Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

02x12 - Vegas Wedding Chapel

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Monster Garage". Aired: June 23, 2002 – June 12, 2006.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


A team of five people with mechanical, fabricating, or modifying expertise was assembled to modify a vehicle into a "monster machine."

02x12 - Vegas Wedding Chapel

Post by bunniefuu »

[car engine roaring]

- [Big Schwag] In the beginning, there were cars,

then cars beget monsters,

then monsters beget ratings,

then Jesse James got religion.

The master fabricator is now a monster administrator.

- We take people's spirit and crush it.

- [Big Schwag] A joyful noise is filling the garage.

Gather your flock and pull up a rock

for the next episode of "Monster Garage."

Praise be the glory is upon us.

[energetic music] - [Narrator] Join us now

as Jesse and his g*ng of maverick mechanics rip, grind,

and burn, transforming ordinary street vehicles

into monster machines in "The Monster Garage."

[thunder rumbling]

[upbeat music]

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

This week's challenge, take a 1994 Chevy Suburban

and transform it into a mobile wedding chapel,

complete with pipe organ.

[organ blares]

The rules, when built,

the monster machine [truck wheels squeal]

must appear to be stuck.

The team can spend [cash machine rings]

no more than 3,000 bucks in cold cash for parts.

[Jesse laughs] Jesse and his crew

have seven days and seven nights.

On the first day, they design,

on the next five, they build,

and on the seventh day, they race.

If successful, each team member takes home

a $3,400 set of Mac tools,

and the clock starts now. [alarm rings]

Day one.

[truck revs] [upbeat music]

The design team arrives at the Monster Garage

to answer their calling.

They must turn this suburban

into the wedding chapel from hell.

[upbeat music]

They have the right hell raiser.

[motorcycle revs]

Jesse James, descendant of the legendary outlaw

who is best known for marrying pieces of raw steel

into clean custom cruisers.

[police siren wails]

- We're gonna make a mobile wedding chapel

slash pipe organ.

You guys are the experts.

I'm just kind of goin' on what I saw on cartoons

and stuff like that. [people laughing]

- Do you want the organ to have to be played

by an organist or do you want it to be playing by itself?

- Played by an organist.

- [Charles] Okay. [haunting organ music]

The art of building real organs is far from dead.

- [Narrator] Charles Keg

is a traditional pipe organ builder from Ohio.

The Keg Organ Company

has built organs for churches, businesses, and homes.

- My company builds pipe organs

for churches, residences, synagogues, public buildings.

That sort of thing.

Typically, it would take us six months

and would cost 250 to $300,000

to build a typical church pipe organ.

The whole concept of a roll around popup wedding chapel

is pretty outrageous.

I'm sure most of my colleagues in the business

would've turned their back and said,

"These people are totally insane,"

which for the record, you are.

- We need an air source.

- A large blower feeding into a common manifold

or air box, valves opening to each pipe

that respond to the keys,

and then the pipes. [sound thuds]

- [Narrator] Steve Hosking is an electrical engineer

from Santa Cruz, California.

He built an organ that is everything but traditional.

It's a mobile fire-belching beast

he calls Satan's Calliope,

which can be seen cruising the scorching desert

at the annual Burning Man Festival.

- It started out life as an electric golf cart.

We tend to get large numbers of police officers arriving

because they think there's a shootout going on.

Jesse wants a total monster.

We're gonna do everything we can to give it to him.

- Now with the pipes that have the flutes cut in them,

can we make those ourselves?

- 'Cause it takes one per note

and there's a lot of notes going by.

- You're going to probably need something

on the order of 30 notes.

- That's not a lot, that's easy.

- [Steve] First you have to decide

what you want the thing to sound like.

- I want it loud.

- [Narrator] Steve hooks a pipe to a ShopVac

to test Jesse's hearing.

[pipe wailing]

- It's not loud enough.

- Do you want everybody in the area to hear it

or do you want it more intimate?

'Cause the calliope is--

- I want everybody in the state.

- Okay, well that's Goliath.

- [Narrator] Donald Barnes is the minister responsible

for uniting Jesse with his wife Janine.

- Is that symbolic? - Yes.

- They used to actually power these things on steam

and the idea was to get it loud.

- Let's do that, with the burner in a tank with water.

Let's make a steam-powered one.

- We need to build a boiler.

- I'm a Navy certified welder.

I can make it watertight.

I just think it'd be cool having all this copper stuff

and a boiler and a burner

and it leaking a little bit from everywhere

[men laughing] and you know,

blowing steam and stuff like that.

- Yeah. - That's gonna make people

want to get married. [bells chime]

I think it's so cool.

We've never done anything steam-powered.

You think the pipe organ would probably fit

in the back here?

These doors should swing open.

The arch should be this way

so the couples can walk right through

and go right out the other side and be married.

That's the assembly line.

- [Narrator] John Fry is an artist for Honda.

He draws up the prenuptial agreement for the build.

- [Jesse] And make this white and like powder coat it white

with some mesh so it looks like lattice work.

- [John] Yeah. - So,

it looks a little chapel-ish.

