[Music]
Hello, Amanda. It's your
agent, Susie Allen, on the line.
Listen, you got a call back
for that gum pain commercial.
Anyway, they need to
look at your tongue again.
Oh, by the way, I heard you did some
type of beauty contest down in
Jersey.
How did that go?
It went great.
[shower sounds]
[door opens]
[Glass breaking]
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
[Scary Music]
[screams]
[screams]
[music & projector sounds]
[police sirens]
Yeah.
That's a f*cking mess is what
it is.
It's going to be a late night.
Another Saturday night,
and I got a body.
Yeah,
I know. See what happens.
Yeah. All right. Yeah, all
right. I'll talk to you later.
Hey, buddy.
Hey nice of you to show up.
Oh, yeah. Gee, thanks.
Yeah, I forgot I was on call.
I was supposed to take the wife
to dinner.
You and the f*cking wife. You got
more stories and "Domestic
Issues."
It's unbelievable.
What can I tell you?
Yeah. That's why I never got
married.
Oh, is that why?
Oh, because I thought it
was because you like dudes.
It's 2025, Phil. g*y marriage
is legal.
Not in my America.
Okay, whatever.
So what do you think this was,
partner? You think it was a
robbery?
Nah, I don't think so, because she
had a lot of jewelry, some
diamonds, nice
watch, left right out in the
office, right on the table.
Oh, yeah?
She's some kind of an actress
or a model or some sh*t like
that.
Huh.
So you guys went through the
place or what?
Yeah, with a fine-tooth comb.
So let me ask you,
with all your years of
experience and vast research,
what do you think this was?
Well, it's definitely not a
robbery.
And from the looks of the way
she got cut up, this was up
close and
personal.
You know what I think?
No, but I am sure you're going
to tell me.
You're correct.
What I see is a pretty young
girl, actress, model, k*lled
alone in
her own apartment.
You know what this is. This
is a full-fledged media frenzy.
And for the next two to three
weeks, you and I, our lives are
ruined.
f*ck me.
Once upon a time, lived
a sad and lonely girl from.
Bushwick, Brooklyn.
And just like every starving artist
from New York City, where it is
almost
impossible to find an
affordable apartment,
she was trying to find true
love from complete strangers.
And this is where our story
begins.
Hello, and welcome all back to
our venue.
It's been a very long
one-hour afternoon, but it
has been full of fun,
entertainment, and many a
skill.
We are broadcasting live from
sunny New York in Yonkers.
Of course, we are broadcasting live
to all those YouTube fans out
there, so
y'all start tuning in.
Ain't that right, Spike?
Oh, yeah.
Beautiful. Hey, Spike here.
He's our technological guru, and
he's got his Android by the jack. I
myself, I don't know about you,
but
I am excited to hear what
the staggering numbers are.
I am so excited. I can't sit
still in my seat.
Oh, my God. Spike, why don't you just hit
us with it? How many people are
watching?
10?
10. Just went to 11.
There's hope.
Well,
what about the audience? What
do they think about the
spectacular
show our beautiful contestants
have been putting on?
Horny69 want the lady in
the green dress to take her top
off.
No!
Absolutely not. This is Mrs.
Yonkers. This is a wholesome
act. We are a class act.
Might I remind you, this venue
only revolves around key
elements
that make us wholesome.
It's benevolent beauty,
perfect personality, cunning
class,
and
super skill.
Well, everybody's watching
Michelle.
Yeah. Well, like I said,
skill. And Michelle, yes.
I agree, Spike. Michelle, she
has...
How do I put this?
She has what the French would
call
a "je ne sais quoi."
That's right. But anyway,
with that ado,
Michelle, congratulations. Round
of applause for Michelle
Sakowski.
You are now
the winner of the Mrs. Yonkers
contest.
Are you guys serious?
I've warned you, Karen. You keep
this up, and I'm going to
continue
deducting points for your
congeniality.
I already lost.
Well, it doesn't matter then,
does it?
[clapping]
Thank you. Thank you for
coming, all.
Hey, how much you think I can
get for this pink paint, this
pink paint
brush at the flea market?
Well, is it pink, or is it used
or new?
It's used, and it's pink.
If it's used, I can get you
somebody to buy it for like
$3. I sold four of them last
week.
$3?
Yeah. If it's new, $4.
[accordion music]
[suspense music]
[trampoline sounds]
Oh, you dirty little mascot,
you.
Oh, that's it...
[door closes]
Hey, honey.
Oh, my God. What a day I
had today. These stupid judges.
Oh. Something go wrong?
What's got you all upset?
Really?
Ted, where the hell were you
today?
I was here working, doing my
work.
Working on what?
My job, honey. Come on,
you know I got to pay the bills.
I don't understand.
What happened today?
Really, Ted? Really?
What?
Oh, God, the beauty pageant.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so, so sorry, honey.
Was there a problem?
Yes, there was a problem.
I won second place to some
stupid
wh*re. Yeah, you heard. f*cking
wh*re.
Oh, I'm so sorry, honey.
I'm sure that there was
some political reason for it.
You're obviously the most beautiful
woman that God ever created.
Really, Ted? Ted,
if you really love me, you would
have been there to support me.
I understand that, hon, but.
I mean
someone's got to earn a living.
Your little hobby is pretty
costly,
so...
What? Hobby? What the
hell do you mean hobby?
This is not a hobby to me. It's
my career.
Right.
Career.
But
it doesn't bring in much money.
So
it's up to me to be the
breadwinner and
supply your ambitions.
So,
Ted,
you're lucky that I'm married
to you,
because if I wasn't married to you, I
would've gave that judge a
Paris Hilton
special.
Okay.
Well, dinner's ready, so you don't
have to worry about that. All
right?
Oh, good. What did you cook?
Chicken Alfredo.
Are you serious?
How many time I'm
going to tell you, no carbs?
Are you trying to make me fat?
No, no, no. I.
Maybe that's why I won second
place today.
No, it's not because of your
fat. Listen.
What? What do you mean I'm fat?
No. No, you don't have any fat. I'm justPsaying, it's not because of thepfood, all
right? I'll scrape it off.
No, you know what? You freaking eat itPyourself. I'm going to have apcucumber.
[suspense music]
[Japanese language]
[Japanese Language]
Ted, turn off the light, please.
You know, honey, I
want to apologize about earlier
today.
I didn't mean to make you upset.
Ted, whatever. Please turn off
the lights.
You smell nice.
What is it?
Ted, it's Vaseline on my face.
Can you please turn off the
light?
You know, that's the thing with
these beauty contests, is you
just keep
intimidating all the other
contestants.
You're just
so sexy.
Of course, I intimidate
them. Of course, I'm sexy.
Look, turn off the light,
please.
You should try and be a little
nicer. You'd probably do better.
Catch more bees with honey,
right?
Excuse me? What are you now,
the beauty expert on pageant?
Come on, turn off the lights.
It was just a suggestion.
Listen, let me tell you
something, Ted.
If you would have pay attention to
me every time I talk to you
about this
...
Okay. Okay.
Just to let you know, I'm taking
the car into the shop tomorrow.
It's been making this clunking
noise, like.
Ted, I don't care, man.
Come on, turn off the light.
I need 9 to 12 hours of sleep
to keep looking young, man.
Come on, turn off the damn
light.
All right. All right.
Can we talk about this
another time? Turn it off.
You know, I've
been hitting the gym lately.
I haven't noticed.
Well,
maybe you'd notice this.
Can't you tell I'm rock hard?
Ted, what the hell's your problem,
man? Turn off the damn light.
Let me tell you something, Ted.
All right?
I'm like a boxer, okay?
There's no sex until I win that
belt. Now, turn off the light.
Well, can't I get a blowjob at
least? I mean, that's just your
mouth.
