02x15 - A Date from Heck

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy in the
neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ he's there just to take good
care of me ♪

♪ like he's one of the
family Charles in Charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights
Charles in Charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs and our rights
and I sing ♪

♪ I want Charles in Charge
of me Charles in Charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights
Charles in Charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs and our rights
and I sing I want I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge of me ♪

♪♪

Charles, a question.

Adam this better be really
important, I have to finish

- typing my term paper.
- It's really, really important!

The meaning of life Charles,
is it girls,

or is it birthday cake?

That's a, that's a tough
one there Adam,

can I get back to you
on it?

No, there'll be girls at
Cynthia Meyer's birthday party

tonight, and for the first time
in my life girls seem to have

the same importance as cake.
So which is it?

Um... well cake is good,
and, uh... girls are uh...

...girls are the icing
on the cake.

So, try them both and pick
the one that's less fattening.

Charles, guess what,
no more rapid transit

for the Powell girls, because
Deedee Burke's big sister,

a licensed driver is taking us
to the drive-in movie tonight!

Oh, wait a minute, you guys
are way too young

for a drive-in movie, trust me.

They're showing a beautiful,
foreign art film!

[laughing]

Uh, Sarah, people do not go to
the drive-in movie,

to see the movie. You see the
actors on the screen

end up watching the people
in the cars.

Charles, Mom said we could go,
case closed!

[knocking on the door]
Come in!

Charles, aren't you finished
yet, it's Friday.

We're supposed to party!

Buddy, a concert in the park
is not exactly a party.

Now, please look, I have one
more paragraph left okay,

I can't talk to anybody,
you understand?

Okay, I'm on it pal, you just
go ahead and type away

knowing that your old buddy
Buddy is here to guard

and protect you...
I'll just be quiet now.

Dad, you cannot just
back out on this!

I do not want to spend the
evening at your Aunt Felicia's.

She's a terrific cook!

Y-ooh, and the most predatory

Doesn't she know
I'm too young for her?

Dad, we made a deal, if you go
to Aunt Felicia's tonight.

I won't invite her over here
tomorrow night.

Oh, I see, I lose or I lose
is that it?

Oh, oh, oh, I'll go get ready!

Hello, Charles, hi Buddy.

Mrs. Powell, he can't talk
right now,

he's got a lot of work to do,

and can he have
the night off tonight?

Well, I don't see why not,

everyone who lives here
will be out tonight.

Charles, did you here...

I'm sorry,
you go right ahead and work.

Didn't you hear what she said?

Charles, she said, and I quote

everyone who is living here
will be out tonight!

Now that's the perfect
opportunity for two guys

with great personalities
and no money.

We'll bring our dates in here!

There, finished,
Buddy we don't have dates.

No problem, how many times have
I gotten us gorgeous dates,

- at the last minute?
- Never.

We'll I'm about due,
wouldn't you say.

Why do I listen to you Buddy?

There's not a woman
in the whole place!

Oh, okay, I predict
that the next person

that walks through that door
will be a girl.

She'll be beautiful,
feminine and gorgeous!

And a master of disguise.

Sit down man, I saw her first!

Charles, why kid yourself?
You have principles.

You'd waste the whole night,
just getting to know her.

Now I on the other hand...

Hi, I-I know you,
it's Leslie right?

Anna, you're Charles
I see you in my seat.

Well, that's funny,
I see you in my dreams.

Oh, I'm sorry, I meant I see
you in my seat in Eng-lit.

Oh, English Literature!

Oh, that's right
you're the new student.

- From Yugoslavia.
- Oh!

But I hope to stay in America
and become old student.

Well, I hope you stay in
America, too.

Why, you do not know me?

Yeah, I know I don't know you,
but I know all I need to know

to know that I'd like to
get to know you.

You would, you mean
like on date?

I've never been on an American
date, sounds like fun!

Okay by you?

- You're asking me out?
- Is that wrong?

No, no! It's just not usual.

We'll I'm not usual girl!