- Or we can make stained glass or something

like that. - Yeah.

- So, I think we got a good solid plan.

- [Narrator] Here's how their suburban will find religion.

The doors will lay down to form ramps.

The roof will give a rise to a steeple

and open up for the pipes.

The rear doors will park for the keyboard

and a steam spitting boiler

will turn their heavenly organ

into an ear-splitting hell-raiser.

[pipes wailing] [glass crackling]

[upbeat music]

Day two.

The build crew arrives to find their irreverent,

Jesse James, awaiting to reveal their divine plan.

Jim Morrison is an industrial contractor

and builds race cars on the side.

He's from Salem, Ohio.

From Olympia, Washington,

Tonna Carlo is a show car painter and fabricator.

Tony Gentile from Tujunga, California

is a professional fabricator

and builds old school rods.

Ray Kent is a theatrical technical director

with a master's from Yale.

He comes from Aliso Viejo, California.

Steve Hosking, the Calliope King stays for the build.

[upbeat music]

- So, we're gonna make a mobile wedding chapel

with a mobile calliope.

We gotta make the doors go wing down.

We had talked about maybe doing it steam-powered.

Let's make this a steam-powered one.

We've never done anything steam-powered.

I just think it'd be cool.

I just think it'd be cool.

- [Narrator] From the first time

it came up in the design,

Jesse's been stoked about using steam power.

The first time he brings it up in the garage,

the team starts talking about...

- The tractor where I live.

- Oh, at the state fair? - They blew up.

- Yeah. - k*lled a couple of people.

- [Narrator] A tractor?

They're backtracking.

- I still think we should do it.

[camera snapping]

- [Narrator] Turns out before Jesse showed up,

Steve convinced the team that steam power is too dangerous.

Watch out, Jesse.

It's an ambush.

- If the boiler were to blow up,

anybody near it would get k*lled.

It's that simple.

- [Narrator] Sober words of caution

[organ tones] from the multi-pierced

pyromaniac who built this organ flame thrower.

- So basically, you guys are all scared to do it outta steam

'cause some tractor blew up and...

- No. - Or something like that?

- You know, we want it to succeed.

We don't want it to fail.

- So, let's do it easy so it succeeds for sure?

- [Narrator] Jesse pretends not to notice

the knife in his back

[person groans] and asks the team

to keep his dream of steam alive.

- If we could steam power it, that would be cool.

If we do it any other way, we're just...

We're being pussies.

- I don't wanna be called a p*ssy.

- [Narrator] Break out the kitty litter, Jesse.

This team's already left a bad smell in the garage.

Nothing a little torching, welding,

and grinding can't handle.

Team gutless gets their marching orders.

- Start gutting it.

[upbeat music] [steel thuds]

[electricity crackles]

- [Tonna] Okay.

[energetic music] [steel thuds]

- [Narrator] The suburban took its tear out in stride.

- [Jesse] Sun roof. - Yep.

- [Narrator] After 150,000 miles, it's like an old boxer.

You gotta hit it a few times just to wake it up.

[upbeat music]

- [Jesse] Nice.

- Oh, I should probably get going

on cutting up the organ parts.

[mysterious organ music]

- [Narrator] Tony helped Steve bring in

a long piece of copper pipe.

[upbeat music] [saw whirs]

- Number one.

This is the big one.

It all gets smaller from here.

- [Narrator] Steve quickly turns one into many.

[pipes clacking]

A new set of pipes for Steve's safe and steamless organ.

- [Steve] This is the manifold pipe

that the whole organ's gonna be fed from.

- [Narrator] This thick walled aluminum manifold pipe

will serve as the monster organ's lung.

The manifold is filled with pressurized air.

When a note is pressed on the organ's keyboard,

a valve opens at the base of the pipe,

sending a blast of air up and out of the pipe.

A note is born. [organ tone]

Meanwhile, the plotting thickens.

Steve reassures Jim, no steam.

- We are gonna go with nitrogen

like we talked about earlier this morning

as opposed to-- - Shh.

We're gonna go with the nitrogen.

Nitrogen good, no boom.

Just music.

Shh, don't tell Jesse.

- [Narrator] It seems Steve thinks it's a big joke.

[Steve laughing]

It's okay to lie and cheat.

Okay, Steve.

We won't tell Jesse.

The first big challenge for the team,

modifying the rear passenger doors

to fold down into entry ramps for their chapel of love.

The doors will in effect become reverse gull wings.

Tonna wants to bracket them.

- There is your clearance,

and as it pulls up, it does this.

No matter what, it will bring that door up into position.

So, it'd be doing this

all the way down. - Paper schmaper,

but only steel makes it real.

[aggressive music] Tonna carves her brackets

out of three eighth inch steel plate.

[steel clanks]

- [Tony] Lay the hinge up there.

- [Narrator] A beefy piano hinge gets welded

on the bottom of the door to make it fold down.

- They go up and down, no problem.

[machinery hissing]

When I was about 12 years old,

my dad taught me how to pound out a dent

on a truck he was gonna give me

and I just fell in love with it.

I thought it was the coolest thing in the world,

but I decided to step it up a level

and become a professional.