That's not sex.
No, Ted. What the hell is your
problem?
You want to make my mouth
like the Lincoln Tunnel? No.
No blowjob, no nothing. I can't
get a wrinkle in my mouth. No.
Ted, turn off the light now.
Oh, no. Can't sleep this way.
I can't sleep this way.
I have to sleep straight this
way.
[scary music]
[footsteps]
[light turns off]
[suspense music]
Holy f*ck!
[window smash]
[window smash]
[window smash]
[screams]
[glass smash]
[screams]
[stabs]
[fire crackle]
[suspense music]
[helicopter sounds]
All right. So we've got one
girl in here.
This is starting to look like a
serial k*lling.
You know how much I don't
like to agree with you, but I.
Yeah, that's the truth
have to say, I think you're
right.
This is going to be a problem.
Yep. Problem.
Speaking of problems.
Detectives, we need answers.
There's a serial k*ller on the
loose.
What do you have to say?
Listen, we have no comment at this
time. The investigation is just
starting.
I'll update you as soon as we
have more information. Okay?
That's unacceptable. The
American people deserve answers.
Listen. Again, we have no comment.
We're just starting the
investigation.
Can you get her out of here,
please?
Sir, what do you have to say,
Detective?
What do you have to say?
Come on, you know the rules. Just wait untilPlater until the press releasepcomes out.
We need it by 11:00 o'clock
tonight. We need answers, sir.
Listen, Donna. All right?
Consider me a famous
politician, all right?
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.PI'm going to need a little prpquo here.
Let's go.
What exactly are you talking
about?
Oh, come on, Donna.
You're an educated woman.
Didn't you go to Harvard or Yale or somePfancy school that teaches youpwhich one
the salad fork is?
Princeton, as*h*le.
Yeah, okay. Same difference.
What number was President Biden?
50th?
Okay, 46th Princeton.
But anyway, I'll take the 50.
You throw me a Biden, and
I'll be gossiping like a
Catholic
schoolgirl high on
communion wine. Let's go.
Company policy. We
don't pay for information.
Oh, okay. Well, then you don't make the
11:00 o'clock news, you don't
become a
star, and that network
job, kiss it goodbye.
But, I heard Davenport, Iowa's
looking for a new weather
person. Huh?
That could be you.
No one knows about this.
Oh, hang on. Let's pretend that
Biden got elected three more
times.
Very good.
Okay, partner.
What are you doing?
What? Nothing. What am I
doing? What? You find anything
out?
Yeah, I got a name.
You got a name?
I got a name.
All right. What do you got?
The girl's name is Sikowski.
Sikowski?
Mm-hmm.
As in Detective Tom Sikowski?
Yeah. It's his daughter.
Oh, sh*t.
Yeah. This is a big f*cking
problem.
It's a whole another level, my
friend.
That certainly is.
There's not going to be any
vacations for a while, that's
for sure.
Oh, don't think so.
[suspense music]
The only Miranda I know is my
cousin.
[laughter]
What a loser.
Hey, Gary, how did eye surgery go?
When are they removing the
patch?
How you doing, Tom?
Oh, Gary. Good to see you.
So.
Glad you could come. Glad to
see you.
I wanted to stop by and offer
you a c*ck. Have a drink
with me?
Oh, I don't touch the stuff
anymore. It's bad for me.
Tom, what are you worried
about? Losing control?
This is a retirement party. Out of
all nights, you just got to let
loose.
What are you going to
do, sleep in tomorrow?
You remind me about losing control. I
don't want to go through that
anymore.
And besides, it upsets my
stomach terribly.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay. I got a solution for you.
It's how I live every day.
That there is a seltzer
highball. Drink up. No excuses.
That's a good boy scout there.
Drink that milk.
Ugh. When are you going to
retire?
I've been behind a desk for
eight years. I've been retired.
You know that they did that to you
because you got caught on
camera, in the
car, doing things you weren't
supposed to do too many times.
So you're going to be
on the desk-... for forever.
Yeah, well, it is what it is. f*cking New
York City and the surveillance
system.
Back in the day, Tom, we'd be able
to go to Times Square Saturday
night
and have hookers give us
blowjobs, and nobody cared.
Now, just no respect for the
badge.
Well, that's not exactly
respect. Geez.
We sure can't get away with
stuff like we used to anymore.
Well, that is for sure. Back
in the day, you remember.
Phone book, some rope, lead
pipe, we'd get confessions
every day.
Well, I'll drink to that. I
remember.
Good.
Yeah.
About time you started drinking
again.
I'm going to miss you.
I'll miss you too, Gary. We
had some great times together.
What are you going to do in
retirement now?
I can't live on my pension. I
can't do police work anymore.
I'm going to have to get a
second
job and a peanut job, like
being a school bus driver
or guarding the bananas
in a grocery store or
being a Walmart greeter
or something like that.
Tom.
That's all we got.
I'm just depressed now. But I tell youPwhat, thanks for your servicepand I'm going
to see you when I see you, okay?
Cheers, buddy.
Feel better.
[phone rings]
Yeah?
Hi, Tom. It's Detective Harris.
Hey, what's up? You coming to
the party?
No, I'm actually not. I'm not
really calling about that, Tom.
I have some bad news.
What?
Your daughter was found
m*rder*d in her apartment.
What? Who?
Your daughter, Tom.
Was found what?
I'm really sorry.
No.
No.
It can't be.
It's true, Tom. I'm really
sorry.
Okay.
[phone ringing]
[pensive music]
[phone beep]
Hello?
Karen.
Hello, it's Stan. Judge
Stan, from the contest.
Oh, yeah. I remember you.
Did you call to apologize to me?
No, not exactly.
[clears throat]
I'm afraid I have some horrible
news.
Let me guess. I'm
banned from entering the contest
because I threw up and stuff?
No. Wait,
what was that? What?
Nothing. Never mind.
What is it? I'm busy right now.
Okay. Well,
it seems that Michelle Sikorsky
was m*rder*d last night.
Oh, wow. That's really bad
news. I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm sorry, who's that again?
Michelle. She was the winner
of Mrs. Yonkers. Remember?
The contest?
Oh, right.
I remember her.
All right, so listen, let me
see.
Okay, I don't have a paper, a
pen with me.
Anyway, when you have time, can you justPemail me the information, likpher address
or something, or.
I don't know, whatever it is,
so I could send some flowers or
a basket of fruits or something?
Because I'm very busy
right now. I'm doing
yoga, so can you hurry up?
No.
Karen, I don't think you
understand what I'm trying to
tell
you. With
Michelle deceased now, and
you being the runner-up, you are
now the new crown holder for
Mrs.
Yonkers. Now, remember, you're
going to have to absorb all of
the
responsibilities to Mrs.
Yonkers, okay?
That means personal visits
to all the live events in Bronx.
You're going to have to attend the
ribbon cuttings all throughout
tire shops,
nail salons, and thrift
stores in the borough.
That means Yonkers, the Bronx,
maybe seeping into the city as
well.
There are going to be some several, whatPdo they say, walk and talpinterviews with
newspapers, cameras,
paparazzi, and everything, all
throughout the borough.
But we are going to organize
those around some of the most
prestigious pawn shops, and I
know a few guys, if you know
what I mean.
Now, play your cards right, like I told
you, and you do everything that
we tell you
to do, you get an open
ticket to compete for.
Mrs. Manhattan.
How's that?
[jumping and running]
Hello?
Karen, you there?
[vomitting sounds]
[turns on sink]
[gargles]
[spits out water]
[toilet flush]
[cheering]
Whoa, whoa.
What happened?
You wouldn't believe what happened. Mrs.PYonkers is dead. She gopmurdered, k*lled.
I don't know. I don't care.
Okay.
