01x16 - Pressure from Grandma

[bunniefuu]

♪ New boy in the neighborhood ♪

♪ Lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just to
take good care of me ♪

♪ Like he's one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing ♪

♪ I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪♪

Okay, Jason,
I'll help you practice

your baseball swing,
but remember,

you're responsible
for sweeping the kitchen

and watering the plants.

Charles, I'm not ready for
this kind of responsibility.

A boy my age shouldn't
be sweeping kitchens.

He should be learning
and playing and going

on vacation with his parents.

Honey, this isn't a vacation,
it's a business trip.

To Jamaica?

I get A's in geography, Mom.

I know what the weather
is like down there.

Jason, your parents are only
gonna be gone for a week.

We'll be fine,
we're gonna have fun.

Sweeping the kitchen
is not exactly a ride

at Disneyland.

Don't leave me here,
I wanna go with you!

Honey, Charles is gonna be here,

Grandma Irene is gonna be here,

you're gonna be fine.

Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Pembroke?

When Mrs. Pembroke gets here,
do you think you could say

something to her about my room?

What about your room?

Well, she thinks it's hers.

There's not gonna be
a problem, Charles,

she's gonna stay in our room.

Oh.

Is Grandma moving in with us?

No, honey, she's just
coming for a few days.

I explained all this to you.

Explain it to me again.

In Jamaica.

Sweetie, I wish we
could take you with us,

you know, Daddy would take
the whole family if he could.

We're gonna miss you
as much as you miss us.

-Honest?
-Of course.

Alone for a week
with no children.

Heaven!

We are going to
the islands, mon.

Okay, I don't mind the kitchen,

but I'm worried about
watering the plants.

Jason, I can tell you're
going to be a great waterer.

Know how?

You've got the wet look.

Charles, you're hosing me.

[doorbell ringing]

Hello, Charles!

Hello, Mrs. Pembroke,
how are you?

-Hi, Grandma!
-Oh, hello, sweetheart!

You can just go ahead
and take those things

to my room, Charles.

Yeah, well.

Mr. Pembroke,
your mother's here!

-Irene!
-Hello, Jill, sweetheart.

-Hello, Stan.
-Hello, Mom!

Stanley, I just asked Charles

to take these things
to my room and he said,

"Yeah, well, Mr. Pembroke,
your mother's here."

What do you think
he meant by that?

Yeah, well, um...

we sort of thought
while we were gone

to Jamaica that Charles
could stay in his room

and you could stay in our room.

And if you find you really
don't like their room,

then I'll move out of your room
and you can have my room.

Or maybe we should think
of it as our room?

Was he always
this good a salesman?

This is nothing,
wait until he makes you

think taking out
the garbage is fun.

Well, I'll go freshen
up and then decide.

And then decide.

Yes, ma'am.

Take your time.

Mr. Pembroke, about this week--

Charles, everything's
gonna be fine.

You know, Mrs. Pembroke's

gonna be busy with
business meetings

all week, I don't even think
you're gonna know she's here.

I just took a shot, Charles.

Uh, you're right,
we'll be fine.

Thank you, Charles.

I don't want anything to
disturb my business meeting

in Jamaica.

Charles, can I ask
Enid over for dinner?

Oh, please, Lila, not tonight.

Your grandmother just got here
and your parents are leaving

for the airport
and that makes me

in charge of dinner and I
wasn't figuring on guests.

What are you cooking?

Fried chicken.

You're frying chicken?

I'm buying chicken.

Now, with the five of us,
a bucket works out perfectly.

Maybe Enid could
come over tomorrow.

Okay, is Grandma upstairs?

Yeah, she's trying to decide
if she wants to evict Charles

from his room.

I'm gonna go say hello.

Do you want me to
take these up to her?

Would you do that for me?

Yeah.

Sneaky, Charles.

I'm just trying to
survive this week, Jason.

Well, I'm trying to survive
the fact that my parents

are never coming
back from Jamaica.

Of course they're coming back!

Well, they've never gone
away without us before!

I think they're just
using this business trip

as an excuse to leave us.

Oh, Jason, I don't think
any of you have done

anything so terrible that
would make your parents leave.

Wanna buy 400 candy bars?

They're never coming back.

Douglas, explain.

The Boys' Club is raising
money by selling candy bars.

If I sell 400 of them,
I win a free trip to New York.