This is a 1950 Mercury, got the Frenching headlights.

We did a chop top on this, got all the skirts fit.

It's all nostalgic.

Trying to get my name out there

and hopefully have a name like Jesse James one day.

- [Narrator] Tony brings in one of three electric actuators

the team will use to operate the side doors and the roof.

- Accele linear actuators. [cash register dings]

[engine roaring]

[upbeat music]

- [Narrator] The ram and bracket are in

and the reworked door is ready to test.

- Okay, that's bad.

Gears are slipping.

No, no, we got a little problem.

We got a little problem.

If we keep messing with that

and making that [indistinct] gear inside of there slip,

we're just gonna destroy it. - Yeah.

- And we definitely don't have budget for another pump.

- [Narrator] It ain't happening.

The door is too heavy, the ram is too short,

and the bracket is too whatever.

The team takes this minor setback as their cue.

They're through and so is day two.

Day three. [aggressive music]

A new day, same team minus one.

After his steamless crew stole Jesse's fire,

Steve goes to West Coast Choppers

to borrow one of his tools, a precision lathe.

The manifold in the organ pipes need threaded holes

to connect to each other.

[upbeat music] [drill buzzes]

The rest of the co-conspirators get back to work

on the door ramps.

Yesterday's failure has the team back at the drawing board,

but they're still drawing blanks and wasting time.

Finally, Ray, the Yale graduate,

drops some science on the problem.

- It takes more catenary force

for that to get to a point past 90 degrees,

which is when it's gonna move the easiest.

[upbeat music]

I'm the technical director for the Laguna Playhouse

in Laguna Beach, California.

I went to the best school in the world

for technical theater, Yale School of Drama.

I'm an artist.

I like putting my hands on things.

Set designers throw some weird stuff at you sometimes.

You're always sort of asked to do the unusual

in a short amount of time with no money,

so Monster Garage is right up my alley.

- [Narrator] With a math text in hand,

Ray calculates the force required to pull up the door

from beyond the 90 degree point where it lands.

- In order to pull this up,

we need 221 pounds of force to overcome gravity.

- [Narrator] He then figures out the best angle

for the ram to pull up the door

and designs a new bracket system accordingly.

- But we know physically, it'll work.

- [Tony] Can't argue with math.

[machinery buzzing]

Okay guys.

- [Narrator] It's time to test Ray's high tech hinge.

[upbeat music]

- [Ray] It's doing it on its own.

Go baby.

Go, go baby. - A little more.

- [Ray] You're gonna have it.

- Yep. - A little more.

It's in.

Do it.

- [Ray] Right on, guys. - Do it.

- Good job.

[people cheering]

- [Tonna] Oh, bless your heart.

- That's why I went

to grad school. - Bless your heart.

- Valves.

- [Narrator] Steve returns from a full day

at West Coast Choppers with another freebie.

- Parker's Solenoid valves from EAI.

Good stuff.

- [Voiceover] Freebie, freebie, freebie,

zip, zero, nada.

- [Narrator] Like a cold-blooded assassin,

Steve delivers the final death blow to steam.

- We'd basically be spraying the entire crowd

with scalding water if we're playing the air with steam.

- Oh, we don't want to do that.

- [Narrator] Jesse's kept hope alive only to watch it die.

It's not a pretty sight.

- So, no steam.

I think everybody's

wussing out. [chicken balks]

I don't really want to k*ll anyone.

Well, maybe a couple people but no one here.

- [Narrator] Not yet anyway.

There's no steam but this team is playing with fire.

Before this build is done,

somebody's going to get burned.

- Just stay focused man.

Keep the teamwork up.

That's all it. - Yeah.

- That's all that matters.

As long as we work together, we'll get it accomplished.

- I don't know if that makes good TV

but it makes good projects. - Oh yeah.

- [Narrator] Just keep it up, Steve.

Traitors always make for good television.

- There's three of us that have been pretty frustrated.

I'm gonna kick his...

And I definitely don't want this thing to fail.

I will beat the [beeps].

- [Narrator] Monster Garage factoid.

The largest pipe organ in the world

is located not in a cathedral in Europe,

but in a department store in Philadelphia.

- [Voiceover] Monster, Monster Garage.

[flames crackle] - [Narrator] Day four

begins with a trip [organ blares]

to see how a real pipe organ works

and where better than the world famous Crystal Cathedral

in Garden Grove, California?

Which boasts the fifth largest pipe organ in the world.

- There are 17,000 pipes, roughly.

About 11,000 of them are in the front.

So they range in size from 32 feet down

to about the size of my pinky.

[pipe organ blares]

It's quite a sound isn't it?

- [Steve] Yeah.

- [Narrator] From crystal clean to down and dirty,

the team gets back to their monster.

At least now they know what their organ won't sound like.

Steve heads back to his new home

to machine the aluminum discs

which must fit just inside the base of the pipes.

With Minister Don Burnes standing by,

Jesse answers the call and gets ordained

the modern way, online.

- I'm trying to become a minister.

- You have my blessing.

- [Jesse] Was it this easy when you got ordained, Don?