Ted, you don't understand, do
you?
Now that she's not here no
more, that she,
it makes me the new Miss
Yonkers.
Oh. Hey, great. Good for
you. You know, we should
celebrate by making love.
Oh, thank you. Oh, my God.
You're right.
Oh, my God. I can't stop
smiling. This Botox is k*lling
me.
Shall we?
Ted, are you serious? You're
trying to freaking damage my
liver?
No. You're right.
Oh, my God.
We don't need alcohol to
celebrate. Let's just get naked.
No.
I can't stop smiling. I might
bite your eggplant all. No.
Okay.
Not today.
Oh, my God.
How about a little kiss?
Ted, no.
You might give me acne, and I
have to do interviews and stuff.
That hair you have on your face.
Your mustache, your beard. Oh,
my God.
Oh, God.
Listen, Ted.
There's no lovemaking until,
you know now I
won Miss Yonkers, and then
Miss Boston, and then Miss
Manhattan, but the most
important one is.
Miss America.
How long is this all going to
take?
I don't know, sweetheart. According
to my research and knowledge,
18 months to a year.
Because I have to travel to
places like Puerto Rico, Santo
Domingo,
Mexico, do all these live
appearance and
interview, and come on magazine
and the
newspaper and TV, and maybe soap
opera. Who knows? [Cat sounds]
Oh, my God.
What the hell is this,
Ted? Is this thing still alive?
Can you please get rid of this
damn cat?
No wonder all my dresses
and outfits have hair
everywhere.
And oh, my God, do you know
how much my dresses cost?
Please, Ted, get rid of it.
Well, at least you still
love me, right, Lulu?
[cat sounds]
[suspense music]
[office noise]
[eating sounds]
So, you said.
She's ugly, though.
I know, but you give her
platform shoes, and she'll make
her
face go above the frame a
little bit.
Why do you like her so much?
Have you seen her legs?
I don't think so.
No.
Hi, Stan. Hey, guys.
Hi.
Hi, Karen. Hey, Karen. You
remember Spike, don't you?
Yeah. Of course, I remember
him. Hi, Stan. I mean, hi,
Spike.
Yeah. Well, we promoted him to
be a judge
on the Mrs. Manhattan pageant.
Oh, hey Spike. I'm sorry, I
didn't have my glasses on.
How are you? You look so
handsome today.
Is that a new cologne you're
wearing?
Yeah.
Smells so good.
Well, that's my new
pimple cream that I use.
Well, anyway.
Where I put the.
This is our newest judge.
Hi, how are you?
I'm good. How are you?
Mrs. Janice Gladstone. Now,
she's new in the New York area,
but she has had a great deal of
success.
And as a beauty judge,
she's also judged for Mrs.
South Dakota.
Oh, wow.
[taps desk]
Now, you do understand that with this
position, you're going to have
a great deal
of responsibilities, right?
Yeah, of course. And I'm willing to
do my best to make you all
proud of
me. You'll see.
Good, because as Mrs. Bronx, you're going
to be having to do a lot of new
things,
Karen.
Wait, I thought this is Mrs.
Yonkers?
Oh,
right. Same difference
anyways, I'm from South Dakota.
Anyways, I'm going to need you to
advocate for charities, Karen.
Okay?
We're going to have to have you
work with the homeless as well.
Wait, I don't really have to
work in a soup kitchen, right?
With the homeless people? They
smell really bad, and most of
them are
crazy.
[clears throat]
You know, Karen,
[glasses on table]
If you play your cards right,
and you do everything
that we tell you to do, you
can be the next Mrs. New York.
[cheers]
Okay.
Okay.
Relax. I'm going to have you work
on some new routines, okay,
Karen?
Listen, I believe in you, and
we really want this for you.
We've got to get rid of those
stale routines. Out with the
old, in with the new, okay?
I mean, I'm 25 years old.
I mean, I'm not that old.
Yeah, I could do it.
Good.
I bet you we find out how old
she is, we cut the limbs off and
count the rings.
Excuse me, what was that?
Let's go.
Come on.
Hmm.
[slams notepad down]
Well, I guess Michelle made
Stan g*y.
[police sirens]
Anybody check down that way?
I don't know if they did or not. Probably
not, because I know we've been
handling
this side of the street, so.
Yeah.
[marching]
All right.
We'll get it done.
We'll get it done.
It's just going to be cold.
[laughing]
We're going to be rolling cold.
That's all right. As we get closer,
the temperature turns up, okay?
That's true.
[helicopter sounds]
And he's not putting up hands.
He's looking right, is anyone.
No.
Because we got that
one, and we got that one.
We're going to find this mother
f*ck.
[marching]
[sirens]
I know.
We'll figure it out. We always
do.
We always do. Hey, you know
what?
What?
I'm going with that. We always
do.
We always got it.
There's my partner.
That's right, baby.
[helicopter sounds]
Just try to keep the press
out of our faces, that's all.
Tell me about it.
[marching]
I'm starving. And it's
f*cking freezing out here.
I know. We got to be.
Your wife must be real happy.
Oh, she's ecstatic about it.
Oh, yeah.
She loves the fact that.
Yeah.
I couldn't get a dinner, and
I couldn't do this, and I'm over
here.
Yep.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, do you hear that?
That's the sound.
What's that, my wife leaving me?
No.
Yes, I hear that.
That's the sound of silence,
because I don't have one.
Yeah. How's your boyfriend
doing, anyway?
Yeah. My a*s is exit only, I
told you.
[laughter]
[sirens]
[skid and car crash]
[marching]
Yeah.
Hey, Tom, it's Detective
Harris. How you doing, buddy?
What's up? You got anything yet?
Unfortunately, no. But listen, we've
been kicking down doors from
all over
town, from here to Albany.
Some of the doors are still
unlocked, so just keep your
head up.
All right?
We'll catch this guy. Don't
worry about it.
Well,
stick with it.
I trust you. Keep me informed.
Yeah, okay. Will do.
f*ck.
[loud upbeat music]
[gym sounds]
[Music playing]
Why don't you just take
a picture? It'll last longer.
I would, but I ran out of film.
Yeah, I think I'll just stay a
little bit longer.
I'm not in the mood to talk
right now.
Maybe if I get your
number, we can talk later.
Can you just get the hint? I'm
not interested. Please. Shoo...
Okay. Geez, I'll just work out
over here.
[agressive workout music]
[gym foley]
[punching]
Good.
Good.
How you feeling today?
I'm okay.
You sure? You seem real fixated on
Barbie over there. What's going
on?
Me, obsessed with her? No way.
All right, man. Come on, pay
attention.
Need to get rid of all this
flab you got going on there.
Excuse me?
Yeah, right there. All that anger,
put that into this workout.
Let's go.
Yeah.
So what do you know about
this so-called Barbie wh*re?
Is she some kind of an
actress or something?
I don't know, man. I haven't
spoken to her like that.
I think she's into beauty
contests or something like that.
What?
Oh, what a workout.
Yeah, what a workout. That's
a good workout. Come on.
Come on.
Uh-huh.
I'm over here. Come on.
[punching]
Damn. Come on, man.
f*ck.
My bad. I quit.
[subway sounds]
[suspense music]
[bags rustling]
Hey, hon.
I'm working.
Whatever.
What happened to all the food?
I threw it out.
Threw it out? I just went to
the grocery store yesterday.
That's not my problem, Ted. I
already told you I'm in full
competition.
I had to lose some pounds to
beat that stupid wh*re Barbie.
Who the hell is Barbie?
You know what? I don't care.
You know, there's more than just you
living in this apartment, and I
live off of
food like a normal person.
Ted, I can't have unhealthy
food. I get tempted.
You know me, I get tempted.
You bought too much junk.
