[vehicles honking in the distance]
[man 1] Guys! Congratulations!
You're finally married now.
-[man 2] Congratulations!
-[woman 1] Yeah!
-You're late as usual.
-You know parking is always a struggle.
He has gone completely mute.
-At least someone in the group got…
-[man 3] Hey, congratulations!
-Thank you. Thank you. Same to you.
-[man 3] Thank you.
Don't worry. Marriage is not a big deal.
[man 3 chuckles nervously]
[scoffs awkwardly]
-Shall we do this?
-Absolutely.
-You're sure right?
-[woman] Hmm.
Yeah, now that we've decided,
let's go for it.
[sighs] Yeah!
[people chatting in hushed voices]
So both of you want a divorce
by mutual consent?
-Yes.
-What I really want
is a small, cute, healthy four-kilo baby.
But even for that,
mutual consent is required, right, madam?
And she's not consenting.
[funky music playing]
I'm kidding.
-But she's not kidding.
-Why're you not kidding?
-Hmm?
-I mean, [splutters] sorry!
-You don't want a child?
-No.
Didn't I tell you before?
"Don't get married to this girl."
Your horoscopes don't match at all.
-But you just didn't listen.
-Mom, yaar!
Can you please relax a bit?
-Have some water.
-I feel like slapping him!
[woman] What are you doing?
Stop being emotional.
Divorce is like a heart attack.
Every fourth person is getting one.
And why didn't you allow me to come there?
I would've kept you in control.
You dare try to come here, young lady!
My dream is to see you
at the marriage altar,
not in a divorce court.
Are you really talking
on a video call in my court?
You better disconnect the call right now,
or I'll send all of you
out of this courtroom.
-[hesitates] I'm sorry.
-Sorry, madam.
[music fades]
If you didn't want a child,
why did you get married?
[soft, tender music playing]
I fell in love with him.
I did too.
I dreamed of a different
kind of life with him.
[voice breaking] I did too.
So many hopes and plans.
Appu… [sniffs] forget all this.
We still have time.
Later on, we'll have to get an IVF done.
[tender music stops abruptly]
The reason I don't want a child is because
I'm already raising a child here.
Wow! She's already raising
someone else's child!
Gaurav, [angrily] did you know about this?
-She--
-Living with this man
-is as good as raising a child.
-[Gaurav clicks tongue]
He still asks for pocket money
from his father
-His mother buys underwear for him.
-But I--
And on the rare occasion
when he picks up his own cup after tea,
the whole family behaves as if he's won
the gold medal at the Olympics.
Objection, Your Honour!
I don't even drink tea!
-I only drink coffee, right?
-[both] Yes.
I don't think he knows
why he wants to have a child.
Hey! Don't act too smart, okay?
Madam, can you tell me something?
What is life?
First, we're born, then we go to school,
then we go to college.
Then we get a job, then we get married.
Then we have a baby.
That's what life is, right?
That's not life, it's called
conditioning for a reason.
Madam, how will our lineage continue
if they don't have a child?
This way our species will become extinct!
They are Gehlots, not endangered species
on the verge of extinction.
Man, it's not about extinction
for God’s sake!
Madam, babies bring happiness
in one's life.
I have a friend, Pawan.
Just two years ago, he became a father.
It brought him so much happiness.
-[scoffs]
-Whenever I meet him,
he has a smile on his face,
as if he's doing a toothpaste commercial.
I, too, want that sort
of happiness in my life.
I, too, want a child,
someone who calls me, "Papa, Papa, Papa."
-Madam, I love kids.
-[tender music playing]
I really want my own child.
Ma'am, we already
went through counselling.
My decision is final.
I just don't want a child.
And a marriage without any children
has absolutely no meaning for me.
So, shall we finalize the divorce?
This court grants a decree of divorce,
dissolving the marriage
between the parties.
-[melancholic music plays]
-[Gaurav's dad] It's over.
[voice shaking] Tell me now
how will my sweet Guggu become a papa?
[lively upbeat theme music playing]
[in Hindi] ♪ Single Papa Pa Pa Papa ♪
[upbeat music fades]
[birds chirping]
[low harmonium prelude begins]
[harmonium music gets louder]
[in Hindi] ♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's got a dankness
Lethal as poison ♪
♪ It's poison ♪
♪ It's poison ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's got a dankness
Lethal as poison ♪
-[coyly, in English] Hi! Good morning.
-Good morning.
By the way, GG,
why do you have to do all this drama?
-What?
-You know I've always been ready.
-Huh?
-As if you don't know.
Hmm, okay. Call me.
[in Hindi] ♪ Lethal as poison ♪
[flirtatiously, in English] GG!
What's so special today, hmm?
Stop bouncing around
like a boiled egg, would you?
-[panting] Oh, no, no!
-Yeah.
Important to keep
the heart rate up, Meenu aunty.
Meenu!
-Yeah.
-Okay, tell me, where's your mom?
Not going for Zumba?
I asked her this morning.
She said she's not in the mood.
Oh, yeah, she must be getting
nonstop calls today.
-[Meenu] Hmm.
