Uh, it's just not
speaking to me.
The glow needs to be
mysterious, magical,
with maybe just a
hint of whimsy.
Hmm.
Yeah. I don't disagree.
Your thoughts, Jesse?
Uh, sorry. What?
Look, if you wanna get promoted,
you need to start paying
more attention.
I asked you about this ad,
so tell me your thoughts.
Um, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it, uh, looks
great. For a muffler.
Consumers need to know there's
some serious high tech
stuff going down inside
this thing.
Hmm. So, what if we were
to brighten up this yellow
and this cyan a bit?
Make the exhaust
glow really pop.
Come alive. Brilliant.
Done and done. Get this
back to Ginger.
Tell her to make the
exhaust glow...
-Come alive.
-More alive.
Got it.
Hey. Oh, when are you
playing next?
Uh, next Friday. Gold dollar.
Put me on the guest list?
Come on. It's only five bucks!
More alive?
What the f*ck does
that mean?
Whoa.
Almost got you there big fella.
Yeah, you sure did, Dave.
I heard you're playing next
Friday in the D.
I wanna come see you
guys. But my lady,
she hates going downtown
after hours.
You know how the ladies are?
Any who, got any suburb
shows coming up?
I'll just, I'll let you know.
Sounds great. But hey,
try to get on stage a little
early if you can.
My lady's in bed by ten.
No, I know. It was good.
You guys did a good job.
Thank you.
-We can go down to L.A.
-Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
-Cool shirt.
-Really?
Not.
Hey, Greg. Let me, let
me help you with that.
It's OK.
Where are you doing sound?
-Lilli's.
-Nice.
-Give her a hug for me.
-Yeah, we'll see.
It depends what kind
of mood she's in.
Yeah, well just make sure you
keep the stage volume down,
and she'll be happy, trust me.
Yeah, it's, uh--
Oh.
Yeah. It, it, it's all there.
Sorry, it's late.
What the hell? Jesse, this
is like half the rent.
What the f*ck?
Hey, sorry, I'm late.
Got caught up with the Twins.
Yo! Dipshits!
Who, uh, who was that?
New Bull Roar.
Huh.
And, it's incredibly awesome.
Those m*therf*ckers.
Who cares about this crap?
A lot of people do.
You're just pissed
that they're Le Detroit
Hipsters du jour, right?
No, Max. I'm not. I'm pissed
because we are better.
I mean, come on guys. They got
no three-part harmonies.
There's no clever arrangements
here.
It's all stale blues
progressions.
And their drummer is
just kind of, eh.
And did I mention
the lead singer's
stupid mic stand gimmick?
Come on.
Who would sign them?
Honestly.
Hipster Records.
They're flying out to see them
next month
at South by Southwest.
Those m*therf*ckers!
Great job, Cody. Cue the rant.
For three years we have been
busting our a*s in the shitty
garage and, and for what?
See his forehead?
f*cking huge vein popping out?
And these two poseurs
just, just come out
of nowhere, sh*t out an album.
And, and, and these
labels just start
running to them and
lap it up.
He's a passionate guy, I'll
give him that.
And once again, every band
that matters will be
in Austin next month
to get a record deal at
South by, except for us.
South By is what we're
calling it now?
That, that's so f*cking
pretentious.
- Hey. Hey. What do you, what do
you...
Hey, Jess. Hey!
Jess. What the f*ck, man?
Take a chill pill.
There's still a chance
that our new demos could
get in there.
- No. No.
- They're really sweet,
Jesse.
No, no. Max, we won't.
Okay.
Because nobody in
Detroit or Austin
or wherever the f*ck gives
two flying rats
shits about what we're up to.
Okay? We just, we,
we gotta face it.
We're never getting outta here.
The garage?
No, Detroit, you dummy.
Look, I'm, I'm sorry,
Cody, about that.
I'll, I'll, I'll get
you a new one.
Look, if we don't get
a record deal soon,
we're gonna wake up one
day, old as sh*t.
Working soul sucking jobs
that we're shitty at.
Like advertising.
Living in our parents' basements
in Detroit.
Gimme a hug you f*cking idiot.
-Oh my God.
-Alright.
Thanks.
I know you wanna get outta here.
You wanna leave Detroit.
You wanna become a big rock
star. Look, I know.
Yeah. Hell yeah, I do. Okay.
We all want that, right?
Right?!
Yes. You disheveled
idiot. Obviously.
Do you think we'd practice
our nuts off
for four days a week in
this rented sh*t h*le
with your neurotic
a*s if we didn't?
Neurotic? Wow.
That's a new one.
You're welcome.
Hey, come, come here.
Rest your head
on my bosom child. It's
all gonna be okay.
God damn, Cody. You
smell so f*cking bad.
1, 2, 3, 4.
All right. Be careful, please.
Oh, there he is. Speak
of the devil.
Yeah.
Anything for me?
Nah. What, you looking for
something?
No, just, uh,
letter from a lame music
festival in Texas.
No big deal.
How you feeling?
Me? Oh, you know, the usual.
Like a*s?
-Bingo.
-Stop it you two.
Oh, on the plus side.
I haven't fallen in four days,
so I am doing pretty good.
You know, life's good.
Okay. I'm hitting it. Gotta
work in the morning.
All right. Have fun.
sh*t ba*ls, Lynn!
Could you be a little
more careful?
You just going to sit here
and gimme the stink eye,
or are you gonna flip
over my record?
Appreciate your help.
Useless b*stards.
Oh, why God?
"I guess being from Detroit,
there's not much to do
during the shitty winters,
but practice. It's destitute
Esse. On those dark nights,
the only thing that really
matters is music."
Barf.
"The truth is, we're the hardest
working band in town.
No gimmicks. Just straight
up Detroit Garage
Rock and Roll, homie."
