Joel: Just when you thought
we already found
the worst villains
in reality TV history.
woman: Kiss my a*s.
Joel: I'm proud to say...
man: Now!
Get on your knees, now!
Joel:
...we haven't even come close
to scraping the bottom
of the barrel.
This season,
we've got bigger liars...
- Don't call me a liar.
Call me a rat.
Joel:
...bigger sh*t talkers...
Christine: You f*cked me.
You didn't use lube.
- ...and, yes, bigger,
fakier boobs.
- I don't have nobody!
- Huh?
man: They're squirting.
woman: Oh.
Joel: They're here
to out-scheme,
out-annoy...
Plane Jane: I should have
known better than to trust
a low-budget Drake impersonator.
Joel: ...and out-eye-roll
each other
for $200,000 and the title
of America's
Greatest Supervillain.
Ashley: I'm gonna have
to m*rder him.
- You got the wrong
m*therf*cker.
- I like it fast.
f*ck you.
woman: Hello, villains.
♪ Red lines and red flags ♪
♪ Are all you see ♪
♪ But red lights ♪
♪ Are green lights to me ♪
♪ 'Cause bad never ♪
♪ Looked so good ♪
♪ 'Cause bad looks good on me ♪
♪ Cross the line, ♪
♪ Take what's mine ♪
♪ Dancing on top ♪
♪ Feeling fine, fine, fine ♪
♪ 'Cause bad looks good on me ♪
♪ Bad looks so good ♪
[all cheering]
[Tom speaking]
[Tom speaking]
It's come to this.
House of Villains.
Hello?
[laughs]
I'm Tom Sandoval.
I've been on "Vanderpump Rules"
Hello?
And I'm just wondering,
why am I here
at House of Villains?
Like why am I here?
man: There he is,
the most reviled man in America.
- I'm kidding. I know--
I know why I'm here.
Oh, my God.
They went with my BravoCon look.
When you make some bad decisions
in your life like I have,
you know,
this is where you end up.
Nice spread.
I've done a lot
of physical sh*t.
I've done "Traitors."
[inaudible]
- Terrible singer.
- Hmm.
Tom: When I come in,
I'm just gonna be myself,
but I'm ready to play.
I wanna check out
the bedroom situation.
Okay.
That looks like a girl.
We got a big-a*s bathroom.
All right. I got my corner bed.
I am f*cking happy.
[upbeat music playing]
- How do you open
this spaceship?
Oh, my goodness.
My name is Christine Quinn.
You may know me
from "Selling Sunset"
for being the villain
on the show.
When I asked you,
what did you say?
- Don't yell at me, Christine.
- When I asked you
what did you say?
- Okay. Hold on. Hold on.
- When you don't own up
to what you said,
it makes you look like
a crazy person.
They didn't get my jokes
and I think
they were Sensitive Susans.
Hmm.
Not bad.
Right next
to the airport though?
I don't know.
Tom: Hello.
- Hello.
Tom: Hi.
- Oh, my God.
- What's your name?
Christine: I know exactly
who you are. Christine.
Tom: Christine. Tom.
Nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you.
- This is beautiful.
A little bit.
I know about the scandal.
Wait. Are we the first?
- Well, somebody put their stuff
on a bed upstairs.
- I can totally tell
he's wearing like NC40 MAC
and like I f*ck with him.
Now, this is cool.
- So this has three beds in it.
- The rooms are small
but it's a vibe.
Tom: There's gotta be
somebody here.
There's sh*t on somebody's bed.
Christine: Okay.
I'm like looking at the clothes.
I'm like, "Who could this be?"
Right?
Tom: Yeah.
[toilet flushes]
- Oh. Oh, my God. New York.
- Oh, my God.
Tom: What the f*ck?
- Hi!
I'm so excited to be back.
Actually, it kinda feels
like I never left.
[whimsical music playing]
I really do feel like the HVIC,
Head Villain in Charge.
Christine: Wow. How are you?
Tom: Wow. So good to meet you.
- I was like, "I heard someone
in the bathroom."
- This time, sweetie,
it has to be the win.
You're not
Leonardo DiCaprio, right?
- No, I'm, I'm not.
- Or Jackie Chan's
youngest grandson?
- No.
I'm Tom.
- Who are you? You're beautiful.
Plane Jane: Oh, sh*t.
♪ OMG ♪
Your favorite villain's
favorite villain has arrived.
♪ [indistinct] yeah ♪
Plane Jane: Is it a push?
Christine: Wha--oh.
Tiffany: Oh, my--whoa.
- Privyet, everyone.
Hi.
Tiffany [inaudible] b*tch.
Tiffany: Hello.
- Oh, my God.
I'm Plane Jane
and you may know me
from season 16
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."
This is a boring [bleep] dress.
You're wearing rags from
[bleep] kids bedroom, b*tch.
woman: No, baby. But like...
Plane Jane: Yes, you are.
I was quite the strategist
on my season of "Drag Race"
so that I could get ahead
and the b*tches
in this house better beware.
- Alcohol or non-alcohol?
- Yes. Yes, please.
- Alcohol? Okay.
- Yeah, always. I'm Russian.
I love to drink.
Tiffany: Oh, we love that.
Ooh, is Moscow in Russia?
- It is. Yes.
- Bona fide. I knew it.
- Drag queens are here to stay.
And we're here to slay.
And we're also evil,
rotted c**ts.
- I feel like you need
to get your room now.
- You think so?
Christine: Yeah.
- Oh, is that what--
is that what y'all did?
Paul: Damn, girl.
Plane Jane: Oh, I remember her.
Tiffany: Yeah. Oh, gosh.
Plane Jane: She was--
she was the annoying one.
woman: Sorry.
- I feel like I'm walking
into my bedroom.
I am so excited to be summoned
into this villain's lair.
- I'm sorry. I thought this was
"Big Brother" for a second.
[laughs]
You said that I was
a manipulator and a liar.
Those are very
strong accusations
that you are not backing up
right now.
So the manipulator
and liar here is sitting...
woman: I just--okay.
- ...right in front of me.
Am I a little manipulative?
Maybe.
But would you really
be watching this show
if you didn't wanna see somebody
be a little manipulative?
Maybe I should have packed
a little lighter, huh?
- I'm taking this one.
Christine: Oh.
Tiffany: Oh. It's official.
Plane Jane: Oh, my God.
Paul: I had to bring
my trinkets,
a little Victorian
haunted doll,
maybe a fossil,
maybe a tooth, maybe a bone.
These are like my emotional
support haunted objects
and I don't go anywhere
without them.
Tom: I wonder how many guys
and how many girls are in here.
Let me look
at the dolls real quick.
Christine: Let us know,
'cause those steps
are really far.
- Ooh, she's lighting up, girl.
Tom: Oh, hey.
Paul: Hey.
- Oh, there's a man in here.
- Tom.
- Paul.
- Nice to meet you, man.
- Nice to meet you, Tom.
What's up, dude?
- Oh. Oh.
Paul: No way.
Come on. What?
- I don't know
who this man is.
Paul: This is my treasure chest.
Didn't--none of y'all saw it,
but...
- Is that coming upstairs later?
Christine: No.
- Later.
- But he's such
a low-budget Captain Hook,
it's more like Captain Hank.
I only have suitcases.
I don't have a treasure chest.
- All right.
Let's gag some assholes.
What's up, everybody? I'm Tyson.
You may recognize me
from "Survivor,"
four times so far.