-Why?
-[intriguing music plays]
-Her birthday's in April, right?
Stop playing so dumb, smarty-pants.
I know everything!
"Smarty-pants"?
What does she know?
What's wrong with everyone today?
[Gaurav] Reshma!
Fresh lime water!
[Reshma] It's ready, sir, with jaggery.
Yes, sir, of course.
Completely issue-less, sir.
You look so much better
in real life than in your pictures!
[breathlessly] Thank you. What picture?
Uh, excuse me, sir, allow me
to call you in a little while. Okay?
[chuckles nervously] Good morning!
Good morning, Papa.
What's issue-less?
"Issue-less" means uh…
there were no issues at all
[chuckles nervously] in the society.
Oh! [laughs falsely]
[Gaurav's dad] Everything safe
and sound here.
-Really?
-This time
the committee has chosen
some great members.
Uh, since when are you interested
in society matters, Papa?
Are you hiding something?
Tell me the truth now!
-What are you hiding?
-This is what they're hiding.
Their antics.
Both of them will never miss
a chance to embarrass us.
Oh, my God!
-[both mouth insults]
-[Gaurav] "Wanted brides!"
"32-year-old issueless, innocent divorcee,
Jat boy, very handsome, six-footer"?
"Owning two branches business."
"Travel abroad seven times.
US, Canada visa ten year received!"
"From reputed family,
looking for suitable alliance
of same caste."
-Is that me?!
-But you're looking so cute, Guggu.
Look, your dad and I thought
since you don't read the newspaper,
you wouldn't find out.
You thought I would…
The whole of Gurgaon has found out!
How did you think I wouldn't?
And I'm six feet tall?!
How many lies have you printed about me?
And what's this English?
"Owning two branches business!"
We barely own two branches of a tree, Maa!
I wrote what I could think of!
What else should I've written?
That we run a booze shop
called "Badnaam Wines"?
-Is she ma…
-Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
[funky music plays]
Are you saying
you're ashamed of our business?
It's a respectable occupation.
"Wine Mart" is what it is called.
-Give--
-Focus on our son now!
For God's sake,
just focus on yourselves for a change.
And take all this focus off me now!
You guys have made it a mission
to get me married again!
I just want a child, not a wife.
I'm going for a shower.
And this! Get rid of this!
I don't care how!
Ridiculous!
[funky music continues]
[Gaurav's dad] Be careful.
[both] When did you
start reading the newspaper?
[funky music fades]
[vehicles whizzing past in the distance]
[soft upbeat music playing]
-Cheers, my broski!
-Cheers!
Hey! You don't need this, dude!
You're bloody lucky that you have Vivaan.
Stop drooling.
Yeah, bro.
Grass is always greener on the other side.
And beer is always colder
in the other glass!
Come on, man! Beer!
f*ck, you're the lucky one.
Me? How's that?
Bro, not everyone gets
the kind of opportunity that you have.
What opportunity?
You have escaped the Matrix, broski!
You're single to mingle again.
Recognize your powers, bro!
Look there, at the bar.
That girl is checking you out
with her fake lenses.
You can see from here
that her lenses are fake?
Yes, I'm Peyush Bansal,
the owner of Lenskart, right?
-[Gaurav] Huh?
-You dumbfu…
I'm showing you a babe,
and you're asking me about finances!
-She's actually hot.
-[man] Mm-hmm.
-Should I go for it?
-[man chortles]
-Sure? [chortling]
-[chortling]
Don't mess it up!
[upbeat bar music gets louder]
Hi.
I'll have the same.
Hi.
That's all I have.
I don't know any pickup lines.
Isn't that a pickup line?
Really? That's all it takes these days?
Oh…
It's been a while since the lion
stepped out of his cage?
Breakup, or… divorce?
Take a guess, why don't you?
If a good-looking hunk like you
was available in the market,
I would've definitely known about it.
Divorce?
Hmm.
Well, if I'd met a girl
who's as hot and sexy as you,
I'd never have gotten married.
I'm Gaurav, by the way.
-[in an Americanized accent] Inara.
-Huh?
Inara.
That's your real name?
-Yes! Why?
-I mean,
you know, back in my day,
Pooja, Neha, Priya
were names that were in fashion.
This sounds a little filmy.
You know, Samara, Kiara, that kinda thing.
I mean, Inara is a great name
as well. [chuckles nervously]
Oh, really?
[raises voice over music] Anyways,
uh, so, Inara…
[Inara] Hmm?
Wanna go somewhere else,
where we can hear each other speak?
Hmm, sure.
-[insects chirping]
-[ambient music playing]
[kisses]
-[Inara moans]
-[baby cries]
-Put it on silent, won't you?
-What?
-[baby continues crying]
-[Inara groans] Baby.
Already calling me baby and all?
Naughty, naughty!
I'm talking about
your crying-baby ringtone?
[sighs softly] It's k*lling the vibe.
-But that's not mine. Must be yours.
-[baby continues crying]
-That's not a phone!
-[music stops abruptly]
-[baby crying]
-[both gasp]
[crying]
Holy cow!