I don't buy junk food. You're talking
about grapes and peaches and
pears?
Ted, that is sugar. Sugar!
Okay. What about rice,
potatoes, broccoli?
My God, Ted, that is carbs.
Carbs!
What is wrong with you?
Broccoli, Karen. Don't you think
you're going a little crazy
with this?
You threw away my
beer. You don't even drink.
I know, sweetheart. I
was thinking about you.
Oh, yeah? I think I'm the last person
you're thinking about these
days.
Oh, my God. Ted, can you
just get out of the kitchen?
You're distracting me.
Okay, hon, please tell me,
in this beauty queen lifestyle,
what exactly is a healthy diet?
Hmm?
I'll show you.
You see this right here?
This is water, okay?
This is something you
should be drinking. Okay?
And
you see this right here?
This is a cucumber. Okay? It's
made
out of, I think, 96%
of water, high mineral,
vitamin. It's healthy for the
skin, for the body. Anyway.
I get it.
All right. You get it, okay?
Now, excuse me. Do you mind?
What the f*ck?
No cursing, Ted.
Yes, dear.
b*tch.
[scary music]
[sighs]
Hey, what can I get for you?
Nothing.
Bathrooms are for paying
customers only, lady.
Excuse me.
What?
Fine. Get me a White Claw.
Okay.
Of course my phone's dead.
God.
There you go. It's going to be
eight bucks.
$8 for a White Claw?
And that doesn't include my tip.
Can I borrow your phone? My
phone's dead.
You want to use our phone now?
Yes, I need your phone. It's
an emergency. I have a stalker.
I think it's the guy that's k*lling the
beauty pageant girls, and I
think he's
outside.
What are you,
a beauty pageant person?
Why did you have to say it like
that?
Nothing.
I don't see any stalker.
You didn't even hardly
look. I'm out of here.
Hey, I'm calling the police.
Call them. They're not
going to show up anyway.
[scary music]
[car racing]
[car racing]
[car racing]
[fast chase music]
[car racing]
[panting]
[car racing]
[car hit]
[car skids and crashes]
Oh, it's bad.
[grunting]
[grunting]
Take me to a hospital.
[grunting]
I think I broke my neck.
[grunting]
Don't just stand there, do
something.
Stalker piece of sh*t,
I hope you f*cking die.
[grunting]
[punch]
[creepy music]
[thud]
That's a big book for a little
man.
Oh, yeah?
We'll see who's little when
we're done here, okay?
Yeah, I want my lawyer. You
don't look like him. He's Black.
Yeah.
I think you want to talk
to me instead. Hmm?
No. I don't speak dumb fk.
You don't speak dumb f*ck.
Who are you? Who are you?
Is that you, Ted Mangione?
It's me. I look hot.
You look hot? Any relation to
Luigi?
No.
Mario, though.
Yeah, Mario.
[laughing]
I should've known.
You like that one, huh?
I do. That is good.
You're quick on your feet.
I'm going to ignore that.
How are you on your back, huh?
[laughing]
You are full of jokes.
Yeah. You think those are
funny, huh?
I'm glad you think it's funny,
Ted.
I want my lawyer.
Yeah, I want to be Miss America.
What?
What?
Understand me. We are
going to put you and your wife
in
jail for the rest of your
miserable lives.
No, You got that?
No.
Yeah.
Both of you, gone.
She had nothing to do with this.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, so what you're saying
is you k*lled those beauty
contestants so she could win?
Yes?
All right.
Don't touch her. She's a
sweet, beautiful, innocent soul.
Oh, I'm sure she is. And you would
sign a confession to that, hmm?
You would?
Yeah. I'll admit anything you
want.
I'll admit to the JFK
assassination or.
UFOs or whatever.
All right. Let's not get out of hand,
okay? One thing at a time with
you.
But that sounds good. You know
what?
Why don't you call your lawyer, and
we'll go ahead and work those
details out.
Fine.
I've just got one question for
you.
What kind of f*cked up
human being do you have to be
to k*ll innocent women
so your wife could win a
contest?
A man in love.
[scoffs]
Yeah.
Okay.
[suspense music]
Mm-hmm.
[suspense music]
[phone rings]
[phone rings]
What now? Who the hell is this?
I'm not wearing my glasses.
[phone beep]
Hello?
Hello. You are receiving a collect call
from Ted Mangione, an inmate at
the Bacchus.
Jailhouse. Do you accept the
charges?
Yes, please.
Hey, baby.
I made a huge mistake.
Ted, what did you do?
I did it all for you.
Please, don't be mad at me.
Ted, what did you do?
I just got so crazy and wrapped
up in those damn beauty
contests.
I don't know what to do. I
Ted,
what did you do?
You don't understand. I'm
a man with desires, and I
needed you. I needed
your loving body, and I just
had to do something.
Don't you realize this is all
because I.
Breaking news. The police have
caught Ted Mangione, who is
suspected
of k*lling several beauty
queen contestants in the area.
Ted Mangione was arrested at
11:00 p.m.
last night after one
of his intended victims.
Called the police.
Why, Ted, why?
Mangione has not pleaded, and
his arraignment is on Tuesday.
[suspense music]
[cameras clicking]
Oh my God. What do you
people want? Leave me alone.
Geez. What the heck?
Oh, goodness. What do you
want?
[cameras clicking]
[cameras clicking]
Guys, please, stop. Stop
following me.
Stop harassing me. Give
me some space, please.
[cameras clicking]
Oh my God. Guys, what the hell
is this?
Seriously, stop following me
around. Stop harassing me.
Seriously, give me some space.
Seriously, stop following me.
[action music]
[photographers yelling]
[cameras clicking]
[photographers yelling]
[cameras clicking]
[photographers yelling]
[cameras clicking]
[photographers yelling]
Can you guys get away from
me and stop bothering me?
Seriously, get away from me. Stop
bothering. You, you, you, get
away from me.
What the hell is wrong with you
guys, man? Stop following me.
Why are you guys stalking me?
[cameras clicking]
Well,
get away from me.
[cameras clicking]
Oh,
one second.
[cameras clicking]
[cameras clicking]
Louis Vuitton.
It's a real fur. 10 grand it
cost.
[cameras clicking]
And just like that, our little
lonely Bushwick girl has become
a star,
finding everything she always
wanted.
Finally, to be truly loved
by complete strangers
who never even met her.
She could create her own vision
of a reality of who she wants to
be.
[pensive music]
Honey.
Ted.
It's nice to see you.
How are you, sweetheart?
I'm so surprised you k*lled
those girls.
But I must admit,
I was upset and mad at first,
but
after that, it just turned me
on.
Really?
Yeah, it's like I just can't
believe you did that for me.
Ted, you know I will have won
anyway.
Sure.
It just made me
insane. The whole competition,
and
it made me crazier than even
you.
Oh, excuse me? I don't
think so. I'm not crazy.
You're the one who's behind
bars.
Right.
So, have you seen any big movie
star here?
You know
I heard that Luigi Mangione is
here. Did he say anything about
me?
Why would he say something
about you?
Oh, right.
So, I don't know if you heard,
but I have a couple interviews
next week.
I'm going to go as Miss
Manhattan.
Wait, you're still going
through with that?
Yeah, of course. We talked
about this.
I worked really hard to get
there,
with all this diet that I'm doing,
all these Botox in my face
and...
Well, you know that.
I guess.
Plus sweetheart, I know that you're
going to be seeing me from
prison,
and watch me on the TV and
stuff.
Yeah, we don't get
internet here, so I doubt it.
Oh, really?
Oh, so you're going to miss out
on that.
Anyway, Ted,
you know I love you, baby,
right?
You do?
Yeah, of course. That's
why I married you, silly.
Well, since we're married, we
could probably have a little
conjugal
visit?