It's definitely a goal to eat
and steal as much food
as I can from this tribe.
And I'm gonna keep eating
that food till it's gone.
I've won "Survivor" one time.
I would have liked
to win it more.
Plane Jane:
Listen, I'll take...
Tom: Someone's here.
Tyson: There's a couple
reasons I'm here.
Mostly for money.
I got a family and those
are generally very expensive.
New York's back.
Tom: New York is back.
Tiffany: Hi, Tyson.
Of course, I am.
Tyson: This is the person
I wanna talk to the most.
Tiffany: Oh, my gosh.
Tom: What's up, man?
- Not much.
Tommy, how you doing? Tyson.
Tom: Nice to meet you.
- I loved Tom on "The Traitors."
I just thought
he was a national treasure.
And I wanted Tom to be here.
- I definitely don't want
a girl in my room
just 'cause, you know,
I'm in a relationship.
- Do you want
to room with me?
- Yeah. I would room with you.
A hundred percent.
- Let's do it. Okay. Let's rock.
Sometimes cheating
on your partner
can be really great for you, professionally.
- Whoo! Jackie's here, b*tches.
I'm Jackie Christie
and you know me
from being
on "Basketball Wives."
Where's everybody at up in here?
- Oh, there's somebody there.
- Okay. So, let's--okay.
- Like, hi.
- Oh.
Oh, my God.
Tiffany: I met Jackie
And she's definitely a vet
in the game.
- You better keep your a*s
in that seat, tr*mp.
That's what you better do.
I brought you 20 h* dollars, h*,
and you better take this
mother [bleep] money, b*tch.
I wrangle
all the women together.
I make sure they know
what's going on,
when it's going on,
how it's going on,
and it's my way.
Plane Jane:
We have Tiffany's room.
You know that Tiffany
can be particular
about who shares a room
with her.
woman: New York is putting
her bag on your bed.
- Wait. So she's moving
Camilla's stuff off the bed?
- Well, you know,
I don't give a f*ck.
I go where my vibe is
and my vibe is feeling this,
but I wanna see
what else is available.
- Okay.
- And if this is my bed,
this is my bed.
- Absolutely. Okay.
- And I would love to give
her a hug and let her know.
Tyson: What show
is Jacqueline on?
Tiffany:
She is on "Basketball Wives."
- Is that basic cable
or what is that?
Plane Jane: There is one more
situation that's available.
- Okay. Everything I'm loving...
Plane Jane:
Do you like it, girl?
- ...but I don't know
about the devil
being over my bed.
- The devil--there--the devil.
Jackie: So I'mma go
in there with her,
but if it don't work out,
save me that bed
and we just gonna remove
the devil.
- Okay. Absolutely. Absolutely.
[Ashley chuckles]
I can already hear people
in here.
- Hello?
- Hi.
Christine: Hi.
- Oh, look at this beauty.
Ashley: Hi.
Hello, I'm Ashley
"Millionaire" Mitchell.
I am from "The Challenge."
- You either split the money
or keep the entire
million dollars.
- This guy's belittled me,
put me down, sl*t-shamed me,
and also threatened my life
and my family's life.
I'm keeping the money.
So I can be a villain.
[laughs]
Jackie: I'm looking
at your room and I love it
because I looked at her room
and I love her vibe
but that devil over the bed
ain't for me.
- Okay. So are you okay
with just having a tub?
We only have a tub.
We don't have a shower.
- Oh, now that's a problem.
- Ashley, when was the last time
you were on "The Challenge?"
- I just got home
four weeks ago.
- Oh, my God.
- Are you okay?
- Do you feel good? Forty-one...
- I'm not mentally okay,
but I never have been,
so that's...
Tyson: But spiritually?
Johnny: Let's go, baby.
What's up, y'all?
My name is Johnny.
You guys might know me from
"Love Island USA" season two.
woman: Ooh.
- sh*t.
- The reason I'm known
as a villain is because
of my lover boy/player ways
and I get kind of played
as being selfish,
but, ultimately,
I'm trying to win the money.
Paul: Hello.
Johnny: Yo.
I've been a competitor
my whole life.
Sports all through middle
school, high school, college.
And there's 200 grand
on the line,
so I'm coming here to win.
- Tynus--Tyson. Tynus?
- What's up? Tynus.
Christine: Yeah.
Tynus from Texas.
Ashley: Nervous?
Christine: Oh, my God.
- Oh.
Johnny: Hell, yeah.
Tyson: He got me so flustered.
- Appreciate it. Appreciate it.
- I don't know why. I'm married.
I have kids, everything.
Christine: I've met you before.
Johnny: Wait a minute.
Christine: Yeah.
Johnny: No.
- Yeah. I thought that was you.
I was like, "No way."
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's you, right?
Oh, my God. So funny.
I thought that was you.
I was like,
"What was his name? Jason?"
- So who are we waiting for?
Are we waiting
for one more person?
Tyson: There has to be
one more, no?
[Kate speaking]
Tyson: Oh, wait.
- Oh, that's someone
from that frickin'
boat show "Below Deck."
- Thank you.
My name is Kate Chastain.
And I think people think
I'm a b*tch.
And actually, I am a b*tch.
Proud b*tch.
Cute.
I'm probably best known
for my time on "Below Deck."
Another glass of wine?
woman: A mojito for me.
- [bleep] mojitos.
Only t*rrorists
and [bleep] holes order mojitos.
And most recently,
"The Traitors."
woman 1: Yo, Kate's throwing
the money away.
woman 2: Kate is literally
throwing our money away.
woman 1:
She's throwing them away.
- Yup.
I never like to be too try hard,
so I'm not gonna try
too hard.
If I win, I want it to be like,
"Oh, did I win? Whoops."
Tom: Hello.
all: Hi.
Tom: Hello.
Kate: Hi.
Tiffany: So this is all
of us, then.
- I'm Kate.
Tom: I know Kate because
she's a fellow Bravolebrity.
I've seen her at events
and things and around.
- I've met Sandoval
numerous times.
Vegas, at BravoCon.
He didn't talk to me.
That's fine.
- Hi.
Tyson: Hi, Kate.
- I don't even think
he made eye contact with me.
- How you doing?
Kate: Very well.
Nice to meet you.
What's your name?
- Don't pull your hand out.
Tyson: Oh, come on.
- Okay.
I've been here five minutes,
and I've already offended
New York.
- Wanna choose a bed?
What do you wanna--
what do you wanna do?
Take a tour?
Kate: Has that already happened?
Tyson: It's already happened.
Let's go.
Christine: Oh, the bed
situation, it's [inaudible]
Tyson: We'll show you around.
Plane Jane:
That's your roommate.
- No, she not. Who said that?
Obviously, you've seen
season one and two.
Don't ask me what my name is
when I've been here
for three seasons.
Girl, you know me so well.
- Plane and Christine
are in here.
- I want this room.
- So that would be your bed.
- Okay, great.
- So just throw something
on there,
if you claimed it.
- Perfect.
- So why are you the villain?
- I'm considered
like a player of sorts.
all: Oh.
Jackie: I see that.
- But I really--
I really don't think that I am.
- Surprise, surprise.
Johnny, he is hot.
Who knows,
maybe I'll get drunk
and then I'll hook up
with Johnny
and I'll do that all just
for you guys out there.
Tom, why are you the villain?
- Me?
- We are roommates, by the way.
I hope you don't mind.
