I want to be the greatest. Everybody [music] on the fake [ __ ] I look around, I feel like everybody is the fakest. I make this every day and I'm impatient.
Hoping [music] one day I blow up from the basement statement. The top is so sharing.
[singing]
Open your legs up for me. [laughter] Wider like that. Back down.
Are you sure you're ready for me to take your virginity?
This is the only thing I've ever wanted in my whole life. I only want you.
Your brother is going to k*ll me, but I don't care.
You're all I've ever wanted. This could be hard.
That's how Brett Harrison, the star quarterback, my brother's best friend, claimed my soul, my body, and my virginity on my 18th birthday in my
fantasy. Anyway, Brett has been the leading man of my smut fanfic for a year. In reality, he's completely out of
my league. It's pure tragic. Not only is he the star quarterback, but he's also my brother's best friend. So to him, I'm [clears throat] just a little sister.
Oh [ __ ] Dumb a*s. Stupid. Stupid.
Stupid. [sighs and gasps] Pay attention to what you're doing. Could have been really bad.
Oh my god. What? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Oh my god.
Tell me I didn't just send Brett Harrison a 4,000word pure smut starring him.
All right. Welcome to the kingdom, Alley. You can crash here when I'm off at the league this year.
This is awesome. I mean, finally. No rules, no parents, and best of all, there's no you. But you
are welcome to my housewarming party tonight. But bring something.
Not so fast. You're not staying here alone. I got you a roommate. And he's going to keep an eye on you.
What? A roommate? No, I'm an adult. I don't need a babysitter, Mom.
No. No. You're a big baby [music] and you know it. Okay, fine. Who is it?
[music]
I'm a clock [music] second.
[music]
Hey Roomie, it's been a while. You've uh definitely [music] grown up.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. I'm living with Brett Harrison. The same Brett Harrison I accidentally emailed a 10-page sch smut about us.
Uh Ellie, my eyes are up here. Wait, Alex. No, Ally, quit drooling. Come on, that's gross. I I wasn't I wouldn't call it drooling.
I would say it's zoning out.
Uh-huh. And dude, you got to start wearing a shirt and put some actual pants on. You can't go commando in front of my little sister. Yeah, just get out of the shower.
I don't care, man. All right. You're on watch duty now. You got to keep the horny jacks away from her. Okay. And remember, most important part, bro code.
We don't mess with each other's sisters.
Ron, I don't want to sleep with you, Ron. Catch you later. Okay. [ __ ] yeah. All right. Catch you after practice. Okay. All right. Later, buddy.
[sighs and gasps]
You know, I don't think that I'm the one having a hard time keeping it in my pants.
Hey. Hey, reminds me. Have Have you gotten any weird emails from me?
I don't know. Why don't you uh define weird? It's like a a virus maybe or
scam, bug, like anything like that. It's sometimes they have files that like will give you a virus if you open it. So, you
just don't want to open it. And if you see anything from me, you should just delete it right away and don't ever look at it.
Yeah, right. A virus just happened to write 10 pages of smut about us having sex. That's a bummer.
Yeah. No, I've been uh you know at a training camp the last like two weeks. So I and he signal.
So he hasn't seen it. I'm safe. Why? What's on the email?
Why? What's in the email? Anything uh scandalous or inappropriate? Anything I should uh know about? Nothing.
Nothing. Because you know like I am going to be looking after you now. I made a promise to Ron. So uh if there's anything I need to know about, you should uh tell me.
Nope. Nothing. Nothing scandalous. I I'm going to go. Actually, I have to go. Oh, good to see you.
Okay, [sighs] deep breath. This is my year. New city, new school. I'm going to make this squad. And I'm not going to think about
Brett's stupid perfect abs.
[music]
[music]
What is a [music] size eight doing in my locker room? Uh, more like a 12.
Hi. Um, I'm Allison. I would really love to be on your cheerleading team. [music] Sweetie, cheerleaders need to be
liftable and more delicate. You know what I mean?
Uh, but I was captain of my high school team and I run really fast.
Okay. You want a shot? [music] But you have to prove you have guts first. Okay. Yeah, I'll do anything.
Go talk to the football captain. If he's okay with someone your size on his sidelines, then I'm fine with it.
Sure. Yeah. Um, where is he? He's in a team meeting down the hallway.
Third door on the left. and just barge in. Be aggressive. He loves that.
Wish me luck. [clears throat] Oh, I can't with these delusional
virgins. She seriously thinks she can just talk to the king of the campus. Brett's going to eat her alive.
Third door, meeting [sighs] room. Show him aggression. I got this.
[music]
Oh my god. Oh my god.
You uh lost baby girl cuz uh you just come here for a show. We lost again. We still got to start.
[laughter]
Hope you brought your meat pads, virgin. No. No. Don't be shy, baby. Turn around.
Whoa.
[laughter]
Look, I I'm here in official business, okay? I just I need to see the captain.
Actually, uh I have a captain right here. Were you needing a salute?
[laughter]
Back off.
Like it's delirium. [music] Like it's delirium.
I got the like [music] it's delirium. She just want to bounce to it, baby. Get your giddy on.
Walk up to the stage with a drink [music] like I'm giving you. But I never came here to sing what I'm You looking for me?
What do you think you're doing in the boys's locker room? Brett? He's the football captain? Of course he is. Who else could it be?
Look, I need to ask you something.
You know, you have a habit of walking in on me when I'm half naked.
Brett, this is serious. Okay, the girls on the cheerleading team said that I need to ask your permission to be put on the squad.
Elsen, I think these girls are messing with you. I'm the captain of the team, but it doesn't mean I just signed the roster the coasters at.
Oh my god, sir. Uh, [sighs] I I have to go.
