01x04 - Rätselhafter Fall

[bunniefuu]

God, this accounting stuff
is gonna take forever.

Good thing you got me for moral support.
- Mmh.

What does a clown
do at the office?

Juggle responsibilites!

Jokes like that were already
unfunny when you were alive.

I do what I can.

Funny. Any more funny
emojis hidden somewhere?

Just in case the woman from the tax office asks.
- Maybe.

Hello. Did you get lost?

Uh. You could say...

Could be.

Your colleagues are
one floor below.

Ah, colleagues. Yes.

Okay, thanks.

Last one. What do electricians
chant when they meditate?

In German he made a untranslatable
joke about electricians having short dicks

Not funny.

Subtitle: WDR mediagroup GmbH on behalf of WDR
translation: rovermcfly beta reader: average-imperfection

Welcome to our
little group, dear...

Ralf. Hello, Ralf.

Ralf. How nice.
- We'll see about that.

How did the breath
of life leave you?

Um...
- Boom.

Were you struck down?

Did you have a heart attack?

Poisoned? Were you poisoned?

I didn't know I was dying, or else
I would've made sure to remember.

Next time then.

And I'm staying
here now or what?

Is this heaven?

Some move on.

Others remain firmly connected
to the place where they died.

Yes, like Dolores, who died
in her carriage, remember?

And now she travels from one
wedding to the next in it.

I'd rather be in hell.

Honestly, we don't really
understand it ourselves yet.

But I've only been
here for over 20 years.

200.
- 2000.

Ah, 2 million.

I need a drink.

Anyone got a bottle opener?

Who's gonna tell him?

Well. Botch job, huh?

Hey. Working hard or hardly working?
- Mhm.

I think I'll take care
of the baseboards today.

If you say so. It's your house.

Exactly, I'm a bit
of a handyman myself

as you've probably
already noticed.

Before you arrived, I did
most of the work myself.

And so far no complaints.

So that was you with
the power cable?

Yep.
- Okay.

Why? Is there a problem?

If you staple a poorly
insulated cable to a damp wall?

Yes, there is a problem.

Oh, the wall is damp?
- Damp would be putting it mildly.

Because some botcher connected two water
pipes without a seal on the second floor.

Was that also your work?
- Hmm?

No, that wasn't me. That was
someone else, some botcher.

Well. It's no surprise that there's
no water coming out of the tap.

Word.

120 euros for screws?

Oh Felix...
- So you guys can really get screwing, hm?

Get it?

Emma. There's something
you should know about.

That renovating such a huge thing is really
freaking expensive? Thanks I already know.

We have a new legionary in our ranks.
- The number of ghosts has increased.

Nah. Yea.

Huh?

Whatever you're trying to
say, I didn't understand.

Not even I understood that

And I knew what
they wanted to say.

Oh. You still haven't found your colleagues?
- Nope.

I'll show you in a sec.

Hello. Are you Ms. Küper?
- I'm afraid so.

Ferhat Ertem. Chief Inspector.

Oh. Okay.

Did something happen?

Do you know this man?

Yes. He was on the
stairs a second ago.

Very good. May I come
in and speak to him?

Of course.

Here you go.

Emma.
- Not now.

My phone is vibrating,
but not now.

He is dead.
- Who's dead?

Why do you think
someone is dead?

Because when the police show up at your
door it's because somebody died, right?

At least that's how it is on TV.

The question is just, who is dead?
- Ralf is dead.

Let that be my concern. So
where can I find this gentleman?

My warning word went unheard.
- I'll show you in a second.

I just put the kettle on in the
kitchen, please excuse me for a moment.

Dead? Why are you dead?

Sorry.
- Sorry, that wasn't meant to sound like an accusation.

Do
you have a bottle opener?

I don't want to speak of the
devil but... Although, yes.

I do want to speak of the devil.

His body must be somewhere here.

And if the police
finds it... Oh.

Oh.
- Oh. You, my beloved.

If they lock you away infernally,
I will wait for you... Forever.