[giggles]
Not so fast. Now, remember what
I told you.
Not until I win Miss America.
Sweetheart,
come here, you.
Don't get upset. We can do
this all the way. We're home.
We talked about this. When I win
Miss America, then we could do
all the
crazy stuff, but not
yet, because after Miss.
America, then I have to travel.
You're not winning.
What?
You
will never
win Miss America.
Wait, what are you talking about?
Why are you being so mean?
I didn't k*ll those b*tches
so that you would win.
[laughing]
You're never going to win.
What are you talking about?
I k*lled them.
How could you?
Listen. All right? Just shut up
for once.
I k*lled those women so
that it would scare you off.
So that finally, you'd come home
with your tail between your
legs so I
could get my tail back between
your legs.
Dear,
the fact of the matter is, is
that you are a
c**t.
You are a stone cold,
ugly-hearted,
soulless b*tch of a c**t. And
the absolute
only thing you will ever win,
unless a beauty contest in a
morgue with the rotting
corpses, is queen
b*tch of all the queen b*tches.
That's you.
You know what, Ted? f*ck
you, and don't drop the soap.
I don't have to.
[grunting]
[pensive music]
[crowd sounds]
I need a pair of Nines because I realized
when I was packing today, I
don't own
any.
You can't leave that on.
Because I got rid of all of
them.
"5'2" with platform shoes and
everything.
You just likes short girls.
Hey, guys. How are you?
Hey, Karen.
What the hell are you doing
here?
Oh. Well, hi to you, Spike.
Hi.
How are you?
Oh, yeah.
So, guys, you must be extremely
busy
with all the press outside,
huh? Thanks to me.
Oh.
Here's some new headshots that
I took.
What, this? No, this is
ridiculous.
This look like the AI sh*t.
Um.
I feel like I'm in a Lifetime
movie.
Look at this sh*t.
Well, anyway, so like I was saying,
I was thinking that since the
press
are all outside, they want to
interview me, take pictures of
me.
I was thinking that I come in, right, and
I do like this, like tap dance
like this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Karen. Karen.
You're not in the contest
anymore.
What are you talking
about? What do you mean?
What?
You didn't f*cking tell her.
[glasses on table]
I meant to call her. Okay?
You chick end out.
My telephone wire was all eaten
up, the f*cking rabbit in the
back.
You know how the cat gets with
the.
What's going on here?
[clears throat]
Listen, I'm not leaving this
contest, okay?
I'm going to stay in it. Okay?
Karen, your husband k*lled the
contestants.
Not all of them.
Karen.
Oh my God.
What the f*ck? Really?
Listen, guys. I'm not leaving.
I'm staying here, okay?
And I'm going to be the next
Miss Manhattan. You hear me?
Oh, sh*t, you can forget about
that.
We don't care if your husband
k*lled every contestant from
here to
Florida. You will never be Miss
Manhattan.
That's right.
Oh, really?
Oh, really.
Well, I guess you guys will be hearingPfrom my lawyer. I paid goodpmoney for this.
$20 for this.
Oh, no. You know what? You
can have your $20, big spender.
She lost her mind, man.
Hey, Spike. You got a 20 I can
borrow?
20... Man, sh*t, a 20?
You still owe me $12.50.
Now you talking about some.
Wait, 50 cent. You're
charging me interest now?
50 cent was added to that $20.
Ah, Jesus.
What are you talking about?
Janice, please tell me you
have some money on you.
I'll write you a check, Karen.
Just go.
No, I don't want no check. I am
staying in this contest, and
that's
it, okay? Or I will sue
you, you, and especially
you. Okay?
I'm staying.
Yeah.
How are you going to do that?
You don't have the ba*ls to do
it.
Oh, really?
That's right.
Okay. You'll be hearing
from my lawyer. Okay?
Bye.
You're crazy. She's crazy.
Yeah, really crazy, yeah.
I told you, it's that time of the
month everywhere. Oh, Jesus
Christ.
What are we going to
do about the electric bill?
Huh, you see.
Huh?
You see those pictures?
Yeah.
[pensive music]
[Men yelling]
Well
howdy, Fish.
Are you talking to me?
Well, now, who else would I be
talking to
if it wasn't you,
Fish?
Howdy.
[clears throat]
Hey, Fish.
You a snitch?
Me? No, no, no, no.
I'm not even in the mafia.
Hmm.
You a Chomo, Fish? You a Chomo?
What is that, of a K-pop band?
That's what we call child
molesters around here. You a
Chomo?
No, no, no, no. Not at all.
No way. No way. I like women.
Grown women. Big-breasted
beauty queen women,
okay?
I like women.
Hey, calm down.
Sex with women.
Okay. Calm down.
Jeez.
It's just we got to know
who we're in here with.
You understand, Fish? We got to
know.
What are you reading there,
Fish?
A little bedtime story. Mm-hmm.
What?
Right, I probably can't read. I
get it. It's a book called.
"The vag*na Monologues." It's
literature.
Oh. Oh, Fish.
You're going to do real well around
here, Fish. You're going to do
real well.
[laughing]
I know.
Ah.
This is a book about survival.
Huh.
I plan to squeeze every drip
of knowledge from this vag*na.
Hmm.
Hey, Fish.
Can I take a look at your
vag*na survival book? Can I
take a look?
No. Sorry. It's my vag*na, and.
I wouldn't want you using the vag*na
knowledge against me, so I'm
sorry.
I'm not going to ruin it. I
just need to take a peek.
Get your hands off of my
vag*na, sir.
[scary music]
[stabs and screams]
[stabs and screams]
[stabbing]
[stabs and screams]
[instense music]
[yelling]
[Dialing phone]
[phone ringing]
Hey.
Hey.
I took care of it.
I took care of that thing, okay?
You gonna take care of him now?
You gonna take care of my
cousin?
Don't worry about it. I got it
covered.
All right.
All right.
All right, bye.
[pounds on wall and sighs]
[traffic]
Hey, you are listening
to 98.7 Public Radio,
all the way from Brooklyn, New
York.
We got the best jazz music
in all the five boroughs.
Top of the hour, this is
radio DJ, John Morrow,
the Clifford Algebra
Alpha Man with all the hits.
Top story here, as we reported,
Ted Mangione, the so-called
Beauty Queen Butcher, was found
in
his prison cell stabbed to
death yesterday.
I can't say he didn't deserve
it, ladies and gentlemen.
What a scumbag. Apparently,
the guards found a manifesto in his cellPin which he blamed not havingpsex with his
wife for the reasons he k*lled
the beauty queen contestants.
Now, that is one crazy story.
Mangione's wife is now becoming
quite the
celebrity. I hear they're going
to do
a reality show about her. I
definitely will not be watching
that one, I can tell you that.
Let me ask my audience if not
having sex
with your wife can make you a
m*rder*r, and if so, is she to
blame
for the murders as much as the
husband?
Hey, we got Jared from
Staten Island on the line.
Tell me, Jared, what do you
think?
Hey, John, appreciate you
taking the call.
Yeah, there's no way this broad is
innocent. She's got to be
guilty 100%.
I don't care what your
husband says. This is the girl.
She wanted to be in the contest.
She wanted to be a beauty star,
just like
all these Instagram models and all
these other broads that want to
be famous
instead of taking care of their
husband and staying at home.
You know what I mean? So,
yeah, no, she's totally guilty.
If she didn't hold the girls down,
she talked her husband into it.
Trust me, there's something that's
not going on there. It's not
kosher.
This girl's got to be guilty
100%. And as
far as not putting it out, come on, hePnever should have married herpif that was
the case. So give me
a break. I say give her
the electric chair as well
and fry them both, do a two
for one. You know what I mean?
I don't know if I would go that far, Jared,
but let's get back to playing
the hits.