Cool it down, sweetheart. You look thirsty. [laughter]
[laughter]
Hey. Well, great. Well, you guys are going to be running laps and you [ __ ] puke. Put it down.
[sighs]
Let's get you out of here. I don't want to see you like this. It's okay. I can just go out.
[music]
I finally did it. The thing I fantasized about since I was 12 years old. I kissed my brother's best friend and holy hell,
it felt good. [laughter] The captain just got sacked by the team version. [laughter] Touchdown.
I slept.
[laughter]
And you guys are benched. It's just a joke. Seriously, just got staged by the tick version.
[laughter]
Oh, look. It's a kisser in the men's shower. Allison unhinged. Does he kiss as good as he left?
k*ll me now. What are you doing here?
I'm here to pick you up, obviously.
Didn't your practice end like 4 hours ago? Yes, it did. You've just been waiting.
Yeah. And uh whose [clears throat] fault is that? I messaged you.
Oh crap. I blocked him the second I hit send on that smut. I was dying of embarrassment. I must have missed your message. Sorry.
Missed my messenger?
You know, I don't think so. I think I've been blocked for a month. Why? Okay, come on.
What? Just give it back. Whatever you Hold on. You're texting Chad?
I've been blocked for a month, but you're texting Chad at midnight. You know, Chad is a walking SGD. He sleeps with everything that moves. Are you Are you into that?
We're doing a school project together. Ah, school project. Yes.
You know, Chad is definitely known for his academic passion. So, Well, it's the truth. So, can you just give me my phone back, please?
Hold on. Let me do something really quick. What are you doing? There you go. Chad is deleted. What? What? Stop. 30.
That's not cool. You can't do that. That's not fair.
Uh, yes it is. Cuz listen, you're my business now. So, right now, I want you to open your phone.
I said take your phone up. Cool. Do what?
Now, I want you to uh end my contact to the top. [sighs]
[sighs]
Keep it cool, Allison. Act like you've been in a car before. This is literally my fanfic.
The car, the moonlit night, and the brooding quarterback. I'm going to spontaneously come bust.
You sure you want me to take a chance? This is all I've ever wanted.
My whole life. I only have ever wanted you. Aaron?
Yes. I need a little bit of air. It's It's really hot in here. I shouldn't mess with her like this. Ron is going to k*ll me, but she's too cute.
No, I just Oh my god. Even my stories didn't go
that far. I mean, if we actually have sex in real life, would I even survive that? You have double XL condoms or you don't test those for grown-ups.
Do you actually use those?
Yeah, thank you for There's no way. That's like a sleeping bag.
Wouldn't you like to know?
Yeah. Well, you're the one leaving your stash out in the open. So, yeah. You're the one who tackled me in the boy's locker room. You kissed me back.
You basically attacked me. I was just trying not to crack my head against the floor.
Pathetic. I'm actually pathetic. I thought he kissed me back. I'm such an idiot. Forget I said anything.
Laura, why don't we talk about something that matters? Now that you're my responsibility, we're going to sit in some new grounds. Excuse me.
There's going to be a 900 p.m. curfew.
No parties, no frat boys, and you're going to share your live location with me for the time. Are you insane? Who do you think you are? My father?
I'm your roommate and I'm also your brother's best friend. [music] So, he does just see me as a liability.
Yeah, we're roommates. That means we're equals.
That means you don't get to tell me what to do. So, you're forgetting the point where I said that I am your brother's best friend, and Ryan's already given me
permission to boss you around and do whatever I want you to do to make sure that you're safe.
Why don't you consider me your brother, Promax?
Nope. Definitely not thinking of him as a brother extra large. No, prom. Not when he looks like that.
Quit him. Yeah, cuz this whole thing is ridiculous. First you delete my
friend's number from my phone. Now you're trying to talk to me about curfews and what parties I can go to.
You don't get Tell me about them. I'm not your prisoner. You don't control what I do.
[music]
[music]
[music]
Freshman initiation party tonight at Club Vibe. Fetish/ lingerie dress code mandatory for all wannabe cheerleaders.
Lingerie? Seriously? [sighs] But if I don't go, it'll be social suicide and I'll never make the squad. I am not letting Rita win.
I'm your roommate and I'm also your brother's best friend.
Since that's all he wants to be, a roommate. my brother's best friend.
Screw him. I don't take orders from those.
[music]
Are you ready for this ride? Come on.
Get it up. Get it up. Let's go. Get your body on the dance floor. Boy, you know I got
[music]
Oh my god. Did you actually show up in lingerie?
Look everyone, the strippers arrived.
Let's all give little Miss Hooker a round of applause for being tonight's entertainment.
Thanks. At least I don't look so ordinary.
You spent so much of your life trying to embarrass me. I'm starting to think you have a crush, Rita.
Now, are we going to have some fun, or is everyone just going to stand around taking pictures of me all night?
Turn the music up. Let's play a game.
[laughter]
right now.
I dare you to call a guy and get him to come here and make out with you right now.
I don't have any guy friends here. Chad is deleted and I can't call Brett. What's the matter? No guys want you?
Tik Tok sweetie.
She's stalling. She doesn't have anyone to call.
You can't get a guy. You dress like a hooker. You flash your t*ts and a single man wants to claim you.
Just give me a second.
Hey, Alison. Yeah, I
[clears throat]
that is punishment for wasting your time since you're so thirsty. Lick it up.
Lick it up.
[laughter]
Brett, what's up? Where are you? I'm at Club Vibe. I um I lost a dare.
Yeah, what kind of a dare?
I need a man to claim me in front of everyone.
Alison, are you asking me to go to a club after I told you that I didn't think it was a good idea for you to go out tonight? Come on, Brett. Please, this is serious.
Can you just come get me?
No. Allison, you know what? You wanted to break the rules. You enjoy your night.