What the f*ck?!
-But that's an actual baby!
-[Inara] Oh, my god!
-What's this baby doing here?
-[baby crying]
Hey! Don't leave me alone!
[funky music playing]
[Gaurav] Just wait!
-What's a baby doing here?
-[spluttering] I-I-I don't know, man!
-I-I-I--
-You psycho!
Your baby was in this car,
and you were dancing and flirting with me?
What?! But that's not my baby!
The car's yours,
so the baby has to be yours!
[funky music playing]
The car is yours, isn't it?
[hesitates] Of course, it's mine.
Look! Look, at this big GG logo
on the front.
-So--
-Just hold on. Come with me.
[music fades]
Oh no, I… left the window open.
[dogs barking in the distance]
Oh, who the hell has left
this baby in my car, man?
-Whose baby is this? Where's everyone?
-[cell phone ringing]
Hey, Nams, I can't talk to you right now.
I'm in a huge mess.
The real mess is here, man.
Dad hasn't come home,
and his phone's switched off.
-I have to leave now!
-Hey, wait! She can't leave!
Who's this "she"?
Our dad's pronouns are "He" and "Him."
-I'm not talking to you!
-At least let me--
[whispers] That's not my baby.
[funky music playing]
-[Reshma] He's not even on the terrace.
-Why would he be on the terrace?
[splutters] Yes, Mr. Mishra.
Uh, could you put my husband
on the phone, please?
-Not there? Nammo, call the police!
-[funky music continues]
Are you looking for him,
or should I call the police station?
-Police Station?
-Po… Police?
I can't go to the police.
My husband shouldn't know about this!
Husband?
-What? You're married?
-I'm out of here.
Is it necessary to be sarcastic
in the middle of a crisis?
I know the engagement period
is a bit long.
-So what?
-Nammo, have you called the police, yet?
God! I'll bring Papa back.
You just hang up now!
Oh, hello! Why didn't you tell me
that you were married?
Oh, hello! You've got
plenty of your own problems.
Focus on those, okay?
-Yeah, but…
-[footsteps receding]
Oh, hello! Bukhara, Kinara,
or was it Sahara? Don't go!
[dogs barking in the distance]
[groans] Oh, man!
She left me here alone.
[sighs softly]
Yes, sir?
-Don't feel like crying now, huh?
-[coos]
[funky music playing]
[Gaurav] Oh, Papa,
look at the state you're in. Let's go.
-[slurs] Why, bro?
-Let's go home.
-When did I refuse to go, huh? Let's go.
-Papa, where are you going, man?
-Home!
-Why do you keep doing this?
You shouldn't drink so much.
-Let's go home.
-♪ Home, sweet home ♪
-[Gaurav] Yes, your sweet home.
-Is that our home?
[Gaurav] No, that's mine.
This one's yours.
[Gaurav's mom] Reshma,
get some water, please.
[slurs] Reshma,
along with the whiskey, please.
-[Gaurav] Sit here.
-Where did you find him?
[pants] On the phone,
he updated his status again. [groans]
"I left my lover's house, feeling empty"
"But the one I thought was my lover
Turned out to be family"
-"Real family," son.
-Yeah, yeah the same thing.
-He was at Mishra uncle's?
-Where else?
Really? Mishra said
you weren't at his place.
-I told him to say so to ignore you.
-[Nams sighs]
Papa, why do you
always behave so childish?
You could've at least informed us.
Don't say anything,
or he'll post it on his status.
-His drunk updates are even worse.
-Water.
-Have some water.
-No, ma'am, thank you.
Why do you drink so much
when you can't handle it?
What's the fun in drinking
if you can handle it.
The reason I drink is,
so that I can handle you.
Oh, Haryanvi Devdas! Relax.
-He thinks he's the one who handles me.
-[Gaurav] Mummy!
Let me speak, Gaurav!
We've been married for so many years now.
And you still have a problem with me?
-[Gaurav] Hey, Papa.
-You know the older the curd gets,
-the more sour it becomes!
-[Gaurav] Somebody--
-[the women's voices overlap]
-[Gaurav] Nammo!
[shouts] Hey, listen!
[suspenseful music playing]
-Look. Look what I found?
-[baby coos]
Hi!
[Gaurav's dad] Where did you find
this baby?
[Gaurav] Huh?
[slurs] Come on, tell me
where you found him.
-He was in my car.
-What?
Is he a child or a parking ticket
that you found him in a car?
-[baby coos]
-I hope he's not yours. Tell us the truth.
-Huh? No, no. He's not mine at all.
-Keep quiet.
-Papa.
-This is why…
-This is why Aparna left you.
-[Gaurav's dad] Huh?
You went ahead
and had a baby with someone else!
Mummy! What rubbish are you talking?!
-Have you had a few as well?
-Listen.
What if his parents file
a kidnapping case against you?
[Gaurav] Hey, no one's filing any case.
Cutie!
His fair skin suggests
that he must be from the hills.
-You're a r*cist, Papa!
-[Gaurav's dad] Hmm?
What should we feed him?