- It was a four year program here.

- They've got it condensed down to five minutes now.

I don't want any of this yes, and I do and all that stuff.

I want 'em to like prove it.

I want 'em to like slash their wrists and rub it together.

- Oh well. - Blood brothers.

- Okay that might work.

- [Narrator] It's official.

The irreverent is now the truly Reverend Jesse James.

- [Jesse] Done. [fire crackles]

- [Narrator] When it comes to the institution of marriage,

Jesse's just an old fashioned master fabricator.

- See now my chick's gonna get mad.

Fish that out.

We gotta save it.

Sorry.

My wife, she'll get mad at me

if I burn any wedding effigies.

She's not gonna see the funny humor of Monster Garage.

You know, ha, ha, look at us.

We're wacky burning stuff.

She's just gonna think that means you want us to split up.

- [Narrator] The bells from his own wedding

are still ringing in his ears.

[aggressive music]

Ray and Tonna start on the folding chapel roof.

Ray mounts the tracks while Tonna starts

on the stained glass panes, which will form the roof.

- Okay, what we're working on right here is the two panels

which will become the steeple.

This all came naturally from childhood.

Ed Roth used to take me down

to Lion's drag strip when I was young.

- [Narrator] Tonna learned her trade

from California's god of '60s counter car culture,

Ed Big Daddy Roth.

The rat fink himself.

- He used to call me his little Roth child.

I owe everything to him.

I have 44 best in show winning vehicles to my name so far.

I've done everything from chop channel section.

I do my own paint work.

Ed Roth died just last year and it really hurts.

[aggressive music] [saw whirs]

- [Narrator] Tony and Jim have finished the second door.

It's time for a test run.

[Tony makes bird sounds]

- The door comes up just like you're supposed to.

It shuts tight.

- [Narrator] Jim Morrison was schooled

in the steel mills of Ohio.

He's come to sit and learn at the feet of the master.

- Getting to meet Jesse James.

I think Jesse deserves all the credit that he gets.

He's definitely always doing something

like new and innovative.

He's just a a top-notch welder.

Probably the nicest welds that I've ever seen in my life.

He's the ultimate motor head.

- The doors are working,

all the electrical connections are made.

Everything's working fine.

We're waiting on the second pane to be ground down,

which Tonna's doing now.

So by the time she's done with it,

we're gonna be out of time tonight to do anything.

- [Narrator] They walk out with no steeple for their chapel.

No sign of Steve and no idea when he'll show them his organ.

The only thing that is done is day four.

[fire crackles]

It's the crack of dawn on day five.

Steve's back at the West Coast Choppers organ grinder

still machining aluminum discs.

He's made a lot of metal shavings but no organ yet.

- I love my little Mr. Magoo car.

- [Narrator] Jesse arrives to find the boys

are still waiting for Tonna

to finish grinding down the rather thick wells

on the second roof pane.

- She worked that frame.

Holy [beeps].

- [Narrator] The heat generated from so much grinding

has warped the frame that the crew is waiting for.

Tonna spent all day yesterday working on the roof panels,

which are still not ready.

It looks like the honeymoon is over.

- There's three of us

that have been pretty frustrated with her.

I feel she's been taking way too much time.

A lot of mumbo jumbo.

She's been [beep] with everybody instead of doing the work.

And I mean we're supposed to be a team.

- [Narrator] Jesse heliarchs a cradle

which will enclose the alleged organ.

Finally, both halves of the roof are ready.

Ray and Jim set them in the tracks.

- Does this lay that in on the roof?

Yeah, I mean we're like an RCH right on these two pieces.

- [Narrator] Tonna takes on the task of turning

the inside of the passenger doors

into a walkway for the bride and groom.

Tony fabricates a sturdy mount for the ram

that will raise the roof.

- Nate's gonna help help support this

and it's also gonna

help support our-- - This structure.

When we cut this loose to stop the car from

folding in half, you know,

'cause we're taking all this structure

and support away from it.

- [Narrator] Ray uses Tonna's original door bracket

to help the ram push the roof up.

[tool whirs]

It will be under this arch

that the nefarious nuptials will take place.

- High in the hinges.

Too far.

We gotta put a stop in there. - It works.

- [Narrator] The roof is working.

The team wonders if the same is true about Steve.

- I think Steve's got it under control

because he knew from the get go

I have machining experience and he has plenty of help

but he didn't seem to need it.

So we're counting on him to pull it out.

You know, if he needed the help and he didn't ask,

then that will be a problem.

When he fails us, we're gonna beat his [beeps].

[whip cracks]

- [Narrator] Steve finally returns to the garage

with his machined organ parts.

[aggressive music]

He assembles the first pipe attaching the machine disc

into the base, which will force the air

into a wind sheet, which will blow on the sharpened edges

of the upper part of the pipe, causing the air to oscillate.

[pipe whistles] The pipes

are just giant whistles.

The exact pitch is determined

by a tuning plug which will be inserted into the top.

- It's where you put the plug in the pipe

that determines the note.

The length of the pipe is just

for the cosmetics having the nice shape of the organ.