Brett, please get How dare you even think of Brett? He'd rather die than be a [ __ ] like you. You
literally stalked him into the men's showers. I'm surprised he hasn't signed a restraining order yet.
[laughter]
Where do you think you're going? Grab her. What? No. Get off of me. You lost the dare. You pay the price.
You need to loosen up. You couldn't get Brett to touch you. That's fine. We'll help you lower your standards.
No.
[laughter]
What was that?
Oh, Jason here has volunteered to help you finish her dare.
Please. Come [laughter] on, sweetheart. A dare is a dare. Stop fighting.
[laughter]
I'm doing you a favor. Taking that B card off your a*s.
Please, please [laughter] stop. getting this. That's what gets views.
Hey, [ __ ]
[music]
[laughter]
Don't you ever put your hands on my girl again.
[music]
Brett, this is a total overreaction.
Jason, Ally, were just having fun together. I mean, look at how she's dressed. She's practically begging for it.
You know, I better not see any videos of this online or else you are done. And that goes for everybody. I don't want to see one picture of one video. Does everybody understand that?
Great. Well, then delete him right now. Yep.
You okay? Come on. Let's go.
Hey. Hey. What do you think you're doing? Huh? Sneaking out. Going to a place like this would have happened if I had shown up. Huh?
What did you mean back there?
Back where you told everyone that I'm your girl.
The literal meaning. I completely lost it when that piece of [ __ ] was touching you. I told Ron that I was going to protect you. And that's exactly what I'm doing.
Yeah. I know cuz I'm just Ron's little sister. Huh? Always causing trouble.
Just put this on. [snorts] Happy? Yeah.
Well, you know what? I don't think it's a good idea for you to be going anywhere dressed like this. Like I'm desperate. Oh, that's not true. I know. Okay, I'm a total joke.
You're trying to impress people that don't matter. Okay, these people are not your friends and you're lowering your standards. You don't know. I know. Obviously, I know Rita's not my friend, and I know that I'm a
pathetic loser, and I know that I'm not good enough for you.
That's not true. [sighs] [ __ ] Rita, and [ __ ] everybody.
I think you're perfect just the way that you are.
I don't want to be me, okay? I want to be liked. I want to be wanted. And I want someone who will answer when I call them.
I'll always answer when you come. I'll always be there.
So, what does that mean? What does that mean for us? What am I to you, Brett?
I'm losing my mind. I know the rules, but look at her. All I can think just this once.
What? Say it. Just say it.
I'm really trying not to get you hurt in all this. Cuz I'm just Ron's little sister.
[clears throat]
No. It's the only reason you look at me. Huh? That is not true.
Then tell me that you don't feel anything when you look at me. Tell me there's nothing happening right now. I can't.
You can't actually do anything about it either. See, you know what? Just forget it. Forget I said anything.
I'm done begging you. I'm done. No. Alison. Alison, stop it.
Alison, there is a line that I am trying to not cross. Why?
Because if I do, I won't be able to stop. He says that you have to stop.
Please don't stop. [sighs]
[sighs]
[panting]
What are you doing, bro? Running everything. [laughter]
Yo, what's up, loser? Ally, are are you with Brett right now?
Swear to God, guys. What are you doing right now? Talk to me. I facetimed Ron.
What is he doing? Is he seriously going to kiss me in front of Ron?
[gasps]
Yeah, your eyes are super red. Hey, Ron. What's up, man?
Ally called me dumbass and I didn't sign up to see your face 2 in away from hers.
So, you guys better have a good a*s explanation right now or I'm going to come over there and beat your a*s. It's It was an accident, okay? We just I butt
dialed you. We went to the freshman party and and I was leaving and something got in my eye and so Brett was
helping me and I was holding the flashlight. Okay, chill. Really?
Yeah. Look, it's really dry. Okay. My eye is like dying.
All right, Brett. If that's true, you guys got to take her to, I don't know, like an urgent care right now or something. I need you to take care of that.
I was uh I was going to right after. I got it. Peace. Bye.
Oh my god, [sighs] that was really, really close. Hey, what's up?
What's going on? We should You forgot something. No, it's late. Come on. You almost kissed me.
Hey, Alison, stop.
Quit acting so childish.
You know the only thing that I need to quit is you.
All right, ladies. Physical assessments today. Allison, you're up first.
[music]
[music]
Heat.
[music]
Hey, Heat.
[music]
Damn, Alison, I see you.
Hey, looking flexible, Allison can wrap those legs around my shoulders any day.
Baby, shut up.
Hey. Uh, hey, watch it. What's your problem? Huh?
Partner up. Stretching drills.
Solo, Allison, let me help. I'm real hands on. I'm okay.
Come on. It'll be fine. I promise.
Look, Chad, you're really Oh, she's with me.
I'm not with anyone. Um, I don't need rescuing. So, that's right. Just need to keep her bread.
Choose me.
[music]
Walk away, Chad. Right now. Whatever, man. You're a loss.
[music]
What are you doing? What? Are you jealous or something? No, I'm not jealous. What was that?
I promised Ron that I would take care of you. Keeping the vultures away. Just doing my job.
First exercise, partner sit-ups. All right, come on. You first.
Let's go. We don't have all day. You ready, Ricky?
I'm trying to detox Brett, but how am I supposed to do that if he's everywhere? Let's go. We don't have all day.
You want to play? Fine, let's play.
[music]
[music]
I've been going out of my way for us and I'm not [music] okay.
What do you think? I'm not doing anything.
Stop it. [music] Your turn. [music]
Every day I've been out praying my baby [singing] not hurt. Hey, all of the work that [music] we do, I promise it's worth
[music]
whenever you're ready. She's trying to k*ll me. And it's working.
[music]
She's your best friend, sister. It's the forbidden fruit going to m*rder me. [music]
[singing]
[singing]
What the [music] hell am I doing? You okay, bro? And done, Alison. You k*lled it today.
