03x09 - The Secret Society of Poohbahs

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Dance your cares away ♪

♪ Worry's for another day ♪

♪ Let the music play ♪

♪ Down at Fraggle Rock ♪

♪ Work your cares away ♪

♪ Dancing's for another day ♪

♪ Let the Fraggles play ♪

We're Gobo, Mokey,
Wembley, Boober, Red!

-[female Fraggle]
Whoopee!-Wowee!

Ooh, a Fraggle!

[Gobo groans]

[chuckles] Hey, look, Ma.

-I caught a Fraggle!-[screams]

[Gobo] Whoa! Whoopee!

♪ Dance your cares away ♪

♪ Worry's for another day ♪

♪ Let the music play ♪

-Yahoo!-♪ Down at Fraggle Rock ♪

♪ Down at Fraggle Rock ♪
♪ Down at Fraggle Rock ♪

Down at Fraggle Rock.

[exhales, snorts]

[snores]

[gasps]

I don't believe it.

I just don't believe it.
Sprocket, do you believe it?

Of course you don't
believe it. No one could.

Sprocket, Ned Shimmelfinneyhas
become a Chipmunk.

[exclaims, whimpers]

Oh, no, no, Sprocket. Not oneof
those cute, little furry animals.

A Chipmunk, the Royal
Order of Chipmunks.

One of those secret lodges.

-[sighs]-Well, exactly.

Imagine a bunchof grown
men dressing up in silly uniforms

-[snoring]-and reciting
a lot of secret trash.

[phone rings]

Hello.

What?

Well, yes, of course.

Tomorrow night? Well,
[stammers] of coursel could be there.

-[Sprocket snoring]-Sprocket,
it's wonderful.

I've been asked to
become a Chipmunk.

[groans]

[Red] "So Trindal,
the Princess of Light..."

Red? Oh.

"wandered for hoursthrough
the Forest of Midnight." [gasps]

"Suddenly, a hideous
Gibbabeastcame up and screamed..."

-Red!-Ahhh!

-[loud crash]-[whimpering]

Red, look! It's the
Beglerbeg. [gasps]

[Red] Oh, him. Big deal.

[Mokey puffs] It is a big deal.

He is the leader ofthe Exalted
High Holy Order of Poohbahs.

[Red] Listen, the
Poohbahs are just a fad.

It's the dumbest
thing to hit the rock

ever since that timewe
painted our tails blue.

Red, how can you say that?

Why, the Poohbahsare the
most secret, exalted society

in all of Fraggledom.

[Red sighs] So secret, no one
even knows who's a member.

[Mokey] I know I'm not.

But I sure would love to be.

-Sounds dumb to me.-[sighs]

But if you want to be a Poohbah,
why not go ask the Beglerbeg?

- [gasps]-Yeah.
- [gasps]-Yeah.

-No, no. I couldn't
do that, Red.-Yeah.

-No, Red, please.-Sure.

I'm probably not
worthy, you know...

-Grovel, grovel.-Yes, yes.

-[Red] Don't take it so
seriously.-But, Red...

-If you wanna be a Poohbah, go
for it.-I can't speak to the Beglerbeg.

-I'll just die.-Yes, you can.

-Grovel, grovel.-Yeah, yeah.

-[squeals] Uh...-And
what do you want?

-[stammers] Oh.-[sighs]

Please, Mr. Beglerbeg...

-Do not call me
Beglerbeg!-[gasps]

Only a Poohbah may
call me by my name.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. Uh, I...

Did you know you havea
spot on your sweater?

-No, no. Oh, oh, gee.-[chuckles]

[titters] It's just
blueberry juice.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Uh...
You won't bother me anymore.

[shrieks]I mean, I won't
bother you anymore.

[pants] And I'm sorryl
said Beglerbeg. [gasps]

[shrilly] I said it
again. [squeaks]

Uh... [sighs]

I think you should know: she
takes things a little too seriously.

-[sighs]-Oh?

Oh!

That was the most humiliating
experienceof my entire life.

That was the most humiliating
experienceof my entire life.

Who cares about the Poohbahs?

He noticed my dirty sweater.
I called him by his name.

Oh, it was awful.

Forget it. Come on.
We'll have a nice evening.

-I'll even cook supper.-I
don't want supper.

I'll cook okra surprise.

Red, you know I hate okra.

Even you hate okra.

Well, don't you want to knowwhat
the surprise is in okra surprise?

No.

There's no okra. [cackling]

Red, will you please
not jokeat a time like this?

I have just humiliated myself.

-I'll never eat again.-Uh...

"Then did the bird,
the dull gray bird,

sink down and down
beyond to, um... despond."

Huh?

Hmm.

Ah.

"Turn around." Okay. Hmm.

[shrieks, gasps]
[shrieks, gasps]

-This is for you.-[stammers]

Oh. Well, gee. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Yes.

-Grovel, grovel? Thank
you.-Uh, grovel, yes. Thank you.

-Thank you. Grovel.
Grovel.-Grovel. Grovel.

[both sigh]

Uh, well, what... What,
um, ex... Well, what? Uh...

"To Mokey Fraggle,"
um... [murmurs]

[gasps, sighs]

-[snores,
murmurs]-[Mokey panting]

-[squeals]-[Red murmurs]

-Red!-Ahhh!

-Were you asleep, Red?
Hmm?-[Red whimpers]

-Huh? What? Yeah.-It
was nap time. I was in bed.

My eyes were closed.
What's your guess?

-Red.-[sighs]

-I have news that will
frizz your fur.-Yeah?

I have news that will kink your
tail, and make your pigtails pop.

Ah. Well, terrific. This newswill
completely rearrange my body.

-[squeaks]
Yes.-So tell it to me.

-Red.-Huh?

I have been invited to jointhe
Exalted High Holy Order of Poohbahs.

I have been invited to jointhe
Exalted High Holy Order of Poohbahs.

-[gasps]-Doesn't surprise me.

I knew you'd be surprised.
Here's the invitation. [puffs]

I believe you, Mokey.

Just remember, the
Poohbahs is a silly society.

Not silly, solemn.

It's silly to think it's solemn.

Oh, look. Here, here.

It says in the invitationthe
initiation will be at Firefly Cavern.

I must be proved worthy.

-Oh, you'll be worthy.-[sighs]

Oh, look! Here's a little
noteat the bottom I hadn't seen.

Um, "Under no circumstancesmust
you tell anyone of this invitation."

Oh, no!

-No problem.-[gasps] No problem?

Of course it's a
problem. I told you.

-Well, how are they
gonna know?-[whimpers]

Honestly, Mokey, you are taking
thingstoo seriously these days.

I'm taking it seriously,
Red, because this is serious.

-[fanfare]-Halt!

[singsong] Who goes there?

[singsong]It is I, the
very most early Vanguard.

[singsong]It is I, the
very most early Vanguard.

Vanguard of what?

Vanguard of that body of
Fraggleswhich is so exalted

that I'm unworthy
to speak its name.

Who, then, may speak its name?

[singsong] I, the most outspoken
speakerof the name may speak the name.

Then I repeat, halt.
Who goes there?

The Very Exalted
High Holy Order of...

-Poohbahs.-[gong sounds]

-[trumpet fanfare]-[all] Uh.

[repeats]

[all] Uh.

Uh.

Uh.

Uh.

-♪ Uh-huh ♪-Uh. Uh.

-♪ Uh-uh ♪-Uh. Uh.

-♪ Uh-huh ♪-Uh. Uh.

-♪ Uh-uh ♪-Uh. Uh.

- ♪ Toenail ♪-Uh. Uh.
- ♪ Toenail ♪-Uh. Uh.

-♪ Uh-huh ♪-Uh. Uh.

-♪ Won't fail ♪-Uh. Uh.

-♪ Uh-uh ♪-Uh. Uh.

♪ Uffafluff and Oopadad ♪

-♪ Were walking by
the sea ♪-♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ "Uffafluff," said Oopadad ♪

-♪ "Will no one marry
me?" ♪-♪ Uh-uh ♪

♪ "Oopadad," said Uffafluff ♪

-♪ "I wouldn't care
to say" ♪-♪ Uh-uh ♪

♪ Then Uffafluff and Oopadad ♪

-♪ Continued on their
way ♪-♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Life is busy ♪

♪ Life is grim ♪

♪ Life's a light ♪

♪ That's dim, dim, dim ♪

♪ Treat it with a
frow-wow-wown ♪

♪ Turn your buttons down ♪

♪ Don't be happy ♪

♪ Don't be g*y ♪

♪ Don't just laugh
your life away ♪

♪ You can learn to
frow-wow-wown ♪

♪ Turn your buttons down ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Uh-uh ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Uh-uh ♪

♪ Toenail ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Won't fail ♪

♪ Uh-uh ♪

♪ Uh-uh ♪

[gong sounds]

The Poohbahshave
achieved a state of arrival.

-[assemblage] Ooh.-And now,

here's our ultimate ruler,
the most groveled before,

magisterial Beglerbeg!

-[gong sounds]-Welcome,
Poohbahs.

-[all] Grovel, grovel.-Yes, yes.

We are gathered here
todayto bring into our midst

We are gathered here
todayto bring into our midst

one who may be worthy
of Poohbahood. Hmm.

[singsong]She whom
all Fraggles call Mokey.

[all, singsong] Mokey.

Let she that be her
be brought forward.

-[Mokey] Of course.-[Poohbah


-There she is.-[chattering]

-Mokey Fraggle?-Yes?

Are you worthy to be a Poohbah?

Oh, I hope so. Oops.

[Beglerbeg] Fellow Poohbahs.

Is she worthy to be a Poohbah?

-[Poohbah 2] Sure. Why
not?-[Poohbahs murmuring]

-[Poohbah 3] No!-What?

Hark. The voice you hear is thatof the
Most Noble, Telepathic Mind Reader.

-I knew you were going to
say that.-[Poohbahs murmur]

I have looked into the
heartof this Fraggle,

and I have found her to be...

-[blows raspberry]-...unworthy.

-[all clamoring]-[Mind
Reader cackles]

Oh! And what has she doneto
achieve this state of unworthytude?

She disobeyed our first
order.-[Mokey stammers]

She disobeyed our first
order.-[Mokey stammers]

She told her roommate,
Red, of our invitation.

-[Mokey gasps]-[cackles]

-Uh...-Oh.

How did she know?

-Silence!-[whimpers]

Mokey Fraggle, now you
will never become a Poohbah.

[random Poohbah] Oh,
never. Never. Never, never.

-[humming]-Well,
here I am, a Chipmunk.

Sprocket, what are you
doingwearing my helmet?

That looks ridiculous on you.

I, on the other hand,
look quite dashing.

[clattering]

[sighs]

Please, Mr. Beglerbeg.
I didn't mean to disobey.

It's just that, well, I got very
excitedand I told my roommate, Red,

before I even read the
noteand, oh, I'd never do anything

to offend the Poohbahs.

-Too late!-[Mokey gasps]

There is no way for you to join our
ranks, short of undergoing The Trial.

-[all gasp]-[Mokey stammers]

-I'll do it.-You
would be willing

to undergo The Trial?-I'll do
anything to become a Poohbah.

To undergo The Trial?-I'll do
anything to become a Poohbah.

In that case, I appointthe
Royal Vanguard to act as judge.

-Guilty.-[gasps]

Or possibly innocent. I can
never remember which is which.

Not yet, Judge. Not yet.
First, give her the rule book.

The rule book. Yes.

Guilty is the partwhen you've
done something bad, I think.

Prepare yourself.

Return tomorrow nightbringing
with you the Fraggle called Red.

Red? Red must come, too?

And be prepared to tell
uswhat you should tell us.

What should I tell you?

-You tell us.-[all laughing]

Now, throw this foolhardy young
Fraggleout of Firefly Cavern!

-[Mokey stammers] Oh!-[Poohbahs]
Out, out. Get out. Away, away.

Innocent is the one I
can never remember.

Doesn't that have
something to dowith lambs?

[Mokey panting]

[gasps]

- Red!-Ahhh!
- Red!-Ahhh!

-[crash]-[Red whimpering]

You weren't asleep,
were you, Red, huh?

Mokey, haven't we
done this before?

Listen, Red. I went to Firefly
Cavernjust when they said.

First was the Keeper of the Cavern,
thenthe Vanguard and Speaker of the Names.

And then the Poohbahs came in.
[hums]And then they brought me forward.

And then the Beglerbeg,
he said very nice things.

But the Mind Reader
said bad things!

Now I have to have a trialand
you have to help. [pants]

Mokey, why don't you tell
the Poohbahsto take their club,

fold it four ways, and
give it to the Doozers.

-Red! Red, will you
be serious?-[gibbering]

-You have got to help
me. Please!-[gasping]

All right. All right. But
after my morning jog.

Oh! Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

Uh, here you go. Have a
cup of the hot stuff, Spanner.

Thank you. Do you have thosejelly-filled
food pellets this morning?

- Uh-uh. Just custard.-Again? Yuck. Ugh.
- Uh-uh. Just custard.-Again? Yuck. Ugh.

[Mokey panting]

[Red] So, I have to memorize this
speechand give it to the Poohbahs.

-[Mokey] Yeah.-Is that all?

Oh. Well, that's the main thing.

But you have to give the
speechin a... a secret language.

Huh?

Yeah. You have to
speak...[whispers] Oopadad.

-Like I said: Huh?-Oh,
Red. Oopadad is easy.

You take the first letter of the word,
put it on the end and add "oopadad."

-[sighs]-So, Red
becomes "Ed-roopadad"

-and Mokey "Okey-moopadad."
-Uh-huh.

So then, Fraggle
is Aggle-froopadad?

-That's ight-roopadad.-No,
it's oofy-goopadad.

-[Red growls]-Oh, Red! Wait.

Wait, Red. [pants]
Oh, Red, Red, Red.

I simply have got to become a
Poohbah. If I don't, I'll just die.

Oh, Mokey! Watch outfor
the imming-swoopadad ool-...

-[Mokey] Whoa!-[splashing]

- poopadad.-[groans]

Mokey, you see, in the Oopadad
language, imming-swoopadad ool-poopadad

Mokey, you see, in the Oopadad
language, imming-swoopadad ool-poopadad

- means "swimming pool."
- I know what it means, Red.

I gotta tell you, Mokey, you're
not smiling much these days.

-[growls]-I wish you'd remember

-that song Gobo wrote.-Don't
you dare sing, Red.

♪ One day, I was walking ♪

-♪ And I met a little
worm ♪-[groans]

♪ All that worm
could do was smile ♪

-♪ And I began to
squirm ♪-I don't believe it.

♪ When I asked
him why he smiled ♪

♪ Though all the
world was gray ♪

♪ He smiled at me,
real mild at me ♪

♪ And then I heard him say ♪

♪ Just keep on smilin' ♪

♪ Life can be worthwhile 'n' ♪

♪ If you keep on smilin' ♪

♪ Life smiles back at you ♪

Nice, huh, Gobo?

Yeah, they're singing my song.

Well, it's a very silly song.

Why, thank you.

But listen to me, Mokey. It's
not as silly as the Poohbahs.

The Poohbahs are not silly.

They are too. What
do you think, Gobo?

I think you're
interrupting my song.

-[Wembley] Oh!-[Red laughs]

♪ Now I find that every time ♪

-♪ My spirit starts
to fail ♪-Yeah?

♪ When I meet a grizzly bear ♪

- ♪ While going for the mail ♪-Huh.
- ♪ While going for the mail ♪-Huh.

♪ Or if a mad rhinoceros ♪

♪ Decides to come and stay ♪

♪ My thoughts
returnStraight to that worm ♪

♪ And what I heard him say ♪

-Will you... ♪ Just
keep on smilin' ♪

♪ Life can be worthwhile 'n' ♪

♪ If you keep on smilin' ♪

♪ Life smiles back at you ♪

♪ Just keep on smilin' ♪

♪ Life can be worthwhile 'n' ♪

♪ If you keep on smilin' ♪

♪ Life smiles back at you ♪

♪ Just keep on smilin' ♪

♪ Life can be worthwhile 'n' ♪

♪ If you keep on smilin' ♪

♪ Life smiles back at you ♪

♪ You ♪

I think it's time for me
to leave.[inhales deeply]

-[splash]-You're
still not smiling!

[squeaking]

-I've got it.-Really?

You've memorized
the whole speech?

I promised I'd help, and I
will, no matter how dumb.

Oh, good, good. Wait, wait.

Nope. No one around to hear.

Go on. Go on. Recite it for
me. Go on. Go on. Go on. [pants]

Oh, oly-hoopadad
oohbahs-poopadad.-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, oly-hoopadad
oohbahs-poopadad.-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I ow-boopadad
efore-boopadad ou-yoopadad.

Ah! Very good, Red.

Um, except I thinkyou've
got the accent wrong.

It should be,"Oh, oly-hoopa-dad
oohbahs-poopa-dad.

I ow-boopa-dad
efore-boopa-dad..."

What's wrong with Mokey?

[both gasp, stammer]

Oh, Red. What's wrong with
me? Please, please. What...

-Mokey was talking in a secret
language.-[Mokey shrieks]

Uh, she was not. Uh,
actually, she's delirious.

Oh, terribly ill with
a dreadful fever.

[sighs]

The rock grows dark
around me. I must lie down.

I must ie-loopadad
own-doopadad. [sighs]

[whimpers] How awful. It
must be galloping-tongue fever.

-Yeah.-The only
possible cure is hot soup.

-We have no soup.-I have soup.

-You do?-I do.

You do?

I was taking it to Gobo.

But this is an emergency.Here.
This may cure you, Mokey.

- Oh, anks-thoopadad.-Mm.
- Oh, anks-thoopadad.-Mm.

[slurps]

-What kind of soup is it?-Okra.

Uh-oh.

[gagging]

-[cup smashes]-[yelling]

-[stammers] Are
you cured?-[chokes]

[yelling]

[Red whimpers]

She needs more soup.
Fortunately, I've got more.

Uh, I'm cured.

-Yes, I feel much better.-What?

Thank you very much. I'm cured.

-[stammers] Boober.-Ahhh!

-Thank you for
helping.-[stammering] But, but...

Yes. Glad you
could come visit. Yes.

-It's been a nice visit. A little
strange.-Goodbye. Yeah, yeah.

-[grunts] Uh...-So long. Yeah.

- I guess. Bye.-Oh!

-Oh, Mokey, are you okay?-Yech!

Okra soup. Yech.

[stammers] You can't
takeokra soup seriously.

It's bad enough you're
takingthe Poohbahs too seriously.

The Poohbahs? Oh, no!
I'll be late for The Trial.

Ahhh!

-[chattering]-[Poohbahs]
Grovel, grovel.

[horn remains silent]
[horn remains silent]

[Poohbahs, continuously]Grovel,
grovel. Grovel, grovel.

-[horn blasts]-Whoa!

[crashing, glass breaking]

The trial of Mokey
Fraggleshall now begin.

All Poohbahs...

should be present.

The judge will call the roll.

All present shall
replyby saying "present,"

and all absent shall
replyby saying "linoleum."

-Fritz.-[together] Present.

-Fritz?-Present.

-Fritz?-Present.

-Fritz.-Present.

-Fritz.-Linoleum.

That Fritz, he's never
herewhen you need him.

And finally, Fritz, Fritz,
Fritz, Fritz, Fritz and Fritz.

-Present.-Present.

-Present.-Present.

-Present.-Present
with an explanation.

Mm.

All present and accounted
for, except for Fritz.

Thank you, Fritz.

And now, let the defendant,
Mokey Fraggle, be brought forward,

along with her friend,
Fritz... I mean, Red.

- [clamoring]-[Mokey and Red gibbering]
- [clamoring]-[Mokey and Red gibbering]

First, Mokey, you can
save us alla lot of time.

Tell us what you should tell us.

-Red, what should I tell
them?-Tell them it's silly.

Be serious.

Since you have made no answer,
let the judge present the charges.

-Fritz?-Mokey Fraggle is
guilty of a naughty thing.

-[all gasp]-And
so is her friend.

-[gasps] Red is innocent!-Yeah.

-She can't be
innocent.-[Mokey gasps]

-I don't know what the
word means.-Oh, dear.

Mokey, just tell uswhat
you should tell us.

-But I don't know what I
should tell you.-[Red growls]

Then you may both have to
undergothe Ordeal of the Glumberglotz.

[all gasp]

Before the sentence is
carried out, the guilty parties

may state their defense.

-Is Red Fraggle
ready?-Yeah, yeah.

Go ahead. Go, go.

Oh, alted-exoopadadigh-hoopadad
oly-hoopadad...

Wait! She may not speakuntil
Mokey has introduced her.

Wait! She may not speakuntil
Mokey has introduced her.

-Oh.-Oh. We're sorry.

Um, let's see, uh, this
is my good friend, Red.

Wait! You cannot
introducea speech in Oopadad

-unless you are speaking
Uffafluff.-Uffafluff?

That's ight-ruffafluff.

Oh, yes. [chuckles] Um...

Is-thuffafluff, uh, is-uffafluff
y-muffafluff... Wait!

She cannot speak Uffafluffuntil
she is standing on one foot,

and twirling around on tippy-toe,
and flapping your arms and hiccuping.

Uh... [stammers]

Is-thuffafluff
y-muffafluff y-muffafluff...

Wait! You forgot to hiccup.

And therefore, Red Fraggle, you
getthe Ordeal of the Glumberglotz.

[all gasping, murmuring]

[gasps] Oh, please. Please.
You can't do that to my friend.

She didn't do anything
wrong. It was all my...

Silence! Do you have any
ideawhat a Fraggle must do

in the Ordeal of
the Glumberglotz?

[stammers] Uh, no.

She must wear...

funny nose glasses!

-[Red cackles]-What?

And furthermore, she
must juggle okra soup.

-Yeah, watch!-[drums beating]

I got whoo-hoo! And okra!

-[whooping]-[Mokey snickers]

-[Red whooping]-[Mokey laughing]

Oh, oh. I'm... I'm very sorry,
but this is so silly. [guffaws]

[Beglerbeg] What did you say?

I... I... Well, I said this is silly.
You... You Fraggles can't be serious.

-You've got to be
kidding me.-[all laughing]

And now, Mokey
Fraggle, you have told us

what you should tell us.

[Red cackles]

We are kidding you.

-Yeah!-You are not.

Yes. The High Holy
Order of Poohbahs...

isn't a serious group.

-No!-It's not?

It's a silly group. And
now, you're a member.

I am? You mean, this
has all been a joke?

[Red] Yes, it's
been a joke! [laughs]

[Mokey stammers] Uh...
- Ta-da!-[gasps] Gobo.

Yeah, lots of us are members,
because we like to remind ourselves

that a Fraggle shouldn'ttake
anything too serious.

That a Fraggle shouldn'ttake
anything too serious.

Mm-hmm.

You mean it didn't matterl
told Red about the invitation?

Of course not. I've been
a member for a week.

-Yeah.-Really?

Yeah. I thought you'd never
tell ushow silly we were.

I thought for sure you'd
breakwhen I did the...

-[blows raspberry]-"You
are unworthy" bit.

-You were the Mind
Reader.-Yes. Yes.

-Yoo-hoo.
[chuckles]-Convincing John.

-Yes, yes. Convinced
you, didn't I?-Yes.

-Yes, you did.-[Gobo]
Tomorrow, we'll tell Boober.

[Doc laughing]

[Sprocket] Huh?

Hello, Sprocket. I'm back
from my initiation ceremony.

-And I am not a
Chipmunk.-[gasps]

Sprocket, I burst out laughingin
the middle of the initiation ceremony.

Well, it was all so
very, very silly.[laughing]

They were very angry at me for laughing.
They said I couldn't become a member.

-[growls]-And they
took away my ears.

[both laughing]

Oh, Sprocket.

You can't take life
too seriously.[laughing]

You can't take life
too seriously.[laughing]

[upbeat music playing]

[scatting]

♪ Dance your cares away ♪

♪ Worry's for another day ♪

♪ Let the music play ♪

♪ Down at Fraggle Rock ♪

♪ Dance your cares away ♪

-♪ Worry's for another
day ♪-[Red] Whoopee!

♪ Let the music play ♪

♪ Down at Fraggle Rock ♪

♪ Down at Fraggle Rock ♪

♪ Down at Fraggle Rock ♪