If you sell 400 candy bars,
you could get an apartment

in New York.

Douglas, how are you going
to sell 400 candy bars?

If each person in this
house takes 67 of them,

I'm on top of the
Empire State Building.

Mom and Dad are
leaving us for good.

What's with him?

Oh, he's upset
because your parents

are leaving for the airport
and he's gonna have to clean

the kitchen.

I'll help you clean the kitchen.

You will?

If you buy your candy bars.

Deal.

Did Mom or Dad say
they weren't coming back?

They said they were sorry
they couldn't take us with them

and they were gonna miss us
as much as we miss them.

Don't you believe 'em?

♪ Matilda,
sing a little louder ♪

♪ Matilda, she take the
money and run Venezuela ♪

Everybody!

You're not coming
back, are you?

Guys...guys, just because
your parents are going

to a place like Jamaica,
and they're going to spend

a quiet week in the sun
with no children around,

doesn't mean they're
not coming back.

That is right, isn't it, sir?

Of course.

Guys, your mother and I
haven't had a vacation

together since Lila was born,

that's a long time.

It isn't that we
don't want you with us,

it's just it'll be so much fun

to spend some time
with each other.

I wish there were a way to
convince you it doesn't mean

we don't love you
very, very much.

Maybe if you each
bought 67 candy bars?

Not another candy drive!

When Lila had hers,
I had to go door to door

to sell it.

That is the beauty of my plan.

If each person in this
house buys their share,

nobody has to go out
and sell candy.

Douglas, I have to
get ready to leave.

How about on the plane?

Nobody likes airplane food.

People would be thrilled
that somebody was ambitious

enough to try and sell them.

We're not gonna make the plane
unless we finish packing.

What time is Herb getting here
to take us to the airport?

Oh, he's not.

I wanted the trip to be special,
so I ordered us a limo.

A limousine?

Stan, isn't that too expensive?

"Lifestyles of
the Rich and Famous.

This is Robin Leach
from Pembroke Manor

in New Brunswick, New Jersey."

All right, gentlemen.

How about meatloaf
for dinner tomorrow?

Yuck!

How about candy bars?

See, Douglas, I'm trying
to plan well-balanced meals.

Now, unless they made candy
a new basic food group--

Okay, Charles, I'll go out
and pound the pavement.

All right.

Wanna come with me, Jason?

It'll be fun.

How could selling candy be fun?

You could help me make up names

for people who slam
doors in my face.

Let's start with Mr. Abernathy,

I've got one I've
been saving for him.

Have fun, you guys.

Jason, put the broom away.

And don't be gone too long
so you can say goodbye

to your parents, okay?

Is that handsome
young man Douglas?

Hi, Grandma.

Douglas, I didn't recognize
you without your mask.

I don't wear it all the time.

It makes the neighbors nervous.

Have a candy bar.

Oh, sure, thank you,
how about one for Lila?

No problem, that'll be $2.00.

I don't have $2.00
on me, Douglas.

You're a woman
with a sweet tooth,

I'll let you run a tab.

You got it.

Dear, would you put on
some water for tea?

-Sure, Grandma.
-Thanks.

Charles, I'd like to
have a word with you.

I'd like to ask a favor of you.

You want the room?

No, I don't want the...
well, yes, I do want the room,

but that's not the favor.

Charles, I have
something in this envelope

that could make your life
easier than you ever imagined.

You have the answers to my
next week's chemistry test?

No...no, it's pizza,
a new kind of pizza.

Come with me.

I want you to taste this.

You brought it from Indiana?

Yes.

Well, at least it won't
burn the roof of my mouth.

I'm heating it up
in the microwave.

You're going to love this.

Charles, the man
who invented this pizza

rented a warehouse
for me in Indiana.

It's a remarkable product,
it has no real cheese

so it requires no refrigeration,

and the crust is made with
micro-encapsulated flour,

so it cooks in less
than 30 seconds

and it's delicious.

Sounds delicious.

[ding]

I know, I was skeptical myself.

You just wait till you try it.

Hey, that smells good.

And it tastes even better.

Go ahead, give it a try.

Well?

That's very good.

Great crust, it doesn't taste
microencapsulated at all.

I'm telling you,
the man who invented this

was a culinary genius,

but he couldn't sell
w*r paint to Indians.

Well, the minute I tasted
it, I knew its potential.

So, I convened him to
put me in charge of sales.