Should we give him some milk?
Such a small baby must be breastfed.
-Breastmilk?
-You must be from Uttarakhand?
-Or are you from Himachal?
-[baby coos]
-Don't you think he belongs to Nainital?
-How would I know, Papa?
-Baby formula!
-[Gaurav's dad] Uh…
It's just like mother's milk.
-But do we have any baby formula?
-Yeah, surely.
So many overgrown babies here.
Of course we have a baby formula.
Hey, no one needs your sarcasm.
We need your help.
Go and order it from GK Medical. Go!
[trills his Rs] Harrrr!
-He has to be a Punjabi!
-[funky music swells]
Guggu, do one thing.
Go to Mr. Mishra's house.
He just had a grandson.
So they have everything.
Formula, bottle, diapers, all of it.
-Yeah! I'll be back with some food.
-[Reshma] And I will go heat some water.
-Baby's going to get a sponge bath!
-I'll get a towel.
I have a crop top which I'll crop further.
It'll definitely fit him.
-Listen, I'm sure he's 100% a Kashmiri.
-Yeah.
-Yeah, could be.
-[Gaurav's dad] Hmm.
-Does this look comfy?
-Oh, come on!
It never looked comfy on you,
why would it suit him?
I think we should take him
to the police station.
At this hour?
If he doesn't sleep,
my baby might fall ill!
-Yeah.
-Your baby? How is it your baby?
-I was talking about my baby Gaurav.
-[chuckles]
No, no. It's very late now,
I can't take him. I'll take him tomorrow.
I think I should take him
to my room and let him sleep there.
It might help with my manifestation.
You never know, may be a little
bundle of joy will be in our future too.
[soft tender music playing]
-Is everything okay?
-[Reshma] Yes.
Sir, I fed him milk. He's sleeping.
[Gaurav] Very good.
-[Reshma sighs]
-[hesitates] Do you mind if I… hold him?
-Of course.
-I only picked up the box earlier.
-Yes, be careful.
-Easy, easy.
-[Reshma coos] Oh baby!
-Oh, my baby. Hi, cutu!
-[tender music playing]
-Hi, cutu!
Look, look, look, look,
he smiled, he smiled, he smiled.
No, he's happy because he's farting.
He's farted?
[Reshma] I'll be sleeping in the kitchen.
Wake me up if you need anything.
Yeah, okay, you go.
[tender music continues]
[music swells]
[music slows]
[baby whines softly]
[baby whimpers loudly]
-[Gaurav] Hmm?
-[baby whimpers loudly]
-Hey! What happened?
-[whimpering in pain]
[baby whines gutturally]
Huh? What happened?
-Oh, sh*t!
-[baby continues crying]
-Hey!
-[tense music playing]
Reshma, come quick!
Look, he's been crying for so long.
Just look at his lips.
They've turned all blue!
-He's… he's breathing so fast, sir.
-Yeah.
Call a doctor, quickly!
Forget the doctor.
I'll take him straight to the hospital.
-[tense music continues]
-[tires screeching]
[ambulance blaring in the distance]
-Mr. Gaurav, were you the one who called?
-Yes, yes. Yes. Careful.
[tense music continues]
[woman] Sir, rapid breath
and bluish skin around the face.
Swelling in the eyes and legs.
All signs of VSD.
-V-VSD, meaning?
-[male doctor] Ventricular Septal Defect.
-W-What's that?
-He has a hole in his heart.
A hole?
He'll be fine, right?
[doctor] Don't worry.
Happens to a lot of kids.
We'll operate immediately.
-You complete the formalities.
-Yes, Doctor.
[woman 2] Take him slowly.
-Careful, careful, careful.
-[stretcher receding]
-Name?
-Name? I don't know.
-How come you don't know your own name?
-Mine?
Gaurav Gehlot.
For now, I'll just write that. Sex?
It's been well over a year now.
What?
I mean, gender, sir.
Oh! I'm male, ma'am.
The baby's.
Baby is also male.
Sorry.
-Will you be paying the deposit?
-Yes, of course, I can do that.
All right, so, uh, please sign here.
And here, and on the last page. Hmm?
[tender music playing]
[receptionist] And yeah, you'll
have to wait till the police arrive.
I hope it's fine with you.
Of course it's fine.
As if I'm scared of the police.
Which room do you want?
Private or sharing?
[pen thuds softly on paper]
This is the "Baby of Gaurav Gehlot."
VVIP room.
Book the best available room
in your hotel.
Sir, this is a hospital, not a hotel.
I hope you know that.
-"Best room."
-[Gaurav] Yes, I know that.
But if the hospital feels like a hotel,
then what can I do about it?
-[vehicles zooming past in the distance]
-[vehicles honking]
[slow, moving piano prelude playing]
-Sir?
-All well. Nothing to worry.
-[sighs in relief]
-Your boy's a fighter.
And he's responding
to treatment very well.
-Very good.
-Thank you.
In such cases,
it's crucial to bring the patient
to the hospital in time.
-Right
-You did well.
Thank you, sir.
You also did very well, sir.