You're going to be our lead flyer in the next game. Really? Wow. Thank you.
Congratulations. Uh, quit flirting, you two.
Get off me.
Oh my god.
[laughter]
Oh god. Um, no problem. Can you please get me a paper towel?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Here. Thank you. Jesus. I'm so sorry. It's fine. Okay. Brain bleach. I need brain bleach.
But Damn it. [clears throat] How do I unsee that? How do I stop my heart from kicking its way out of my chest?
Okay, it's fine. Just It's okay. Just forget it. Okay. I'm doing laundry on you. I'm sorry I spilled milk on you. I um didn't
you know you're not really wearing any clothes and it and neither are you. You're just as dressed as I am. You're wearing shorts and nothing else and you're not looking where you're going.
No. Okay. I said I was sorry. All right.
Listen, I just Why are you still here?
Why wouldn't I be here? This is my morning routine. I know, but it's 8:30.
Isn't the whole tear squad supposed to be meeting today at 7:00 for like a hair and makeup thing?
What? Nobody told me that. How Oh my god, she's going to k*ll me. Hey, this is how I'm going to get kicked off the team. She's going to She's going to
k*ll me because I'm late for her first performance. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'll Okay, thank you.
[music]
Got all your stuff? Yeah. Um, I have to go. Okay. Thanks.
Bye. [music] Did you just see that? That rookie just
rolled up with Brett Harrison and she was in the shotgun. He never lets any girl sit there. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Nobody takes Brett from me.
Hey. Uh, sorry I'm late. I didn't know the call time was 7 a.m. Don't make excuses. Scott, late is late.
You're just too lazy.
[music]
Hey, what's your problem?
My problem is you dragging the whole team down. It's the first game and you can't even be on time. [laughter] Like I said, nobody could.
No. Hey, stop. [gasps] Are you crazy?
Consider this a lesson to understand punctuality. Stop.
You want to fight? I'll give you a reason. [laughter] Hey. Hey. What are you doing? What do
you think you're doing? Huh? Get your hands off. This is the girl's locker room. Cool. Get out.
Get out of here. All of you, get out of here right now. Did you hear me? Get out.
[music]
You okay? [sighs and gasps] It's fine.
I just can't go out there like this. So, I'm just going to have to tell Coach that I'm sick or something.
It's going to be okay. We have enough time. Trust me.
Hi. Hello. Listen, I need you to go to the school and I need you to meet me in the women's locker room. right now.
All right. Hey, listen. Here's my jersey. You look better than the original. [music]
Yeah. I'm so [music] fresh like the morning. Bounce wide open like the yarn.
Every time they see me, they in G-shomie. This is too far. Homie, I feel too alive. [music] You can't see me like a luminite.
You can see me like a luminite, but I'm shining [music] so bright, so bright. Don't come and try to ship.
[music]
Wait a minute. I like you. Got to make sure you know how to shake it. Shake it like a [music] bartender.
She looks
[music]
Look at you. You look uh look fantastic.
You know, I think you look better in that jersey than I ever did.
It's cuz you've never had to wear eyeliner.
You know, that's true. That's That's true. I have.
Hey, are you sure it's okay that we cut up your jersey right before the game?
Yeah. You're the only thing here that matters to me. Really? To you as as your best friend's sister?
Of course.
As more than just a friend's sister. All right, time's ticking. Let's move.
Allison, I don't know whatever this look is, but it works. You take center. Let's go.
Okay. Hey, uh,
[music]
break the lake.
[music]
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our State University cheerleading squad.
Okay. 1 2 3 go.
Shout out loud. Uh-huh. [music] Uh-huh. Oh yeah.
Oh [music] yeah.
Who is that girl? She's on fire. That's Allison Scott know she had moves.
Allison is seriously so hot. I mean, damn. I'm definitely making my move after the game tonight. Body in that uniform. Woo! She getting lucky tonight.
Stay away from me.
I don't have to. See, girls like that, they always come running to guys like me. I'm telling you right now, if you don't off, the only thing that's going to be chasing you is my fist.
[cheering]
He's on the 30 yd line. The 20, the 10.
[cheering]
Touchdown. Batt Harrison does it again.
State wins here.
Hey. Oh, congrats on the win, Captain. That was really good.
Thank you. You know, it's [music] uh it's really just another Tuesday for me. Okay, shut up.
You okay?
Kiss kiss. [screaming] Kiss.
Oh my god.
Is he actually going to kiss me
[cheering]
in front of the entire stadium? Kiss.
[screaming]
Now we got ourselves a good old Kiss Cam standoff. I haven't seen one of these in years. juice.
Come on, Alison. Let's give the people what they want.
I know I shouldn't kiss my brother's best friend, but I want it.
No. Wait, what?
I can't believe this is happening. Kiss cam. Me and Brett.
[cheering]
Alison, don't pass out.
[singing and music]
Thanks for keeping Chad at bay. No problem.
[panting]
This is insane. I shouldn't kiss my best friend's sister, but it feels so right.
I never want it to end.
Harrison, what the hell do you think you're doing kissing my sister in front of the entire school?
Ron, just calm down. Okay. You're making a scene. I'm making a scene. Yeah.
I'm making a scene. You two were swallowing each other's faces on the jumbotron. Stop being like this. Okay.
Are you serious right now? If I hadn't stepped in, you two would have needed to get a rope. You're unbelievable.
I hate you, [panting] dude. I'm No, no, no. You cut the crap.
You tell me right now what's happening between you two. I I I promise. Do not [ __ ] me. Do not [ __ ] me. Absolutely nothing. I'm I'm I'm serious.
Nothing lying. I saw the way you kissed her.
Okay. She is not another one of your conquests. I know that.