I do very well in real estate,

but this product,
this can make a fortune.

Only, I need your help, Charles.

Oh, Mrs. Pembroke, I've
bought my share of pizzas,

but I'm afraid I wouldn't
be much help in selling them.

Charles, I spent all morning
with marketing experts

who told me that the segment
of our population that eats

the most pizzas is eastern
seaboard college students.

Do you know what that means?

A lot of fatties east
of the Mississippi?

No, it means that I have to sell

to the places where
college students hang out,

which, according
to these experts,

are run mostly by young people.

Now, they wouldn't really
relate to me, you see?

So, I need somebody young,
I need you, Charles.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Pembroke,

but I don't think
I'm interested.

Charles, where do you
and your friends hang out?

The Lamplight.

Let's go there this afternoon.

Mrs. Pembroke, I'm really
very happy with my job here

taking care of the children,

and between that
and going to school,

I really don't have time

to get involved in
the pizza business.

I'm not asking you to
get involved in anything,

just come with me
and if we make a sale,

I'll give you 25
percent commission.

It's not a question of money.

[doorbell ringing]

Charles, what else do you have

to do this afternoon,

other than sit around here
while I try to decide

if you're gonna get
to stay in my room?

I wouldn't wanna watch that.

Go, Charles.

All right, I'll go.

[goofy laughing]

You're gonna love me, Charles!

You are gonna love me!

What's happening, Buddy?

You're not gonna believe this,

but I have a date this afternoon

with two stewardesses.

One for me and one for you.

Yay!

Yeah!

I can't go.

Charles, maybe you
didn't understand me.

These are stewardesses,
women trained to make men

happy at any altitude.

I'm taking Mr. Pembroke's
mother to the Lamplight.

Charles, I'm all for
going out with older women,

but choosing a grandmother
over a stewardess?

I'm not choosing, Buddy,

I was chosen.

Charles, we live in a lousy
neighborhood for selling candy.

Why, what's the matter?

What are the odds of having
five dentists on your block?

So, you didn't sell any?

No, but I got three
free toothbrushes.

Charles, I gotta get to
the stewardesses' apartment.

Bring your candy,
women love candy.

Douglas, I don't want to hear
any more about the candy.

How am I gonna get to New York?

Could be on the next bus.

I'll tell you what,
tomorrow, I promise

I will go with you and try
and help you sell some, okay?

Okay, Charles.

You sure you don't
want to buy any candy?

I'm sure.

You want to buy a toothbrush?

Charles, there has gotta be
some way you can go with me.

Impossible, Buddy.

Stewardesses, Charles!

What could be better
than stewardesses?

Nurses.

True.

But we're just college freshmen.

We've got no business
even thinking about nurses.

Wait a minute,
how did you pick up

two stewardesses?

I told 'em I was in med school.

Buddy, they're going
to know you lied.

Well, if they quiz me
on the parts of the body,

believe me, I'll pass.

I wish I could go.

You're gonna be sorry.

Yeah, I know.

A chance like this only
comes once in a lifetime.

Twice if you're a businessman
who flies first class.

Well, wish me luck.

Have a good flight,
Dr. Lembeck.

♪ Off we go into
the wild blue yonder ♪

Oh, thank you, Charles.

Jill, what do you have in here?

We're only going
away for a week.

Just my bathing suit
and the usual potpourri.

What is that,
French for "bricks"?

Well, this is it,
you kids be good.

Can't you stuff me
in your suitcase?

Oh, now listen, Charles
knows where to reach us

in case of emergency.

Stan, what if
there's an emergency?

There's not gonna
be an emergency.

Daddy, I know you're gonna
want to bring me back one

of those coconuts with
the funny monkey faces on it,

try to resist.

I'll try.

You sure you don't want to buy
a candy bar before you leave?

Okay, Douglas, I'll take one.

That'll be a dollar.

I've only got a 10.

That makes you
my best customer.

Will you go?

You're gonna miss your plane!

-Goodbye, everybody.
-You kids be good!

We love you!

Take me, take me!

Okay, now Mom, you and Charles
are gonna be okay, aren't you?

Stop worrying!

Charles and I are
getting along fabulously.

Terrific.

Now that Charles
is working for me.

♪

♪

Oh, Charles,
on the way over here,

I was thinking,
I need something

to give this product
that personal touch,

so I'm gonna call it

Mama Garibaldi's
Homestyle Pizza

and I'll be Mama Garibaldi.