May I… see the baby now?
We'll shortly shift him
to the recovery room.
-You can see him then. Hmm?
-Sir.
-[doctor chuckles]
-Thank you so much, sir.
[soft, tender music continues]
[in Hindi] ♪ La la baby, lullaby ♪
♪ Shall I open a magical box for you? ♪
♪ A blanket of rainbow dreams ♪
♪ Shall I drape around you? ♪
♪ Sleep all night, while I wake ♪
♪ Watch you turn, keep an eye on you ♪
♪ Mirror to my childhood, that's you ♪
♪ The apple of my eye, that's you ♪
♪ What strange love is this I feel? ♪
♪ I don't know when you became
My whole heart ♪
♪ My every breath now belongs to you ♪
♪ What strange love is this I feel? ♪
[tender music continues]
[footsteps approaching]
-[woman, in English] Mr. Gaurav Gehlot?
-[gasps]
[groans] Baby of Gaurav Gehlot. Sex, male.
-I want the best room in your hotel.
-No, no, no.
Your baby is under observation
in the recovery room.
-He's still there?
-Don't worry, your baby is fine.
He is recovering well.
The senior doctor will come for rounds
in the afternoon.
Once he gives a go-ahead, we'll
definitely shift him to another room.
-Sir, you can go home and come back.
-You won't discharge him now?
Only the doctors will be able
to tell you post examination.
It may take a day or two,
but nothing to worry.
-[message dings]
-[yawns loudly]
[groans]
[Nammo] Where the hell are you, bro?
Did you forget we have to go
to Goldie's place?
-Answer the phone!
-Oh, sh*t!
-[intriguing music playing]
-[birds chirping]
[Gaurav] Is this really a house,
or the set of Heeramandi?
-[mutters] Oh God!
-[Gaurav's mother chuckles awkwardly]
[woman] Without enamelled jewellery,
a bride's look is incomplete. [chuckles]
Have a look, dear.
How do you like it, Mrs. Gehlot?
Mrs. Aggarwal,
you have an exquisite choice.
We love it, right?
Oh, absolutely right!
She's your daughter now.
Dress her the way you like.
[parents chuckling]
-Aunty, uh-- [chuckles]
-Mom. Call me "Mom".
Mom… this is nice.
Uh, can I try that one also?
Yeah, this one is quite classy.
-It's too basic.
-Yeah, I agree it's rather plain.
-[mouths] Sorry.
-[woman] Ah! We have a joke in our family.
Our daughter-in-law and basic?
Not a chance!
[Nammo's parents laugh exaggeratedly]
[Goldie's dad, chuckles]
"Our daughter-in-law and basic"?
Mrs. Suman is a bundle of jokes!
Ever since we got married,
I've been laughing nonstop
at her funny jokes.
-[laughing]
-[laughs politely] Lucky man!
You see, Mr. Gehlot,
this is the first
inter-caste marriage in our family.
Countless people have asked me this
"You want a bride from a Jat clan?"
-[pensive music playing]
-"Have you lost your mind?"
But I clearly told my son.
"Look, Son,
it doesn't matter whether
your horoscopes match or not."
"One quality must match at any cost."
"L-L-L."
"Long-Lasting Laughter!"
[both laughing]
Actually, Uncle,
you can't call it a quality.
It's a neurological condition,
where a person just keeps laughing
like an idiot for no reason at all.
-[Gaurav chuckles]
-[Suman chuckles awkwardly]
This was a joke too.
[laughs falsely]
-Good one, brother!
-Thanks!
Sir, the police is at the gate.
Great, the police is at the gate!
[laughs and stops laughing abruptly]
-Did you say "police"?
-[male staff] Not for you. For Mr. Gehlot.
-[Gaurav's dad] Huh?
-What did you do now?
You please sit down.
We're not here for you.
-Are you Mr Gehlot?
-Yes, what has happened, sir?
-You need to come for a paternity test.
-Huh?
What, "Huh"?
You admitted the child, right?
-Aren't you Gaurav Gehlot?
-Wait a second!
I'm Gaurav Gehlot.
But why do you need a paternity test?
[cop] Because there's a report
filed against you.
You're the baby's father?
-No!
-You need to come to the station.
-Come with us.
-[worried exchanges overlapping]
-[cop] Come on!
-[Goldie] Don't worry I'll handle it.
-I'm coming with you.
-[chuckles nervously]
We'll do this another time.
[Gaurav's dad] Huh?
[Suman] "Haste makes waste, isn't it?"
-No, no. Actually, Mom, my brother--
-Aunty!
Uh, Mrs. Aggarwal, last night, uh,
Gaurav found a baby on the street.
So he took him to a hospital.
It has to be
some kind of a misunderstanding.
-It's not a big deal. Trust me.
-Yes.
See, a paternity test
is actually a big deal.
-I am sure the results would be negative--
-When you get the test results,
don't forget to message us.
[pensive music playing]
[shouts] No, no, you tell me,
isn't this unjust?
I've done a good deed,
but you're insulting me.
I'm a citizen of this country.
I have rights too!