This one is for you, Mrs.
Mangione, wherever you are.
[music]
[cameras clicking]
Seriously, guys, please leave
me alone.
I can't be doing this every
single day. Please stop.
Leave me alone. Stop harassing
me.
[cameras clicking]
Our little lonely Bushwick girl
fought with all her heart that
played
through the court systems.
Nothing could stop her.
You can't stop the
desire to be truly loved.
People recognized this
and loved her equally.
[gavel]
According to the contracts, there is
nothing preventing a wife of a
serial k*ller
from being in this beauty
pageant.
I hereby grant the plaintiff to continuePin the contest, and she ipawarded $20 in
damages.
[clapping and cheering]
[clapping and cheering]
[clapping and cheering]
Karen, what do you have to
say about the judge's decision?
Karen, will you be
entering the beauty contest?
Hi, guys. Hi.
So guys, thanks for coming to
see me.
All my fans, all my supporters.
Yeah, so shh.
Karen, what type of coat are
you wearing?
No questions. No. No
questions. Please, let me speak.
Karen, what type of.
So follow me on Instagram, follow
me on Facebook, on Twitter, and.
Do you think your supporters
out there
TikTok, and all those other
stuff. Anyway, thank you very
much.
Karen Mangione? Oh my
God, I think that's a disgrace
what happened in that beauty
pageant.
You know...
All that stuff that's going
around in the
world, like the wars,
the crisis, the conflict.
I mean.
She's a horrible person
and they should throw out the
key and lock her
up forever.
Now these people are making
money off of tragedy and
murders.
So I heard that she
made over 100 grand as an
influencer on Instagram, I
think.
She's selling these
ridiculous crime scene kits
so you can find out if your
spouse is k*lling people off,
too.
[in Cantonese] "Smelly Girl".
So, what the f*ck.
Before you know
it, she'll be selling bitcoins
on the internet.
Well, actually, I heard that she is selling
Bitcoin and it's called Karen's
Jewels.
What?
Look at that little girl,
JonBent Ramsey.
She was k*lled because
her mother put her in
pageants? No, that is so wrong.
I think that this should be for
grown-ups, like a person like
Karen, like a woman like her,
that she is the b*mb, okay?
She is the b*mb. And I'm
going to tell you one thing.
Free Karen! Free Karen!
Free Karen! Free Karen!
[celebration music]
[cameras clicking]
So
Karen, this is the first time you're at
the Wet Gala. What do you think
of this?
I'm extremely excited to be
here. Yeah, it's my first time.
I just can't believe all these
people with these beautiful
dresses.
I like that one right there.
No, no. That one. Yeah.
And I almost couldn't
get out the limo with this.
And when you're going to walk down thePred carpet for the very firstptime, what do
you think is going to happen?
Well, I hope I don't trip or embarrasspmyself because getting off the
limo, it took me a while,
you know
with this long dress.
And by the way, the dress is
fantastic. Who's the designer?
Thank you.
The designer is this, I think
it's a guy, a g*y guy or a
girl, I don't know, named
Lima, Limon, something like
that.
And yeah, he or she made
this dress especially for me,
just for me.
And, so yeah, you just look
fantastic. I just want to say
that.
Thank you. So do you. Well,
actually, your tie is a little
bit crooked.
Can I fix it?
No, you can't. Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Final question, what charity
are you here in support of?
[creepy music]
Okay. I don't know how to pronounce
the name because I'm Latina and
I have
a hard time pronouncing things,
or maybe I forgot the name.
But anyway, who cares?
It has something to do with
helping
people that are starving in
Africa and those little poor
countries. I'm sure they care
about fashion too and
everything, but
more about food because
they're starving and stuff.
But anyway, who cares about them?
Keep asking me questions about
my
dress.
[g*nsh*t]
This dress just looks amazing
on me.
You do look fantastic.
Thank you.
[pensive music]
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Can you move
out of the way? Thank you.
Yeah, keep practicing. Because
ya'll girls need it. I sure
don't.
[door opens]
Hey, Barbie. How are you?
Hi, my name is Karen. I don't think
we've been introduced correctly.
Hello, Karen.
Yeah. I wanted to say I'm sorry
that my husband, Ted, tried to
k*ll you. [Laughs]
Well, that was an accident,
right? You didn't mean it.
You had nothing to do with it.
No, no. Of course not. I had nothing
to do with it. Are you crazy?
No.
The only thing that I
will k*ll is competition.
Girl, you are no competition
to me. I am the breadwinner.
I win every competition. So what
are you talking about? You know
what?
You're weird. Get away
from me. So you know what?
Since you think you're competition,
let the best man win, b*tch.
Oh, really? Yeah. Let the
best man win, you b*tch.
What do you think of her? She's
only 5'2".
5'2", well, give her some
platforms.
Hi, guys.
How's it going?
Oh, Jesus.
What do you want, Karen?
Hi, Karen.
Nothing, just to say hi.
Bye.
All
right. I can't believe you.
I'm not doing this.
She is so annoying
[pensive music]
[vomit sounds]
[zip ups purse]
[horror music]
Hello, America. My name
is Karen, and I am here
to represent.
The great state of Montclair,
New Jersey.
The Lower East Side, Manhattan.
Yonkers.
The great district of Queens,
New York.
I am passionate about animals.
Feeding the homeless.
Taking selfies.
Dancing, plastic cards, and
sports.
And posting on Instagram.
One day, I hope to become.
The next Celine Dion.
Miss New York City.
A painter.
A big movie star.
A toll road worker.
My hobbies include ceramics,
painting.
Biking around the country.
Dancing.
Having my nails done.
And martial arts.
I bring a unique perspective to
the stage.
I bring a unique perspective.
And I can bring a unique
perspective
I bring a unique perspective
I bring a unique perspective to
the stage.
I believe that true beauty
lies in embracing our
individuality.
Our individuality.
Embracing in our individuality.
To inspire and uplift others.
I am thrilled to be here today.
And I look forward to sharing
my journey with all of you.
[kisses]
Thank you so much.
[mysterious music]
[traffic]
[celebration music]
That's so good.
Yes?
Stop. Get away from me.
Let me see.
Don't.
Oh.
Don't touch me. No.
Stop hitting me.
I don't like kids.
You like cats.
I can't stand kids.
Mm-hmm.
Stop.
No.
No. Please, don't.
Please.
Please.
What is this place? Gosh.
[children laughing]
Shoo. Shoo.
Oh,
yes.
[country music]
[hospital machines]
[Karen laughing]
My gosh, she's so pathetic.
[Karen laughing]
[old people grunting and
muttering]
[country music]
My God. Why do you old people
always stink? My goodness.
Have you ever heard of a
laundromat? Oh my God.
Every time I look at
you guys, I get so scared.
I go to the doctor to get
more Botox on my face.
Geez, all that wrinkle in your
face.
So beautiful and graceful.
What is it with all the wrinkle?
Do I have any wrinkles?
I didn't even bring a mirror
with me.
Your hair is gorgeous.
My goodness. Can you please
don't get close to me, please?
Your ears.
I don't want your smell on top
of me.
Yes, it's your birthday.
Thank you.
This is a very expensive coat.
Look at that.
No, I don't have any butterscotch in my
purse. Why would I have that
stupid candy?
That's for old people. I don't eat
that. I'm on a diet. Can you
tell?
You know what? I can't deal with
this old people smell. I got to
go.
[country music]
[elderly laughing]
Where are my glasses? Blair,
where are my glasses?
Isn't it so cool when you have no teeth
and you can eat things just
like ice cream?
Have you seen my glasses,
Blair? Where are my glasses?
Oh my God, they're on top
of your f*cking head. Geez.
Where are my glasses?
Have you seen my glasses?