No offense, Mrs. Pembroke,
but you look as much like

a Mama Garibaldi as that
pizza looks homestyle.

Hey, Charles, how are ya?

Good, Frankie.

I've someone I'd
like you to meet.

Hello, Frankie,
I'm Irene Pembroke,

I'd love to talk to you about
a new product for the Lamplight.

Can we sit down?

Forgive her, Frankie, she's shy.

Frankie, I'd like you to try
a piece of the best pizza

you'll ever taste.

Looks like shoe leather.

It requires no refrigeration,

has a shelf life of six months,

and your markup is 150 percent.

Looks delicious.

Go pop it in your microwave,

see for yourself.

-Well--
-It's good!

Okay.

Charles, that was excellent
the way you said, "It's good,"

with such sincerity,
that's very important.

I meant every word of it.

Charles, hi.

Oh, Mrs. Pembroke, how are you?

Hello, Gwendolyn!

How are things going?

Very good, very good.

I am now on the committee
to improve student life

and you don't know how much
time and effort this takes.

I mean, Charles,
have you noticed the lines?

By your eyes?

What lines by my eyes?

You said that I noticed
the lines, I-I--

I was talking about the
cafeteria lines, Charles.

You see, I got them to put
in an extra cash register,

so the lines are shorter.

Are you telling me
I have lines by my eyes?

Do you see lines by my eyes?

Your eyes look fine.

Sure, for somebody with lines.

Gwendolyn, you don't
have any lines.

You know, it's not easy
being a leader, Charles.

You never hear anybody
complaining about the lines

around Reagan's eyes.

Are you feeling
stressed about this job?

You mean stressed
enough to cause lines?

No, I'm not.

Where are you going?

To the bathroom, Charles,

to powder my lines.

She's adjusting well,
don't you think?

Oh, beautiful, well,
Frankie, how'd you like it?

I know you loved it,
everybody loves it.

Frankie, I'm going to let
you be the sole outlet

for this pizza
at Copeland College.

How many cases would you like?

How much is it?

For you, 50 cents a slice.


Let's say we start
with 15 cases.

All right, how about eight?

How about ten?

Well, the freight rate's
the same as for eight,

and let's see, that would
bring your cost per slice

down to 47 cents
for the two extra cases,

pretty good.

Okay, ten.

You got it.

I hope this works out.

It's good.

Well, Charles.

How do you like
working for me so far?

Mrs. Pembroke, I don't think
of myself as working for you.

Charles, you just made $300.

I'd say you're working for me.

Ooh, what's this?

A surprise visit
from Dr. Lembeck?

I just wanted to
stop by and tell you

you didn't miss anything.

They turned out not
to be real stewardesses.

What?

Phony flygirls for
the fake physician?

They're going to
stewardess school.

It's not the
same thing, Charles.

I mean, I thought
it would be perfect

when I walked in there,
all they had to eat

were these little
packages of peanuts.

I thought, "This is a good sign,

they steal from work,
definitely low morals."

But you couldn't get them
off the ground, huh?

More like a crash landing.

I still wish I
could've gone with you.

Oh, Grandma Pembroke's
not such a fun date, huh?

Buddy, we went to the Lamplight

to sell pizza.

I made $300.

Can I date her next Saturday?

It wasn't a date.

You know, making that much money
makes you think about things

like making money

and your future
and making more money.

Wasn't exactly how I wanted
to spend my Saturday.

Oh, responsibility,
it's a k*ller.

You wanna come with me
for some medical help?

No, I'll pass.

I thought you said we
weren't ready for nurses.

We're not, but we're
just the right age

for candy-stripers.

Have fun!

See you later!

Charles, we should
go to Rutgers.

Thank you, but I'm very
happy at Copeland College.

Not to go to school,
to sell pizza.

I want you to drive over
to Rutgers right now,

it's not that far from here.

Mrs. Pembroke, Lila's
due back from the mall

and the kids should be back
from the Abernathy's any minute

and it's my
responsibility to be here.

Charles, I'll be
responsible for the children.

I was responsible
for their father.

In a way, you might say
there wouldn't be

any children for you
to be responsible for

if I weren't so responsible.

Go, Charles.

See, I really do
have a chemistry test

and if I don't start
hitting the books, I--

You know, I don't think
you realize what we have here.

This could be
the next fad food craze.