Eternally.
- At least I wouldn't have to pay these bills.

It good?
- Mhm.

It's called irony, Urs.

I-o-y.

Alright.
- And?

And what?
- What kind of tea did you make?

A hot tea. It still
needs to steep.

Um, but why are you looking
for this Ralf anyway?

You know his name?
- Um. No.

But aren't all construction
workers always called Ralf? Right?

You wanna know why I'm looking for
Ralf Wagner? There's been a m*rder.

He was m*rder*d?
- What as*h*le did it?

No, but he was involved in a bar
fight with the victim shortly before.

Ah, right, but the
other guy started it.

You have...

...the suspicion that Ralf
Wagner k*lled someone?

What? No.
- I'd like to ask him that question myself.

So where is he?

Yes, where is he?

It would be great if
someone could find him.

Because then we would
know where he is,

and act accordingly.

You're acting very
strangely, Ms Küper.

I would like to question
Mr. Wagner's colleagues, if I may?

It would be a bit suspicious
if I said no, right?

Right, come with me.

Forget about
your electric drill.

You'll need your
hammer drill.

Hey guys. I've got everything under
control. I definitely can paint.

Paintbrush is my middle name.

Uh, that sounded weird, but...

Oh sh*t.

Alright. This is the
kitchen. Take a look around.

Why should I want
to look around?

Isn't that what
police officers do?

And it can never hurt
to take a look around.

Who knows what you'll find.

Didn't you say you made tea?

Hm? Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Someone must have drunk it. And
the police should investigate.

Listen, I had nothing to do with
Ralf Wagner's death. I swear.

Stupid!
- Why do you assume that Ralf Wagner is dead?

Hmm?
- I get the feeling you're hiding something.

Maybe we should look for my body.
- Of course!

Not. Of course not, I'm not
hiding anything from you.

Oh, there's one of 'em!

Excuse me, Inspector
Something wants to...

Come... talk to you.

When did you last see Mr. Wagner?
- Ralf? Wow.

We need to get him off the property
until we get this sorted out.

Just confess. You won't be able to endure
t*rture for more than 5 minutes, believe me.

There's no more t*rture, Griet.

At least not without
paying for it.

I would consult an
advocatus. An advocatus is...

I know what that is! But
I don't need a lawyer.

I wouldn't be so sure
about that, Ms. Küper.

The construction workers don't
know where Mr. Wagner is.

I gave them the day off so that they won't
interfere with the further investigations.

Further investigations?

Is there anyone
else in the house?

Hm?

Felix?
- I know you're gonna k*ll me but

I've left traces and I
have to get rid of them.

Do you have chlorine or bleach?

I'm covering everything in plastic so it doesn't happen again.
- Traces?

Even I'm starting to think you
have something to do with my death.

Unbelievable that someone really could
have been m*rder*d here in cold blood.

I can believe it just fine.

Ms. Küper?
- Yes.

My colleagues located
his cell phone.

It's last location
was your property.

I must ask you to come with me
to the station for a statement.

Emma? Felix can help us
find the corpus delicti,

until you come back.

Felix? Could you please go
looking for that one pending bill?

If there were only one, but that can wait.
- No.

Baby, that you can even
think about that right now.

I mean that one ♪stiff♪ bill.

Which is lost
somewhere in the house.

Huh?

Will you please come along?

Dude, go and look for the body!

Ah, I see. ♪Stiff♪ bill,

I should have gotten that.
He really should have.

Well, where am I
supposed to look?

Are you there? Hmm.

I think I died somewhere upstairs.
I was working there today.

Good. Then just tell him that.

Hey...
- Hello!

We need a plan. A good
plan wins the battle.

I have an idea.

Okay. Is that a sign?

Or did I connect
that cable wrong too?

If this is a sign,
give me a sign.

Stupid.

Okay.

And now?
- How can you fall in love with such a dolt?

He's good in bed. I've heard.

And seen.
- Focus on the plan.

Super cool.