I took the middle bed.
- Oh, I'm so glad you did
that [inaudible]
- Oh, wait, so you took my bed.
- There was nothing on it.
- The blue room is the room
that I've selected.
That was kind of my bed already,
and I didn't--
I moved the blanket and stuff,
but I hadn't.
They gotta get gargoyle
down first.
- Okay, okay.
You want me to move?
Listen. It was the--
it was the first bed.
It's no big deal.
- You okay with it, girl?
Kate: Yeah.
- Okay.
- New York,
do you have a roommate?
- I don't have a roommate.
- I'll be your roommate.
- Excuse me?
- I just feel like you probably
picked the best room.
- I don't know
how I feel about Kate.
You got a big mouth.
I kind of like that.
But I like the fact
that she's very outspoken.
- You're gonna love me so much,
you're gonna love--we're gonna
be the best roommates ever.
New York was trying to act
like she didn't want me
to live with her,
but she didn't really
have a choice.
New York and Kate.
I love it.
Johnny:
Where are you sleeping in?
- I think I'm sleeping
with boys.
- Yeah, damn. Come on.
Ashley: I mean, come on.
We're used to sleeping
with a sh*t ton of people
in one room anyway.
Johnny: No, that's perfect.
That's perfect.
- It doesn't matter.
- Damn, Ashley.
- And smaller beds, too.
[tense music playing]
Johnny: Oh, sh*t.
Tom: Wait, did somebody
just walk in?
- Oh. You're lying to me.
You're lying to me.
Drita: Hey-h*.
Plane Jane: Oh, my God.
- Whoa.
- Well, hello.
I gotta introduce myself?
- It's so nice to meet you.
Oh, my God.
Girl, I'm just
a little star-struck.
Drita D'Avanzo,
she is an icon from "Mob Wives."
I'm from "RuPaul's Drag Race."
- Oh, really?
- Yeah. I know
you would have never guessed.
- Well, no.
- Drita was ahead of the curve.
She was beating up Karens
before it was even cool.
Christine: Hi, Christine.
Drita: Hello. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Drita, I'm terrified of.
You don't mess with people
on "Mob Wives."
- She will never forget
my husband,
and it won't be
for [bleep] him up.
It will be from his wife
[bleep] mangling her.
If you don't like
violent people,
you might be like,
she's a villain,
you know what I mean?
- I'm Kate. What's your name?
- Nice to meet you. Drita.
- There are 10 beds,
and now Drita's arrived.
- And what's up with the rooms?
Kate:
We don't have enough beds.
Based on how this house
is decorated,
I feel like maybe production
just wasn't able
to count correctly.
- Bed claimed by some.
Um, okay.
These are, like, claim
these f*cking beds.
I feel like a f*cking--
what am I, in "The Brady Bunch?"
Guess who doesn't have a bed?
What the f*ck?
Are all the beds taken?
I'm not happy about that.
The last thing I wanna do
is act like a guy
that just got in prison,
and I need to f*cking show
everybody what's up.
Hello?
Shut the f*ck up, bro.
What is happening?
Tiffany: Are we going in
or are we going in?
- What are you doing?
You live here?
- I live here.
I've been here multiple times.
- You live here?
- I'm glad to be here
with Drita.
Drita and I, and Safaree.
That's weird.
We did "Scared Famous,"
and we know
how this genre works.
Did you get a room?
- Uh, no, I--
every room has, like,
something on top of it.
- Well, what kind of room
you wanna stay in?
- I'm literally getting treated
like a jerk-off off the rip.
I gotta ask
all these m*therf*ckers
who's staying in this room.
Who's Tom?
- Yo.
Drita: Tom?
Tom: Hi.
- I see you claimed the bed.
Who's next to you?
Tom: Tyson.
- Does--do you know
who's in the, uh, coral room?
Tom: Paul, Johnny, and Ashley.
- Bro, what the f*ck?
- I know.
- There's no bed--
there's no bed for you.
You know how they call people
a firecracker?
Well, Drita's like
a stick of dynamite.
Johnny: There's no bed for you?
Drita: Hey,
who's in charge over here?
There's no bed for me?
Are you f*cking buggin'?
- What?
- There's 10 beds, and I'm...
Johnny: 11 people.
- ...number 11.
- Maybe someone's
going home tonight.
all: Oh.
[upbeat music playing]
Tom: Okay.
Drita: I'm staying downstairs.
There's no extra beds,
so I'm gonna sleep on the couch.
Like, people need this.
- I know.
- Like, could you imagine?
- My daughter is like
a soccer prodigy.
Ashley: Ooh.
Drita: Not a joke. Football.
Johnny: Football.
- Football.
Johnny: Are you Italian?
- No, I'm Albanian.
Johnny: Okay.
Ashley: Oh, okay.
- Do you know any Albanians?
- No.
Kate: Do you think
you spend more time
in California or New York?
Tiffany:
Uh, definitely New York,
just because my guy is there.
- Oh, you got a boyfriend?
Tiffany: Uh, fiance.
- Fiance?
When did you get proposed to?
Tiffany: I slept with him,
and he told me
he would marry me
the same night.
- Wow. Good for you.
- He older than me, so, you know,
I put it on him.
Joel: Villains?
Tiffany: Hey.
- Hi.
Tyson: Hey, Joel.
Joel: Everybody shut up.
It's me, Joel McHale.
And yes,
I'm not only the host
of House of Villains
this season,
I am also the voice
of the house.
- Okay.
Christine: Oh, f*ck.
Joel: Head back to the patio.
I've got a special
housewarming gift for you.
Evil laugh.
sh*t. Wasn't supposed
to read that.
- Love that.
- What's in the box?
Ashley: I bet there's another
competitor in this box
or something
because what the heck
is so big to fit in there?
Drita: Ta, ta, ta,
ta, ta, ta, ta.
Ashley: Hey.
Paul: Oh, it's expanding.
all: Whoa.
Paul: Oh, no.
Christine: This is a lever.
I know it needs to be pulled.
I'm not gonna do it.
- A giant comical lever
and a timer?
You ever watch those cartoons
where they pull something
and an anvil
drops on their head?
That's what I feel
is going to happen.
Jackie: What is the timer?
Ow, my head is k*lling me.
- Girl, the timer's
counting down.
Is it a b*mb?
Tiffany: I feel like
we're losing time.
Paul: Don't pull it yet.
- Yeah, pull it.
Paul: Hold on,
we have nine minutes...
Ashley: Go, pull it, pull it.
Paul: ...to figure out
if we wanna pull it.
Ashley: Do it, do it.
Jackie: I'm scared.
- I've been on so many
of these shows
and anytime there's like
a weird like,
should I do it or not day one?
Do it.
- Yeah, do it, do it, do it!
- YOLO.
Paul: Don't pull it yet.
Ashley: Yeah, pull it.
Tyson: I've been on so many
of these shows,
and any time there's a weird,
should I do it or not day one?
Do it.
- Yeah, do it, do it, do it!
Paul: Oh, God damn it.
God damn it.
Drita: Why did you do it?
Joel: Oh, no.
What have you done?
Release the bees.
Johnny: Are you serious?
Joel: I'm just kidding.
Thank you
for pulling that lever.
- I knew
they were all cowards.
They weren't gonna pull it.
It can be an advantage.
You could become Supervillain.
There are so many
different things.
Worst-case scenario, I go home.
Joel: Head to the front
and line up on the stairs.