Where are my glasses?
Have you seen my glasses?
Have you seen my glasses?
Blair, I'm looking for my
glasses.
I need my glasses. Can you
help me find my glasses, please?
Hi, Barbie.
Barbie? Excuse me.
I'm busy.
Um...
Can I talk to you for a
couple of minutes, please?
It'll only take two minutes of
your time.
Um
I said I'm busy.
You see, I feel
[quietly] move, get away!
Get out. Get out.
I feel such like a loser.
You're such a pretty woman.
You're always winning first
place.
Because I'm a winner. You're a
loser.
And so.
I someday would like to be like
you.
Well, you can't.
[sighs]
Go away.
Listen to me. I just want to be like
you one day, win first prize,
and I
just wanted some advice if
you could give me some, please.
Just please, it'll take only
two minutes of your time.
Fine. Let's go.
[scary music]
You know, I really don't
have time for this every
single time that I have a
pageant. I have my dress
rehearsal
outfit on. I got to get my dress. I
have people that want to take
my picture.
Every single pageant, you have to botherPme about how you want tips onphow you
can win, but you already
know that I'm going to win.
What are you even looking for?
I'm just looking for the
cameras.
Why would you be looking for
cameras? What is wrong with you?
Really? Yeah, I could do this.
b*tch!
[scream]
[stabs]
[stabs]
[stabs]
[laughing]
May the best man win, b*tch.
Where are my glasses?
They're right here.
You have my glasses?
Yes. Right here. Grab
it. Grab it right there.
Okay.
Okay. And say, "You did
it." You see? You did it.
I did it?
Say, "I did it."
I did it.
Yes. I did it. Say I.
Okay. I did it.
Yes. I did it. Keep saying it.
I did it.
I did it.
I did it. I did it?
I did it.
[screams]
I did it. I did it. I did it.
I did it. I did it.
I did it.
I did it.
[screams]
I did it. I did it.
I did it.
[screams]
I did it.
Oh, I found my glasses.
[screams]
Oh my God. What is that?
Oh my God.
Oh, Lord. Oh, my Lord.
What's going on?
Oh, gee, Beckies.
[screams]
Geez, I hope nothing happened
to Barbie.
[screams]
[dramatic music]
[sirens]
Can you believe this girl died?
Here.
It is a tragedy.
With our pageants.
Mm-hmm.
Horrific.
That's why all them cops is out
there, man.
Hello?
Is this going to affect ticket
sales?
Ticket sales?
Oh, my God. You've got to be
kidding me.
You're worried about ticket
sales if somebody done.
You've got to be freaking
kidding me.
No, I'm not. I'm worried
about the bills around here.
Somebody died.
I understand that, but I
can't afford to pay the light
bill.
Somebody died.
Yes.
They should have took you with
them.
Trust me, they have my
application.
Oh, my God.
They're just not hiring
somebody like me right now at
the
moment.
[sirens]
You look pretty upset about
your friend getting k*lled.
Yeah, it was pretty tragic. I
mean That's why you shouldn't
be hanging out with old people.
Bad things can happen.
That's a good philosophy.
And where were you
when all of this took place?
Um
I was helping this old man to
eat his food.
Actually, there was a lot of
judges there, so I have
witnesses.
Mmm...
Yeah, that's good.
Funny thing about
forensics is that if there's any
fingerprints or hair or skin
under the victim's fingernails,
say, that don't match Louis,
we could probably find some DNA
that will.
Yeah, I know. I've seen those
TV shows, "CSI" and other crime
shows. I know.
Oh. So if there's anything you
want to say, you want to tell
me,
feel free.
Well, your tie is kind of crooked,
and your suit looks kind of
cheap.
Okay. Not what I was thinking,
but
okay.
You know I was the first one that theyPcalled when your husband gopkilled in
prison, right?
Yeah?
Yeah. Apparently, he had
nothing to say.
He certainly didn't have
anything to say about you.
Like, "Tell my wife I loved
her so much," and blah,
blah, blah.
Apparently, he didn't
care what happened to you.
He just cried like a little
b*tch.
You know, this is
f*cking police harassment.
You think this is harassment? I'm
just having a conversation with
a beauty
pageant contestant.
Hmm.
What's the problem?
Should I get a lawyer?
Now, why would you need a
lawyer?
Nice girl like you.
I don't know. You tell
me. You're harassing me.
Oh. Well, then maybe I should
stop.
And maybe you should call a lawyer
if that's what you think you
need.
[sighs]
Well, in the meantime,
good luck in your pageant.
I don't need luck. I am luck.
Hmm.
[suspense music]
[city traffic and crowds]
[cameras clicking]
Oh,
hi, guys. Hi. How are you guys?
Karen, did you k*ll Barbie?
Not this again. I said no
many times. Next question.
Don't you think this is in poor
taste, in competing in this
pageant?
No, I'm extremely proud. Next
question.
You have any type of shame?
Excuse me, but Miss
Manhattan here has no shame.
Okay, you know what? Enough with
the questions. Enough. Enough.
Okay?
I have something to say.
[clears throat]
I'm so grateful for all my fans.
They mean the world to me.
Thank you all for always believing in
me. I couldn't have done this
without you.
Your love and support is
everything, and I really
appreciate you
all so much. I love you
all, even the ugly ones
and the short ones. This is for
them.
[kiss]
Thank you so much.
[cameras clicking]
I got a drunk driver here in
front of me.
I'm going to pull him over and
go ahead and see what's up.
Each side was having
fun. Like he's got some
attitude. I can't take it.
Who does she think she is?
Yeah so...
Excuse me. Excuse
me. The superstar is here.
Hi, guys. Thanks for coming.
How are you?
Hey, guys. How's it going?
Oh, hey, Karen.
Well, ain't you guys going to
wish me luck?
Honestly, Karen, I can't
wait till this pageant's over.
Yeah.
That's not very positive.
Hey, where's that guy, Steve
Harvey?
[laughing]
Steve Harvey won't be
found at this dumpster fire.
Hmm.
Man.
Oh, is this my crown?
Oh.
Yeah. Put this away where
the vultures don't get to it.
Like I don't, I
don't get it.
[all girls hussing]
I know you girls are talking
crap about me,
but I have one question for each one
of you. Who's coming in second
place?
Excuse me.
[celebration music]
[marching]
f*cking beauty pageants.
Welcome, everyone.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
And we're so excited to
have you all join us today.
Janice, how are you feeling
today?
I'm feeling fabulous.
She's feeling fabulous. And
Spike, how you doing today?
I'm feeling great.
And you know why we're feeling
great?
We are all feeling great
because of the Mrs.
Manhattan contest. Everybody,
yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have been so excited.
We've been waiting.
We've been anxiety-ridden, just
filtering all these beautiful
contestants.
They have been coming in
in swarms, let me tell you, from
all the way around the block.
Yes.
Isn't that correct, Janice?
That is correct.
Are they some of your friends
or no?
Some of my friends?
Oh, that's good. Let's just get it rightPthere because that woulpdisqualify
us. Hey, Spike, you got any
friends participating in this
contest?
Oh, yes, I do. Sure do.
Yeah, you do?
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Well,
why don't you introduce
us later, all right?
So thank you all for
coming. And please enjoy.
This is going to be a great
show. It's going to be packed.
[clapping and cheers]
Can we just f*cking
hurry up with this, please?
Because obviously, this is no
contest.
[gasps]
Well.
Some nerve. Anyway, like I
was saying, thank you all for
coming, and enjoy the show.
So ladies and gentlemen, we
have now reached the portion
of the show where we get to
see and know a little bit
more about their beautiful
personalities. Karen,
this question is for you.
How did you prepare for the
contest?
Hi. So I spent a lot of time
at the gym working out on
these.
Check them out.
