03x25 - The Heart Burglar

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ he's there just to take
good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

Okay, Sean,
I'll drop the tennis ball,

and you time it.

Now.
How long did it take?

Zero seconds.

Wow, that's fast!

Okay, now we'll time
the basketball.

Okay...
Now.

How long did it take?

I don't know. Uh...
Did it hit the floor yet?

Sorry. We must be doing
something wrong.

Whoa! Hold the ladder steady.
I'm coming down.

Whoa!
- Oof!

Way to go, Sarah! They love it
when you get aggressive.

Oh, Charles.
This is Sean Detwiler.

He's my study buddy.

Our teacher assigned us
to study together.

We were studying.

Nice to meet you, Sean.
What are you studying?

Free falling
or mountain climbing?

No, it's physics.
It's an experiment.

Uh, you're supposed to drop
your ba*ls from a high place

and see if they hit the ground
at the same time.

Sounds fun.

Look, you guys, if you're
gonna try and time the speed

of falling objects, you need
something higher

than that ladder, okay?

Alright. What's that?

Uh, I'm just working out,
trying to strengthen my grip.

Hey, Sarah,
I'll tell you what.

Take this, okay?
Hehe.

Drop that from your bedroom
window, okay?

I'll put this away for you.
- Okay, thanks, Charles.

Any time.

I always thought your
brother's name was Adam.

That wasn't my brother.
That was Charles.

Oh, he's the Charles you've
been talking about

all this time?

Yeah.

You really like him,
don't you?

Oh, yes. He's great.
I like him a lot.

[doorbell rings]
I got it.

Hey! Buddy! Carol!
- Hey, Charles.

Come on in. Hi.
- Hi, Charles.

Uh, Carol, this is Jamie.
That's Sean and Sarah.

Sean, this is Buddy.
- Hi.

Hi
- Hi, Buddy.

Jamie, Sean and I need to use
the bedroom for a while.

Go ahead. It's gotta be
a lot more comfortable

than the ladder.

Wait here, Sean.

I wanna make sure our room
isn't a mess.

Charles, come here.
I hate to say this,

but I think Sarah
is leaving Sesame Street

and moving into Miami Vice.

Sean and Sarah are doing an
experiment together.

Yeah, but what are you going
to do if it works?

It's a physics experiment.
The teacher teamed them up.

Oh! Oh.
Okay, well in that case,

I got our tickets for
the Nets game tomorrow night.

Two for you and two for me.
- Wait, no, Buddy.

I only needed one.

Oh, well isn't there anyone
that you wanna take, Charles?

No, not really.

Oh, well in that case, uh,
the three of us'll go together

and I'll see if I can sell
the extra ticket.

Alright. I'll see you later.
- Alright, come on, Carol.

Bye, Charles.
- Bye.

Nice meeting you, Sean.
- Bye.

Uh, you know, I've never been
to a Nets game.

Well, maybe your dad'll take
you some time.

Well, my dad doesn't live with
us anymore.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,
Sean. Uh...

Well, look, I gotta go.
I'm supposed to run about

three miles a day.

Hey, I got a stopwatch. I can
go along and time you.

I like to run.

But Sean, you've got your
assignment with Sarah,

don't you?
- Oh yeah.

Hey, Sarah. Would you wait
for me while I go running

with Charles?
It won't take long.

Sure, go ahead,

as long as we get our studying
done, that's all I care about.

Yeah, I know. Me too.
Okay, Charles?

Yeah, well if Sarah
doesn't mind, I don't.

Let's go.

See you later, Sarah.

Sorry.
- For what?

I dropped the ball.

One of us did.

Hola!

Hi, Charles. Your new
girlfriend's really pretty.

What new girlfriend?

The one who was here
yesterday, Carol.

Oh, no, Jamie,
you're very confused.

That's Buddy's girlfriend.

He's taking her
to the game tonight.

No, Carol has a crush on you,
Charles,

and you really like her too.
I know, and I also know

that Sarah really likes
Sean Detwiler.

Jamie! That's not true.

Sean and I are just
study Buddies.

In fact, if you want to know
the truth,

I don't like him at all.

Is that really the truth,
Sarah? Huh?

Well, back to the drawing
board, Jamie.

You're "O" for three.
Hoo hoo hoo!

No. You like Carol,
Carol likes you, and Sarah

likes Sean. I'm never wrong
about these things.

I can't help it.
It's a curse.

I'll show her a curse.

Well, Charles, the time has
come. I'm gonna teach Adam

how to survive for two days
and two nights in a cruel,

primitive and totally hostile
environment.

Oh, spending the weekend in
Newark, huh?

Hi. Ooh, what's all this?

Oh, I promised Adam I'd take
him camping so we're going up

to Wilderness State Park.