I've seen Gidget movies.

What could we do?

Have you seen Body Heat ?
I'm kidding, ha, ha!

Uh, well we could, uh,
maybe have dinner.

Ooh, dinner, good idea!
I cook for you, okay by you?

I tell you what, why don't I
cook for you?

- I live in a big house.
- Oh, you are rich?

No, no, see I just take
care of this family.

Their father's overseas
and their mother works,

so I'm kinda like a
big brother to three kids.

Oh, perfect, okay, I come to
your house, but I cook for you.

It's way in my country.

You know, I love Yugoslavia.
I always have.

I love men who love Yugoslavia.

I fix you special Yugoslav
dish, okay by you?

Okay by me, uh... I'll pick
you up at what... uh?

- No, I come to you.
- You do?

What a country!
I'll give you my address okay?

It's, uh, it's the last house
on the left.

It's got a brick wall
and a roof, okay?

I'll be the guy in front with
flashlights goin' like this.

- Very good.
- See you later.

Buddy! This, this is an
extremely friendly girl!

She asked me out!
She's coming over tonight,

She's gonna make me some
Yugoslavian feast!

- Isn't that great!
- That's great Charles!

Oh, there's a downside to this.

- What! What downside?!
- The food.

You've never been
to Yugoslavia.

I hear they eat strange
things in the Orient.

Buddy, Yugoslavia's in Europe.

Oh, great, you can't
fight my logic,

so you hit me with geography.

Buddy, I gotta tell ya, I can't
believe how great everything

is working out tonight.

I mean, this date with Anna's
almost too good to be true.

I knew it was
too good to be true!

Hold it, hold it!
What's going on?

Deedee's older sister cancelled
our trip to the drive-in.

She said her mom was going into
labor, and they had to use

the car to take her
to the hospital.

Can you imagine!?

I mean, when did
the word commitment

stop having any meaning?

Wait a minute, wait,

does this mean you're
gonna be home all night?

probably for the rest
of my life.

Sarah, Jaime, there's gotta be
something we can work out here.

I got it, you could take the
bus to the drive in.

Thought you said we were too
young to go to the drive-in.

Oh, no, that was this morning!
You're older now!

Adam, you're supposed to be
dressed for a party.

It better be a pajama party.
I'm not going anywhere.

Cynthia Meyers picked today
to get the measles!

She's calling off the
party because of

a few measly measles?

Go anyway, you can play
connect the dots.

- The party's over Charles.
- You're tellin' me!

I think I better get ready
for the concert, Charles.

Buddy! My friend
and confidante.

Look Buddy, I know you
don't want to go to this
concert alone!

So you know what I'm going to
do, I'm gonna do find you

some dynamite company!
Let's see, uh...

You like Little Richard and the
Pointer Sisters ?

- Yes.
- Yeah, Great!

'Cuz you're gonna love

little Adam and the Powell
sisters! Right here!

Not a chance!

Wait come on Buddy,
wait a minute!

This is an honor, look,
until now I've never trusted you

to take care of
these kids, right?

But, over the past few months,
Buddy, I think you've grown.

And with Mrs. Powell's
permission,

I'm willing
to give you a chance.

You're going to have to give
me much more then that.

I wan't girls' names, addresses,
and phone numbers.

Plus I want your history notes
for the next two weeks.

Deal, kids, great news
guess what?

Uncle Buddy's gonna take you to
a free concert tonight

Isn't that wild!?

All right look, if you go to
the concert,

I'll make your beds every
morning for a week, huh?

- I say we go.
- Sounds fair to me.

What does one wear
to a free concert?

Buddy you saved my night!

Hey, no problem Charles,
you're my pal,

and if I can't have a night of
love, the next best thing

- is for you to have one.
- You mean that?

Actually, I thought I did,
until I said it out loud.

Walter Powell,
you get back here!

- Now, Ellen...
- Of all the nasty tricks!

Anything wrong, Mrs. Powell?