No gimmicks?
What a pile of f*cking
horse sh*t.
We don't have
time to tell you all the
bands...
One, two, three, four....
Yeah!
South By loved us!
Woo!
You guys think any label
guys witnessed le rock
onslaught?
You know they did!
You guys were
f*cking dynamite.
Here's a record contract.
Sign here.
That's not true,
That's not true, Thomas.
You know that's not true.
Maybe if you stop wallowing
in your self
pity every once in
a while, you'd
notice that we're...
By leaving me alone in
a f*cking cr*cker box of a house
in a f*cking wheelchair!
What am I supposed to do?
I don't know!
- Someone has to work!
- Then work!
Screw you, Thomas!
No, screw you, Lynn!
f*ck sake, Dave!
- Oh. Is this a bad time?
- Oh.
No, no, no. Not come in. I
was, uh,
-What's up?
-I can come back.
No, come in.
Got that Planet
Muffler revision.
It goes to the printer tomorrow.
It needs to be routed
for sign off.
Yeah, I'm on it.
Um, yeah--
Just sit it over there
please. Yeah, thanks.
Sure. Everything cool?
Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you. This is great.
- Okay.
- Oh!
- Bye.
- Bye.
Oh, my...
Oh!
Dave. I swear to God...
Uh, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm fantastic.
Uh, forgot to mention, uh,
the twins are out sick,
so, Craig needs to sign off.
Really? Craig? Sign off?
Uh, yeah. Sorry. I'll, I'll talk
to you later.
All right? Yeah.
Craig, hey.
-You again. What?
-Uh,
Planet Muffler ad needs
your final sign
off before it goes to print.
Fine. Whatever.
Jesus, who writes this crap?
You did, Craig.
You got something for me to
sign this trash with?
Yep.
as*h*le.
Sorry. Just, just
a quick question.
What?
Do you remember the exact
moment
that you gave up on
being a real writer
and sold out for advertising?
1, 2, 3....
Hey,
how'd you like that wallpaper
I planted on ya?
Wasn't sure when you'd get in,
so, I did it last night when you
left.
Told my lady about it.
She thought it was hilarious.
Oh, snap.
f*ck!
Hello? Mom?
Dad?
Bedroom. Bedroom!
Jesus. What the hell are you
doing on the floor?
I, I, I was trying to
put my socks on
and I, I guess I lost my balance
and boom, I fell.
Uh, I tried to get
up, but no dice.
How long have you been
sitting here?
-Here. Come on.
-Stop.
I'll do this myself.
Well, apparently, you
can't.
Come on.
Did you hear what I said?
Huh?
I asked how long you've
been on the floor?
-Uh, not long. Not long.
-Uh huh.
Why didn't, why didn't
you just call me?
Where's ma?
Dad? Where's mom?
I guess, I guess she left.
Just careful. It's hot as hell.
And, and make sure you don't
eat the peach cobbler sh*t
in the corner.
It mixed with the steak
juice. It's gross.
You think she's, uh, think
she's coming back?
Coming back? No.
f*ck her.
Oh, f*ck her.
Are you serious?
She's the one who takes
care... sh*t,
she takes care of both
of us. You know what?
Let me ask you a question.
Where are your meds?
They're right there
in the cabinet.
No, they're not. They're
in the fridge.
You gotta keep 'em
cold or they go bad.
What about your nurse? What
day does she come by?
Uh, well, uh, Wednesday,
Thursday.
It's Tuesday. Tuesday.
"Congratulations... Your band,
Hot Freaks, is invited to Austin
to play South by Southwest."
Holy sh*t. Did you
know about this?
Ugh, this peach cobbler
stuff tastes like sh*t.
Hey, Jess. Jess, where
you going?
Jess?!
sh*t.
"Jesse Grant..."
"Jesse Grant..."
"Congratulations..."
Oh my God, Jesse. Holy
f*cking sh*t, dude!
Jess. Jess. What's wrong?
Man? This is awesome.
I'm not going, you just,
you can call what's his
face from The Numbers
to fill in for me or whoever.
I...
Dude, what, what, what the hell
are you talking about?
This is your biggest
dream, dude.
We, we, we can't go and do
this without you, man.
Yeah, well, my ma left. Okay.
Like, like, she left, left?
Yeah. Like packed up
all her sh*t left,
Man.
I mean, you, you know
her, she'll,
she'll, she'll come back.
No. No, she won't. She got
an apartment in Ferndale.
She said that she can deal with
all my dad's health issues,
you know, the shots and the
doctor's appointments
and whatever, but just not
his shitty attitude.
And I get it. Like, I, I mean,
the guy is a complete
as*h*le.
Jess. Jess, the guy's also
in a wheelchair.
People in wheelchairs
can't be assholes?
Uh, I, I, I, I guess anyone
can be an as*h*le,
but he's your dad in
a wheelchair, man.
Oh. So, your dad, who's
not in a wheelchair,
is not an as*h*le?
Oh no. He's a huge as*h*le.
Exactly.
Oh, did I mention I got fired
today?
Jesus. Who died?
Alright, cheers everybody
South By here we come.
We're on our way, Seff.
Oh God, why?
Hey, there's J.J., I'm gonna go
congratulate him.
Oh, the f*ck
You are. That f*cking
Cody.
Y'all better be
at South By.
Hey, J.J. Hey.
Hey.
Congrats on South By, man.
I hear, uh, Hipster
Records flying out to sign you
guys.
Oh, thanks, man. Uh, do
I know you, Amigo?
Yeah. I, I'm, I'm Cody, bassist
from Hot Freaks.
Doesn't ring a bell? Uh,
the other guys, they're,
they're over
there. Hey, hey guys. Hey.
Hey. We, we opened
for you guys at the Garden Bowl
just a little while back.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember
you guys. Yeah.