So this is about what they're gonna look like.

Is there an air nozzle around air hose heading this way?

Air nozzle.

Hey. - There you go.

- Okay.

[pipe whirs]

I think we're there.

All right.

- [Jesse] It's an automatic shop cleaner.

- [Tonna] Oh my God. [mechanic cheers]

Never a dull moment.

- [Narrator] The team has finally heard

the first belch of their beast,

but it's already after seven at night

and they only have one day left to build.

Still without a finished organ,

the team wants to proceed with mounting

the pivoting organ cradle in the back of the suburban.

But Steve will not allow it.

- I can't sanction that.

It's gonna fail.

- We have to be able to work on the organ outside

of the vehicle and get that to a certain state

of completion before we put it in.

There's no other way to do it.

- [Narrator] The burning man has become the spurning man.

- I can mount this up there.

We can try and get our geometry and get this.

- We can't get it.

Don't you know what I'm saying?

Is if we can't get it until the organ's in this

and we have the rest of the structure on this,

we cannot get there from here.

I can't plan ahead that far

and I know nobody else here can either.

- So let's pose this question.

How much more time do you need to get the organ

to the state where we can put the pipes

and the manifold in the basket?

- The rest of tonight. - The rest of tonight.

All right, so let's get back to work then.

- [Narrator] The team can only grind and bear it.

It's Steve's organ but this wedding party is disintegrating

and Jesse can feel it.

- That's Monster Garage.

We take people's spirit and crush it into oblivion.

- [Narrator] Monster Garage factoid.

Las Vegas is the wedding capital of the world

hosting over 100,000 marriages a year.

- [Voiceover] Monster, Monster Garage.

- [Narrator] It's still day five.

It's after 10:00 PM with only one day left

and the team runs into a big problem.

After finishing her walkways,

Tonna can't get the side doors

to rise by themselves anymore.

- Well something's out of alignment.

It was working.

- Maybe just the bar's out.

Maybe...

It's that.

- She [beeps] up the door.

I'm gonna kick her in [beeps] mouth, dude.

I swear to God she should have been banging.

Dude [beeps] was done.

Leave it alone.

- I don't know what was going on over there.

- Well I don't know either,

but I'm [beep] 'cause that thing [beep]

and now it don't.

We should just kick her off the build team.

- What?

What can you do?

- [Mechanic] Well that means everybody's gonna compete.

- There's dissension among the ranks

and I'm trying to keep my nose out of it.

- Huh?

What?

- Me and Tony had 'em both working last night.

Trying put the skins on 'em

now they don't work.

- Now bring it up.

- [Tony] Too much weight. - Nope.

- [Tony] That's exactly what it is.

- [Tonna] Yeah, can't go down to the next knot can ya?

- Nope, but that changed all the geometry.

Then we gotta cut all the brackets loose

and start over from scratch. - What?

- And I ain't doing that.

You put pipes in there to make it raise up

these extra brackets in here.



It probably feels like 50 pounds to that rim, huh?

We just gotta cut them bars out of there.

- Maybe.

- There ain't no maybes.

We have to.

Well? - Let's check

all the other avenues first.

- They gotta go.

There ain't no choice.

- [Tonna] Gimme a little time just to think about.

- [Mechanic] Hey Ray.

- Okay, just don't kick us up.

- [Tonna] Oh, no, no, not without assistance.

- [Tony] I don't wanna fix that either.

- [Tonna] Yeah, me neither.

- I don't think she has the skills to pay the bills.

Dude, that's mine freaking personal opinion.

She said she's been customizing cars for how many years?

I've been doing this [beep] for seven months dude.

And I'm [beeps] all over her.

Now the doors that we spent two days on to get working,

they don't work 'cause she put too much weight

to pull 'em up.

I told 'em earlier when they're adding these braces

a little too much, too thick.

- [Narrator] Hey Tony, [tape reel squeals]

don't you remember Tonna asking you about the weight?

- [Tony] What's your question?

- With the weight of this. - Right.

- I mean underneath this floor panel,

is it gonna create a problem with lifting?

- [Tony] It should not.

- Should not?

Cool.

- [Tony] Should, should not. - Should not?

- I'm giving her 10 more

minutes and I wanna go in there and cut her off.

Now what is she doing?

Hey Tonna, tell me you're not making

another bracket for that door.

- Okay I won't tell you.

I'm gonna try one thing.

It's not gonna bother me.

- I'm gonna cut it out.

We ain't got time for this, Tonna.

You knew that's what the problem was is the weight,

you know what I'm saying?

And we already had the doors workin'.

There's no even reason

to even start refabricating those brackets.

No, I'm gonna cut

'em out myself. - You're gonna cut 'em out?

- [Tony] And if it works, what are you gonna gimme?

- A big hug.

- [Tony] I don't want a hug,

I want money. - You don't want a hug?

Well we'll see how they work.

- [Tony] All right.

- They aren't lifting because they're hyper extended

but you gotta let them try, you know?

This is good for 'em, let them try.

- Okay. - I can put it back on.

- [Tony] We ain't putting it back on

'cause it's gonna work after I take it off.