[laughing]
All right.
And now
for you, Mary Jo Beth,
same question.
I faced a lot of bullying in middle
school and even thought about
becoming
homeschooled.
At first, it was very hard on me
mentally, and I developed some
anxiety. I have found that
my relationship with myself
and God is what's most
important, and not others'
opinion of
me. Loving myself and all of
my flaws has allowed me to
grow my confidence back. Competing
in pageants has also helped me
to
overcome the public speaking
and social anxiety I have had
in the
past. I'm ready to face situations
with clear confidence and
stand grounded for what I
believe in now.
I feel more empowered
after competing on stage.
It's a space for women to
become their best selves and be
in a
community filled with ambitious
women.
[clapping and cheers]
Everybody, round of applause
for Mary.
And this concludes
this portion of the show.
And without further ado, we
are moving on to now the next
section, talent show.
Yes!
[scary music]
[thumping hammer]
Mary Jo, I just wanted to
tell you that was so sweet.
[crunch]
[crunch]
[stabs]
And let's see, ladies and
gentlemen,
the moment you've been waiting
for.
We have now arrived at the portion of
the show where we get to see
the girls'
talents. Our first contestant
for this segment is Miss.
Sapphire. Please, round of
applause for Miss Sapphire. Yes.
[applause]
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to New
York. Happy
birthday to you.
[applause]
Yes. Thank you. Oh, yes.
Oh, round of applause for.
Sapphire. What a voice of an
angel you
have. Do you have wings
that go with that, too?
Everybody, thank you so
much. That was Miss Sapphire.
[scary music]
[applause]
Hey.
Hey.
I just wanted to tell you that you have
a beautiful voice. You sang
pretty good.
Oh, thank you. You're so kind.
Yeah I am!
[stabs]
[laughs]
Got your vocal cords now. b*tch!,
you can't sing no more, right?
[cutting]
[cutting]
[cutting]
[cutting]
[flute playing]
[scary music]
[crack]
[flute playing]
[classical dance music]
[screaming]
[cutting]
[cutting]
[cutting]
[cutting]
[scary music]
Hey, Donna. Thanks. You
have such beautiful hair.
Oh, why, thank you.
Oh, are you doing a
Halloween thing for tomorrow's
talent?
Uh...
Yeah, a Halloween thing.
Um...
Can I borrow your brush for
a second? Oh, sure. Hmm.
[screams]
And welcome back, ladies and
gentlemen.
We are back, back, back
to our beautiful contest.
How's everybody feeling so
far about what we have seen?
It's beautiful. It's gorgeous.
Wonderful. So many talented
young ladies.
They are so talented. I think
they've all come from Heaven.
One or two from down below-...
but hey, not that down below.
But yeah, that's a different
show.
Anyway, we have come to the
part of the contest where they
get to
show some really,
really, really illusional stuff.
It's called The Magic Act.
[buzzsaw]
[scary music]
Hi.
Hello.
Abracadabra.
[blade slashes]
[screams]
Whoa!
[screams]
[screams]
[screams]
Spike, Spike.
Yeah.
Please.
Yeah, it's broken.
Yo, tell me that this is part
of the show.
I don't see how it could have
worked. I mean, come on.
Dude, did you hire somebody
to do this? Look at the f*cking
blood?
You
know that guy that does
pyrotechnics up in
I don't know the guy.
No, this is part.
We've got to call somebody.
Call somebody? Who? Let me ask
you, Spike. Spike, you're so
smart.
Okay, here, do you know? Who are
we supposed to call,
Ghostbusters?
Because we're busted
after this if it's real.
I
Look, the exit. They're leaving. Come
on. Please. Go close the door.
Go close the door.
[panic crowd]
Yeah. This place really is... You
got asbestos all over the place,
really. It should've been
cleaned up years ago.
I don't know, what do
you want to do? Nothing?
Okay. Well, at least maybe
give a refund on half the
tickets, something like that?
Oh, wow. I think you have
a bloody nose or something.
Anyway, so I'm thinking
if we could get the.
[screams]
Okay, let's move.
[scary music]
Come on, ladies. Come on.
Let's go to the stage. Everyone.
Yes, yes
up to the stage. They
want you to the stage.
Oh.
Let's give them something.
that they'll remember you by.
Everybody, this is your moment
to shine.
Oh, yeah.
This is your grand finale.
Whoo.
Oh, yeah. Come right on in. Yes.
Let's do it.
Oh, yeah. Let her know.
Yes, Stan, the great finale. Oh.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Janice? Hold on. Wait,
wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait.
[screams]
Oh.
Oh my God. Listen, listen.
Oh.
Like, see this? This.
Oh.
Listen, listen, listen. We can
fix this up.
Somehow, some way, we can
fix this. Shh. I never liked
you.
Okay, but we can fix this.
Oh.
Oh my God.
Oh, sh*t. No, no. Wait, wait,
wait, wait. Karen. Karen, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, you.
No, wait, Karen, Karen. Wait.
Shh
are saving the best for last.
Wait.
You won.
I did?
Yes, you won.
I did?
Yes. Mrs. Yonkers, Mrs.
Manhattan. I'll make you Mrs.
New York for the next 10 years. You got
the crown, you got the flowers,
you got it
all. Just let me make some
phone calls.
Where's my flowers?
I'll make you... They're outside. I
promise you, I will make some
calls.
I'll make you the Mrs. New York.
Mm.
No, no. Ah.
[screams]
You...
[body falls]
[sirens]
[classical music]
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[stabbing]
[stabbing]
[kisses]
[kisses]
[stabbing]
[stabbing]
[stabbing]
[g*ns clicking]
Thank you,
everyone. Thank you everyone
for coming.
Thank you to my fans,
my hater, my ex-lover, my
ex-boyfriend. Thank.
Ma'am, you are being placed
under.
Please follow me. Shh.
Let me finish my speech.
You have the right to remain
silent.
Please follow me on Instagram.
Anything you do or say can be
held against you in a court of
law.
Follow me on Facebook. Follow me
on Twitter. Can I finish my
speech?
You have the right to an
attorney.
Follow me on Instagram, guys.
If you cannot afford an attorney,
one will be provided for you.
[sirens]
[sad music]
And so, our story ends.
The little lonely Bushwick girl
found love.
Unfortunately, she had
no idea what to do with it.
So now she wanders to
find the true meaning of life.
Like the starving New York
artist who can't afford rent,
she will
wander, and wander, and
wander, and maybe she
will find a home and be truly
happy for
once.
[sad music]
[toilet splash]
Winning the beauty pageant is a
great achievement for me,
and I would thank God for the
honor, thank
everyone who supported me,
thank all who
believed in me, and
helped me in completing my
dream. Thank the judges, the
sponsors, and
the panel. I think title come
with great big
responsibility. So I will
like to do something for the
nation, and that will
be ideal for everyone.
And winning the crown is
not the end of my career,
but the beginning.
[sad music]
What is this, man? I asked
for sparkling water. Hello?
What the heck?
Oh, excuse me, is this MAC
makeup? Because I only wear MAC.
I don't want my face breaking
out. What kind of makeup is
this?
Oh, excuse me, sir, I have a
question before the interview
start.
Do you think that guy, what's
his name again? I forgot his
name.
The Black guy, Kanye
West, something like that.
You think he's going to watch
this?
Because I want him to make me
famous like he did to Taylor
Swift.
Kanye West.
Oh, okay. That's his name?
Geez, what the heck, man?
Yeah, show him. He's
going to watch this, right?
Okay, good. Just wanted to know.
Oh my God.
Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with
you? Can you move out of my
way, please?
We're going on in five, four,
three,
two,
one.
Hi, my name is Karen Mangione.
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Karen the Beauty Queen Butcher (2026)
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