You're the, uh, Cheap Trick
rip-off band, huh?
And you, you fell off the stage
and smashed your guitar to shiz.
Yo lemme know if you
wanna sell that ride
for parts or something, man.
See you later.
What just happened?
Hey.
We are playing
South By at La Zona on the
Saturday night bill.
So, you guys should think
about checking us out,
you know, see how it's done.
Well, this is awkward because
we're actually headlining
that show. So, I guess you'll
be opening for us again?
Bummer, Broski.
Yo, try not
to fall off the stage this time,
yeah? And you...
just take off the top
two strings, man.
It's not like you
use 'em anyway.
f*ck that f*cking f*ck.
Okay. Okay, boys, we are
going to Austin
and we're gonna blow his a*s out
of the water. Okay?
Wait, wait. Who's going to
Austin?
Let's Go.
Oh, f*cking guys,
I tell you what.
Oh, about time.
Oh, look at this beauty.
Nice ride.
What's this piece of sh*t?
Damn. Shut it up.
You're late.
Hey, what do you think?
Pretty cool. Huh?
Where'd you get it?
I'd rather walk.
You remember Tommy
from Thick Pickle?
How can I forget Thick Pickle?
Yeah. Well, they broke up,
so they rented it
to us for cheap.
Yeah.
Jesus. You think it'll
make it to Austin?
Oh, they told me it
would. Plus. Yeah,
They gave me their triple
A card just in case.
Hey, anybody check
the fluids on this sh*t wagon?
Hey, Mr. G.
How's it hanging, man?
Nice to see you.
Yeah, not good. Good to see you
too.
I can't wait to be dropped off
in a nursing home to die.
Shady Acres is an assisted
living facility. Okay?
And you're only gonna
be there for a week,
so you're not gonna die by
the time I get back. Dad.
I should have never had sex with
your mom that Christmas.
Too many white Russians.
Too many.
Hey,
I hear they have some, uh,
pretty nice ice cream socials.
Yeah, some hot blue hairs, too.
-Ice cream and blue hair.
-Yeah.
Is that, uh, supposed to make
me feel better, as*h*le?
We gotta go or we're not gonna
make it.
Be careful.
-Help me get in the van.
-Ah!
Picked the wrong week
to stop drinking.
Are you high? Careful!
All right.
Watch, watch, watch it!
Careful.
-Alright. Hey, hey.
-We're good.
I'm fine, man. I got this.
I'm fine.
Legs in...
Comfy, right?
Save it. You're all
co-conspirators
as far as I'm concerned.
Abandoning, uh, handicapped man.
Y'all should be ashamed.
I said stop, dad.
Oh my God. Oh, Jesus.
Oh.
Really?
On demand. revenge farts?
Such a child.
Now that's good.
That's gold, baby.
You're
paying for the damages on the
van.
Sorry, fellas. Not anymore.
Just take me to the
nursing home.
-Oh sh*t.
-Enjoy the ride.
Oh, sh*t.
Nope.
Hey, what are you doing?
Just keep going, keep going.
Wait, is he coming with us?
No offense. Your dad anger farts.
He's old and cranky.
Smells like f*cking month ba*ls.
- Yeah, I Know.
- Hey, I can hear you.
No, no, Jess, I mean, seriously.
Look at the guy.
There's, there's no room for
him, dude.
I don't care.
Hey, Jess. Hey Jess.
I'm not hearing it. Okay?
Just, just shut up
and try not to be your
usual pain in the a*s.
Okay?
I wanted to say, I just
wanted...
Dad!
I Just
wanted to ask, has anybody
checked the fluids on the
sh*t wagon?
I got a piss. Anybody else?
Hey, I thought we had to
go straight through?
Go in a bottle for piss sake.
Since when have you ever
pissed in a pop bottle?
What? You think this is
my first road trip?
Uh, considering I have
not once been
on a road trip with you ever.
Yeah.
-Yeah. I could whiz.
-Yeah. Man, I gotta pee.
p*ssy's.
Here. Cody, turn off.
Just turn off here.
p*ssy's.
d*ck.
p*ssy's.
d*ck.
Sorry.
Okay, here we go.
Good?
Not really.
Wait, what do you, what are
you doing, Jess?
I'm just, I'm helping
you take a piss.
I, I don't, I don't need your
help. Stop.
Come on dad.
Knock it off. I'm just here--
Jess. I said stop. sh*t.
You know what?
Fine. Do it yourself.
I will.
I'll be fine.
Close the door behind
me.
All right.
Alright, don't worry about
it.
Just, just, just--
What's up?
Do I know you, guy?
Bro!
You listen to, uh, Radiohead?
Yeah, but after screening,
I don't think OK
Computer's gonna make, man,
What are we doing here?
Come on guys. Let's go.
-Slow down a little dude.
-What?
What's the hurry?
What's the rush?
Looks like we're not
the only band
on the road to Austin today.
Oh sh*t, dude. They've gotta
van those m*therf*ckers!
Yeah. Maybe we should go
say hi or something.
-Oh yeah.
-Come on man.
What is with you ladies? What's
with the man crush?
It's another band from Detroit.
Lead singer thinks his d*ck is
bigger than everyone else's.
It's not.
So, like on the d*uche-o-meter,
what are we, what are
we looking at?
Between one and 10,
7,896,021.
So that's over 10,
right?
It's 10. It's 10.
Oh, so like, kind of
a d*uche, huh?
Yeah.
Hey, you, uh, you guys want to
have a little road trip fun?
-Oui.
-Dito.
No, no, no, no.
We gotta get back on the road.
Come on.
We gotta get back
on the road. Just relax.
Have some fun, son. Seriously.
I got an idea.
Trust the old man.
Here's what I'm thinking...