So, you stay in your lane because she is my sister and I'm warning you. You do not cross me. You do not.
I promise, dude.
[sighs and gasps] Okay. Hey, we need to talk. No, I sound like a mom.
This is ridiculous. Why am I texting him? He's literally in the next room.
You know what? Just go in there. Just ask him. Hey Brett, what the hell was that kiss? He kissed me back. He can't
deny it this time. It's recorded and live stream. Okay, do or die.
[music]
What are you doing?
Getting groceries. What do you think I'm doing? I'm taking a hot bath. Well, I think you should do something else.
I think this hot tub is big enough for both of us. She has no idea what she's doing to me.
Brett, what happened at the kiss cam today? I know you didn't hate it. Oh, I can't talk about the kiss cam.
Why you can't talk about the kiss cam? Like, are you that much of a coward?
You know what? I'm not talking about the kiss cam thing because there's nothing to talk about.
It was a kiss cam at a game and we did it. You want to get real, Ellie? The fun's over. It's finished. Do you understand?
Don't you dare. No. Don't you dare look like that. I'm not doing it.
No. No. No. That's not fair. Okay. Do you think I'm trying to be a jerk? You think I'm trying to be an [ __ ] Don't you understand how hard you're making this for me? You're coming in here in your bikini, huh?
Yeah. I don't Mr. J. I'm not doing anything. Yes, you are.
You know what? Even if I was, I guess I'm just playing into the game cuz that's all this is. Yeah. Mhm.
Okay. So then earlier I should have kissed Chad. I had two options. You and him. And I picked wrong.
Don't say stupid [ __ ] like that. Ellie, Chad's a predator and a loser. And you do deserve somebody a lot better than that. Okay.
Oh, is he hard?
Well, at least Chad is honest about what he wants. You don't think I'm being honest?
Well, it's getting hot here. You know, biology. [sighs] Whether it's biology or not, I'm the one who's causing it.
Alli Brett, you guys out here?
What the is he doing here? You have to get out.
I can't get out. If I get out, he's going to see me with my flag. He's going to k*ll me.
Okay. Well, yeah, he definitely can't see us like this. So, I I'm going to get out. Ally. Hey. Oh my god. He's telling.
Ally. Hey. Just get under. Get under. What? Brett. Ally.
Hi. Shut alone. Yeah, but I'm naked. Okay. Get out.
You're You're not though.
Okay. Well, I also have a vibe and you're ruining it. So, I'm sorry. I just I wanted to get my charger. I left it out here yesterday.
You got it. So, I also wanted to say that I think you did a great job today.
I mean it. You kicked a*s. And I'm sorry that I was a an [ __ ] about it. Thanks.
Okay. But but but what was the kiss cam thing? Seeing my best friend just suck my sister's face off traumatized me. So I'm just wondering why you did that.
Run. I mean, it's a kiss cam. It's a game. Everyone does it a game. I just feel like it's kind of I
don't know a dream. This is a guy that you've had a crush on your whole life.
Well, it was him or it was Chad. So, who did you want me to pick? That's fair. Chad sucks. Yeah.
Tone it down a little bit. Okay.
He's my best friend and I don't want things to be weird. They won't be.
Okay. Thanks. What was that?
Sorry, I got water in my nose.
Okay, I'm okay. Don't drown. Okay. Okay. Have a good soak, I guess. Okay. Bye.
[clears throat]
Die. Good talk.
Wait,
[music]
I have to ask you something. I'm going to ask him out on a date.
Don't be the little sister, Allison. Be the girl he kissed. There's this
[sighs and gasps]
like stupid event thing tomorrow. I just was wondering if you would want to go with me.
Got plans. Allie.
Okay. Yeah, whatever. I just
[sighs and gasps]
Rat. Guess we have the same plans.
Except his are with Rita, not me.
Look, Charity Case is running a charity sale. She's finally giving back. Did you know Allison hand makes these little trinkets? It's giving kindergarten arts
and crafts. [laughter] I didn't know you two were coming together. I came by myself.
Brett was kind enough to help me with my family's donation. Daddy donated a little of his collection. Nothing major.
Just some Birkin bags, some vintage Rolex watches.
Let's see what you're pedaling here, Ally.
Huh? [sighs] How much are you asking for this? $15. I made it myself. $15 for some plastic and twine.
You don't have to buy it. It's ambitious.
You know, I don't think it's ambitious enough. I'm going to take every single one of these bracelets.
You want to say $500 a piece?
Are you insane? You actually want this garbage.
You know, I value the artist. That's just how expensive something looks. So, $500.
What's that supposed to mean? She's nothing.
You know, you're nothing. Especially compared to her. How dare you compare me to this peasant?
Why don't you get out of here? I'm serious. Don't come back to the table again.
[sighs]
You know, I do think this stuff is pretty What are you doing?
What do you mean? You can't keep doing this to me. You blew me off yesterday and then today you come and you buy all of my jewelry. You're distant with me
one second and then you defend me the next. What do you want?
I'm I'm just trying to Oh, Alison party at my place celebrating the big win. You coming?
I don't know. Um I'm not interested.
She's a grown woman. She can speak for herself. So, what do you say?
You're not going anywhere.
And there goes the big brother act again. Who does he think he is toying with my feelings like this? You hate Chad, Brett? Fine. Chad's my new best
friend, then. You know what? Yeah, sounds fun. I'll be there.
[music]
There she is. My guest of honor. Damn, Alison, you look sexy.
Oh, thanks.
[music]
It's a cool party.
Yeah, you know, I threw this whole thing just for you. Really? For me? Why did you do that?
You're single. [snorts] I'm single. You need another reason? So, what's the deal with you and Brett? Huh?
No deal. There's nothing happening between us. He's just a friend of a friend of my brother. So,
is his loss my game? [laughter] Hey, you picked the wrong guy to kiss on the cam. Allison, let's fix that.