- All right.

- [Tony] Nice cold welds.

Yeah, that was a strong welds.

[metal clanks]

This is how we had it.

So I'm just gonna prove to her that it was the weight.

Hey, how about that?

It [beeps] works.

I told you and you didn't listen to me.

- Are you in for that hug?

- I don't want the hug,

I want the money honey.

Who was right, ladies and gentlemen?

I ain't gonna look like a jackass 'cause we failed.

Man, I ain't got time for this.

[Tonna groans]

- [Narrator] This wedding party has dissolved

into a hate fest.

- I mean this was the only project she really had today

and she didn't even finish it.

- After I went to the bathroom and finished,

you know, turning off my faucet of course,

and wiping up and getting cold water

and you know, the normal thing.

I mean, after all I am female and these things do happen.

You know?

- The only thing she's done good

is those Maltese cross templates, you know,

and that's what she's good at

is drawing and cutting out.

And I think, you know, that's her skill.

She should have been on the design team

and sent the hell home.

- I don't know, maybe the stress is getting to him

and that's why he lashed out like that.

It doesn't feel good when you're on my side of the fence.

I mean, he doesn't have to slap people down.

Somehow I think he needs to control that.

Otherwise he's not gonna have very many friends

that wanna work with him.

- [Narrator] Tension fills the room

while Tony lightens the doors.

Ray and Jim occupy themselves

with building the rear sliding platform

with the organ, bench, and keyboard stand.

Left with no project to work on,

Tonna decides to undergo some plasma therapy.

Turns out she's got the skills to cure Tony's ills

with a slick show of plasma cutting panache.

- I'm gonna present him with the trophy

and congratulate him on his accomplishment.

Tony, you know I don't cuss

so don't take this wrong, okay?

Presenting you with the Rat Fink fickle finger award.

- Right on. - For being number one.

- I like that.

- Now can I get that hug?

- Yeah, you can. - Okay. [laughs]

- [Tony] You're gonna try to tell me [beeps] too.

I like it. [Tonna laughs]

I love that.

- Hey, that was a tough one.

It took a long time to get up to that one.

- Yeah, that's nice.

I'm number one.

That's awesome.

I'll keep that forever.

That's actually pretty cool.

Pretty cool.

- [Narrator] The team,

or rather this dysfunctional collection of individuals,

began this build by hijacking the project away

from Jesse's steam powered leadership.

And now the result is clear.

Fragmented, bickering, and way behind schedule,

this team has run out of steam

and is about to run out of gas.

- [Big Schwag] Jesse's itching to do a hitching,

but folks, he needs some lovebirds

ripe for the picking.

His monster's gonna peak.

- Maybe I can help out a little bit.

- [Big Schwab] What's it gonna be?

Holy matrimony or total anarchy?

You be the judge. [electricity crackles]

- [Voiceover] Monster, Monster Garage.

- [Narrator] Day six, the final build day has arrived.

There is no tomorrow.

The exhausted crew straggles into the garage.

Although they worked until 2:30 in the morning,

Steve did not finish assembling all of the 26 pipes.

- Got home at 3:30.

My wife was a little chatty last night.

I got to sleep about 5:30.

Got up at six.

- [Narrator] Jesse and the team are eager

to mount the organ cradle in the rear of the suburban,

but Steve insists that they must wait for the organ

to be completed to make sure it will fit.

- [Jesse] Well you should be able to weld this in.

It's unbolted.

- Well, he was worried about the geometry.

- I wanted to just kind

of reckon later the situation here.

Is that a real word?

- [Jesse] It's all about this organ now.

So...

- [Narrator] The team seems to be getting tired

of waiting for Steve's permission to move forward.

- The job is done

and we got one guy we're waiting to get it going.

So.

- Unfortunately he spent the first three

and a half days over at West Coast Choppers doing machining.

Tony's a machinist

and he could have definitely assisted him.

- Any machinist can machine what he did

in a couple of hours.

- And he may just be the kind of person who prefers

to work by himself.

Unfortunately, this is a group effort

and you know, he had information we needed.

So a lot of projects got put off.

- [Narrator] Steve and Tonna

hurriedly continue assembling pipes.

There's not really anything

the rest of the team can do until the organ is done.

Jesse, who's been reduced to Steve's errand boy,

heads off to the trucker store to get some clamps,

which will stabilize the delicate pipes.

The rest of the team looks for ways to keep busy.

Ray and Jim decide to add garage door springs

to the problematic side doors

to give them a little extra lift.

- Does that work for us?

- [Ray] That does it.

- [Narrator] Tony makes a bracket

to mount the two large compressed nitrogen tanks.

- That's what's gonna give it its power.

Instead of using steam, we're gonna use nitrogen gas.

- [Narrator] Wuss.

- You gonna get the tanks mounted?

- [Jim] Yeah, I'm gonna do that right now.

- [Narrator] The nitrogen tanks will have

to be mounted in the passenger seat

since the organ will barely fit in the back.

Some wedding cake is brought in for the crew

and Tonna is elected to decorate it.