-Why are you yelling, sir?
-[mockingly] Yes, sir!
So, where did you find the kid?
Oh, sir, I made a whole long written
complaint about all of this yesterday
like a good citizen.
He was there. Mr. Phool Singh, tell him.
Why have they drawn my blood?
What is this?
You have a problem answering my question?
-I mean, sir…
-[funky music playing]
-I found him on the backseat of my car.
-Alone, in the car?
-He was all alone, in a box, sir.
-I meant you!
Me? There was a girl with me, sir.
Your wife?
Sir, which idiot spends private time
with his own wife in his own car?
[chuckles] He's absolutely right, sir.
[funky music playing]
Girlfriend?
No, sir, I'd just met her in the pub.
What was this girl's name?
Name, sir, Tiara, Niagara
something like that.
She was married, sir.
So she wouldn't tell me her real name.
Oh, God! I'm sure there'd be an eyewitness
who can confirm your story, right?
But, sir, there was… [splutters]
There were number of CCTV cameras all over
the place. Just get the feed and check.
More than half of them are not working.
Don't work?!
Oh!
-Phool Singh sir, just a second,
-Hey!
Hold my hand after a break.
I'm talking to sir right now!
Sir, listen to what I'm saying.
Let's make the bottle my eyewitness.
[woman] I knew he'd say
something like that.
[Gaurav] Who are you, madam?
I'm the one who filed the complaint.
Oh, aah!
Romila Nehra. Chairperson, CACA.
What is Caca who is Caca?
Central Authority of Child Adoption.
Now tell me the truth.
The child you abandoned at the hospital
is yours, right?
Mine?
Now you're just making things up, madam!
Why on earth would I lie?
We'll know the truth
once we have the paternity test.
-Do it then!
-Ma'am?
Nurse, thank you.
DNA match, negative.
Paternity test, failed.
-You see?
-It's not his baby.
What did I say? No, no, read it.
Read it out loud. So everyone can hear!
Sir, I suggest,
we do this test a couple more times.
Best of three will be good!
It'll be so much fun
to defeat you 3 times in a row!
How juvenile!
We got this test done because it's about
an innocent child's wellbeing.
And it's men like you
who get women pregnant and leave them.
If only a woman allows me
to get her pregnant in the first place!
I'll hold her so tight,
I'll never let her go.
-I'll cling on to her!
-Really?
-Dearly.
-[funky music plays]
And you were talking about leaving, madam?
I'll only leave my child
when I'm dropping him to school,
school to home and home to tuition.
That's it!
Listen, getting offended right now
is very unnecessary!
I'm only doing my duty here, okay?
Inspector, post investigation,
you know the drill.
-Thank you.
-What drill? Hey wait, madam!
You've insulted me in front of everyone.
I'm going to sue you for defamation.
Wait and watch!
Do whatever you want.
Just one look at you and it's clear
how much time you have to spare.
You think I have time to spare?
I've been respectful
because you're a woman.
Otherwise, I would've
set you straight by now.
What will you do? Huh?
You're gonna as*ault me?
Are you going to behave like a goon now?
-You bloody hooligan!
-Hey! You bloody… Quick g*n Murugan!
-You think you can say anything?
-You f--
You just f… f…
-How dare you?!
-"Dare you!" Dare!
[tense music playing]
Mad woman!
Did you see the test results?
Share it with your jeweller too!
No, baby, uh…
Baby, I understand you're upset.
Just a minute! Who's getting married?
Me or your mom? Huh?
So who gets to choose the jewellery?
Me or her?
You! You, baby, you! Of course, you!
And let me tell you,
I'm not wearing that ugly set.
Yeah, please don't wear it.
It's really yuck!
Who would want to wear that?!
And what's the problem
with the girls from Jat families? Huh?
Saina Nehwal, Gita and Babita Phogat,
Sakshi Mallik, they're all Jat girls.
There's no problem.
Who said there's a problem?
In fact, the country's proud of Jat girls.
I'm proud of Jat girls!
And you think an inter-caste marriage
isn't a problem in my family? Huh?
-But my family wasn't sarcastic.
-No, they weren't at all!
I'll be wearing a Rimple-Harpreet.
And jewellery from Sabyasachi.
Okay.
That's great. Let me inform my mom then.
Have you gone nuts?
Why would you tell your mom?
Then she'll think I told you.
But didn't you just say that?
Yes, I told you,
but I never told you to tell her!
Okay! So what do you
want me to do exactly?
What was the point of
this 45-minute-long conversation?
There's no point talking to you!
Just hang up!
Enough of your pointless blabbering!
Uh, boy trouble?
Don't you have, like,
homework or something?
Rude!
[mouths] "Boy trouble!"
[vehicles honking shrilly in the distance]
Sister!
-Hey, Sister!
-Yes?
Where's that little baby?
He came a few days ago, I brought him.
"Baby of Gaurav Gehlot."
-That one?
-Yes.
He was taken away by the orphanage people.
Took him? To which orphanage?
-Sneh Bhavan.
-Sneh Bhavan?
-Yes.
-Thank you.