Seff... The door, man.
Always close the door!
All right.
You owe me three bucks.
Let's go! Go, go, go!
Oh, yo, yo, yo. Jesse,
please be careful.
We, we don't wanna mess this up.
It's J.J.'s precious cargo
or whatever.
Oh yeah?
Oops.
Seats aren't too
comfortable here, are they?
-No kidding.
-Or maybe it's
my seat that's not
so comfortable.
You said there weren't
no home like a raft.
After all, you feel mighty free
and easy, and comfortable
on a raft.
Huh?
Oh, sorry.
Uh, Huckleberry Finn.
I've never seen the
Mississippi before.
Always wanted to.
Cool. Yeah, it's, uh, it's
the first for both
of us, I guess.
Did you know that it's
over 2,340 miles long
and it takes one drop
of rain, 90 days
to flow all the way through to
the ocean? It's cool, huh?
Who knew?
This guy. I always
thought it'd be cool to
take a raft down it one day.
You know, like the old timers?
It's on my bucket list.
Didn't know you had
a bucket list.
Yeah, there's a lot of things
you don't know about me, son.
Okay. So, you going to tell me
what else is on this
bucket list or--
Yeah. Nah, I
mean, look, it's just, it's
stupid stuff, you know?
Oh yeah. Stupid stuff.
Like what?
Just stupid stuff. So, you
know, dreams and places.
Come on. What's on
the list?
Okay.
-Just--
-Alright. You wanna know?
I, I, yeah.
I've got it right
here. Keep it with me always.
sh*t. In fact, gimme a second.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to update
some of this stuff,
but, uh. I always thought
it'd be cool to go
to see the Northern Lights,
you know? The Grand Canyon,
Taj Mahal, uh, meet
Meryl Streep.
Uh, I don't, maybe you
shouldn't let, maybe
I shouldn't have let your
mom see that one.
And, um--
I thought, uh, maybe it'd
be nice if I could,
if I could walk again someday,
But, you know, just dreams, son.
You gotta be sh1tting me!
f*cking, Thick Pickle!
Did anybody check the
fluids on this sh*t wagon?
Oh. Okay.
Triple A, to the rescue fellas.
Yeah, I keep telling 'em you
gotta put some fluids
-in the sh*t wagon, right?
-Yeah, I know.
-For you.
-Gracias, amigo.
I'm glad somebody knew
what was going on
with this thing. Would've
taking a lot longer
if we didn't know about the
fluids
that we needed to
top off.
Right?
Now. Oh, you bet.
Want to go ahead and
just run the,
yeah, that one.
-Alright.
-That should work.
Alright. I'll be back in a
minute.
Gracias, Ernesto.
-You saved our a*s.
-Really--
thanks, Mr. G. We, we'll
pay you back.
Uh, how? You boys don't even
have a pot to piss in.
You're gonna have to
establish credit
at some point. You
understand that?
-It was declined.
-I'm sorry?
-Declined.
-Declined.
Uh, give, just give
it another shot.
-I tried it twice.
-Alright. Uh,
you got anything else?
I do. Gimme just a
sec. I'm just, I gotta get
to the... I'm handicapped,
so, excuse me.
Alright.
What the f*ck, dad?
I, I'm sorry. I guess
your mother didn't pay the bill
last month.
Uh, that's $1 Cody.
It's a start, son.
What else we got?
That's all I got.
You have
two? Here's a 20.
Wow. This is $23 guys...
More than you guys have.
Start digging in the van. We
gotta come up with something.
$200 on a cost. Oh, well, sh*t.
Oh my God. I can't
believe it's them!
Bull Roar, right? I love
you guys.
Okay.
You guys are awesome.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Sorry.
No, we actually...
Yes, they are
the best, aren't they?!
Bull Roar.
Let's say it together. Bull
roar.
- Bull Roar!
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Would you, would you girls
like a, a, an autograph?
Could we?
Guys, can we get
an autograph from you?
Oh, how about, uh, a picture?
Anybody have a camera?
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, let's do
this. Okay. Oh, hey.
All right. Okay. Package
deal, right? It's okay.
Jesse, I got this. Thank you.
-Where are you guys going?
-Oh, we're going
to, uh, South by
Southwest right now. You know,
you know.
Oh, what's that?
Oh, just, just a, just a huge
music festival in the,
you know, it's in Austin,
you know.
Austin?
Is that like a state?
Okay, my bad.
Here you go. Everybody's just
say, say "Bull Roar."
Bull Roar!
Got it.
Alright. There you go. That
should work out fine.
-Yeah, that'll be $100 cash.
-Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Alright, you girls have a
wonderful time.
Thank you.
-Kind of wiped it off.
-Thank you. Bye.
Thank you.
Ernesto. How are we?
I got your, uh, your money.
-Cash is king, right?
-Better now.
Bull Roar!
Ladies later.
So, uh, anybody get any numbers?
Nobody? Four young,
healthy, good-looking musicians.
Four?
And, and not one number?
Oh, wow.
That's, guys, that's a,
that's a disgrace.
You charged them a
hundred bucks for a picture
with the wrong band.
So what? You're on the road
again, aren't you?
At least one of you could have
gotten a little yank-a-
jank in the back of the van.
Stop it.
Serious. Like
your game's off boys.
Like, you guys need
some serious work.
You should have at least pulled,
pulled out one of those,
uh, Ross Jeffries lines or two.
-Who's, who's Ross Jeffries?
-Who's Ross Jeffries?
Only the trailblazer of the
subliminal speed seduction game.
What, what is that? The
speed seduction game?
That, that's so creepy, man.
-No, no, tell me more.
-Oh, do not encourage him.
Uh, no. Encourage me. Not creepy
at all. Thank you, Cody.
-It's a skill.
-Uh huh.
And what you do, for example,
you go into a bar
and you're talking, talking
to a young chick.
You're just talking
about whatever.
You're talking outta your a*s
and she says something
and you respond to something
like, "It'd be below me
to question you, darling."
Below me. Below me. BLOW ME?
Oh, Jesus Christ. Mr. G.
-that's f*cking awful.
-f*cking genius.
Sorry. What? That's?
f*cking, f*cking f*cking
genius, man.
That would not work.
That's insane.
Oh, it works. I've tried
it and it, it works.
Oh, it works.
When?
-Huh?
-When have you done that?
Well, uh, details are not
important right now.
I just think you guys need to
go in a whole new direction.
New direction. NUDE
ERECTION?
Yeah.
Know the first, okay,
get it. Phone.
You know what?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
How's it going, huh?
That's it, Cody. You're gonna,
you're gonna go places.
These guys, these young ladies.
I'm going to go in
a new direction.
They call me old, uh,
Thomas the Yank Engine
back in the day.
What the heck is going on here?
Did we hit on the wrong band?
If you tell anyone, I swear
to all that is holy.
I will cut a biatch.
Hey, it's Goose.
I think he's got
an update on the spring tour.
Yo, talk to me, Goose.
Wait, you saw what
on our website?
It's impossible, man. The mic
stands right here in the van.
A hundred bucks?
Ooh!
Yeah, you're right. It's not
here. Some schmuck stole it.
Hot Freaks? You sure
it was them?
Oh, I knew. I recognized
that dork when he was
checking on my Jimmy
while I was pissing
at the Come and Go.
What's his face? The drummer,
Jesse? Yeah.
Uh, do you know him?
You got his number?
Send that to me asap. J.J.
out.
Seff! The door.
You always gotta close
the gosh darn door!
Starting note again. Starting
note again. Okay.
1, 2, 3, 4.
Oh, go for Jesse.
Is this the
turd from Hot Freaks or
whatever you call your stupid
frickin' band name?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is.
Who's this?
This is J.J. from Bull Roar.
Word on the street is you
a-holes are in somehow
possession of my magic mic
stand. True or false?
f*ck. f*ck.
It's J.J. and he knows we have
the mic stand.
Dude. How?
I don't know. I don't,
what should I say?
What should I say?
Go hang some
ba*ls on it and
stick it up your as*h*le, you
jackass.
Shh!
Hey, J.J... Uh,
uh. Yeah, we,
we don't know what you're
talking about, man.
Alright. So that's how it's gonna
be. Eh, Esse? Okay. Okay.
Well, I want you to
listen to me very,
very carefully.
Alright?
If you defile my magic mic
stand in any way
whatsoever. I'll ruin whatever
street cred you
and your pathetic little band
think you might have.
Okay? I'm not sure
if you actually saw the article
in NME
about the Roar, but I can assure
you, I have the ear
of every indie music journalist
in the world.
So don't think that I won't ruin
you c**ts in a heartbeat--
Comprende, Muchacha?!
Muchacho.
f*ck. We are straight up f*cked.
Why do you let that
d*ck wad talk
to you like that, Jess?
Oh, you got another brilliant
idea, dad?
If you're talking about
the mic stand,
that wasn't my idea.
That was all you.
Oh wow.
Oh my God. Can you
shut the f*ck up?
Shut up for two minutes. All you
two do is b*tch. Oh my God.
Mr. G, do you have any
ideas?
Yes. Thank you. I do.
Own it.
Flip it.
No f*cking way.
I took the lead...
Somebody's heart...
Come on, dad. Turn this
sh*t. This is...
What? Jesse, please tell me
that you've heard this song.
I don't know. Uh, yeah,
probably. I guess.
Probably? I guess? What?
Jesse, this is probably
and arguably the best
track of the era.
Listen to it.
Listen to it. Is it coming back
yet? Gotta know this.
No, but, uh, nope. I've never
heard this before.
Uh, you two knuckleheads.
This, this lead trumpet line?
It's iconic. A hook,
a lick, right?
I mean, the pop guys stole
that idea and ran with it.
I mean, the Beatles probably
wouldn't even be the Beatles
if it weren't for this track.
Uh, hell, your band probably
wouldn't even exist.
Oh, that's kind of
an overstatement, don't you
think?
This track-- I, I
used to play in my, uh,
jazz combo in the late
sixties.
Wait, you, you played Mr.
G?
Yeah.
What the hell are
you talking about?
Yeah, I played on that,
that little Ludwig trap kit
in the basement, you know?
Yeah. Yeah.
Did the Detroit
circuit for years.
Baker's. The Rhino. All
the old school joints.
What? You,
you've never told me that
you were a drummer.
I, that seems kind of important,
don't you think?
I also played guitar and bass
and played the radio.
But seriously... I, you
know, these don't,
these don't work
so good anymore.
So, I, I just figured,
there's nothing really
more to say about it.
You know, Jess, you know,
you, you guys,
your band. You're lucky.
You're young and healthy.
You're out there playing
the clubs.
This is like the best
time of your lives.
The best time of our lives, dad?
We, we, we barely can cover
gas at the end of a gig,
let alone play in front
of maybe what?
10 people who are usually
our friends, by the way.
Getting a record deal is,
it's our only way out.
Okay? All this other
bullshit is just,
it's just means to an end.
Means to an end. Is that
what you think?
This all is a means to an end?
A record deal? Is that it?
You got it all wrong, son.
This, this is what
it's all about.
This? This is, this
is what it's all
about? Yes, Max.
Yes.
This, the band. Setting up,
playing shows to people
who wish with everything
they had,
that they were the
ones doing it.
And you boys got it, and you
got nothing but time.
So, enjoy it before you
wake up one day and,
and your arms and legs don't,
don't work so well anymore.