Dad, haven't you been
listening to the news lately?

They're having major forest
fires in that area.

Forest fires?

There goes our trip.

What a gyp.

I'll tell you what. We'll have
our survival weekend

right in our own backyard,
huh?

We'll sleep on the hard, cold
ground and be just as deprived

as if we were in the woods.
- Alright!

[doorbell ringing]
[Sarah]: I'll get it.

Okay, I'll get the old
pup tent out.

We'll move in
with Mother Nature.

Great, I'll get the extension
cord for the microwave.

Hold on. Mother Nature doesn't
come with appliances.

We're gonna be eating nothing
but roots, plants, berries

and small animals.

Mom, Sean is here.
May we use the bathroom scales

for our physics experiment?
- Well, I suppose so.

Uh, do I know this Sean?

Sean is Sarah's study buddy.

Our relationship is strictly
professional. Thanks, Mom.

What was that all about?

Beats me. Jamie accused Sarah
of liking Sean and, uh,

Jamie was wrong.

I mean, Sarah doesn't like
this kid at all.

I feel sorry for him.

Oh, well, Charles, you know,
life isn't fair sometimes.

If Sarah doesn't like him,
there's not much you can do

about it. Anyway, see you
after the baby shower.

[Charles]: Okay. Have fun.

Hey, Sean, nice outfit.

Charles. Charles, you're the
only one that can help us.

You always have
the right answers.

We're supposed to weigh
a frog, then measure

how high he can jump.

So, what's the problem?

Have you seen our frog?

Sarah, if there is a frog
loose in this house,

you're gonna find out how high
your mother can jump.

In that case, we'd better
go look for him.

Oh, Charles, uh, are you going
to the game tonight?

Mm hm.

Oh, did you run your three
miles today?

No, I'm about to.
- Can I run with you?

Well, alright, if, uh, if it's
okay with Sarah, I...

Yeah, let's go.

Grampa, there was a boy in
here, did you see him?

No.

Did you see a frog?

No.

You didn't see a boy
or a frog?

One of them should be here.

Sarah, you gotta stop reading
those damn fairy-tales.

Hi, Charles.

Hi!
- Hi.

Sean, I thought you went home
two hours ago.

He did, but he came back to
help me find my frog.

Yeah.
[doorbell ringing]

Hey!
- Hi, Charles.

Listen, we can't stay.
I have a late class today

so here's my plan.
I was thinking that you

could pick up Carol and bring
her over here tonight

and the minute my class
is over, I'll dash over

and we can all take off
for the game.

Would you mind picking me up,
Charles?

Mind?

Well, why would I mind?
You're Buddy's girlfriend

and Buddy's my best friend.
That makes us all friends,

right?
- Right.

We'll see you later.
- Alright.

No frog, Charles. We can't
find him anywhere.

I'll help you look for him
later, Sarah.

I gotta go to the library.
- Yeah, and I gotta get home.

Hey, Charles, you're not going
by way of 13th Street are you?

Yeah, I'll drop you off
if you want.

Thanks.
- Alright.

I'll see you later, Sarah.

Yeah, me too, Sarah.
I'll see you tonight.

Tonight?

I don't understand it.
Adam's the one who wanted

to go camping. Now I can't
find him anywhere.

If you see him, tell him
I'll be waiting for him

out in the tent.
- Yes, Grampa.

Sarah, sweetheart, have you
given up your search

for the enchanted frog?

Yes, Grampa.
- Good.

He said he'd see me tonight!

Hi, Mom.
- Oh, hi, sweetheart.

I'm sorry I'm so late but we
were having such a good time...

Adam. I thought you were
supposed to be

in the back yard, camping.

I am... I will... I was...

Sarah, are you going somewhere
tonight?

No, I'm just gonna stay home
and study.

Alone?

No, I believe, uh, what's his
name? ...is coming over.

Sean. His name is Sean,
and I rest my case.

You're in love.

I am not! Mom!

Jamie, stop teasing your
sister like that.

Now, Sarah should know whether
she likes Sean or not.

Anyway, I'm going upstairs
to change clothes.

No more arguing, okay?
- Okay.

Sarah, if you do like Sean
there's no reason

to be embarrassed about it.

Why should I like Sean?

He doesn't like me.
He barely talks to me.

All he wants to do is hang out
with Charles.

Then why are you all dressed up?

Because I could be wrong.

Sean and I hadn't planned to
study tonight,

and Charles won't be here,
but Sean said he was

coming over anyway.

Well, then there's your
answer. He's coming over

to be with you. Come on,
I have the perfect bracelet

to go with that dress.
- Okay.

It's gonna be a great game.

I didn't know you were such
a Nets fan.

The truth?

I'm not the least bit
interested in basketball.