It could be bigger
than McNuggets!

Bigger than McWeenies!

Bigger than McAnything!

Mrs. Pembroke, I just
don't think you need me.

And you, oh, I saw you
work this afternoon.

You're a born salesman,

you made $300 in
less than an hour.

Now you can go to Rutgers
and double your money.

We're sitting on a gold mine.

It is a lot of money.

You understand the business,
you have a feel for it.

Why, you knew that I
shouldn't be Mama Garibaldi.

You knew right away
Mama Garibaldi was you.

♪

All right,
you herbivorous hombres.

Put up your leaves
and keep 'em up!

Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!

Agh, you got me,
you sidewinding weed!

Jason, can you
please hold it down?

Lila!

I'm on the phone!

Children, it's too noisy!

This isn't noisy,
this is normal.

Charles lets us
get a lot noisier.

Well, Charles is not
going to be around

so much anymore,
so we're gonna have

to make some adjustments.

What do you mean, Charles
isn't gonna be around as much?

I gotta go.

Where's Charles going?

Well, Charles is going
to be spending more time

selling pizza,
so I'm going to be spending

more time with you.

Hi.

I knew it, you came back for us!

Hopefully, just for tonight.

There was a tropical
depression over Jamaica,

so they wouldn't
let us take off.

It should be clear
by tomorrow, otherwise,

there's gonna be a tropical
depression right here.

Can you believe they made us
sit on the plane for six hours

before they canceled the flight?

You must've been miserable.

I only wish I had
more candy to sell,

those things went
like hot cakes.

You'll be better
prepared tomorrow.

I'm glad you came back.

I have some wonderful
news to share with you.

Mr. and Mrs. Pembroke!

Temporary Mr. and Mrs. Pembroke.

We leave again tomorrow.

Charles, how did you do?

Did you sell as much
as at the Lamplight?

-No.
-Oh, no.

I sold twice as much.

That's incredible.

That's incr--do you realize
the potential of this thing?

If you sold that much
pizza in one afternoon,

think what can you do
when you start traveling

the entire east coast!

Wait, Charles is
going traveling?

Yes, isn't it wonderful?

You know, this is
going to be a windfall.

I'm going to have to
rethink my entire operation.

I really should relocate
to be nearer to the business.

Hey...you're moving here?

Well, now, I hadn't really
thought of moving here,

but now that you mention it.

Yes, with Charles on the
road selling pizza for me,

I could move in with you.

I could have my room back.

Mrs. Pembroke, this
is happening very fast.

I know, isn't it exciting?

I'm going right up
and call Indiana

and tell him the good news.

Charles, why would you leave us?

You have a very
good job right here.

I mean, in the five
months you've been here,

you've saved how much money?

$80.

$80...$80, that's very good.

Do you know how much pizza
you'd have to sell to make $80?

How much did you make today?

$900.

You made $900?

It's a lot of money,
I know, it's a fortune.

He couldn't talk,
his dough was rising.

Mrs. Pembroke, may I have
a word with you, please?

Oh, yes, I want us
to go and plan

your first business trip.

Charles, are you leaving us?

No, I'm not, Jason.

Mrs. Pembroke, on the
way back from Rutgers,

I started thinking
about all that money

and what I would do with it

and what I would do
is go to school.

Well, you see, I'm already
in school and I like it

and I already have
a job and I like it

and I'm already doing
what I want to be doing.

So, I'm afraid that, uh,
I don't want this job.

You're just saying this
because you don't want me

to have the room.

Exactly.

I want to stay here.

But, Charles, you see,
without a great salesman

like you, my company can't grow

and I want this so much.

Mrs. Pembroke, you have
a great salesman...you!

You're the one who convinced
me to go out there and sell

when I didn't want to.

You sold the pizza to
the Lamplight, not me.

You wouldn't believe
how she got Frankie

to take two extra cases.

I did just slide those
babies in there, didn't I?

You can still get
a place nearby, Mom.

Well, I suppose
I would be happier

in my own apartment
with my own privacy.

That way,
I wouldn't have to worry

about you disturbing me
if I bring a date home.

A date?

Yes, I do date, you know.

-Really?
-Really?

Yes, really.

All right, then,
that's what I'll do.

I'll get an apartment,
I'll sell the pizza,

and, of course, I'll still
stay here for the holidays.

Of course.

In my room.

In our room.

♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ And I sing ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪♪