08x02 - I Didn't Know It Was Blood

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

The hardest part is...

Whether anybody's gonna
believe... a lot of people

don't honestly believe
what happened.

Shawn... he was very much
a master manipulator.

He could convince anybody
of anything

he wanted to convince them of.

I didn't know he had
k*lled anybody.

You know, I had no clue.

But I had helped clean up,
you know, his crime scene.

Just the overall thought of

of helping clean it up was...

That really does
bother me a lot.

♪♪

We were together
almost six years.

I knew something was off.

He wasn't completely normal,
but I never expected...

m*rder.

At times, I do really feel like
I should have known more.

I should have been able
to recognize more.

I know I'm lucky.
I know I got away.

I know I survived, and I know...

I'm lucky to have survived.

Knowing what I know of shawn,

I know, even in hiding,
I'm really not safe.

Shawn needs to be
punished for what he's done,

for everything he's done
to anybody and everybody.

Shawn needs to die.

[ chord strikes ]

[ the paper chase's "what's so
amazing about grace?" plays ]

♪♪

[ static crackling ]

- [ knock at door ]
- [ creaking ]

- [ banging on door ]
- [ creaking ]

[ water dripping ]

- [ banging on door ]
- [ creaking ]

[ chord strikes ]

that is the very first picture
of shawn and I.

It's actually one of the...
One of the better pictures.

Not very many of me and him.

It's in the very beginning,

in the happy part of everything.

The shawn that I actually loved
is still here.

He ha... you know,
he hasn't quite changed into...

Into the shawn I didn't like,

someone I had to get away from.

[ sniffles ]

♪♪

It's a happy time,

but, you know, it's all a lie.

It's the start of almost
six very bad years.

It's almost
the beginning of hell.

When this picture was taken,

you know, I didn't know,

but he had already committed,
you know,

at least the one m*rder.

♪♪

When I first met shawn,

I was in process of divorcing
my husband.

Moving here, me and the kids,

it was a way to change things,

a way to improve
all of our lives.

I moved to ohio April 13th.

I met shawn April 15th,
to be exact, of 2005.

My stepsister introduced us.

As hildreth: So tell me
about yourself.

What should I know
about shawn grate?

Hildreth: Shawn was
very handsome, very quiet,

very laid back...
It was almost captivating.

He just had a way of making
you feel like you were

the only one, that you were
the only person that meant

anything at all to him,

and there was just
something about

that feeling that he would give

that really was...

Intriguing.

♪♪

♪♪

In the first year,
shawn and I were very happy.

But even though I loved shawn,
I really didn't know

much at all about him.

Shawn and I... we would always
take off and just go places,

and nowhere in particular
in general... wherever,

just somewhere, and just
kinda hang out.

And it was quiet, peaceful.

Shawn and I talked a lot,
but to think about it,

we never really actually
talked about anything.

As hildreth:
Why do I still feel like

I don't know anything about you?

In the beginning, it seemed
like his answers were vague.

I asked shawn a lot of times
about his,

you know, his childhood,
his life in general.

Shawn was extremely
closed off with...

No information.

As things progressed,

you know,
during that first year even,

any subject of the family,

he would avoid
any direct... Answer.

Christina, why do you keep

asking me these things? - What?

I never met his mother.
Never met his father.

Brother, sister, anything.

Never really said much other
than, "oh, well, you know,

"mom and I don't get along
very well.

Dad's new wife don't like me."

they were too busy, you know,
was kind of the response.

What? I'm just trying
to make conversation.

I don't want to talk about it.
Let it go. All right?

In the beginning, I just felt
that he hid a lot about

everything... family, life,
everything.

Shawn. Shawn, wait.

But I thought eventually,
he would share

the information in his own way.

I never saw anything saying

that, you know,
shawn was a m*rder*r.

I just think he was really
good at hiding things.

♪♪

♪♪

About probably 3 to 6 months
after this,

his mom suddenly appears.

Somehow, it comes up
in conversation

about how he is,

his moods, his changes.

As hildreth: You said you needed
to tell me something in person?

She kind of rambles off
about when he was younger.

You know, he had issues
and asked for help.

As hildreth:
I'm not sure what you mean.

She didn't go into detail.

She wouldn't elaborate
much further.

[ door creaks shut ]

[ chord strikes ]

[ gasps ]

once she's not at the house,
you know, I tried to get him

to tell me something.

As hildreth: What was
your mom talking about?

He proceeds to tell me,

well, when I was 10,


I was bothered...
Things just weren't right.

I got issues, I got problems
and I asked mom to get me help.

His mom's response was,
"go to church.

You'll feel better."

everything with her

is religious-based.

You know, god can fix
anything and everything.

Go to church. You'll be fine.

That was about the extent
of the conversation,

that and him telling me
he broke his arm

was pretty much all I knew
of his childhood.

If I was to ask shawn
a question, and the answer was

something he really didn't want
me to know or was

something he didn't want to talk
about, he would just overall

avoid it in general.

♪♪

♪♪

Shawn and I were
sitting at the house,

and he starts discussing
past girlfriends.

He discusses traveling down

an older country road.

He has a pregnant girlfriend
in the car.

They kind of end up
in some type of argument.

- As grate: Turn the car around.
- Woman: No!

As grate: Turn it around.

Hildreth: He becomes angry.

Woman: I'm not doing
what you tell me to do.

She was the one driving.

He just reached over,
he grabs the steering wheel,

and they end up out
in the middle of a field.

[ tires squealing ]

you know, he caused her
to wreck the car, she's injured.

He doesn't give any real
extent to detail,

you know, the amount of injury,
but she's injured.

As hildreth: Oh, my god.
She could have been k*lled.

He was letting me know...
They argued,

she disagreed,
and he basically caused her pain

for disagreeing.

That conversation, to me,
was a warning.

You leave, you get hurt.

But to look at shawn and talk
to shawn and so forth,

you didn't see a m*rder*r.

♪♪

There was a lot of marks,
oddball, odd-sized spots.

I would never thought
that there was

any chance that that was
somebody's blood.

Hildreth: Shawn and I dated
a little over a year

before we moved in together.

At one point, I was looking
for a house for me and my kids.

Shawn made himself
a part of this.

At this point in time,

I didn't know what
he was capable of.

Before we moved in,

he'd actually committed m*rder.

♪♪

Shawn was living in
his dad's house by himself.

He, you know, said that he was
remodeling the home,

that his dad was going
to try to sell it,

and his dad gave him
a place to stay

if he would fix the house.

He was redoing floors,
he was painting.

It was almost a complete
remodel inside.

It had been a couple weeks

since I'd been over
at the house.

He had already done
the dining room.

As hildreth: Shawn?
Shawn, are you home?

When I did go back, he was
re-spackling, re-painting.

As hildreth: Shawn, didn't
you hear me calling you?

No... no, sorry.

I was actually
a little confused.

It's like the second time
in two weeks

you're painting the dining room.

As hildreth: Didn't you just
paint this like a week ago?

Shawn was a little off.
He was a little distant.

He never really gave
a direct answer.

Yeah, well, my dad
didn't like it, so...

And he mentioned

he needed to

clean the kitchen floor,
clean the grout,

clean the wall.

As long as you're here,
you might as well help out.

So I helped shawn
clean the grout.

There was a lot of
odd-sized spots

look like rust in the grout.

I would never have thought
that there was any chance

that that was the blood
of anybody.

There was a spot I'd worked on,

and for the most part,
it was gone.

But there was a tiny little
spot over on the edge

that I couldn't get out,
you know,

and he just seemed
a little upset that,

you know, I couldn't
get that off there.

As hildreth:
It's not coming out.

- What is this stuff?
- It doesn't matter.

Just get it out.

Hildreth: He was different.

There was just
something different.

In all reality,

I had helped clean up,
you know, his crime scene.

I had helped clean up the mess,
you know, he made with her.

This would be dana lowrey...

That's, um,

the first girl shawn m*rder*d,

his actual first victim that
anybody actually knows of.

She was like
a magazine salesman,

I guess, something.

He k*lled dana over some
magazine subscription

his mother ordered,

but was never getting
the magazine.

This is the girl that
I cleaned up off

the kitchen floor, basically.

You know, for him to...

For him to do that...

If he can k*ll her
over a magazine,

what's he gonna do
to somebody else?

♪♪

♪♪

At the time, I felt like...

Long-term relationship with
shawn would be a good thing.

I very much loved shawn.

The idea of him not being
around... that was

almost devastating.

One day, shawn calls me,
and he tells me

he has a surprise
at the house for me.

"in the dining room, there's
a box with a ring in it.

That's your engagement ring."

he says that we may never
actually get married,

but we would be engaged forever.

- As hildreth: Is this for me?
- As grate: That's right.

As hildreth: Oh, my god.
Shawn, this is gorgeous.

He proceeds to tell me

the ring has been his mom's.

It was a very large ring.

He tells me, you know,
take the ring, get it sized.

I should be extremely happy,

but at the same time,
I'm actually quite confused.

His mom...
She wasn't a big woman,

so I didn't see her having
fingers that big.

Him and his mom, they don't
have a close relationship.

So to figure out why...

She would give him a ring
that looked like that,

that kind of didn't make sense.

I know for a fact
it wasn't his mom's.

[ hammering noises ]

as hildreth: Shawn?

Hey, what's up?

I want to ask you something.

After I'd had the ring sized,

I'd been wearing the ring,
say, probably six months.

Where'd you get this ring?

I told you,
I got it from my mom.

Tell me the truth.

The questions of where he got it

wouldn't leave me alone,
and I...

Asked about it often.

As hildreth:
Stop lying to me, shawn.

I know this isn't her ring.
Tell me where you got it.

Eventually, shawn breaks down,
proceeds to tell me

the ring came from a burglary

he had committed
when he was younger.

As hildreth: You proposed to me
with a stolen engagement ring?

I was originally very angry.

At that point in time,
I stopped wearing the ring.

It went in a jewelry box.

Find out much later on, the ring

belonged to the first girl
he had k*lled.

I was honestly sickened...
It was a sickening feeling.

♪♪

I think I might have
been going to cook something,

and, in the entire house,

I couldn't find a single knife.

I checked the kitchen drawers,

I checked the cabinets,
shelves, pantry.

Every knife in house was gone.

Where are they?

Shawn came home.

I asked him where all of... all
of our kitchen knives had gone.

As hildreth: Hey,
do you know where

all the kitchen knives are?
- What?

Why would you ask me that?

Shawn became very agitated,

defensive... I didn't
understand why.

As hildreth: It's just strange
that all of them are gone.

- So I'm a liar.
- What? No, I just meant...

It wasn't
supposed to turn into a fight.

You're saying that I'm lying.

No, calm down.

But shawn put his hands on me,

kind of shoved me,
told me to shut up,

and flipped me over the couch.

[ gasps ]
I didn't know what to think...
I was mad.

I wanted to him to leave...
I told him,

you know, if he wanted
to be like that,

then he needed to just go.

Christina, I'm so sorry.

At that point, he'd went
from extremely angry to...

Extremely apologetic.

I mean, it was almost
like a light switch.

I didn't mean to push that hard.

You know, he gave me


under the sun.

He maybe just had a bad day,

and he didn't mean
to push me that hard.

It was an accident.
It's not gonna happen again.

I loved shawn so much,

I had myself, at that point,
convinced it was an accident.

You know, he didn't mean
to shove me that hard.

I never did find knives.

Ended up having to buy new ones.

I believe he threw them away.

They were, like,

a mental reminder to him

of what he had done to her,
the first girl he'd k*lled.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm shawn's prisoner.

I'm stuck there. I can't leave.

I can't go anywhere.
I can't call anybody.

That entire time was
basically a living hell.

As time went on, shawn went from

being a very happy, intriguing,
motivated person

to odd, paranoid,
completely different.

He didn't go anywhere.
He didn't do anything.

He did nothing
but stay at the house.

He just kinda was not

the person he'd been
the whole year before.

♪♪

This one time,
middle of the night,

shawn proceeds to wake me up

and he's kind of disturbed,
maybe even panicked.

[ breathing heavily ]

hildreth:
He hears people outside.

Christina. Christina, wake up.

He said, "there's people
right outside the window."

- christina, wake up.
- As hildreth: What's wrong?

What time is it?

I said, "why do you think
there's somebody out there?"

he says, "well, look up there.
Look up there."

they're right outside.

There's light above
the curtains in the window.

He proceeds to see
shadows in the lights.

It's the shadows
of people walking.

It's the shadows
of people at the window.

They're... you know,
they're just

stalking our bedroom window.

They're trying to see
what I'm doing,

they're... they're listening.

- There's no one outside.
- Sh shh.

I'm a little annoyed,
a little agitated, I said,

"there's nobody out there."

I said, "that's just the wind
blowing the trees."

I think they can hear us.

Hildreth: But he won't go
to sleep, he won't stop.

When shawn's paranoia began,

I figured it was
he sat at the house

and did nothing all day.

I kind of determined it might
have been depression,

but the longer we were
together, the more frequent...

The paranoia became.

What's the real story here?

Was it honestly just
the guilt of what

he'd originally done?

Was it creeping in,
making him, you know,

obsess, wonder,

you know,
they're coming to get him.

They figured it out.

♪♪

♪♪

As shawn gradually got even
more different,

it wasn't just paranoia.

He controlled what we did,
where we went,

who we talked to.

I'd even make plans
with the kids

or a friend, my sister.

Where do you think you're going?

I'm going to work.

Why are you dressed up?

And 15 million reasons would
come up as to why I can't go.

As hildreth: I'm gonna meet up
with emily after.

No, you're not.

Hildreth: If I went,
then after coming home,

there was an argument...
There would be, you know,

him throwing these fits.

As hildreth: I'll see you
when I get home.

Couldn't have people over.
My mom couldn't come over.

My dad couldn't come over.

My sister wasn't allowed there.

He didn't have any real friends.

[ gasps ] oh, my god.

I thought I told you
to come home after work.

As hildreth: What?

If somebody knocked on
the door, he'd answer.

"oh, no, we're busy." whatever.

From now on, you go out

when I say you can go out.

It was a whole new
aspect of shawn.

The only time I was
allowed to leave

the house by myself
was to go to work.

He'd walk me to the car
in the morning,

and he'd be waiting
pretty much when

I got home to walk me
back in the house.

I think shawn let me go to
work basically to pay

the bills, but even with that,
he still wasn't happy.

He wanted me home,
so it kind of became a battle.

Shawn unplugged his clock,

that way I can't... I don't
have the alarm to wake up.

The phone gets turned off.

He takes the battery
out of phone.

There was a morning
he proceeds to

lay on top of me when I'm
trying to get up to go to work.

It was all anything to deter me

from getting out of bed
and going.

You know, he wanted me there

even that 7, 8 hours, whatever
I was supposed to be gone.

♪♪

♪♪

As shawn checked off things
that I was no longer allowed

to do, it became more of
a prison-type thing.

I talked to my mom
about getting out.

As hildreth:
Mom, I need your help.

[ over phone ] oh, honey.

I would ask mom
once or twice a week,

you know, "hey, mom.
Can you help me, mom?

"I... I need to go.

Can you... you know, you need
to get me out of here."

[ over phone ]
this is between you guys.

If you want to leave him,
just leave.

Hildreth: But she wouldn't help.

Mom and I were really not
all that close.

Okay. Bye, mom.

Hildreth:
It was extremely lonely.

I didn't have anybody
to talk to,

I didn't have any friends left.

My kids,
I don't think, at that time,

they realized how unhappy
I really was.

There was nowhere to go.
I was stuck.

I was stuck with shawn.

♪♪

Shawn had a fascination with

taking pictures of me
when I'm hurt.

How bad is he gonna
hurt me this time?

What happens next?

Hildreth: This picture
would probably be...

Probably the second year
we lived together.

It wasn't...

Bad, but it wasn't great.

To look at shawn there, you can
see a difference already.

When I met him, he had
a bright smile, bright eyes.

But, as the time went on,

it was almost like his entire
face would change.

You could just see
a deep darkening

just overall appearance.

He's lost the bright color.

You know, his eyes aren't...

Aren't the bright blue
they were.

They're just kind of there.

It's not the same.

♪♪

♪♪

Shawn's moods became
very unpredictable.

Shawn would become angry
to a point

that it was just
almost unbelievable.

This one time,
I literally had moved

a vase from the living room
to the dining room.

His reaction was like

you had done something
personal to him.

What the hell are you doing?

What? What are you
talking about?

He screamed at me,
told me I was stupid

for moving the vase,

should have stayed there.

This is my house!

And he stomps into the...
To the dining room,

and we had two of the
older-type high-back chairs.

[ speaks indistinctly ]

he proceeds to grab the one,
and he flings it across.

Just because I moved a vase

from here to there, you're gonna
actually throw furniture.

Don't tell me

to calm down.

What's gonna happen now?
Is... you know, is he gonna

come in here, is he going to,
you know, do something?

It was that fear of
what was his next level.

Was it going to become
more violent?

He twists it around to where
everything that's going wrong,

everything he's doing,
all falls back on me.

You know, I did something that
caused him to react like that.

That it wasn't him,
that I started it.

After that, I never knew
what was gonna set him off.

It becomes a mental fear

that... how bad is he gonna
hurt me this time?

What happens next?

Do I leave and risk that,

or do I stay?

♪♪

This is

a picture of

me that shawn took after...

After he decided to...

To actually beat on me.

I don't even remember
why he hit me,

but shawn had a fascination with

taking pictures
of me when I'm hurt

or I was depressed, sad, crying.

If he could take...
Have a way to record

that emotion, the sadness,

the fears,
the bruises and so forth,

shawn would take pictures.

I'm bruised. I'm hurt.

He has to have record.

♪♪

♪♪

[ hammering noises ]

shawn basically would tell me
that he was

the only one that would
put up with me.

He was very much
a master manipulator.

Nobody would want
to deal with me.

Nobody would want
to deal with my kids.

Everything was my fault.
I was stuck with him.

And you do start to believe

that's what you deserve,
that's where you're stuck.

There's nowhere else to go.

In his eyes, and the way

he portrayed it to me,
I needed shawn to survive.

In reality, you know,
he needed me,

but at that point in time,

he had me
convinced I needed him.

♪♪

This would be Halloween
the first year we lived here.

It's shawn and my son, and...

They had... they actually had
a really good time that year.

They were still
good together here,

but it just, like,
almost overnight, changed.

It went from

they were happy together
and they did things together,

to they got on his nerves,
he didn't want 'em around.

♪♪

One day, I come home from work,

and he's got kids packed up
and get them out.

The kids had to go.

Their stuff is packed.
I was extremely angry.

What is the issue?
Why are they being sent off?

They belong here.

[ music building ]

- shawn?
- What?

I don't understand...
What's going on here?

He told me they didn't
need to be there.

They were in the way, causing
trouble, and they needed to go.

What are you talking about?
Go where?

He didn't want anybody there.

He wanted it me and him.

I'm taking them
to your sister's house.

What? Shawn, you can't
just send my children away.

To watch the kids,

you know, pick up
what they'd packed,

and go to my sister's house
to stay...

It was very disturbing.

From now on,

it's gonna be just me and you.

There was no other choice,
really.

If I left shawn,
he would threaten

to hurt me or people I loved.

I stayed with shawn, you know,
to keep everybody safe

from him,
because it became a point

of not really knowing
what he was capable of.

♪♪

I woke up and found out
that shawn had me tied up.

Why am I tied up?

Hildreth:
The paranoia with shawn

grew more... the intensity

got stronger and stronger.

When shawn got
to this point of control,

I didn't feel like
there was anywhere to go.

If I leave, what's gonna happen?

Who's he gonna hurt?

♪♪

I decided one day to clean
the living room blinds.

They were actually really dirty.

Get those down, go wash them.

Probably took me five minutes.

I come back, and shawn has

the living room windows
entirely covered with a blanket.

I asked shawn, "why do we have
the windows covered?"

as hildreth:
Shawn, what are you doing?

What does it look like
I'm doing?

Shawn, you know, he says,
"they can see me.

"they can hear me.

You know, people are gonna
know what I'm doing."

- I don't want them seeing me.
- Who's them?

I would want to know
who "they" are.

When I would ask point blank,

"who are they?"

he always referred to

people walking
up and down the sidewalk.

There was no specific person.

It was always "they."

shawn, there's no one out there.

At first, I thought it was
like a mental issue.

You know, he was maybe seeing
things, hearing things.

Just keep the windows covered.

The next day, I realized
things were getting even worse.

Doors are closed,
they're locked.

The windows were closed
and locked, covered.

[ hammering noises ]

he tells me there's no reason

for me to be looking
out the windows,

that there's nothing
out there that I need to see.

I'm shawn's prisoner...
I'm stuck there.

I can't leave.
I can't go anywhere.

I can't call anybody.

He becomes like a warden.

He tells me what
I can and can't do.

As hildreth: This is
getting out of hand.

Can't be too safe.

I asked him to leave, minimum
two and three times a week.

He wasn't going anywhere.

♪♪

There's a morning
where, in the process

of trying to get up, I can't.

As hildreth: What the hell?

Hildreth:
Not physically possible.

My hands and my feet
are bound together.

[ gasps ]

shawn had me tied up.

As hildreth: Shawn?

Hildreth: He was cold.

As hildreth:
This isn't funny, shawn.

Get these off of me.

Hildreth: The eyes got dark,
the face gets dark,

the smile goes away,

and it's just... Somebody else.

You know, it's shawn,
but it's somebody else.

I've got probably


What possessed him to tie me
up in the middle of the night?

What are his plans?
You know, why am I tied up?

I see shawn,

like... Change.

As hildreth: Shawn,
please, let me go.

Hildreth:
He says it's a sexual thing.

It's, you know,
something he wants to try.

But I developed a fear that

there was more to it.

As hildreth: Just get them
off me, please.

Fine. You don't like it?

You can stay here.

It wasn't a sex act... it was
physical harm, basically.

And I honestly think,
you know, I woke up in time

before he could,
you know, go any farther.

I felt like...

That had I not woke up
or whatever,

that he would have hurt me,
k*lled me... there was more.

♪♪

Things at the house had
actually been quite bad.

He wouldn't do anything.

Dishes weren't done.
House wasn't clean.

Stop telling me how to live
in my own house!

I'm like, you've gotta go.

Either you help me,
or you leave.

Within... it seemed like
just a blink of an eye,

he was literally on top of me.

My hands were over my face,

I... Did this, and then...

He... Breaks my hand.

You know, blacks my eye,
and so forth.

He's literally got me by

the front of my shirt

and the back of my pants,
trying to drag me

into the bathroom.

If he would have got me
in the bathroom,

that's the most sound
protected room in the house.

That would have been very bad.

I don't remember exactly what
I had told him, but he lets go.

He didn't say anything
when he finally quit.

He just kinda was like...

Basically just standing there,
kind of looking at me.

I end up with, you know,
the broken hand, the black eye,

the bruises on my neck,
and I'm like...

You broke my hand...
How am I gonna go to work

and pay the bills now
with a broken hand?

And then it's... he's gonna
take me to the hospital.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

At that moment, I turn,

and I head toward
the door to leave.

I never make it to the door.

Shawn, stop!

Hildreth: He attacked me.

I ended up... a broken hand,

um, black eye,

bruises around my neck.

We end up at the hospital.

A doctor comes in,

and she wants to know what
happened, and she asked me,

was... was I safe at home?

You know, in my mind,
I'm screaming, "no, it's him."

but I knew I couldn't say it.

If I would have said
right then and there

that he was the one
that had done that,

honestly, I don't think
I would have made it

out of the hospital.

As doctor: All right, shawn,
we're gonna have you

step outside while we get
these x-rays taken.

So they wanted to send
shawn out in the hallway.

He steps out in the hallway.

She closes the door,
and I proceed

to tell her, "he... you know,
he did this."

she was like, "we thought so,

"but with him being right there,

we knew you couldn't tell us."

somebody called
the police department.

They made the mistake
of announcing

over the intercom that
the police were there,

and shawn disappeared.

♪♪

♪♪

When I go to leave
the hospital, the police

are like... they recommended,
you know,

not staying at the house,
so on and so forth

or plan to go stay at my mom's
for a few days.

The police are in the process
of looking for shawn.

They go through my house,

they go in, they check out
bedrooms, bathroom.

They don't see him.

Next day, I was gonna go home

and grab a couple
other things I needed,

and then I was going back
to mom's.

I was not, you know,
I wasn't gonna stay at home yet.

When I got to the house,
I honestly did not

expect him there,
due to the fact

that windows are all still
locked and everything,

door's locked,

but things
don't quite look right.

Bathroom door's open,

toilet seat's up,

hammer in the bathroom.

It was just a... an eerie,

you know, somebody's been here.

♪♪

And, at that moment,

I turn, and...

I head toward the door to leave.

I never make it to the door.

It's shawn.

What did you tell them?

Literally turns into an
extremely large, violent fight.

He's once again trying to
drag me to the bathroom.

Please! Shawn!

I honestly thought I would die.

Stop, you're hurting me!

But I manage to headbutt him
in the nose and bloody his nose.

So he let go.

Afterwards, get him
to try to talk to me,

because the calmer I can get
him, the sooner I can get out.

You're gonna regret that.

The conversation turns to,
you know,

how did you get here?
He tells me, "oh,

I come in a bedroom window,"

and he had been
in the attic that night

when the police were
there... he's, like,

you know, if that policeman
would have stepped over,

you know, 10 inches,
he'd have stepped on me.

Then get the knock on the door.

[ knocking noises ]

that's when the police
had finally arrived.

As officer: Christina,
is everything all right?

Shawn tells me,
"if you tell them I'm here,

I will literally bash
your head in with this hammer."

and I kind of

lean out, you know,
just my head around the door.

As officer: Your neighbors
said they heard yelling.

Is everything all right?

I'm terrified... if I tell him
he's there, he's gonna k*ll me.

As officer: Did shawn come back?
Are you okay?

And I don't remember
what I told him,

but it was basically,
"he's not here.

It's just me gathering up
things to leave."

as hildreth: No, he's not here.

They told me, "okay, thanks,"
and they left.

♪♪

♪♪

Trust me, shawn.

It took probably


convince him that, you know,
we could pull this off.

After the police left
the house, I'm thinking

of how to go, you know,
how to get away.

I come up with the plan of
help him out.

As hildreth: Shawn, the cops
will be back eventually.

I told him, the police are in
the process of looking for you,

but you can get away,
I can help you.

I can get you out of here.

How?

You know, I tell shawn, I said,

"I'll meet you
over at the woods,

"I'll drive you to your dad's,
I'll get you out of here.

Wait for me,
and I'll come pick you up."

they'll never even
know you were here.

It's crazy.

It took probably 15,


that we could pull this off.

Trust me, shawn. It'll work.

Okay.

All reality,
I'm not going after shawn.

I'm just leaving.

As shawn's heading across
to go to the woods,

I call the police department.

I told him he'd been there,
he'd been in the house.

He was there, and I explained
a lot of what had happened.

♪♪

He was arrested for
domestic violence charges.

I'm glad they got him.

He was sentenced,
actually, to 120 days.

After everything
shawn put me through,

to hear that he got 120 days

was almost devastating.

I went through almost
six years of hell with shawn.

I...

Kind of felt betrayed.

I know if he's to get away

or they don't keep him,

I know then that I'm in trouble.

♪♪

♪♪

When shawn was in jail,
I had filed a protection order

to have the no contact,
no calls, no letters.

Shawn,

like, immediately violates
protection order.

I start receiving
mail at the house,

and they involved threats of

"once I'm out,
I'm gonna find you.

"you won't like what happens.

Nobody's gonna be happy
with what I do."

as I read the letters that
he's writing to me, I'm...

Terrified.

After 30 days, they wanted to
do a review to release him.

I explained to the judge
that letting shawn out

would be a large mistake.

I had letters from shawn.

He said he was gonna come
back and get me.

The judge decides that he was
going to deny the review,

and shawn would serve
the entire six months.

♪♪

♪♪

After shawn's in jail,

I am in the driveway.

There's neighbors on the other
side of the driveway.

We are discussing

everything that had happened,

and a friend of theirs shows up.

He's kind of listening
to the conversation,

and proceeds to tell me
he was locked up

and actually in the same cell
with shawn.

As hildreth: Oh, my god!

We all kind of
stopped and just kind of

turned and looked to see
what he wanted to say.

As man: Listen,
you need to be careful.

He proceeds to tell me that
while he's locked up with shawn,

that shawn had told him

that he would be back to
get me for the fact that

he's now in jail.

When the neighbor talked about
shawn coming back,

first, it's like immediate fear.

I'm sorry, you guys, I gotta go.

I'm thinking, okay,
I'm stuck living here.

He knows how to get in.

I have to do something.

♪♪

I packed up and left.

I go on a mission to hide.

But knowing what I know
of shawn,

I know, even in hiding,
I'm really not safe.

Shawn would be back.

[ distant sirens wailing ]

hildreth: The neighbor that was
in the same cell with shawn

proceeds to tell me that

shawn's coming back to k*ll me.

- Oh, my god.
- Listen, you need to be careful.

I move.
I change my phone number.

I change my vehicle.

But I'm really not safe.

In my head, it was...

Always the fear,
shawn will be back.

Even with hiding, it would
just take him a little longer.

♪♪

[ phone ringing ]

a couple of years after shawn
has been released from jail,

a girlfriend of mine calls me,
she had just seen shawn.

As hildreth: What? Where is he?

She tells me shawn
wants to know where I live.

He wants my number.

He wants to be able
to contact me.

As hildreth: You didn't tell him
anything, did you?

[ over phone ] of course not.
You know I'd never do that.

Hildreth: She knew
what I'd went through,

so she told him she couldn't
give him the information,

but she would get
his phone number,

and she would give that to me.

He tried to talk her
into getting into his car.

She says that
he opened the trunk,

and there was rope and tape
and just other odd things

in the trunk, the zip ties
and so forth.

As hildreth: Oh, my god.

Hildreth:
And she said it gave her,

like, a creepy feeling,

and she wouldn't get
in the vehicle with him.

[ over phone ] well, keep an eye
out for him, all right?

As hildreth: I will. Thanks.

You know, it wasn't
just upsetting.

It was a very terrifying feeling

to know I'd left him
two years ago,

and he was still
trying to find me.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm at work. I'm on break.

I'm going to my phone.

I have messages on facebook...

Message wants to know if I'm
the christina that dated shawn.

It's a news reporter.

She had things she needed
to discuss with me

concerning him
and what he had just done.

He had just been arrested

for kidnapping.

He's kidnapped a woman,
tied her up,

confined her,
r*ped her for days.

She managed to get
a hold of his phone,

and she called for help.

That's... that's the 911 call
from the girl shawn kidnapped,

and that led...
That led to his arrest.

She'd already suffered
a tremendous deal of abuse

in however many days
he had her...

I think it was two or three.

To... you know, to hear her
and know she's there,

she needed to get out.

There is no doubt,
she would have been next.

Once, um, the help arrived,

and they've got him,

it comes out that he has

dead women in the house.

They had found dead bodies.

Man: Stacey hicks'
body was found

under piles of garbage
in the basement

of the same house
where shawn grate was squatting.

The naked body of
a 29-year-old woman

was found in an upstairs closet.

Griffith's hands and legs were
found tied behind her back.

Hildreth: When I was tied up,

was that what he was
going to attempt?

Would that have ever been me?

Man: Griffith died from
a chokehold, just like

shawn grate demonstrated
when police asked him

to show them how
he strangled griffith.

It would take 3 to 5 minutes

of maintaining a chokehold
to k*ll someone.

Hildreth:
There's these two women.

There's the one he kidnapped...

Had been six years
since I'd seen him,

so then I'm thinking,
how many other people,

how many other women?
Who else has he hurt?

Man: Investigators say suspected
serial k*ller shawn grate

confessed to k*lling five women,

but said he didn't remember
the name of his first victim,

a young woman selling magazines
in marion county.

Learning that
I had helped clean up

you know, his...
His first crime.

It was...

Just like an overall shock.

He k*lled somebody,
and I helped clean it up.

I'm going to jail.

Yeah, I helped clean up
this mess... I'm going to jail.

♪♪

♪♪

Shawn needs to be punished
for what he's done.

Shawn needs to die.

♪♪

And these are pictures of,
you know,

the women shawn actually
admits to murdering.

They didn't do anything to

deserve anything
that happened to them.

You know, they didn't deserve
to be k*lled by shawn.

My own personal opinion...

I honestly believe that there...

I believe there is more.

I don't believe
it stopped at five.

I could have been one of
the women he k*lled.

You know, I could have very
well been in that lineup.

This is a picture of shawn

shortly after
they had arrested him.

In a creepy way, he's almost...

He's almost happy.

It's actually quite disturbing.

Was he happy he got caught?

Was he happy he'd done
what he'd done?

On the day they arrested shawn,

at first, I'm kind of...

Honestly,
I was kind of like, no,

you know, he's...

He's evil,
but he didn't do this.

Then... It didn't take long,

you know, in all honesty,
it was a matter of minutes.

Kind of dawned on me that, yeah,

shawn's evil enough to do that.

When people think evil,
they have a whole

different idea.

He was his own kind of evil.

That picture, that...

That kind of sums up him.

That's shawn being... Shawn.

That's him at being evil.

The little smirk, the...

It's just shawn.

[ sniffles ]

♪♪

Wanted her to relax
and spend time with him.

His intentions with her,

they would have been, you know,

much more severe.

To hear him admit everything...

There is... there's
an awful lot I think about,

and knowing what I went
through with him...

He had me tied up.

If I wouldn't have
woke up and caught him,

I would have been dead.

♪♪

♪♪

That's a picture during
the first trial.

Shawn's entire look has
completely changed.

He's got the vest,

he's got the guards
to make sure nobody comes

to get even with him
for what he's done.

When shawn's trial
and everything happened,

I wasn't involved,

but I was very concerned
with what his sentence is.

I watched tv,

I read everything that come
across facebook.

I would google his name

and see what news article
would come up.

I not only needed but wanted
to know everything.

I needed all the details
I could get.

♪♪

Man: The court, therefore,
finds that a sentence of death

by legal objection shall
be imposed upon mr. Grate

for the aggravated m*rder
of elizabeth griffith

and a sentence of death
by lethal injection shall

be imposed on mr. Grate for
the aggravated m*rder

of stacey j. Hicks,
aka stacey j. Stanley.

[ applause ]

hildreth: Shawn needs to die,

and, to me,

shawn needs to die
the way he k*lled them.

For what he done to me,
for what he's done to,

you know, the women before me,

the women after me, the women
he's k*lled, for everything

he's done to anybody
and everybody.

Shawn needs to die.

♪♪

♪♪

I keep my attic doors locked.

I don't sleep at night,
you know, very rarely.

I have these nightmares
that he's gonna wake me up

and coming from
underneath the bed.

So I no longer have a bed frame.

I sleep on a mattress
and boxspring on the floor.

I didn't even have a closet
in my room.

Scares the hell out of me.

You know, it's been...



and it does...
It still literally

scares me that

I'll wake up one day,
and he's gonna be right there.

Thinking about everything
he's done,

I know I'm honestly lucky
to have got away.

It kind of comes down to

if I tell people what has
happened, what I've lived,

what I've learned,
what I dealt with with him,

I believe that if they can use
that information to get out

and end their pain,

then reliving and remembering
everything I've been through

is... it's a big help.

I think and hope that
people learn

that they can go...
They can get away.

It's...

Definitely not an easy process,
but life can go on.

You can continue,
you can get past it,

and you don't have to stay there
and relive it all the time.