Dad had one of his
poker playing cronies

call my Aunt Felicia and ask
her out tonight, she agreed!

Of course she did,
she smelled live flesh.

Does that mean you're
not going out tonight?

No, I guess not!

Well, wait, that's perfect,
you can go to the free concert

- tonight, in the park!
- That sounds like fun... Dad?

- It's Glen Miller night!
- That man's a giant.

Hey, it's gonna be
a happening place,

And Buddy's goin' too,
I asked him to take the kids,

and they were thrilled
about it!

If that's okay with you,
of course, Mrs. Powell.

Of course.
I'll tell you what Buddy,

why don't we all go to the
concert together?

That's a good idea Mrs. Powell,
and I'll drive.

Just in case we all
wanna come home early.

No, you won't want
to come home early Buddy,

I know that from history.

History notes,
things like that.

Right, I'll drive just in case

we all don't want
to come home early,

which we won't want to.

[thunder and lightning]

Okay, thunder and lightning
but no rain, thats good.

Wait a minute, maybe Anna's
afraid of thunder?

I can protect her,
thats better.

[doorbell rings]

Hi.

[doorbell rings]

My Mamma, Poppa
and brother, Smrdelv.

♪♪

So that, uh... that, uh,
plane ride from Yugoslavia

must take quite a while, huh?

How you doin'?
Great.

Hey! Sports! Olympics!
Weightlifting! Excuse me.

Your guys really whipped
our guys bad, huh?

Steroids'll do that.

[thunder and lightning]

So, what do you study
in your school?

Me? I study liberal arts.

Art, there's no money in art.

No, I study a lot
of different things.

You see I study
English literature,

psychology, music.

Music, ohh, big money
in music video.

Ahh, you will make
good provider.

Better than brick maker
like Svensk.

- Who's Svensk?
- Anna's ex-boyfriend.

Ex? What happened to him?

I break them up,
he tried to kiss Anna!

I should have shot him.

Charles, you come to me with
kitchen? Okay by you?

No, thank you Anna.

You're father was just telling
me about Svensk.

Svensk, shmensk, American boy
make better husband.

American boy who
is good provider.

You know, I won't be a good
provider for years.

Dinner is ready, Charles.

I hope you are hungry.

Aren't you eating too?

In Dubrovnic maybe the woman
eat with the man.

But we are from Bregnisht,
small village.

In Bregnisht, the woman waits.

- It's cold.
- Thank you... Eat.

Sure thing, cold, cold soup,
and it's pink!

- The soup is pink!
- Something wrong?

No, no, I just prefer my cold
pink soup at room temperature,

so I'll just wait a bit.

While you wait, we show slides.

- Slides?
- Pay attention.

First slide... cow.

Anna, good cook.
Keep clean house.

Have wide hips,
plenty healthy babies!

If you'll excuse me
for a minute!

Maybe he don't like cows.

I'm sorry...
For whatever I did, I'm sorry.

Look, I'm too young
to get married.

I'm too young
for this date.

- Charles are you all right?
- Anna, yes I'm fine.

I just wasn't expecting
your family to join us.

And I certainly wasn't
expecting to join your family.

Families always come
on fist date.

Where is the family
you take care of Charles?

Well, by an amazing set
of circumstances

they've all gone out
for the evening.

Good, so we are all alone!?

No, Anna, we are
not alone here.

You see, your parents
and your big brother

are in the next room.

Now, what would happen
if they walked in here?

Oh, boy, Poppa and Smrdelv
would take turns k*lling you!

See, now I try to avoid that
kind of of thing, all right.

But I thought you wanted
to get to know me?

I-I do, Anna, and I want
you to know me,

but I don't, I don't
wanna die tonight.

Charles, Anna, come quick!

But, I think Poppa like you!
Good sign.

- Hi.
- Buddy what are you
doing here?

Well, the concert
got rained out.

What!? Where are the Powells?

Oh, don't worry, I-I lost 'em.

Wait a minute, you lost them?!

Buddy, how can you loose
an entire family?!

Well, it was easy.