I'm only going to the game
because you're going.

Yeah, but you're going with
Buddy,

and Buddy's my best friend.

Charles, Buddy may be there,
but I'll be with you.

Okay, I made it.

What's wrong?
- Wrong? Nothing's wrong.

What makes you think
something's wrong?

I don't know. You look funny.

Well, it's too late to change
clothes now, isn't it?

[doorbell ringing]
I'll get that.

Sean, hey!
Come on in.

Hi, Sean.
- Hi, Sarah.

Well, hey, we better get
going, huh?

Yeah.
- Yeah, the big game.

Can I get you a soda, Sean?
- Uh, thanks, Sarah,

but I don't think
I'll have time. See you later.

Where are you going?

Uh, with Charles.

I had an extra ticket for the
ball game tonight, Sarah,

so I thought I'd take Sean
with me, okay.

Bye.
- See you later.

That had to be the game
of the century.

I couldn't believe it!
- I know! That kid, Sean,

had the time of his life.
I'll tell you what.

Why don't we go into the
kitchen and crack open

a magnum of diet cola
and celebrate, huh?

I'd love to.

Okay. If we're gonna stay
that long, though,

I should park the car
someplace else.

No, Buddy, you stay here.
I'll go park the car, okay?

It's okay, I'll move it.
- Buddy, I insist.

I will park the car.

It's my car, I'll move it.

So, it was a pretty exciting
game, huh?

You know what I found
exciting?

You.

Charles, I've been dating
Buddy because he's cute

and outgoing and funny,
but I'm not in love with him.

Now, I've never thrown myself
at a man before in my life,

so if you don't want me,
say so.

Oh, I, uh...
Ah...

Carol, this is ridiculous!
You're Buddy's girlfriend

and Buddy's my best friend!
- I just date him, Charles.

I'm not his property.

Oh, okay.

I don't care what you say,
Jamie.

I never want to see him again.
- See who again?

Who don't you ever wanna see
again, Sarah?

You, Charles. Why don't you
just go wreck Buddy's life?

Patience, Sarah.
He's working on it.

Did you hear that?
They saw us!

She couldn't have.

Maybe Sarah's just upset
because you took her boyfriend

to the game.

Sean?
She doesn't even like him!

Okay, let's...
Whats wrong?

I don't know what's wrong.
Nothing, Buddy.

Wh-why do you always think
something's wrong?

I don't know.
I guess I'm always wrong

and if there's nothing wrong,
then I'm wrong, and that's why

you think that there's
something wrong.

Well, you're wrong.

Right.

Come on, let's get the soda.

I'm ready. I'm just gonna hang
up my jacket, okay?

Adam. Hey, you...

How much of that conversation
with Carol did you hear?

None of it, Charles.
I didn't hear a thing.

Please don't tell Grampa
I'm in here.

I hate Mother Nature.
I hate Father Nature.

I hate the whole nature family.

You know what we had for
dinner tonight?

Boiled weeds.

I don't want to camp out
anymore.

Well, don't tell me, tell your
grandfather.

I can't tell him.
It means too much to him.

Adam, we had this problem
before, okay?

You have to learn to be up
front with people.

Are you gonna be up front with
Buddy about stealing his girl?

Uh, don't worry, I won't tell
anybody,

if you smuggle me a pizza.

That's blackmail!
- I know.

Beat it, or I'll tell your
Grandfather

you were hiding in the closet.

That's blackmail!
- I know.

I don't think you're being
fair to Sean or Charles.

You can't pretend you don't
like a boy and then get mad

when people believe you.

You tell a boy
when you like him?

Of course not. I just let him
hang around

until he realizes he likes me.

I tried to do that.
- Not hard enough.

Sarah, if you had told Charles
you like Sean

he wouldn't have dragged him
off to the game last night.

I couldn't tell Charles.

Then you can't blame Charles.

Argh!

Adam, you peeping tom.

What are you doing?
- Help me, please.

I'm starving
in the wilderness.

I'll give you a thousand
dollars for a pizza.

[Mr. Powell]: Adam!
- Oh, oh, arghh!

Do you think he
broke anything?

Yeah, one of Mom's
rose bushes.

Buddy, listen,
I gotta talk to you.

Charles,
I have to talk to you.

Fine,
let me talk to you first.

No, Charles,
I have to talk to you first.

I gotta talk to you
about Carol.

That can wait! I have to talk
to you about Carol.

Carol?
- Yes.

You know, the last thing
I'd intentionally do

is hurt a friend.

Yeah, look, I'm sorry...
- And I don't have any use

for underhanded people...
- I don't deserve to live.

Carol's a sweet girl...
- I'm a home-wrecker.

Charles, would you quit
interrupting?

You're breaking my train
of thought!