You'll know where to stand.
It's where the cameras
are pointing.
Jackie: The front?
Tyson:
Should I have pulled that or no?
Tom: I don't know.
What if it went down to zero?
They would be like, "All right.
Let's get a new cast."
[laughter]
Drita: That scared
the sh*t out of me.
And I thought
a gorilla was coming after us.
Plane Jane: Is Joel coming?
Is Joel on his way?
Tiffany: I hope so.
Plane Jane: Okay.
Tiffany: Oh, I hear something.
- He's riding a...
♪ As long as I'm here ♪
♪ By your side ♪
Plane Jane: Oh, my gosh.
♪ Ten times ♪
♪ As strong together ♪
♪ We're amplified ♪
Jackie: Wow.
Paul: Yeah.
Tiffany: Oh.
[horn honks]
Plane Jane: Joel is cute,
but clearly,
there's some self-care
that we've been neglecting.
I'm not saying that you need
to do what Tom did
and, you know,
become a cyborg,
but let's put on
some moisturizer.
Paul: Is that Bananas?
Tiffany: Yes.
- My ba*ls have been in his back
for about the last hour.
Plane Jane: Ooh.
- I'm going straight to CVS
and getting a Plan B after this.
- Welcome to House of Villains
Season 3, everybody.
all: Whoo.
Joel: That's right.
The show I am contractually
obligated to host is back.
And now we're on Peacock,
which means we have more money.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Woo.
- This is inexplicably
one of the longest running shows
I have ever been involved in.
[laughter]
- You are some of reality TV's
most infamous villains.
And this year,
we have the biggest villain
of them all,
a real estate agent.
Hi, Christine.
- Hi, Joel.
- Also, thanks, Paul,
for reminding everyone
that Hot Topic is still a thing.
Plane Jane: Thank you, Paul.
Tiffany: Wow.
- This is from Hot Topic.
- I know.
[laughter]
- I would be remiss
if I didn't mention
the superstar.
Someone like myself
who has been with the show
since day one, Bruce,
our camera operator, everybody.
Handheld operator right here.
- What's up, Bruce?
Joel: He hurt his knee
two years ago.
Still wears a brace.
Oh, and Tiffany
"New York" Pollard.
Jackie: Yes.
[cheering]
Joel: You've been here
the whole time.
It is wonderful
to have you all here.
So now let's cut the sh*t.
- Ooh.
Joel: The premise of the show
is simple.
You take all the things
that you got in trouble
in the past for, lying,
cheating, talking sh*t,
literally being in the mob,
and use them to claim the title
of America's
Ultimate Supervillain.
Here's how it all works.
You compete
in Battle Royale Challenges
to be the Supervillain
of the Week.
That villain will have
the chance to take
a couple other villains
on a reward
and the power to decide
the three villains
on the Hit List.
The three on the Hit List
will then compete for safety
in a Redemption Challenge.
The two who lose
that challenge
will face banishment
in the house vote.
In the end,
one of you will be crowned
America's Ultimate Supervillain
and will take home $200 million.
- Yes.
Tiffany: Wow.
Jackie: Whoa.
- Oh, $200,000.
$200,000.
- Okay.
Joel: Still pretty good.
- Okay.
Joel:
So that's how the show works,
and we never deviate
from that format,
except for right now.
I'm sure you're wondering
why there are 11 of you
and 10 beds.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Here's why
we are one bed short.
Who pulled the lever
in the backyard?
- Tyson.
- Yes.
- You're banished.
Pack your bags.
Johnny: [inaudible]
Tom: No.
Johnny: No way. No way.
- You're kidding.
- No. No.
- No.
- No. Bullshit.
- Wait.
- Tyson, is this real?
- I don't know.
Joel: No, that's it. That's it.
- What the f*ck?
- Who pulled the lever
in the backyard?
Tyson.
- Yes.
- You're banished.
Pack your bags.
- [inaudible]
Joel: Maybe Johnny Bananas
will give you a ride home.
Tom: No.
Johnny: No way. No way.
- You're kidding.
- No. No.
- No.
- No. Bullshit.
- Wait.
- Tyson, is this real?
- I don't know.
Joel: No. That's it. That's it.
- Okay.
- No way.
- I'm kidding. Yeah,
just kidding. Just kidding.
Tyson, you're [inaudible]
no, no, no.
I'm actually not.
Tyson, you are very brave.
- Thank you. I know.
Joel: You showed no fear.
Touching any kind
of commonly used handle
on the grounds of House
of Villain takes real guts.
So congrats.
You are our first Supervillain.
Wow.
Tyson: Everybody was telling
me how big a ba*ls I have,
and I was, like, finally
being recognized
for my large testicles.
Joel: Tyson, this means
you'll have the power to put
three of your fellow villains
on the Hit List.
But that's not all. Tyson,
as our first Supervillain,
you win a brand new perk.
Ripped off from yet
another reality show.
This...
Johnny: Oh, wow.
Jackie: Wow.
Joel: ...is the key
to the Supervillain suite.
Tiffany: Yay.
Christine: Nice.
Joel: That's right, Tyson.
Don't get hit by this, anybody.
all: Wow.
Tom: Look at that. Nice.
- The suite is now yours
for as long as you remain
in the house.
- Let's go, Tyson.
Jackie: Wow.
Tiffany: Oh, wow.
Joel: Okay, everyone. That's it.
Go inside and don't forget
to start kissing Tyson's a*s,
so he doesn't put you up
for banishment.
I'll see you in the morning
for your first
Battle Royale Challenge.
- That sounds good.
- [inaudible]
Joel: Those of you
who watch the show
know normally
our Battle Royale Challenge
is to determine
the Supervillain.
Well, we already
have one of those.
So tomorrow, you battle
for something else.
- All right.
- Okay.
Johnny: Okay.
- Bananas. Let's get out of here.
- Get out of here.
I thought I finally had a show
with all of the guys.
- Here we go.
- Bye.
- Suck my a*s, villains.
all: Whoo.
Joel: My legs
are the right length.
Could you imagine us in Italy?
- Now that Tyson is Supervillain,
that's great.
But the fact
that he gets his own room,
it's like now he's moving out.
Now I have to pick a roommate.
This is just not good.
I wanted to work with him
for a while.
I want him around for a while.
all: Ooh.
Paul: Damn.
Pay-per-view, pay-per-view,
pay-per-view.
Christine: Oh, sh*t.
- Medusa.
Jackie: Oh, my God.
See, I would let that
be over the bed.
Wow.
Christine: Fancy.
- Everyone's like, whee,
whoa, oh, my God,
whoa, this is so amazing.
Where's the closet, though?
No, it's small as hell.
There's no square footage.
They basically put Tyson
in a "Harry Potter" closet.
What? I'm good.
- You have a door.
Tom: I'm like freaking out
what to do.
I have a girlfriend.
I wanna be respectful.
I don't want the optics of that.
I just think we got
a really good situation here,
and the girls
have so much luggage,
it puts a target on you
because those girls
want that f*cking
extra room, dude.
- Yeah.
- So you could give it
to somebody.
I don't know. That's just me.
- Yeah, I don't hate it.
I like that idea.
- I wouldn't take it.
- Yeah.
Tom: And I got a lot of sh*t.
I think, like, Drita.
- I need a f*cking bed.
- Jackie is, like,
in the middle bed.
- This is so amazing.
Tom: Plane is drag.
Tyson: Yeah.
Tom: So you can talk about
somebody who's gonna be...
- Walk into play.
- I have to be
an Eavesdropping Little Sally.
Tyson: Hey.
- What's the tea?
- Can I give the room
to you?
Tom: Yeah.
- Huh?
- Yeah.
- You have a lot of stuff,
and you also need time
to prep and stuff.
You just take care of me,
and we move forward altogether.
- Gag. Gag, gag, gag.
You wanna give me the room,
little old me?
- Somebody who needs...
- It's like the most...
- ...some privacy and stuff.
- Yeah.
- Say less.
- You like that idea?
- Hold on. Let me think.
Let me think. Let me think. Ooh.
I'll take the room, but I'm not
on the chopping block.
- That's right. You're not.
- Yeah, no.
- Okay. Okay. I'll take it.
- Let's do it.
- I am not known as a gamer.
I'm known as an idiot
reality star.
And Tyson is known
as a gamer.
He has all the power.
But, like, he's doing everything
that I'm telling him to do.
- He can have that idea.
And I can blame it on him
if there's any negativity.
- I feel like I'm, like,
calling the shots right now.
- I need some privacy.
I'm enjoying my new suite.
Bye.
- I put Plane down there,
so there's a bed open...
Jackie: Okay.
Tyson: ...on where she is.
Is that okay?
- I am...
- You cool with that?
- ...game with...
Tyson: Okay.
- ...anything that's happening
as long as I get a bed.
Kate: Sure. Okay.
- Here's the tea, you guys.
Drita: Okay.
Drita: What if what?
Jackie: He wouldn't [inaudible]
- What if he does?
- Does what?
- No. Hell no.
Plane Jane: On one hand,
this solidifies my alliance
with Tyson,
but on the other,
can I really trust him?
- Okay. So tomorrow,
Mr. Nice Guy picks three people.
Christine: Yeah.
- Yeah. So whoever he picks
in those three,
somebody's going home.
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
[upbeat music playing]
- The wheels are turning.
- Like this little people,
you gotta get right to work.
- Exactly.
This game is won by numbers.
And it's better to have
Paul and Ashley
than to be by myself.
We're gonna be in the bed
every night together,
so why not
just keep it in-house?
It would be very nice
if it was like us, Tyson, Tom.
- Does my pants come in
from Urban Outfitters?
- We can get majority.
- Yeah.
- Because it'll just be
that side of the house,
this side of the house.
- Those are sick, dude.
- Christian Loub's.
Ashley:
My plan wasn't to come in
and work with all the boys,
but now that I'm living
with Paul and Johnny,
it might not be a bad thing
to have all the big
strong boys in my alliance.
It's also gonna make it so much
easier at the end to k*ll them.
Oh, wait. We don't k*ll people
on this show. I'm sorry.
Banish them.
- This is end times already
for somebody.
- It's the end times.
[birds chirping]
[upbeat music playing]
- Good morning, champion.
How are you?
- Oh, man, I feel so--
yes, I'm heroic.
I pulled the lever.
This is very difficult.
- Stupid butthead.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.
Jackie: I just wanna know
who the three is
he's gonna have to select.
- Well, I am not kissing his a*s.
Paul: No, no.
- Do you see me?
- You got to understand,
this man is from "Survivor."
He's a strategist.
He's looking at
who's his competition.
- [burps]
- He's looking to see,
who do I get...
- I didn't shower yesterday.
Should I shower today?
- Oh, he's a k*ller.
- This man has tooken poops
upstream.
I mean...
Paul: Upstream?
- I think so.
[bell dings]
- What does that mean?
- Hello?
Joel: Villains,
it's time for your first
Battle Royale Challenge.
Put on professional attire
and meet me in the office.
You're going to work.
- What happened
to the hot girl's voice?
Tiffany: Tyson...
Tyson: Yes.
- ...you are Supervillain,
and I know you're gonna flex
your authority.
And I just felt like you were
just gonna put me up
just to put me up.
- Why would I do that?
- I don't know.
Am I overthinking things?
- I think you're overthinking.
- So I should just kind of relax?
Last year, my biggest enemy
was from "Survivor."
- We don't need to talk anymore.
- No, we will talk, because we...
- Okay.
- ...live in this communal space.
Richard: Yeah.
- And I'm gonna ride you
until you tell me the truth.
- Oh, ride, ride me then.
- Your Prince Albert
couldn't take it,
but I'm still
gonna give it a try.
Now I have Tyson.
He's from "Survivor."
And we don't have enough
of a connection
to where I know that I'm not
gonna end up on the Hit List.
I apologize.
- Who should I put up?
- Ooh, interesting.
So I'm all over the place.
I think you leave the females
alone for now, for sure...
- Yeah.
- ...and just put up the boys.
- Just [inaudible]
I might have to be more
equal opportunity than that.
Tiffany: Oh, okay.
[Tyson laughs]
[upbeat music playing]
- You guys wanna hire me?
Come on.
Looks like I have
a court mandated appearance.
- I wonder if we're gonna have
challenges with teams.
Jackie: We'll see, hopefully.
- I know.
- That's where
I'm gonna struggle,
I think a little bit,
is the athletic part.
[bell dings]
Joel: Your luxury limos await.
Just kidding.
They're rental SUVs
and smell like vape juice.
Head outside.
Kate: Let's go!
Jackie: Let's go.
Tom: First of all,
I feel absolutely f*cking great
about this outfit.
Any time I feel
like I nail a look,
already, like,
makes me feel better.
- I'm supposed to be by myself.
Tom: Oh, you are?
Tyson: Yeah.
- I got some confidence
going into this challenge
and I feel like
it's gonna be one of those
wide variety
sort of challenges,
but I'm excited.
[elevator dings]
[lively music playing]
[upbeat music playing]
- Oh, hi. Look at us.
- I'm way too fun
for this type of environment.
This office
is so dreary and beige.
I would wanna die
if I had to work here.
- Villains,
welcome to Corporate Hell.
But I guess working in any
traditional office setting
would be hell for you
and, of course,
for your coworkers.
Paul:
Job applications scare me.
I don't know what a resume is.
- We are here in an approximation
of an average
American workplace.
Today, we are going to do a
little corporate team building.
Kate: Being good in
a corporate setting
just means being
super passive-aggressive.
I think I would thrive.
- Since the Supervillain
is already safe
and doesn't need to participate,
the rest of you
will split yourselves
into two teams.
[clock ticking]
- I apologize
for making you do math.
That's two teams of five.
You can make those teams now.
Go ahead.
- I need help.
- Should we just do this...
Drita: Yeah.
- ...this side and this side?
We just kind of
split the room in half
and we're gonna see where
this challenge takes us.
We have no idea what to expect.
Joel: Are you happy?
I mean, not, you know,
with your lives,
but with these teams?
- Yes.
- Going home first is worse
than getting your arm cut off.
And I pray these frickin' men
don't ruin it,
because if someone's
gonna ruin it,
it's gonna be a man.
We all know that.
- The name of the challenge
is 7 Deadly Sins.
[intense music playing]
Joel: You know, like,
all those things you've done
to get yourself on this show.
Here's how it works.
You will run a relay race
through several of the rooms
in this office
where each villain
on your team
must complete a task inspired
by one of the 7 Deadly Sins.
You cannot enter
the next office
until your teammate
finishes their task
and hands you
your team's credentials.
Look at the budget we have.
Okay. Here are the tasks.
Greed.
Find and secure a $100 bill
in a sea of one dollar bills.
Gluttony. Eat an entire cake.
Wrath. Crash an office
and destroy electronics
until you find a photo of me,
smash the photo,
and rip it in half.
Envy.
Summon up all your skills
as professional liars
and force yourself to cry
until a single tear
passes a line on your face.
And finally, Pride.
Complete the puzzle
made of shattered mirror shards,
and then, take a selfie with it.
First team to take that selfie
wins the whole thing.
And yes, I know that's only
five of the Deadly Sins.
HR wouldn't allow Lust.
We couldn't afford all that
blurring and bleeping.
[moaning and grunting noises]
- And your Supervillain, Tyson,
will represent Sloth.
You're not doing sh*t today.
Why don't you come over here
and relax.
Speaking of Supervillain,
since we already have one,
today's Battle Royale
isn't for power.
You'll be safe from banishment
this week.
All the members of
the winning team are safe.
That means three of the five
members of the losing team
will be chosen
by this lazy-a*s sh*t
to be on the Hit List.
You have 60 seconds to decide
who on your team is doing what.
- I feel like I got a team
of fierce competitors.
- I'm gonna eat the f*cking cake.
- I mean, the other team
looks okay.
And I know New York's hungry.
- How big is the cake?
I had a gastric sleeve.
- I don't wanna eat
an entire cake.
I don't have a sweet tooth.
I can't cry on cue.
The money thing?
Don't mess up my hair.
So mirrors, puzzles,
yeah, I love it.
- I'll eat cake.
I'll eat a*s. I'll do all of it.
Don't worry, we're good.
- Just the cake.
- I was gonna look
for the hundred dollar bill.
- Want me in the money room?
So just look through--
okay, I'll do that.
Joel: Everyone,
line up by your doors.
Greed, you guys stay here.
- I'm ready to punch in
on this time clock
and get to work.
[intense music playing]
- On the count of three,
come grab these credentials.
Here we go. One, two, three.
Debase yourselves!
Find and secure a $100 bill
in a sea of one dollar bills.
- Got it!
- Tom loves a good strip club,
so of course he's gonna
get the money before me.
- Got it.
Plane Jane: Let me have this.
- But I cannot let the pressure
get to me.
Tom: Eat that sh*t.
- I feel like I can
really tackle gluttony
because I am great
at shoving things
down my throat,
and I love cake.
Tiffany: I had actually see
the $100 bill,
but it has the nerve to fly
all over the place.
Paul: Come on, New York.
[Tiffany groans]
- You're k*lling it.
You're doing great.
You're doing great, Jane.
Paul: Come on, girl.
- Oh, here.
Johnny: Oh.
woman: Go.
man: Go.
Joel: Paul, how are you?
Oh, look at Paul go.
- Eat, baby, eat.
Plane Jane: Okay.
Baby, unhinge at the jaw
and cram that sh*t
down your throat.
- Yes, Paul. Get it down, baby.
It's all in your beard.
It looks real fly.
Joel: Look at that.
- You got it, Paul.
That's your last bite.
That's your last bite.
Tom: You did it!
Don't forget your lanyard!
Tiffany: Oh, sh*t, Paul.
- I just picked two random
pieces of equipment
and I just smashed them
almost instantaneously.
[rock music playing]
Johnny: Oh, let's f*cking go.
Tiffany: Swallow, baby!
- Good job. You did it.
Let's go.
Paul: Go, go, go.
- Get inside, baby.
Get inside. Get inside.
Let's go. Let's go.
- Let's go.
Drita: I miss you so much.
I wish you were with me.
There is one thing
that can bring tears
to my eyes instantly.
I think about you all the time.
But it's something I avoid
because it was an extremely
emotional part in my life.
I miss you so much.
It's my dog's death, Lucky.
[bell tolls]
- I miss you, Lucky.
I wish you were with mommy.
- Oh, my God.
- Are you even looking
through them?
- I miss my dog so much.
[sniffles] So bad.
Joel: You did it.
Drita: Lucky, I'm sorry.
I had to do
what I had to do to win.
Johnny: Let's go, baby,
let's go! She looks sad.
She looks sad, let's go!
Joel: The Purple Team
is on their final sin,
while the red team
has three sins to go.
- Keep going, Jackie,
it's all right, keep going.
- I'm waiting for Jackie
to tap me in
and it's taking
a really long time.
The other team is already
way ahead of us.
I'm like, "Jackie,
what are you doing?"
Jackie: It ain't in here.
Christine: Look in the computer.
Look inside something!
Ashley: Oh, it's a magnet.
Jackie: It's not in here.
Christine: Mother...
[intense music playing]
Jackie: Ain't no picture
of Joel in here.
Christine: m*therf*cker, guys.
Joel: Jackie is still
searching for my photo
in the office equipment,
but she better hurry,
because the Red Team still
has two more sins to go.
Ashley: Oh, it's a magnet.
Joel: The Purple Team
is on their final sin.
I think they're almost done
with the puzzle, guys.
And your Supervillain, Tyson,
still relaxing.
- All my adrenaline's flowing.
I'm sweating, I'm nervous.
I got to find this
picture of Joel,
and I'm not finding it.
It's not in there.
Hey.
Christine: Yes. Yes.
Come on, baby! Come on!
Baby, come on.
Joel: And just like that,
Jackie has advanced
the Red Team
to their next sin.
- If I can do this quickly,
we might have a chance.
I have a lot going on
in my personal life
that makes me wanna cry
like 24/7.
I'm thinking of my divorce,
my son,
my whole life falling apart.
- No, no, no,
different corner.
Johnny: Move that to the center.
- Straight and flat
against the corners.
- Can everyone just shut up
for one second?
I need to get my thoughts
together.
Tom: Yes, so just...
- I have done way harder puzzles.
I've had way better
competitors,
but for some reason,
I'm, like, shaking.
I'm like, these people can't
even read their own contract.
And now they're frickin'
relying on me to solve a puzzle.
- You already know that one,
so put that one up.
It goes in a different corner.
- Okay.
Christine: Like anything.
Am I there?
- m*therf*cker,
the setting spray.
I have this setting spray,
so your makeup's literally
waterproof.
[breathing heavily]
- You're doing good, Christine!
Just cry!
- Nope. Corner, up, up, yup.
That's what I would do. Yes!
Plane Jane: Wow. Good move.
- Underneath, underneath.
- Keep going.
- That one on the bottom
should be on the bottom.
Joel: Still trying
to cry over here.
- Oh, Christine, come on, baby!
- Come on, Christine.
Drita: Come on. Move.
Tom: Come on now!
Drita: They're getting closer.
- Yes! Yes!
Drita: Yes!
Johnny: Good work.
Kate: Mortgage rates!
Mortgage rates!
- Let's go!
Tom: Let's go! Let's go!
- Let's go! Yeah!
- Yeah!
Joel: Looks like
we got a winner.
- Whoo!
- Take a selfie. Take a selfie.
Johnny: Let's go!
- Everyone say, "Sandoval."
Johnny: Yeah!
Joel: It didn't come out.
Plane Jane: It didn't come out.
- First Battle Royale,
we're winning,
and it feels good.
- I'm still crying about
my f*cking dog that died.
[Christine frustrated sighs]
- Maybe if we tell her the game
is over, she'll cry?
- I cannot believe this is real.
- All right, everybody,
come on in.
- Not only did we lose,
but everyone individually
sucked a*s.
- Congrats, Purple Team,
you won the challenge.
Drita: Whoo!
Johnny: Yeah.
- You are safe from being
on this week's Hit List.
Tom:
Well, it didn't take much,
but officially,
I have outlasted Jack's.
Joel: That means New York, Paul,
Jackie, Christine, and Kate,
you are in grave danger.
[suspenseful music playing]
- I'm sorry for yelling.
But seriously,
you are in grave danger.
Your fate is now in the hands
of this lazy slob.
- I know I'm going up.
I'm the one guy-ish
in the group,
so I'm especially
an obvious choice
to somebody who won Survivor.
- Tyson, you are about to go
on your reward outing.
What two villains would you like
to take with you?
- I will take Plane.
- Yay, thank you.
- Who is the second villain
you would like to take with you
on your reward?
- Um, Paul.
Joel: All right.
Tyson, Plane, and Paul,
you'll be heading
to your reward.
Talk strategy, because Tyson,
you need to choose who is
on the Hit List tonight.
All right, guys, it's time
to go back to the house
and do something villainous.
Just make sure you make
some good television.
I need something dynamic
they can use in the promos.
All right, you guys,
get out of here.
I'll see you later
for our first Hit List ceremony, everyone.
Don't strain yourself, Tyson.
[upbeat music playing]
- Ooh, I'm so happy to be back.
- I haven't had a chance
to talk to Tyson,
so I'm not feeling so great.
That m*therf*cking
setting spray,
not saying that's why
I sucked,
but it was a large portion
of the suckage.
Tiffany: Home sweet home.
Christine: Home sweet home.
Tiffany: Yes.
- We're safe, baby.
We're safe.
- Oh, I think I'm just gonna wear
something stupid tonight
since it's the first night
and I won't get any air time.
[upbeat music playing]
- It's the new skates.
- Wow.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- What's up?
woman:
Welcome to Moonlight Rollerway.
Let me guess, size 15?
Biggest we have.
- Do you have anything--
okay, I'll make it work.
- Sorry.
Plane Jane: And we're off.
♪ Oh, oh, I gotta get it up ♪
♪ And get all down ♪
♪ We gotta get it up ♪
♪ And get all down ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
Tyson: Whoa.
- How are you so good at this?
Paul: As soon as I put
these wheels on,
I channeled right back
to like 10-year-old Paul.
♪ I gotta get it up ♪
♪ And get all down ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪
♪ I gotta get it up ♪
- Unfortunately,
I am 31 years old now,
so I hurt my back.
- Did he just eat it?
Paul: I tried to show off.
Tyson: These are harder
than roller blades.
- [screaming]
- Open your legs.
I'll skate through 'em.
- b*tch, I don't open
my legs for no man
unless they're paying me.
- Are we done yet?
- Tonight, he tells us
who's put up.
- Who do you think the three
is gonna be?
- So then, it's us three?
- Right, it's probably not Paul.
- Let me tell you guys
about Paul.
Paul is nice and all that,
but he is not a fool.
Paul is working his a*s off
right now.
[wheels squeaking]
- He didn't come to play.
So he's over there right now
winning favor with this man.
- You want me to fall
in front of you?
- No.
- You're like,
"Get away from me
you f*cking maniac."
- Yeah. Exactly.
- Tyson is very hard to read.
- Yeah.
Drita: I'm really good
at reading people,
and Tyson is throwing me off.
I can't figure him out.
That's why I don't think
anyone's gonna figure out
what's gonna happen tonight.
- I don't like being
in a position like this.
- I knew my team was hopeless
before this started.
But I feel kind of confident
that I won't be nominated.
I mean, I feel safer
than Jackie,
less safe than New York.
- I should just pack my sh*t now.
Tyson:
Hey, how's everybody feeling?
- Sweaty, but cheers
to new experiences.
- Yeah, I'm happy
to be here, dude.
- Yeah.
Plane Jane: Thank you.
What was your thought process
behind choosing us?
- Well, I wanted to bring Paul
to talk to him specifically,
and you seem like
the most related to Paul
in the challenge
with the eating.
- Sure, yeah.
- I think you have to figure out
what's gonna get the least
blood on your hands,
and the only person
we really need to be cool with
and talk to here is you.
There's five people on your team
and three of 'em have to go up.
- Yeah.
- But I think I have
to put you up as a decoy.
If it were a bigger pool
to choose from,
it would be way easier.
- Yeah, of course.
The moment this man picked me
for this prize,
I already could swaft
the bullshit
all the way
from the "Survivor Island."
I knew that this was just like,
you know when your dog's
gonna die,
so you take him
to his favorite spot,
you get him his favorite treats,
and then, you put him down.
Run me through it.
You wanna put me up as like a...
- As a decoy that you can win
your way back in...
- Sure.
- ...and then, it's against
the other two.
I'm figuring
you're the most probable
to win out of that bunch.
It seems...
- Maybe.
- ...you'll probably win,
and if you don't,
you'll have our votes to spend.
- And indeed,
I am the only guy there.
- And you're the only...
- So it's like you can't put--
I understand the optics of you
putting three girls up,
like, it's probably not gonna...
- So I just wanted
to tell you that.
- I'm not involved
in this strategy at all,
but what he's saying
does make sense
because I feel like people
in the house do love you.
- I have to choose three people.
So, I have to put Paul up
because if I put all women
on the Hit List,
all the women in the house
would assume
I am targeting all the women,
which I'm not.
It's not an easy decision.
So, I'm the victim here.
People don't understand
that I'm the victim.
- I was a pawn
on "Big Brother..."
Tyson: Yeah.
- ...a thousand times.
I'm not afraid to do that.
- Right.
- I'm not afraid
to play this game.
I'm not afraid to play any game.
- Yeah.
- But in the event
that I don't save myself,
of course, I'm gonna sweat
a little bit, but...
- For sure.
- ...but I appreciate you
telling me directly.
I was on a show
that is built entirely
upon decoys.
"Paul's a decoy because Paul's
the cool guy or Paul's chill.
Everybody likes Paul.
Paul's chill.
He'll understand."
I don't understand.
- And then, I didn't know
if you had thoughts
on who the two people
next to you would be.
- I think I would leave that
to, like, what you would find,
like, best maybe for your--
because you are, respectfully,
a Supervillain, right?
- And I like everybody,
and it's so early
that nobody's created enemies
with anybody.
- Yeah. Who else is on that team?
New York and...
Tyson: New York and Kate...
- New York and Kate.
Tyson: ...and Jackie
and Christine.
Whichever one of them
comes back in the house
is probably not gonna be
too capable of building
an alliance
that's gonna g*n for us.
Plane Jane: Sure.
Tyson:
That gives us some control.
- I'm just worried about, like,
I don't know where I stand...
- Okay.
Paul: ...with people
in the house.
I'm sure it's great
for your game,
but Tyson, don't pacify me.
I'd rather just take
the stabbing.
I don't need a smile.
I'll try my hardest
to save myself.
[intense music playing]
[upbeat music playing]
- No. I did a TV show on a boat
for six years.
Tiffany: I [inaudible]
just happened, yeah.
- This is the most room
I've ever had.
Tyson: We're home.
Plane Jane:
No one's waiting for us?
Tyson:
Damn, nobody gives a sh*t?
- f*ck.
- You guys want
a espresso martini?
Paul: Oh.
- Sure.
- Yeah?