[pensive music playing]
[whispers] "Sneh Bhavan."
[pensive music continues]
-[tender music playing]
-[kids voices echo] One, two, three,
four, five, six…
[kids laughter echoing]
[children's happy chatter echoes]
[squeaks]
[tender ethereal music swells]
Good day, sir.
Hello, buddy!
Sir!
Can I address you as "sir"?
You can call me whatever you like.
I mean, how do you identify?
Iden… ? Oh!
-Son, I identify with Aadhar Card. Look--
-Oh, no, no!
I meant male, cisgender, female?
Female?
What's the matter, buddy?
Do I look female to you?
Microaggression is not good.
-[Gaurav] Huh?
-I'll take it I can call you "sir" then.
You, uh…
Oh!
You're one of those, right?
What do they call them,
pseudo-intellectual types? Woke!
Shlok.
And I don't like labels.
Just call me Shlok.
Shlok, Woke, one and the same thing.
Hey, Woke Shlok,
I wanted to meet
that "Baby of Gaurav Gehlot."
-Sorry, who exactly?
-You know, that tiny little cutie pie?
The one who was found
in Pristine Hospital?
Oh, yeah. come with me.
[chuckles] Woke Shlok.
-Okay, so tell me something.
-[Shlok] This way.
You're a sweet little kid.
-How come you haven't been adopted yet?
-Sir!
-Sir, I'm not an orphan.
-Oh!
In fact, this orphanage
belongs to my family trust.
I see.
-So tell me how many kids live here?
-Forty-seven.
Man, I'm getting
Taare Zameen Par vibes out here.
-All the kids look so happy here.
-What?
You know… [clicks tongue] somehow,
we all end up thinking that, uh,
children in orphanages
must be sad or hungry,
and they're run by crazy weird women.
[Shlok] It's very easy
to please children, sir.
Just give them a little love,
a little affection,
and a little bit of time.
Our attempt is that
when they leave this home
and go to another home,
they should feel even happier there.
Like all children in the world,
they too deserve their share
of happiness, don't they?
Yeah.
-Buddy, my baby?
-[Shlok] Oh, yeah!
This is the room for infants and toddlers.
[baby croons]
[baby gurgles happily]
-[Shlok] Sir, here's your baby.
-[tender, ethereal music playing]
[tender, suspenseful music swells]
[baby cooing softly]
Hey…
How's my little champ?
We're still thinking of a name for him.
Amul.
Like the butter?
Yeah.
I found him in an Amul carton that night.
Amul is a Hindi word meaning "precious."
Priceless.
-Amul's perfect.
-Amul it is, then.
Hi, baby Amul!
Hi! Can I uh…
Can I pick him up?
Yeah, sure.
Careful with his neck.
[in Hindi] ♪ I just wish to walk all paths
With your hand in mine ♪
♪ I want to spend my whole life with you ♪
♪ I pray that no grief ever finds you ♪
♪ May every step you take
Be filled with smiles ♪
♪ I am always with you ♪
♪ I exist because of you ♪
♪ I mean this with all my heart… ♪
-[in English] You look so happy in these.
-[chuckles] Yeah.
It looks like you've won
a big lottery today.
He is a little lottery.
Listen. Will you share
these pictures with me?
-Yeah, sure.
-Yeah.
-Give me your number.
-Yes, ma'am? Yeah.
[in Hindi] ♪ What strange love
Is this I feel? ♪
♪ I don't know when you became
My whole heart ♪
♪ My every breath now belongs to you ♪
♪ What strange love is this I feel? ♪
[soft, tender music continues]
♪ What strange love is this I feel? ♪
[birds chirping]
[tender music playing]
[birds chirping softly]
-Have you come here to meet Amul?
-Yeah!
But he's been adopted already.
-[tense music builds]
-What?!
Yeah!
Just two days ago,
a British couple showed up.
They must have reached London by now.
What?! How could he get adopted
just like that?
What do you mean just like that?
That's the whole purpose of this place.
Children come here to get adopted, right?
Yeah, but Amul is my child!
I was planning on adopting him myself!
-Sorry, sir, but you've missed the train.
-[ominous music plays]
Amul is gone now.
[ominous music swells and lingers]
[Shlok] Have you come to meet Amul?
But he's been adopted already.
-[Shlok's voice echoes]
-[gasps]
[music fades abruptly]
[sighs softly]
[sighs deeply]
[children chatting happily]
[children] Eating sugar? No, Papa!
Telling lies? No, Papa!
[Gaurav] I'm just here to speak to Shlok.
You do your duty. Don't worry about me!
-How're you, Shlok?
-Sir!
Sorry, man.
Ah, you're playing a game, huh?
-I'm studying.
-Oh, good! What're you studying?
"Disrupted Ecosystem
and Ocean Acidification
due to Global Warming."
-Shlok, I have decided.
-[Shlok] What?
That I'm going to adopt Amul.
Sir, I hear you.
But adoption is a very lengthy
and difficult process.
[clicks tongue] Yeah, so,
we'll make it short and easy.
-Let me give you a reality check.