Yeah. No, why not? There's nothing between me and Brett, obviously. Maybe I should just move on. You ever played the pocky challenge? No.
What's that?
We each bite from one end until one of us chickens out.
Damn it. Why am I thinking about him at a time like this? Come on, Alison. You're already here.
Fine. But I play to win.
I could check it out. 10 bucks. Say they kiss.
Dude, what the game's over. Let's go.
[laughter]
Excuse me. What are you doing? Huh?
Get off of me. What do you think you're doing? You're ruining my night.
You think I care that I'm ruining your night? What do you think Ron would think if he knew you were Don't care. How about you, elector someone who gives a Come on. Okay. No more of these stupid games. You don't have to play the game. I know. Let's go.
I don't have to play these stupid games. I'm playing them because I want to. Get the away from me.
Oh my god. Push. I got you. I got you. You okay?
[laughter] Hey, hold the Hold the Hold the It's okay. I got you. I got you. I got you. [laughter]
Oh my god. Is she okay?
[laughter]
Hey. Hey. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Hey. Hey. You okay? I can't. I [laughter] can't feel it. I can't feel it.
Breathe. Just try to breathe. All right. Hey.
[gasps]
Okay. All right.
Let's get [laughter] Let's get ready. Okay.
[laughter]
Get out of my way.
God, just put me down, Greg. Go. Put [laughter] you down. You know, you could have died.
And Chad, I mean, my god, you have no business being around that guy, let alone being this close to kissing him.
Huh? Anybody would have a brain cell realized he's a total douchebagger, right? That's not fair. What's not fair? What What's not fair?
What am I not understanding? Huh? What? What don't I understand?
That I don't know how this works. Okay, I'm sorry. I I'm figuring it out. I don't know how guys work all the time.
You know what? That's fantastic. I'm so happy that you're able to admit that. Okay. You're not any better than me.
I'm not any better. What did I do? How am I not any better? What are you talking about? I I jumped to the pool. I saved your life. And now what?
[laughter] I'm an [ __ ] How am I worse?
You're worse because you saved me when I was drowning. Yeah.
Because you gave me your uniform when mine was ruined. Uhhuh.
Because you caught me when I fell in front of everyone. Because you drove me to school when I was late.
Yeah, I know. I sound like such a total jerk. [gasps]
[sighs]
You know, I don't understand. You made me fall in love with you.
Hey, that's the worst thing.
Don't say I did.
I fell in love with you. I'm in love with you. Stop. And you're my brother's best friend. I know that. I know.
So then why do you keep swooping in and saving me like a hero and then pushing me away? Am I crazy?
Do you not feel anything? Because you're playing with my feelings and you can't keep doing that. Okay.
I want [laughter] you to tell me to stop. Tell me that you don't want this.
Tell me you want me to get away from you right now. I'm going to tell you stop. [panting] I'm never going to tell [laughter] you to stop.
[sighs]
[gasps]
[ __ ] it. [clears throat]
Let's go. Yo, I'm like an habit. If it moves, got to grab it like a magnet.
I'm doomed in a casket.
You have no idea. Every single time I saw you, I always wanted to tell you that you've always been ain't a quitter. Kiss my best sister.
I'm move fast. New shoes, new tracks. Like who's that? I'm new. Come back.
Better than last. [music] I don't give a [ __ ] about promises anymore.
I'm never going to look back cuz damn, [music] I was built to last. You move slow and I move fast and that's [music]
only Every morning, every night, [music]
every single time I close my eyes, it's you that I see.
Every time
I want you to take me right here. I'm slipping back. Always stand tall.
I'm grinning. I got cuts real deep. I had to learn how to think with my head in my heart. I'm being chewed up torn
apart from picking up all the pieces for So what do we know?
What do you want us to be? What do you want me to be?
I want you to be mine. I think I already am.
But what about Ron? He's going to k*ll you.
No, Ron loves you very much. He's very protective older brother, but I think he'll come around when he sees how much I love you.
I don't know. I think I think we should maybe keep it a secret just for now.
I don't want to keep it a secret.
I know, [gasps] but it's just for a little until we find the right moment.
Yeah. Yeah. I won't do it your way. We'll be secret lovers.
[music]
[music]
thinking about you.
[music]
[music]
Hi, Captain. When are you coming to pick me up?
I am uh currently stuck in the worst traffic ever right now. I'm 2 seconds away from ditching my car and just sprinting to you.
A well, as much as I'd love to see you running to me, don't. My legs are k*lling me, and I really like your car.
Oh, I know you love my car. He grabs me by the waist, hoisting me up, putting me on the hood of his car. Brett, stop. Don't read my smut.
I'm telling you, every single word that you have ever written is etched into my heart, into my soul.
He trails kisses from my neck to my breasts, gently sucking and biting.
Holy, that is literal trash. But why does it sound like Fifty Shades of Gray when he says it? [sighs and gasps] I feel so hot right now.
Palm's my center. Slowly massaging my faults. Are you away, Ally?
Oh my god, someone's coming. Um, I have to go fake my own death. Bye. I'm glad that somebody's coming.
[gasps]
Hey, are you okay? You sounded sick. Do you need help?
Mind your own business, Virgin Mary. You think just cuz Brett took a chance on you once, you're on my level now? I was just trying to help.
Save it for someone who gives a damn. sh**t. I'm late.
[sighs and gasps]
Brett, that's Alison's.
Uh, I found it in the bathroom. If I'd known it was your little girlfriends, I never would have touched it.
See what you're up to. Hey. Hey.
You found my bag. I was looking for that. Thank you.