And
super scary. Um...

Ah. You'll help me look?

Thanks, Joachim.
That's you, right?

Ah, cramp. Cramp!
- Focus. Focus.

Up?

I see.

He fell off a ladder.

It's going great.

I-o-y.

Ah. Second floor?

Let's go.

He's never gonna find you.

- Do you think he'll do it?
- Acta non verba.

He speaks more than he acts.

How would I have ended
up in the wardrobe?

Relax. There might
be a corpse in there.

But hey, there are worse
things. Two corpses, for example

Or three. Or...

Heavens above.

For f*ck's...
Language.

You're a scaredy cat! NOTE: In German
it's rabbits not cats who are scared.

If I were dead, I wouldn't
be afraid of a corpse either.

Sure, yeah completely normal
sentences. Just stuff people say.

I-o-y.

Clear!

Ah! Ah!

Ah. Ah, ah.

Nothing.

It was just Lotti.

You're lucky you can't
sh*t your pants anymore.

- Ah.
- What? Speak.

I was on the toilet.
Just before I died.

Ah. Maybe lightning struck him
while he was taking a sh*t.

A-a.
- Yeah.

Okay. Got it.

Ah, no, nothing. Thank God.

After I took a leak I wanted to wash my hands.
- Commendable.

But the
water didn't work.

No idea what you want.

If you put two water pipes
together without a seal,

you shouldn't be surprised if
no water comes out of the tap.

My hand was all soapy.

But there were no towels.

sh*t.

And then I just went back to
work. Where was that?

At the window. Here
on the second floor.

A window? On the second
floor? Yes.

With footprints?
- Yes!

Of course.

Good communication,
so important.

Soap.

Right, now I remember.

I threw an old carpet
into the container.

And I wanted to hold on there.

Alea iacta est. The die has
fallen. And so has Ralf.

Oh, that doesn't look
good. I think he's dead.

Stupid.

My condolences. Um, or
what do you say? Um...

I'll just make a
quick phone call.

Even if we are of
different status,

I from the highest,
you from the lowest,

We are united by the
same path to death.

- Huh?
- "Pardon?"?

I also fell out of a window.

Ah. Oh. sh*t.
- Language.

How did it happen?

You certainly weren't a construction worker, were you?
- No.

You threw yourself down.
- Humbug.

I was pushed.

Why?

Spring had just
arrived at Donnerhall.

It was a moonlit night.

Hans, my husband, and
I, we argued once again.

It was an open secret that he was
committing sins with the maid.

Ah, you mean...
- Exactly.

What shame it cast upon us,
upon the house, upon me.

I said to him:

"Cease this, or I'll go
to my brother, the duke.

He will take away your title

and send you into exile."

Then I went to the
window to close it.

Then I felt his hand on my back.

What a piece of sh*t.
- Language.

But yes.

At first I thought
he wanted to hug me.

Silly me.

But instead...

It's not fair.

The last thing I saw were
the first delicate crocuses,

onto which I fell.

And?

Are you feeling better now?

After you went...
to the other side?

Better? In what way?

Well, you got rid of the idiot

and you don't have
to argue anymore.

Ah.

I haven't thought
about it that way.

But yes.

Yes, actually better
in that respect.

Well, you see?

-Thank you - You're welcome.

It's strange that a seasoned
construction worker is not able to

to hold on to a window.

But he probably had the
wrong thing for breakfast.

Yes.

Will you be available if we
have any further questions?

Sure, we're here. If we don't
fall out the window too.

Beautiful property. You
should rent it out for events.

Well then.

Woah, so glad we
got rid of that guy.

How could he seriously believe that we
had anything to do with Ralf's death?

Totally.

I wonder how
Ralf is doing now?

He didn't even say goodbye.

Even though he was of low
social standing, I liked him.

He's really letting
it rip up there.

It's a pity we didn't
see him ascend.

Take care, Ralf.
Take care.

This is some goddamned bullshit.

Does anyone have
a bottle opener?