Yeah! They loved us!
Oh.
Sign here.
Bummer, broski.
You gotta make sure
that you don't,
you don't splash. That's it,
Cody.
How do you fit it? Dude?
Keep splashing, man. How do
you--
You guys' spill piss
anywhere. I swear to God.
Where are we?
Uh, we're
in Arkansas still,
but, uh, we should, we should
reach Texas within
the next few hours.
I hope, please.
I'm hungry. Does anyone
gonna stop
for a greasy diner run?
Oh yeah. I'd be down.
Yeah, I could eat.
Stopping to get something to
eat?
I'm driving! Is that
your f*cking piss!
Oh, that is f*cking disgusting!
A 212 number.
New York?
Go for Jesse.
Oh, hi. Good morning.
I'm looking
for someone from the
band Hot Freaks.
Uh, yeah. Yeah. You got 'em.
Uh, this is the drummer, Jesse.
Oh, perfect. My name is Mara,
and I'm a producer for MTV.
I was just reading up on all
that stuff between you
and Bull Roar on their website.
Super funny.
Oh, you, you're with MTV?
What?
And you think it's funny?
Yeah. People are loving
it.
That picture with the mic stand
sticking out like a, a...
-Like a d*ck?
-Hilarious.
J.J. worships that silly thing.
I bet he is freaking
out right about now.
Put it on speaker.
So let me get to it.
I would love to interview
your band
for a reality TV show called
Bands Around Town.
It's where we take
unsigned bands
and we follow them on tour.
Have you seen it?
Yes. Yeah. Yes. We, we all, we
all love it. What do, hey!
Come on.
-Uh, sorry.
-Guys.
-Hold please.
-Guys, I'm, I'm driving.
I'm driving.
Sorry. I, I'm so sorry.
We, uh, hit, we're on the road.
We hit a pothole. I apologize.
So, I'll be in Austin
for South By,
and I would love to interview
the band later today.
- Absolutely. Yes.
- Great.
The crew and I will be
at the Hyatt downtown.
We'll see you around
4:00 PM. Cool?
Uh, yeah. We, we,
we will see you.
- We'll see you there.
- Oh, and,
bring that mic stand with you.
We're gonna need to see
the star of the show.
Okay. Thank you.
What the f*ck is your
problem?
This is huge. This is
MTV!
Calm down, Jess. MTV sucks.
You don't want to have anything
to do with them, son.
How would you possibly know
that?
Everybody knows that.
Besides, they're gonna try
to turn you into a bunch
of corporate wh*res.
Is that where you boys
want to be? A bunch
of groveling hoe bags?
Yes!
I mean, he doesn't give a crap
about what he says or does
or how it might affect
other people.
Is it too late to get him
on a bus back to Detroit?
I don't know, man.
He had a point.
MTV really sucks these
days. You know?
Don't you get it, Max?
He's trying to get
into our heads
and derail this whole
operation so
that he can get me
back to Detroit.
Why would he do that?
Simple.
He's miserable and he wants
everyone to be just
- as miserable as he is.
- Yeah.
Yeah. Or I don't know if you've
even thought about this,
but maybe he's just your dad
and he wants the best for you.
You ever think about that,
-Jess?
-Yeah.
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Just like he wanted the
best for my ma?
Sure made her life miserable.
Now he is dead set on doing
the same exact thing
to me, to us.
But you know what? I'm
not gonna let him.
Great. Guess I'll
see what he's dismantling this
time.
Can you eat that?
One more? One more minute.
Oh yeah. Big smile though.
Okay. Ready?
Ready.
Wait. We gonna do one more time?
Big, big smile, Manny.
- Here we go.
- Like this?
Yeah.
Perfect. I love it!
- Bull Roar!
- Bull Roar!
In Russian.
In Russian.
Bull Roar!
Bull Roar!
This is Jesse.
You take care you.
Hey, I must break you!
I must break you.
Hey, we're doing Rocky.
Yep.
Oh, this one's gold.
That's the one... you
take a look at those.
There's some good ones.
- You okay in there?
- Yep.
We're not doing this
again, son. Fine.
When were you gonna
tell me?
Huh?
Don't play stupid. Just, just
come on. How bad is it?
What are you talking
about, Jesse?
Knock it off. Okay. I saw
you in the stall. Okay.
So, I'm gonna ask you
one more time.
Your a*s, how bad is it?
It's pretty bad.
Why are you doing
this to yourself?
I think you have this sick
desire to punish yourself
and everyone around you over
and over again until something,
someone finally breaks.
You're crazy.
Oh, am I?
What was all that sh*t about
in the van with MTV?
Ah, just uh huh. Come on.
How about the fact that you hid
-my acceptance letter from me?
-I--
Just admit it. Okay.
You were so hell bent on wanting
to derail me and
my music career,
because you want me to be just
as f*cking miserable
as you are. I'm
Sorry. No.
Your music career is sh*t.
You're just a crappy little
drummer from the suburbs
of Detroit who thinks a record
deal is gonna somehow solve
your poor shitty life.
Well, guess what, Jess?
Life is shitty!
So f*cking get used to it.
- I am so done with you.
- What?
What? Hey, what? Jess-- son.
I, I'm sorry. I didn't,
I didn't mean it.
- Jesse, please, Jess.
- Shut up.
I'm sorry.
Just please listen to me.
Being on the road
with you guys is
honestly the first time I've
felt alive in a long time.
I'm really sorry. Okay?
I'll shut up.
I promise. I can be a real
as*h*le. I know that.
C'mon Mr. G.
Yeah. Come over here.
Alright. Drop your drawers.
Huh?
You need to take care of this.
What? Whatcha talking about?
Take care of what? Jess...
Need to clean you up if we
wanna get to Austin
by this afternoon.
Right? Right in here?
Hell no.
That, that, that's not
gonna happen. Just
knock it off. Okay? We've
been peeing in bottles
with our dorks out
because of you. You think
anyone really cares
about seeing your ugly a*s?
Put this stuff all over.
Yeah. Blow this thing up.
This is ugly, boys.
Oh, sh*t.
Yeah. You're telling me.
"Are you guys gonna throw
down at South By?"
"Beat their asses, J.J."
"Hello from London. Can't
wait to see how this ends."
...At a diner.
Flipping a gosh darn pancake
with my mic stand.
This is w*r Goose. Wait, what?
Over 200 comments on the
guest book entry.
Wait, you are saying
that McCartney's solo work is
inferior to Lennon's?
-Yes.
-Did I get that right?
Yes. Cody. That,
that's exactly what
I said. There is,
there's no question about it.
Really? Really? Venus and Mars
inferior to that Plastic
awful, Ono band sh*t.
I mean--
Cody, Cody, Cody, Cody, please.
Shut the f*ck up!
Dude. What? You're
so dumb--
-Cody.
-You're so dumb.
Oh. Oh, I'm dumb. Really? That's
f*cking hilarious Cody
coming from you.
-That's f*cking funny.
-Oh, shut up.
You dimwits do know
that Ringo had the first
hit post Beatles?
Mr. G, what are you
talking about?
We all know Ringo was the
worst Beatle by far.
You watch your g*dd*mn mouth,
Cody.
Thank you, son.
Just speaking
the facts, boys.
And guess who's first
in Austin b*tches?
f*ck you guys.
-Just, just stop right here.
-No, no.
-Trust me.
-We don't have time.
-Trust me.
-No.
I'm going then.
Max do not pull off this road.
Do not.
Right there. Perfect.
Jesse, Jesse, roll
down the window.
No.
Just roll down
the window.
Wait,
God damn it, Jess.
Just humor the guy, please.
Yes. Humor the guy.
You know what? Fine.
Thank you. Well, hello
there,
young lady. How are we?
-Good. How you doing?
-Oh, looking good.
Uh, are you, how they
say, on the clock?
Sure am, darling, what
can I do for you?
Well, uh...
Thanks for the help, Candy.
Welcome, Jess. Have
fun at South By.
Alright.
-Cody?
-Oh.
-Get what you need?
-Yes sir.
No... sweet baby Jesus.
Okay, let's do this. Max,
get Candy uploaded from
the business center.
Post it to that dip sh*t
J.J.'s message board,
and then meet us around back.
Okay?
Did we go too far?
God, I hope so.
You guys are gross.
See you guys.
Now what? They what?
On the message board. What?
In in her, in, in, in her...?
Jesus Christ in a chicken
basket Goose!
They're losing their
frickin' minds.
Those Hot Freaks, Seff. They
just crossed the darn line.
What?! Mara. Mara. Who? Mara.
MTV. Hi.
You must be Hot Freaks.
Hey. Whoa, whoa.
- What's up with the camera?
- What do you mean?
I mean, this is a reality
TV show, right?
Besides, I wouldn't do anything
to embarrass you guys. Trust me.
No, I know, I know. It's just...
You must be Mara.
- That poor, poor thing.
- Yeah.
Hey, a-holes!
Where's My frickin' mic stand?
-Hey, make sure you get this.
-Throw me the mic stand!
Hey. Hey, Jess. Jess up.
That's right.
Come on, please. Hey,
Just let it go.
-Go give it to me.
-It's mine--
f*ck you!
Did you guys see J.J.'s
face when he broke
- that thing?
- Priceless.
I, I don't, I don't
know what was up
with whatever the f*ck
her face was,
but that, that was
clearly a setup.
You guys like, we, we just got
f*cked. That was a setup.
Her name is Mara. Okay.
And, and what are you
talking about?
That was just, it was
all coincidence. Okay. It's
fine.
Coincidence? Jesse, are you
smoking f*cking crack?
That that was f*cking
reality TV.
It wasn't f*cking coincidence.
-Knock it off.
-Set, setup.
Knock it off Max. Okay.
It's not like she's going to
air any of that footage
Anyway. Okay. So just,
just, just relax. God.
Dad?
dad, dad.
-Hey, Cody. Cody, check him out.
-Yeah, he doesn't look good.
He's, ah, he's, he's
burning up. He's...
-He's not waking up.
-No.
We gotta get to a hospital
right now.
Hey, where the f*ck is
the hospital, Max?
Oh, I don't know.
I call the
f*ck... Hang on, dad.
-Hello? Um, yes, I, I have a--
-Where the f*ck am I going?
A passenger in the van.
I, I, I don't know.
Just keep going straight. Wait.
I have a passenger in
the van right now.
Um, he's, um, he passed
out, um--
-God dammit.
-Where?
I'm Jojo D, with MTV News.
Spring is definitely sprung,
which means South
by Southwest is in full
swing in Austin, Texas.
Every year the festival becomes
more and more corporate.
So indie bands work overtime
to make themselves known.
And speaking of indie bands,
Detroit Darlings, Bull Roar
and their charismatic
guitarists and singer, J.J.,
threw down
with rival Detroiters Hot
Freaks this afternoon.
The result? J.J.'s infamous
magic mic stand was broken in
half during the scrum by Hot
Freaks drummer, Jesse Grant.
Mic stand.
Hey, hold up!
Was J.J. able to recover?
Well, we ran into him
at the hipster hotel
and asked him about it.
Can you tell us what
happened today?
What happened, sister?
Let me just show you.
First, they did this...
Then this.
Rest in peace, little
buddy. Amigo.
Chico, Hombre, Chief.
My love.
Yeah. Thank you for
your time.
Yeah.
She told me
that she wouldn't make us look
stupid. I trusted her.
Oh, you, you trusted her.
That, that that producer
from MTV
-that I was telling you?
-Maxime,
calm down dude.
He willingly threw me
and you-- his, his band to
the f*cking wolves!
-Stop.
-as*h*le.
No, I'm, I'm so sick of your
selfish bullshit, Jesse.
You, you just, he had to
be on MTV, didn't you?
You, you just had to be on MTV.
Not to mention you, you, you
dragged your sick dad
who was in the f*cking
hospital now all
the way across the country.
You didn't even ask
him if he was okay
or healthy enough
to make the trip.
-Did you?
-You better watch the
next thing that comes outta
your mouth, Max.
Or what, what, what
are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do to me?
Jesse? Huh? You rail against
these gimmicks
and all these sellouts.
Oh my God. You are the
biggest f*cking gimmick and
sellout of them all!
-f*cking guys.
-Who the f*ck do you think you
are?
Look, Jess.
I'm sorry. I just,
just, just...
f*cking stop.
Jesse Grant?
Yeah. Yes.
Did you wanna go
in the other room to talk?
No. No, it's fine. We're,
uh, yeah, we're a band.
Okay. Your father,
he's very ill.
His bed sores were infected,
which led to sepsis.
Do you, do you know
what that is?
Okay. Is he, I mean, is
he gonna make it or?
He's on a very strong course
of antibiotics and we'll
know more soon.
Okay. I'll, uh,
I'll, I'll call the club.
Cancel the gig.
You, you think he would
want that?
After we've come so far,
after everything we've done?
Your dad would want
us to play this.
On in five.
You guys ready?
-No. Not really.
-Too bad.
You know what to do.
Don't f*ck it up.
Hey aholes!
It's been a heck of a ride,
Chief.
What is happening right now?
I'll tell you what's happening
El Capitan. Guys.
I could give a flying PB and
J about the mic stand.
It's a shtick. It's a prop.
I'll find something else for the
indie crowd to obsess over.
Pretend Seff's my brother
or something.
He is?
- So, are we good or?
- Yeah.
This has been a heck of
a ride, you guys.
Not to mention great publicity.
-Did you see MTV this morning?
-Hold on. Yeah. We, we did.
And it was great publicity
for you guys.
You guys see the line outside
the door tonight?
This place is packed. Ready to
see you jokers... us too.
-Us too.
-Seriously.
-Holy sh*t.
-Sacre Blue.
1, 2, 3, 4!
Hand me that.
Jess.
So I'll have the lawyers
send over the
contracts when you get
back to Detroit.
So glad to have you on board,
man.
Looking forward to it.
So do I.
Muchacho.
Le sigh. Whatever
man. Forget it.
Hello? He's awake?
Thank God. No. Yeah.
He, he, he is always that cranky.
Yeah, we're on our way.
Thank you. Thank you. He's gonna
be okay.
Thank God, man.
Hope I'm not interrupting
anything?
What?
Hot Freaks, right?
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
Great set.
You guys are really, really
good.
-Thanks.
-Thanks.
Thank you.
I, uh, I guess we were working
some things out up
there tonight.
Seems like it. So, what's
next for you guys?
More band fights with Bull Roar
on the way back to Detroit?
No, no, no. We're, we're
done with that stuff,
but what we're really looking
forward to next is a record
deal.
I know a guy that could help you
guys. Have a second to talk?
No, it, it
was before the MTV
crew showed up.
I was chatting up that
cute emo girl
and I, I slipped
her the line. She didn't fall
for it.
Are, are, are you
sure you did it right,
Cody? What? What?
- What'd you say?
- Positive.
I said, and I quote,
"This band is going in
a new direction."
- NUDE ERECTION.
- Oh really?
She really didn't
want anything to do with
you after that?
- Huh?
- Didn't bat eye.
Shocker.
Well, you did it wrong,
Senora Rita.
Ross Jeffries is
genius.
No, do not listen to this guy.
Ross Jeffries is straight
up bullshit.
Wrong again. Genius.
Whatever.
Whoa
What the hell!
One last pit stop. Okay.
Just hold on.
Little warning next time?
Said there weren't no home
like a raft, after all.
You feel mighty free and easy
and comfortable on a raft.
Yeah.
You know, uh, you were right
about music, playing.
MTV-- just about everything.
Well, no, not everything. You,
you Were right about a few
things yourself, Jess.
Guess we both have some
work to do then, huh?
Yeah, guess so.
You know, I hate that, um, the
boys left empty handed.
You know-- Austin?
Yeah. Well, uh,
-We didn't.
-Hmm?
What are you talking
about, Jess?
What?
Whatcha talking
about?
-Oh,
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Hello.
How are ya?
-Great.
-Glad you're back.
Glad to be back. What
happened to, uh, to Craig?
Got caught boning an intern.
The twins wanted you
back immediately.
It's nice to be wanted
for a change.
This has the, uh, presentation?
-Sure does.
-Great.
Uh, tell him not to
skip any slides.
-Good luck.
-Yeah.
And, uh, don't forget to put
me on the guest list.
Come on. It's five
bucks!
Okay, here you go.
Now Creative did a k*ller job
with these new campaign slides,
so make sure you don't
skip any, okay?
I won't. I'm nervous.
These Planet Muffler clients
are a bunch of a-holes.
No, no, no. Don't be. Just,
just let the presentation,
you know, come alive.
-Come alive.
-Yeah.
-Will do.
-Okay. Good luck, man.
Oh!
No! What the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
What the-- Jesse?
Oh my...
Alright.
Alright. You guys ready
to rock Chicago?
Yeah.
Hell yeah. Pedal to the
metal.
What's the rush?
We got nothing but time.
Road trip. Whoa!
Woohoo!
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Band on the Run (2025)
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