No problem. [clears throat] Attention all members of the cheerleading squad. It has been brought
to our attention that apparently someone on this squad is using ill*gal drugs. I strongly suggest whoever is responsible
to come forward now. Otherwise, we'll be forced to contact the campus police for a thorough search. Well, I think we all
know someone who would do anything to stop being the fat friend, right?
I'm sorry, but I just saw you throwing up in the bathroom like 10 minutes ago. Excuse me. I was fixing my makeup.
Sounded like you were wretching and I asked you if you were okay.
This is perfection. It's every girl's dream. I don't need shortcuts. And we all know someone who could lose a little weight. I mean, after all, who came in
with zero athletic ability and suddenly has endless energy? Search me. [gasps] I have nothing to hide.
Your turn, Scott. Sure, but I Rita. Jackpot.
Well, well, well. Look who needs drugs to keep up with the real athletes. I knew it. No one gets that good that quick without cheating.
Allison, performance-enhancing substances are grounds for immediate dismissal of the squad. Coach, I promise you, I've never seen those before. Okay,
those those aren't mine, right? A cheater and a liar.
Coach, please listen to me. I've never seen those. I I don't know what they are. I lying. It's the only way a cow like her could ever compete with us.
They're mine. Yeah, those are actually uh my uh vitamins. Did you forget I asked you to hold on to my vitamins this morning?
Yeah, sorry. I should have uh labeled them or something.
He's right. They're just vitamins. No, they aren't.
Uh, Miss Russo, how is it that you come to possess such extensive knowledge of these banned substances? [clears throat] I just
they looked suspicious. We We were just worried about the integrity of the team.
Yeah, we wanted to make sure everything was legitimate.
That's enough. All I see here are three bullies trying to frame a teammate.
Rita, you are stripped of captaincy effective immediately. What? You can't do that. Championships are in 2 weeks.
Nobody else knows the whole routine.
I mean, I know it. Yeah, every count, every formation. I could step up and do it.
You little [ __ ] You think you can just walt in here and steal everything from me? That's enough, Rita. My decision is final.
I know.
Listen up. When it's Allison's turn for the basket toss, you're going to have a little timing issue. You want us to drop her? She could get seriously hurt.
That's the point.
Accidents happen all the time in cheerleading. So tragic. I can't do that. Coach will k*ll me.
Fine. Then say goodbye to those little supplements that keep you fitting in your uniforms. I know everything, girls.
Every dirty little secret. Do exactly as I say or you're gone. Your call. and make sure she falls hard enough she never gets back up.
Very sweet.
What happened back there? How did you know that Rita put those vitamins in my purse?
I uh saw Rita putting something in your bag, so I swapped it out.
I knew it. I knew she was up to something. You know, I heard her in the bathroom like 10 minutes before. Yeah,
she was throwing up. It was when we were when we were having bone sex.
So, she's the one who interrupted my grand finale. Alison, do you have any idea how hard it was to stop?
Hey, do you [sighs] do you think I'm fat?
Seriously, who put that garbage in your head?
I don't ever want you to say anything like that again.
I mean, I'm being serious, though. I'm being serious, too, Alison. Perfect. Just the way you are. Yeah.
I'll always be there to catch you when you fall. Always.
All right. On the count, you'll both perform an elevated prep. Rita, you're up first, then Allison.
[music]
Okay, hey, great job you guys. You k*lled it.
Hey, I told you to catch you.
Brett, [gasps] you just saved my life. [sighs] I guess that makes me like a backup cheerleader or something, huh?
Are you serious, Scott? You bailed on the stunt so you could dry hump the football captain?
Are you kidding me? They almost dropped me. I could have been paralyzed. I could have died. That would have been the best news of my life. Rita, that is a disgusting thing to say.
Leave the gym and think very carefully about your future on this team.
Rat, thank you. My gosh, I really appreciate that catch. I almost had a heart attack. All right, everyone. In
light of the performances and character, I am so proud to announce Allison Scott as the new captain. [laughter] Thank you.
Wow.
Congratulations, Kathy Scott. I'm proud of you. Want to show me just how proud you are?
And that's game. State loses 21-35.
Ally, look, I know it's not what you wanted. It's okay cuz you did good. It's all that matters.
Thanks, bro. I'm going to go take a piss. I'll be right back. Ew. Don't ever touch me again, weirdo. Yo, Alice. There she is.
Looking good, baby.
Y'all do private shows? You know, something with a little extra bump and grind. You're so gross.
Yo, what the hell? Are you serious?
What? What's going on? I'm just waiting for the MVP.
No, don't play with me, [ __ ] You've been teasing me for weeks.
I'm in your dreams. How about you spend more time training on the field so that what happens today never happens again.
You think you're so [ __ ] special.
Why? You know, everyone knows how you got the captain's position. How?
By sucking your way to the top. I mean, that must be how you got out there, considering how much you suck while you play.
You shameless [ __ ] Hey, one more win. I did. You're defending your [ __ ] on her, huh?
She's a public bus. Everybody gets a ride. Hey. Hey, [ __ ] face.
You keep my sister's name out of your [ __ ] mouth. Hey,
[screaming]
hey. That's that's enough. What's going on here?
I mean, coach, we all saw it. Chad's going to hit her. You're going to hit her? Get in my office now. You with me.
This is a really nasty cut. Okay, let's We should take you to the ER. Okay. All right. You sure you're all right?
It's a really nasty cut, Brett. You could have broken your hand. Yeah, well, it was totally worth it.
Never let anybody get away with treating you like that. Set up.
Now, I could kind of get used to this having uh nurse Allison around. Take care of me. Help me out.
Yo, guys. 304. I think it's this one. Let's go see the hero. Hero.
Oh [ __ ] No. That's Ron and the whole team. They can't see us like this. You won't let him. Let's show him. Let's show him the truth.
In front of the entire team. Ron's going to k*ll you.
