While you two are bickering,

I'm gonna go check
on the kids.

No, no, sir! No, No.
Let, let me check on the kids.

I'm fairly sure
that they're in bed.

Yeah, I mean,
it's not like they're climbing
out the window or anything.

Right! Right! Right, right!
I would love

to just go upstairs
and tuck the little tykes in,

and make sure
they're unconscious.

I'll check on the kids!

Whoa!
What?

Did you hear that, Mr. Powell?
What, hear what?

It's a noise!
Noise!

Sounded like a prowler noise
coming from outside
Mr. Powell!

Prowler! Prowler!
There's a noise from outside!

Open the door!
Open that door!

All right, Buddy.

All right, I'm gonna go
upstairs and make sure

that the kids are here.
Okay?

Wait, wait!
What about the prowler?

If you see him,
hit him with the plunger.

Okay!

Ow!
Lembeck, you're a dead man!

I promise you, Buddy!

I promise, Jamie is gonna do
hard time for this!

And she will, Charles.

All you have to do is tell
Mr. Powell what happened.

Yeah, I'm gonna tell him
all right.

But you know what's gonna
happen?

They're gonna come in here
and try to blame
this whole thing on each other.

Well, it's not gonna work!
See, I'm gonna sit them down

in front of Mr. Powell
and I'm gonna burn 'em.

I don't blame you, Charles.
Neither do I.

They're gonna have to learn
that, that my decisions

and my rules are important!

And, somehow, I'm gonna have
to make that clear to them.

Okay.
How about a puppet show?

I do different voices.

Tell you what.
Why don't you save those

for your three dates later.
Okay?

Do me a favor.
Could you ask Mr. Powell
to come in here.

Oh. sure.

Ooh, I'd hate to be you.

Well, well, well!

The mice have returned
to the sinking ship, huh?

Charles,
I have something to say.

Let's hear it.

Well, I'm sorry that you
got caught by the police
and I'm sorry about tonight.

Trying to sneak out
of the house to go to the club

after you said no
was a horrible thing to do.

And, it's all my fault.

Don't get cute with me, Jamie!

Don't, I, I'm on to you!

You say
that it was all your fault,

but now you're gonna show me
how it was all Sarah's fault,
huh?

No, I'm not.

Jamie, it was my fault.

You wouldn't even have tried,
if I hadn't pushed you
into it!

Oh. Ah, I get it!

The two ladies
are banding together here!

That's what it is.
And, you're gonna,

you're gonna blame
the whole thing on Adam, huh?

But, I deserve the blame,
Charles!

I got the ladder.
I arranged the whole thing.

I mean, I even blackmailed
them to buy my silence.

It was all my fault.

No, Adam.
I coerced you into
participating.

It was my fault.

What do you mean?
I talked him into helping us!

Wait...
It's all my fault!

Wait, whoa, wait, whoa, wait!
Wait a minute!

Here comes the judge.

Charles, what do you want.

Jamie, Sarah, Charles!

What are they doing
in that make-up?

Well, sir, it, it, it was all
my idea.

You see, I, um,

I saw how grotesque
Jamie looked in that make-up

and then I decided, you know,
to put Sarah in the make-up to

see who would look grotesquer.

You know, uh,
like for Halloween.

Charles, it isn't Halloween!

You know, he's right,
Mr. Powell.

You should try that make-up!

I bet you'd win first
and second prize

in the grotesque category!

You brought me here for this?

Kids,got to bed!
Charles, go to work!

Lembeck, got to... Beirut!

But Mr. Powell.
If I go to Beirut,

who will fix your toilet?

But, Charles.
You didn't tell on us!

I know.
And I had good reason not to.

You see, uh, you guys
threw me for a loop, you know.

A year ago, you'd a blamed
this whole thing on each other,
and, and you didn't.

You know, you kinda banded
together and, uh,

I'm proud of you.

Wow! Thanks, Charles!
Yeah! You're okay, Charles!

I can't believe it!
You mean were free?

Yeah, you're free,
for tonight.
Enjoy it!

Because for the next
three weeks,
there'll be no dating,

no going out on school nights,
and no going anywhere
on weekends!

That's not fair, Charles!
That covers my first date
with Kelly Munroe!

How can you do this to us?
Well...

Come on, Charles!
I thought you weren't mad?

I-- I'm not mad.
I'm not mad, but if you
want to live in this world,

you break the rules,
you gotta pay for it.

Now, If I hear
any more whining,

I'm gonna give your grandfather
and your mother a two-paged,

single-spaced, written report
on the whole deal.

Okay?

Hey, I didn't whine.
Did you whine Sarah?

No, I didn't whine.

Me neither!
Let's go to bed guys!

Good night.

Thanks, Charles.

You're welcome.

Get outta here.

You know, I think Mr. Powell's
getting grouchier.

He just tried
to close a toilet seat
on my head.

Well, should we
get back to work?

No way, No!
I've worked enough
for one night.

Oh, okay.
Well then, you can have
your plunger back.

Thanks.
You know,
if you ever figure out

what that's used for,
let me know.

What do you want to do?

I don't know.
I feel like going out
and having some fun.

Oh, great!
Where?

You said you were meeting...

three ladies
around 11 o'clock.

You know,
don't you think they, uh...

Yeah?
You know.

Oh.

How thoughtless of me,
Charles!

Would you like to join us?

Well, if you insist, Buddy!

Great!
Let's go!

Hey, maybe one of my dates
can find a girlfriend for you!

Come here, Buddy.
Let me show you
what this thing is used for.

Hey.
Adam, what are you doing up?

Oh, Charles.
I was waiting for you.

I want to make a deal.

No deals.

Charles, you can't keep me
here for three weeks.

I had a date with Kelly Munroe!

I can't help you, pal.
You broke the rules.

I's a matter of principle.

But, I was gonna kiss her!

I'm sorry.
It's a matter of principle.

Okay.

So where did you go tonight?

Buddy and I went out.

With girls?

Yeah, there where girls there.

But, you didn't kiss
any of them right?

All right.
I told you that,

that you couldn't go out
for three weeks.

I didn't say anything
about Kelly Munroe
not coming over here.

Oh thanks, Charles!
All right.

Now I hope
you learned something
from all this, Adam.

Oh yeah, I did!
I learned that kissing

is more important
than principle.

You got it.

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our
days and our nights ♪

♪Charles in charge of our
wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪ ♪