- I know just what cards
to keep close to my chest
and just what cards to, ooh,
give a little peek of.
So, I'm definitely going
to act f*cking clueless.
Okay, you boys catch up.
I'm gonna go check
on the girls...
- Okay. Check in with them.
Plane Jane: ...because I need--
I need to be with my people.
Too much c*ck.
Tom: How'd it go?
- It went good.
I can only choose three
of five people.
Tom: Yeah.
Ashley: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can a fourth gentleman...
Tyson: What's up?
- ...join this party?
Let's do it.
Ashley: How did it go?
Plane Jane: Oh, honey.
- Oh, my God.
You look so cute.
Jackie: Oh, my gosh.
- Thank you. They...
Jackie: That's adorable.
- They had us roller skating.
Jackie: Yeah, ask your advice.
- I was kind of doing
my own thing,
and the boys were talking.
And then, when I came up,
and I was like,
"Who are you thinking?"
He was like, "I don't know yet."
So, I'm not really sure.
- The plan is put him up
as a decoy.
Hopefully wins his way back in.
Ashley: I hate to have to work
with a bunch of men,
but if I can get in
with all the boys,
and we just keep winning
all the challenges,
then I won't go home.
Can I say something really quick
before people get down here?
- Yeah.
- In my car,
because Drita was on our team
and she was like,
"We already have a group formed,
and I'm gonna have to vote
one of my girls."
- My win was bittersweet
with my crew.
- Yeah, exactly.
But we're your crew right now.
- No, I know.
- We're your crew right now.
- My old school crew
is gonna be f*cking going
toe to toe with each other.
- So I already know
that other side of the house
has a group.
- That could be something
to consider.
- I don't know.
They probably were.
Boys will be boys.
And they will scheme.
You can't trust a m*therf*cker
with a p*nis, honey.
That's why I put mine away.
Tom: I know.
I know you have to put Paul up.
- I know.
- Nothing's worse than
being sweaty and hot
trying to go on television
and think you're glamorous.
Hi, Paul.
- I'm cooked.
- How--what happened?
- Girl, I'm cooked.
And then he said,
"You're a good competitor,
so, like, you have a shot
to save yourself."
And I'm like...
- He said that to you?
- Yes, girl, yes.
Christine: I think
he thinks Paul is a threat
because Paul...
Jackie: He said that he said.
"Oh, I--I'm hoping
they'll understand."
Listen, I didn't pack
seven suitcases
to f*cking come and understand.
- I didn't pack seven suitcases
to come and understand.
[cackles]
[upbeat music playing]
- I feel confident...
- Yeah.
- ...because I'mma see
the outcome in a little while.
- Yeah.
- So that's how I feel.
How do you feel?
- Same.
Joel: Villains, it's time
to prepare yourselves
for your Hit List Ceremony.
- Tyson, I'mma cut the sh*t.
Um, do you know what
you're doing tonight already?
- [exhales deeply]
I don't know exactly.
But hopefully by the time
we get there, I will know.
So...
- Oh, my gosh,
you're such an amazing liar.
I feel like Tyson
is enjoying the power.
Is he putting me up? Probably.
I mean, why wouldn't he?
Because he only has five people
to choose from.
Of course, I'm going on there.
Oh, my gosh.
It's Jennifer Lopez.
Girl, I love you.
- Wow.
- I'm your biggest fan.
- [speaking Spanish]
- Hi, JLo girl.
- Hey, girl. Mwah, mwah.
- I love all your movies,
all your albums.
- Thank you.
It's actually me, Kris Jenner.
Christine: Yeah, literally.
[bell tolls]
Ashley: Uh-oh.
Joel: Villains, hi.
Do you guys ready
for your Hit List?
That's right.
Tyson's gonna judge you
in his awful coat.
- If I am put on the Hit List,
ha, the wrath of Khan
is gonna come up out of me.
[warbles]
[intense music playing]
- Yeah!
- That's crazy.
Kate: This is exciting.
Johnny: Look at this.
- Damn.
Joel: We spent some money.
I have the same top. Great.
- They changed so much!
- I know. Hey, guys.
Hi, hi, hi, hi.
Jackie: This is amazing!
- Did we just step
onto the set of "Spaceballs,"
but like the unauthorized
off-Broadway musical?
- You guys look like the mourners
at Criss Angel's funeral.
[laughter]
- Hello villains,
and welcome
to the new and improved
Stronghold.
This room will be home to all
of our Hit List nominations
and banishment ceremonies.
Tyson, congratulations.
You are the Supervillain
of the week.
Please take your throne.
Tiffany: All right.
Tom: Yeah.
Joel: Yes.
[tense music playing]
Joel: Tyson, the power
is in your hands.
You will choose
the three villains
that will be put
on the Hit List,
which will put them in danger
of being banished.
- High stakes.
- No, you can't banish
the true villains of reality TV.
The editor,
those m*therf*cking
as*h*le shitheads.
m*therf*cking as*h*le
shitheads,
shitheads, shitheads.
- As a reminder,
you can only choose
between the villains
who lost the challenge.
New York, Paul, Jackie,
Christine, Kate,
Robbie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike,
you are totally screwed.
Tyson, be strategic
in who you choose,
because two of these villains
will remain in the competition,
and I'm sure they will not
be happy with you.
It's almost like the game
was designed that way.
- Yeah, it's odd.
- Tyson, who will you be
pissing off first today?
[tense music playing]
- It doesn't say too hard
of an instruction.
- Right now? Right now, now?
Joel: Go ahead. Yes.
[laughter]
- First for the Hit List, Paul.
- Dang.
Joel: All right.
You brought Paul with you
on the reward?
- Yeah.
- You got to take me on
at least two dates
before you f*ck me.
[laughter]
- Noted.
- I am a little bit
of a comp beast.
I did eat that cake
really f*cking fast.
So, now that this wild animal
feels threatened,
I need to secure my spot
because whenever you're
in the hot seat,
you got to create some chaos.
Joel: Tyson,
who is the second villain
you would like to nominate?
- Second is...
[tense music playing]
- Christine.
- What?
- Ooh. My baby.
- Tyson,
why did you nominate Christine?
Tyson: Out of all the people
in the house,
I just didn't feel like
I got to know her
as much as most of the others.
- That's so interesting.
And I actually think
that's a cop-out.
I know you're full of sh*t.
You picked the wrong
f*cking one.
I wouldn't have done that
if I were you.
Baby, you understand?
So, no, no, no,
I'm not done yet.
I'm not done yet.
- Okay.
Christine:
Say what's on your mind.
It's because
I'm the competition to you.
And you know that.
And guess what?
When I--when the whole lever
situation happened,
I wanted a man
to pull that lever.
And guess what?
Now we have the opportunity
to be in the same house
with each other.
And you know what you did?
You went around
and you f*cked me,
you didn't use lube
and you did
the same thing to him.
You're a m*therf*cker,
and no one is gonna put up
with you in the house.
- Big mistake.
- All right. Uh...
- I read him the filth.
- All right, Tyson.
- Yes.
- Who is your final
Hit List nomination?
[intense music playing]
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03x01 - Third Time's the Charm
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Series features 10 of reality television's most infamous villains living together and competing to be the last villain standing to win a cash prize of $200,000 and the title of America's Ultimate Supervillain.
Series features 10 of reality television's most infamous villains living together and competing to be the last villain standing to win a cash prize of $200,000 and the title of America's Ultimate Supervillain.