See, when the storm broke out
everyone ran for cover,

and I went to a phone booth
to call you,

but just as i got to the booth,

it was struck
by a bolt of lightning!

And there were quarters and
dimes everywhere!

I got a dollar seventy-five!

Buddy, the Powells!

Oh, right, well, when I got
back to where I left them,

they were gone, I thought
maybe they took a cab.

Hello? Mrs. Powell!
Yeah, Buddy's here!

All right, I got it,
he's on his way!

They'll be the soggy mess at
the east end of the park, go.

Hey, Charles,
I'll tell you what,

why don't you go get the
family and I'll stay here

with Anna for a while.

Buddy you don't know
what you're saying!

Wait a minute, want to?

Of course I would.
Who wouldn't!

Well, uh, look if you insist...

All right, give me
the car keys.

You would do that for me?

Yeah Buddy, give me
the car keys.

You mean you would trust me
here with your date,

- while you went out in rain?
- Buddy, I don't mind,

just give me the keys!

I'm moved Charles, I'm touched,
I'm outta here!

No, Buddy, come on, don't
leave me with those people!

Buddy, don't go,
don't leave me...

Charles, come quick!
Smrdelv tell funny joke.

[singing]
♪ Hail to Bregnisht ♪

♪ Hail to Bregnisht
Land of wheat and dust ♪

♪ Come on boy and sing! ♪

[in unison]
♪ Hail, hail, hail, hail ♪

♪ Hail to dear Bregnisht! ♪

Beautiful, now, Poppa show him
what you have in your pants!

No!

No, no, no, look,
you've been too good to me
already.

Here's surprise!
Is good luck fish.

Wouldn't a rabbit's foot
take up a little less room?

Is old custom in Bregnisht.

[singing]
♪ When you wish upon a fish ♪

♪ all your dreams come true ♪
Is for you Charles.

Wear it in the best of health.

Everybody start grabbing
towels, and start drying... off.

- Nice fish Charles.
- This is my date.

- All of them?
- No.

- This is Mr. and Mrs. Grundov.
- Hello!

Call us Poppa and Mamma!

That's their son,
Smrdelv the Silent.

And that, that's my date Anna.
This is Mrs. Powell.

Well, Charles,
it's really nice of you

to invite Anna's
entire family to dinner!

In Bregnisht, parents always
meet boy who court daughter.

Court is a pretty strong word.

Bregnisht, huh? I had shore
leave there once.

Longest 24 hours of my life.
No offense, ma'am.

My family will go back, only I
will be staying in New Jersey.

In our village, this many
people in one room

- mean only one thing, party!
- Hey, I remember that!

- Come, we dance!
- Party!

It's a party all right,
it's a wedding party.

These people are looking
for a husband for Anna!

- Well, you did see her first!
- You dance with Anna.

Don't worry Charles,
I'll be your best man.

Excuse me, wait, wait a second,

Could, could everybody
just stop please!

Look, I have to say
something here.

Anna, you're a wonderful girl,

and I would love
to be your friend.

And you have a very nice,
warm family,

but Poppa, Mr. Grundov, I'm not
ready to get married.

So... who asked you?

I thought you wanted
me to marry Anna.

I mean, you showed me two cows
and what was in your pants.

Charles... Anna say you like big
brother to Powell family.

We want good friend for Anna
while she in college.

Protect my little girl like big
brother when parents

and Smrdelv go back
to Bregnisht.

Umm, let me get this straight.

Are you saying, that for the
next three years,

while you're
out of the country,

you want me to
keep an eye on Anna?

Oh, you bet!

What can I say, it would be my
pleasure. Okay by you?

Let's dance!

I hate it when
the lights go out.

I think it's romantic.

Charles, can I try
your wishing fish?

Yeah, sure, but don't expect
anything to happen.

Things like this are just
superstition, Adam.

It's coincidence!
All right, come on everybody,
go to bed.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Hello? Anna, well, uh...
what can I do for you?

I can?

♪ ♪