[clears throat]
Let's hide. [laughter] Brett. Yo, Brett, you in there?
Yeah, I'm just uh washing up, man.
God, you have no idea how crazy you drive me. You know, every single time I see you, all I can think
about is uh doing this. You need a hand, man?
No, I got everything I need uh right here.
[sighs]
[gasps]
Fred, stop jerking off and get your a*s out here, man. Hey, you know what? It uh takes me a very long time, [ __ ]
I feel what you did to me.
[clears throat]
It's kind of hard to mess.
Yeah, arms are Brett, you got to you got to speed this up, man. We got your food. It's going to get cold. You know my hands are soft, bro. I can help you.
Hey, why don't you guys just beat it?
All right, I'm going to be a little while. All right, let's just give him some space.
Enjoy your blue ba*ls. You don't pull a muscle.
You know, I took a pretty big hit for you today. I think I've earned some uh Allison physical therapy time, if you know what I mean.
You know, you could have just asked.
You didn't have to pick a fight to get lucky.
[music]
Strip.
Are you going to help me? No, I think I'm just going to watch.
I'm so I'm Brad goes pro after this. Guaranteed.
I've heard the hop show's going to break the internet. Captain Scott's changed the whole game. Sick.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's make some noise for your State University cheerleading squad led by Captain Allison Scott.
I will end you. Leave it.
Save your applause, everyone. You're cheering for a fraud. Your precious new cheerleading captain didn't earn her spot. She bought it with ill*gal performance enhancers.
And her dealer, look no further than your MVP, Brett Harrison.
Wait, what?
That's That's not true. You know what? I don't care. Rita's the one that's been taking drugs, okay? She's got pretty much the whole team hooked on them. Just ask them yourself.
Oh, really? Let's ask the squad, then. Brett approached us about a month ago.
He said he had good stuff, but only if we helped Allison become captain.
You know that's [ __ ] I have proof. I know real doctors. I've got pills.
Ally, no more being blackmailed. Let Allison take the captain position.
[clears throat]
This is insane. Okay. I've never taken a drug in my life. Oh, sweetie. It's all coming out now. I saw her taking pills for practice.
We trusted you. Cheater.
Hey, anybody who messes with her messages with me.
Open your eyes, Brett. She's using you for the clout, for the status. Who was she before you slept with her? Nobody. A total bottom feeder.
Rudy, you know what? You're so full of [ __ ] It's so believable. How'd you get that video, huh? And what'd you do to it?
You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide.
[screaming]
Listen, just please listen to me.
Hey, everybody, just shut up. This is my sister, okay? She would never do something like this. And here come the pretzels.
All right, that's enough. That's enough.
Now, in light of these significant allegations, as well as the evidence that has been presented, I have no choice.
Allison Scott, you are hereby removed from your position as captain of the cheerleader. Furthermore, you are placed on academic suspension pending an expulsion hearing.
Justice for the real athletes.
Hold on. Hold it. If you would please look to the jumbotron.
I know some real doctors that can help you guys get healthy the right way. No more pills. No more purging. No more blackmail. You'd really help us?
Absolutely. You guys are never going to have to take any of Rita's dangerous spells ever again. So, what's the catch?
We're going to make Rita take some pearl medicine. This video, this is the real conversation, not the edited one that Rita just played. Now, for the drugs.
These are the drugs that I gave the girls. They're vitamins. You can get these at any pharmacy in the world. You want to check these out, Principal?
He's right. These are common supplements.
Everybody, Rita is the one who has been forcing her teammates to take dangerous weight loss supplements. She's been threatening them if they wouldn't
comply. And she's been shaming them, degrading them for the bodies that they have. Now, everybody is different, but all bodies are beautiful. Rita sabotaged
Allison for one reason, one reason only, because she was a threat. She threatened the total control that Rita had over the entire squad. And it's horrible because
Allison, she's a beautiful person and she would never do anything like this and she deserves to be the cheer captain.
[snorts]
That's not true. He's lying.
She's the one who seen drugging the team. Lock her up. [screaming] Lock her up. Lock her up. Lock her up.
You [ __ ] [ __ ] You ruined my life. You ruined it yourself.
[screaming]
Look at you playing the victim. You've been throwing yourself at me for weeks.
Just when I give you a chance, you run crying to Harrison. Nothing but a little.
Shut up, dude. Shut up. What are you going to do about it, Harrison?
I don't have to do anything. You're going to get exactly what you deserve right now. Mr. Williams.
Apparently, we've had a number of allegations of sexual harassment against you from various female students. As of now, you are officially suspended from all school activities.
What? No. My father?
Your father may have his name on the library, but I assure you his money will not buy you immunity. You can take him away.
Party's over. Let go. I'll throw you off. This isn't over.
And as for you, Miss Scott, on behalf of the entire administration, I would like to apologize to you
for everything that you've had to endure. And as of now, you can consider yourself officially reinstated as captain.
You can consider yourself officially reinstated as captain.
Thank you, principal. All right, everyone. Sorry for the unexpected drama. I hope you enjoyed the show, but
we have a game to get back to. So, let's cheer on our wolves. Let's win.
[cheering]
Dad State University wins it all.
Y
[laughter]
[cheering]
kiss.
[screaming]
Hey, Alison. the way I'm not even surprised.
Hey, well, you know what? Uh, he's cool.
I think he knew before we I love you, kid. Love you, too. Quarterback.
I'm looking.
And honestly, I'm [music] not really sure I want saving. I'd like to be my own worst enemy. There's no risk if you don't try at anything. So I'mma just get by in everything. [music] See you in the
next life to be a better me. [singing] I don't think that my head's on straight.
Got to flip it and grip it and go and get an X-ray. What's wrong with me? I just [music] feel weight. Pushing on my chest and it's squeeze till I suffocate. Better change my mindset.
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