-For how much?
-[Shlok scoffs]
-Just kidding. Tell me.
Do you know the number of adoptions
which happened last year in India?
No.
Four thousand three hundred
and twenty-five.
And in how many of these cases
were the fathers Single Papas?
Maybe like fifty or sixty.
-Not even one.
-What?
Now you can imagine
how difficult it is to be a Single Papa
for single men in India.
[intriguing music playing]
-You're sure about this, aren't you?
-Buddy, I'm a 100% sure.
Okay.
And your family?
I hope they're with you on this.
Adoption is impossible without them.
[intense dramatic music playing]
-Either my dead body, or your dead body!
-[g*nsh*t echoes]
First divorce, then adoption!
-I'll be thrown from every kitty party!
-[temple bell rings]
Listen, if my marriage gets cancelled
because of you, I'll k*ll you.
Let's take a trip to Bangkok.
Your problem is a little different.
[Shlok] Sir?
Are you with me?
Uh, yes, yes! With you.
[mutters] With you.
Come.
Come where, buddy?
-Let me introduce you to my mom.
-[chuckles]
Hey, you've called Ma'am
your mom by mistake.
-Actually, Ma'am is my mom.
-Yeah?
She's the managing trustee
of this orphanage.
Oh, wow! It's like a family! Let's go!
-Mom!
-[Gaurav] Ma'am.
-[woman] Hmm?
-Cool! Namast… You!
[funky music playing]
Ma'am?
[funky music playing]
-You?!
-Mom, he has come to adopt Amul.
[funky music continues]
How dare he?!
I thought you were gonna slap
a defamation case on me?
"Defamation case"?
Oh! [chuckles nervously] Madam,
are you still upset
about that incident at the hospital.
Just let it go!
And the way you did this!
Uh, should I let that go too?
[funky music fades]
Ma'am, may I suggest something?
Let's start afresh.
You forgive me for earlier,
I get to adopt the child I want.
Go and find yourself another hobby.
I'll make sure you can
never adopt a baby from here.
It's not a hobby, ma'am.
Amul is my soulmate.
And I'll make sure I adopt him.
How exactly?
Are you gonna carry him out of here?
Now, a three-month old isn't gonna
walk out of here, is he?
I'll have to carry him out, won't I?
Even if you were
the very last applicant on this planet,
I will make sure
that you can never adopt a child.
[tense music swells and fades]
Okay, then, madam.
-Now, I don't care how I have to do it.
-[dramatic music playing]
But I will definitely take Amul home.
And I will be his Single Papa.
[Gaurav's theme music playing]
[object thuds]
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's got a dankness
Lethal as poison ♪
♪ It's poison ♪
♪ It's poison ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's got a dankness
Lethal as poison ♪
♪ I lead from the front
The crowd follows me ♪
♪ My rhythm, my swag, is quite deadly ♪
♪ Anything I say
Makes me sound like a gangsta ♪
♪ I got the moves and vibe of a romancer ♪
♪ I go cruisin'
Through your town in my Thar ♪
♪ Even got my own business empire ♪
♪ I was taught to live
With love and affection ♪
♪ But I keep love in one hand
In the other a g*n ♪
♪ Make one mistake and I'll understand ♪
♪ Make another
And I'll k*ll you where you stand ♪
♪ Wanna know who I am?
Ask anyone in town ♪
♪ All my deeds and misdeeds
You'll get the lowdown ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's come to town
You better slow down ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's got a dankness
Lethal as poison ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's got a dankness
Lethal as poison ♪
♪ You better slow down ♪
♪ GG's come to town ♪
♪ You better slow down ♪
♪ GG's come to town ♪
♪ I'm a Haryana boy, simple and sweet ♪
♪ No brother ever born
That's got me beat ♪
♪ Fear itself bows in fear to me ♪
♪ No brother ever born
That could scare me ♪
♪ GG on the streets sparks a traffic jam ♪
♪ GG makes love
Like he don't give a damn ♪
♪ I was born with warrior DNA ♪
♪ I get saluted by your local MLA ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's come to town
You better slow down ♪
♪ I lead from the front
The crowd follows me ♪
♪ My rhythm, my swag, is quite deadly ♪
♪ Anything I say
Makes me sound like a gangsta ♪
♪ I got the moves and vibe of a romancer ♪
♪ I go cruisin'
Through your town in my Thar ♪
♪ Even got my own business empire ♪
♪ I was taught to live
With love and affection ♪
♪ But I keep love in one hand
In the other a g*n ♪
♪ Make one mistake and I'll understand ♪
♪ Make another
And I'll k*ll you where you stand ♪
♪ Wanna know who I am?
Ask anyone in town ♪
♪ All my deeds and misdeeds
You'll get the lowdown ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's come to town
You better slow down ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's got a dankness
Lethal as poison ♪
♪ You better slow down
GG's come to town ♪
♪ GG's got a dankness
Lethal as poison ♪
♪ You better slow down ♪
♪ GG's come to town ♪
♪ You better slow down ♪
♪ GG's come to town ♪
[music fades]
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