Ray tests the large ram, which will move the organ

and the rear platform. [cash register clanks]

- [Steve] Later, no matter what.

- [Narrator] Steve is still not finished with all the pipes.

So Ray and Jim attach the ram to the rear platform

and get ready to test it.

- So you ready Ray?

- [Ray] Yeah.

[platform whirs]

- [Jim] That's good.

- It works.

- [Narrator] With her wedding cake decorated,

Tonna makes a hood ornament for the chapel.

[energetic music]

Jesse returns from the trucker store with his bounty.

[cash register clicks]

Steve is finally ready to start assembling

the ranks of the organ pipes.

An inpatient Jesse begins welding support brackets

for the pipes while Steve is still screwing

the second rank of pipes in place.

The organ is finally assembled

and Jesse pauses to behold its divine glory.

It looks good, but it still strangely silent.

- You ready?

- [Narrator] Now the team can work on mounting

the 150 pound organ in the rear of the suburban.

- That's somethin' you don't see every day.

- [Narrator] Jim welds the pivot studs in place

and Tony cuts the rods that will connect the rear platform

to the organ so they can deploy

together using one ram.

The ram will move the platform

and the rods will pull the organ into the upright position.

The keyboard is set in place

before testing the deployment of the organ.

- We are installed. - Oh cool.

- [Narrator] And a little support from above never hurts.

- Could we have a time check time?

What time is it? - It is 7:30.

- [Jim] 7:30.

- Okay.

No panic going on here.

- [Tony] Okay, try it.

- [Jesse] Oh, it's working.

- The organ clearances are acceptable.

Yeah, let's see if the roof shuts.

- Oh yeah, and you are doing plumbing and wiring.

- [Steve] Plumbing and wiring,

yeah. - And I'm gonna

up 'til midnight, right?

- [Steve] I'm gonna need somebody to help me.

- You already got juice to the battery, so.

- Okay, so this is hot right now?

- [Ray] Yeah. - Okay, cool.

[clock ticks]

- Steve? - Yeah.

- Is the wiring done yet?

- [Steve] No.

- Almost?

- [Steve] A quarter.

- Okay, cool.

- This will be number 15.

- How about now?

[men laugh]

- Are we there yet?

No.

Are we there yet?

No.

Are we there yet?

No. - Can we do any

of the plumbing for you?

- Nope.

It would take longer to explain how to do it.

And I'd have to stop doing this to explain how to do it.

If you want fast, just watch me happen.

- [Jesse] You know, if this doesn't work,

you know what's gonna happen, don't you?

- [Steve] What?

- I'm asking you, what should your punishment be?

What's your 40 yard dash time?

- Yeah, how hard is it to run some fricking lines?

- Look at 'em guys.

Everybody's standing around or waiting so...

- Yee-haw. [Tony thuds on wood]

- Will you stop that please?

Please stop that.

[beeps] stop that.

- You gonna snap at me like that all day?

My [beeps] brother won't talk to me like that.

I will be [beep] end of discussion.

- We're sort of down to the wire

and we're waiting to hear this thing play music.

Everything else works great.

- I definitely want the tools

and I definitely don't want this thing to fail.

- [Jim] So we really all sort of put our faith into him.

But he didn't really keep any of us in the loop.

- You don't talk down to me,

especially when you can't hold your own.

We only got a couple hours left

and if we fail because of him,

he better get the 40 yard dash running real quick.

- It sucks.

It like undermines the whole thing about a team.

You know, it's about everybody pulling together.

- He just wants to keep talking down to people

and he hasn't done [beeps].

He just knows how to run his mouth

and somebody's gonna have to shut it for him.

- If it doesn't work, I'm gonna kick his [beep].

- I share the same sentiment with those two.

So I guess that's what'll happen.

- He said, you ever talk to me like that again

and it's always any threats. - It ain't a threat.

No, it's a promise.

- You better just watch your mouth.

That's all that's gonna happen

or it will happen.

And I promise you.

- Take it easy.

Don't do that. - You take it easy.

- I'm trying to make peace, dude.

- [Jim] I don't want it.

- In the fourth quarter,

is Steve starting to turn into a [beeps]?

We haven't had a fire for a while here, huh?

[aggressive music] [fire crackles]

[Jesse laughs]

I'm just gonna break stuff.

- [Narrator] Jesse is on a tear.

So much for Art Appreciation Day in the Monster Garage.

- This is Monster Garage, not Monster Arts and Crap Village.

[Tonna laughs]

- God.

- [Narrator] Now Steve is finally ready

to start cooking with gas.

The win or lose moment of truth is at hand.

A veteran is brought in

to coax the nitrogen breathing beast to speak.

It is Jacque Flury,

the organist from Long Beach's own Queen Mary.

[Queen Mary's horn blows]

- I've been the organist

at the Queen Mary wedding chapel for 30 years.

- [Narrator] As she settles her experienced

fingers on the ivories,

there is a rare hush of anticipation in the garage.

[pipe organ blares]

- It works.

- Well it's really not in tune. [chuckles]

- [Narrator] Though the organ is still uncomfortably loud,

and even more uncomfortably out of tune,

Jacque perseveres through the dry run.