I'm also a train-breaker.

Carol is the sweetest, nicest,
most intelligent girl

I've ever met...
- That's it, Buddy.

Whip it on me. Come on.

Charles, I have reason to
believe that you're

mildly attracted to her.

Mildly?

That's putting it mildly.

Buddy, I will never
see her again.

No, please, Charles,
don't say that!

You gotta take her
off my hands.

She's on your hands?

I told you, she's sweet, she's
nice and she's intelligent.

We have nothing in common!

I don't wanna hurt
her feelings.

You know, so if you could
just, you know,

take on a couple of dates,
and then I could slip quietly

out of this relationship,
and into one that's a little

more sleazy and meaningless.

What can I say, Buddy. I...
You're my best friend.

You got it.

Oh, Charles, you are a friend.
Thanks.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to make a house call.

A sorority house call!
[giggles]

Hey, Jamie.

Charles, we have to talk.
- Okay.

Now, I want you to listen very
carefully, okay?

Mm hm.

Are you ready?
- Yeah.

Sit up straight.
Shoulders back, head erect.

Here it goes.
Sarah likes Sean a lot.

You've been monopolizing
his time. Butt out!

Let's see. Shoulders straight,
head erect, butt out.

Sarah!

Adam, have you seen Sarah?

[Adam]: No! I don't get many
visitors in here.

Here's your pizza.
Knock yourself out.

[Adam]: Thanks, Charles.
- Alright, you're welcome.

Now, listen to me, Adam.
If you do not tell

your grandfather that you do not
want to go camping,

I am gonna
do it, okay?

Okay.

Right, you mean you'll do it?

No, I mean,
you'll have to do it.

[Mr. Powell]: Adam!
- Adam, wait. Adam!

Oh, Sarah, good. I'm glad
you're home.

I want to talk to you
about Sean.

I'm not interested, Charles.
Don't talk to me, talk to him.

He's your friend.
- Sarah, wait a minute.

I think Adam is hiding.
I don't get it. He's the one

who wanted to camp out.
I mean, does he think I enjoy

sleeping on the cold ground?
Does he think I enjoy eating

boiled weeds?
- Don't you?

Of course not.
It's k*lling me!

I mean, I paid my dues
in the Navy.

I deserve some comfort.

Yes, sir, you're right,
and I think you should call

the whole thing off.
Adam went camping,

he had a wonderful time and he
hated every minute of it.

He hated it? Why didn't he
tell me? Adam!

[doorbell ringing]
[Mr. Powell]: Doorbell!

Hey, Charles,
you going running today?

Uh, no, Sean.
I'm gonna sit today.

Come, sit with me.

Finish your assignment with
Sarah yet?

No, we have a couple more
experiments to do.

Plus, I still have to find
the missing frog.

Sean, let me tell you
something.

Sometimes, fate steps in

and brings two people together.

Now, if we ignore fate,

then we're gonna miss out
on a lot of good things.

Right? I mean, look how fate
brought you and Sarah together

as study buddies.
- Oh yeah.

Mm, only that wasn't fate.

I asked my teacher to assign
me to Sarah.

Why?
- Why?

Because I like her a lot.

Why'd you spend all your time
hanging out with me?

Well, even though I like Sarah
a lot,

I didn't know how to make her
like me.

Oh, so you thought that if you
ignore her, that would help.

No! Look, I know Sarah
likes you.

and I thought if I studied you
and learned to be like you,

she might start liking me.

Sean, Sarah likes me
like a brother.

That's not the kinda like
you're looking for.

Now, if you can't tell Sarah
that you like her.

at least act like you do.
You know why?

Because you're gonna lose her.
Okay?

Okay, I'll try.
- Alright, good man.

[clears throat]
Oh, hello, Sean.

Uh, hi, Sarah. Uh...

I didn't know you were here.

Uh, yeah, we got a lot of work
to do.

And I wanted to see you again.

Oh!
- Charles, guess what?

Grampa cancelled the rest of
our camping trip. I'm free!

Oh, that's good, Adam.
- Yeah, I'll say.

I couldn't take any more of
that nature food.

You know what we had for
breakfast this morning?

Frog legs.

Argghhhh!

tell him!
- I can't, Charles.

It's too painful.
- It's because you're a wuss.

Yeah? If you liked a girl,
would you tell her?

Sure! I'd just walk up to her,
grab her by the hair,

and I'd say "Hey, woman, from
now on, you belong to me."

How romantic.

Ah, that's pretty brave,
there, Adam.

You know, when I was your age,
I was afraid of girls.

You were afraid of girls?
- Yeah.

How could you be afraid
of girls?

Girls are a bunch of wimps.

I'm not afraid of girls.
Girls are afraid of me.

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see, I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