The tortured sounds of this organ are a fitting backdrop

to the death throws of this team's broken marriage.

While the team files for divorce,

Tom Pruitt gives the chapel some love.

- I'm gonna base coat it.

Silver primer sealer.

Actually the primer itself has metallic in it.

And then we're gonna top it off with the big silver flake.

- [Narrator] Monster Garage factoid.

The average cost of a US wedding is $20,000.

The average cost of a US divorce, $20,000.

- [Voiceover] Monster, Monster Garage.

- [Big Schwag] Okay, fans.

We're living large in the number one garage.

There's another monster on the loose.

So you know what that means.

I'm Big Schwag.

- [Frankie] And I'm Frankie Whiteside.

- [Big Schwag] And this is the start

of another Monster Garage Challenge.

- [Frankie] Jesse's looking bad in a badass suburban.

- [Big Schwag] He's silver streaking right

into Sin City.

- [Frankie] And Schwag, it's Valentine's Day.

Jesse doesn't want trouble.

He's a man of the cloth now.

Reverend James is looking for love.

- [Big Schwag] That's right, Frankie.

It's the Super Bowl of bondage

and the master minister wants

to weld two people together in Monster matrimony.

[wedding bells chime] - [Frankie] In a town known

for wacky ways to we'd, one lucky couple

is about to make hitching history.

- [Big Schwag] All Jesse needs are some victims, Frank.

I mean volunteers.

- [Frankie] The Stardust.

Now this is Vegas old school.

- [Big Schwag] What's up with these two, Frank?

- [Frankie] They look like a honeymoon that's over.

- [Big Schwag] Before it even started.

- [Frankie] Schwag, it's just not right.

It's Valentine's Day.

- [Big Schwag] They're breaking my heart.

[glass shatters]

Bitchin' car!

- [Frankie] Dude, that's a Ferrari Daytona Spider.

Rare and expensive.

- Hey, how you guys doing?

You're not looking too happy.

Is there something I can help you with?

- Came all this way to get married

and there's no place to go.

- [Bride] Everybody's booked.

We have nowhere to go.

- You mean nobody will marry you in this town?

Well, maybe I can help out a little bit, okay?

- [Big Schwag] Dude, who's the dude?

- [Frankie] The Stardust is Wayne's World and that's him.

Wayne Newton.

- Oh, Jesse.

Yeah, it's Wayne.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Listen, I got a couple here that look pretty forlorn.

You think you can help 'em out?

Ciao.

He's on his way.

- [Couple] Thank you.

- Okay.

You guys have a great life together, okay?

[bell chimes] God bless.

- [Big Schwag] Now that's what I call class.

- [Frankie] He's in a class by himself.

- [Big Schwag] Mr. Newton, Monster Garage salutes you.

- [Frankie] They don't make 'em like that anymore.

- [Big Schwag] And there's only one guy

who makes 'em like this.

The name of the monster, Wedlock.

Watch it unfold.

- What is that?

- [Frankie] This is good.

If you're gonna build a chapel, it better have an organ.

- [Big Schwag] Shh, let's listen folks.

[organ plays out of tune]

- [Frankie] Oh wow. - Ouch.

Behind the wheel he traded his blue collar for a white one.

But don't cross him.

He's a badass believer.

The good Reverend Jesse James. [pipe organ blares]

[g*n c*ck] [g*n blasts]

- Chris, Sarah.

Wayne called me and said you guys need

to get hooked up with the wedding.

- That's right. - That is true.

- All right, we got some rings.

- [Big Schwag] Hey, look at this.

Delivered in style by the best bellhop.

- [Frankie] And the bar maiden of honor.

- Sarah, you take Chris to be your main man?

- I do.

- Chris, you take Sarah to be your old lady?

- Oh yeah.

- All right guys, go ahead, kiss.

- [Bride] Kiss. - Make it snappy.

All right, here you go.

- [Big Schwag] Jesse lays down his stamp of approval.

- [Jesse] All right,

here you go. - Pay up, suckers.

- [Jesse] Don't wash that off

or you're gonna mess it up.

- [Bride] All right. - All right, go ahead.

- [Big Schwag] That's right, Jesse.

Keep them moving.

Kids walk the walk. [bystanders applaud]

Cue the rice, check. [bystanders cheer]

Some cheap champagne.

The cakes on a roll.

- [Frankie] No time to cut.

Eat it.

And that's Jesse's cue to beat it.

- [Big Schwag] But he's got no time for bad receptions,

misconceptions, and we beat teams that blow off steam

just to play it safe.

You pansies because he's got metal to burn.

Sparks to fly.

The next Monster Garage Challenge

is just around the bend.

[Tonna laughs] [men laugh]

- [Tonna] Hey, guys.

- [Jesse] Hey guys.

- [Narrator] A full set of Mac tools is all that's needed

to heal the wounds of the week.

- Tonna. - Thank you.

- Steve.

Some tools, Monster Garage CD.

Congratulations.

- [Tonna] Thank you.

[wedding music]

[aggressive music]

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster

[gentle tone cascades]